Industrial Revolution The Industrial revolution was a long gradual change that made enormous impacts around the

world that can be felt today. The Industrial revolution started in England around the mid 18th century and ended around the mid 19th century. Fossil fuel and many other inventions played a huge role in the Industrial revolution. There were tremendous changes socially, economically, and culturally around the world. Although the Industrial revolution drastically improved transportation, manufacturing, and trade, it caused an accumulation of pollution, an uprising of child labor, and it caused a high demand of slaves. Englands surplus of natural resources and high income helped start the Industrial revolution. England had substantial deposits of coal and iron which were in high demand during the Industrial revolution. The coal and Iron were used in factories that were being formed rapidly across England. They also had a well developed merchant class to invest in the economy and start factories. England also had a high urbanization rate compared to the rest of the world. This meant that many people were leaving farm and going into big cities looking for jobs. England had also invested tremendous amounts of money into infrastructure and it had a stable government, which promoted trading and investing in the economy. England was in magnificent condition economically, politically, and socially and thats why the Industrial revolution started in England. Inventions such as the cotton gin, water frame, seed drill, and steam engine helped accelerate the Industrial revolution by improving transportation, manufacturing, agriculture, and trade. The cotton gin was invented in 1793 by an American named Eli Whitney. The cotton gin made the cotton industry demand for more slaves and it help
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produce abundant amounts of clothing in a faster and cheaper way. The water frame was created by Richard Arkwright in 1768 and it would spin yarn or thread mechanically. The water frame also made it faster, easier, and cheaper to make clothing. Robert Fulton, an American engineer, invented the first commercial steam boat in 1800. Samuel Morse invented the telegraph sometime between 1832 and 1837. The telegraph made long distance communication possible. He was inspired to make the telegraph when his wife died while he was out of town and he didnt know about it. The greatest invention during the Industrial revolution was the steam engine. The steam engine was invented by James Watt, a Scottish inventor. The steam engine let factories form apart from rivers. The steam engine also made it faster, easier, and cheaper to mass produce goods. Then more and more factories formed because of it. The steam engine also improved transportation. The steam engine was used to create trains and boats which made it faster and easier to travel and trade. The steam engine helped mass produce goods, it made it easier to travel, and it also made it faster and easier to trade. The Industrial revolution caused a substantial use of fossil fuels and a rapid growth of population and urbanization, which caused tremendous amounts of pollution. The steam engine created a huge demand for fossil fuels such as coal, oil, and natural gas. The burnings of these fossil fuels caused a substantial amount of pollution. There werent any laws against littering or any sanitary restrictions back then. So people would litter and relieve themselves on the street. The rapid increase of population and urbanization increased the amount of litter and wastes on the street. The litter and waste then found a way to make it to rivers. When it got in the rivers it infected the drinking water of the people. So through out the early part of the 19th century Europeans dealt with frequent
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outbreaks of cholera and typhoid. Cholera and Typhoid are viruses that people get when they eat or drink something that has been infected human waste. In 1832 there was a huge cholera outbreak in Paris that killed twenty thousand people. Along with river pollution, air pollution was killing people. Factories were in the middle of giant cities and they didnt have any restrictions against releasing toxins into the air. Which then caused smog and it killed many people. The increased use of fossil fuel cause abundant amounts of pollution that killed many people and it has made lasting imprints in our environment that can be felt today. During the Industrial revolution children were forced to work in factories with little to no pay and harsh conditions. Children as young as six were forced to work and they would have to work up to 19 hours a day. They were forced to operate large dangerous equipment that would often kill or injure the kids. Orphans were usually the victim of the slave like behavior; factory owners would not pay them and claim that they would give the orphans food and shelter, when they usually didnt. If the children messed up or misbehaved they would be beaten. If they were late, they would be forced to wear weights across there neck and walk around with it all day. The weights caused injuries to the spinal cord and sometimes choke and kill them. Child labor made up fourteen percent of the work force in 1750. Factory owners would justify the use of child labor by saying it was helping the economy and it was building character for the children. Many children were injured or killed in child labor and they were abused and treated unfairly. The majority of the Industrialization caused a huge demand for slavery and it was a big reason for the Civil war happening in the United States of America. There was a colossal increase in slavery during the Industrial Revolution. In the United States there
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were about 654,121 slaves in 1790, but by the end of the Industrial Revolution and right before the civil war in 1860 there were about 3,950,511. Even though slavery increased all in some parts of the world, many countries, such as France in 1789, banned slavery during the Industrial Revolution( Slavery was banned in France during the French revolution, but was then reinstated by Napoleon Bonaparte in French colonies to grow sugar cane). In 1780, the state of Pennsylvania passed the Gradual Abolition of Slavery. It banned slavery for children of slaves and it ended the slave trade in Pennsylvania. The Gradual Abolition of Slavery set a precedent for other northern states to follow and it started a chain reaction across the northern part of the United States. Then the United States banned the slave trade in 1808 and in 1820 the United States banned slavery past the southern border of Missouri in the Missouri compromise. Slavery didnt end in the United States until the civil war (1861-1865). England took its first steps of ending slavery in 1787 when the Society for the Abolition of Slavery was formed, and it was banned in 1833 when the Slavery Abolition act of 1833 was passed. The Industrial Revolution started off with a stupendous increase in slavery, but then many countries started banning it. The huge increase in slavery in the south and the heavily urbanized north clashed about there differences in the opinion of slavery, which then led to the Civil war fought in the United States that almost tore the country apart. The pollution produced during the Industrial revolution caused many lasting imprints on our environment that can still be felt today. The pollution during the Industrial revolution force the king of England to create the London Board Of Health, which set laws for a sanitary environment to stop people from dying from polluted water and smog in the air. In 1852, the Metropolis Water Act forced water componies to
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relocate upstream and set regulations for drinkable water. The Act stopped the numerous cholera and typhoid outbreaks that happened in the Industrial revolution. In 1856, the London Clean Air Act was passed and it forced factories to get out of populated cities and relocate to rural areas. The precautionary acts created by England to limit the amount of pollution that is released into the air set a precedent for other countries to follow. These laws helped limit the amount of pollution released into the air, but they were and still are pollution problems after the Industrial revolution. Such as, a week in 1873 seven hundred people died from smog and in December 1952, smog killed four thousand people in London. From 1970-1994 sixty percent of cities in England witnessed acid rain. The pollution has also is blamed for global warming, which is the rising of the earths temperature. Many creatures have gone extinct because of the pollution in the Thames and Rhines river in England. Pollution during the Industrial revolution is still felt today and it is still a problem, with no solution in sight. Child labor had killed or injured many people across the world. It is still a problem today. Children are often forced to work to support there families in harsh conditions. Many countries have prohibited child labor. In 1996 it was estimated that there are 250 children ages 5-14 working. In Africa 2 out of every five children ages 5 through 14 works while in Asia its 1 out of 5 children. IN 1919 the ILO was created by the signing of the Treaty of Versailles and it adopted a Convention prohibiting children under the age of fourteen to work. In 1973 its Minimum Age Convention it was agreed upon those 138 countries that ratified it would raise the minimum age of employment to fourteen and kids under sixteen cant work too many hours. In 1991 the ILO launched the International Program on the Elimination of Child Labor (IPEC). Its priority is to prevent
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children from working in hazardous or otherwise abusive conditions. There have been drastic improvement in child labor, but it has not been completely solved. Many children have been killed or injured while working in unsafe factories for centuries now. A huge accomplishment made by the Industrial revolution was equality by sex and race. During the Industrial revolution many countries banned slavery and after the industrial revolution every country outlawed slavery. The last country to outlaw slavery was Mauritania in 1981. Slavery was banned in the United States by the Civil War (18611865). The Civil war almost tore one of the strongest and most influential countries we have today. African Americans gained the right to vote on February 3, 1870, by the 15th amendment. The Industrialization was the first time women were working outside of the house. Even though they were treated unfairly, it was a big step. In the 1860s England and the United States gave some rights to woman, but all adult woman did not get the right to vote until 1920 in the United States when the 19th amendment was passed and it banned state or federal restrictions on voting based on sex. In England on 1918 the Representation of the People Act 1918 was passed and it gave woman above the age of thirty the right to vote and run for parliament. Then on 1928, woman over the age of 21 were allowed to vote. There has been a humongous amount of progress to make equal rights for all sex and all races, but racism and sexism are still problems that exist today. The Industrial revolution caused many problems that affect our lives today, but it has also set precedents for us to follow. Without the Industrial Revolution trading and traveling globally wouldnt have been as fast and efficient as it is today. There wouldnt be massive factories mass producing goods as there is today. Without the Industrial revolution child labor, racism, and sexism wouldnt be as minimal as they are today.
Comment [H45]: are Comment [H46]: You can combine these two sentences to make them flow better. Comment [H47]: Try starting this sentence with another phrase to make it less repetitive. Comment [H48]: Add a comma here Comment [H44]: Insert a comma after revolution Comment [H42]: women Comment [H43]: Dont use this in an academic essay, its not professional enough Comment [H40]: women Comment [H41]: women Comment [H39]: when the 15th amendment was ratified Comment [H38]: due to Using the word made implies that it was just created, but these concepts existed before the Industrial Revolution

