CREATURE FEATURE By Liam OConnor and Nathan Turner

FADE IN: EXT. SUBURBAN STREET-- NIGHT A suburban street. It is a dark and stormy night in the town of Grosse Pointe. Its my hometown. Its a suburb, ripe for a horror comedy. We focus on a house. The address is 1714 Raimi Lane. CUT TO: INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM --CONTINUOUS A young, high school aged couple is sitting on a couch together watching a horror movie. Its obvious the girl doesnt like the movie. The guy grabs the remote and pauses the movie. NATE Whats wrong, Melissa? MELISSA I just dont think we should watch this movie, Nate. Its scary. NATE Its a horror movie. They are suppose to scare you. Hence, the name "scary movie". MELISSA Dont patronize me, asshole. NATE What does that mean? MELISSA You know I hate scary movies, Nate. If I actively hate scary movies, why are we watching this? Is it so that when I am scared, I hold you tight and then after the movie I fuck your brains out? Nate is caught off-guard by Melissas response. NATE No, of course not, sweetie. Besides, last week you made me sit through Mammia Mia and Bridget Joness Diary. Do you know how much pain I had to endure watching Pierce Brosnan sing in Mammia Mia? (MORE) (CONTINUED)

2. NATE (contd) That guy may of been a good Bond, but he is one terrible singer, just awful. But thats not the point, Melissa. Here is the point, baby. I think I deserve a break from the romantic comedy genre of cinema, because if not, I might actually develop a vagina from all the estrogen that all those movies reek of. And you probably dont want that, do you Melissa? Plus, I like a little variety in my film viewing routine, Melissa and its Halloween. Is that really so bad, darling? Melissa lays her head on his shoulder, understanding the flawed logic in Nates argument. NATE And, I want to get laid. Melissa rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed by Nates smart ass comment. Typical Nate. Nate hits resume on the movie. SLOW PAN: We are now downstairs, as we slowly move to the backdoor window of the house. The weather outside is getting increasingly erratic as the camera gets closer to the window. SUDDENLY, a giant roar of thunder is heard outside. It startles Melissa. She turns to Nate, horrified. Nate is unfazed because he is an asshole boyfriend in a horror movie, thats why. MELISSA What the hell was that? NATE That, Melissa, was either thunder or Thor. My moneys on Thor. Melissa hits Nate in the shoulder for his comment. She is freaked out. Melissa hears glass being broken. MELISSA Nate, did you hear that? That sounded like glass. Nate is freaked out.

(CONTINUED)

3.

NATE Ill go get the gun, you stay right where you are!Dont do anything! Nate runs out of the room. INT. PARENTS BEDROOM --NIGHT Nate heads inside of the room. He goes in to the drawer. He looks around for the gun. After a while, he finds the shotgun. He then loads the gun with shotgun shells. He runs back into the room where Melissa is. INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM --CONTINUOUS Nate comes in to reassure Melissa. NATE Melissa, dont worry about it. Chances are it probably isnt some pissed off janitor with an axe. And if it is, I have a gun. Dont worry, Melissa. Ill be right back. Nate is about to head off. MELISSA Dont say that. Nate turns around. NATE Why? MELISSA Its bad luck in horror movies. NATE No, bad luck in horror movie is usually being a hot blond chick with big bo... Nate stops himself, realizing he has described Melissa. NATE Never mind. Just stay here. Nate leaves, slowly closing the door.

4.

INT. HALLWAY--NIGHT The hallway is very dark. Nate is slowly walking down the hallway, with his gun right in front of him. He slowly makes his way down the stairs into the living room. INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS Nate looks around, hes on the bottom of the stairs. He notices how the big window outside of his living room is completely shattered. He steps on something. Its glass, leading into the kitchen. He looks around for the burglar. NATE Where the fuck are you, you piece of shit! Come out and fight me. Fight me like a man! Nothing happens. NATE Dont make my fire my gun, motherfucker. Ill do it and youll be cut in fucking half! Nate gets nervous. He shoots his gun into the air. Nate comes down from the stairs. He looks around. The coast is clear. NATE Melissa, I think the fucker ran away. I am going to double check. Nate looks around, his gun ready at any second. He approaches the kitchen. NATE Holy shit. We see the "intruder", a decaying corpse possessed by demons. He is ugly. The demon looks at Nate, clearly annoyed.

(CONTINUED)

5.

NATE Look man, take whatever you want. Seriously, no hard feelings, man. The demon rips off Nates arm, blood spurts out like crazy. NATE My fucking arm! Nate kicks the demon in the shin, knocking him down. Nate crawls away, shocked and horrified by what just happened to him as anyone would. He gets close to the stairs. NATE Melissa! Melissa! Melissa, call the fucking cops! Please, please! Help! Do something. CUT TO: INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM --CONTINUOUS Melissa thinks this is a joke. MELISSA Fuck you, Nate. This isnt funny! CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS The demon is getting closer and closer. Nate isnt kidding. He is crawling. NATE Melissa, please! I am not fucking around with you. Please help me! I am going to fucking die, help me! CUT TO INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM--CONTINUOUS Melissa is doing her nails, unaware of the fact that her boyfriend is about to become a tasty dinner for some evil demon. They will make Natertots out of him. MELISSA Yeah whatever you say, Nate. CUT TO:

6. INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS The demon approaches Nate. NATE Melissa, I love yo... The demons start devouring Nate. Nate becomes demon dinner. Nate screams in agony as the demon eat him alive, ripping out flesh from his neck. It drags away his corpse. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS Nate stops screaming. Melissa gets up from the chair. MELISSA Ill give you credit, Nate. That was something movie critics call an Oscar caliber performance. Well done, Nate. Well done. Melissa starts clapping. No sounds from downstairs. Faint chewing in the background. MELISSA Nate, you are so dedicated to this prank. You decided to do that thing in horror movies. You know, where the blond chick is like, "Billy? Billy? Where are you? Come back to bed, Baby. Is that you, Billy?" Then, she gets killed by the killer. Its very old school, very authentic. She starts the movie and sits down. No response. Melissa starts getting scared. MELISSA This isnt funny, asshole. Knock it off! Still no response. Melissa decides to leave.

