Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Glasgow University Guardian - December 12th 2008 - Issue 4
Glasgow University Guardian - December 12th 2008 - Issue 4
Choked up Egyptology
Tom Bonnick finds the latest Journalist Hossam El Hamalawy discusses
Palahniuk adaptation hard to swallow Egyptian revolution with Pete Ramand
George Binning
lecturer’s article
PRIOR TO THE JOHN SMITH MEMORIAL community groups and campaigned to get a law
Debate, Hazel Blears enjoyed a drink with the centre in my community. Gordon Brown today dismissed speculation
Glasgow University Labour Club and took time In those days we had a Tory government so of a summer election, will he call the election
An article by a Glasgow University philos- to speak with Guardian. I was organising the march for jobs, protesting, as late as possible?
ophy lecturer was the one of the most doing all the things young people do.
popular on the BBC website last month. Have you always been politically active? Then I joined the Labour party and some- I wouldn’t dream of speculating on when
Over 592,000 people read Dr. David body said to me: ‘Have you ever thought about we will have an election. The task in hand
Bain’s analysis of four major philosophical Yes, I first got involved through my trade being a councillor?’ So I was a councillor for now is helping people through what is a very
questions, which was written to coincide union; I joined my union before I joined the eight years in Salford, my own city, and had a difficult financial situation and I can genuinely
with World Philosophy Day. fantastic time getting things done. tell you this: the whole of the Government is
The article was the most emailed and And then somebody said: ‘Have you ever completely focussed on keeping a roof over
the second-most popular in the world on the thought about standing for parliament?’ and people’s heads, keeping them in their jobs and
BBC’s website on November 20. this is what happens to you in life: you end up making sure they get through. It’s not the time
A spokesman for the University in the Cabinet! for election talk.
explained the significance of the article’s
popularity. Speaking to the Labour Club you referred But Northern Rock’s rate of repossessions
He said: “To be the BBC News website's to the House of Commons as predominantly has doubled since its nationalisation in
most e-mailed story around the world is a old, white, middle class and male. How long February, and is 50% ahead of any of its
great achievement and demonstrates the real do you think it will take to achieve a more market competitors on this front. How is this
interest there is in philosophy.” representative parliament? conducive to “keeping a roof over people’s
The article invites readers to consider heads”?
four philosophical puzzles, each challenging Well, it’s just about a hundred years since
the morals, ethics and rationale underlying women started getting the vote and I hope it It’s not good at all, and people are very
our decision-making. doesn’t take another hundred years to get some worried. But it is a lot less than in the recession
Dr. Bain told Guardian that he was kind of equality. I think it is getting better. in the early ‘90s. That’s why I have brought
pleased with the feedback he had received. “We have got a number of MPs from forward a program of £1 billion both to build
He said: “The reaction impressed on me different ethnic backgrounds; we‘ve got five more social housing for rent, but also to make
not only the extensive reach of the Internet, Muslim MPs, but we haven’t yet got a Muslim sure we can help people with their mortgages
but the widespread thirst for deep and diffi- woman MP, and I’m hoping that Rushnara Ali, over this next year or so, so we don’t see people
cult questions. who’s our candidate up in East London, will getting repossessed and out on the streets.
“I received nearly 100 replies, some actually be the first, which is fantastic.
wanting to apply to Glasgow. The only But I think we have a way to go, and I really In June 2007, Hazel Blears was appointed
article that was more read on the BBC that want to see more young people in parliament Secretary of State for Communities and
day was about a Czech underwear model Jim Wilson because the world is changing so fast now Local Government.
who lacks a belly button. Not even philos-
Nancy That!
(continued from front page) Glasgow City Council Building Control At the time of going to print, the Fire 1881 and 1883. Since 1996 it was the site of
the Department of Economics, the Centre for & Public Safety (GCCBCP) were tasked with Investigation team had yet to ascertain the the independent all-girls school, Laurel Park. It
Business History and the Centre for the History assessing the damaged building to determine source of the fire. Watch Commander Love, of was bought by Hutcheson’s Grammar school in
of Medicine, was closed due to safety concerns, whether or not the structure was unstable and Strathclyde Incident Research & Investigation 2001 and served as their main feeder primary
though there was no physical damage to the to implement measures to protect the public Section (IRIS) told Guardian: “Safety issues on school. The property was recently sold to
building. All lectures and tutorials to be held in and thereafter ensure that any danger to others the site of Lilybank Terrace have prevented the Credential Holdings for redevelopment and
the building were cancelled on Thursday. is permanently resolved. Incident Research team from investigating the stood disused for over a year before the fire.
Great George Street and Lilybank Terrace Stuart Murie, Group Manager of GCCBCP, causes of the fire.” The terrace was listed as a Grade B.
were also closed to traffic until fire crews confirmed that no asbestos had been found in Lilybank Terrace was designed by the Building and was also within the Glasgow West
for EU students
economic sense but they also enrich our culture
Craig MacLellan and society and will often stay in Scotland
THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS COMING after they graduate, enabling Scotland to retain
to study at Scottish higher education institutions highly-skilled people.
from other European Union Member States has “It is a testament to the quality and inter-
risen dramatically over the last five years. national reputation of our universities that
The number of EU students receiving fee international students continue to be attracted
support from the Student Awards Agency for to Scotland.”
Scotland (SAAS) has risen 93.8% between The report also shows that the number of
2002-2003 and 2007-2008. There was also a Scottish students having their tuition fees paid
17.6% year-on-year increase in the figures. by SAAS, when choosing to study outside
Universities Scotland, the body respon- Scotland, has fallen by 20.7% over the last five
sible for representing and promoting Scotland’s years.
higher education sector, attributes the rise to This is despite the fact that since 2006-07,
increased European mobility, with twelve addi- students have been entitled to fee loans, whereby
tional countries having joined the EU during fees are paid directly to the institution by SAAS
the period. and are then re-paid by students after they have
Furthermore, Scotland is one of only a graduated from university, in a manner similar
few countries that are fully accredited to the to the Scottish student loan system.
Bologna process, whereby degree standards are Universities Scotland noted, however,
more comparable and compatible throughout that this level of attraction from mainland
Europe. Europe can only be maintained by ensuring
The general increases in the number of that Scottish institutions remain competitive
international students, both from within and amongst the European institutions.
outwith the EU, have brought both economic A spokesperson for the organisation
and cultural benefits to Scotland. told Guardian: “It is vital that the Scottish
A spokesperson for Universities Scotland Government ensures Scotland’s higher educa-
explained the importance of attracting inter- tion sector is funded on a similar level to
national students to Scottish higher education comparator countries so that institutions can
institutions. maintain the high quality of teaching and
He said: “International students make a student services which attract many interna-
vital contribution to Scotland. Not only in an tional students to Scotland.”
Voices unite in plea for peace
3rd December 2008 guardiannews@src.gla.ac.uk NEWS 5
of traction energy, which is used to The rise in the cost of a Discovery A survey conducted by the gard for students and those on low
Craig MacLellan
run the underground trains, leaves the Ticket now makes travelling on University of Glasgow, in 2007, found incomes: those most likely to use
THE PRICE OF TRAVEL ON THE company facing a rise in electricity the Subway more expensive than that 42% of students use public trans- their services.
Glasgow Subway is set to increase costs of £800,000. travelling by bus, with the equivalent port to travel to and from campus. “These are essential services for
for the second time in under a year. There will be increases on all FirstDay ticket costing £3.20. For those who used other methods, students travelling to and from the
Strathclyde Partnership for fares, with single adult and return Current increases follow on from the cost of public transport was cited university; and to be penalising them
Transport (SPT), which operates the fares both rising 9% to £1.20 and a rise in fares introduced last April. as a reason for doing so. with a 40% increase is insulting.”
Subway system, has been hit by the £2.40 respectively. Discovery tickets, The rises were in line with infla- Alistair Wilson, Chairman of He explained that the SRC are in
escalating cost of energy. will see a larger 40% increase from tion and followed a three-year-long SPT, said that, whilst he appreci- contact with politicians and the SPT
An increase of 94% in the price £2.50 to £3.50. price freeze. ates the difficult economic climate, to protect student interests.
SPT had little choice but to increase He said: “The SRC are in commu-
ticket prices. nication with the SPT and MSPs
He said: “We know everyone is from across the political parties to
strapped for cash at the moment and ensure that financial pressures on
this was a difficult decision for us students are eased.”
as a result. SPT maintains that a ticket on the
“Faced with an increased fuel subway is still one of the lowest in
bill of almost £800,000 and other Europe, with further savings possible
escalating operating costs, we have through the purchase of a multi-
no option open to us other than journey ticket.
increasing fares.” A spokesperson said: “Students
President of the SRC, Gavin can save 25p per journey if they
Lee, regards the price rises as buy the adult 20 journey tickets at
unacceptable, especially given the £19. This ticket makes the cost per
fact that many people are currently journey 95p rather than £1.20 for the
trying to reduce spending as much adult single ticket.”
as possible. The final decision on the fare
He told Guardian: “SPT’s price increases will be made at the next
After years of political alienation, Venezuelan freedom fighters show Crystal Chesters how to fight for the right to party.
T
hey could have been filming the new Bacardi advert sitting with us, for approval; “exploded,” she corrects him. Youth. It quickly becomes apparent that no one speaks Spanish
the other night in Blackfriars. There was Latin spirit “Our education system has changed so much, and the art has so Kike turns to the translator who asks the Socialists what
bursting from all corners thanks to twelve-piece blown up!” he continues, “We now have the strongest education they are doing to achieve autonomy. Finally allowed in to the
revolutionary salsa band, La Redonda. “Venezuela! system in South America besides Cuba. We are taking inspira- conversation, James answers, “We are in favour of Scotland
Venezuela!” they chanted as the sweaty crowd clapped and tion from every good socialist movement in the world,” he becoming a separate state from England. Britain is a huge world
attempted to salsa. Unfortunately I didn’t take the initiative to grabs the air energetically, “and combining it to make our own power and we don’t want nuclear weapons being stored twenty
get on the bar and start pouring shots down the necks of innocent system. Venezuelans have finally realised that they aren’t all miles away from here; a third of the soldiers in Iraq are Scottish
boys. I did however manage to catch up with the band before the about oil, baseball and bitches!” he grins. I assume he means despite the fact that only one tenth of the UK population is made
show to find out what the ruckus was about. women; somehow it’s endearing not offensive. Carlos, who has up of Scots. We don’t want to be part of the British Empire
It’s something to do with Venezuelan President, Hugo been sitting back, stroking his goatee and smirking leans in, fighting abroad. We can’t have control over our oil either and
Chavez according to La Redonda. His outrageous political “Yeah, Chavez has made us open our eyes! Before, we just sat it’s inspiring to see your example of how things can change for
performances, in particular his comments on the stench of around in a dream watching TV because we had no education. the better.”
sulphur that emanates from George Bush, have both morti- We grew up without being able to identify with our president Alex looks touched and replies, “We arrived five hours ago
fied and impressed young Venezuelans. He almost assumes Carlos Andres Perez” and there is this different energy in Scotland to that in England.
the role of an embarrassing parent. In that vein he has become They went on to explain in excited unison that the band was People here look you in the eye and they talk to you. The U.S.
famous for being able to relate to the needs of his poorest formed as a protest to the economic stagnation and political
people, whether in terms of education, artistic encouragement frustration experienced throughout eighties and nineties in “You are part of a revolution, and it's
or job creation. As enthusiastic participants of the revolution, La Venezuela while their translator struggled to keep up, “Now we real, and it's happening right now”
Redonda were keen to find out about movement towards social are with the government and we are benefiting from its riches.”
change in Scotland. Alex concludes heartily. are the motherfuckers with everything and it’s the same for
It was for this reason that I came to be sat patiently with A member of Scottish Socialist Youth steals a quick moment Scottish people in the UK.” Everyone chuckles slightly embar-
earnest members of Scottish Socialist Youth as the band members to throw in a question, “So do you think Venezuela has got rid rassed and Kike moves on to ask what Scottish Socialists are
barged in late in bright stripy hats brimming with Caribbean of corruption?” “No!” Alex zestfully starts, “Corruption is a heading towards. James replies, “Well there is going to be a
charm. I immediately felt pale and boring. They enthusiastically sickness! Everyone wants to be rich and white! American TV referendum in two years but at the moment with the economic
shook hands with everyone and we made our way to the sofas. sells us the dream. The only time it’s good to be Latin is in the crisis, no one is really very certain and national momentum is
Carlos Martinez and Alex Acosta stole the limelight while the club!” slightly against independence.”
