Its almost one month left before my first marathon; will i be ready to finish it or not?

i started running in mid-may last year (2010), just around the house at nite, almost embarrassed by the idea of me running, frightened every second by the idea of a Marlboro Reds chain-smoking, scotch drinking semi-overweight suburban dude running in shorts for a paltry 5 min of heavy panting and muscle spasms....Well things do change...I started with 1 km, then 2 km...and then a week later almost 3 km under my belt and it seemed glorious to be able to run 3 all km all by myself. It seemed that i was already half-way to achieve my spectacular and till then unattainable goal of reaching 10km....to backtrack a bit, only a few days earlier i decided on a spur of the moment and completely to be blamed on a google-imbued drunken lack of judgement decision to register online for the Athens Classic Marathon 10k Race taking place in November of 2010. I am not quite sure or remember why i did what i did, but once I did do that, I had to do the deeds to live up to this promissory registry to the 2500 years anniversary of the Classic Greek Marathon.....only the 10k race, mind you. So, 196 lb on the first day of running and 1.2 km in 9 min. Wow, good start...Second day, 3.3 km in 22 min and 194lb...and on and on like this for the next 3 weeks. Yes, I was finally running....still at nite though and still with a chip on my shoulder...but running. Then things stopped to a screeching halt...personal responsibilities and other obligations put a stop to my burgeoning plan of running 10k in a few months. After about 6 or 7 weeks, i was able to get back to it and run again; this time i was running outside on a football field during the day in the daylight for all to see my legs trying to catch up with my growling, sprawling googlish mind as it was making brainy notes and plans for how my heart, and muscles and blood oxygen will be lock, stock and loaded barrels ready for my race....August was making its presence felt and running became a nite affair again as the heat of the day shoot me back right into the darkness of shame and self-doubt. August was good to me though as I managed to run twice 10k without completely collapsing and in only 1 hour and 10 min. Hope springs eternal right into September and my running continued smoothly with 3 or 4 times a week running hard and getting into the zone of happiness and calmness. Then October came and things got serious...only one month left before my race....things got a bit flaky and me a bit nervous and anxious. Running did continue unabated. And the day came and all my training went out of the window as i couldnt sleep the nite before the race...in the morning I was a nervous wreck trying not to go to the bathroom more than 5 times before starting the race. Of course i started too fast, of course i couldnt listen to my music...the crowds were great and funny, people were talking to each other in all languages possible.....and we were off and running in a beautiful weather of sunny 10 degrees...One hour later, and only about 4 min ahead of the Greeces prime minister who was running the 10k as well, I reached the end of the race which i have to admit was spectacular. To understand and to believe it when i mean spectacular is to know only 2 facts: one is that idea of me running or for that matter doing any other exercise is anathema to my snobbish human being and so finishing some athletic official competition was like Tarkovsky realizing that Soviet Union was actually US disguised as Berlusconis Italy. The second and most significant fact is that the finish line is inside the old marble Stadium built for the first modern Olympics in 1896. Its a vision to enter that marble shining mass of people catcalling and supporting the other mass of runners. It makes you happy and emotional as

a teenage girl watching the last moments of the Titanic. You feel proud of yourself for no other reason that you finished in front of all these strangers inside this beautiful work of art Olympic stadium. And thats when overwhelmed with all these emotions, you suddenly feel like an athlete and decide that next year you will enter the stadium at the long end of an actual marathon race. Smart, isnt it? So, yes we start training for marathon races now...we buy the necessary clothes, read the necessary magazine and books, change our diet habits, join a gym, read more about the marathon etc.... Now back present day and running in training for marathon....42k. March 4, Saturday, Friday only 5km and weights lifting... Sunday trying for 15 km...25 km has been my longest so far...with 3 times hitting 20km....weekly mileage is 50 to 60 km....160 seems a whole different beast. with the 5km training periods i can experience with speed training...starting