EXTRACURRICULAR

Episode 1

Written by

Harry George

16 st Johns rd
Clifton
Bristol
BS8 2EX
SCENE 1

CLOSE UP OF MIKE (15) STANDING

WITH HIS BACK TO AN EMPTY ROAD
TALKING TO THE CAMERA, YOU CAN
JUST SEE THE BACK OF THE GIRL’S
HEAD TO THE RIGHT.

MIKE:

Tom? No no no, when you get to know him you

realise he’s really not that childish. He’s a good
guy. He’s mature, funny, not that bad looking and
an honestly decent guy.

TOM (15) COMES DOWN THE HILL ON A

THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE CHILDS
TOY AND PASSES BEHIND MIKE. YOU
HEAR A LOUD CRASH.

TOM:

(O.O.V) I’m ok

MIKE:
So do

TOM:
(O.O.V) I think

MIKE:
So, do you want me to introduce you to him…
Please!

CUT TO: INTRO

-1-
SCENE 2

CLOSE UP OF A MATHS TEXT BOOK

WITH A HALF FINISHED EQUATION AT
THE TOP AND THEN SPED UP
“EXTRACURICULAR” IS DOODLED IN AN
EXTREMELY FANCY WAY.

-2-
SCENE 3

SOFA SHOP WITH THREE PEOPLE

SITTING DOWN: TOM, MIKE, AND SUZY
(15)

SUZY:
You certainly have a way with the ladies Tom

MIKE:
Suzy’s right Tom, smooooth

TOM:
Yes Mike, because the girls are streaming all over
you

MIKE:
I know a girl

SUZY:
What’s wrong with her?

MIKE:
Why do you think something’s wrong with her?

SUZY:
Well for a start, she must be stupid because she’s
talking to you

MIKE:
That’s not fair

TOM:
Girls have a sixth sense for nerds

-3-
SUZY:
It’s true

MIKE:
Oh come on, you’re over-reacting

TOM:
Remember when the new girl came

CUT TO: COMMON ROOM IN PAST

-4-
SCENE 4

GIRL IS STANDING ON OWN, LOOKING

LOST, MIKE WALKS OVER

MIKE:
Hi, I’m Mike, what’s your name?

SOPHIE:
Hi, my name’s sophie . . . you don’t get out much
do you?

MIKE:
LOOKS AT WATCH

5 seconds . . . a new record. The last girl noticed

in 3. So, do you want me to show you around?

SOPHIE:
Are you coming on to me?

MIKE:
What?

SOPHIE:
Well, you seem incompetent with girls, and unable
to flirt, so I wasn’t sure.

MIKE:
I can flirt

SOPHIE:
FOLDS ARMS

Go on then

-5-
MIKE:
Ok

CLEARS THROAT AND STRAITENS

CLOTHES

So, how about you show me your USB port, and I’ll
show you my hardware, if you know what I mean

RAISES EYEBROWS, JESS JUST

STARES

USB, universal serial bus

SOPHIE:
Ok . . . I just remembered I need to be over there
right now

WALKS AWAY, TOM COMES OVER

TOM:
Smooth

MIKE:
Think I was too forward?

CUT TO: COMMON ROOM PRESENT

-6-
SCENE 5

SOFA SHOP, TOM AND SUZY WATCHING

MIKE

MIKE:
Oh come on, we’ve all done worse

SUZY:
True . . . hi Fina

FINA (15) WALKS OVER AND SITS

DOWN.

FINA:
What are you guys talking about?

SUZY:
Mike has a new lady friend

FINA:
Oh really, what’s wrong with her?

MIKE:
Why does everyone assume that I’m like IE to a
Mac, when it comes to girls!? Anyway, she’s not
my lady friend, just a friend who happens to be a
lady

FINA:
Because you’re a nerd

-7-
TOM:
You got PWND

FINA:
Like you’re any better

MIKE:
Name one time that we’ve done something
ridiculously nerdy.

SUZY:
I’ve got one. Remember when I came round your
house last week?

MIKE AND TOM:

OBVIOUSLY LYING

No

SUZY:
Well I came round after Ella’s party and

MIKE:
Wait a minute, did you leave Ella’s early?

SUZY:
I never leave early

MIKE:
But you came round Tom’s at 20:01 and Ella’s
finished at 20:00

SUZY:
You just need to be organised

-8-
 TOM, MIKE, AND FINA EXCHANG
CONFUSED GLANCES

And I went to your room and

CUT TO: TOM’S ROOM

-9-
SCENE 6

TOM’S ROOM IS COVERED IN GAMES

MAGAZINES, GAMES, DISMANTLED
HARDWARE, AND A PC

TOM AND MIKE ARE SINGING THE

ORIGINAL POKEMON THEME SONG,
HALF-WAY THROUGH SUZY COMES
INTO THE BACKGROUND, OBVIOUSLY
TRYING VERY HARD NOT TO LAUGH

WHEN MIKE AND TOM FINISH, SUZY

CLAPS

MIKE:
Oh, hey Suzy, I didn’t see you there

SUZY:
LAUGHING

You guys are so goddamn cool

TOM:
(V.O.) Wait a minute

CUT TO: COMMON ROOM

-10-
SCENE 7

TOM:
That’s not nerdy, that’s just sad

MIKE:
Well I have to go and shout at my graphics
coursework some more

TOM:
How bad can that coursework be?

