VAASTU BLAMED FOR THE DISMAL PERFORMANCE OF TITANS

Cost: Priceless HACIENDAS HIGHLY IRREGULAR DAILY Edition 08, Oct 3 2012

TRI-VOLLEY TALKIES

Printed At: Commons Press

-Special Report

Sunnyvale: For the first time in 4 tournaments, The TPS Titans did not make it through the league stage in the Manavta volleyball tournament. The dismal performance in the tournament was squarely blamed by captain Srini on the Vaastu of the ground.

"First and foremost, we should change the name from Titans to Tughlak. The name itself has 'luck' in it which we are in desperate need of. And this also suits the team because the captain was changed all of a sudden just the way king Tughlaq changed his capital." Continuing after a brief restroom break which went for quite a long time, he said, "Henceforth, we will perform rituals in the ground with drums, candles and bells. Very importantly, we will perform 'ground pooja' by digging the court of opponent after the toss. Anyway, we have an expert digger in our CMD. These should appease the Gods and Goddesses. If not, it will definitely irritate the opponents. This sure is to change the tide in our way in the future." "We did a good job. In fact, I was batting very well." said Chemical Abhi attracting confused reaction from our reporter."Oh,by the way, I meant I was batting very well at Peacock restaurant. Food was awesome. You should also go there" he clarified quickly. Captain Srini was seen reading the bill for a long time and it looked like he had paid the price for Abhis batting. The silver lining amidst the whole fiasco is that now TPS is planning to up the ante soon. "All we needed was an excuse and we have a perfect one now" said a beaming Anand V, the Chief Mailer Demon of TPS. "You can see us in action soon in the Advanced categories fighting it out in the same style"

"They should have placed the net aligned to the NE-SW direction instead of how they were" cried Srini. "Also", he continued with tears in his eyes, "The organizers started the game around 915 AM which was the 'Rahu kaalam period, which on Saturday is between 9 and 1030 AM. It proved highly inauspicious to us. It was so bad that we had to wait for 45 minutes for our first game." There were very high hopes on the team to bring home a trophy as this was the last tournament of the year. But unfortunately, the team could not fight against the "Grahas" (stars and planets). Apparently, the placement of the sun was not at a correct position. It was right above in the sky. Also the other planets were way too far except 'Shani'(Saturn) which was crossing the court # 2 in which the Titans were playing. The team is said to have contacted a renowned numerologist in the immediate aftermath of the tournament results and it has also come to light that there are going to be huge changes in the team structure. Talking to our reporter about the future plans of Titans, Veteran player and former captain Das said,

TPS CONSIDERS IMPOSING BAN ON DOGS IN CREEKSIDE PARK

-Local correspondent
Pleasanton: Sources say that TPS was considering on imposing a ban on Dogs in the Creekside park during the volleyball hours after a freak incident. The issue started when a little chihuaha became an instant celebrity when it beat the life out of the powerful spiker**, Abhi, on one of the game days. Reports say that as part of the regular Go-get-the-ball process during a game, Abhishek, who started in the direction of the ball suddenly stopped in his tracks in silence. In a short while, he was seen running faster than he had ever run till then. On further questioning, it came to light that Abhi had seen a little dog under leash sitting quietly quite some distance away and he was frozen scared at the sight of the tiny canine. On hearing the news Abhis Runaway act, the entire TPS was LOL-ing and ROFL-ing. When contacted, an emotional and visibly crying Abhi told our reporters that Dogs should not be allowed in public parks even if they are leashed. Of course, I get scared. They outrun me in a fraction of a second! continued Abhi as he recollected a traumatic incident during his school days. When our reporter tried to extract that story, he was beaten black and blue and made to run for his life. We have received complaints about the dogs in the Creekside park, said the one and only CMD, Anand. There was also an earlier instance where Sathish was playing Dog and the Volleyball with a much bigger one. We are looking into the issue. Based on eyewitness accounts, our editorial team was able to come up with the gory picture of the incident which is given below.

**Conditions apply

FROM THE EDITORS BROKEN DESK

Hello folks! Thanks for being a loyal reader of the TVT over the last so many years even though the editions started a few months ago. Since inception, we have been doing a noble job of leg pulling for free. Due to economic crisis at the press, we have decided to introduce Advertisement section in TVT for all the items which you think are useless to you. It may be your iPhone, S3 or even your toothbrush. So do not wait anymore. Bring it in TVT and we will put it in the dustbin for you! And Like always, keep sending in your comments and feedback. I guarantee that nothing will be done to change anything. And if you are an online addict, you can leave your comments at our site as well. Again, nothing will be done based on your comments http://tpstvt.blogspot.com/ Until next time, Adios!