(CONTINUED)

7.

MELISSA Fine, Ill come down stairs, Nate. INT. HALLWAY--NIGHT Melissa heads out in the hallway. Scary music is playing in the background, building the tension as she slowly walks down the hallway. Then, Melissa turns around. MELISSA I probably should pause the movie, just in case. Melissa runs back into the room, pauses the movie, and then comes back out. MELISSA Thats better. She heads down the hallway, and heads down the stairs. MELISSA Nate? Nate, where are you? This seriously isnt funny. She has a flashlight, like most soon to be dead blonds in horror movies. INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS Melissa looks around, looking for Nate. She sees a trail of blood. MELISSA What the hell... She follows the trail of blood. We hear chewing. INT. KITCHEN--NIGHT Melissa enters the kitchen. I would make a joke about women in kitchens, but I dont want to be crucified by my female friends. Melissa is horrified. She drops to her knees.

(CONTINUED)

8. MELISSA HOLY SHIT! We get a view of what Melissa sees in close up, its the mangled, currently being eaten corpse of Nate. Its very messy and bloody. Demons sure are messy eaters, arent they? The demon turns around to Melissa, finished with eating their natertots. Melissa screams, running away from the Kitchen. The main demon then decide to get the next meal in his decidedly two course meal, Melissa. He starts chasing after Melissa. INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS Melissa runs to the phone. She starts dialing 911, ferociously. She is in quite a pickle. MELISSA Cmon, cmon! Pick up! Pick up! The phone is ringing, as the demon gets closer and closer. The line is busy. Melissa is obviously annoyed. MELISSA Of course, the line is busy. Of course it is. Melissa then decides to run outside, closing the door frantically as she heads outside. EXT. NATES BACKYARD--NIGHT Melissa moves away from the door she just closed. She is breathing a sigh of relief. We hear rumbling in the wind. Melissa looks around, trying to hear what it is. All is calm, all is quiet. We have all seen this moment in horror movies. SUDDENLY, a tree branch knocks Melissa away, throwing her a couple of feet in the air. The trees are possessed too, think like "The Evil Dead". CLOSE UP: Melissa is surprised and in pain. (CONTINUED)

9.

MELISSA What the... Another one of the branches of the tree almost hits Melissa, she is able to evade that branch of the tree. She tries to run, avoid tree branches as they keep coming and coming! Its like Frogger, except with demon trees and a hot blond girl. Melissa is almost out of the backyard, when all of a sudden, WHAM! A giant tree limb hits Melissa, propelling her right through the glass backdoor of Nates house. It hurts like a tree limb to the stomach! INT. LIVING ROOM --CONTINUOUS Melissa lands on the ground, glass shards and bits of hair and blood are everywhere. She is hurt badly. The demon turns around, noticing Melissa. Melissa notices the gun that Nate left behind. She tries to reach for it. It get closer and closer. MELISSA Fuck! Cmon, youre a big girl, you can fucking do this! Cmon, get the gun! Prove those stereotypes wrong, Melissa! Prove them wrong, Melissa! Prove them wrong! She finally gets the gun. She may make it out of there! She stands up and points the gun at the demon. She shoots him. His head is shot off. She breathes a sigh of relief. From behind, she is bitten in the neck by the reanimated corpse of Nate. As she screams, we pull out of the house. EXT. GROSSE POINTE --NIGHT We realize that everyone outside is being attacked by these creatures of the night. And then we see the title in blood red font: CREATURE FEATURE (CONTINUED)

10.

CUT TO: EXT. GROSSE POINTE; THE VILLAGE--DAY TEXT: A Few Hours Earlier. Its Grosse Pointe, sunny and bright.Little kids are playing, people are walking their dogs and socializing, unaware of the hellish night that is about to happen to the tiny little town, in a matter of hours. We are in a part of the town called "The Village", specifically, a video store. We see an establishing shot of the video store. A young man is outside, wearing a sign on top of him saying: Rent Some Halloween Horrors for Horribly Great Prices. This guy looks seriously unhappy, think Liam OConnor every day of his life. The young man outside is sort of just hanging out. He is extremely bored. Then, a young woman approaches the guy. The young mans spirits instantly perk up. MONICA BRIEDEN Hey, Dylan. DYLAN HACKETT Oh hey, uh Monica. Whats up? MONICA BRIEDEN Not much, I see you are busy... Monica looks at what Dylans sign says. MONICA BRIEDEN Selling some "Halloween Horrors for Horribly Great Prices." What a dignified sign. You look swell. DYLAN HACKETT It is quite dignified. MONICA BRIEDEN Quite. Dylan smiles. DYLAN HACKETT So, how are you on this fine Halloween night?

(CONTINUED)

11.

MONICA BRIEDEN Well, I am doing my homework and then possibly hanging out with Melissa and Nate. DYLAN HACKETT That sounds like a fun time. MONICA BRIEDEN I wouldnt really consider being third wheel a fun time. DYLAN HACKETT Ah, if you dont want to be third wheel, you could hangout with Ben and I tonight and watch a couple horror movies.. MONICA BRIEDEN How would that be different from being with Melissa and Nate? DYLAN HACKETT Ben and I dont have sex all the time, wait thats not true. Only if he pays for dinner. I am a classy dame. Monica and Dylan laugh. DYLAN HACKETT Although, we will have pizza rolls. They are pretty awesome. MONICA BRIEDEN Well, thats a generous offer, Dylan. But I am going to have to take a rain check, Dyl. DYLAN HACKETT Oh no, biggie. Its fine. It really is. We hear Ben shouting from the inside of the store. DYLAN HACKETT I should take care that. MONICA BRIEDEN You probably should, Dyl. Bye. Call me. Monica leaves. (CONTINUED)

12.

