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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide

Written by Laura in passive aggressive

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Oh, I thought it might be because you didnt say anything about my last blog post. See what I did there? That was passive aggressive. It was my way of saying, Did you read my last blog post? If you did, tell me you liked it. And if you havent read it, please do. And then tell me you liked it. Passive Aggressive is a very handy language. It allows you to get what you want, or express your feelings, without being disliked or rejected. Well, actually, you might be disliked or rejected because people are on to you and how annoying you are, so it doesnt really work. But here are some other examples of how you can use it: Want to say, I dont like you and never will? That will never fly. Instead, try mispronouncing the persons name again and again, no matter how many times they correct you. If its Goldstein, pronounced gold-stine, always pronounce it gold-steen. Or, even more effective: try calling them by the wrong name altogether, and turning them into an ape. Endora, Samanthas mother on Bewitched, perfected this technique. Want to say Im attracted to you and Id like a date with you? Dont. What if they say no? Instead, try breaking into their house and pooping on their bed. It will send the person a mixed message, so they cant accuse you of having the hots for them. As you can see, passive aggressive comes in many flavors. To make it easy, Ive broken them down into subcategories, along with examples.

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Aw. I blush.
Laura is sharp, witty, and hilarious. She has an innate feel for what flows and what reads well. I can't recommend her highly enough, she definitely has a magical power for making things lively, fun and compelling - which is incredibly important if you want copy for your business that will keep customers around! LAURA ROEDER, Founder, LKR Media

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Heres my handy guide to 11 main styles of passive aggressive, along with essential phrases (translated into English).
So you can become more fluent, or understand someone else who is.

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1. Passive Imposing
TECHNIQUE: Dropping hints in order to ask for something without asking for it. Or, requesting something in the form of an offer. PHRASES: Hows your linguine? Or: Wow, you hardly made a dent in your linguine. Are you done already?

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

I want to try your linguine. Do you know of any low-cost hotels near you? I want to stay at your house while Im in town. Hey, if you feel like it, how about vacuuming a little? I want you to vacuum. Whether you feel like it or not. An early Father's Day card: 1 of the many reasons I love my dad.

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2. Passive Resentful
TECHNIQUE: Expressing hurt or pissed-off-ness with a benign question or a smile. PHRASES: Hey, did you get the birthday gift I sent you in October? I checked the tracking number and apparently it was delivered, but Im worried someone else signed for it and it never got to you. You never thanked me for my birthday gift. Its so funny that you would buy a new Louis Vuitton bag when you owe me a thousand dollars. Im not mad, I just think its hilarious. Oh, Im mad. Did you have trouble getting here? Youre ridiculously late. So, are you having a really small wedding? How come you didnt invite me to your wedding?

Type Here To Search, Then Press Enter

3. Passive Bragadocious
TECHNIQUE: Boasting by quoting someone elses compliment within a total non-story, or by embedding the boast in a supposedly interesting fact. PHRASES: Oh my god, this guy last night was hitting on me so hard. He was like, you have the most amazing body, can I have your phone number? He was so pathetic. It was really funny. Or: I was trying on these jeans in the store and the sales girl was like, you should be a model. I was like, oookayyyy. Whatever. Im so fucking hot. And other people think so, too. George Clooney is actually a really cool guy. So down to earth. I know George Clooney!

4. Passive Insecure
TECHNIQUE: Fishing for compliments. An oldie but goodie. PHRASE: Oh my god, I look so gross today. Dont I look purty? Say I do.

5. Passive Irritated/ Passive Disgusted (strangers version)

TECHNIQUE: Giving a bewildered, startled, bemused, or even admiring look when someone does something irritating or outrageously gross. PHRASES: Whoa! What was that? [While whipping head around every few seconds as though newly startled.] Your public nose-blowing is both jarringly loud and grotesque. Withering look , combined with hand fanning air in front of nose. I know that fart came from you, guy in seat 32 C. Eyebrows raised in mock -impressed, Wow expression as shopper in supermark et cuts you off to beat you to the register. Youre an asshole who contributes nothing to society, and dont pretend you didnt deliberately cut me off. Excuse me, I think you dropped something! I picked up your litter, which I know you purposely dropped on the curb, in order to shame you. So, shame on you.

