The Rendering Plant by Adam Groff

904.487.2185 vedisagod@hotmail.com

2011

2 Characters ANDER: male, mid 50s RUDD: male, mid 30s DELORES: female, mid 50s Setting A roadside diner somewhere in the Midwest. No year in particular. Winter.

(The setting is bare except for a boxcar diner style booth center stage. ANDER and RUDD sit across from one another in the booth scraping at empty plates with knifes and forks. Their knees touch. It makes them uncomfortable. That quiet, lets not allude to the fact were making male to male physical contact uncomfortable. They simultaneously shift, but to no avail. The plate scraping continues. ANDER looks tired, past his prime. A prime that didnt stick around long enough to be noticed. The skin under his eyes hangs low and dark and when he speaks, its as if hes given up on the chance that anyone cares what he has to say. He smiles about once a year, and when it happens, he usually forgets why before the smile fades. RUDD, on the other hand, has an obliviously happy outlook on life. Sadly, it comes off as ignorance. He easily picks up on ANDERs daily sorrow and just as easily avoids it without even knowing. RUDD would consider ANDER a close friend, whereas ANDER would consider their friendship a point of contention. More plate scraping. It goes on almost to the point of too much. Finally, RUDD stops and looks hard at ANDER.) RUDD Yellow grease. (ANDER continues his plate scraping.) Did you hear me, Ander? Yellow grease I said. Animal fat. (Beat.) Yellow. Grease. (ANDER stops the plate scraping and looks at RUDD.) ANDER What about it, Rudd? RUDD Clogged the grinding mill this morning. Had to push the big red button. Made the whole northwest corner of the plant go down. Entire process went to shit. Alarms started ringing like dinner bells, the fellas down in the bone meal hull were shouting varied obscenities, Frank pissed himself when the conveyor belt screeched to a halt. Too much momentum behind the carcass waste and viscera and what have you. Intestines. Splashed over the guardrail and hit Frank square. Pissed himself, sure of it. I always wanted to push that button. (Beat.) You know, Ander, the big red one.

2 (ANDER looks at RUDD another moment then goes back to scraping. RUDD follows suit.) RUDD (cont.) Wanna know why? Wanna know why, Ander? ANDER Why what? Give your sentence a subject, Rudd. RUDD Why the mill clogged. (ANDER stops scraping his plate and looks at RUDD again.) ANDER Is there any possible way you wont tell me? (RUDD stops scraping and thinks a moment.) RUDD Doubtful. ANDER Then by all means RUDD The fat froze over. I figured it out. Its too cold in the plant. Negative five outside. The fat froze and clogged the grinder. All that slaughter jelly, all that rotting gristle, all those splayed bits just iced up. Too much for the old mill. (They look at one another then start scraping their plates again.) Plant manager ran over screaming like hell shot straight up his ass. Whats his name? ANDER Terry. RUDD Yeah. Asked me why I brought the rendering to a standstill. I told him, I said, Listen here whats his name again? (ANDER stops scraping his plate.) ANDER Terry.

3 RUDD I said, Listen here, Terry, fat froze over. The mill was working too hard. Almost burnt out the motor on the grinder. He appreciated my tact in the situation. (ANDER goes back to scraping.) ANDER Gonna fire me tomorrow. (RUDD stops scraping his plate.) RUDD Who? Give your sentence a subject. (RUDD chuckles. ANDER doesnt.) ANDER Terry! (Beat.) Im getting laid off, Rudd. Tomorrow. RUDD How do you know? ANDER Word gets. RUDD What are you gonna do? ANDER The second Terry walks through that door for his late lunch (ANDER points behind RUDD, stage left), Im jamming this steak knife in his throat. (ANDER holds up his knife. RUDD leans back in his chair, uncomfortably. Before he can say anything, DELORES approaches the table with an empty tray. Shes the kind of plump that takes practice. Her smile is five feet across and when she speaks, you cant help but listen.) DELORES I swear you two could be father and son. Cant ignore the similarities. (ANDER and RUDD turn to DELORES. RUDD awkwardly smiles, trying to shake off ANDERs previous statement.) Must be. Must be father and son. (ANDER and RUDD dont say a word.)