with 8, 9 and then constant running with 10 and 11...last 7 min even with 13 and 14 speed on friday...saturday less fast...my best time has been so far 26 min for 5km and 56 for 10km..based on these times and my training so far, i can expect to finish the marathon somewhere between 4:30 and 4:50 of everything goes well.... Sunday, march 06----10 km in less than 1 hour...not the best time but ok, giving that i am a bit under the water these days....headaches, little fever, throat pain, nose running...anyway, i did it....monday will take the day off....i discovered in the process NPR podcasts...are great when bored and lacking enthusiasm for running....nice getaway from all...running in that sense is sometimes, at least it feels sometimes as like any other chores in life...80% drag and turd, and then that 20 percent gets under your skin and makes all the rest worthwhile... So I run 5k, 10k, 20k and weight lifting and crunches and leg lifting and running outside and running inside on the treadmill...Running while listening to NPR shows, while listening to music, and especially the long runs inside on the treadmill, running while reading the New Yorker Magazine. Yes, thank you new yorker...you are the best combination of supple body easy to fold and flip on the treadmil while at the same time stable enough not to fall off the treadmill when this world athlete runs at higher speeds shaking the whole damn apparatus...Thank you New Yorker for your long and fascinating stories that make you lose track of time and forget for a while that youre running nonstop for 2 hours and still have at least another one to run and your legs and arms, and your lower back and the inside of your brain cells scream for you to stop but you do not, you keep going not because you need to finish this particular long run, but mainly because your need to know how this or that profile or long feature ends. So thank you new yorker for making my runs interesting, i am your loyal and faithul reader and the only one ever to read you inside a Greek gym and i believe with certainty that i will stay the only one for a long, long time....

You also start losing weight which by the way helps a lot with the speed thingie. You lose about 20 lbs. and running is lighter and easier...and then you get lighter with changing the shoes and buying the new Nike Free. And these days, you run only with the Free...great, light shoes.....thank you Nike....i also run in your shorts and t-shirts and socks....kind of stuck with you, nike.... Unfortunately, with one month left before the marathon, it seems that i hit a psychological wall so to speak. It just seems hard to enjoy the runs, am not looking forward anymore to the high that i used to get while running, i dont miss that wonderful portion of the run when it seems that you are in the zone---running in a state of very bearable lightness of being--and actually in the last few weeks i stopped getting the high completely. It is possible that i am experiencing a mission creep. Maybe i am spending too much time in the gym, maybe running only inside in the last month or so, maybe running everyday with only one day rest per week, maybe all these new developments, maybe running in the winter as opposed to running in spring when i first started running, maybe, maybe...all these maybes must mean something because i do feel a little demoralized and the all excitement of running my first marathon has evaporated. Maybe, oh, again this word, but it is so convenient....so, maybe i just need to develop a new approach; a more scientific one, something that can be tested and adjusted along the way, something that can be considered a challenge to overcome; i just dont feel that i am getting better, and it seems that my improvement in speed and fatigue resistance has hit a plateau. Besides my long runs, my weekly training schedule has been a bit unorthodox, a combination of interval training and Hal Higdon's training guide mixed in with gym training. For example, I run 5k almost everyday at different speeds, starting with 8km/h for 2 min, then go up to 10km/h for a longer portion of the run, and then dependent on how i tired i feel that day, i can easily go up to 11km/h and comfortably 11.5..and finish the run with 13km/h and once in a while even more, like 14km/h. This means that I run at a Threshold Pace of heart rate max somewhere between 162-170 for about 15 min, two to four min of Marathon Pace of HRM between 148-166, and then for anywhere between 2 to 4 min i can ran at Interval Pace of 180 heart rate max. With this combination i managed so far the fastest 5km in 26 min and the 10k in 56 min. Every other day I ran 10k, but i had a couple of weekends that for different reasons i couldnt do the long runs. Honestly, some of the long runs