6. Passive Irritated/ Passive Disgusted (friend/ acquaintance version)

TECHNIQUE: Using an innocent, or faux-helpful question to disguise disapproval.

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PHRASES:

11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

Should I pick up those socks? I didnt know if they were on the floor because you planned to wear them again Youre a slob, and yes, I do mind cleaning up after you. Hows your apartment search going? When are you going to leave my couch?

7. Passive Impatient
TECHNIQUE: Pretending youre concerned or just curious when you just want someone to hurry the f*ck up. PHRASES: Are you okay in there? Other people want to use the bathroom! What are you doing, taking a shit? Hey, just checking in because you hadnt returned my phone call and I was worried something happened to you. Call me back, dickhead.

8. Passive Insulting
TECHNIQUE: Using false praise or a question to hide a total dis. PHRASES: Do you still work out? Looks like you stopped working out. Youre so brave, singing in front of other people. You have a shitty singing voice. Id have such a hard time being single. You handle it really well. I feel sorry for you that you dont have a boyfriend. Thats such a fun, colorful sweater! Thats such a hideous sweater.

9. Passive Corrective
TECHNIQUE: Feigning dumbness to show superior smartness. PHRASE: Oh wait, is it en-dick-ted? I always thought it was pronounced en-die-ted. You pronounced that word wrong, fool.

10. Passive Defensive

TECHNIQUE: Apologizing to say that you dont owe an apology. PHRASE: Im really sorry if you took what I said the wrong way. I said nothing wrong, and youre an over-sensitive wuss.

11. Passive Depressive

TECHNIQUE: Fishing for sympathy. PHRASE: Facebook status: [NAME] has had it. Had it with what? Ask me! Ask me!

Whats missing? Id like to hear from you.

Passive Agressive is a living language, changing all the time. So please contribute your favorite styles and phrases, below. In other words: Do you feel like leaving a comment?

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120 Responses to 11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide

Edmundo Braverman
January 25, 2011 | 3:20 pm

Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:31 pm

Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being nice. Reply

Rich
September 2, 2011 | 5:40 am

I have to say that us Brits are all mostly very passive aggressive. Wed rather be polite than obnoxious. I live in the USA now and I see many Americans as active aggressive. While its very direct to be this way it can be very annoying to have someone inyour-face about everything they do not like. How about just keeping it to yourself? I say if you cant say something positive dont say anything at all. But Im a Brit. What do I know. Thx for an interesting post. Reply

cheryl
November 1, 2012 | 7:26 pm

I am an American living in the UK with a passive agressive husband. Although I find this site funny and interesting, there is a serious side to it all. Due to my husbands PA nature, I am leaving him and going back home where the agressive people are easier to read as they are in your face. You Brits lay down, take it and carry on.No chance Reply

Rich
November 1, 2012 | 8:17 pm

cheryl Im curious, are you leaving your husband because hes PA or just because you dont want to be with him period? Oddly enough I have just left my American wife but not because shes PA (because she can be at times). A question if I may. My sister, who also lives over here in the US, is criticized for being PA. Yet when she is AA (active aggressive) people thinks shes being obnoxious. I have the exact same experience. I guess us Limeys have to learn how to be AA in a way that is acceptable over here? Teach me please? BTW I think we all have a little PA in us at times. Have fun Reply

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Anonymous
January 25, 2011 | 3:20 pm

Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:31 pm

Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being nice. Reply

Emily
January 25, 2011 | 3:36 pm

NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder! Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:32 pm

What, you didnt want to stay friends with her? She sounds great! Reply

Emily
January 25, 2011 | 3:36 pm

NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder! Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:32 pm

What, you didnt want to stay friends with her? She sounds great! Reply

Jess Webb
January 25, 2011 | 4:14 pm

LOL well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as Ive certainly heard most of those. Sadly, Ive even uttered some myself on occasion. :/ Thanks for the chuckle! Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:33 pm