4 DELORES (cont.) You two just seem to share the same characteristics. Cant even say a word when a pretty girl talks to you. Must be in the genes. (Beat.) Sorry if I go on about it everyday, but it just cant be ignored. Same saucer ears, same crooked nose, same lunch order too. Flank steak rare with red beans and potatoes. Like God put you two together just the same, only twenty years apart. Cant get over it. (ANDER looks at RUDD and vice versa.) ANDER No relation, Delores. RUDD Only thing kindred here are midday appetites. DELORES Well, verdicts out until I prove it so. (DELORES begins clearing the plates.) Dessert you two? Got my famous double cherry pie. ANDER and RUDD (simultaneous answer) Not today. (DELORES laughs.) DELORES Like father, like son. (ANDER sighs. DELORES goes to collect the silverware. When she reaches for ANDERs steak knife, he yanks it away.) ANDER Gonna hold onto this awhile. Got some gristle in my teeth. (RUDD looks uneasy.) DELORES There are toothpicks for that sort of inconvenience. Mint flavored. RUDD Hear that, Ander? Mint. (ANDER glares at RUDD.)

5 ANDER Mint dont do it for me, Rudd. DELORES Nothing does at our age, Ander. If mint hit the spot for me, Id have the freshest breath in town. But, I suppose Im too old for anyone to take notice of my spot, so to speak. RUDD Youre young enough, Delores. DELORES Fifty-something isnt nearly young enough. Dont be surprised if you see me rolling down your conveyor belt with the other slaughter soon. ANDER We all end up there one way or another. (DELORES begins to walk away.) DELORES Life runs in circles, dont it? (Beat.) Ill be back with the check and for my steak knife. (DELORES exits stage right. RUDD quickly looks to ANDER.) RUDD You are not stabbing whats his name? ANDER Terry. RUDD You are not stabbing Terry in the throat! ANDER Where should I stab him then? RUDD Nowhere, Ander! Not anywhere at all! Im going to talk you down from this notion, so just listen and try and appreciate my tact in the situation. (ANDER turns stage right where DELORES walked off. He stares a moment.) Ander? (Beat. ANDER slowly turns back to RUDD.)

6 ANDER Do you realize that everyday Delores thinks of a new way to hit on me, and everyday nothing comes of it. (RUDD looks stage right where DELORES walked off, then back to ANDER.) RUDD Not everyday. ANDER Womans luck ran dry before she did. RUDD Thats a thing to say! ANDER Dont mean wrong by it. In fact, if it were any other day than the day Im putting a steak knife in Terrys throat, Id take Delores up on her cherry pie. RUDD Would not. (ANDER runs his thumb across the knifes blade.) ANDER Guess well never know. RUDD Lets you and I take a long walk after lunch. Well take our time, punch-in late. ANDER Its cold out, Rudd. Negative five. Yellow grease freezes over. (Long beat. RUDD struggles with his words.) RUDD Are you serious about this whole thing, Ander? Cause if its a joke, you threatening whats his names life, I just cant seem to find the humor in it and Im searching too. Tell me youre pulling my leg, cause I cant tell. I cant tell if my legs being pulled. ANDER My wife was a beauty queen in thirteen out of the surrounding twenty-two counties all at the same time. Did you know that about my wife, Rudd? Thirteen including this one. (RUDD looks confused by this statement.)