Scottish contingent sat back and watched the show. The conversation was a whirling skipping rope and I took Kike continues, “It’s good for us to know what’s going on
my chance to jump in with my question; “Obama! Will he here so we can take it back to Venezuela with us. We are going
“As enthusiastic participants of the revo- change relations between the U.S and Venezuela?” Alex looks to show this meeting on Avila TV to demonstrate to the people
lution, La Redonda were keen to find me in the eye, “Maybe, but it’s always impossible to tell how what we are doing abroad to support our revolution.” The camera
out about movement towards social a leader is going to turn out. The most important thing is that man gives us a twirl in his Avila t-shirt. They all grin and point.
he is black and that symbolises an international change. He “We are having a concert on Thursday night and we hope you
change in Scotland.” shows that there is hope for everyone.” Carlos adds, “I think all can come,” Kike continues. The Scottish Socialists nod and
Alex unselfconsciously launched into fluid conversation many people have good intentions but it will take a long time to say they’ll be there. James thanks the band and comments, “The
in loud broken English, “La Redonda, our band, was formed change such a corrupt country.” passion and richness of your discussion was really inspiring and
around the time that Hugo Chavez came in to power in 1998.” Alex continues, “Yeah I mean behind Obama there is Mac it’s great to see that you are part of a revolution, and it’s real, and
“We are more an artistic collective than anything else,” and IBM and the motherfuckin’ banks. But he is the symbol of it’s happening right now.”
Carlos cut in smiling, with a thick Spanish accent, “We do street a change among the people. In New York, what’s cool is being The meeting comes to a close after two hours with a round
art, circus performances, and music.” Alex took over again, hip-hop but now there’s Obama, more people are developing a of applause. The Venezuelans get us to repeat altogether, “Patria,
“Chavez is our first Leader to care about artists. He provides us critical conscience because they can see things changing on a Socialismo o Muerte.” We all shout it grinning. I had never
with institutions and gives us funding, and TV channels where large scale.” considered myself a socialist but their enthusiasm and nerve
we can express ourselves!” He flaps his hands around colour- Kike, who has been smiling sleepily in his bright orange was infectious. It was only on my way home that I realised what
fully while elaborating, “There is a huge art movement now — beret throughout the meeting, awakens and begins rambling I had been chanting actually meant; “Patriotism, socialism or
it has blown up!” he chuckles and looks over to the translator in Spanish at perturbed James Nesbitt from Scottish Socialist Death.”
8 FEATURES guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk 3rd Decem
E
gypt is witnessing an uprising of a proportion not seen for many years. ship,” says Hossam. “State repression is very high.” He describes the level of Hamalawy describes the major turning p
Strikes and mass demonstrations are shaking the very roots of Egyptian violence being met out to anyone who dares to stand up to the government: refused to oppose the ‘War on Terror’: “
society and have the highly repressive dictatorship of Hosni Mubarak “In 1992 the Islamic insurgents had launched their campaign against Hosni regime is the second largest recipient of
in total disarray. Mubarak, and the response of the government was a severe crackdown. Not just with the outbreak of the Iraq war, we saw
“We are in the midst of the biggest and the strongest strike wave that against the Islamists, but against everyone else as well. I remember growing up 50,000 people clashed with the police
the country has witnessed since the end of the Second World War,” explains “They were confronting Mubaraks police, his tanks and People were ripping down and burning
campaigning journalist Hossam el Hamalawy. As I sit down with him on the his soldiers using rocks. This is an uneven battle, but the From 2004 onwards, activists start
Glasgow leg of his UK lecture tour, he tries to convey the depth of the situa- directly, in the form of an umbrella
tion in his home country. “I’ll start by reading you out a couple of quotes that
people will prevail.” ‘enough’ in Arabic. This started with m
I have overheard recently,” he says. “I think that will give you an insight into in Cairo and there were police checkpoints all over the city. People were disap- pendence. “We had two reformist judg
how far along things are: ‘The problem of this country is capitalism… We are pearing. Twenty-two new prisons were built. People were joking that Mubarak on bogus charges, in very similar even
being ruled by a bunch of thieves, they are the worst thieves since the time of had come up with a very creative way of solving the housing crisis in Egypt, by recently,” says Hossam. “Thousands to
the pharaohs… There is no middle ground; you either stand with the robbers or housing the entire populations in prisons. Those being held without trial reached the judges, burning images of Mubarak,
those who are robbed… The road of reform has been blocked, we are left with 5000 according to human rights sources.” someone who saw the 1990s, this was l
no alternative but revolt’.” Hossam recalls his time as a student, explaining that university campuses “But things were to take a completel
“These are not quotes from meetings of socialists or radical leftists,” are the only place activists are safe as the police are not allowed to enter: “If the 7th of December 2006, 3000 female
Hossam explains, “These are things I heard in meetings of Egyptian property you opposed the government the moment you stepped outside your university, Nile Delta town of Mahalla. This is ho
tax collectors, would you believe?” you would be kidnapped, you would be beaten up, you would be taken to the Middle East, housing some 27,000 peop
Hossam explains that the tax collectors went on strike for a period of three torture chambers.” on strike and started marching in the f
months, in which time tax-collection in Egypt dropped by 90%. “The strike He describes the recent case of a bus driver found agitating against Mubarak. months’ bonuses that the government ha
culminated in an eleven day occupation of downtown Cairo and they ended up When the police caught him, he was taken to the police station and gang raped workers then stormed the areas of the fa
winning a staggering 325% pay increase,” he says. by security officers. “The police filmed the whole thing and then went back working, chanting and demanding the m
This level of unrest currently appears to be the norm in Egypt, although this to his bus garage and circulated the video amongst his fellow workers, as a “The men laid down there tools and
has certainly not always been the case. warning. This sort of thing happens all the time at the moment.” reports Hamalawy. “They occupied thei
“This kind of movement is happening under a classic third world dictator- Despite this brutal repression, the Egyptian people are fighting back. El intimidation, and they won. But from tha
mber 2008 guardianfeats@src.gla.ac.uk FEATURES 9
L W
third world civilians.
abour Party elections played a formative political role Most pundits interpret the budget announcement as riter’s block can take two forms. It can mean
for me. One of my earliest memories, aged seven, Labour's ‘move to the left’. The top tax band, which covers either not knowing what to write at all, or it can
involves chasing a Conservative Party election wagon the top 1 percent of earners, will increase from forty to forty- mean having so much to write that you don’t
down the street screaming, “What about the miners!” My five percent. However, remember that it is not long since know where to start. In this case it is the latter. We could look
next door neighbour — a Neanderthal right-winger, aged Brown scrapped the 10p income tax band for the very poor, at the Labour government’s attacks on civil liberties, their
eight — asked how I could support Kinnock, a man who a decision that had enormous ramifications for people strug- economic mismanagement (note the mis-: it’s not that they
openly kissed his wife in public. He later joined the Officer gling to afford gas bills and rising food prices. didn’t do anything, it’s that they didn’t do anything well),
Training Corps. Clearly Tories learn hypocrisy and sexual It has taken the greatest economic crisis since WWII for their poor handling of defence, or their failures in education.
repression at the same age socialists learn class hatred. Labour to even consider taxing the rich. Before Thatcher was Not to mention their misdirected foreign policy, nor indeed
No matter the circumstances, a Conservative government elected, the very rich paid eighty-three percent income tax; at their treatment of parliament and the democratic process.
is never a positive thing for most people. The Tories recruit best, we have edged past halfway to restoring the ‘progres- Instead, however, we shall look at something much deeper
their membership from the traditional ruling class; their real sive’ conditions of the 1970s. than all of that, the root cause of many of their problems: how
prejudices are always with the very wealthy, no matter how Given that there is no viable political alternative, I hope they have dehumanised the system. Or rather, systemised the
“caring” they want to appear. Labour beats the Conservatives at the next election. Labour human, if you will. No longer can a teacher simply do what
Just look at how shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley receives ninety percent of its funds from the trade union a child needs — forms must be filled, boxes must be ticked,
described the economic crisis: “On many counts, recession movement, and a more powerful movement from below targets must be met. Arbitrary, statistical targets that tell a
can be good for us. People tend to smoke less, drink less — strikes, demonstrations, and so on — could force them lifeless, dehumanised story. Labour don’t just want every
alcohol, eat less rich food and spend more time at home with into concessions that maintain living standards during the child to get a good education; they want eighty-five percent
their families.” Never mind that poverty is the biggest killer crisis. The Tories make most of their funding deals at yacht to make the grade at 11, fifty percent to get a degree. This
in Britain; never mind that if you live in the poorest areas of parties, and recruit their membership from Rotary Clubs, the is no longer education but a production line, with quality
Glasgow you will die younger than the average resident of Women's Institute, and the Glasgow University Union. control, expected returns, and expected failures.
the Gaza Strip. From a Tory angle, all of our health problems Many reasonable people support Labour, for the same Statistics never tell the whole story, nor do they always
could be solved if the great unwashed had less money to reason a scrawny seven year old touted at Tory wagons and tell the true story. While some might contest that they are
blow on fags, booze, and crisps and more time to be "strong supported Neil Kinnock's public sex acts. But this loyalty is the only way that government can tell what is happening,
fathers" to their lice-infested tearaway brats. misplaced. Labour's leadership are loyal to the same people this in itself demonstrates exactly where Labour have gone
Nevertheless, electing a Labour Party to government is who made millions at the expense of the miners, the dockers, wrong. What we see is that despite their best efforts, the state
no real boon for your average worker. May 1st 1997 was the print workers, the single mothers, and — yes — even the cannot do everything. Labour have tried to incorporate the
a mass revolt against corruption, prejudice, and hypocrisy. students during 18 years of Tory rule. individual, family, community, and society into the state,
But Labour made the rich even richer: the top one percent, If you still hate Thatcher, make sure you support the and they have failed. They have removed the human touch,
about 600,000 people increased their share of national working class organisations she tried to destroy, and not the turning life into an abstract system — a system which has
wealth from twenty, to twenty-four percent after seven years Labour Party she unwittingly created. now failed. In many ways, the Labour government is like
Microsoft Windows: it’s hopelessly insecure, keeps crashing,
and tries to force you to do things you didn’t want to do, but
To the Editors…
Dear Sir or Madam,
Glasgow University
I must take issue with James Foley's remarks
in the last issue of Guardian (Debate, p11). I
agree that the BNP represent a fascistic, racist 11th November 2008 Scottish Student Newspaper of the Year
organisation whose beliefs and aims are deplor- Suddenly this Autumn Hunger Strikes
able, but I cannot accept in good conscience Tom Bonnick reviews a Tenessee
Williams classic
Frank Lazarski praises Steve
McQueen's bold new work
Zoe Grams
that society need repress their views.