MIKE:
Well it’s the blue book of doom that does it

TOM:
Blue book of doom?

MIKE:
It tells you what exactly needs to go on each page

SUZY:
So what’s the problem

MIKE:
Well it isn’t always crystal clear

CUT TO:MIKES BEDROOM

-11-
SCENE 8

MIKE FINISHES PLAYING ON HIS

CONSOLE AND STARTS LOOKING AT HIS
COURSEWORK WHICH IS IN A BIG PILE
ON HIS DESK

MIKE:
Ok, what do I need to do?

PULLS OUT A COUPLE OF A4 SHEETS

OF PAPER STAPLED TOGETHER WITH A
BLUE COVER AND FLICKS THROUGH IT

Page 13, corporate identity. Show the different

CAD techniques you used to create your corporate
identity and how you linked them using CAD and
CAM using the CAMM2 for manufacturing….

LOOKS BLANK

Oh yeah, border

FADE TO:MIKE FINISHING OFF AN OVERLY FANCY

BORDER, CLOCK HAS GONE FORWARD 10 MINUTES

Ahh perfect… ummmm…

MIKES PHONE RINGS, HE SHUFFLES

THROUGH THE MANY SHEETS ON HIS
DESK TO FIND IT AND ANSWERS IT

Hello?... Oh hi Luke… what, you couldn’t work it

out!? Its simple you muppet. All you need to do is
explain the whole CAM and CAD aspects of your
corporate identity linking it through to the
CAMM2…. Not a clue either no, sorry… you too….
Bye.

-12-
HANGS UP, PUTS PHONE DOWN, LOOKS AT
WORK, SIGHS AND LETS HEAD DROP ONTO
TABLE.

CUT TO:SOFA SHOP

-13-
SCENE 9

FINA:
Sounds fun

MIKE:
Oh it really is, like running through a field of cacti
blindfolded

FINA:
No bitterness there then, well I’m off to see Lucian
what are you guys up to?

MIKE:
Tom, you still up for coming round mine and
playing some Halo?

TOM:
Sure, but I’ll have to leave early because I have to
come up with a good excuse as to why I haven’t
done my coursework for tomorrow

FINA:
Wait, instead of staying up tonight and working out
a good excuse as to why you didn’t do your
coursework, why don’t just do the coursework?

TOM:
. . . but that might involve actually doing the
course work.

FINA ROLLS HER EYES AND SIGHS

FINA:
Might? I don’t know why I try anymore.

-14-
TOM:
Nor do we. Hey, how come we’ve never met your
friend Lucian

FINA:
Umm, because he’s an old childhood friend, and
you’ll probably scare him off with your sad
nerdiness

MIKE:
Oh come on, we could be worse . . .

CUT TO: PARK

-15-
SCENE 10

LUCIAN (15) AND FINA ARE WALKING

ALONG THE ROAD AND MIKE AND TOM
JUMP OUT OF A TREE, THEN IN SLOW
MOTION, MIKE THROWS A GRAPHICS
FOLDER AT FINA, AND LUCIAN DIVES IN
FRONT OF THE FOLDER WHILE
SCREAMING “NO!” AND TAKES THE
BLOW, BACK TO NORMAL SPEED, TOM
AND MIKE RUN AWAY, WHILST LUCIAN
LIES ON THE GROUND CHOKING, FINA
CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM AND
SUPPORTS HIS HEAD

FINA:
Lucian, are you, oh no

SHE OPENS HIS JACKET, TO FIND

BLOOD

LUCIAN:
My queen, I have failed you, I am so

COUGHS UP SOME BLOOD

So sorry

FINA:
No, you haven’t failed me, you saved my life, for
that I am forever in your debt

LUCIAN:
Smile for me, one last time, and I’ll consider the
debt paid

FINA TRIES TO SMILE, AND LUCIAN

SMILES BACK

You are as beautiful as the day I met you

-16-
 LUCIAN REACHES UP, AND STROKES
THE HAIR OUT OF HER EYES

Goodbye, my love

LUCIAN GOES LIMP. FINA CLOSES HIS

EYES, AND PUTS HIM DOWN GENTLEY,
TAKES A DEEP BREATH, THEN LOOKS
STRAIGHT UP, AND SCREAMS “NO!”

CUT TO: COMMON ROOM

-17-
SCENE 11

FINA GIVES MIKE A STRANGE LOOK,

SUZY HAS DISAPPEARED

MIKE:
What? It could happen . . .

FINA:
What? A mad man jump out and kill him with a
graphics folder?

MIKE:
Remember Timmy?

THEY ALL LOOK AT FLOOR, AND SHAKE

THEIR HEADS

TOM:
Poor Timmy

FINA:
He was so young

MOMENT OF SILENCE

Well, I should go, I’ve got coursework to do

TOM:
Eugh!

