Dear, Asshole who stole my watch Well asshole you have managed to piss me off, you worthless piece

of shit, scum of the earth lowlife. What really pisses me off is that you attend the very same prestigious institution as I do. So as I took a shower in the 3rd floor of Patterson Hall I took my watch off as to not get it wet. (for I paid hard-earned money for it and didnt want to ruin it). Yes. I took this watch off and placed it on the window seal of the bathroom in full faith that if not for morals and respect, then the fear of an honor violation would prevent someone from stealing it. I was wrong. I was dead ass wrong. For you asshole, have no morals, you have no respect. You saw my watch and stole it as I showered. Oh, how stupid was I, with my false sense of security and comfort, my young naive soul, believing in the goodness in people. You took advantage of me asshole. And for now until the end of eternity I shall represent your demise! And thus, this is my prayer, my hope, my curse upon you, you thieving bastard. May your girlfriend cheat on you with a Sodexo worker. May the very same watch you stole from me break, and cause you to be late to a meeting, may your roommate walk in on you masturbating to interspecies erotica pornography. May you lose your flash drive during finals week. May your Netflix account get terminated. And may you suffer from a lifetime of premature ejaculation. In short, I hope that stealing my watch brings an atrocious and unyielding curse upon you, you watch stealing asshole. -WJ NORWICH FOREVER.