Dylan approaches the door. He realizes he totally just blew his chance with her. DYLAN HACKETT Ill call you later, Monica. Happy Halloween! Dylan sighs. Dylan heads inside of the store. INT. THE VIDEO STORE--DAY Dylan walks in as Ben is talking with Nate BEN WILLIAMS No, no, no. Fuck no! They are not "all the same"...the original "Halloween" is a fucking masterpiece. Perfect, scary as hell, and entertaining. NATE What about the remake? BEN WILLIAMS Ill tell you about the remake, man. The remake is the bastard child of The Devil Rejects and Halloween if it was hit with a tire iron and then set on fire. You know what makes Halloween scary? NATE What? BEN WILLIAMS Not knowing anything about the killer. All we know in the original is that Michael Myers is some crazy son of a bitch who broke out of a mental institution who goes around cutting the fuck out of teenagers with his big ass knife. We dont know why, he just does. Isnt that scary to you? NATE Yeah, that sounds pretty scary. BEN WILLIAMS In the remake, we know why Michael kills people. Because his mom was a (MORE) (CONTINUED)

13. BEN WILLIAMS (contd) white trash stripper who was abusive to her long haired freak kid. Plus, its super fucked up. There is a goddamn gang rape sequence, for Gods sake. NATE Jesus. BEN WILLIAMS Thats right man. If you want to scare Melissa, rent the original. If you want to traumatize and ruin her for the rest of her life, rent the remake. Choose wisely. NATE Get me the original, Ben. BEN WILLIAMS You have chosen, wisely. Ben goes and gets Halloween off the shelf, he hands it to Nate. BEN WILLIAMS 3.50, my good man. Nate pulls out his wallet, puts the money on the table. BEN WILLIAMS Here is your change, sir. Ben gives Nate his change. Nate gives Ben a handshake. NATE Keep it real, Ben. BEN WILLIAMS You too. Nate then heads out of the store as he walks out, he bumps into Dylan, Bens co-worker and best friend. NATE Sorry, Dylan. DYLAN HACKETT Dont worry about it, Nate. Nate nods and carries on his way out the door. (CONTINUED)

14.

Dylan approaches the register where Ben is. DYLAN HACKETT Hey, Ben. BEN WILLIAMS Dylan, whats going on? DYLAN HACKETT Besides working at a video store on Halloween, not much. What was Nate doing here, aside from getting scolded by you. Ben rolls his eyes. Then, he continues. BEN WILLIAMS Ah, Nate was getting a movie. DYLAN HACKETT I am going to assume it was a horror movie. BEN WILLIAMS You assume correctly, young Dylan. You know Melissa Croswell? Nates really hot girlfriend, the one who always wears the see-through yoga pants, where you can totally see her th... DYLAN HACKETT Yeah, I know who you are talking about, man. Get on with it, Ben. BEN WILLIAMS So anyways, Nate comes in here looking for a movie that will scare her, so that he can, and I quote, "have his brains fucked out." DYLAN HACKETT What a classy statement. How does one fuck someones brains out? BEN WILLIAMS I am not sure, young Dylan. Anyways, while we were performing the aforementioned costumer and cashier transaction ritual, young Nathaniel said something that really rubbed me the wrong way. He said that every horror movie is the (MORE) (CONTINUED)

15.

BEN WILLIAMS (contd) same and they arent realistic at all. DYLAN HACKETT He has a point, Ben. They are all the same. Dumb teenagers have sex, do drugs, die, rinse, repeat. They all have that story structure. So, he does have a point. Ben slides over the register, he sits on the counter. BEN WILLIAMS Bullshit, he does! DYLAN HACKETT You are only saying he doesnt because deep down, you know Ben. If we were in a horror movie, you would be the first one to die. And it makes you feel better. BEN WILLIAMS Yeah, the first person to die usually dies the least painful death. Who wouldnt want that? Besides out of all the people we know who would be the final girl, Monica Brieden? Newsflash, the guy best friend and the nerd dont survive horror movies and if they do, they die in the sequel, painfully I might add. And they sure as shit dont get the girl. Thats the way it is Dylan, and I have accepted it. As they are talking, a random man bursts through the doors. Its Crazy Ralph, the town drunk. Ben and Dylan look annoyed, Crazy Ralph is not a conversationalist. CRAZY RALPH I have come to deliver warnings of evil, warnings foretold eons ago! DYLAN HACKETT Yeah, yeah, we heard all before Crazy Ralph. Doom. Damnation. Hellfire. The works.

(CONTINUED)

16.

CRAZY RALPH I kid you not, weary video store clerk! I am a messenger of God. You are doomed if you stay here, Dylan. An ancient evil is enveloping our town in darkness! The Book of the Damned has escaped from its eternal resting place...the end of times is near. DYLAN HACKETT Sure it is. You have said this every year, Ralph. CRAZY RALPH I swear! I saw evil! I saw the eyes of evil on the face of a creature. It was blood red, the creature ate a man alive. It didnt stop. It just kept gnawing at the mans corpse. I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes. DYLAN HACKETT Maybe you have to quit hitting the sauce so hard. CRAZY RALPH Do not mock my prophesies, child. This book has a death curse! The dead will rise from the ground and with them the souls of the damned, determined to invoke a thousand years of darkness upon human kind. DYLAN HACKETT I am sure this "book" will do that, you crazy kook. CRAZY RALPH Whatever you say, you imbecile. Your arrogance will be your demise! You are not aware of the evil that lurks around every corner here. You will burn, just like the rest of these damn fools. YOURE DOOMED! YOURE ALL DOOMED! Crazy Ralph leaves, disappointed by the lack of results his speech has made. He turns to the boys just as he reaches the door.

