DefiningSomethingSpecial Obooko Rom0117

Defining Something Special
Lyn Bradley
Jordan Jordan-McKeon Trilogy Part 1

Lyn Bradley
Free Edition from www.obooko.com
Copyright 2008 Lyn Bradley Published by the author. Distributed worldwide by obooko This edition is available free of charge exclusively to obooko members for evaluation purposes: it may be amended and updated at any time by the author so please visit www.obooko.com to ensure you have the latest edition. Although free of charge, this work remains protected by Copyright and must not be sold in digital or printed form. For more free e-books and to list your fiction or non-fiction book for free publication, please visit www.obooko.com This is a work of fiction. The events and characters described herein are imaginary and are not intended to refer to specific places or living persons. The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher.
For Mark, my rock and support in all things.
CHAPTER 1 Ben was quickly coming to the conclusion that he was lost. It seemed as if he had been driving for days all though it was, in reality, six hours. The late May day was descending into night. His past experience of driving in England had been to drive from London to the South Coast on a Sunday afternoon. He thought that he would never get used to driving on English roads. It seemed like a week since he landed at Heathrow Airport, the first stop in his quest to find her. He collected his luggage, went through security and strode through the airport looking for somewhere to hire a car. He looked along the line of desks as he approached and saw the familiar logo of Alamo. Smiling at the young woman behind the desk, he put his suitcase and briefcase on the floor. "Good morning, Sir!" She said brightly. "How may I help?" "I'd like a medium sized, automatic, please." Ben said, returning her smile. "Of course! Petrol or Diesel?" "Er. Petrol, I think?" "Sorry." She smiled again. "I assumed you would know. Petrol will be easier for you. How long for?" "I don't know. It could be three days or it could be three months! I really haven't thought that far ahead." "Are you staying in London?" "No, ma'am. I'm going a bit north of Newcastle." "I see." She suspected the involvement of a woman. "Have you driven on English roads before?" "Yes, I come over a couple of times a year." "How will you be paying?" "I've got an account in San Francisco." Ben proceeded to give his name, address, company and reference number to the woman. She typed the information into the computer in front of her.
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"Can I see some I.D. please?" Ben gave her his drivers licence and credit card. "Thank you, Mr Jordan. Would you like a map and some directions?" "Just directions north, please." Directions given, Ben was shown to the black BMW in the car park. Having been told he could return the car to any depot, he climbed into the drivers seat and did the necessary adjustments. He turned out of the car park and proceeded through the airport exit onto the busy M25 London Orbital. He followed the signs and directions and joined the M1 North bound. After three hours, he pulled into a service area for a, much needed, cup of coffee and some lunch. He guessed he was about half way. He knew he had to cut across to the A1 near Leeds, which he did with surprising ease. His journey continued north passed Newcastle and on towards Alnwick. He turned off the main road into a small village, hoping for further directions. When he found the post office and general dealer store, his instincts told him he would find help. He pulled the car to the side of the road and stopped. He got out and walked round the car to stretch his very weary legs. Reaching into the back seat he removed the thermos flask and poured a cup of coffee. He was grateful for the hot liquid and remembered the elderly lady in the post office who had filled the flask, sold him sandwiches and given him directions. The map was no help to him. All of the little twisting roads looked alike. He felt hopeless. She had given him clear directions, even writing them down. Ben had left the post office over an hour ago. The signpost for Alnwick he had found. The signpost for Coldstream he had found. Mill Bank escaped him. He opened the map and spread it over the front of the car. The only villages to be seen were Upper
Downham and Lower Downham, both of the names seemed contradictions in terms. The only other signpost was for Millham, which seemed to be set in the middle of a forest. "Lost!" He said out loud. "I'll never find it! I'll never get used to this country!" Driving off once more he thought that he must come up to civilisation soon. Other wise he had visions of spending the night in the car. Ben was an easy going man. Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall, his dark blond hair was kept short and neat. His green eyes shone with his unstinting zest for life. He kept his athletic body in shape by horse riding, swimming, tennis and several other sporting activities. Along with Jack, his friend of many years, he had built up a security business from small beginnings to a multi-million dollar organisation that had offices across the United States. Many of his employees were veterans from the Vietnam war, Ben had been a Commander in the Marines and had saved the life of Jack and several other men in his company. He spent a lot of time at charity functions and was known for being in the front line fundraising for children's causes. A loyal man he has had only one relationship since his divorce from wife Caroline. Ever the optimist he will give anyone at least three chances before he decides that he does not like them. Even his patient attitude was wearing thin at this particular moment. Through the trees that lined the road he saw lights. "Hallelujah!" He said. "People!" The Fox Hunt Inn stood proudly alone. He parked the car near the door and went inside. Being the end of May the pub catered mainly for the residents of the three villages nearby. Ben felt that he had just walked into a saloon in a wild west movie. Everything stopped and everyone turned to look at him as he walked to the bar counter. He was smartly dressed in dark suit and tie. He stood straight and proud.
