NATURAL LAW AND SEXUAL ETHICS BY JANET SMITH

Things really do change as time passes by. Not only do the objects and machines around us evolve through the technological advances but also the way people think and act. As time passes by, each people vary when it comes to their opinions to certain issues and reaction to certain situations. What has been a dreadful action in the previous years can just be an ordinary thing to do today and things that are acceptable before are now an absurd and ridiculous ideas. But the thing is, are all these changes good? Are these developments and new ways of thinking of people really helpful and beneficial to mankind? Are the changes on peoples action and opinions making us into a better individual? For me, I think not. I cannot deny the fact that a lot of these changes are really good: All these gadgets and technological advancements make our lives a lot easier, these new discoveries and inventions add something up to our knowledge and these new ideas changes the way we think. We have developed a liberal way of thinking. We have seen things differently and thought of out of the box ideas. But like a drug, it brought us its side effects. Yes, it may cure us from a certain illness, but it can harm a single part of our body and this may cause us to not function well. There are lots of issues to be talked about regarding these changes but Ill focus into something which is one of the most controversial topics today: SEX. When I was still young, my dad used to cover my eyes when we are watching TV or watching any movie whenever there is a kissing scene. At first, of course being young and being curious and all, Ill ask why. And the answer that I always get from the elderly are, Im not yet ready and Im not yet going to understand those things because Im too young. But as I grew up, I came to learn that it is a form of intimacy. It is something that is done by people who deeply loves each other and youll just do that when youre already at the right age. During that time, I thought that was the most extreme thing to do. I thought that was the highest form of intimacy that a human being can do. But I was wrong. It was not until I grow older and came to study the reproductive system and know about the uterus, the fallopian tube, the ovum, the sperm, the vas deferens, the vagina, the penis and so on and so forth. Thats when I learned that babies are not simply formed through kissing someone. Why am I telling this? It is because at that time and even before that, children also think the same way about the issue. It is during those times, youngsters are so innocent that they would come up with their own idea of how a baby is formed. But the generation today is way different. They may have learned the reproductive system at

the same age as me, but it may not be the first time theyve known about it. They may have seen or learned about it through the different forms of media. These are the changes that Im talking about. Years ago, there is still none of these widespread media and people those days think of things differently. People before are so traditional and conservative that they tend to be more careful of their actions. They are not like the people today who are so fond of getting with the flow on whats in and becoming liberated more than to what is necessary. With these, people today are committing a lot of mistakes and engaging to different problems because of not knowing what is right and what is wrong. This is just like what Janet Smith have said in her work, We have been so corrupt, we cannot discern what is obvious. Sex is a very intimate, personal and sacred act. It is not just something that you must do because you just feel like doing it. It is not like water that you drink when you are thirsty or a food that you eat when you are hungry. It is not as easy as that. It is not a mere need that has to be satisfied. A sexual intercourse is something that requires love, commitment and security. It is something that you do with your other half and by doing it, you become united and thats what makes it sacred: the binding of two individuals who share the same passion and feelings. It is not just the physical interaction of a man and a woman but also it involves emotional aspect of a person. This is what makes an animals sexual intercourse different from a human beings sexual intercourse. Animals do it for the sake of mere reproduction, while human beings, aside from doing it for the unification of two different souls. The main objective of sex is the creation of new life, the foundation of a family and making a stronger bond and connection between two prepared and ready individuals. We can see now the difference of today from before: large number of teenage pregnancy and parenthood, shot gun weddings due to unplanned pregnancy, increasing number of abortion and growing number of people infected with sexually transmitted disease. What do you think is the reason for all of these? The answer is wrong thinking, interpretation and understanding of sex. People these days just consider sex as a normal or an everyday activity, perhaps a past time or a hobby. People these days think of it as a very shallow thing: something that you just do with anybody that you please, something that is very easy to give, something that is not an issue at all. Sex, from being something special, something delicate and something personal just turn out to be something that is a source of mere pleasure and gratification. Human beings are called rational beings because of their capacity to think and decide in line with reason. We have the power to discern what is good and what is bad. So in regards with having a sexual intercourse we must know what good action we must do. We must realize that sex is not just a

