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248 •

CRETAN BHAGNf

'It's raining: she said, excited. 'It's an auspicious sign. The first time you came to our house; I said. She raised an eyebrow. 'Itisours, notmine. I made it for us; I said .

.:Shut up. Y~u didrtt. know we would be together when .construction

started: she said and grinned.
1.- smiled. 'Correct. But I have done it up for us. Else, why would I

need stich a big house?'

...

<Youare the4ir~ctGr. It's nota J6ite: she said. 'You want to talk about Ragh~v?: I said. I sensed she needed to. <We don't have to; she said and shook her head, putting on a brave smile. 'Come here; lsaid and patted the bed. She hesitated, but I extended my hand. She held it as I pulled her gently down. I kissed. her, and she kissed me back with closed eyes. It wasn't frantic or sexual, It was, if at all it is possible to kiss like that, chaste and pure. However, we kissed for a long time, our pace as gentle as the rain on the window. I felt her tears on my cheeks. I paused and held , her shoulders. protective. 'What's up, my love?' I said to her. 'I am happy for you, Gopal. I really am: 'Us. Say happy for us: I said. She nodded: even as she fought back tears. (I am happy for us. And I don't want to ruin your moment of showing me your house: lIt's fine: Isaid. 'You have worked so hard to get here. You deserve this: she said. 'What do you want to talk about?' I said. She shook her head and composed herself. I waited for her to talk. 'I'm fine. Girls are emotional. You will get used to my drama: she said. 'I live for your drama; I said. She hugged me and buried her face in my chest. It was what Aarti always did, and I loved it when she did that. It made me feel

REVOLUTION

2020

249

She smiled, 'How's Raghav?' 'They ruined his office: she said ... 'Politicians are vindictive. Is he hurt?' I said. 'No, thank god. The computer and the machines are all broken. He is trying to bring the issue out but there's no money: 'He wants money? He can ask me; I said. I wished he would come and beg me on bendedknees. 'You know he'll never do that, He won't even take money from me: 'S O. I Sal. 7' 'J 'He's trying to figure stuff out: Are you still with mer I said. 'Gopal r she said. 'What?' 'I wouldn't be sitting on your bed. I wouldn't be, you know ... ' 'Okay. okay: I said. I took a pillow and sat against the headrest. on her haunches, facing me. this is 'You have to stop asking me so much. Please understand difficult for me; she said. 'What?' I said. 'Breaking up with him, especially at this time. And you wantto the news to him: 'That's life, Aarti, I said. I planned to go meet Raghav next week. 'One should be sensitive .. .' she said. break She sat

'Nobody was sensitive to me when I didn't dear my entrance exam

.,..
',

two years in a row. Nobody gave a fuck when Baba died. I lived with it. Aarti, he will learn to face life: 'You men ... why are you so competitive all the time?' she said. 'Me? Raghav is nothing compared to me today. Why would I compete

with him?'
'We can still wait a few months ... ' she said but I cut her. '1 can't bear you to be someone else's girlfriend: loud. 'Really?' she said, patting I said, my voice

my cheek.

250 +

CRETAN BHAGAT

'Not for another second: I said. I tugged at the loose end of her Ramada sari, bringing her close to me. We kissed. .The rain grew insistent, noisy, thumping the window rhythmically. We kissed and, naturally, my hand went to her blouse. 'Mr Director; she smiled) '1 thought you said you didn't want to have me until he was out of my system? 'Isn't he?' I said. 'Almost: she said, dosing her eyes. 'Well, maybe this will help get the remaining bits out: I said and brought her lips to mine again. I plundered her neck planting as' many kisses as the raindrops on the window. We undressed with a lot more awareness than the previous time. 'These are my work clothes, please keep them carefully: she said as I tried to fold the never-ending sari. OUf naked bodies felt toasty in the. cold weather. We huddled under the quilt and explored each other for hours. The rain stopped, started and stopped again. She wanted to get closer tome, perhaps to justify leaving Raghav. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. Icould give up this oversized house) the black car, the entire college for her. This time she looked me in the eye as she surrendered herself. We dozed off. 'It's six 0' dock: she said, peering into her mobile phone on the sidetable. 'Ten more minutes: I said, nuzzling her shoulder. 'Lazy bones, wake up: she said. 'And I am famished. Such a big house and nothing to eat!' I sat up. Still groggy, I said, 'There's food. The cook made so many things for you. Let's go downstairs: