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 Wayne C. Allen was born in Buffalo, New York in January of 1951.
H is interest in psychology and religion led him to Elm hurst Illinois,
where he com pleted a B. A. in both areas (1973). H e im m igrated to O n-
tario, Canada in 1975.
In 1981, Wayne received a M asters of D ivinity (M .D iv) from the U niver-
sity of T oronto (K nox College.) graduated with a M asters in Pastoral
Counselling (M .T h) in 1983.
Since 1983, Wayne has been in Private Practice in O ntario, Canada. H is
interest in Z en, coupled with his ferventbelief in self-responsibility, has
led him to develop a style of counselling he calls "Zen Bodywork Psycho-
therapy." Com bining Body and Breathwork, dialog and teaching, Wayne's
approach allows his clients the optim um opportunity for personal growth and insight.
Wayne is able to quickly and effortlessly cut to the heart of the m atter, bringing both encouragem ent and
challenge to his audience.
Wayne's expertise in Bodywork and Breathwork has led to public teaching events and m edia attention.
Wayne was recently featured on "Body + H ealth," teaching breathing techniques for stress reduction.
Wayne is the author of three books, the latest (2005) being This Endless Moment, a book rooted in Zen-
based approaches to self-responsibility.
Wayne is a gifted and m ulti-faceted speaker, teacher, and presenter. H e regularly receives consistently
high m arks for his insight, knowledge, and com passion.
Links:
This Endless Moment – Wayne's excellent Z en-ish book on self-responsibility, elegant living, and finding
your purpose.
http://www.phoenixcentre.com /press/endless_m om ent/index.htm
Bodyw ork Training C D -R – a teaching tool that runs on your com puter. Learn Bodywork and Breath-
work for an expert.
http://www.phoenixcentre.com /press/bodyworkcdr/index.htm
Subscribe to our Blog and read |Wayne’s m usings on life and elegant living—Wayne teaches you excel-
lent com m unication, focus, and self-responsibility.
http://www.phoenixcentre.com /subscribelist1.htm
 -4-

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 -5-

2 2 / 4 # 1 2 % /
4

This requires a couple of things:

1 7 " + :4 4 4 # 1 7
" + :4 2 7 1 1 7
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 -6-

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 -7-

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 -8-

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 -9-

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 - 10 -

4 5 / 1 # # ' # 2 (4 " 2 /4 $( 7
# 7 7 2 # 1 4 # % # 4 # 7 / '
4 #2 # # 5(#7 7 5 4 $( 7 2 ( 4
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4 (<% # " # 2 (4 ( % < ' " 7( (#5 / 4
5 : " 7( 2 #" & 2 7 # 4 7 #4 2 / 7
? < 4 5 /@ #5 7
 - 11 -

K ( % 5 1 ## 7 1 ## ? 7 7 " 2 # @ 5 9
/ / 7 5 # #7 / 2 # #( 7 %2 5 # #7 /
7 2 2 # " / 7 = ( 5 # #7 / 7( 5 #
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7 7 / 4 4 % 4 2 8 4 7
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2 ( #1 # 2 % >( 2 4 2 #
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 - 12 -

( "4 / % 1 7 #1 7 ; "(
# # 7 5 ( 4 2 % # 2 2 5 #
" 2( " " 5
 - 13 -

'# # '( 1 8 "" 2 '( # 7 '( E '#

E # # '( 7 4 " '# " /4 # #
(77 7

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1 ;# < /(2 " ( 5( 1 (2 4 2 / 5 44
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5 ( (E@

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(7 42 " # '# 42 7 (4
 - 14 -

'( % # 7 0

G '# 5 % 72 2
G '# (## 1 5 2 ( < #
)G # # 4 72 / 7 4 '# (
# #

; 4 1 (# % " 2 / 7 / 1 ( 2 7 $ 5
% 7 / 7 ( % 2 / (7 1 ( # ' # 5 2 9'#
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7 : 1 1 (7 # # '( 1 4 /4 # / # 5
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4 2 # " # / 5 # # ( # #14 (
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 - 15 -

