(A) The Unsatisfied Monk A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head

monk. The head monk said: "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" , the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!", the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "I quit!" , said the man.

"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!" (B) It's the Same Every Day! Mr. Smith lived in the country, but he worked in an office in the big city, so five days a week he went to work by train every morning and came home the same way. One morning he was reading his newspaper on the train when a man sitting behind him, who Mr. Smith had never met before, leaned forward, tapped him on the shoulder and spoke to him. The man said, "You're not leading a very interesting life, are you? You get on the same train at the same station at the same time every morning, and you always sit in the same seat and read the same newspaper."

Mr. Smith put his paper down, turned around, and said to the man angrily, "How do you know all that about me?" "Because I'm always sitting in this seat behind you," the man answered. (C) Flowers Sent to the Wrong Place For a long time Dr. Jackson had wanted to get a permanent job in a certain big modem hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to the particular position which he wanted, and he and his wife moved to the house which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were delivered to them, with a note which said, 'Deepest sympathy'. Naturally, Dr. Jackson was annoyed to receive such an extraordinary note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find out what

the note meant. When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Jackson for having made the mistake. 'But what really worries me much more,' he added, 'is that the flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a funeral, with a card which said, "Congratulations on your new position".' (D) The Family Car Hank lived in a small town, but then he got a job in a big city and moved there with his wife and his two children. On the first Saturday in their new home, Hank took his new red car out of the garage and was washing it when a neighbor came by. When he saw Hank's new car, the neighbor stopped and looked at it for a minute. Then Hank turned and saw him.

The neighbor said," That's a nice car. Is it yours?" "Sometimes", Hank answered. The neighbor was surprised. "Sometimes?" he said, "What do you mean?" "Well", answered Hank slowly, "When there's a party in town, it belongs to my daughter, Jane. When there's a football game somewhere, it belongs to my son, Joe. When I've washed it, and it looks really nice and clean, it belongs to my wife. And when it needs gas it's mine."