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Jesup, Georgia 31545

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

75

Big Joe, the milkman, was tough and funny

When I was 10, my best friend was Schwinn. Not really. Actually, Schwinn made the bike that got me to my best friends house. I couldnt wait to pedal two miles out the DINK Waycross NeSMITH Highway to Chairman Phelps Dairy. Joe and I took turns spending the night at each others house. We had to tiptoe at NeSmith Funeral Home. But at the dairy, we could romp and not worry about raising the dead. Big Joes father founded Phelps Dairy in Waycross, and his son ran the Jesup distribution center. Big Joe was a mans man. Today, he would have been called a Navy Seal. During World War II, he was a frogman. He was tough and funny. I loved to be around Big Joe. Hed take Joe and me hunting and fishing. He loved to tease me. He was a perpetual high-jinks machine. His laugh could raise the dead. Joe was stocky. I was skinny. Joe wanted to lose weight. I wanted to find what he lost. I had an idea. Mr. Phelps, I asked, could I buy some of that milkshake mix that you sell to the Dairy Queen? Why? he asked. I want to gain weight. Thinking I had found a secret formula to bulk up my wormy-looking frame for football, I gulped down a half-gallon of the rich-in-eggs-and-Lord-knowswhat mixture. My plumbing thought I had swallowed a cherry bomb. I probably lost five pounds. I can still hear Big Joe laughing. In the 1950s, my mother brought home a waxed carton of Brand X. Oh, no, we cant drink that, I said. But the store was out of Phelps milk, she said. Please dont make me drink that, I begged. Why? she asked. Because, I protested, Mr. Phelps

My Opinion
MMM

said Starland will make you go blind. Begrudgingly, I drank the Starland milk from Savannah. But several years later, in the seventh grade, our teacher gave us eye tests. When my turn came, Mrs. Nanelle Bacon screeched, Good Lord, son, you are blind! Tell your mama to get you some glasses. I told Mother that I needed glasses. When she acted surprised, I reminded her, I warned you. Mr. Phelps said that Starland milk would make me go blind. And when I told Big Joe that story at the supper table, he laughed so hard, I thought Phelps milk was going to squirt out his nose. Big Joe was a popular man with the football team. When we were at summer camp in the backside of nowhere in Long County, he made daily runs to Jimmy Parkers hunting camp, where we were sequestered from the bright lights. Wed chug glass jugs of milk-truck lemonade under the shade trees of Parkers

Founded in the early 1900s, Phelps Dairy was a southeast Georgia institution, making home deliveries of milk and dairy products. Joe Phelps, second from left in top photo, was Jesups popular milkman for his fathers dairy. The Jesup distribution center was on the Waycross Highway, across from what is now Kmart Plaza. Joes wife, Jeanette, at left, is with Joe Jr. and the family dog, Rusty. Joes brothers are Harold and David. Harold Pa Phelps, Big Joes father, sold his dairy to Pet in 1959. Paradise. Almost daily, a player or two would beg for a ride back to Wayne County across the river. Son, hed say, I would, but your daddy would bring you back before bedtime. After 60 years, Joe and I are still best buddies. Saturday night, we were watching a football game and reminiscing about his dad. I retold the it-will-make-you-go-blind story. And Joe repeated the classic Big Joe caper about a country store deciding to sell Phelps milk exclusively. The proprietor told Big Joe to haul off and dispose of the competing brand. When Big Joe saw his friend who drove the Starland truck, he teased, I took some of your milk and fed it to my hunting dogs. The Starland man asked, How did they like it? It was awful, Big Joe quipped. My dogs had to lick their behinds to get the bad taste out of their mouths. dnesmith@cninewspapers.com