Thanks, Jess. Yes, Ill admit, some of those came right from my own mouth. Reply

Jess Webb
January 25, 2011 | 4:14 pm

LOL well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as Ive certainly heard most of those. Sadly, Ive even uttered some myself on occasion. :/ Thanks for the chuckle! Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:33 pm

Thanks, Jess. Yes, Ill admit, some of those came right from my own mouth. Reply

Alejandro Snchez M.
January 25, 2011 | 4:43 pm

Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

What? Im not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, go google Acid House? Reply

Alejandro Snchez M.
January 25, 2011 | 4:43 pm

Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

What? Im not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, go google Acid House? Reply

Sandra
January 25, 2011 | 5:05 pm

Wow, its so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

Oh snap, thats a good one. You are fluent. Reply

Sandra
January 25, 2011 | 5:05 pm

Wow, its so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

Oh snap, thats a good one. You are fluent. Reply

Theresa
January 25, 2011 | 5:14 pm

Hilarious! Love it Laura Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:51 pm

Thanks, Theresa. Reply

Theresa
January 25, 2011 | 5:14 pm

Hilarious! Love it Laura Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:51 pm

Thanks, Theresa.

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Julie Millett
January 25, 2011 | 5:16 pm

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, Im sorry is it indicktment?) that rings so true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 11 types I think Ive heard more than Ive said. I obviously need to step it up. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:36 pm

You do need to step up to the plate. Dont let anyone beat you at being passive aggressive. Reply

Julie Millett
January 25, 2011 | 5:16 pm

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, Im sorry is it indicktment?) that rings so true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 11 types I think Ive heard more than Ive said. I obviously need to step it up. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:36 pm

You do need to step up to the plate. Dont let anyone beat you at being passive aggressive. Reply

Ann
January 25, 2011 | 5:43 pm

Um I dont really have anything left to say. Really. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:38 pm

Hey, Im not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging. Reply

Ann
January 25, 2011 | 5:43 pm

Um I dont really have anything left to say. Really. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:38 pm

Hey, Im not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging. Reply

Amanda
January 25, 2011 | 6:13 pm

Im so glad you posted a blog today. I was going to email you and ask if you forgot that you are supposed to amuse me on a semi-daily basis. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:40 pm

I must have forgotten, because I dont think Ive ever reached the semi-daily level of output. Ill have to pick up the pace dont want you to get the shakes. Reply

Amanda
January 25, 2011 | 6:13 pm

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Im so glad you posted a blog today. I was going to email you and ask if you forgot that you are supposed to amuse me on a semi-daily basis. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:40 pm

I must have forgotten, because I dont think Ive ever reached the semi-daily level of output. Ill have to pick up the pace dont want you to get the shakes. Reply

Nicole
January 25, 2011 | 7:13 pm

Theres also the passive aggressive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roommates), so as to not deal with people in real life ever. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:42 pm

Yes, Id say technology has made it way easier to be passive aggressive, but maybe the invention of the post-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point. Reply

Nicole
January 25, 2011 | 7:13 pm

Theres also the passive aggressive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roommates), so as to not deal with people in real life ever. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:42 pm

Yes, Id say technology has made it way easier to be passive aggressive, but maybe the invention of the post-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point. Reply

Michelle Vargas
January 25, 2011 | 7:36 pm

I love this too much. Posted to my blog. People are loving it too much over there as well! http://www.fartwithheadphoneson.com/post/2925785472 Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:43 pm

Wow, thats awesome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral?) Thank you so much. Reply

Michelle Vargas
January 25, 2011 | 7:36 pm

I love this too much. Posted to my blog. People are loving it too much over there as well! http://www.fartwithheadphoneson.com/post/2925785472 Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:43 pm

Wow, thats awesome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral?) Thank you so much. Reply

kate
January 25, 2011 | 8:08 pm

Great list! i have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA, actually!) One more to add:

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

During the holidays i used to get this from a family member: you know, I was thinking, this is a really stressful time of year so i just wanted you to know that its no problem if you cant make our get-together, you do whats best for your family, we can always get together after the holidays instead. this is basically code for: i want to cancel but dont want to be the ass that cancels a holiday gathering. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:44 pm

Oh yeah. Totally understand if you have to bail out is a clear Can we please bag this? Ive used it many times myself. Reply

kate
January 25, 2011 | 8:08 pm

Great list! i have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA, actually!) One more to add: During the holidays i used to get this from a family member: you know, I was thinking, this is a really stressful time of year so i just wanted you to know that its no problem if you cant make our get-together, you do whats best for your family, we can always get together after the holidays instead. this is basically code for: i want to cancel but dont want to be the ass that cancels a holiday gathering. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:44 pm

Oh yeah. Totally understand if you have to bail out is a clear Can we please bag this? Ive used it many times myself. Reply

Nancy B
January 25, 2011 | 8:14 pm

Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female members of my mothers side of the family. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Imposing: Oh, Im so thirsty. (Would you get me some water?) and my mothers awesome at Passive Resentful Oh, youre having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern. (Nice girls have their weddings in their home states.) Im pretty sure Ive inherited that gene, too, based on how many times my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to treatment, no? #5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (strangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:47 pm

How modern! Thats excellent. My friends mother-in-law-to-be, when she didnt like my friends wedding decisions, would shrug, Well, its *your* wedding! Reply

Nancy B
January 25, 2011 | 8:14 pm

Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female members of my mothers side of the family. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Imposing: Oh, Im so thirsty. (Would you get me some water?) and my mothers awesome at Passive Resentful Oh, youre having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern. (Nice girls have their weddings in their home states.) Im pretty sure Ive inherited that gene, too, based on how many times my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to treatment, no? #5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (strangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:47 pm

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How modern! Thats excellent. My friends mother-in-law-to-be, when she didnt like my friends wedding decisions, would shrug, Well, its *your* wedding! Reply

Barb
January 25, 2011 | 10:30 pm

Greata list.how aboutWould you mind moving from your back onto your side honey? meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane! Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:48 pm

I just combine the two. Reply

Barb
January 25, 2011 | 10:30 pm

Greata list.how aboutWould you mind moving from your back onto your side honey? meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane! Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:48 pm

I just combine the two. Reply

Heather Pierce
January 25, 2011 | 10:51 pm

This probably falls into #7 but ending questions with or.. instead of just saying what you want drives me nuts! Like when my former manager used to say: Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr.. Instead of I really need that spreadsheet tonight. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:50 pm

Which is in the same category with the very popular so. As in, I was actually in line before you. So. Reply

Heather Pierce
January 25, 2011 | 10:51 pm

This probably falls into #7 but ending questions with or.. instead of just saying what you want drives me nuts! Like when my former manager used to say: Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr.. Instead of I really need that spreadsheet tonight. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:50 pm

Which is in the same category with the very popular so. As in, I was actually in line before you. So. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:35 pm

Thanks, Theresa. Reply

LBelgray
January 25, 2011 | 11:35 pm

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Thanks, Theresa. Reply

11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

Alice B
January 25, 2011 | 11:59 pm

Love it! Its such a relief to know that I dont engage in any of that stuff. I dont, do I? Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:29 am

Haha. Goodness, no. Reply

Alice B
January 25, 2011 | 11:59 pm

Love it! Its such a relief to know that I dont engage in any of that stuff. I dont, do I? Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:29 am

Haha. Goodness, no. Reply

Catherine Caine
January 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

ARGH. Some of these, to my shame, were me. Still are me when Im tired or cranky. I have one addition: Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand questionably-relevant details in to show how much the other persons neglect has WOUNDED you. Phrase: I mean its not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 175 bus instead of the 170 and because the 175 isnt an express it look like an extra 17 minutes and so I had to sit next to this guy that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but its not a big deal or anything I would love to say this is not an example from personal experience. Alas. Im SUCH a bad person. (Two for one!) Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:30 am