7 RUDD Norma? ANDER Thats right, Norma. (Beat.) She rode so many floats that year, waved at so many people, she almost acquired arthritis in both wrists. Thirteen counties, Rudd. (Suddenly, from stage right, DELORES enters. She has a smile on her face, waving her hand delicately in all directions, while holding a bouquet of roses close to her chest. She walks slowly.) She was the Strawberry Queen over there in Tanner County, May Queen in Alber County, and Wheat Queen up in Chalk. She hated being Wheat Queen on account of the fact she had to ride on a tractor. They had her emerge on it from a field of gold stalks. It was late afternoon and the dust that kicked up off the crop commenced to a blue haze that set her allergies off like a bad rash. (DELORES continues across the stage toward ANDER and RUDDs booth. To them, its as if shes not there. She continues waving and smiling.) After the parade, she came to me crying. Said she was upset that she didnt look her best on account of her sneezing fit. I told her it made her look more dedicated, more beautiful than she would if she werent making all that noise. Dont know if that was a lie or not. Could never tell. (DELORES approaches the booth and sits on the tabletop between ANDER and RUDD. ANDER looks up at her face. RUDD keeps looking forward as if its still just ANDER sitting across from him. DELORES continues to wave and smile.) But my favorite was when Norma was Rose Queen of this here county. Last crowning of her thirteen strong winning streak. Stole my heart that day. (DELORES begins pulling roses from the bouquet and softly throwing them toward the audience.) RUDD Why was that your favorite, Ander? ANDER Well, Rudd, that was the last time I saw my wife smile. She became very angry for a long time after that. (DELORES smile starts to fade and she begins throwing the roses with more force.)

8 ANDER (cont.) I suppose nothing came close to that moment in her life. Maybe she expected something more out of it all. Cant say. I used to tell her she was the best thing that ever happened to me. (Beat.) Dont know if that was a lie or not either. (DELORES looks furious. She is now ripping the roses from the bouquet and slinging them hard. Long beat.) She chopped her wrists all to hell with my box blade last night. (DELORES stops what shes doing, drops the roses, and stands. RUDD looks terrified. He is now face to face with ANDER again.) RUDD She didnt ANDER Shes out on our front porch. Face down in the snow. Blood froze all around her. Pushed out from the gashes like it had been waiting to do so since the moment she got off that last float. (DELORES turns to ANDER, stares at him a moment, then walks off stage right. RUDD is stunned.) RUDD Youre serious? All of it? ANDER Yes. RUDD Did you call the authorities, Ander? ANDER No, Rudd, I did not. RUDD What are you going to do? ANDER Put a steak knife in Terrys throat. I thought we established that. RUDD Why? (RUDD becomes very uneasy. He begins to squirm.)

9 ANDER Cause I dont want to go home. (DELORES walks on from stage right, sweeping the roses into a pile with a broom. She approaches the booth, pulls a check out of her apron, and places it on the table. ANDER looks to her. RUDD keeps his eyes on ANDER.) DELORES You two can settle this whenever youre ready. ANDER Id say were ready. (Beat.) Rudd, we ready? (RUDD doesnt answer.) DELORES You there, Rudd? ANDER Rudd got to push the big red button this morning. Shut down half the factory. DELORES I heard. Made a big mess. ANDER Slung slaughter. DELORES That what they call it at the plant, huh? ANDER Sure. Dont they, Rudd? (RUDD keeps staring at ANDER. We hear the jingle of a bell as if someone has just entered the diner. ANDER, RUDD, and DELORES turn stage left.) (ANDER slowly stands and heads stage left with the steak knife in his hand. He conceals the knife just enough for DELORES not to notice it.) DELORES Trying to skip out on the check there, Ander? (ANDER turns to DELORES. She smiles. He walks up close to her face. RUDD watches them.)

10 ANDER You know, Delores, if I werent a married man, Id ask you out for dinner. Just thought Id let you know that. (DELORES blushes. ANDER walks offstage, knife gripped tightly in his hand. DELORES turns to RUDD.) DELORES I just cant get past it. You two must be father and son. Must be. (RUDD looks up at DELORES.) RUDD I never knew my father, Delores. (Beat.) Never knew him. (Curtain.) END OF PLAY