FINA:
I know, but what are you gonna do? See you guys
tomorr… where’s Suzy

-18-
MIKE:
CHECKS WATCH

She has a rehearsal now

FINA:
That girl scares me, well see you around

CUT TO: STREET – NEXT DAY

-19-
SCENE 12

TOM AND MIKE ARE WALKING ALONG,

MIKE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A RANT AND
IS SPEAKING VERY ANIMATIDLY.

MIKE:
each other but then ZOMBIES will take over the
world and we will be the only 4 survivors but we
won’t cooperate because were not talking to each
other and as a result we will split up into 2 different
groups but because we have split up we don’t
have enough man power to stop the zombie
onslaught ending life as we know it and dooming
the human race forever.

TOM:
You finished yet?

MIKE:
Just about

JESSICA: (O.O.V)
Mike Mike, wait up, Mike

MIKE:
QUITELY TO TOM

Don’t turn around

TOM:
Isn’t that Jessica?

MIKE:
Im really not in the mood for

-20-
JESSICA:
RUNS UP TO THEM AND GRABS MIKES
SHOULDER PULLING HIM AROUND
WHILST SHE CATCHES HER BREATH

Wait… we

MIKE:
Fuck off Jessica

TOM:
Mike?

JESSICA:
I know its been a while since we last talked and we
didn’t exactly leave it the best possible way but..
Im so sorry Mike, please just hear me out, wh…

MIKE:
Hear me out first, fuck off, go away, goodbye.

MIKE WALKS OFF

TOM:
Im so sorry jess, hes just had a really bad day, are
you ok?

JESSICA:
Im fine, I just remembered I need to be
somewhere

WALKS OFF QUICKLY IN OPOSITE

DIRECTION

TOM:
Sorry

-21-
 RUNS TO CATCH UP WITH MIKE

Mike, don’t you think you where a little harsh on

her back then

MIKE:
nope

TOM:
I know the whole Eleanor situation is complicated
but…

MIKE:
Im not using Eleanor as an excuse, even if it
wasn’t for Eleanor I would still feel the same way
about her

THEY ARE OUTSIDE THE SOFA SHOP

AND TOM GRABS IS SHOULDER AND
STOPS HIM FROM WALKING IN

TOM:
Mike, every guy in our school wants to go out with
her, why wo

MIKE:
Because she knows it, alright?

TAKES A DEEP BREAK THEN WALKS

INTO THE SHOP AND SEES FINA AND
SUZY

Alright?

FINA:
Alive, you?

-22-
TOM:
Just about

THEY BOTH SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA

SUZY:
So how did your um…

TAKES OUT NOTEBOOK AND FLICKS

THROUGH IT

Halo, that was it, strange mental block, game go?

FINA:
Do you take notes on everything??

SUZY:
I kind of do yeah….

FINA:
Creepy… anyway, how did it go?

MIKE + TOM IN UNISON:

Great!

FINA:
I bet it was really REALLY nerdy

TOM:
It wasn’t THAT nerdy

GLANCES AT HARRY

CUT TO: TOM’S ROOM

-23-
SCENE 13

WHEN MIKE OR TOM SPEAKS IT CUTS

TO A HEADSHOT OF THEM, THEY ARE
WEARING XBOX HEADSETS AND THE
ONLY LIGHT SOURCE IS THE MONITOR
THERE STARING AT (OUT OF SHOT) SO
THAT BEHIND THEM IS ALMOST
COMPLETELY BLACK.

TOM:

MAKES A FAKE STATIC SOUND

Come in blue eagle this is dark arrow do you read

me over

FAKE STATIC SOUND

MIKE:
FAKE STATIC SOUND

This is blue eagle I hear you load and clear over

FAKE STATIC SOUND

TOM:
FAKE STATIC SOUND

Blue eagle, we are pinned down behind Enemy

lines and are in need of supplies over

FAKE STATIC SOUND

MIKE:
FAKE STATIC SOUND

Roger that dark arrow, hold tight, supplies are on

their way over and out

-24-
 CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO SHOW MIKE
AND TOM SITTING NEXT TO
EACHOTHER AND MIKE PASSES
BISCUITS OVER TO TOM

CUT TO:SOFA SHOP

-25-
SCENE 14

FINA:
The height of cool really

MIKE:
Go on then, what amazingly cool thing did you get
up to?

TOM:
You and Lucian go to a nightclub and like totally
rock it out dude

HIGH FIVES MIKE

YEAH!!!

FINA:
STARES AT TOM FOR A SECOND

Oh you’re so unsophisticated, we went to a poetry

reading

MIKE:
Scrubs box set marathon with popcorn?

FINA:
LOOKS AT FLOOR SHEEPISHLY

Maybe….

TOM:
So Suzy, what you been up to?

-26-
SUZY:
LAUGHS EVILY

Same old same old

CUT TO: SUZYS ROOM

-27-
SCENE 15

OVER HANGING LIGHT WITH A MAP ON

THE WALL WITH THINGS CIRCLED AND
PHOTOS ON IT, BROWN FOLDERS
MARKED “TOP SECERT” EVERYWHERE
AND SUZY IS SITTING THERE WITH
BACK TO CAMERA, YOU CAN SEE OVER
HER SHOULDER THAT SHE HAS A
FOLDER OPEN WITH INFORMATION AND
A BLACK AND WHITE PHOTO OF TOM
LOOKING TO THE LEFT.