Falling
Arts Film
Democracy is inherently inclusive. It
represents an attempt to bring together the Glasgow When Glasgow looks as Dickensian and
ideas of everyone in society, not merely those welcomes Christmas-card perfect as it does at the
debris in
with views we find acceptable. Stopping them moment, I think everyone enjoys the pleasure
speaking devalues the very existence of demo- Dr. Rowan of watching the outside cold of winter from
Williams
Crichton
cratic institutions, as it leads to a talking shop inside a cosy flat. That is, providing you do
of those not purged. George Binning
actually have a cosy flat.
Fascism and other revolutionary ideologies The consequences of an unheated room
library
STUDENTS AND AFFILIATES
thrive in the underground. In the cold light of of Glasgow University were given
a rare glimpse into one of the most seem to quickly spread not only to your
democratic debate they shrivel away — witness respected minds in Britain when
the Archbishop of Canterbury, extremities, but your psyche, often leaving you
the failure of modern communism and anar- cold, snivelling, and feeling a little pathetic.
Dr. Rowan Williams, visited the
campus.
chism. The BNP’s ideology is similarly intel- It’s a state that most students experience at
The Archbishop appeared in
conversation with Professor Mona
Louver tumbles from wall mounting Siddiqui, Director of Glasgow’s
lectually moribund: beyond a generic “hurrah Staff insist situation has been resolved
Centre for the Study of Islam,
in front of a packed Bute hall
some time or other, at the hands of potentially
for whites, blame the darkies” mentality it has on Wednesday 29th October. Prof.
Siddiqui introduced the Archbishop
callous or ineffective landlords.
little else to offer. Where they've had success George Binning & Ishbel Begg Laura Hill, states that debris had
fallen from the library ceiling in the
and described how the ‘Building
Bridges’ project upon which they
Second year saw me squeezed into as many
it's been based on local issues — promising to CRICHTON CAMPUS' NEWLY
opened £37 million super campus
extreme weather conditions.
She said: “One piece of lining
had been working since 2003 had
brought their paths together. layers of clothing as humanly possible, with a
fix drains and streetlights as councillors — or duvet-turned-jacket preposterously close to
was evacuated, after pieces of wooden was eventually blown so strongly She said: “It is a huge honour
cladding fell from heights of up to 30 that it forced a louver from its posi- for me to welcome Archbishop
Harry Tattersall Smith learns to toughen up with boxing's latest phenomenon, Muay Thai
I’ve probably never been more macho. I’m The session ends with a series of ridicu-
off fighting. Generally speaking I’m probably lously soul destroying sit ups. Of course I’m
not the most intimidating person. But that’s all wedged in between two Adonises, and as they
about to change, I’ve spent the day working on nonchalantly make a mockery of the fitness
my fighting face which I hope will give me any regime, I’m left looking like an up-ended
psychological edge in battle, stun my opponent, turtle, kicking, flapping and generally looking
and thus give me time to heroically flee from pathetic whilst I curse my body's refusal to
danger. co-operate.
I guess I always thought fighting and univer- I speak to Alastair which proves to be
sity was a bit of a paradox. Our nations future quite depressing really as while I fight with
bashing the living daylights out of each other. my growing sense of nausea, I can’t spy even
My ignorance, however, is about to be knocked the faintest sign of perspiration on him. As he
out of me, literally, as I head off to train with enthusiastically chats about the growing invest-
one of the university’s fastest growing clubs: ment and influence of Muay Thai in Scotland,
Muay Thai. I’m bent double with aching muscles which
I’m also coming along to meet one of have seen eighteen years of neglect.
the club's stars and captain, Alastair Rankin, Alastair talks of the clubs exponential
who is fast establishing himself as one of the growth since its formation eight years ago, and
country's top up-and-coming fighters. Fresh Jim Wilson finally after years of organisational chaos how
from the success of his debut professional bout absolutely loved it,” he says. The training is relentless, two hours of the club is really starting to move forward:
against Ewan Irvine, Rankin cuts an imposing The hours of tough graft certainly paid breathless kicking and punching, which at “We’ve finally got ourselves sorted with GUSA
figure. The media skirmishes that seem to off as he triumphed with an unanimous points the end have me staggering around like I’ve funding, which will allow us to get loads of
surround modern day boxing bouts had me half victory in his first appearance at the presti- just seen fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson. It’s new pads and gloves.”
expecting Rankin to be brash and ballsy, with gious Glasgow Muay Thai extravaganza Where exhausting stuff but I guess the maxim ‘no pain He also makes clear how important this
a love of the ‘Ali-esque’ one liner and an even Eagles Dare competition. no gain’ is probably at its most profound here. funding will be for the club: “You saw today
greater love of speaking in third person; but he In the same manner ‘waxing on and off’ In the course of the evening I’m left with how much of our current gear is in tatters.” He
talks with such genuine enthusiasm and warmth saw karate explode kicking and screaming two war wounds. A kick to the stomach – alleg- isn’t lying. As I spar away, I’m rather conscious
that I really can’t imagine him in a fight. into our consciousness in the 80’s, the Muay edly accidental, which leaves me gasping on that every time I throw a punch, my partner is
His fighting regime involved intense Thai led dominance of Ultimate Fighting the ground, and rather instantaneously dispels gradually being enveloped in mask of whitish
training that pushed him to a level of fitness he Championship (UFC) – which I’m reliably the growing notion that I had been devel- foam which he seems far too polite to wipe
never thought possible. In order to reach his informed is the most extreme fighting on the oping that I was in fact an untapped fighting away.
ideal weight, Rankin was forced to shed 7 kilos planet, and Youtube inspection does nothing to machine. That and a cut knuckle, which I hope Rankin speaks jovially and with the
in a gruelling regime which saw him in the gym dissuade me from this belief – has led to a surge to surreptitiously brandish as often as possible resources and enthusiasm I’ve seen tonight, I
or in the ring for 3 hours a day, 6 days a week in the sports popularity as people look for more as a means of fooling people into thinking I’m certainly wouldn’t argue with him. And if you
for 5 weeks: “The training was tough but I exotic ways to stay in shape. mysterious and dangerous. want to? He’ll totally kick your ass.
Dougie Thoms
of the day and being awarded both the Fours The women’s side of the club also placed potential for the coming months.” The results firmly establish GUBC at the
trophy and unusually, a traditional set of favourably. The novice girls had outstanding Men’s captain Dougie Thoms was also top of the Scottish Universities Winter League.
antlers for the quickest boat. The squad’s other rows despite it being their first major competi- pleased with the crews’ competitive perfor- With a tough winter’s training ahead, the boat
strong performances, including victory for the tion. Women’s novice coach Chris Heaps said mances, telling Guardian: club’s focus now shifts to Eights racing, with a
men in the Novice Fours event, demonstrated afterwards: “It was an overall promising set of results trip to the Tyne at the end of the month for a
the crew’s continuing strength as the season “It was an excellent first performance from which definitely provided a solid base to build real test against Durham and Newcastle’s top
progresses. the girls and showed that the squad have lots of on for the important races next spring.” rowing crews.
Jim Wilson
Suzi Higton
Changelina Jolie
Clint Eastwood's new epic
impresses the critics
03/12/08
inSIGHT
Glasgow University
inSIGHT arts
03/12/08
R
Back for the third time, the Citizens' evived for its 50th anniversary, and brief- fertile source of mockery — all that prancing and steps becoming pastiche or parody of the well-loved
Community Company perform their ly in Glasgow as part of a world tour that clicking — and little else, and yet on stage it is film. The prevailing racism of the Jets gang remains
annual irreverent dig at all things has earned global acclaim, the arrival of truly spectacular; flirting with tongue in cheek but as shocking as it has ever been, never more than in
festive with a look at a variety of West Side Story — frequently described never camp. This production, by now finely-honed the climactic, terrible rape of Anita, and the sudden
Christmas tales. with breathless hyperbole of the “best musical to a sharp point, features choreography, voices, explosion of violence after incipient, brewing
ever” variety — to each new city carries the weight set design and music which are all as technically tension acts a powerful emotional conceit.
Citizen's Theatre of ever-increasing, overwhelming expectation. perfect as one could ever expect. Sofia Escobaras as Maria is particularly efficient;
Wed. 10th December - Sat. 13th Few — if any — other dramas could survive Under the direction of Joey McKneely, the story naïve and seductive by turn, and though, along
December such attention. However, Leonard Bernstein, with Lana Gordon’s Anita, the female leads tend to
£10 Stephen Sondheim and Jerome Robbins have eclipse Ryan Silverman’s portrayal of Tony — which
created a story that is not only hugely ambitious in
“The story has a renewed sense often comes across as rather dull — the chemistry
its execution, but also robust enough to withstand a of urgency, and adeptly sidesteps between the leads is convincing enough to be
half-century of scrutiny — though of course, a little becoming pastiche or parody” enjoyable.
Spectacular credit must go to Mr. Shakespeare for providing the If nothing else, this production has proven that
original material of Romeo and Juliet. the story still contains a vitality and relevance that
A new production from Forced I had always thought of West Side Story as a has a renewed sense of urgency, and adeptly side- puts most modern musicals to shame.
Entertainment, Spectacular, led by
Artistic Director Tim Etchells, is a
unique show that slowly winds the
audience into the world of a missing
performance.
Tramway
Thu. 4th December - Sat. 6th
December
£6 - £10
Theatre
The Tailor of Inverness
B
Zajac's Polish father's experiences
eauty is, that old maxim goes, in the eye of the beholder, and with Drawing in part on a rich tradition of physical comedy in the Charlie
during World War II and subsequent
the exception of Julianne Moore, whose beauty is wholly objective, Chaplin/ Buster Keaton mode, the show, directed by Slava himself, gracefully
life in Scotland.
this has always been one cliché I have subscribed to. Bearing that in brings together a whole series of characters, themes and ideas.
mind, it was with feathers a’ ruffled that I attended Slava’s The sheer, brilliant talent of the performers is at once both
Tron Theatre Snowshow. “This is the single most beautiful thing I absolutely crucial to the production, whilst also being
Sat. 24th January - Sun. 25th January have ever seen in a theatre in my life”, screamed artfully understated — the other major element
£12.50 Simon Callow in the press release. Who are of the evening, grand visual display, chiefly
you, I thought, other than an award winning featuring snow — would fall flat without
actor, writer and director, to tell me what’s the anarchic spirit of Slava and his
beautiful, Callow? fellow clowns, and yet they act in a
The Snow Queen Thankfully, my passive-aggressive sort of deference to larger spec-
phases never last long, and this one tacle, bringing an endearing
This re-telling of the children's classic quickly subsided to gave way to a bout humility to their characters.