(CONTINUED)

17. CRAZY RALPH You should have listened, boys. I know a couple things. Trust me. He bows his hat and slams the door, like a boss. Ben and Dylan stand there awkwardly. They breathe a sigh of belief. BEN WILLIAMS What was that about? DYLAN HACKETT I dont know. Dylan walks around the counter to check the register. BEN For a crazed drunk, Ralph gives a great performance. Almost too real. DYLAN HACKETT What does that mean? BEN WILLIAMS He might be on to something... DYLAN HACKETT Clearly. Clearly he is on to something. We should take the advice of a man named Crazy Ralph. What could possibly go wrong? BEN WILLIAMS Whatever, I am going to get a Coke, you want one? And no, I am not going crazy. DYLAN HACKETT No thanks, man. Ben pops open the machine, taking the coke for free. DYLAN HACKETT Arent you suppose to pay for that? BEN WILLIAMS Arent YOU suppose to be outside? DYLAN HACKETT Touche. Dylan hops off the table, he heads outside. (CONTINUED)

18. "Step Into My Office, Baby" by Belle and Sebastian starts playing. CUT TO: INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT--DAY Cops are scattering around the halls. Its very hectic, since nothing really happens in Grosse Pointe and so when something does happen...shit gets real. An officer, Officer Anton Shubnell, is waiting outside of the chiefs office. He is the only practical cop, having transferred from Detroit. CHIEF SCHMIDT (OFF-SCREEN) Come in, Shubnell. INT. SCHMIDTS OFFICE--DAY Chief Kenneth Schmidtke is sitting at his desk. Two other cops are also in the room, Officer Randal OConnor and Officer Dewey Hackett, Dylans brother. They are frazzled. I cant believe I just said frazzled. CHIEF SCHMIDTKE Shubnell, I assume you know why I called you in here. OFFICER SHUBNELL Not a clue, sir. CHIEF SCHMIDTKE Well, Ill give you the gist of it, son. Crazy Ralph found a man eaten alive. OFFICER SHUBNELL Holy shit. OFFICER HACKETT Holy shit is right, rookie. The guys guts were hanging out, like something out of a goddamn horror movie. OFFICER SHUBNELL Do we have any suspects? CHIEF SCHMIDTKE Nope, we cant find anyone in the database whos way of operating fit the m.o of the crime. OConnor, do you have any leads? (CONTINUED)

19.

OFFICER OCONNOR No sir. Schmidt turns to Hackett. CHIEF SCHMIDTKE What about you, Hackett? Did you find anything that could help us catch the son of a bitch? OFFICER HACKETT No sir. I didnt get anything. We see a bite mark on Hacketts hand. Shubnell sees it. Hackett quickly hides it. CHIEF SCHMIDTKE Well, thats fucking perfect. We have a killer on the loose and no fucking leads. Alright, boys, lets focus. I am going to issue a town wide curfew, starting ASAP. I want you three to go spread the word of the curfew around town. Is that understood? All three men nod their heads. CHIEF SCHMIDT Good. Glad we are clear. Now, get the fuck out. The three men leave the room. CUT TO: INT. POLICE CAR--AFTERNOON Hackett and Shubnell are in a car together. Hackett is driving the car. Hacketts bite mark looks black. He is driving normally. He starts sweating. The camera starts tilting as Hackett starts to freak out. He sees flashes of rotting corpses. They are eating people, ripping out chunks of flesh. He is shaking his head, fighting off the slow infection. OFFICER SHUBNELL Is something wrong, Hackett? He doesnt respond.

(CONTINUED)

20.

OFFICER SHUBNELL Hackett! He is jolted by Shubnells yell. He slams on the brake. OFFICER SHUBNELL Are you OK? OFFICER HACKETT Yeah, just feeling a little under the weather. Shubnell sees Hacketts hand. OFFICER SHUBNELL Youre sweating. Let me see that. OFFICER HACKETT Its fine, Shubnell. OFFICER SHUBNELL Let me see it, man. OFFICER HACKETT I said its fine... OFFICER SHUBNELL Just let me see it, man. OFFICER HACKETT I SAID ITS FINE! (BUMP) I am sorry, Shubnell. I didnt mean do that. I dont...I dont know whats wrong with me. OFFICER SHUBNELL Should I take the wheel? OFFICER HACKETT Thats a good idea. They switch seats, Shubnell drives off. CUT TO: INT. THE VIDEO STORE--DAY "Flowers On The Wall" by the Statler Brothers starts playing as Ben is stocking the shelves and singing along.

(CONTINUED)

21.

BEN WILLIAMS Counting flowers on the wall...that dont bother me at all. Playing solitaire with a deck of 51, smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo... Dylan is washing the interior windows of the store. We hear a car pull up. Hackett and Shubnell enter the store. Ben sees the two cops in his reflection. He stops stocking the shelves. He goes to the register. Dylan also stops what he is doing when he sees his brother. DYLAN HACKETT Dewey, whats up? Hackett sighs. He is being professional. OFFICER HACKETT Dylan, we have been over this. When I am at work, you call me Officer Hackett. Not Dewey. DYLAN HACKETT Sorry, Officer Hackett. OFFICER HACKETT Much better. Boys, do you know why we are here? DYLAN HACKETT To rent some Halloween horrors for horribly great prices? OFFICER SHUBNELL I wish that was the case, gentlemen. I really do. But unfortunately, we are here for a tragically different reason. BEN WILLIAMS What, are you renting the Star Wars prequels? OFFICER SHUBNELL I wish, that would be better than what we are actually here for. As you might of heard, we found a dead man with his guts hanging out at Ghesquire park, covered in bite marks and scratches and everything.

(CONTINUED)

22.

DYLAN HACKETT Holy shit. OFFICER HACKETT Holy shit is right. We have reason to suspect that this murder might of been the work of a vicious serial killer, a serial killer who is evidently still at large, if true. Due to this, the Chief of Police has issued a citywide curfew, effective at 6 PM sharp. All stores and restaurants are ordered to close up shop for the night, and citizens are encouraged to lock their doors and stay inside. Ben and Dylan are annoyed. OFFICER SHUBNELL We are sorry for the any inconvenience this causes the shop, boys. I really am sorry. BEN WILLIAMS We get it. OFFICER HACKETT Good. Hackett starts seeing flashes of the man getting his eaten again. He shakes his head, delaying the inevitable. He regains focus on the task at hand. OFFICER HACKETT I gotta drain my lizard. Mind if I use your commode? BEN WILLIAMS Uh, sure. Its over there, Officer Hackett? OFFICER HACKETT Thank you. Officer Hackett heads off into the bathroom. Officer Shubnell starts talking to Dylan and Ben.

(CONTINUED)

23.

