FIRST CONTACT

(C)Copyright 2012 All rights reserved

D T YARBROUGH

FIRST CONTACT
The alien stood before the council ready to give them the secrets of the universe. It will probably take us years to comprehend the information you are about to give us, said the council leader Professor Bumgard. I have prepared a questionnaire. If you would read it and answer a few questions we would be very grateful. What is the purpose of this questionnaire? asked the alien. I have listed some of the mysteries that most interest us, said Professor Bumgard. Along with some of our theories. It's like a multiple choice test. Select which theory best solves the mystery. This will give us something to work with while we wait for specialists to deduce the meaning of the data you are about to bestow upon us. Very well, replied the alien as he took the questionnaire and then took an empty seat. After a short period he returned to the podium and handed the paper to Professor Bumgard. The answer to the first question? It's string theory, isn't it? yelled Professor Gugenheim. I'm afraid not, replied Professor Bumgard as he looked at the questionnaire. All of the answers were left unmarked. At the bottom of the page were the words None of the above. Where's the alien? yelled Professor Jones. Is he coming back to give us the data? I don't think so, replied Professor Bumgard as he read the words on the back of the questionnaire which read You're not ready.