The Snow Queen is brought to life with of furiously wracking the brain to think The choice of music is at
visual effects, puppetry, live music and of things which were, in fact, more times perplexingly incon-
atmospheric performances, directed beautiful than what I was witnessing gruous with the action —
by Al Seed and starring Morag Stark on stage. If any comparison could and truly, Carmina Burana
be drawn to Slava’s Snowshow it ought to be banned from
as the Snow Queen
would be with Cirque Du Soleil — use on stage, such is its
a troop to which the eponymous chronic overuse — but
Arches Theatre clown once belonged — except that is mere aside. Unless
Wed. 3rd December - Sun. 4th that this does away with all I ever marry, or live within
January the acrobatic nonsense, binocular range of, Julianne
£4 - £8 and demonstrates instead Moore, this really could be the
proper clowning at its most beautiful thing I will ever
purest; as a true art form. see on stage. (Tom Bonnick)
inSIGHT
3
arts
PA G E
Truth and Beauty Bombs
Lucy Humphreys gets sucked into offbeat cartoon series A Softer World, and the lives of its creators
A
Softer World is a three panel comic created by Canadian basis, the photos usually come first (I make up a few comics at a time J: We don't worry about it, really. We just write what we think is
duo Emily Horne and Joey Comeau, with a ranging focus; and send them to Joey, he uses them in whatever order he likes). good, and put that up. If Emily has a concern with it, I'll scrap it or
from the sexual, to the eccentric and the existential. Often Do you and Joey ever disagree about the correlation of the rework it, but it's never, “Oh, this one might offend part of our demo-
working apart, Horne takes the photographs and Comeau words to the pictures? graphic,” because there will always be someone that is offended by
attaches the captions. The pair display the pieces via A Softer World's E: Joey works out his ideas for the text, and if I happen to be something. No, the veto usually is based on, “This isn't any good.”
website, which has weekly additions, and have had their work fea- around he runs them by me before they go online. It's rare that I'd That's the important question.
tured in The Guardian and Rolling Stone. totally reject an idea, but sometimes it gets edited a bit before it What is the strangest thing someone has ever asked you?
The comics are only consistent in their refusal to be predictable goes up. He also will try it out on a few friends first; to make sure the E: Being a Lady on the Internet, it is inevitable that you get some
— they demand humour from the unnerving, and if they do not raise meaning — or meanings — are clear. The photos are rarely perfectly strange emails. I once had someone ask, seemingly sincerely, for a
a smile they will at least provoke a thought. Anyone could find offence illustrative of what is going on in the text, but we try to make sure blowjob for her “friend”. It would mean the world to him, apparently.
in their work — and this is precisely what makes it interesting. The there is some kind of connection there. Were you happy with the outcome of the American election?
views expressed in the strips are not those of the creators, but those Are there any comics in particular which you think reflect your Who did you want to win?
of their characters, who demand your attention. They encourage you own personality? J: Who do YOU want to win the World Championship of Chess?
to recognise the farce of everyday existence; often, they are not funny, J: Yes, all of the comics reflect our personalities — even the ones What happens when the comics run out?
but are always interesting. that seemingly oppose one another. We are deeply conflicted, very E: Luckily, there are always more photos to be taken and captions
So, how did it all start? broken people. to be made. We don't have any plans to finish ASW soon, but I guess
E: Joey started making comics using photos copied from maga- Do you think about your audience when you are writing the we'll have to go get real jobs SOMETIME.
zines in 2002, and when he realised that the possibilities were some- comics? Do you ever worry about whether they are politically To read more visit www.asofterworld.com. Artworks reproduced
what limited we decided to use my photos instead. On a week-to-week correct or not? courtesy of Joey Comeau and Emily Horne.
Tears to the eye potency for yourself, just head down to a local be-
ginners’ night and prepare to have your convictions
Kay has recently succeeded in elevating himself
above other exploitative nostalgia-merchants by
says something that a minority group is bound
to find offensive directly to, or within earshot of,
completely smashed to pieces. means of purging his latest material of comedy a member of said minority group, silence ensues
You thought shallow dissection of gender itself, ingeniously presenting audiences with and a camera zooms in on the bemused faces of
differences was as edgy as it got? Well, just wait 'til carbon copies of things that they recognise, effec- all present. His varied body of work explores long
your hear these mavericks 'riffing on the, admit- tively cutting out the problematic middle man. held notions of acceptability, while calling to mind
tedly inaccurate, differences between the people But that's just one way to stay ahead of the established classics, largely because he is tirelessly
of Glasgow and Edinburgh. It's like men from Edin- game. Indeed, more and more comedians are comparing himself to ground-breaking innovators,
burgh are all like “oh yah,” while Glaswegians talk in adopting exciting new methods of crafting material under the assumption that people who haven't
>> Lewis Porteous broad Scottish accents and utter expletives! Don't so that they may no longer feel the need to fret over seen the latter's work and are only familiar with
T
write in to the Guardian asking how they come up what the industry refers to as ‘the joke problem’. their gleaming reputations will just give him the
here is nothing I enjoy more than queu- with this gold; just go see for yourself before the When ‘Sunday Night Project’ sensation Alan Carr benefit of the doubt.
ing for longer than advertised, voluntar- well dries up. The more mercurial comedians may mused, during his recent ‘The Secret Policeman's Of course Sweet Lady Success is a cruel mistress
ily entering a poorly ventilated fire-trap even throw in some crass generalisations about Ball’ set, that a bipolar acquaintance didn't even and can be fleeting. It's consequently of great
with inadequate seating facilities and Aberdeen and Dundee, if you're lucky. These could have a personality to split in the first place, he importance that artists keep abreast of and evolve
subjecting myself to the lies, tired shock tactics range from “they're all like ‘oh it's so c-c-c-c-cold brought the house down, proving that misdirected with changing socio-political climates. Sure, right
and thinly-veiled self-publication of a disappoint- this far up north’” to “oh, I'm so hungry, I could really malice and a sexually unambiguous persona are now it looks as though there's a lot of mileage to be
ingly ineloquent stranger who all the while insists use some marmalade, one of my city's most noto- ample substitutes for wit, logic and effort, as far as a had in exploring attitudes to reality TV, incorrectly
on maintaining the embarrassing ‘illusion’ of spon- rious exports,” respectively. Details that you'd need crowd of baying idiots is concerned. understood mental illness and contrived awkward-
taneity throughout the overlong affair. Yes, it's fair a really keen eye to spot, you know? Still, purists can rest easy: mainstream comedy ness, but Kay, Carr and Gervais take note: there's a
to say that British stand-up comedy has entered With our independent comedy clubs fostering a is still capable of pushing boundaries without going new wave of great comics — at a club near you —
something of a golden age, and is finally establish- staggering array of prodigious new talent, Britain's down the path of the aforementioned pair's superb, who'll purport that they first understood the term
ing itself in the eyes of the public as the vital, cere- mainstream comedy elite cannot afford to rest on conceptual meta-comedy. For those of you unfa- ‘credit crunch’ to be the name of breakfast cereal, or
bral art form we fans have long regarded it as. If you their laurels and this is shown in their increasingly miliar with the work of the inimitable Ricky Gervais, biscuit, or crisps or whatever! They're the future —
are yet to experience stand-up's taboo-shattering challenging TV work. The astonishingly prolific Peter the best way it can be summed up is thus: someone adapt or die. A golden age indeed.
inSIGHT lifeScience of self-realisation
03/12/08
+
Cancerous Capers
W
ho are you? Are you your body? Or was aimed at spreading the ‘Krishna Conscious- (full-time monk) involves getting up at four in the
your mind? Or are you something ness’ to few more members of the public. Stop- morning, then meditating, chanting the Krishna
higher? Do you really know who you ping just short of packing my tent, a chair and mantra, dancing and playing music until breakfast
are? Does it really matter? Our mate- some loo roll into my rucksack I eagerly gravi- at eight thirty. After breakfast its bookselling until
>> Jamie Ross rialistic society, with its un-enlightened leadership, tated towards the promise of self-realisation. six, then chanting, dancing and meditating until
has made it virtually taboo to inquire into our real Whatever people say about them, and eight. Everyone is in bed by ten apparently.
This time last year, I was exactly the same as higher self. people say a lot, I was not assaulted on all sides The Hare Krishna movement has been known
many of you reading this. A rosy-cheeked, eight- Written on the back of their leaflet, these are by vicious evangelism. I managed to discuss and to draw people away from what they would call
een-year-old fresher being gradually corrupted by the sort of questions the Hare Krishnas hope to question the religion without feeling as though the ‘material world’, but they claim to be blissfully
all that Glasgow University had to offer. I prowled answer for you. It turns out, to put it as briefly as I was banging my head against a brick wall of happy and “nourished’ by their lifestyle. They came
the disconcertingly sticky floors of The Hive, too possible, that we don’t know who we are, we are lunacy. I was grateful too that my faux-pas of across as a charming, if eccentric, group of spiritual-
inebriated to notice that it had already claimed in fact something higher and that our materialistic wearing a leather jacket was politely not seized ists. I may not be clamoring to join their ranks, but I
both of my shoes. I insisted that my friends take a society doesn’t really matter. upon, even when discussing diet. remain open minded to the transcendental glories
photo of me emerging from the giant stone vagina Krishna Fest, a relatively low-key sort of festival, The average day of a Krishna Devotee of Gouranga.
next to the Boyd Orr building on each and every
occasion that I left Cheesy Pop, genuinely believing
that each time was more funny than the last. I stole
traffic cones, road signs and all forms of parapher-
nalia designed specifically for public safety. You
could say that I embodied everything that makes
society look down upon students. That was until
July 31st of this year, when I was diagnosed with
Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - cancer of the lymph nodes.
This might have acted as a convenient distrac-
tion for my parents if I had failed my exams, but I
had actually achieved a set of results that were
described, somewhat dismissively, as ‘satisfactory’
by Websurf. Consequently, I had to ask the univer-
sity if I could postpone my studies for a year, cancel
the lease on my lovely new flat and settle back into
the nest I had flown from less than a year before.
Evidently, I was entirely incapable of handling
the responsibility of living without my parents. George Binning
They couldn’t turn their backs on me for a second
E
gave him cancer’ be a cautionary tale to all.
Facing six months of intensive chemotherapy, x-Deputy Assistant Commissioner for Met- McLean. Would you really know if I had invented entertaining no matter who is foolish enough to
I saw two very different roads open up before me. ropolitan Police. No, you haven’t stum- one of these names myself? And would you care? attempt it.
One option was to collapse within myself in an bled across a job vacancy, these six words The real question is not how famous each celebrity Classic game-shows such as ‘Family Fortunes’,
implosion of self-pity, never get out of bed and eat are Brian Paddick’s claim to fame and ITV’s would like to think they are but in fact why we need ‘Play Your Cards Right’ and ‘The Generation Game’
nothing but Kettle Chips with salty tears running feeble attempt to provide a jungle full of recognis- celebrities at all. Humiliation does not differentiate never needed celebrities to be popular. And wasn’t
down my face. The other was to embrace the situa- able faces. And joining him are such memorable between the privileged and the public. The idea it more fun to watch Julie from Leeds gamble all
tion, to go through the experience with a skip in my figures as Joe Swash, David Van Day and Nicola of stealing eggs in a pen full of ostriches is just as her money to eventually lose and go home with
step and to use it as an opportunity to explore my nothing but a ‘Blankety Blank’ cheque-book and
curiosity for writing - whilst also never getting out pen? While ‘I’m a Celebrity’ has a fairly entertaining
of bed and eating nothing but Kettle Chips. This is premise, it is not justifiable to pay each personality
exactly what has happened, and what brings me to a small fortune when less money could be used as
our wonderful student newspaper a slightly fatter a cash prize for contestants from the Great British
man than I was three months ago. public to humiliate themselves in the same way.