OFFICER SHUBNELL Dylan, Id keep my eye on Dewey, something is up with him, I can feel it. He has been acting strange all day. He has a weird bite on his hand. DYLAN HACKETT That was probably from some neighborhood dog he saved. He is a good guy. OFFICER SHUBNELL Nah, that bite, sure as shit aint a dog bite. Just keep an eye on him. DYLAN HACKETT Sure thing. OFFICER SHUBNELL Good. Officer Hackett exits from the bathroom. OFFICER HACKETT (Off-Screen) Shubnell, lets roll out. OFFICER SHUBNELL Sure thing, sir. (BUMP) Remember what I said. DYLAN HACKETT Sure will. The two men are walking out. OFFICER HACKETT You two, be safe now. BEN WILLIAMS Will do, sir. The two officers leave the store. CUT TO: CUT TO:

24.

INT. BENS CAR--EVENING Its raining hard down upon the city, everyone is getting inside their houses. Dylan is driving the car while Ben is in shotgun. BEN WILLIAMS Can I turn on the radio? DYLAN HACKETT Sure. Ben turns on the radio, "Dont Fear The Reaper" starts playing. DYLAN HACKETT Today sucked. Ben starts rifling through the glove department. DYLAN HACKETT Are you listening to me? BEN WILLIAMS Yeah, I hear you. DYLAN HACKETT First, Monica turned me down, again. And then we have this stupid curfew, I swear, Ben, its almost like the world likes to fuck me over. BEN WILLIAMS Totally. I feel you. Ben finds what he is looking for. He pulls out a joint. He starts lighting it. He takes a hit. He starts coughing while Dylan talks about his feelings for Monica. DYLAN HACKETT If I had the chance to be with her, I totally would man. No joke, I love this girl. Shes perfect, she has a great sense of humor, loves comic books and horror movies, she is great at video games...Ben, what the hell are you doing? BEN I am trying to relax.

(CONTINUED)

25.

DYLAN HACKETT Yeah, the kind of relaxing you are doing, is illegal in the Pointes and the reason you lost your license. Put it out. BEN WILLIAMS Ah, come on, Dylan. I am just trying to relieve stress. You could use some. DYLAN HACKETT And the answer is no. BEN WILLIAMS Cmon Dylan, dont be a square. Just take a hit, man. Do it, Dylan. Dylan sighs. DYLAN HACKETT Fine. Dylan takes a hit. He exhales and starts coughing. BEN WILLIAMS Now, do you feel better? DYLAN HACKETT A bit. BEN WILLIAMS Dont worry about Monica. What happens, happens. Think about it, in a couple of minutes, well be in your basement watching horror movies and eating pizza rolls, just like old times. You are going to be fine, man. DYLAN HACKETT You always know what to say, Ben. BEN WILLIAMS I know, I am like a stoner version of Yoda. Strong in the force, young Dylan is. The two laugh. They pull up into Dylans driveway. BEN WILLIAMS Next stop, awesome horror movie land.

26.

The two high five each other. INT. DYLANS BASEMENT--NIGHT. The TV is showing "Night of The Living Dead". They are on the scene where the brother goes "They are coming to get you, Barbara." Dylan and Ben are sitting on a couch. Ben is sucked into the movie, Dylan looks a bit bored. He looks at his watch, its 7:30. Dylan gets up. DYLAN HACKETT Hey Ben, do you want anything? Ben thinks for a moment. BEN WILLIAMS I could go for some more pizza rolls. DYLAN HACKETT Sure. Dylan grabs a plate, he then puts the pizza rolls on the plate and puts them into the microwave. Dylan is watching the pizza rolls cook in the microwave. Ben is still on the couch. DYLAN HACKETT One day man. Monica will see how awesome I am. BEN WILLIAMS Hopefully. If she doesnt want bang you, nobody will. Dylan rolls his eyes. The pizza rolls are done. The microwave beeps. He gets them from out of the microwave. DYLAN HACKETT God, I hate that fucking beep. Dylan walks to where Ben is sitting. We hear the roar of thunder! Dylan jumps. Pizza rolls fly everywhere. The plate breaks. Ben gets up to help Dylan

(CONTINUED)

27. BEN WILLIAMS Are you OK? DYLAN HACKETT Yeah, I am fine. The pizza rolls, however, are fucked. BEN WILLIAMS Well, damn. That thunder was loud as hell. DYLAN HACKETT It sure was. We hear moaning coming from upstairs. BEN WILLIAMS Do you hear that? It sounds like...moaning. Like someone is in pain. DYLAN HACKETT I think its coming from upstairs. Do you wanna go see what it is? BEN WILLIAMS Oh hell no, I dont want see what it is. Didnt you learn anything from watching all those horror movies? If we go up there to investigate a mysterious noise coming from another room, there is a ninety percent chance of us both getting an axe to the face. I dont want to risk it. DYLAN HACKETT Oh come on, Ben. We have go to see what it is. Chances are its just Dewey messing with us for shits and giggle. BEN WILLIAMS Fine. But be advised, if I die up there and you for some reason dont, I am haunting the fuck out of you, understood? Dylan shakes his hand. DYLAN HACKETT Deal. The two go to the stairs. Dylan realizes something. (CONTINUED)

28.

DYLAN HACKETT Hold on. BEN WILLIAMS What? DYLAN HACKETT I forgot something. Dylan heads off screen. He comes back with a baseball bat. BEN WILLIAMS Whats that for? DYLAN HACKETT Just in case your right. Dylan heads up first. BEN WILLIAMS Asshole. Ben follows. CUT TO: INT. THE HACKETTS KITCHEN--NIGHT The two guys are in the kitchen. They look around. Nothing. DYLAN HACKETT Hm mm, no Dewey. Thats odd. BEN WILLIAMS Maybe, hes out on a patrol, since the whole murder debacle started, maybe he is on a manhunt. DYLAN HACKETT Nah, he called it a night. He wasnt feeling good, said he had an upset stomach. BEN WILLIAMS At least it wasnt a cantankerous stomach... Dylan rolls his eyes. BEN WILLIAMS Just trying to lighten the mood..

(CONTINUED)

29.

