Bittersweet

Mariel Leister

The clock pointed to exactly three in the morning. Insomnia was consuming me again. My
brain kept on cluttering unwanted memories in my thoughts and some of them arent entirely pleasant. My brain is good at that: flooding me with memories to keep me wide eyed until the sun came up. I dont get to sleep during the day either. Not much at least. I lolled myself in a rattan loveseat in the balcony of my room. It was the only place where I feel serene during sleepless nights. The sky was bare and starless, like a paint bucket was poured over it. It would have been pitch black if it werent for the dim lights from houses. Cool wind was blowing, yeah, right. Just what I needed, and my pajamas didnt agree with it. Get up, lazy. Get a jacket. I dragged myself across the room, to my walk-in-closet. Cardigan, polo, t-shirtjacket! My favorite biker jacket was wrapped around me in no time. Its leathery feel made me feel warm right away. My legs werent covered up well enough, so I grabbed a blanket from my bed. All set. A cool breeze swept inside my right sleeve. It felt like a caress, and then the coolness stopped, and remained in my shoulder like it was grasping me. It felt more like a hand. No. Cant be. I tried to make my way back to the balcony, but another phantom caress paralyzed me before I could even take a step. My shoulders were being held in place, freezing me from there up to my feet. What's happening? A laugh thundered inside the room. The voice was foreign to my ears. It was a man. Where did he come from? He couldnt have gotten inside since I locked all the doors, except for the one at the balcony but it was three storeys high. Hello. He said. He was right behind me. He was the one keeping me still. Dont be scared. I couldnt open my mouth to respond. I wanted to scream but I couldnt. Who the hell are you!? Get out of here! But nothing came out. Cold hands released me and I fell on my knees. I looked up and found him grinning down at me. He was beautiful. His eyes screamed murder, they were intimidating. It was odd though, that one eye was green while the other was blue. My guts told me to run, but I wanted to stare at him longer. Who are you? I wanted to ask again, but nothing came out.

Im here to take you. He said, keeping the grin on his face. His deep voice sent shivers down my spine, alarming me from my core. Who are you? I am death. No. Youre a crazy bastard whos trying to scare the hell out of me. No, he laughed. Im not a crazy bastard. Wha-whatdo youwantfrom me? I almost choked out the words. Im here to take you. He said again. The calmness in his voice raised goosebumps on my skin. What are you? I am death, and I am here to collect you. It was eerie, but something inside me was telling me that he wasnt lying. Everything about his image told me that I was going to die. My demise was near. I wasnt ready. He held out a hand, Im gonna die, and I took it. Instead of seeing flashes of white, hearing heavens choir or seeing my own body lying lifeless on the floor, he pulled me up to face him. His face was beautiful. His emerald-sapphire eyes were stunning. For a brief moment, I have fallen in love with him, despite the insanity of him referring to himself as death. You have until sunrise. Then youre mine. His lips tilted up to a smirk. It was intoxicating. He had beautiful lips and I wanted to kiss them. Why? The question came out easily. I could talk again. The big boss wants me to repent now? No. His smirk became almost a grin. I want you and I am going to take you with me. Did I not do anything to offend the almighty? I stopped going to church many years ago. I almost dont pray anymore and I have too many vices. Considering that Im a woman, I was never ladylike. Sinful was my middle name. Why? I had to ask again. He wasnt giving me the answer that I needed to hear. Ive been watching you for years. You have compelled me to you and I want you. The only way that we could be together is if you die. Your soul is mine to take and mine to own.He caressed

my cheek. The feel of his skin was cool electricity. My whole body began to shiver and my biker jacket was no help in keeping me warm. What will happen to me? I was curious. If I died, do I get to hover around on this plane and haunt people? Maybe I was going to be dragged to hell. I knew that I needed punishment. Our eyes met, damn, he had beautifully enchanting eyes. I could drown in his gaze and I wouldnt mind being lost in it forever. Youll be mine. Was all he said. I shifted my gaze from his eyes to the clock on my nightstand. It was half past four, two hours before sunrise. Two hours before my demise. Since Im going to hell anyway, why dont you just take me now and spare me the few hours of wait before sunrise? Theres no one to say goodbye to. I had no friends wholl miss me when Im gone. No family either. Solitude was my only friend. Youre not going to hell. Youll be in my world. He planted a soft kiss on my lips. Heavens choir began singing; I guess Im dead now. It was a subtle kiss, a tease, an effective tease. Kiss me again. And he did. It wasnt faint the second time around. There was hunger in the movement of his lips. They were soft yet demanding. You really must have fallen for me. But why me? Because youre different. He said as our lips parted. My heart was banging against my chest. I wanted him too. Im ready. I said and he smiled. His azure-viridian eyes glimmered and he kissed me again. He wrapped his arms around me and I embraced him back. I began to feel as if we were flying. Everything was cold. From a distance, I could hear a sweet melody but I couldnt make out if it was a song. And then, the coldness was gone. It was replaced by a warm feeling that travelled all the way up to my heart. I felt safe. Am I dead now? Yes. He said.

It was pitch black. If I didnt knew that I was in hell, Id say that I was in oblivion. The beautiful man who called himself death held me prisoner in the depths of the underworld. He locked me

up in chains, behind heavy bars with no sense of sight. I wasnt blind, but the darkness made me one. My flesh was rotting. I could smell me as I was being devoured upon. Phantom teeth were ripping me apart, feeding off my screams and the torment that Death inflicted upon me. He did want me, and for the right reasons. I was bad. Every moment felt like forever. He came to me once in a while to see if I was holding up. This was one of those once-in-a-whiles. I love how you are suffering. His deep voice sent me screaming on top of my lungs. My mind was stuck in the asylum of my own skull. I didnt want to hear his voice anymore. You are beautiful. He laughed. Hell, I was beautiful with tattered flesh. Tell me your name, so that Id know who to curse. Alright. He laughed again. It sounded devilishly good to my ears, and yet I despise him. They call me Lucifer.