Exercise

1 " 1 7 >( 0 7 1 (#/ 4 ; /

5 (9

/ # % (( # 4 ( # ( 4 # 4 ( % 1 "
/ 79 JK 7 2 7 2 H 7 5 15 7 1 # 7 4 7 2 /4 7
/ 7( 7 / 4 5 G 2 % ## DDDDD

2 " 5 % 5 % ( % % ( # 4 % 7 72 7 9

# < ( 4# 71 # < 1 9
 - 16 -

" #$ % & '(

1 1 7 B H( 1 1 7

:( 9 ;/ 1 # # ( # ( >( ( 1 ;
# ( / 7 7 0

( " 22( / / " 4 1 ( # (/ # (2

2
"1 1 1
" / ( J # 2 G 1 7 1 (4 1

J% /4 DG # 0

# 1 1 % " ? 7 # ( 4 @

# 1

; 1 " # 1 5 / 1 1 # "( / /
7 1 # "" 2( 71 1 1 % # #
( 4 % 4 2

; ( " ( # 1 LH // # 7 < 1 / 2
$ ( # 1 A 7" # $ 7 / (# ( # " 5 7 1 2 ( 7(
( ( # 4 1 &% / 7 # 7 7 2 /4 4 2
(4 1 2 / ( /5 B ( ## / "1 % (
1"( K ( 4( 2 # 1 5( 2 " 4 2( #

# 1 2 #1 7 +, ; 2 #1 " # (
1 7 7 ; / 7 5 4 # # # 5 ( 1 / / # # 2
" # 4 ; # " 7 4 1 ( 4 2 7 # % (4
( 4 2 /D +( " 2 #( # 1 K (" 7 / 2
5 ' ( % 2 % # ( 4 1 / : " 7 7 /5 2 B
?; # # D@ ?K ( # # D@ ( 4 4 # 1 # " 7 7
# 4 1 / / # " ( # 4
2 " (1 # 2 # 1 ( / #

(/ % 2 # " / 2 7 # 1
2( #% /(2 # 1 ( / 7 2 ( # # 1 4 #
 - 17 -

4 &% " ( 4 # 7 4 # B / 7 (2 L7
( 7 % <B1 2 # ( /4 7 ( # 1 7
7 2 # # 1

K ( ("" ( " ( # 1 4 % 1 ( # 5 % 5 ( 5 (
( 4 ; ( ("" 4 % 1 5 4 (
% K % 2 " # 1 # 2 / H 5 2 1 #
% 72 " 2 # 1

; ## 1 (# ( ( "1 (1 ( %
5 4 " 4 2 D

"( 7 5 ( (2 # 1 0 ( 7 % # 4 % 7
1 # ( # 1 # / 2( " 2 5 ( ( 4
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?K ( J# G 1 % MMMMMMMMMMM@
?K ( J# G 1 % MMMMMMMMMMM@
?; 2 # 4 # ( MMMMMMMMMMM@
?; / 1 ;1 K ( # 1 (1 @
?;" ( % #/ ( 1 ( # MMMMMMMMMMM@

7( 7 " ( # 1 " 1 7( 7 "

! 1 " ( 5 ( 5 ( # 1 # 7 # #
/ /5 9 / # 1 1 #

5 2 '( #' # # 2 4 '( < # 1 2 #

1 / ' # ## 2 7 / '( #
7 / ' # 2 2 7 %# 2 "' # < # 1
4 # 1 2 / ( / ; H( 1

+ " /4 # #A #

# 0 ? 7 5 J' 5 7 "" G : < /(2 / % J

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A # 0 ?; 7 ( ;</ 7 / 7 /
2( #; / / / # ( 5( ; # < < 5 #
@
 - 18 -

! 1 "2 ( 4 5 / 5( < # #
1 1 # # 7 5 # A # 4 7/
7 # 1 1 % ( 2 / 4 " 4 2 # 7( 7
2 7 " 2 " 7 2 # F( 5 2 #
1 #

A # # 7 4 5 / : 1 7
5 1 1 ? # # @ 1 # ?5 % # "@ # 1 44
7A # # 1

( 2 1 4 4 5 4 2 5 (
1 #N 7 " / # / ; 1 #
5 ( 4 " # # / 1 1 ( " 2 4
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41 5% ( 1
 - 19 -

Exercise

" 5 ( ( ? %# 2 # 1 @2 J;" (
4 % % # / (/7 1 2 # 7% 7 5
" #G$ 7 % 2 / / # H( " / J?:
7D@G ; " # 7 / " ( # " ( K ( 4
( 2 0 ?C( DDD@ / / 1 1 H( 5 ( JK ( / 7 1
( /4 8 /G
 - 20 -

' ' )

4 4 4 2 # "" 2( 4 4 0 (
# " 5 2 5 ( H 1 1 / ; 2 ( 7 4 4
# 4 # 5 2 " 2( # # " # 7 1 (
# 24 1 % 7

1 ( H( / % / 4 C # 4 4 >(
1 # 1 1 # # / 4(
# 71 1 1

I < ; (# / 4( % 5 % ( 2 /
/ 4 #2 ( ; % # H( " 1 ; 1 1 (
2( ( / 2 4 4 5 / 4( % 2 1 J" /4 /
/ 4 1 4( 4 ( # 1 2( # 1 / (
/ " / # G #5 1/ 5 # 4 #5