With this column, you have the opportunity to Not to mention that a parent, schoolteacher or
track my progress, thoughts and experiences as I brick-layers might benefit slightly more from the
undergo my chemotherapy and whatever other £40, 000 that Dani Behr is reputed to have collected
nonsense I’m subjected to - which so far seems to for entering the jungle.
consist of spending an inexplicably large amount Perhaps the problem of Saturday night televi-
of time completely Billy Bollocks in hospital with a sion is not simply our craving for celebrity but our
never-ending merry-go-round of old men gawping cultural insistence on something for nothing. Chil-
at my naked form. As a synopsis, I know the diary dren no longer want to be musicians or actors but
of a teenage cancer patient may not sound like a simply famous, the vehicle to that status being no
ripping good laugh but I do aim to entertain aswell longer important. It is now the case that a whole
as inform. Unfortunately, I will most likely fail at career can be made from selling one's story of
both. Luckily for me, however, you can’t criticise me heartbreak or of sickness to the media. Invent your
because I have cancer and that would make you an own fragrance, market your own jeans and when
awful, thoughtless monster. your career threatens to slump into a quiet lull,
Until next time, take care cancer fans. Jim Wilson flash your delicates while stepping out of a taxi.
inSIGHT
5
life
PA G E
Kool, calm and collected
Yo Ho Ho
Michelle Williams takes a look at the subtle side of fine dining in Glasgow.
No no, such shameless self-promotion The Persian section of the menu
offends our sensibilities — we prefer a centres around barbeque style cooking,
good modest, unpretentious sort. We offering a healthier alternative to much
want unsung acts of charity; we want of the Indian food served in alternative
unprecedented talent hidden behind restaurants. Indian dishes on the menu
bashful self-deprecation. are more subtly spiced than equivalent >> David Kirkpatrick
The same premise can be applied to recipes you might be accustomed to,
restaurant dining. The most successful but this deliberate step has been taken Denial is a river in Egypt and I’m in it
establishments caress us into a in order to give full attention to the up to my neck. For weeks now I’ve been
wonderful experience without needing quality of the ingredients in each dish, ignoring adverts for Iceland mini platters
to point out that we’re having a good rather than overpowering them with and turning a blind eye to the seasonal
time, or eating spectacular food. Koolba, chillies. The delicious platter we tasted, funfair in George Square. However,
located in the Merchant City achieves comprising barbequed chicken, vege- walking into town a billboard for Coca
KoolBa this understated quality with aplomb. table curry, chicken chatt and feather Cola caught my eye and officially started
Serving a fusion of Persian and Indian light naans, came with recommenda- my crimbo countdown. Twenty years
cuisine, this family run restaurant puts its tions from the carefully chosen wine list, old and already filled with the cynicism
emphasis on sourcing local, high quality picked to complement lightly spiced of Janet Street Porter, there’s something
ingredients, prepared with a genuine food — a thoughtful touch to round off about Cola’s jovial Santa that forces my
devotion to excellence. Brothers Cesar a wonderfully understated experience. face into a big smile which is just not the
KoolBa KoolBa has kindly offered staff and done thing when on your own. How that
“Such shameless acts of
N
students of Glasgow uni 20% off their shiny red convoy of trucks bringing ice
oone likes a show off. The ventional routes to making friends. They self-promotion offend food bill upon production of a valid matric cold beverages to wee punters up way
fastest route to securing can’t both be right about being the best, card (December 2008 and February 14th past their bedtime ever became synony-
eternal public hatred is sure- and after such shameless crowing, one our sensibilities” excluded, valid until 30/06/2008). Also, mous with the Christmas message is
ly to take the most un-British is more than inclined to suspect that if you book your graduation dinner at beyond me. What I do know is that those
of steps, and point your merits out for all neither of them is. We can’t even forgive and Fattah are reverently proud of their KoolBa before 31st July 2009 (quoting zealous coke addicts humming ‘holidays
the world to hear. Take the over-inflated such behaviour in those with a back endeavour, eager to stress the thought ‘Glasgow Graduation Party Offer’), receive are coming’ fills me with the same kind
egos of the likes of Johnny Borrell and catalogue genuinely worth shouting put into the concise menu; our dishes 20% off your food bill plus a free glass of of excitement that hearing newscasters
Kanye West — declaring yourself as the about; Ringo Starr’s brusque rejection of arrive with an earnest promise that the sparkling wine for you and each of your
greatest songwriter of your generation, future fan mail on the grounds of being rice is naturally coloured with saffron, as guests upon arrival. “We’re losing polar
109-113 Candleriggs, Glasgow.
or portraying yourself as Jesus on the too busy is sure to have earned him bags though the very thought of an artificial
bears, and yet still can’t
cover of Rolling Stone are hardly con- full of far less desirable correspondence. alternative would deeply offend. 0141 55 22 777
shake Kerry Katona.”
I’m too sexy for my shirt say the word pirates in a serious manner
does. And by serious manner, I mean
Ben Freeman considers the perils of overt sexual imagary in the fashion industry. without saying yar or matey seconds
T
later. A concerned party may remind us
he fashion industry is unarguably one of enne Westwood sent topless models sashaying that they have guns and that people’s
the most sexually charged arenas in the down the catwalk at this year’s London Fashion lives, including that of two Britons, are
world (trumped only by the steel miners, Week. Although Ford’s images are shocking — and at risk. And I would agree that the situ-
of course), but does the use of nudity and to some, obscene — they do still evoke a form ation calls cause for concern. A boat full
sexual images cheapen fashion advertising? It is of glamour, separating soft porn from art and of experienced seamen, held hostage
difficult to open a magazine without being con- summing up the heart of the matter. I don’t really for days now and still no one’s thought
fronted with suggestive images, breast and occa- care if I’m looking at nubile bodies engaged in of Parlay. What are the schools teaching
sionally even (gasp) a penis! Is this liberalisation of a sexual act or a beautiful suit as long as they are them? Jokes aside, there’s still a part of
imagery a good thing, or are we being desensitised glamorous and are photographed well. me that against my better nature takes
to shocking images? However, how does one judge brands using pleasure in the fact that pirates still
It is important to note that this trend is not a sexually explicit images that aren’t particularly exist. I can’t envision the story without
modern one. The 1970s saw the first sexualisation of glam? For me. American Apparel (AA) is in the docks picturing a swarm of patches and peg
fashion as the mods of the 60s had gone the same over this issue. Their campaigns feature young legs swinging aboard, stroking their
way as the blondes of the 50s. This new age was the girls scantily clad, splayed in compromising posi- beards and swearing that there be
era where sexual beasts dominated the industry in tions. But if Gucci or Tom Ford can get away with treasure in them there waters.
the shape of Janice Dickinson and Gia Carangi. The it then why can’t AA? Well, because AA’s images An encounter with old world bandits
next generation of supers saw voluptuous beauties aren’t beautiful or glamorous. In fact they are kind later, if you still can’t dare to dream, walk
such as Claudia Schiffer, Cindy Crawford et al. Who of seedy. The girls featured — deliberately chosen a mile in John Sergeant’s two left shoes.
can forget the shot of Claudia Schiffer nude on the for their borderline, age-of-consent appearance — That rotund Romeo has fumbled his way
beach — sexy and glamorous, still oozing an arty often look like drug addicts in a dirty bedsit. Their across those buffed floorboards and into
air of class. pictures create an air of amateur pornography, a nation’s heart. In a land that’s losing
Today, nudity in advertising and fashion maga- making adverts that, though apparently devoid of jobs, losing faith, losing polar bears,
zines has progressed, offering a plethora of nude tasteful glamour, succeed in generating a power- and yet still can’t shake Kerry Katona,
images from the fashion industry, each seeming fully gritty, sexual image for the brand. That atti- it’s nice to know that this Christmas you
to raise the shock value bar on the last. Tom Ford tude explains why David Beckham’s Armani shots could still be commandeered by swash-
is a prime example, using both full frontal female are amazing; he looks H-O-T and the campaign is buckling buccaneers and clumsy oafs
and male nudes to advertise his wears. Established completely glamorous. And that, my friends, is can dance their way to stardom. A Coca
brands such as Chanel use nudity to advertise their where the difference lies. The key to credibility is all Cola truck even might, just might, drive
jewellery, and the Grand old Dame of fashion Vivi- in the context. figleaves.com down your street. If only you believe.
inSIGHT the interview
03/12/08
think the more mellow and odd the first hour or two are, then the
more weird stuff I can get away with at peak-time too. So you’re
just setting up the mood — every night is different, because every
venue’s different; different crowds. It’s just the way people attract in
that space — it might have a really comfortable bar area which means
people might want to chat for the first hour or two, which is cool, so
I’ll just play it really low. Sometimes people are straight on the dance-
floor — quite often the way people behave when they first come into
the space dictates what I do.
Yes extremely, I never plan anything. That’s half the fun really
— I can get properly into it and I haven’t got a clue what’s going to
happen.
A
ndy Carthy (aka Mr Scruff ) is generally
recognised as one of the foremost expo- So what do you think about the state of popular music at the
nents of ‘quirk’ in modern music. Since moment?
the release of his first single in the mid-
nineties, he has cemented his own reputation as an I think with music in general, there’s so much of it about nowa-
individual artist, both with his successful recording days, but the amount of good stuff seems to have remained constant
career and famous DJ sets. Chatting before a Glas- for the last thirty or forty years, it’s just the amount of general-average
gow appearance at the Arches on the back of new and terrible music has increased by a thousand. There’s so much more
album ‘Ninja Tuna’, he confirmed his reputation as stuff you have to wade through. Whereas twenty years ago I would
a true music purist and a lovely chap. On topics have been able to listen to and individually appraise every single new
varying from tea and fish to the subtleties of DJ release, now I can probably only get through 5% of it. So much stuff is
performance, Scruff exuded a genuine charm getting released which really shouldn’t be, out of people’s bedrooms.
and a formidable enthusiasm for his work. Or the Myspace thing where everyone’s just shoving their music in
your face. It’s like: ‘I’ve had a computer for an hour, here’s my first tune.’
Why do you choose to play such long sets? It used to be that you’d wait till you got to a certain standard where
(six hours) you were confident that your music’s alright, then you let that out into
the public. So I think a bit more editing from music makers would be
I’ve done that pretty much every gig for good. I mean the whole music industry is kind of in disarray, but that’s
the last ten years now. I like warming up, not a bad thing. I’m sure it’ll sort itself out, and the people who’ll sort
creating the mood for the evening. I like it it out will be people who’ve grown up with this new way of making
to be quite relaxing, then once you’ve got and distributing music.
people comfortable you can do what you
want after that.
There’s a track on your new album with Roots Manuva. When we
talked to him about a month ago he was bemoaning the fact that
It’s almost like you’re your own warm-up you two have never got it together to do a whole album. is that
act. something you’d be interested in?