Its SO not a big deal. But just letting you know. Reply

Catherine Caine
January 26, 2011 | 8:41 pm

Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are. Reply

Catherine Caine
January 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

ARGH. Some of these, to my shame, were me. Still are me when Im tired or cranky. I have one addition: Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand questionably-relevant details in to show how much the other persons neglect has WOUNDED you. Phrase: I mean its not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 175 bus instead of the 170 and

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because the 175 isnt an express it look like an extra 17 minutes and so I had to sit next to this guy that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but its not a big deal or anything I would love to say this is not an example from personal experience. Alas. Im SUCH a bad person. (Two for one!) Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:30 am

Its SO not a big deal. But just letting you know. Reply

Catherine Caine
January 26, 2011 | 8:41 pm

Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are. Reply

Bridget Pilloud
January 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the counter? Or were you going to use it for something? Are you sure you meant catapult and not trebuchet? Bah! Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:32 am

Im guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion. Reply

Bridget Pilloud
January 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the counter? Or were you going to use it for something? Are you sure you meant catapult and not trebuchet? Bah! Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:32 am

Im guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion. Reply

Jenn
January 26, 2011 | 3:20 am

Be aware of the following Ive fallen for it a few times The Passive Aggressive TRAP: Have anything special planned this weekend? If I say no, I am left undefended for my Mother-in-law to say, Well then! You wouldnt mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see your new house! or if I say yes, Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked Saturday, what about Sunday? By the way, hilarious post! Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:34 am

I think thats just plain aggressive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say, Im bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time is good. Because its happening.

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Reply

Jenn
January 26, 2011 | 3:20 am

Be aware of the following Ive fallen for it a few times The Passive Aggressive TRAP: Have anything special planned this weekend? If I say no, I am left undefended for my Mother-in-law to say, Well then! You wouldnt mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see your new house! or if I say yes, Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked Saturday, what about Sunday? By the way, hilarious post! Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:34 am

I think thats just plain aggressive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say, Im bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time is good. Because its happening. Reply

Marian Schembari
January 26, 2011 | 9:24 am

Im obsessed with this. That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me deliberately not ask whats happened. Grrrr. But also hilarious. I love you. Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:35 am

So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. Ive seen updates like, Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL Reply

Marian Schembari
January 26, 2011 | 9:24 am

Im obsessed with this. That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me deliberately not ask whats happened. Grrrr. But also hilarious. I love you. Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 9:35 am

So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. Ive seen updates like, Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL Reply

Nathalie Lussier
January 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

Ooh I really like the Excuse me, you dropped something aka I just picked up your litter Ive done that a few times, but I found that its much more effective to just pick it up and put it in the trash as if it wasnt a big deal. Maybe the missing one is the silent passive aggressive where the look in your eyes says it all? That can be the most dangerous of all, Id think! Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 7:30 pm

Yes, its all about perfecting the look that says How disappointing. Thanks to you, Ive lost faith in humankind. Reply

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Nathalie Lussier
January 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

Ooh I really like the Excuse me, you dropped something aka I just picked up your litter Ive done that a few times, but I found that its much more effective to just pick it up and put it in the trash as if it wasnt a big deal. Maybe the missing one is the silent passive aggressive where the look in your eyes says it all? That can be the most dangerous of all, Id think! Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 7:30 pm

Yes, its all about perfecting the look that says How disappointing. Thanks to you, Ive lost faith in humankind. Reply

Marianbelgray
January 26, 2011 | 4:50 pm

This was my fave. So good. Oh, I totally picture the eyebrow-raised New Yorker being cut off. The L.A. version: Screaming at someone from your car, knowing full well they cant hear a word because your windows are up. Heres another: Passive Competitive (playground version) Trust me, its a blessing your kid hasnt started walking yet. Its so exhausting! = My kid is developing faster than your kid. Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 7:33 pm

Thanks, Sis. Oooh, Passive Competitive is a good one!! Reply

Marianbelgray
January 26, 2011 | 4:50 pm

This was my fave. So good. Oh, I totally picture the eyebrow-raised New Yorker being cut off. The L.A. version: Screaming at someone from your car, knowing full well they cant hear a word because your windows are up. Heres another: Passive Competitive (playground version) Trust me, its a blessing your kid hasnt started walking yet. Its so exhausting! = My kid is developing faster than your kid. Reply