SUZY:
Got him!

LAUGHS SOME MORE, LEANS BACK ON

CHAIR AND OVER-DOES IT AND FALLS
OFF

CUT TO: SOFASHOP

-28-
SCENE 16

TOM:
Why is it always me that’s in your evil plots?

SUZY:
‘cus you’re cute

FINA:
Awww, Tom’s gone all red!

TOM:
Damn you! Now you’ve said it it’s going to happen
isn’t it?

MIKE:
Judging by your face I’d say yeah

TOM:
Well why don’t you tell them what happened when
the power went out!?

MIKE LOOKS AT FLOOR AND STARTS TO

GO RED

Now who’s going red?!

FINA:
Oooh I’m intrigued, what did happen?

SUZY:
We don’t need to know

OPENS NOTEBOOK ON A BLANK PAGE

AND GETS PEN READY

-29-
NOW we need to know

MIKE:
Well….

CUT TO: TOM’S ROOM

-30-
SCENE 17

TOM AND MIKE ARE SITTING THERE

PLAYING HALO. THE POWER THEN
CUTS OUT, MAKING EVERYTHING
COMPLETELY BLACK, AND YOU HEAR
THEM TALKING THROUGH THE
DARKNESS

MIKE:
What happened?

TOM:
Must be a black out

MIKE:
I can’t see a thing

TOM:
Here

MIKE:
What’s this?

TOM:
Just put it on

MIKE:
Ooh, shiny

TOM’S ROOM COMES BACK INTO

FOCUS, COMPLETELY GREEN, AS IF
LOOKING THROUGH NIGHT-VISION,
TOM AND MIKE ARE WEARING CRUDELY
HOME MADE NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES

Ok, you bought some night-vision goggles?

-31-
TOM:
What do you take me for - someone who isn’t
cheap? I made them myself.

MIKE:
You made your own night-vision goggles, how?

TOM:
Was easy, all I needed was an old Winders box,
some toilet rolls, and black paint

MIKE:
NODS UNDERSTANDINGLY

Cool, so what do we do now?

TOM:
I don’t know, there’s no leccy, what can we do?

MIKE:
Up for some Halo?

TOM:
Mike, leccy!

MIKE:
Fine, I’ll just check my email, then go on
Unification Wars for a little bit and…

TOM:
Ummm . . .

-32-
MIKE:
Red vs. Blue? Invader Zim? Television? Online
comics? No! this is so horrible! God it sounds
quiet in here.

TOM:
Probably due to the fact that none of the computer
fans are on

MIKE:
FIGHTS BACK TEARS

I miss them already, I’ll cover it up with some

music.

PRESSES BUTTON ON MUSIC PLAYER

Noo!

RUNS OUT OF ROOM, TOM FOLLOWS,

AND SEE MIKE RUNNING BACK
TOWARDS STAIRS, HITS LEG ON FIRST
STEP, AND FALLS BACKWARDS, THEN
GETS UP AND RUNS UPSTAIRS WITH
TOASTER

TOM:
What are you doing?

MIKE:
Don’t try and stop me Tom, I can’t go on without
electricity

MIKE PUSHES PAST TOM AND GOES

INTO BATHROOM, YOU HEAR WATER
RUNNING

-33-
TOM:
So, you’re going to kill yourself instead of spending
a couple of hours without electricity?

MIKE:
Yep

TOM:
With a toaster?

MIKE:
I’m going to electrocute myself and there’s nothing
you can do to stop me

TOM:
You’re going to electrocute yourself?

MIKE:
Yep

TOM:
Without electricity?

MIKE:
No!

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-34-
SCENE 18

SUZY
Wait a second, weren’t you going to go to Mike’s
house?

TOM:
We decided mine was easier because you have to
go up a hill to get there

SUZY:
You really don’t, it’s COMPLELTY flat!

TOM:
No it’s true, and ill prove it

CUT TO: OUTSIDE ROAD

-35-
SCENE 19

TOM IS THERE WITH A LEVEL GAUGE

ON THE PAVMENT AND POINTS TO IT

TOM:
See, Mikes house IS uphill

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-36-
SCENE 20

SUZY:
Oh hardly, but I’ll give it to you

TOM:
Thank you

FINA AND MIKE LOOK AT EACH OTHER

FINA:
I think I missed something

MIKE:
Me too

FINA:
So what did you guys do to survive the power cut?

MIKE:
What makes you think we survived?

FINA DOES A SWEEPING HAND

GESTURE TO INDICATE THAT HE’S
RIGHT HERE

Technicality. Fine, well Tom came up with most of

the ideas

CUT TO: TOM’S BEDROOM

-37-
SCENE 21

MIKE IS WEARING A BLANKET, AND

SHAKING. TOM OFFERS HIM A MUG

TOM:
I’m sorry it’s cold, but you know . . .

MIKE JUST GLARES

You know it’s not all bad, people used to have a

fun time without electricity.

MIKE:
Lies, all lies!

TOM:
No, seriously, we could play some none leccy
games, like . . . .

MIKE:
Pac-man?