DYLAN HACKETT Dewey? Where are you? No response. The camera moves closer as we build suspense. BEN WILLIAMS Officer Hackett, where are you? DYLAN HACKETT Come on Dewey! Where are you, man? OFFICER HACKETT (OFF-SCREEN) RIGHT HERE MOTHER FUCKER! He tackles Dylan down to the ground, knocking the bat out of his hands. Hacketts face is all types of messed up. His face is compose of rotting flesh, his teeth are black. He roars at Dylan. Dylan tries to grab the bat. DYLAN HACKETT Ben! Grab the bat and hit him in the fucking face and then call 911. Ben grabs the bat. He hits Officer Hackett with the bat right in the face, knocking him off of Dylan. Dylan rushes to where Ben is. Officer Hackett cracks his neck, getting ready to attack the two. Hackett rams his head at Bens groin, slamming him into the cabinets. Ben is clearly in pain. The possessed Hackett grabs Dylan by the throat, who is hitting Hackett with the bat repeatedly. Its not working on him. He has Dylan in a choke hold. OFFICER HACKETT I will swallow your soul! He starts spraying blood out of his mouth, covering Dylans shirt in blood. Dylan is horrified. Ben looks at the struggling Dylan as Hackett is about to bite Dylan. He notices the microwave above him and how it is empty. He formulates a plan.

(CONTINUED)

30.

BEN WILLIAMS Hey dick breath, leave him alone! The possessed Hackett turns around. OFFICER HACKETT What did you just say to me, human? BEN WILLIAMS I think you heard me just fine, fuck face. OFFICER HACKETT You kiss your mother with that mouth? BEN WILLIAMS Nah, but I kissed yours with it. The possessed Hackett tries to tackle him but Ben dodges him. Ben grabs the possessed Hackett by the collar and starts ramming Hacketts head in to the microwave. He is hitting Hacketts head with the door repeatedly. Hackett is spraying blood all over Ben and the door. OFFICER HACKETT The master will destroy you! I will swallow your soul! Ben sets the time to 30 seconds on the microwave. He starts holding Hackett down, who is fighting and struggling Ben with all of his might, having fallen for Bens trick. BEN WILLIAMS Swallow this, motherfucker! Ben slams the door and press the start button. Nothing happens. BEN WILLIAMS Thats weird...I kinda expected something to ha... Hacketts head bursts like a bloody balloon, spreading chunks of blood and flesh everywhere, landing on Ben, Dylan, and all around the kitchen. Its a bloody mess. Think of it as a sort of pinata, except with blood and rotten flesh. The headless corpse of Hackett slumps to the ground. Dylan is horrified.

(CONTINUED)

31.

DYLAN HACKETT Holy shit. Holy shit. This is so fucked up. This is so fucked up! BEN WILLIAMS Dylan, you have to calm down, man. DYLAN HACKETT You just microwaved my brothers head! BEN WILLIAMS You dont think I fucking know that, Dylan! DYLAN HACKETT What the hell is wrong with you, man? You expect me to calm down, after you killed my brother. BEN WILLIAMS That thing was not your brother man! That thing that just attacked us was some fucked up hell spawn that wanted to eat us! Ben realizes something. BEN WILLIAMS Holy shit, it makes sense now. Oh my god. DYLAN HACKETT What the fuck are you talking about, Ben? BEN WILLIAMS It makes sense now, Dylan. Crazy Ralph was right. That man at Ghesquire wasnt attacked by a deranged serial killer, Dylan. Forces of evil are attacking this town. Your brother got bit by this thing and eventually became possessed. The Pointes are under attack. Everyone is in danger. Everyone. DYLAN HACKETT What do we do, Ben? We almost got killed by one of these things.

(CONTINUED)

32.

BEN WILLIAMS Easy, we fight them off. It cant be that hard. DYLAN HACKETT With what? BEN WILLIAMS We find supplies, you know guns, ammo, that kind of stuff. DYLAN HACKETT There are guns upstairs. BEN WILLIAMS Well, lets get them. DYLAN HACKETT Good idea. BEN WILLIAMS And well need a car. DYLAN HACKETT Why would we need a car? BEN WILLIAMS This place isnt safe, Dylan. Dylan looks at his brothers corpse. DYLAN HACKETT I guess youre right. Lets get the fuck out of here, before more of this things come. The two run upstairs. INT. DEWEYS BEDROOM--CONTINUED Dylan and Ben rush into the room. DYLAN HACKETT Ben, get me that duffel bag. BEN WILLIAMS You got it man. Dylan opens up the gun box. He puts as much ammo and guns in there as he can. He gives Ben a sawed off shotgun.

(CONTINUED)

33.

DYLAN HACKETT Take this. BEN WILLIAMS Sweet. He closes the gun box and grabs the duffel bag. BEN WILLIAMS You ready to go? DYLAN HACKETT Not yet, I got to take care of something. INT. THE HACKETTS KITCHEN--NIGHT Dylan and Ben approach Hacketts corpse. DYLAN HACKETT I got to do this Ben. BEN WILLIAMS Do what you got to do. He sees what is left of his brothers corpse. He is going to say goodbye. He steps down to where the corpse is talk to the bloody remains of his microwaved brother. DYLAN HACKETT Listen, Dewey. I am sorry for what happened to you, buddy. I really am. I am sorry Ben had to microwave your head. But I want you to know, I am going to fight. I am going to fight for you, buddy. I am going to get to the bottom of this. For you, Dewey. I love you, man. By the way, I stole your guns. I hope thats cool. BEN WILLIAMS Are you looting your brothers corpse? Dylan takes Hacketts pistol. DYLAN HACKETT Yes, I am. Do you have the keys? BEN WILLIAMS Uh huh.

(CONTINUED)

34.

DYLAN HACKETT Alright then, lets get out of here. The two walk out the door, on a mission to stop the forces of darkness that have enveloped their small town. CUT TO: EXT. GROSSE POINTE --NIGHT Dylan and Ben head outside. They hear screaming. DYLAN HACKETT That sounds like it came Monicas house. We should go help her! BEN WILLIAMS I dont know. DYLAN HACKETT Ben! BEN WILLIAMS I know you like this girl a lot, Dylan. Id give anything to see you two together. But, Id hate to have you to see your brother and the girl of your dreams die on the same day. DYLAN HACKETT Shell die if we dont help her! BEN WILLIAMS What if she got bit, Dylan? We couldnt do anything. DYLAN HACKETT Just do this for me, Ben! For once, just do this for me. BEN WILLIAMS Fine. Lets go get her. Ben and Dylan run and then crouch in front of the bushes. BEN WILLIAMS Do you have a plan?

