Have you ever thought about who you are, and how youve you changed?

Have you changed because something or someone has influenced you to change? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then chances are youve also thought about the person who you were in the past. I remember those rough times, Circa MySpace era, when being Emo/Scene was actually something people aspired to be.

Efren Emergency my screen name still rings in my ears. Fortunately, I now

realize how ridiculous my actions were; yet thinking about why I did things the way I did, I see that it was to fit in with others. People, who know me today, would probably scoff at the Myspace Efren and thats exactly what is wrong with society today. We become so engrossed with pleasing others that we change who we are, some of us even create fictitious personas just to fit in with others. When we arent

honest with others about who we really are, and instead present an image of who we think we should be in order to gain their acceptance, were people pleasing.Karl Richard editor of Polynomial. Keeping Karl Richards words in mind, In this speech we will see how technology accentuates the need to be wanted, how social networks separate us from reality and why social networking is becoming a increasingly harmful form of communication. Lets take a look at the human desire to fit in and be accepted. With or without timelines, newsfeeds, retweets, and top friends, we as humans

naturally have an urge to go into groups and associate ourselves with others. Michael W. Taft, member of The Baumann Foundation, writes, Nobody likes

being the odd one out. That's why many of us will agree with the group rather than stand apart, even when we know that the group is wrong. This is why we
often see stories like mine, of people who alter their physical or emotional state in order to fit in with others. This has disastrous consequences as it encourages people to become someone their not. In an effort to garner attention and be accepted by society, some people even go as far as exaggerating their personal qualities or embellishing their personal lives to seem more appealing. On the drastic end of the spectrum, some even create fake or fictitious identities to be a part of the in crowd while masking inner insecurities. These actions may seem harmless but thats precisely why the matter of technological communication ought not to be taken lightly. Technology is increasingly separating us from reality. Even after acknowledging the human need to fit in, youre probably thinking Eh how bad can a little exaggerating on social networks really be? Heres another story similar to mine in that it involves myspace, yet with a morbid ending. Take into account the story of Megan Meier. Lori Drew, mother of her then best friend, bullied Megan. What makes this incident so shocking is that Lori Drew created

an online character, Josh Evans, in an attempt to become friends with Megan and later humiliate her. As the bullying became worse, Megan took her own life. Perhaps even more shocking is the fact that Lori Drew wasnt the only one involved with the creation of Josh Evans. A preliminary investigation revealed that Drews daughter and co-worker were also involved. Drew testified that the only reason she bullied Megan was because she believed her to be spreading rumors of her daughter. This example characterizes the main problem in trying to fit in or become part of a group, especially for those who hide behind the cloak of anonymity that the Internet and social networks provide. Another example, albeit hypothetical, involves Facebook users. A study performed by Kevin Wise, an associate professor, found people online were more attracted to profiles with more comments compared to those with fewer. This is what drives the whole phenomena of fishing for comments, a practice in which people add pictures that are not normally associated with their character or personality in an effort to garner extra comments and attention. Zoe Fox from Mashable writes, The comments your Facebook friends leave on your profile picture strongly affect your level of perceived physical, social and professional attractiveness. This highlights the problem that exists in society in which people begin to alter their characters and sometimes even create a near fictitious

version of themselves in order to again, be perceived as more attractive by others. While some may say that this problem of false appearances has always existed in society, we must acknowledge the fact that technology has now made it easier for the problem to become more harmful and common. Many people still fail to see the impacts of separating from the real world through technology. The pictures a whole lot bigger than facebook, myspace and instagram. Susan Tardanico wrote an article expanding on why social networks and technology can be harmful to communication. Awash in technology, anyone can hide behind the text, the e-mail, the Facebook post or the tweet, projecting any image they want and creating an illusion of their choosing. They can be whoever they want to be. And without the ability to receive nonverbal cues, their audiences are none the wiser. These examples illustrate why communication is being lost in our society. Technology allows us to create these elaborate personas that dont actually represent who we truly are. This negatively impacts our day-to-day relations, as some might become increasingly disconnected to the real us and prefer our online counterparts. Even with something as simple as texting, we allow ourselves to change who we are to become more interesting and to please others. The solution to this problem isnt an easy one. It involves us taking a step back and realizing the

important and beneficial areas of technological communication, while isolating the negative ones. Like I stated earlier, one might argue that the need to please others is a characteristic inherent in every human being, yet the fact that technology allows us to sophisticatedly become more than we really are means that the problem must be addressed as soon as possible. So the next time youre texting your friends, uploading a status to facebook, or even instagraming a picture of your lunch, keep in mind who youre portraying yourself to be, and if thats really the person you are. These things may be the key to retaining personal relationships and communication with others. They were for me, take it from Efren Emergency who learned it the hard way.