TOM:
Hide and seek, I’ll go first, close your eyes and
count to one hundred

MIKE:
Fine

PUTS DOWN MUG, AND COVERS HIS

NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES, AND BEGINS
TO COUNT

FADE TO:

-38-
 TOM IS STANDING BEHIND THE
CURTAINS, MIKE FINISHES COUNTING
AND LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM, SEES
TOM AND SIGHS

MIKE:
This sucks, there are no good hiding places at…
wait a minute, ok you count!

TOM:
LOOKS UNSURE

ok

TOM STARTS COUNTING

FADE TO:

TOM FINISHES COUNTING LOOKS

AROUND AND THEN LAUGHS, CAMERA
PULLS OUT TO SHOW MIKE IN A
CORNER WITH A DUVAY OVER HIS
HEAD

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-39-
SCENE 22

FINA:
I take back what I said before, you two embody
cool

TOM AND MIKE HIGH FIVE

Oh dear, oh I forgot to ask, what did your excuse

end up being

SUZY:
I can guess

CUT TO:CLASS ROOM

-40-
SCENE 23

YOU CAN ONLY SEE THE DOOR, TOM

RUNS IN LOOKING REALLY SCRUFFY
AND OUT OF BREATH AND USES
DOORFRAME FOR SUPPORT

TOM:
Bears miss, BEARS

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-41-
SCENE 24

FINA:
Oh have some faith in him, what was your excuse?

TOM:
Much better then that stupid bears one

SCENE 23.
(((YOU CAN ONLY SEE THE DOOR, TOM
RUNS IN LOOKING REALLY SCRUFFY
AND OUT OF BREATH AND USES
DOORFRAME FOR SUPPORT

TOM:
Bears miss, BEARS)))

FINA:
Ahh, I see…so you got in trouble then

TOM:
No, well yes but not for that

FINA:
What did you do?

TOM:
It was Mikes idea, he came up with the game

SUZY:
Game?

-42-
MIKE:
Well every maths lesson some of the little kids are
sent into our lesson for misbehaving, so 1point is if
they are polite, 2 points for grumpy and 3 if they hit
or slam things or argue back. One person guesses
how many points that lesson will be, and the other
person says higher or lower.

SUZY:
I can see where this is going

TOM:
Mike had guessed 3, and id said higher, and wed
just had one grumpy kid sent into our lesson. Then
near the end of the lesson a kid walks and slams
the door open, and I don’t think my maths teacher
appreciated me going

CUT TO: MATHS CLASS

-43-
SCENE 25

TOM IS SITTING NEXT TO MIKE ON

DESKS AT THE BACK, TOM PUTS HIS
HANDS IN THE AIR AND CHEARS AND
MIKE THROWS HIS PENCIL DOWN IN
DEFEAT

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-44-
SCENE 26

TOM:
She seemed to think I was deliberately
encouraging him, and didn’t belive me when I
explained our game to her

FINE:
Now that’s a surprise, it being such a normal thing
to do

TOM:
Exactly, on the upside however she did forget all
about my bear excuse

MIKE:
Well I should head off, people to see and whatnot

GETS UP TO LEAVE

TOM:
AWKWARDLY

Are you going to go see… you know?

MIKE:
yeah

FINA:
How long has it been now?

MIKE:
3 weeks 1 month

-45-
SUZY:
Best of luck

MIKE:
Thanks

FINA:
Well I should probably get going as well, I really
need to get this English done

SUZY:
SQUEALS AND THE OTHER 3 JUMP

English I forgot, I better go now

TOM:
I’ll walk you back

SUZY:
Thanks

THEY ALL LEAVE

FADE TO: STREET

-46-
SCENE 27

TOM AND SUZY ARE WALKING ALONG

SUZY:
What’s up with you and Mike?

TOM:
Wada you mean

SUZY:
I saw the conversation you 2 where having before
you came in

TOM:
Oh that, he got really would up because we
bumped into Jessica.

SUZY:
Im guessing there still not best of friends then

TOM:
He told her, erm, fuck off I think where his exact
words

SUZY:
Ouch, is it just the Eleanor thing or is it something
to do with the last time they spoke?

TOM:
both

-47-
SUZY:
Do you have any idea what happened? all I know
is they where really quite close and then suddenly
they weren’t speaking anymore

TOM:
Youd have to ask them, I wonder if she even
knows about Eleanor?

SUZY:
Unlikely, unsurprisingly he does what he can to
avoid talking about it… anyway, on a hopefully
happier topic, how goes you

TOM:
Could be worse I guess

SUZY:
Tell me about it

TOM:
I guess I cant really complain, I could be as short
as you

SUZY HITS TOM ON THE ARM AND TOM

RETALIATES BY FLICKING SUZYS LEG
WITH THE BACK OF HIS HAND.

SUZY:
OUCH!

TOM LOOKS QUESTIONINGLY

Its just a bit sore from netball is all

-48-
TOM:
LOOKS UNCONVINCED

Hey suzy, umm, I was wondering if you wanted to

meet up some time, as in just me and you

SUZY:
Why?

TOM:
Well in a big group we never really get a chance to
talk

THEY STOP OUTSIDE SUZYS HOUSE

SUZY:
This is my house

TOM:
Wada you say?