(CONTINUED)

35.

DYLAN HACKETT We run in, kill the things, save her, and then get the fuck out of there. BEN WILLIAMS One problem. Where the fuck do we go? DYLAN HACKETT Any place that isnt here. Now, lets take care of this. BEN WILLIAMS Alright. The two open the front door and head inside. CUT TO: INT. MONICAS HOUSE--NIGHT Ben and Dylan are inside of the house. BEN WILLIAMS It looks empty, Dylan. They head into the living room. The TV is on, although its just static. BEN WILLIAMS I hate this show. It has no story at all. DYLAN HACKETT Knock it off. BEN WILLIAMS Sorry. Dylan looks around. BEN WILLIAMS There is nothing, Dylan. We hear the pump of a shotgun. A young man is pointing a gun right at Dylans face. Another man is pointing one at Ben. SCOTTY Are you one of them?

(CONTINUED)

36.

DYLAN HACKETT What? SCOTTY Answer the fucking question. DYLAN HACKETT No. MARTIN Were you bit? DYLAN HACKETT No. MARTIN What about your friend? BEN WILLIAMS No, I wasnt either. SCOTTY You positive? We dont want any trouble. BEN WILLIAMS I am positive that if you keep this shit up, you are going to have trouble. DYLAN HACKETT Ben! SCOTTY What the fuck did he just say? MARTIN Be cool, Scotty! SCOTTY Shut the fuck up, Martin! How do we know we can trust these assholes? What if they are murderers? MARTIN They arent murderers, Scotty. I know them. They work at the video store in the Village. And Ben was in my gym class, he couldnt kill innocent people even if he tried.

(CONTINUED)

37.

DYLAN HACKETT Hes right, Scotty. We arent here to hurt anyone, we are looking for a girl? She lived her. We heard screaming. Scotty lowers his gun. SCOTTY Youre looking for Monica? DYLAN HACKETT Yeah. She is dead, isnt she? Oh shit, I should have known, fuck, she is gone, damn it... SCOTTY She isnt dead. Shes upstairs with the rest of the group. BEN WILLIAMS Are you serious? We heard screaming coming from here. SCOTTY Yeah, she is fine. Just a little shaken. Her whole family is dead. BEN WILLIAMS Jesus. MARTIN How bad is it out there? DYLAN HACKETT Pretty bad. People were dying left and right. All hell broke loose, we had to kill my own brother. We had nowhere to go. SCOTTY Well, neither did we. I am sorry for loss. DYLAN HACKETT Thanks. SCOTTY You can stay with us, till the Government sorts this all out. Follow me. They follow Scotty and Martin upstairs.

38.

INT. MONICAS HOUSE UPSTAIRS ROOM --CONTINUOUS The four walk up into the room. We see Monica, Shubnell, and another female survivor, Alison. MONICA BRIEDEN Dylan! She runs up and gives Dylan a hug. MONICA BRIEDEN I am so happy to see you! DYLAN HACKETT Me too! SCOTTY Save the chit chat for later, lovebirds. We have bigger things to worry about. We should be prepared, in case the Government comes! ALISON Hes right, we need to believe. BEN WILLIAMS Bullshit. They all turn around. SCOTTY What did you say? BEN WILLIAMS I said bullshit. The government isnt coming. ALISON And what makes you so smart? BEN WILLIAMS This scenario we are in as happened as dozen times in horror movies. SCOTTY Yeah, well, this isnt a horror movie. BEN WILLIAMS It isnt? You could have fooled me. This situation fits the horror criteria. Crazy fucked up things killing people? Check. The (MORE) (CONTINUED)

39.

BEN WILLIAMS (contd) inevitable collapse of society as we know it? Check. The main characters feature a hot blond bimbo, a cop, and a token black guy. Check, check, check! (BUMP) Lets face it, we are in a horror movie! Alison is scared. SCOTTY You are scaring her, asshole! BEN WILLIAMS I am sorry that the truth is scary, I wish I could sugarcoat it, but I cant! People are dying and the Government isnt going to do anything! SCOTTY Yes, they will! DYLAN HACKETT Ben, stop. BEN WILLIAMS Dont fucking shut me up, Dylan! The government is gone! The police...they are gone too...I had to microwave a cops head today. Officer Shubnell is probably the only one left...but no...lets hope that the Government will come and save us from the evil flesh-eating boogie men! SCOTTY Shut up! BEN WILLIAMS Make me, comb over. Scotty points his revolver right at Bens chest. OFFICER SHUBNELL Calm down, Scotty. We dont need this!

(CONTINUED)

40.

SCOTTY Shut up, Shubnell. This isnt your business. And you, Ben, if you say that again, there will be bullet holes in your heart, asshole. Ben points his shotgun right at Scottis crotch. BEN WILLIAMS Call me asshole again, and Ill take away your manhood, fuckface. The two stare each other down. SCOTTY You dont have the guts to shoot me. BEN WILLIAMS I already microwaved a demons head tonight, I am not afraid of some chickenshit punk with a gun. Ben cocks his gun. DYLAN HACKETT Stop this shit! He gets between them. BEN WILLIAMS Dylan, I love you man, but if you dont let me kill this piece of shit, so help me God, youll join him! The two stare at each other. We hear a crash coming from downstairs. The two realize something is downstairs. ALISON What the hell was that? SCOTTY There is something downstairs. Well deal with this shit later. He scowls at Ben. SCOTTY Follow me. The group follows Scotty downstairs.

41.

INT. MONICAS HOUSE--NIGHT The group heads downstairs. SCOTTY Follow me. BEN WILLIAMS We already are. SCOTTY Go fuck yourself. Scotty draws his gun. SCOTTY Whoever is out there, state your name or prepare to being winged! BEN WILLIAMS What are you, an old time sheriff? Getty up, partner! MONICA BRIEDEN Ben, shut the fuck up! BEN WILLIAMS Sorry. Scotty walks down the stairs. He has his gun drawn. SCOTTY Freeze! OFFICER OCONNOR (OFF SCREEN) Thats my line, son. He turns around. SCOTTY Who the fuck are you? OFFICER OCONNOR Randal OConnor, Grosse Pointe Police. Or whats left of it, anyways. OFFICER SHUBNELL OConnor?