LBelgray
January 26, 2011 | 7:33 pm

Thanks, Sis. Oooh, Passive Competitive is a good one!! Reply

liz
January 26, 2011 | 11:27 pm

how would you classify this move Sitting on coach, close to front door, hearing my roommates bf knock, then use the door knocker, which she cant hear from her roombut Im not a fan so I let him wait in the hall? (side bar, if I have to see his man boobs, butt crack, or catch him taking a shit in my bathroom w/ the door open again, Im just going to scream). Reply

LBelgray
January 31, 2011 | 10:56 pm

Id call that passive protective. Protecting yourself from sights that would melt your eyes right in your skull. Reply

liz
January 26, 2011 | 11:27 pm

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

how would you classify this move Sitting on coach, close to front door, hearing my roommates bf knock, then use the door knocker, which she cant hear from her roombut Im not a fan so I let him wait in the hall? (side bar, if I have to see his man boobs, butt crack, or catch him taking a shit in my bathroom w/ the door open again, Im just going to scream). Reply

LBelgray
January 31, 2011 | 10:56 pm

Id call that passive protective. Protecting yourself from sights that would melt your eyes right in your skull. Reply

Moriya
January 31, 2011 | 4:11 pm

L.O.V.E. this post! So fun to read that I was savoring it. I would read one then go do something else and then read another etc etc. What about Passive Anthropomorphizing? I had a roommate in college who would leave notes on things like the tv or answering machine like, please return me to the previous channel before turning me off, or please dont change my outgoing message. Instead of confronting her passive aggressive ways I applied for a room change. Reply

LBelgray
January 31, 2011 | 10:12 pm

Oh, that is a REALLY GOOD one. Please wipe me off the next time you get pee on me. Applying for a room change even better. Passive smell ya later-ive. Reply

Moriya
January 31, 2011 | 4:11 pm

L.O.V.E. this post! So fun to read that I was savoring it. I would read one then go do something else and then read another etc etc. What about Passive Anthropomorphizing? I had a roommate in college who would leave notes on things like the tv or answering machine like, please return me to the previous channel before turning me off, or please dont change my outgoing message. Instead of confronting her passive aggressive ways I applied for a room change. Reply

LBelgray
January 31, 2011 | 10:12 pm

Oh, that is a REALLY GOOD one. Please wipe me off the next time you get pee on me. Applying for a room change even better. Passive smell ya later-ive. Reply

Paul Goodchild
February 16, 2011 | 10:33 pm

Ive just discovered this blog tonight its hilarious! I think I might have used the birthday one myself. Its amazing how pissed off you can be when someone doesnt recognise your birthday contribution! Before all the smoking bans came in, it wasnt uncommon to hear (i.e. for me to say) I dont think theyd like you smoking in here dude = Put out your feckin cigarette it stinks! Cant you hold it in for 5 minutes?! Reply

Paul Goodchild
February 16, 2011 | 10:33 pm

Ive just discovered this blog tonight its hilarious! I think I might have used the birthday one myself. Its amazing how pissed off you can be when someone doesnt recognise your birthday contribution! Before all the smoking bans came in, it wasnt uncommon to hear (i.e. for me to say) I dont think theyd like you smoking in here dude = Put out your feckin cigarette it stinks! Cant you hold it in for 5 minutes?! Reply

Olga Tsygankova
February 24, 2011 | 11:36 am

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How about this:

11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

I had a friend who once told me: Remember that girl we met in the cinema last week? She is sooo mean. You know what she said? She said Oh, this Olga is rather pretty, but has SUCH problems with her skin But, of course, you shouldnt pay attention Cool, ha? Loved your post) Olga T. Reply