SUZY:
sure, sounds good, best of luck with your English,
sounds like youll need it.

TOM:
Thanks a lot, and the same goes for you to

FADE TO: ROOM

-49-
SCENE 28

MIKE IS SITTING ON A CHAIR FACING

THE CAMERA, BEHIND HIM IS NOTHING
BUT A PLAIN BLUE WALL

MIKE:
Hey, it's me again, uhm, Mike. *long pause while
shuffling, stares at floor* sorry, I just.. this is, well,
its still really weird, d... do you think it ever gets
better... uh, normal? How have i been? (quicker)
how have i been... how have i been? Its been a
long week *nervous laughter* Nothings happened,
well, *actual laughter and a smile* there was me
and Tom, the power cut you know? These little
night vision goggles that he'd made, pretty cool...
*pause* well yeah, anyway, we were playing hide
and seek, but just in his room. So hiding places
were a little limited, even you wouldn't have been
able to find anywhere... well, *half laugh/change
topic* and school? *mmhm noise* school, *head in
hands, rubbing eyes tiredly with a resigned smile*
same old really, so of course, far too much work
*loud sigh*. I think Fina's having a hard time of it, ill
check on her, make sure shes okay *eyes go out
of focus, staring off camera* *hands do kind of
shrug* *focus back on camera* i know i know, look
after myself before worrying about the world,
youve must have told me that a thousand times
and i still wont listen. Wouldn't listen...*swallows
nervously* I'm doing okay, things aren't THAT
bad... well... but what ya gonna do eh? ... *breaths
out loudly* what are you going to do?

-50-
FADE TO: FINAS ROOM

-51-
SCENE 29

FINA WORKING LOOKING REALLY

STRESSED OUT, LUCIAN CREEPS UP
BEHIND HER AND PUTS HIS HANDS
OVER HER EYES

LUCIAN:
Guess who

FINA:
Hey Lucian

LUCIAN:
How did you know it was me?

TAKES HIS HANDS OFF HER EYES

FINA:
The smell

LUCIAN:
Thanks a lot

FINA:
Oh you know I love you really

LUCIAN:
I know

HUGS HER FROM BEHIND THEN WALKS

ROUND AND CROUCHES NEXT TO HER
CHAIR

Soooooo… what you doing?

-52-
FINA:
Its this stupid work, I can’t fucking cope, I keep
trying and trying to get it right but it just won’t work,
I’ve done it about 100 times!!!!

LUCIAN:
Oh come on, there’s no need to exaggerate

FINA:
No really - look!

SHOT OF HER BIN WITH A HUGE PILE

OF SCREWED UP PAPER

I keep trying to do this and no matter how many

times I do it just sounds like a load of SHIT. I HATE
THIS. It’s just not fair, sometimes I wish I could just
crawl into a dark hole and waste away to nothing
but I know the teachers would just come and find
me in my hole and GIVE ME COURSEWORK!!

CATCHES BREATH

LUCIAN:
GIGGLES

hole

FINA HITS LUCIAN

Look, I’ve got something here that will cheer you

up

LUCIAN REACHES BEHIND FINA’S EAR

AND PULLS OUT HER EARING AND
HANDS IT TOO HER

Tada!

-53-
FINA:
This is MY earring, I was wearing it just then, all
you did was take it off my ear.

LUCIAN:
Or did I

WAVES HANDS MYSTICALLY

FINA:
Yes you did

LUCAIN:
Fine, have this instead

PULLS A CHOCLATE BAR OUT OF HIS

POCKET AND HANDS IT TOO HER

Your friend is coming so it’s time to make my exit

SHIMMYS ALONG THE WALL (FOR NO

OBVIOUS REASON) THEN DIVES
ACROSS THE FLOOR AND LANDS FLAT
ON HIS STOMACH AND ROLLS OUT OF
SHOT, FINA SMILES AND GOES BACK TO
HER COURSEWORK THEN MIKE WALKS
IN

MIKE:
Hey, how’s things?

FINA POINTS TO THE HUGE PILE OF

COURSEWORK

So, good then?

FINA GLARES

I just thought I would pop round and give you this

-54-
 MIKE PASSES HER THE SAME TYPE OF
CHOCOLATE BAR

FINA:
Thanks… Lucian gave me the exact…

STARTS LIFTING UP PAPER TO

LUCIAN’S CHOCOLATE BAR WHICH HAS
GONE MISSING

I swear my coursework has developed sentient life

and is eating all my stuff

MIKE:
Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’ll turn up

MIKE SCRUFFLES FINAS HAIR AND

TURNS AROUND TO WALK OFF WHEN
SHE RUGBY TACKLES HIM TO THE
FLOOR

CUT TO:MIKES ROOM

-55-
SCENE 30

MIKE IS LIEING IN BED ON HIS FRONT

WITH HIS JEANS STILL ON.

