The Cockroach Paradigm Lalaki, Tinodas ng Gillette. Binata Gilit sa Gillette.

I think both would make a catchy tabloid line. But the prospect of being in the morning papers is out of the question. I wouldnt be the first asshole thatll get his throat slit just because of a family reunion. You see, mom and I have been arguing since last week that I should get a hair cut and a shave. The hair part of the debates definitely a no contest. This Rasta-look has been my signature for almost a decade and no nagging mom will let me make a sudden change of ideology and shift to a boorish crew cut. You cant win all battles, though. With dad joining in the debate and threatening to cut off my internet connection if Ill not make myself presentable, Ive got to take some compromises. The Web is my lifeline, man. What can I say, the old man still has pretty good tricks up his sleeves. So Ive made a last-minute turn about and hurriedly shaved my goatee beard. But by now, my shaving skills have reverted back to adolescent level. Even if with the sophisticated shaving technology of this MACH3 Turbo, I still managed to cut a portion of the skin a hairline above my Adams Apple. The cars horn is blowing incessantly. Were late for half an hour. But I wont be going without a nice little plaster over this cut. Besides, havent they forgotten that this is the Philippines. 3 pm will be 4 pm. But I cant blame why the old mans so eager to meet his balikbayan cousins this time. Aside from loads of Knob Creek whiskeys, I can feel that hes dying to show off my younger brother who just placed 10th in the recent bar exams. My bro, the pride of the family right now. Ever since the results came out, my dads not stopped telling anyone that his sons so damn good like his father. Ive lost count how many times hed said on my face that it couldve been me on the spotlight had I chosen to be like him. I gave up putting up a defense against that attack years ago. You cant win an argument over an old lawyer whos got a sharp syllogistic mind. Family is all about traditions.