have been extremely punishing, physically and psychologically, testing my commitment to this project few times along the way. But you have to persevere and find different motivational sources of inspiration. For me is talking and asking advice from a friend who has done the marathon not too long ago. Another source of information and comfort and i might say even inspiration is the book Lore of Running.....absolute the bible of running; it has everything all the way from the science of running to the art of running. Its a must read for anyone wanting to pursue this hobby. Why run though? Ive always been jealous of people running and even these days when i go to the local park and i see people running around me i still feel jealous and catch myself thinking ah, how i wish to do that someday, they look so happy and content and full of goals, their faces glowing with a mission-accomplished look....but i am running for almost a year now.....i am doing this...so why do i still feel as an outsider? I think i need to finish my first marathon to consider myself a runner, to feel that l belong. i think i need to lose some more weight, i think i need to run faster, at least to feel comfortable running for 5 or

10 min at least with 14-15 km/h, thats when i can consider myself a runner. back to the daily grind... March 08 Went to the gym and ran without music, without TV, and without the New Yorker....though sick like a dog I managed 5km in 27:20 min and I actually enjoyed it; a small but significant step on my training hill. I think there is high time to go back to running outside, enjoy some fresh air, see the sky...no more running in the gym...except maybe the next 2 days and then out again...changes in the training and environment are quite important, variety pays off.... and today i registered for the november 13th athens marathon...my second one....so i am officially registered to run 2 of them this year. March 09 Planning to run 10k today at the gym inside at it is very cold and ice/snow outside. See if how it is to do it without magazines and shit... and I did it in 60.20h....still sick though, so all in all a good time and i actually enjoyed it...and it seems that i finally broke through the weight barrier as i was stuck at 178lbs. for 3 weeks and it just wouldnt bulge down at all....but this morning it finally went to 176lbs and it looks like i am on track of reaching 170lbs. before the marathon. March 10 30 days till M-day...and break today as i feel exhausted....one day off to celebrate one month till the race...and march 11...better run a long one on saturday morning... March 12 20 km with nose running but ok overall in 2h8:30min....176lbs before and 173.8lbs after 20km running and after 1liter water and 500ml powerade.... need 40-80 g carbo-hydrates per hour....mmm...on 500ml powerade has only about 24 g meaning i would need to drink about 2 bottles per 10km...almost 8 bottles for the marathon race...seems a lot...i need to find a better source of carbo-hydrates during race..bananas i think have 21g per 100g...sound a bit easier and doable thank drinking 8 bottles...i am used in training to drink one bottle per 10km....the thing that i need to do is to start drinking the powerade before i get tired, before muscle fatigue sets in, which means around 10-12km of the race from start.... i need to run my long runs...i need to run almost everyday 10 km and forget about gym/weight loss in the next 3 weeks or so...time to concentrate on long runs to get my body used to the weight and all and not hit the wall too soon or not develop cramps too soon... break voluntarily on sunday the 13th, and unplanned one on monday, but back on tuesday baby, March 15, with 15km in 91 min....and only water drinking...happy to be back running after a 2 day hiatus and without much pain or effort during or after running....slowly getting better....still have major questions about my running form; i think i spend too much energy

bobbing left and right, cant seem to find my proper rhythm....March 16...10k in 58.58min....getting a bit easier to run long distances...starting to enjoy more and more..... getting closer to the first marathon and my feelings and expectations about it have hardened a tiny bit....worried that i wont be able to finish it, that am no way ready for 40km of running; need to accept the fact that at some point i might just have to walk a bit portion of the race, especialy after the 30km mark...anxious about running after 25km, hitting the wall and all or getting muscle spasms and not being able to finish... Friday nite i did ran 20km in 2.8 hours, thats March 18 with HRmax at 175 at the end of the run. No running either Saturday or Sunday....feel very, very, very guilty about it as i am approaching my race and suddenly i gained 6 