ALARMCLOCK GOES OFF WAKING HIM

UP, HE GROANS, HITS THE
ALARMCLOCK STOPPING THE ALARM
AND THEN HE PICKS UP HIS
HEADPHONES, PUTS THEM ON AND
PRESSES PLAY AND IT STARTS
PLAYING SANDSTORM BY CAST. HE
SITS UP, SIGHS AND RUBS HIS FACE,
GETS UP, WALKS OVER AND HITS THE
POWER BUTTON FOR HIS LAPTOP.
PICKS UP SOME PAPER, PUTS IT IN AN
EXERCISE BOOK AND PUTS THE BOOK
IN HIS BAG. GRABS THE T-SHIRT THAT’S
ON THE FLOOR AND WITH GREAT
DIFFICULTY PUTS IT ON, DOUBLE
CLICKS ON HIS LAPTOP AND FLICKS
THROUGH HIS EMAILS. SHUTS THE
LID.AND HEADS OUT THE DOOR.
COMES DOWNSTAIRS AND WALKS PAST
THE DINNING ROOM ELEANOR
(VIEWERS DON’T KNOW WHO SHE IS
YET) IS SITTING, SHE NODS AT HIM HE
NODS BACK, WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN
GETS OUT A BOWL, SMASHES IT,
SWEARS, SWEEPS THE REMAINS INTO
A BIN AND GETS OUT ANOTHER BOWL,
GRABS A SPOON AND GOES BACK TO
THE DINNING ROOM WHERE THE GIRL
IS NOW GONE AND POURS HIMSELF
BREAKFAST

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-56-
SCENE 31

ALL WALK IN LOOKING TIRED AND MIKE

AND FINA ARE WEARING THE SAME
CLOTHES AS YESTERDAY BUT MUCH
SCRUFFIER. THEY ALL DROP ONTO THE
SOFA AND SIGH FROM EXHAUSTION

FINA:
Well it’s in, done and dusted, finished, complete,
other words that mean finished…

TOM:
Yeah, we get it

SUZY:
Are you two wearing the same clothes as you were
yesterday?

MIKE:
Yea, I feel asleep in my cloths and was too tired to
find new ones

TOM:
How is it he has a girlfriend?

SUZY:
Magic, that or drugs, and lots and lots of alcohol

FINA:
I fell asleep on top of my work as soon as I was
finished I had to print off another copy because the
one I proof read had a hole in it where I had
drooled through it

-57-
MIKE:
Very sexy

FINA:
Damn right

TOM:
Eugh! I might as well be hung-over considering
how I feel.

SUZY:
Because you two are such heavy-weights.

MIKE:
Oh yeah.

FINA:
You seem to be forgetting that me and Suzy
bought the

AIR QUOTES

“Alcohol” for Suzy’s new year party, you two were

totally trashed

TOM:
We were so not!

SUZY:
Do you remember ANY of that party?

MIKE:
Yeah, we were all exchanging witticisms whilst
making new acquaintances

-58-
CUT TO: BALL ROOM

-59-
SCENE 32

CLASSICAL MUSIC IS IN THE

BACKGROUND, TOM AND MIKE ARE IN
TUXEDOS SURROUNDED BY A LARGE
GROUP OF FORMALLY DRESSED
PEOPLE, MIKE IS HOLDING A GLASS OF
CHAMPAGNE.

MIKE:
And he thought that the 1787 Chateau Lafite was a
Bordeaux!

THEY ALL LAUGH

CUT TO:SOFA SHOP

-60-
SCENE 33

SUZY FINA AND TOM ALL STARE AT HIM

FINA:
When has that EVER happened?

MIKE:
It could.

TOM:
You had one chance to cover for us and that’s the
best you could do!? Go on then, how bad were
we?

SUZY:
It was quite comical really

CUT TO: SUZY’S HOUSE

-61-
SCENE 34

TOM AND MIKE ARE SUPPORTING EACH

OTHER AND ROCKING SIDEWAYS, MIKE
HAS GOT A STICKER STUCK TO HIS
FACE

TOM:
Suzy, thanks for the party, was brilliant!

MIKE:
Yea great, great like Tom’s girth!

TOM PUSHES MIKE SLIGHTLY AND HE

FALLS STRIGHT OVER, TRIES TO GET
UP, FALLS OVER AGAIN, THEN
MANAGES TO GET UP

But yeah, like thanks totally and all but it’s getting
late so we should head off

SUZY:
Firstly, its 11am, you stayed the night remember?
Secondly,

CAMERA PULLS OUT AND PANS

SLIGHTLY TO THE RIGHT SHOWING
SUZY IS LYING DOWN ON A SOFA NEXT
TO THEM BUT BEHIND THEM, FINA IS
ON THE FLOOR SLEEPING IN A VERY
UNATTRACTIVE WAY.

That’s a photo of me

CUT TO: PHOTO OF SUZY ON A WALL

THEN BACK TO MIKE AND TOM

MIKE:
Sorry photo Suzy

-62-
TOM:
Yeah, sorry

TOM AND MIKE TURN ROUND TO FACE

SUZY

Thanks for the party

MIKE:
It was brilliant!

CUT TO: SOFA SHOP

-63-
SCENE 35

SUZY:
You two are the height of cool you know

MIKE AND TOM GO TO HIGH 5

EACHOTHER

Don’t high five

THEY BOTH FREEZE THEN LOOK DOWN

DISAPPOINTED

Do you remember how much you had to drink?

MIKE:
About a bottle of vodka each wasn’t it?