Definitely. I like playing really mellow Well, I’ve thought about it. He’s a guy with a lot of ideas, but he’s
stuff — other people’s idea of a warm — always really busy. He tends to be in the studio full-on for his album,
Luke Winter up is stuff I would play at peak-time. I he’s got nippers and stuff so he’s a busy family man, and then he goes
inSIGHT
7
PA G E
with Mr. Scruff
to discuss a love of tea, six-hour sets and the state of modern music
on tour and proper hammers it. Then he’s just exhausted and disap- ermen or anything aquatic. People were sending me stuff as well, you clubs in general is you’ll get one thing and it generally won’t be very
pears, to reappear maybe a year later to do another album, on that know - Salmon Fishing the ‘whoever’ way. So you might have five or good quality. The range of influences that popular music especially
cycle. So he’s a really difficult guy to pin down, you’ll ring him one day six different sources in one sentence, all from different records and draws on seems so limited. There’s so much amazing music all over
and you’ll get him, then you won’t speak to him for months. But he’s a different people. You could get the tones and the cadence of the the world, which over time has all gone into feeding this huge pot of
very individual character, so hopefully — but I reckon an album would speech right so that it worked like a sentence, but also worked well music that we all draw from, but still people are only focusing on 1
take us about 40 years to make. Unless we just said ‘right well, you over the beat so it was in time with the music. So that satisfied the or 2%, or that latest big thing, a lot of which is Electro and Clash-up
come over to Manchester, or I’ll go down to London, or over to Shef- kind of geeky editing side as well. It was obviously a great laugh to at the moment - a lot of bad versions of New Wave. A lot of that was
field or wherever you are and we’ll get stuck in’. But yes, that’s a good do, but very painstaking as well. great music thirty years ago and it’s being enjoyed by people who
one, so you might be the catalyst for the Scruff–Manuva album. weren’t around the first time, but all the same mistakes seem to be
being made again. You know, Dubstep seems to be repeating a lot of
“So much stuff is getting released which really Throughout the history of recorded music the tools have often the bad mistakes of Drum n Bass, it just seems to creep in on itself, or
shouldn’t be, out of people’s bedrooms. Or shaped the sound. Is there a particular piece of equipment or feed off itself a bit too much.
instrument that’s crucial to your sound?
the Myspace thing, where everyone's just
shoving their music in your face” Not really, I’ve kind of moved through different equipment. I’ve How have you managed to balance having a diversity of sound
always used quite basic set-ups. I used to use the MPC60, and that without it being incoherent? Does the mixing of genres not risk
Tell us about the tea thing. was about twenty years old. There’s no automatic stuff on it, but the making it difficult for the crowd to get really into the music?
restrictions on that machine definitely helped to shape my style. But
The tea thing started from obviously being obsessed with tea, but you’re absolutely right, Lee Perry’s records wouldn’t have sounded Well, what is a genre, you know? Generally you have a number
that’s nothing unusual in this country. I started to sell tea at my resi- like they did if he hadn’t had a posh 24-track. You just want some of stylistic motifs, maybe a style of production or a style of drums or
dency about 9 years ago. We had a little teashop in the corner, there equipment that sounds good, and you don’t have to fiddle with too instrumentation. So if you trace the family tree back in any kind of
was just a little spare room that wasn’t really suitable for a second much, then you work within the parameters that you get given. I think music you’ve immediately got relatives that do actually have a lot
room for another DJ, so I thought we should pipe the music through if you have rooms full of equipment, either you’re never going to get in common. If you take Dubstep, it has a lot in common with basic-
from the main room, sell tea and give the money to charity. It was anything done, or you’re only going to use two or three things. channel Techno, Digidub and a lot of 70’s Steppers. Straight away you
one of those things where people walked in and thought “Bloody have four different kinds of music. So rather than thinking, “I’m going
hell, I can get a brew”, and even if people didn’t want tea, they walked to play half an hour of Dubstep”, you’re thinking “Well that bass-line
in and smiled, because it was something they weren’t expecting. It It’s like bands with twenty guitars on stage. would work with…” Sometimes it’s easy, for example you think, I like
provided the best drink of the day for people who either were driving this Johnny Chimpo release, ‘Children of Israel’, which is a wicked tune,
or wanted to take a break from boozing or whatever. Then a few years Yes, it’s a bit unnecessary really, although I’ve got like a thousand but it takes a big sample from the Dennis Brown tune of the same
later, when we started touring, we wanted to take pretty much the records on stage — but I’ll play at least half. name, so straight away you can get from up to the minute Dubstep to
whole club. So over a few years gradually I started getting renowned Roots music from 1978. They’re both the same tempo, they’re in the
as the guy who sells tea at his gigs. Then we started doing festivals same key, and both have really heavy bass.
like the Big Chill, WOMAD [World of Music and Dance] and Glaston- Do you go out for music events much yourself?
bury, and doing a tea stall there — I happened to be DJing at those
festivals too, but the tea stall was there for the whole weekend, so it Yes I go out to clubs all the time, and see a lot of bands and stuff. Are you someone who plays music yourself?
became something that kind of stood by itself. So it got to a point I think it’s really important to be a punter as well. Otherwise how can
where, rather than just being an add-on to the club, it stood up by you create an environment where people are going to enjoy them- Not really, I make music in the way that I type, with one hand
itself as well, so we thought: “Why don’t we do our own tea?” We were selves? Which is why I’m very particular when I go to a club. I like scratching my head, and the other one with one finger on the
selling thousands of cups to people at festivals. So we did a bit, well a good sound-system, I don’t like lights, I like to get a decent beer keyboard. I’m not afraid to get stuck in, I can find my way round a
a lot, of research over a couple of years, and released a tea brand. It’s or brew at the bar, I like clean toilets, not having to queue for ages, keyboard, and I can chop it up afterwards to make it sound like I know
quite odd that it’s happened out of one daft decision to do a teashop having room to dance… All these things I make sure happen at my what I’m doing. I quite like wonky, out of time playing, so quite often
in a dirty little club in Manchester, and seven years later we’re selling nights. I don’t like dancing and treading on dropped beer bottles or when I get session musicians in, I’ll be bumping into them trying to
tea in Selfridges. having people barge past because there’s no way round the dance- make them play wrong notes and stuff. It’s just making sure it’s not
floor, just things like that. So it’s making sure at my nights to eliminate too clean, when music’s not quite there, when there’s something a
things I don’t like from other people’s nights. little bit wrong about it, sometimes that’s what makes it intriguing. So
Apart from tea, the other theme in your career seems to be fish. yxs luckily I can manage that without too much trouble,
Same again, just one daft decision in a studio fifteen years ago — I Would you say there is a political or social message behind your
sampled a lyric about a whale, and then straight after I finished that music? What’s next in terms of your studio work?
tune it came out as my first EP, and I found loads of other samples
which I wished I’d used in it. I found all these fish samples and I Not really, apart from celebrating my enthusiasm about other Just carry on, I’m not going to stop recording, obviously a bit less
though “Damn, I wish I’d had these when I was in the studio”, because people’s music. It’s the other side of the coin from the DJ set, so if because I’m on tour now, but I’m always in the studio a few days every
I didn’t go in with the intention of making any kind of fish tune. In you’re getting people into different kinds of music, you’ve done month. I did have a studio at home, in the cellar, but it kept flooding,
those days I used to go into the studio with a bag of like, ten records something – but that’s not really political. so I got the stuff out of the house. Half of the studio kit I use on tour
and make a tune out of them. After that I thought I’d do another and half of it I just put in the studio that I use. I like working with
tune along the same lines and make it a bit more involved. By the people, some of the wiring up and some of the more esoteric, fiddly
time I’d finished that second tune, I thought “I’ve got a series here”. I It almost seems like there’s a ‘feel-good’ ethic? bits I’m quite happy for someone else to do so I can just get on with
began actively looking for spoken-word records and nursery rhymes the fun bits.
and stuff that had something to do with water, fish, sea, whales, fish- I suppose it's… What annoys me about a lot of popular music or Thanks to Mr. Scruff for talking to Guardian.
inSIGHT music
03/12/08
Gigs
The Futureheads
03/12/08
ABC
Fresh from their appearance in Jim's bar, the
QMU's very own hub of subsidised cider and
black, The 'Heads will shake off any lingering
hangovers with their energetic angular, post-
punk inspired indie.
Pictish Trail
09/12/08
King Tuts
The right hand man of Fence Records takes
time out from overseeeing the folk scene in Fife
to promote new album 'Secret Sounds'. With
Support from HMS Ginafore and Fran?oise this
will prove a gentle respite from the xmas rush.
The Vaselines
12/12/08
ABC
Possibly known best by our generation for their
D
comeback is not to be missed.
eath Cab for Cutie were originally a prep- from typical Death Cab material and whether that year. I guess there are more philanthropic bands
py indie band from Seattle, whose me- was a contrivance in order to target a more main- than us but we try and give back to local govern-
Herman Dune lodic, poetic songs about being clever stream audience. “I mean it’s still like a Death Cab ments by contributing to musical programmes,
14/12/08 and confused attracted a large base of record.” He goes on to describe the recording of grants and scholarships. It just feels good to have a
Oran Mor wussy fans. One of them was The O.C’s Seth Cohen, their previous album, Plans, which was completed focus towards a great purpose if that doesn’t sound
Wish that you could see them soon? Well aren't and once Seth fans got wind of “Death Cab” they in a month in an isolated farmhouse in Massa- too redundant.” He looks down at his thumbs and
you in luck! Jaunty Swedish alt-folk popstars are were financially set — but it wasn’t until the band chusetts. “With Narrow Stairs we wanted to take smiles bashfully.
bringing their jingling, utterly smile inducing topped the U.S charts this year with Narrow Stairs the pressure off so we recorded in our studios in “We just want to show that we care about
dance along classics to the west end. Pack your that they could be accused of selling out. However, Seattle. It was like doing it in our practise space. young people in America and the future of our
50s quiff, some dancing shoes and a shy glance given that the band don’t wear skinny ties or sing With Plans it was more like putting our suits on and country.” I ask him if there is any advice for young
intended for a stranger. songs about going to discos in ball-hugging jeans, going to work but Narrow Stairs was just a hell of Scottish bands who want to catch the attention of
perhaps Death Cab have proven that it is possible a lot of fun.” Yet despite the meticulous effort put platinum record sellers like Death Cab; “Just tour
to maintain integrity at the top. into Plans it was the more organic Narrow Stairs your arse off,” he smiles, pleased with himself for his
Idlewild I begin to understand how they manage this that ended up topping the U.S charts. I ask Jason familiarity with our nation, “Getting a bit of praise
19/12/08 when I encounter Jason McGerr’s goofy smile what he makes of this: “Yeah!” he laughs uneasily, on the internet and selling a bunch of records isn’t
King Tuts as he welcomes me into the interview room. He “It was nice that we went up against Kanye West enough. We were really fortunate that we started
Playing as part of a five night stay in King Tuts takes his phone out of his pocket to switch it off and came in before him. Maybe I’m speaking too touring before the internet became such a deciding
with a retrospective glance at their back cata- and for a moment I think he’s going to record the factor. Now it just takes one fantastic or terrible
logue, tonight is a playback of The Remote Part, interview too, “Yeah, I’m gonna sue you and use
"We have been pretty open about Pitchfork review to make or break your band. Stick
featuring such classic Idlewild classics as the this as evidence!” I want to make a hilarious joke our support for Obama - it just feels together. That’s the key. Just stick at it.
classic 'American English' and the more classic about his susceptibility to money-making schemes good to have a focus towards a great Any Death Cab fan on hearing Narrow Stairs,
'You Held the World in your arms Tonight.' but decide to take the more subtle line of enquiry whether they like it more or less than the band’s
purpose"
Classic. and ask him how Narrow Stairs compares to their previous work, would probably be convinced to
previous records. Jason leans forward and looks up humbly about it but the band was going for 10 stick with them as their Pitchfork review recom-
attentively through thick framed glasses, “I think years without being a hot topic. Still, the fact that mends. So I wonder then what they have next for us.
