What you really need in a partner.

I believe strongly that when the Spirit of the Lord moved on the face of the earth in
Genesis 1: 2, the essence is to set an order in which the earth and everything in it will
be preserved. The Spirit of the Lord set in place orders that man later discovered and
gave names too.

The laws of gravity, motion, aerodynamic, etc, where the laws I believe was put in
place before creation began; the reason is that without this laws the earth will not be
habitable to man- without the law of gravity everything will flout in the air. Another
reason is that without this laws man will not be able to fully express his creative
potential- without the law of aerodynamic the plane will not fly.

Before these laws was discovered by the men who gave names to them, men who
walk in the consciousness of them were preserved by them. Jesus was told by the
devil to jump down from the pinnacle of the temple, by quoting the Scriptures that
assured him that the angels of God would keep him from harm. Though the law of
gravity had not been discovered since Isaac Newton had not being born, he knew
that to jump down would be suicidal.

Though the Ten Commandments had not been given in the era of Job, yet he refused
to get involve sexually with another man’s wife, cheat, nor do evil to others. For
obeying an unwritten law, he became the greatest in his time.

For the purpose of this topic, there is a law written in Economics that will help us to
understand man even more. The law says, “Human wants are insatiable, but his
needs can be met per time”, the truth is that we all pursue our needs. We pursue
our needs for food, shelter, clothing, sex, etc, to satisfy ourselves with them. I believe
that there are four basic needs of man, this are essential for his survival, and are part
of the things that preserved him in the Garden of Eden…

1. Love- Gary Chapman said, “Psychologist have concluded that the need
to feel love is a primary human need. For love we will climb
mountains, cross seas, transverse desert sands”; the greatest need
they say is not even God. We all crave for someone to love, and whom we will
love in return. There are many foolish things that people have done all in the
name of love.

God knew that this need is basic to human survival that was why the first
thing he revealed to man was that he loved him. Someone said, “You can
give without loving, but you cannot love without giving”, God’s proof of
His love man was that He gave him a house (The Garden), a job, food and a
human companion. After man rebelled against Him by eating of the fruit he
was forbidden to eat off, God still showed to man that He loves him. He
caused the sun to rise both on the good and on the wicked; Jesus was the
prove of God’s love to fallen. He love humanity so much that He gave His son
to them that if they believe in him, they will be saved.

2. God- The need for God is another basic need of man. This need is greatly
expressed when people are in a hopeless situation; many seek God intensely
at this period of their lives. The truth is that man needs God, not because of
the hopeless situation he finds himself but because man cannot do without
God.
 3. Relationship- Pastor Eric Obigho said, “Man was not first created for
responsibility but for relationship”; there is no self made man, we are all
a product of relationship. God knows that you cannot get to where you desire
alone.

Joseph made it to the place of Pharaoh king of Egypt through

relationship- the Butler.

Moses was able to get through to the people of Israel through

relationship- Aaron.

Jesus was able to get the message of salvation to the world through
relationship- his 12 disciples

4. Work- There is nothing more frustrating and can open people up to all
manner of evil vices like not having a job to do. An English adage says, “An
idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”

Rex Maughan said, “One of the greatest sources of illness in the world
is an empty wallet. If you want to decrease the number of stomach
problems or negative effect of depression then give a person the
chance to earn a living- this is a powerful remedy.”

From this basic needs of man, other needs for shelter, food, clothing, etc, can be met.
Due to the focus of this topic, the third basic need of man will be our focus.

Man’s need for relationship extent beyond that of a platonic relationship; there is a
time in a person’s life that he/she seeks for intimacy in a relationship that will lead to
marriage. This is the reason that the question, what do I really need in a partner
should be answered. Here are some of the things you feel you need and what you
really need in a relationship…

 You need a ‘god’ to get married to- Unconsciously every single is on the
look out for a god to get married to- a perfect person.

A man
1. He wants a woman who will not nag at him.
2. He wants a woman who will understand him (Without him letting her know the
reasons for the action he wants to take.) without questioning his authority.
3. He wants a woman who will not complain that he is not helping out in the
housework, nor taking care of the children (Since to him it is the woman’s job).
4. He wants a woman who will have sex with him, whenever he is the mood.

A woman
1. She wants to get married to the kind of man she watches in films, reads in
novels and magazines.
2. She wants a man that will always pay attention to her and her needs.

The truth is that no man/woman can give you all that you want from them in a
relationship, it will become frustrating for that person. The man and the
woman have their uniqueness, and what you read and watch about what
people call marriage are not obtainable in a real world.
 What you really need- Is a disciple of Jesus Christ i.e. a person who desires
to be like his Master. If you find a person with this characteristic, he/she will be
willing to adjust to changes, so that the relationship will be a lasting one.

 You need security-

Women- Single ladies often crave for a man with a well paid job, an
apartment, a car, etc. to many single women; this is an ideal man for
marriage.

Men- Some single men are a leach, what they need in a relationship is a
woman who can meet certain needs in their lives.

What you really need- Is a partner that has a strong sense of purpose and
is willing to pursue it. A man/woman with a good job can lose it, but a person
cannot lose his/her purpose; every individual was created with God’s plan to
preserve him/her and that is his/her purpose. Bad times may come in an
individual’s life, but purpose will preserve and ensure the restoration of better
things than that, which was lost.

 A good looking partner- Singles want to get married to partners that they
can be proud off, especially because of the person’s physical look. So to them,
some people are simply to ugly to be introduced as their partner to their
friends. A young man wants a pretty well shaped lady, while a lady wants a
man that is handsome and masculine.

What you really need- Is a partner with character; like the Nigerian adage
says, “Your character is what determines your beauty.” My question to
you is that, what is the essence of getting married to a good looking
man/woman who will not stay faithful to his/her marriage vow.

 You need a partner that is in your standard- A graduate wants to get

married to a graduate as a partner; consciously/unconsciously a single with
the standard mentally, lookout for singles of the opposite sex who he/she
believes is in his/her class.

Who you really need- Is someone who is willing to grow, i.e. someone who
is willing to improve on his/herself. Someone said, “Never marry a lady that
is satisfied with where she is”, it also goes for the woman, never marry a
man that is satisfied with where he is.

 You need someone from a good family background- An adage says, “If
your father is poor, it is your destiny. If your father in-law is poor, it is
your fault”; this is one of the many saying that make people make decisions
that will be detrimental to their future.

Some singles now watch out for the family background of the person they are
interested in, before making a proposal/giving their consent to a proposal. This
is one reason that the rich marry from their social setting, and it explains why
their marriages usually do not last.

What you really need- Is a person that is connected to God; anyone

connected to God is not poor nor have a demeaning background. God is
his/her father, and He will make something beautiful out of that life.