$
; 4 1 / # 4 2 5 2 % / # # 7 #
2 ( 4 ( 4 #/ 7 5

4 7 # B
# 5 % 4" ;< # 2 5 , / 4 4
' 1 4 7 % 2 # 2 ( 5 #
5 (2 7 # 7 (# " 1 # ! 2 2# 2 %
5 #/ 2 # ; 7 (7 1 ;
4 # ( # (7 # (4 7 2 # " #
# ? ( # 1 @
; 4 # 1 /(2 / A # " # 7 5 44
7 4 # # "5 7 2( # ? D@ 1 (#
1 # 7 " = " ( " . " (
A # 2 " 1 7 7 1 # # 1 4 7 2 2
" 1 2 ; % ( 7 1 K
2 5 2 ( / 5 1 1 7

I >( 1 B
A ( "/ " 2 1 4 4 " # & 2 1 " 1
# " 1 (#2 / 2 7 7 4 2 7
(7 / " # / 1/ # 1" 1 / ' 1 (#7
/ # 1 ( # 4( /5 42 7 (4 / 5 # % 7 1
 - 21 -

/ 2 / 7 / # 7A (
& 2 1 1 1 (#J 5 ; 1 ( #G 2 / (4 1 4
1 4 5 / & 2 1 1 ( # #( "( 7 / ## ; ##
2 # 1 1 (#5 5 2 1 1 < ( % # #
1 # 1
% # 1 ; 44 # 4 5 / % 7 # # 1
" /

%! &
O2 // # >( 4 2 " / 7
" 2 7 / # / 7 # 1 #

: 4 : B
2 ( 1 4 7 # ; 4 E1 E 4
7 (7 # " # 4 % /
# 2 5 / % # 4 # 4
2( ( ( 4 4 2"2
# ( ( 4 ( (7 22 4 4 5 /
2 #
; 2 ## 4 " / 1 2 ; / # % 2 /
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# # ?;< 5 (# < % 2 # @ #
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?; 1 K ( # < 1 1 # ( 5 # # ; "7
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( 5 # 4 K (# < ( # #@ 1 # 1
+" 2 ( ;# ( # # ; # " 1 (# % 2 7
( # # 7 " " # # ( 5 # 1 (# %
2 7 7 5 % ( # 1 " % 2 / 8# 5
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5 44 @

$ 4 #$ B
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1 # 4 " 7 " %2 /8 # 4 # # 7 /
5( 42 7 5 4 5 / ? 7 5 # 1 ;
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2 7 5 % ( 1 / " % 2 / " 5 # (45 7 7
( 1 (#5 " 7 " # /4 22 4 /
 - 22 -

: 7 5 2 ( ( / # 1
2 % 2 % " E 7( 7 "$ 4 #$
?C # " 5 # ; (#5 4 2 # 2 7 D@

$ & '$ & (

/B
/ 1 / 1 ( 5 # 5% ( " /
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# " 7 4 ( < " 2 ?;<% # ( # # ( F(
2 5 / ;< /4 @ ?$ < (#
7 5 ( 1 ( @ ?K ( 1 1 ( # # < 7 #
5 / 7 2 F( # H5 ;<% 7 # " ( H5 @
= ( 1 ?/ / @ 4 / % 4 1
4 5 ( 5 # # 71 (#5 # " 1
2 7 % 2 # 2 4 2 % % 1 " 7 #
1 7 2 2 # 1 17 #5 (7 5 %

$ $ #B
$ $ # " ( # : 4 # # " 2
>( 5 % 1 7 7 1" / 4
# : # / ( (77 " 7 : 5 (
1 " 5 7 ?7 # 7 @ ?; 2 ( # < % 1 ( 7 @ $
1 7 #7 # / 5( / >( # ( 5 #1
7 : 5 4 2 # 2 /4 2 0 ?;<% 4 #
2 >( 5 5( # " " 7( @: ( 2
" 2 7% / 5( 1# 2 H(#7 5

) &
/ " 5 / 2 # 2 2 7 7 2
# % 2 5 7 1 ?K (E@ # 5 (

+ 2 (4 &// # 2 % 0

11
It is probably worth noting at this point that many males tend to approach therapy or change as if it were a pill or a potion.
Many men expect a fast fix that involves little or no work. (The way Aspirin works on a mild headache.) They also expect the
“fix” to last with minimal effort.
In reality, a better analogy for the change necessary for real growth, and analogy such men hate, is that of physiotherapy for a
sprained ankle. It takes time, it hurts, and for the rest of your life you have to think about where you are putting your foot.
 - 23 -