(CONTINUED)

42.

OFFICER OCONNOR Shubnell, youre alive? Thank god! I cant find Officer Hackett. DYLAN HACKETT He is dead. He got bit, reanimated, and then head microwaved. OFFICER OCONNOR Head microwaved? DYLAN HACKETT Thats right. OFFICER OCONNOR Damn. OFFICER SHUBNELL What happened to the Chief, OConnor? OFFICER OCONNOR Not a fucking clue, we got separated when all hell broke loose. OFFICER SHUBNELL Shit. SCOTTY What about the local Government? Are they going do something? OFFICER OCONNOR I doubt it. Everyone at City Hall is either demon chow or missing. ALISON Jesus. SCOTTY Are you serious? OFFICER OCONNOR Of course, I am serious. There is no law and order left. The government couldnt jack shit anyways, if the chaos out in the streets is any indicator. SCOTTY Shit.

(CONTINUED)

43. BEN WILLIAMS Booyah, motherfuckers! I was right! Who is the asshole now, Scotty? SCOTTY Fuck you, this is serious. What are we going to do? OFFICER OCONNOR I know a place thats safe. Food. Shelter. Ammo. Everything. BEN WILLIAMS We need to think about this. SCOTTY Shut up. We dont need your opinion. The group is hard pressed. Martin speaks. MARTIN I think we should listen to what Bens saying. SCOTTY What the fuck are you implying, Martin? MARTIN I am not implying anything, Scotty. I am saying we should listen to Ben. SCOTTY Are you fucking serious? MARTIN Yeah, I am. SCOTTY You trust this asshole, Martin? The asshole who had a gun to your face less than ten minutes ago. The asshole who cant take anything seriously? You want him in charge? BILLY Yeah, I do as well. Scotty is annoyed and horrified.

(CONTINUED)

44. ALISON Scotty, stop this! You are tearing the group apart! SCOTTY Listen if I wanted the female opinion, Id ask you, Alison. But, I didnt, so shut your fucking mouth, you stupid bitch. Everyone in the group is shocked. BEN WILLIAMS Dont talk to her like that, comb over. Ill kick your fucking ass. SCOTTY Yeah, I am sure you could, ass clown. Please. I am Scotty Williams, the best player on our local football team. Who the fuck are you? You are just some pansy ass video store clerk at some shitty video... WHAM! Ben punches Scotty in the face, knocking him down. Everyone is shocked. BEN WILLIAMS Who am I? I am the pansy ass video store clerk who just kicked your lilly ass. Scotty is on the ground, wiping the blood of his hand. SCOTTY You asshole, I ki... DYLAN HACKETT Scotty! Scotty turns around. SCOTTY Yeah, Martin? DYLAN HACKETT Could you do us a favor and shut the fuck up? SCOTTY Fuck you! He gets up and points his gun at Dylan and Ben. (CONTINUED)

45.

DYLAN HACKETT Holy shit. MONICA BRIEDEN Scotty, calm down. BILLY Be cool, be cool. SCOTTY I already am cool. I am Scotty Fucking Williams, the king of cool. Only second to the Fonz. OFFICER SHUBNELL It doesnt have to be like this, Scotty. SCOTTY You should shut up. You are the one who brought these bastards in here. OFFICER SHUBNELL Scotty! SCOTTY Dont Scotty me, you fucking pig. OFFICER SHUBNELL Scotty, dont make a decision youre going to regret. I am warning you. Dont make me use lethal force. Scotty lowers the gun. Shubnell approaches him. Scotty shoots Shubnell right in the face, killing him. Shubnells corpse falls to the ground. His blood covers Scottys face. Everybody is shocked. Ben and Dylan point their guns right at him. MARTIN Holy shit! ALISON Scotty, you just fucking killed him! SCOTTY So what? It doesnt matter, Alison. Bens right, there is no government (MORE) (CONTINUED)

46. SCOTTY (contd) to protect us! Shubnell was holding us back. BEN WILLIAMS Actually, psycho, he was holding us back from shooting a big fat bullet right through your fucking skull. OFFICER OCONNOR Word to the wise, never call a psycho a psycho. Its common courtesy. BEN WILLIAMS My mistake. He approaches the window. SCOTTY You see, Shubnell, got what he deserved. He was going to kill me, but what if the urge of killing was so fierce he killed Martin, Ben, and Dylan. And then he proceed to do horrible horrible things to Alison and Monica. MARTIN Have you last your goddamn mind? SCOTTY No, my friend. I have found it. Follow me. Follow me and I can lead us to safety. In this brave new world, its kill or be killed. There is no inbetween. (BUMP) Out there, mercy kills. Its for the weak. These two, they dont have a clue. They think they can lead by the rules of the old world. You cant. You see in this new world, you have to fight. You have to fight for everything you have or they will take it. The creatures out there took my family. And I will be damned if they took Alison or Martin! Stay with me and I will lead you to the promise land! Hes trying to rally the troops. Everyone is still in shock. (CONTINUED)

47.

SCOTTY Or you go with these cowards! These world destroyers! Everything was perfect until these asshole came along! These morons will lead you to certain death! They probably dont have the common sense to look behind them! All of a sudden, hands break through the glass, grabbing Scotty from behind. Scotty is screaming in agony while everyone is in shock. The demons outside literally pull Scotty apart. ALISON Scotty! Martin grabs Alison, holding her back. DYLAN HACKETT Run! The group runs out of the house. The demons are devouring Scotty. Scotty screams at them. Scotty starts trash talking to the demons. SCOTTY Choke on em! Choke on em! CUT TO: EXT. MONICAS HOUSE--NIGHT. The group is outside. We see a police van. MARTIN Now what? OFFICER OCONNOR Everyone in the van! Now! They all run inside of the van. The van drives off. The demons are seen overwhelming the house as the van drives off.