lbs. in one weekend...cant screw things up so badly with only 3 weeks to go, i just cant...have to get back on track....from reading over the weekend about training for the first marathon, i should be ok with i have done so far even though i do not feel ready at all and feel like a failure and in the worst physical shape ever for such a long run....but i am thinking that worst comes to worst, i ran the 150-180 min i know i can run for sure, then walk a bit, 5 or 10 min to recover and stretch a bit and then run for another 5-8 km and then walk a bit again to finish running...or alternatively or maybe including small breaks every 10km for stretching, drinking, eating, bathroom breaks etc...will see, just afraid of the wall thingie that i keep hearing and think i hit it only once before in my lifetime...hard to overcome it though with a bit of walking i do believe its possible to finish the race, and even finish it on a strong note.....at least this weekend, i might not have run, but i am almost done with the book and went shopping for the last things that were needed for the race i.e. belt, headphones...guess you can say that i ran intellectually, which in my case is as good as it gets sometimes or i should say as important as the actual physical training as if i do not find an intellectual challenge in running, i would get bored very easily...as they say, running is like biking and sex, once you learn how to do it you and your body will never forget how to do it even after a long, long time of inactivity...your subconscious is trained/shaped and ready to go when the time comes. I sure hope this is right when the time comes on april 10.... March 21 12km running with 2- 200m sprints at 16km/h....and felt good, not tired..even able to feel like running longer without a slight feeling of tiredness....and even after the run at home later, no muscles sores, no bones sores....felt very light on my feet...March 22 ran 10km with one sprint at 16km/h for 100m and finished 1:01h.... getting worried that i will not have what i need with me; Need to write down a list of things to have with me in my belt pockets during the race: band aids for my nipples breathing bands for my nose tissue/paper gel/banana or cookie bar with lots of sugar my heart thingie/watch my ipod with shows to listen to cell phone bottle of isotonic drink

muso-ril ---muscle pain medicine zirtek for allergies sun glasses for running?????arnette burner 4063/94 euro

march 23 break with no running, will go today, march 24 for 5,7 km with sprints at 16km/h; will see how it goes and then friday outside running....indeed i ran 5km in 26.4 min....with 2 sprints each 2 min at 16km/h..very happy with the pace... Saturday and Sunday, March 26, 27.... went outside finally for running after a few months...it was great running in the sun while listening to NPR jazz documentaries....great, really great...10k both days in less than an hour....very happy finally as I missed running outside; think i also found a 20k path for running up in the mountain...love spring/summer for running..aha, yeah..definitely no black t-shirt during the race...all the sun and heat attached to me like bees to honey..will def. run wearing the blue athens classic marathon t-shirt and shorts...maybe a cheap, expendable sweater to discard at the start line... March 28...went to the gym for a quickie and hit 5km in 25min, my best time so far ever..but for some reason i am not losing the weight i was planning to before the marathon...am actually kind of gaining a bit which is not good at all so close to the race...damn it! 176lbs tonite...to go back to the weight thingie; kind had a shock with this sudden and unexpected weight gain...and i think its due to the newest fashion and passion for home-made orange juice and banana-strawberrymilk smoothie...these are heavy, full-choke of calories and obviously weight gainers, damn it....why am i experimenting with new diets just before the race?..stupid, stupid....now i need to lose 7 lbs. in one week... March 29, I will try to run 10 k tonite.....no luck though, bad stomach pain stopped me from running after only 2km...the good news is that i seem to have the upper-hand again in the fight against my weight...last 6lbs. to lose before the race....you can do it...its just a matter of setting goals and having the discipline to follow through and so far ive been able to keep up running and approaching the one year milestone since i started running.... March 30 went running inside the gym for 10k in less than an hour...first 32.5 min for 5km at 9.5km/h...with heart rate at maximum 140 and the second half at 10.1km/h for 3km with heart rate at max 150...and the rest with a bit of sprints of 16, 15km/h and a few min. of running at 12.5, 13 km/h...all in all, a good hour of