We are the Physics it’s the best snapshot of what we do live on stage. by recording by ourselves we could achieve some- “I guess this album will run its course and it’ll prob-
28/12/08 Our records tend to be mellow but Narrow Stairs thing like that is amazing!” ably wrap up at some point next year. There’s talk
King Tuts is pure excitement. Up until now it was always a I ask whether the energy compressed into maybe of a 2010 release. Now that we are buzzing
Prepare for the New Year with a devo-tastic surgical process. Plans was a little more groomed. Narrow Stairs reflects the political excitement of we are definitely ready to start all over again,” he
party mash with Glasgow's angular math rock Narrow Stairs just has wild hairs and torn jeans,” he the last year in the U.S considering Death Cab’s nods pleasantly. It becomes clear that the band’s
saviours! smiles fondly at his metaphor. “We recorded on a overt support of Obama, “I guess none of our success derives from mastering and nurturing their
tape for this one. You can hit tape lot harder than songs are about tax payments or anything. But creations with skill, intelligence, and barely a hint
with a digital process. There’s just this raw frenzied we have been pretty open about our support for of smugness. Death Cab for Cutie, on the awkward
feel to Narrow Stairs and the majority of the tracks Obama. Both Chris and Ben played at the Demo- tightrope between indie and mainstream, have
are made live.” I ask if Narrow Stairs is a divergence cratic National Convention in Denver earlier this held on to their integrity.
inSIGHT
9
music
PAG E
The Digital switchover Where to next?
S
Digitalism till young rhythm. However, in what appeared to be an effort to tracks. The Arches’ huge sound system and its distinc-
The Arches when they left shear off any glitches and keep their crowd jumping, tive acoustics funnelled basslines through the large
22/11/08 the burrow in many of the holes were filled in. crowd like an analogue plough, while drum sounds
>> Harry Akehurst 2004, German Although undeniably energetic, the result was were crisp and full. It needed showing off, but Digi-
dance duo Digitalism nevertheless a little tame. Breaks and drops kept up the talism were afflicted by a rather inappropriate show of
emerged straight into a field of serious heavyweights. dynamic, each one immaculately timed and faded but modesty, and so although their selection of music was
Formed in Hamburg, they share a country with Boys always diving to the same depth and surfacing in the effective and professional, it didn’t have many recog- >> Gerry McKeever
Noize and border with current genre giants Daft Punk same place. With transitions in speed, key, rhythm or nisable chunks of their own songs in it. The full chorus
and Justice in France, and Soulwax/2 Many DJs in Bel- tune so rare and seamlessly executed, new directions of ‘I Want I Want’ was eventually unleashed within the The almighty mess the music
gium. If the geography could be claustrophobic, the could rarely be felt to fully break through. Although this last half hour: people cheered, they jumped higher industry is in is nothing if not well publi-
musical territory was even more confined, with each of sustained the gleeful bouncing which Digitalism clearly and they shouted along. More of these moments of cised. Enormous growth in new alterna-
the big brands sufficiently similar to allow then to regu- aimed to achieve throughout the entire set, holding drama would have made Digitalism seem less depend- tive methods of acquiring music over the
larly remix each other seamlessly into their sets. back from the drama meant that they never managed able, and more fun. As with their various European internet have punched a big hole right
It wouldn’t be true to say that Digitalism have struck to become really exciting. It was Death Disco’s birthday contemporaries, we expected more baiting with the in the middle of the business. There is
out in a brave new direction; by the common consent, party: understatement was just not called for. big choruses, more jarring with the jolting, choppy quite simply just not enough demand
however, of an audience clamouring for live dance acts, A sizeable spectrum of sources was tapped for beats, more cheering and more chance to recognise for the tangible product anymore, with
their saturated, chopped riffs and chantable choruses material, including isolated sections of Digitalism’s own their tunes than their talents. the previously fetishised mediums of
are near enough to the best of the better-known for a vinyl and CD on a rapid decline. The
respectable degree of popularity. Their album Idealism public don’t care enough about owning
was more of an easily looped, easily sampled perform- the ‘real thing’, now that the raw files can
ance resource than a coherent collection of songs, but be bought cheaply or shared for free.
recognisable as danceable party music to its crowd. What does this all mean for the hordes
As such it was good, and together with a basketful of young talented bands and musicians
of solid-quality remixes from across the pop spectrum it desperate for success? Every major city
meant that Digitalism’s headlining slot at Death Disco’s now has a pretty large roster of small
6th birthday party at the Arches on the 22nd was set independent record labels vying for the
to be banging. The event saw a collection of capable attention of the wider public or battling
DJs inciting delirium to the Arches’ full-capacity of 2700 over localised niche markets. As a result,
which packed the main arch to festival front line stand- many bands are able to ‘get signed’ to
ards in anticipation of Digitalism’s 2am appearance. In one of these small labels, fulfilling a
response to the heaving frenzy in front of them Digi- massive childhood dream. But is this
talism may have felt a little pressure to maintain the really the step towards success that we
seamless pace of the previous acts; what they deliv- imagine anymore? Though many inde-
ered was a powerful high-energy house set, which shot pendent labels have provided important
on but never shone. Digitalism demonstrated with stepping stones for upcoming acts, the
their album that they understand the need for gaps in harsh reality is that a lack of funding
modern dance beats like material by French contempo- and PR can often mean no real progress
raries Justice and SebastiAn, tracks like ‘Home Zone’ are ever materialises. Too many quality
most compelling because of their slashed and slanted bands find themselves being told that
their single or album will be appearing
The Firemen Buraka Som Sistema ‘soon’ — industry code for ‘we’re skint’.
Electric Arguments Black Diamond The real problem is the divide between
the small independent labels and the
Pinnacle - 24/11/08 Fabric Integral - 17/11/08
I E
level of the major labels. Because of
nevitably, The Fireman’s new album, Electric uropean clubbers are breaking out the problems the industry as a whole is
Arguments, will never really be viewed as their obsidian disco balls in prepa- experiencing, major labels cannot afford
anything other than the latest vehicle with ration for Black Diamond, the first to take any risks with acts, and will only
which Sir Paul McCartney has been desper- LP from Portuguese break-beat trio, sign anyone they are 100% sure will be
ately attempting to resurrect his floundering Buraka Som Sistema. The band claim to be a certified money-spinner. Getting to
career, and/or some semblance of artistic cred- championing a painstakingly underground the point of attracting interest from a
ibility. As such, it has certain expectations to live sound known as ‘Kuduro’. Kuduro, Portuguese major label is the mountain that modern
up to — namely, that it would be as resound- for ‘hard ass’, is a really low-tech strain of Techno acts find themselves having to climb,
ingly mediocre as much of his output has been that was born in Angola and has taken hold in as independent labels are often inca-
for the past decade or three. In this respect — Portugal. With strong Techno, Hip-hop, Samba pable of sufficiently helping them up.
and this respect only — it does not disappoint. and African Folk influences, making use of au- For uncompromising musicians, unpre-
This is bloated, outdated and egotistical claptrap, and yet there is awfully little one thentic drum tracks and some very basic sampling, Kuduro can only be described as pared to simply jump on a fad-fuelled
can say about the music — except that it is there — so resolute is the lack of charm, ‘hard ass’ African folk music. Buraka traveled to Luanda, Angola, to record the album, bandwagon, how can real progress be
innovation or interesting melody. If there is any redeeming aspect to be found in it’s collaborating with legends of the Kuduro circuit such as Puto Prata and Saborosa. Al- achieved? Though the draw of the state-
infliction upon the world, it could only be that at least, unlike Chinese Democracy; most completely unsurprisingly British artists MIA and Kano manage to get in on the ment “we’d like to sign you” is irresistible
product of that other stalwart of a bygone musical age, Axl Rose, its gestation pe- act as well (how do those crazy kids hear of such things?). Buraka have given Kuduro for many, increasingly doing it yourself
riod came in at under twelve years. Indeed, behind the façade of glossy production the heavily high-tech break-beat treatment in spades. The real Kuduro is smothered seems to be the best option. By taking
values, the inexplicable inclusion of pan-pipe harmonising, and the pseudo-profun- in glossy production and extravagantly distorted samples; Black Diamond is just an- out the middle-man, many young bands
dities to be found in the tired, boring lyrics, it has the feel of an album that might other African themed dance music album, an established, overworked concept that are able to retain complete control of
have been dreamt up and knocked together in someone’s lounge one Sunday, and hasn’t broken any boundaries since Leftfield’s Rhythm and Stealth. The sampling is their music, and are able to devote more
“classed up” with a labour intensive afternoon of Garage Band-ing. Of course, given in danger of sounding patronising: African children, jungle sounds etc. To its credit time and effort to their cause than an
the self-indulgent nature of the entire album, it seems equally conceivable that re- the opening track is as hard ass as you like, there are some wicked vocals thrown into over-stretched independent label ever
demption was always intended to belong to Macca alone: truly, the divorce which tracks 2 and 6, getting folkier towards track 8, petering out into a pretty pretentious could. This century is going to see the
brought new meaning to the word ‘acrimonious’ is no longer the worst thing that ending (“We were not born in Africa but Africa was born in us”). Buy it if you like that success of the truly unstoppable enthu-
he’s done in 2008. (Tom Bonnick) sort of thing. (George Binning) siasts and the shameless self-promotors.
inSIGHT film
03/12/08
An ocean of rain
>> Lewis Porteous
A stab in the darkness
It seems as though I am dealt some sort of awful
experience whenever I abandon Internet retail in Blindness
favour of its physical equivalent, with real people Dir: Fernando Meirelles
and shops and things. These usually revolve around On general release now
being made to feel unjustly embarrassed over my >> Louise Ogden
T
own, frankly impeccable, tastes. Months ago, when
buying a Laurel & Hardy DVD from a charity shop, I hroughout the film's lengthy conception,
found myself so overcome by the impotent desire it must have seemed as though 'Blindness'
to prove that I wasn’t some old-before-my-time, would never be made. The author of the
bus-stop-bound, blue-carrier-bag-carrying dork-in- book on which it is based, Nobel laureate
an-anorak, who’s so dead inside that the only thing Jose Saramago, closely guarded the rights to the
capable of eliciting a smile from me is the sight of work, fearing that in the wrong hands, its allegori-
a fat man and a man of average weight pushing cal story would be diluted or warped beyond rec-
each other while sporting clothes of an ill fit, that I ognition. Fortunately, after much convincing from
vowed never again to browse the sales racks of the both director Fernando Meirelles and screenwriter
real world. Don McKellar, Saramago relented, assured that their
hands were capable of producing a sensitive, faith-
“I came to realise that my inner ful adaptation.
lad is a pig-headed, reactionary The film is set in a nameless town, inhabited by
scumbag, and that he really has equally nameless characters who find themselves
suddenly struck down by a strange infection of
no place dipping into Scorsese’s ‘white blindness’. Those first infected are quaran- terror of sudden blindness onto the big screen not to get the balance quite right. This is especially
oeuvre” tined in an abandoned mental health hospital by was always destined to prove a struggle. Meirelles evident during the final scenes, throughout which
Subsequent relapses have justified my idealistic the government in a vain attempt to contain the succeeds in doing so by relying on Moore as the Danny Glover’s narration as The Man with the Eye-
abstinence, and it was with a mixture of delight epidemic. Those quarantined include the Doctor audiences’ main focus. Thankfully, she is more than Patch is littered with sentimentality, a stark contrast
and horror that I found myself in HMV weeks ago, (Mark Ruffalo) and the Doctor’s Wife (Julianne capable of carrying the film, turning in a consist- the film's previously consistent tone.
growing increasingly irritated and confused by Moore). The latter, however, in the film's one key ently enthralling performance as the only witness It's tempting to compare Blindness with other
something that wasn’t purely of my own inven- twist, can see. to the chaotic and hellish blind world in which she apocalyptic films such as Children of Men or Day of
tion. While examining a ‘special edition’ copy of Moore is the only witness to the horrible condi- is entrapped. Another standout is Alice Braga as the the Triffids, but in spite of its plot, it is not a work
Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver, I found that a promo- tions imposed upon the infected and the brutal complex Woman with Dark Glasses, a prostitute in of science fiction. The film simply isn’t interested in
tional sticker proudly exclaiming “One for the lads” treatment to which the armed guards subject them. the world of sight, and a maternal figure in that of the how and the why; even the Doctor conveys no
adorned it. It was not long before I came to realise Terror reigns within the state of quarantine when the blind. desire to understand his situation, affording audi-
that my inner lad is a pig-headed, reactionary The King of Ward Three (Gael Garcia Bernal) steals The film is often brutal and difficult to watch, ences little hope of conclusion. Blindness is a film
scumbag, and that he really has no place dipping the inhabitants' food supplies, demanding payment dispersed with little comic moments and often that deserves to be seen, but is likely to subject
into Scorsese’s oeuvre, so bound is he to misinter- for the other wards' rations, resulting in the captive heart-warming kindness amongst the infected. the viewer to more brutality than perhaps they are
pret it to suit his own wretched agenda of thinly women being traded as currency. However, allegory on film can often be either far too bargaining for, offering little in the way of salvation
veiled, sexually frustrated misogyny and irony-free Cinema is a visual medium, so translating the subtle or far too patronising, and Meirelles tends or redemption.