TOM:
Yea, and a couple of bears on top, oh and that
wkd, so yea quite alot

FINA:
Really?

MIKE:
Yea….

SUZY:
I was hosting the party, I know how much alcohol
we bought

MIKE:
LOOKS AT TOM

Fine, a glass of cider each.

-64-
SUZY:
Each?

TOM:
Between us then, happy?

SUZY:
very

FINA:
You guys still up for tomorrow?

MIKE:
Always

SUZY:
So, what you got planned?

TOM:
Oh you’ll see…..

CUT TO: BENCH AT CABOT TOWER

-65-
SCENE 36

TOM, MIKE, SUZY AND FINA ARE

SITTING ON A BENCH LOOKING OBER
THE BIG HILL CHATTING

MIKE:
I was talking to tom about this, I’m so bored of the
idea that wearing a hoodie makes you evil

FINA:
It does

MIKE:
And without it you can’t do anything against the
law

SUZY:
Physical impossibility

TOM:
Almost as though it was illegal

MIKE:
So the logical assumption is you must have
“youths”, because we all know how bright the
majority of the population is, going, Tom mind
helping

TOM AND MIKE STAND UP

SUZY:
Ooooh, I didn’t realise your rants came in play
form

-66-
MIKE:
We had those customer evaluation forms and its
what people unanimously requested

FINA:
I requested more puppies

MIKE:
Aaanyway,

STROLLS SLOWLY TOWARDS TOM IN A

RIDICULOUSLY MELODRAMATIC WAY,
THEN STOPS INFRONT OF TOM,
CORRECTS CROTCH THEN SAYS IN A
BAD ACCENT

Yo shop keep dude man mate like innit bled proper

like sick mate

TOM:
Yeah?

MIKE:
PULLS OUT SPORK

Give me all your money

TOM:
LOOKS HIM UP AND DOWN

But that, you…

MIKE:
PATS HIMSELF DOWN

Ahhh fiddles, I forgot my hoodie, damn it! This is

so embarrassing, first time you see, oh I’m so

-67-
sorry, do you mind if I quickly pop home and grab
it?

TOM:
No problem mate, want me to get the money ready
whilst you’re gone?

MIKE:
Would you mind? Thanks a lot, I’m really sorry
about this

TOM:
Don’t worry about it, everyone messes up their first
time.

MIKE:
How long do we go until we are completely sure
we’ve killed this joke?

TOM:
I’m pretty sure we crossed that line along time ago

MIKE:
And with that, the end

FINA AND SUZY CLAP AND TOM AND

MIKE BOW, BLOW KISSES, AND SIT
DOWN.

FINA:
What drugs are you two on?

TOM:
Oh, all of them

-68-
MIKE:
Definitely. That and all the sex.

TOM:
Oh all the time, I’m having sex right now

MIKE:
I’m currently in a threesome and it’s unprotected,
such a lightweight Tom.

TOM:
Ahh, but I’m videoing myself on my camera phone
that I of course stole so I can put it on youtube

MIKE:
Touché

FINA:
Are you two quite finished?

TOM:
Mike is because he has no stamina.

MIKE:
I blame the junk food.

TOM:
Ruining today’s youth

SUZY:
It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it?

TOM:
Oh yes

-69-
MIKE:
You ready tom?

TOM:
Bring it

FADE OUT.CUT TO:

-70-
SCENE 37

CLOSE UP OF SOMEONE PUTTING ON

BIKE GLOVE

FADE OUT.CUT TO:

CLOSE UP OF SOMEONE PUTTING ON

OTHER GLOVE

FADE OUT.CUT TO:

CLOSE UP OF SOMEONE DOING CLASP

OF HELMET UP UNDER CHIN, HAS A
COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS THEN TAKES
OFF A GLOVE AND MANAGES IT

FADE OUT.CUT TO:

CLOSE UP OF HAND TIGHTNING GRIP

ON A PINK HANDLE BAR GRIP

FADE OUT.CUT TO:

FINA AND SUZY ADMIRING MIKE AND

TOM ON KIDDIE BARBIE BIKES FULLY
GEARD UP ONTOP OF A BIG GRASSY
HILL

SUZY:
I love you guys, I really do

FINA:
Every week you just have to raise the bar on each
other don’t you

TOM:
Yep

MIKE:
What else would we do?

-71-
TOM:
You ready?

MIKE:
Bring it biatch

SUZY AND FINA RUN TO THE EDGE OF

THE HILL TO GET A GOOD VIEW, MIKE
AND TOM GET ON THE BIKES AND
CYCLE AS FAST AS THEY CAN, JUST
BEFORE THE BIKES GO OVER THE
EDGE IT CUTS TO THE CREDITS WITH
STILLS OF THE SHOW, SOME REAL
OTHERS BEING MADE UP (SUCH AS
SUZY FIGHTING A GIANT SQUID) THEN
IT CUTS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL
RIGHT BEFORE THEY REACH THE EDGE
AND TOM AND MIKE GO DOWN THE HILL
AND PAST THE CAMERA

END OF EPISODE

-72-
[THERE ARE NO JOKES PRINTED ON THIS PAGE]

-73-