running...happy with the weight as well...4lbs. to lose as of Thursday morning...the problem lays with the weekend when too much food is finding its way into my mouth inevitably....have to be very, very careful this weekend as it is the last one before the race..need to keep the momentum going... April 1...10k inside, not bad...april 2.....10k inside...not bad...fast approaching...april 3...outside 10k and testing the gu gels...all ok and fun...last few days just running a little bit and testing different foods/gels/bars....and making music lists on my ipod, including the song everybody is free to use sun lotion as inspirational device for later in the race when i am tired and in need of a push....april 4, just a bit of running inside...few more days left... april 5 break from running...april 6 hopefully 10k and then thursday last time a 5k run before leaving for salonika and the race on sunday....yeap, 10k ran inside in less than an hour...good pace, easy breathing...this is how i need to start the race...first 10k at the pace of 9 or 9.5 km/h with no music at the beginning to soak in the surrounding environment and then jass like

coltrane or davis to keep me going at a slow, easy pace till 25 km then a bit of high spirit/cheesy disco music to keep me up and running....last day of running was today thursday, april 7 before the sunday race....only 5.5km outside just to get some under my belt and on my legs...now packing all the shit i think i need for the race....hehehe. I think i got everything ready to go tomorrow for salonika.... so i finished it, my first marathon....all in all, it was an inspiring event. The course was completely unspectacular, open road with no shade, lots of wind and strong sun and nothing to look at, but nonetheless it was my first marathon. A small one by any standards with only about 700 runners...the start was very slow and the race was ok till the 30k mark...after that was a bitch...my ankles especially absolutely killed me and I am not sure if this wasn't my own fault as i decided to run the race in Nike free shoes, very light but minimal support to the ankles i think...other than that i had a cramp too on my right foot but all in well i was happy i didn't stop much, just a couple of times for stretching, and ran 99% of the time...finished though in 4:44 but again think i made the mistake of starting way too slow...ran the first 20k very, very slow strategically with the idea of making it up at the end, but at the end my legs were shot and couldn't run too fast...need to work on my beginning pace, think i could have finished comfortably in 4:20 if not for my first 20k. My time for the first 21.1 km was 2:21h and my time for the last 2.21km was 2:23h. My usual training pace, a comfortable one, is about 2:00h for 20km so i think i could have done better, maybe even something closer to 4:10hours. I did eat lots of banana, one gel and drank almost 2 powerade bottles along the way and at least one liter of water; that it itself was manageable and without problems; as well as my heart rate, never went much beyond 150-160 range except for the last 5 km or so when i tried to make up for the lost time at the beginning. Finishing was very nice indeed as the last few km passed by so slowly, the time seemed to have stopped in the salonika tracks, every km seemed like 10 km....while at the beginning, the first 3.5km went so fast i had no idea how to it happened...music didnt help much at the end of the day...the only thing that really helped is talking to people running along side, especially the ones who were running either the first or second marathon...that was a welcome distraction indeed....the first 26km are a breeze so to speak, no pain, no effort, they go pretty fast and are quite enjoyable...although at some point while running on the highway and all by yourself with some people in front and some behind you, far but close enough you feel them in the corner of your eyes, you start wondering and questioning yourself as to what in earth are we doing; it just seems ridiculous to see people running slowly and purposefully looking but really for no discerning reason other than finishing 42.2 km of grueling pain and self-punishment. Well, maybe thats the real reason for running, moral and especially physical punishment for some unspeakable acts committed in the past or maybe for acts or decisions not taken--the roads less travelled- or maybe to build confidence in yourself through running to take those long-postponed decisions that you keep avoiding....punishment for paths not yet taken. Running a marathon is both a punishment for the past and a hopeful new start for the future sandwiching between them a grueling and tough 4hours of running present. But its all worth it in the end. So, please go run a marathon!