piece of candy that should be easily given away. It is something that should be done once you are already prepared to do it, once you are ready to face the consequences of doing it. One of the major consequences: the formation of life. This is the reason why sex is something that should and must be done by a married couple. This is because more than anybody, they are the ones who are ready to build a family. One who is not ready to have a child should not engage in sex. It is like a soldier going into a war, fully aware that you can lose your life into the process. Because of this you must be ready, because once it is there; there is already no turning back. You could say that isnt it there are already contraceptives to stop the fertilization process? Yes, there are pills, condoms, etc out there in the market but this is not the solution to the issue. For me, the people who use this are coward who fear the outcome of their actions. Sex does not revolve around pleasure, it revolves around life. This is where rationality must come in. We have to deal with the problem: We tend to focus on the short term pleasure rather than the long term consequence. Do you think a 14 year old girl is ready to have her own family? Is a 17 year old boy prepared to be a provider of his own family? They are not ready, are they? But why do we hear real life stories about a young girl getting pregnant at an early age or a teenage boy being a father so young? Our minds have been corrupted that all we care about getting pleasure all the time. We already dont use our capability to think straight and decide on what is good for us. We complicated things and twist its main purpose just so we satisfy our petty human needs. People these days already became sex-crazed individuals whose live already revolves around things about sex. Why is it wrong to engage in sex when you are not married? It is not simply because it is what God tells us because it leads us to self destruction and we fail to be what we have to be. Why would we do something that we know isnt proper? You can say that you are not hurting other people by doing it but, arent you hurting and damaging your own self? Why would we agree to submit ourselves for mere pleasure and be in a situation that we do not deserve? What is the point of giving yourself to someone who doesnt even give you the slightest bit of commitment and security? Why would you surrender yourself when there is no love and passion involved? Why would you allow yourself to just be in a one night thing when in fact it has to be something more? We call ourselves rational beings but why do we not act like we are one? I just dont see the point why people do it as if youre just like having coffee or going into the cinema. I cannot comprehend how they can manage to give their selves to someone whos not giving them this sense of commitment and security. I simply dont understand why they consider sex as just sex when it fact it should be something more.

Another thing also, is that people these days tend to marry someone who is just sexually compatible with them. What they consider important is that the person they are going to marry would be able to satisfy their sexual needs. They are likely to set aside or not really make a big deal of the emotional, spiritual and psychological aspects of the relationships. As quoted from Janet Smiths work Sexual attraction and sexual compatibility become the chief foundation of relationships. If we are going to marry, we should not ask the question Am I going to be sexually satisfied with this person? but rather, Is this person going to be a good parent for my children? What we need is someone who will be our life long partner in every aspect in our lives: Someone whom we will confide our problems to, Someone whom we will share with our joys and success, someone that who will be happy with our happiness and vice versa, someone that would help us in facing and solving the obstacles that we will face along the way, someone that would stay despite of the roughness of the road. We dont need someone who will just bring us to the ecstasies and pleasures of life. We need someone more than that. We deserve someone better than that. Theres got to be a bigger shot than that. Marrying someone is like giving that other person the chance and the privilege to enter into your life and make changes in it. These changes in our lives may in fact be helpful and beneficial to us. But then, each advance has its own consequences. The developments in the society can change the way we think, like in the issue of sex for example. But are we suppose to follow and go with it because it is what is in the trend? Is it really necessary to imitate the actions of others? Do we really need to pursue what the society tells us to do? We say that we are rational animals. We have the capability to know what is right from wrong. We have the ability to decide and make correct judgements. We should behave like we are supposed to be. We are rational beings, so we must act and behave like one. We are always given the choice to choose what we want and what we dont. One thing a rational being must consider is if they really need this ir they just think they need it. I say that these changes are like drugs, we get so tuned and addicted and then it end up changing who we naturally are. Are we going to allow it to continue to hone us into something that we are not or are we going to fight through it and remain to be what we ought to be?

PATRICIA C. TIANGCO DLC