Olga Tsygankova
February 24, 2011 | 11:36 am

How about this: I had a friend who once told me: Remember that girl we met in the cinema last week? She is sooo mean. You know what she said? She said Oh, this Olga is rather pretty, but has SUCH problems with her skin But, of course, you shouldnt pay attention Cool, ha? Loved your post) Olga T. Reply

Linda Giella
March 29, 2011 | 9:28 am

Brilliant! one of the funniest and TRUEST things Ive ever read. And the comments are just as great! THANK YOU just discovered your blog through blogspot FM and will definitely keep reading. Reply

Karen
August 18, 2011 | 10:52 pm

Passive disgusted. What line would you use when a passenger on an airplane decides to either a. pick his nose-continuously, or b. clip their toenails-shooting bits off into another row? Just wondering what fabulous come-backs you have! LOVE your witticisms-fab writing. K Karen recently posted..Pretty Woman Beach Vacation Reply

Lorne
August 23, 2011 | 10:27 pm

What do you do if you have Aspergers and cant tell/dont know if you are doing this/on the receiving end? Ive certainly said most of these things at one time or another. (Save # 3 & 8: If I dont like something I leave no doubt at all.) *sigh* Maybe it is time to give up. (jk) Reply

Tamie
May 11, 2012 | 3:31 pm

Good question. I know Ive done #10 (Passive Defensive), but the way I typically mean it is: Im sorry my tone of voice/behavior (that I wasnt even aware of) made you think I was being nasty (which I wasnt). The wording of my apology is because Ill take responsibility for my behavior (when Im aware of it), but refuse to take responsibility for the other persons interpretation, misunderstanding, and reaction. They are as responsible for their behavior as I am for mine. As my mother so often tells me when I get mad about something: nobody makes you mad; you only let yourself get mad. (Funny how that logic never applies to her.) Tamie recently posted..SwapNote stationery Reply

JR
August 25, 2011 | 10:03 am

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp

Passive Informative as used by teachers. Your child has a lot of potential I couldnt think of anything academically positive to say about your child. Great post. Reply

Kadijja
February 9, 2012 | 1:47 pm

I have a funny and effective passive-aggressive technique that gets people to pick up after themselves. If my roommate didnt wash her dishes, I say to her, smiling, Oh hey! Were you looking for your dish earlier? When she gives me a quizzical look, I say because its right here, in the sink. Then we laugh and she does her dishes. You can use it for anything else like dirty socks, etc: Oh hey! Were you looking for your socks earlier? And so on. Reply

Matt
May 15, 2012 | 6:52 pm

This friend of mine will say something really passive aggressive, and then will add this little laugh afterwards to play it off like a joke. For example: Dude, you never want to do anything with us anymore..hahaha. Anytime you get in any type of an argument with him he also tries to make it a joke by smiling the entire time. Anyone else know bastards like this? Reply

emmaaa
June 3, 2012 | 5:57 pm

Sorry, no comprendes > my gosh what an accent! Reply

JG
August 7, 2012 | 5:40 am

Psychologists like to come up with ways of categorizing or compartmentalizing every human behavioral trait, and passive-aggressive is no different. Its not that difficult to define really in most cases its just good old-fashioned sarcasm. Its been around forever, and its proven so popular that it will never go out of fashion. Instead of trying to beat it, accept it. It can be kinda useful; if you recognize that being comprehensively sarcastic takes some skill, and that catty jibes often bear a grain of truth. Reply

Sheng
August 14, 2012 | 10:12 am

Passive Bragadocious > this is I think the most popular passive aggressive behavior on all kinds of social network. But this is one of the most entertaining post that Ive read in a long time. Sheng Reply

Robin Raven
September 3, 2012 | 2:02 am

I found your blog looking up vents for just such behavior. Because I am always on the receiving end of someone who is like, I hate people who(insert a wide variety of what I think is cool behavior that she disapproves up. She knows I do those things; I know I do those things. The message is pretty clear. This was a painfully funny post. Robin Raven recently posted..The Hypocrisy of Sarah McLachlan Reply

Tori
September 9, 2012 | 8:55 pm

Very, very funny blog. I loved this post. Reply

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