Alcala, Vera C.

MC1022 The Real Definition of Loner Have you ever experienced being inside a crowded room, where everyones busy chatting and laughing with each other, happily exchanging stories? After a few minutes, you realized that you are being left out. Then all of a sudden, you found yourself in a corner with no one to talk to. Because of this, you will immediately think of yourself as a loner. Loners, as most of us understood, have no companions, are weirdos, and those people that are not socially accepted. But when I tried to search on Google what loner means to fully understand the word, Wikipedia defined it as, A person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction or prefers to be alone. I remember this friend of mine from college, Mary, 17, the so-called loner in our class. Though she has a few friends, still most of the time we spot her alone. When we still belong in one section, I always wonder how her everyday living is. Then I have got the chance to interview her since I want this topic to become my article. I approached her and began with the question, Uh, Mary, uhm, may I interview you? Diba, aware ka namang, uhm, loner ka? If you noticed, my question is full of uhms and uhs, because I was afraid Mary might feel hurt if I say the word, loner. But she answered me with a smile on her face, Oo naman, sure. Then I found out that she admits that she really is a loner and is not ashamed of it. Proud naman ako kung ano ako ngayon eh, kung loner man ako, proud ako. Mary says. She told me the whole story of why did she became a loner. In her high school years, she used to be a part of a barkada, and she is that typical girl making friends with others. But then, little by little she noticed that she is being left behind in her group. She was also even betrayed

twice by her friends. But then she did not perceive it negatively, instead she made it her inspiration to become independent, and that is how she defines herself today. As she continued sharing, I learned from her that there actually are advantages of being a loner. Like what she mentioned, she can do whatever she wants with no one looking at her. She also stressed out that the best advantage is being independent. Ako na nagsasabi non, kasi nga hindi mo na kailangan mag-rely sa iba. She shared. So this means that her being a loner is not because she is not socially accepted, but it is for a purpose. Still, she does make friends with others, but not the barkada type. She says she can be with anyone. Kaya ko naman, wala akong particular na grupo, pero pag hindi ko kayang sakyan yung mga pinag-uusapan nila, madalas tahimik lang ako, kaya mas gusto ko na lang mag-isa. Mary says. Though she is proud of being a loner, still she also told me some disadvantages. One of them is that since she is frequently alone, people might think that she is crazy, or they might think of something negative about her. I also became curious of how does she feel whenever she hears someone saying she is a loner. She said she does not mind them because she is proud of being a loner and she does not deny it. Mary even said that one should not be affected with what others may think of him or her. Magiging prisoner ka ng utak mo pag iniisip mo yun. She said. After Mary has shared her experiences, I found out that not all people want to have a companion with them. Some do not need others to rely to. They can work with themselves and solve problems on their own. I salute Mary for being one of those kinds of people. I also learned that some loners are not being loners because they are not accepted by people. Instead, they are the ones who initiate not to go with a bunch of people for their own reasons. So let us put that negative meaning away from our minds and think of it as a positive one. So whenever you feel like you are being left behind, you have two options to do: you may approach and socialize with others, or you may just enjoy being alone. Let us stop thinking

of being alone negatively. Instead, let us tell ourselves that we can stand alone with our own feet and do everything we want freely. Who knows? We might become stronger because of that.