&// 0 ?K (< 1 7 5 ( 1 # (# < 4 4 4 K ( "

7 # # ( 4 # /(2 / K ( 2 # K (
% / @
0 ? 1 ( # ;9 K ( 2 /4 5 ( 1 ;# # 5 ( / 5
/ 5 &% 7 ( / 2 #2 / % ( " 2 #1 < %
K ( % / 5 ( 1 @

/ # 2 2 (4 2 7 4 1 " # # 2 # #
4 "4 2 5( / 2( 7 ## 7 # 2 " 4 #2
( 4 1 ( # & 2 4 1 5 # 2 # 7 # 2 ( 7 "" 2
2 7 " 4 7 % (4/ 4

* + & &
F( 1 ( # / # ( 2 4 #
( % 0 ?; # < " /(2 @ ?K ( " ( "@; 2 1
44 7 4 ( 7 " / 2 1 (#
5 4 " / #5 4 ( / 1 4 ( " 5 ( % 5(
/4 ( 7( / 4( + / 4( % 44 2 % 1 #
# /4 / /4 5 4 5

2( >( / 5 7 ( ( 2 % 7 4 (
# 1 # 7 >( 1 7 4 1 (7
7 ;" ; 7 % ;1 % ; # 2 (4 7 % 4 5 /N
7 ( / 4( ?7( @ 4 (5/ # % (
#5 7 % " ?C 4 7 # @

& , '+ , &

! >( ' / 4 ( 1 # 4 ( 1 " 7 #5 % (
' / 1 # " 5 #5 % ( ' / 2 28 4 7 # 7 (
2 >( " / " 4( / ( 2 ( % % 7 <
4 J / 4 G" 2 7

- ( - $ , ! , . /

; / 2 / 4( % 5 % ( 2 / " / # 2
5 1 # " 1 4 ( 4 < 5 % (
? (7 5 @ 4 1 2 /4 4 < 5 % ( /4
# "" 5( ( 1 7 " ?; " / 1 ## 1 @
/ / ? 1 / " / ## 1 @ ## 1 7 2 /
4 5 1 4 # / 1 / " 4 < 2>( 2 0? 5
 - 24 -

% @; 7 % / 71 2 /4 / #
" / 4 % ? " ; / ( ; 1 # 7 / @ ? # (
/ ( # < 7 7 2 2 2 &% 5 # ;<% % # # 2 2
2 D@

( / 4( % 5 % ( 7 1 1 1 5
7# 2 2 7 % 7 5 ( / 4( % 5 % ( ; 1 "2 7 7
1 ( 2 7 7 (2 % " 7 # 2 7 7 7
/ 7 # 2 7 #" 44
2 % 2 7 8 / 4( (5 2 2 ( % 44 ( (
2 ( 1 #5 % (
 - 25 -

EXERCISE

I ( " % ( I ( 4 / " ( (
 - 26 -

( *

4 " / " ; # 4 / 2 ( 7 ; # < 2( # /

5 "2 # 2 ( 75 " / " 44 #

(I 7 0 " 2 7 1 1 4 4 / % # 2
# /4 2 / 1 # 7 % "1 4 7 7
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 - 27 -

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 - 28 -

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 - 29 -

7 # # "% 2 E 7 E # 4 5 /
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 - 30 -

(4 7 / "" 2 / / / 7
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 - 31 -

EXERCISE

# (1 " ( 49

: 1# (1 " 5 ( ( 4 9

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 - 32 -

)!!$ ,!) (!") )% - ) %.

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 - 33 -

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 - 34 -

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 - 35 -

% ( 2 7 2 / " / ( 5 % ( % ( 2 / ;" 2 ( 7 (
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EXERCISE

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%/0%1 ,63 " (71

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 - 36 -

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 - 37 -

%/0%1 ,>3 /

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 - 38 -

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 - 39 -

++

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A Way Out of the Communication Mess

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 - 40 -

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 - 41 -

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 - 42 -

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 - 44 -

; # " (1 4 ( /( 0

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 - 45 -

: '% +

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 - 46 -

# 9I 4 2 < 7( 7 2 1 5 # "" 2( ;
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 - 47 -

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 - 48 -

/ " 2 # ( / O / 2 ' 1 # /
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#

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 - 49 -

7E # (77 7 / /

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 - 50 -

% ( 4 4 ( $ 4 2 5 / 42 2 %
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