Saturday night thuggery.
I’d guess that the film’s claim to lad-friendly
status lies in its iconic, frequently quoted “You
talkin' to me?” line. It's common knowledge, after
The Secret Life of Bees at least a little more to it than trite cliché.
Set in South Carolina during the mid-sixties,the film tells the story of Lily
all, that wazzock's are obsessed with catch phrases Dir: Gina Prince-Blythewood (Dakota Fanning), who accidently shot her mother at the age of four and has
and general familiarity, whatever deplorable guise it On general release now consequently grown up treated with contempt by her bitter father, T. Ray. Her
assumes. Still, it's troubling to consider that there are character is, in spite of this, an inexplicably well-adjusted, confident and mature
lads who watch the film, triumphantly raising their >> Victoria Gemmill (although suitably self involved) fourteen year-old, verging on self-righteous.
T
glasses in approval of scenes besides this one; like She has spent a lonely childhood dreaming of her mother and trying to deal
the wretches who play Jeremy Kyle Show drinking he marketing campaign behind The Secret Life of Bees gave me the with her guilt; with no answers or support from her father.
games, downing shots each time a snarling ex-con- impression that the film would be two hours of overemphasised met- Lily’s story is propelled forward when T. Ray’s black employee — and Lily’s
vict is seen head-butting an estranged, heavily aphor and sentimental mush. In reality, this can be considered a fairly pseudo-mother figure, Rosaleen (Jennifer Hudson) — is beaten and arrested
pregnant wife. Sam Peckinpah claimed that Straw accurate assessment, but as the story progressed there seemed to be while trying to register to vote. Lily rushes to the rescue, helps Rosaleen escape
Dogs' audiences weren't supposed to approve of and together they run away. A mysterious tile painted with a picture of the
Dustin Hoffman's adoption of appallingly brutal Madonna, which previously belonged to Lily’s mother, leads the pair to the
behaviour, but rather pity his character and lament home and bee farm of three more mother figures, the Boatwright sisters —
the circumstances that necessitated his course of August (Queen Latifah), June (Alicia Keys) and May (Sophie Okonedo) — who
action. Surely the same applies to Travis Bickle, and unquestioningly take Lily and Rosaleen under their wing. These women are
the film's bloody, pimp-splattering conclusion is just not like any either of two runaways has ever encountered before, who for the
as muddled, unromantic and futile as the events first time feel safe. Although it requires a significant suspension of desire for
that led to it, stretching back as far as the Vietnam realism, Sophie Okonedo’s portrayal of May Boatright is notably enjoyable — a
war. Ah yes, lads: they love beer, sports, fatty foods, deeply empathetic woman carrying the world’s grief in her heart. The character
those nylon jogging bottom things, vegetarian- is ingeniously and very effectively used as a constant reminder of the hardship
baiting and explorations of deep-seated psycho- the characters have suffered — a tear-jerker personified.
logical trauma against the backdrop of a morally Despite the lack of justification provided for the Boatwrights agreeing to
bankrupt society. Glancing around the shop, I accommodate the strangers who turn up on their doorstep, the largely two-
notice that copies of Easy Rider bear the exact same dimensional and inconsistent central characters, and some strangely inconclu-
sticker. I leave immediately, safe in the knowledge sive subplots, the film is as successful as it can be.
that though Dennis Hopper's burnt-out, death of However, it seems that most of these flaws can be attributed to the Sue
the sixties vision is being marketed by completely Monk Kidd novel on which the film is based, and given such a fundamental
unfit hands, some day a real rain will come and wash limitation, the achievements of the cast and director Gina Prince-Blythewood
all these stickers off the streets. are, it must be conceded, admirable.
inSIGHT
11
film
PAG E
Changeling
Dir: Clint Eastwood
On general release now
S
ometimes the truth is so bizarre that it really couldn’t have
been made up. The factual story behind Clint Eastwood’s
latest film is one such truth.
1928, Los Angeles: the local police department trium-
phantly reunite hardworking single mother Christine Collins (Ange-
lina Jolie) with her son, who’s been missing for the past 5 months.
What better way to begin a film than with a fairytale ending? There’s
just one small hitch: as soon as she sees him, Christine knows that the
boy is not her child. More bad publicity is the last thing the corrupt
and extensively unpopular LAPD needs, and despite Christine’s
desperate entreaties, the police refuse to admit their mistake. Instead,
they prefer to smear Christine in the eyes of the press, portraying her
as a heartless, unfit mother. When she refuses to keep quiet, they
attempt to ensure her silence, once and for all, by throwing her into a
psychiatric hospital.
So begins a desperate battle between one woman and the seem-
ingly invincible machinery of state power, from the crooked police
force to the brutal psychiatric hospital manned by cold, manipulative
staff. Both interested only in maintaining a status quo through which
their own interests are furthered. fighting a Kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmare and a damaging While the storyline is undoubtedly gripping, with 140 minutes’
dominant ideology. worth of dense, twisting plot to grapple with and high-minded moral
“With 140 minutes' worth of dense, twisting There are already rumours of Academy Award-recognition for critiques to be made, there’s no space in the script for such niceties as
plot to grapple with, there's no space in the Jolie’s portrayal of Christine. While her skeletal, pouting beauty subtle character development. The final line, in particular, falls into the
script for such niceties as subtle character betrays itself as incongruously modern within an otherwise immac- category of notable clichés you will only ever hear spoken by charac-
ulately recreated period setting, her performance is pitched just on ters in the movies.
development” the right side of melodrama throughout.Yet Jolie struggles to craft And that’s the strange thing about this film. Despite the fact that
This is perhaps as close to feminism as mainstream Hollywood a three-dimensional character out of the material with which she it is ‘a true story’, as its tagline proudly proclaims, and despite the fact
can get without having cynical motives in mind. Christine is shown is presented, never fully achieving a believable balance between that much of the script is based on genuine documentation of the
to be the victim of a society which can conceive of women in only Christine’s naturally docile nature and her tenacious strength and case, Eastwood never creates much feeling of intimacy, or gives the
the most condescending terms, as hysterical, illogical, untrustworthy courage. Any potential subtleties in her character — and all the viewer the sense that they are receiving anything approximating
beings who ought to know their place and leave men to undertake others — are obscured by the film’s clear-cut presentation of good genuine psychological insight into the lives of real people. Change-
the decision-making process on their behalf. This is a society in and evil. Christine is never anything but a selfless, devoted mother, ling deals with the most basic and moving of human instincts, but
which the phrase ‘an independent woman’ is an insult. During its best and her nemesis Police Captain JJ Jones (an excellent Jeffrey in the end it is too grandiose and overblown a film to succeed on a
moments, Changeling strikes a blow for the courageous individual Donovan) is never anything but the hateful baddie. human level.
Choke Nonetheless, in almost every other quantifiable the story, the romantic one, thereby creating the throughout the duration of his novels. So, Victor and
respect, the two films are starkly different — and impression that the remaining strands have simply Denny are sex addicts, Ida is a slightly sociopathic
Dir: Clark Gregg
the contrast is really warranted little more than with been jammed in as a neglected afterthought. At con artist, and this is how we ought to view them.
On general release now
any other picture. best, there are echoes of the original text’s narra- Remarkably, Rockwell and Huston both succeed in
Fitting somewhat uneasily tive tone — notably through the use of detached, bringing a greater level of humanity to their roles,
>> Tom Bonnick
I
between black comedy, laconic voiceover - as well as that of Fight Club, earning empathy and perhaps even a little recogni-
nevitably, and perhaps unfairly, the mid-life crisis drama and which in this respect it does attempt to mimic — tion. Whilst the former is undoubtedly a solid lead,
immediate comparison everybody family reconciliation, Choke but they remain only that: echoes; inferior repro- it is Huston who provides the most captivating
has drawn — encouraged by cannot have been an easy ductions. moments, flitting between charismatic and danger-
Fox Searchlight, the distribu- story to put on screen. In spite of its relative shortcomings, there is ously unhinged with fluidity and conviction.
tor, no less — with Choke, director Cinemagoers expecting no denying that this is an enjoyably unusual film, What’s more, the romantic arc, between Victor
Clark Gregg’s feature debut, has easily definable genre and the slightly mysterious, ever-present Paige
been with Fight Club. This is not will be disappointed, as
“Huston provides the most Marshall (Kelly MacDonald), is an endearing one
without reason — after all, this is will anyone expecting the captivating moments, flitting — appropriately unconventional, but never in the
only the second film to be adapted full force of Palahniuk’s between charismatic and contrived or tacky manner that new directors seem
from a Chuck Palahniuk novel — the devilish imagination. Gregg to opt for as a means of establishing their indie
first, of course, being David Fincher’s struggles to fully reflect the
dangerously unhinged” credentials. MacDonald is beguiling; her native
opus on homoeroticism author’s unique authorial and the relatively weak script is magnificently Scottish accent seamlessly replaced with a soft
and soap-related voice — an admit- redeemed by strong leading performances. Sam American twang, and she demonstrates an ever-
acts of ter- tedly daunting Rockwell plays Victor Mancini, stuck in his job as expanding versatility, particularly after a previous
ro r i s m . task — and an 18th century reenactor with best friend role in No Country For Old Men.
hones in on Denny (Brad William Henke), after dropping The final, typically Palahniuk-ian denouement
one aspect out of medical school to pay for mother Ida’s — which I shan’t ruin here — although surprising
o f (Angelica Huston) care home treatment. for those unfamiliar with the story, is hardly the
An unavoidable weakness in develop- shocking revelation that Gregg perhaps was aiming
ment derives from Palahniuk’s own obses- for. However, the more understated approach
sion with endowing each of his characters through which it is revealed feels nicely befitting to
with a single ‘crazy’ attribute, and then the overall feel: hardly groundbreaking, but reassur-
defining them according to this feature ingly entertaining.
Hospitality Services new catering outlet
open 12 January 2009, level 3, the Fraser Building
Soup station...
Open 8 till late...
Chef's theatre...
Core cuisine...
Fresh every day...
Hospitality Services are pleased to announce the opening on 12 January 2009 of two new
catering outlets on Level 3 of the Fraser building, offering preferential prices to all students*
‘Food to go’ will be open from 8am for quality Fairtrade tea and coffee, freshly-made
sandwiches and home baking to take away. From Monday to Thursday, ‘Food to go’ will be open
until 7.30pm with hot snacks and soup available to sustain youHospitality
for evening study in the Library.
Services
*Valid registration card must be shown at time Food for thought opens 12 January 2009
of purchase.
The Fraser Building