There also wouldnt be all the sanitary restrictions limiting air and water pollution from destroying our environment. The Industrial revolution may have been a dreadful time in history, but it still set up the world for how we know it today.

Ideas: Very good ideas overall! All your main points had good examples to illustrate them. Try adding a little more to your discussion on how the Industrial Revolution helped to combat slavery by discussing the civil rights movement. Organization: You did a good job addressing all the parts of your thesis throughout the paper. Voice: Sometimes your paper sounds a little bit mechanical, but you can make it sound better by varying the way you start your sentences in some of your paragraphs. Overall you did a good job of making it clear what you were personally trying to say using effective examples and organization. Word Choice: Your word choice was well done, but make sure to define any acronym before using it. Make sure not to use common slang-like words, as you are writing for an academic setting. Sentence Fluency: Overall your sentences flowed well and were able to capture ideas effectively. Try combining some of your sentences together where indicated in order to remove sentences that start with prepositions. Try forming more complex sentences instead of disjointing ideas with your sentences. Mechanics: Overall you need to work on your capitalization rules as well as some of your punctuation. Commas are missing in some areas, especially when dealing with prepositional phrases. One way to improve this is to read the paper aloud and highlight any areas that sound off, or are hard to read initially.

"Aspects of the Industrial Revolution in Britain." Industrial Revolution in Britain. University of Massachusetts, 2006. Web. 04 Mar. 2012. "Causes of the Industrial Revolution." The Industrial Revolution. Sea.ca, 7 Feb. 2003. Web. 03 Mar. 2012. "history of Europe." Encyclopdia Britannica. Encyclopdia Britannica Online. Encyclopdia Britannica Inc., 2012. Web. 03 Mar. 2012. "History of Slavery in America." Infoplease. Pearson Education. Web. 03 Mar. 2012. Industrial Revolution." Encyclopdia Britannica. Encyclopdia Britannica Online. Encyclopdia Britannica Inc., 2012. Web. 03 Mar. 2012. Montagna, Joseph A. "81.02.06: The Industrial Revolution." Yale University. Yale, 2012. Web. 03 Mar. 2012.