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"Hello, what can I get you?" The man behind the bar was Sam, a muscular man, six feet tall, about forty-five with dark hair. The Northumberland accent was new to Ben "I'd be obliged for some directions, please sir." Ben said in his American accent. "Give him some quick, Sam. He sounds like he's a long way from home!" The Scots accent Ben recognised. "Airport is it, son?" The barroom erupted in laughter. "Jamie! That's enough! You used to get lost often enough when you travelled around!" Ella Porter had a high pitched voice. She was in her late forties, had grey streaks through her dark hair but had a kind face. "You'll have to excuse these peasants, they don't get much contact with strangers round here. Where was it you're headin' for?" Sam had a deep voice. "Mill Bank?" Ben was aware that people were starting their conversations again. "We don't get many tourists this time of year." The woman had a gentle tone to her voice. "I'm not a tourist." He said quickly, aware of the tiredness of his body. "I mean, I'm looking for someone, ma'am." "Oh I see! Perhaps I can help." She smiled at him and he felt a little more at ease. "My buddy was married girl who lives there. I promised I would come and find her." "Oh. Do you have a name for this girl?" She looked at him as if she knew what he would say next. "Mikie. Michaela McKeon. I guess she'll be using her former name." The woman was staring at him. "Did I say something wrong?" "Not at all. Can I ask who you are?" "My name is Ben Jordan. I'm a friend of Mikie's."
"I know. I just needed to check. Come and have a cup of coffee and Ill call the house and see if she's available." Ella introduced herself as she was pouring the coffee. She left Ben, briefly and went to use the telephone in the office. "She's home and very exited that you're here." Ella explained. "I'll give you directions." Ella wrote the directions out for Ben and sent him on his way after refusing to take any money for the coffee. Ben followed the instructions and found himself in front of a large set of gates. He pressed the intercom button and the gates opened. He was surprised at the sight that met him. The house was magnificent. An apparently square building with at least thirty windows to the front facade alone. The driveway was gravelled and came from two directions. The big, double front door was at the top of six steps. As he got out of the car the door opened. "Mr Jordan?" The man was James, the butler. He stood five feet, eleven inches and spoke with an accent that was a mixture of Northern and Queen's English. "Yes, sir." Ben answered. "Follow me, please." Ben followed the butler across the marbled entrance hall. The staircase split into two half way up. There were six doors, that Ben could see, leading off the hall. James went to the left of the stairs and took Ben into a room. "Mr Jordan to see you." "Ben! Hello! What are you doing here?" She was approximately thirty years old, dark hair and large blue eyes. She stood five feet two inches and was slim to the build. "Mikie! I thought I was never gonna find you!" He said. "Come and have a seat. I'd get up, but I can't at the moment." She smiled. It was then Ben noticed the plaster cast on her right leg.
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"What happened?" He asked, concerned. "I was holding one of the horses, while he was being shoed, he kicked me and then stood on my ankle. The surgeon did a marvellous job of rebuilding it. I was doing fine until I tripped and now I've broken the stupid thing!" Ben smiled and shook his head. "You never do things in small measures. How long will you be in the cast?" "Hopefully only until the end of the week. I've got a pin in my leg but the break is above it, so he may need to change it for a longer one." She looked at James. "Coffee, please James." James nodded and left. "So. How are you? Is Jack with you?" Ben hesitated. "There's no easy way to say this." "You've come to tell me Jack's dead?" Her voice was quiet. "I'm sorry. I wish it was better news." He put his hand onto her shoulder. "It's the only thing Jack would ask you to come and tell me. How? When?" "Cancer. Three weeks ago. I wanted to call you to come and see him, but he said not to." "We weren't exactly on the best of terms." Mikie was stunned at the confirmation that her ex-husband was dead. "Did he suffer much?" "It was pretty bad at the end. I promised that I would come and tell you." "Thank you, Ben, I really appreciate it." There were tears rolling down her cheeks. Ben squeezed her shoulder gently. "He didn't want you to cry." He said softly. "He knew I would. I loved him, Ben." She started to sob and he held her. "I'm sorry. I can't believe he's gone." "I should have called you." "No. You were right not to. This way I can remember him
the way he was." "Have you eaten?" Mikie asked. "Not anything more substantial than a sandwich." "Dinner will be ready in an hour, if you can wait that long." "Thanks, I've been driving for hours, I'm really tired." Ben sounded as tired as he looked. "How did you find us?" Mikie asked. "Jack gave me vague directions. 'Get to Newcastle and continue north, you'll find it.' I bought a map and asked directions in a post office. I stumbled on you by chance." "Which airport have you come from?" "London Heathrow." "That's enough to get a Navaho pathfinder lost!" She laughed. "I guess I must have been driving for six and a half hours." "No wander you look done in." "The only thing I could see on the map, was this house. Jack didn't really give me your address. He just said Millbank." "Millbank Hall. This is the shack my family live in." She was smirking. "Some shack!" Ben said, amused. "You live here?" "Yip! I live here. It's been in the family for centuries. The first Earl of Borders built it. Came over the border from Scotland, stole the land and set up home. Legend has it that you can see his ghost walking around the woods near the lake. I'll show you round later." James brought a tray of coffee. "I've taken the liberty of ordering an extra place for dinner, miss." "Thank you, James." She had always found Ben easy to talk to. She had been attracted to him the moment she met him but was engaged to Jack. There was a time, in the midst of the storm of her marriage to Jack, that Ben had taken away her pain. Even in the first few
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months Ben had been a comfort to her. She had gone to him one evening when she and Jack had rowed, they both got very drunk and had slept together. She had thoughts of leaving Jack and turning to Ben, but had found she was pregnant and tried to make her marriage work. Sitting in the room together brought the feelings back to her, but she would keep them to herself. Ben was a good friend and she did not want to embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable. She had relied on his help with the San Francisco office over the last two years. He was a shrewd businessman and she trusted him enough to only have to call once a week for progress reports. The last visit to San Francisco was seven months ago and Ben had taken her to dinner. She was so pleased that he was with her now. She was confused that, even though she felt sad, she was also elated that Ben was with her. Ben told her how the business was doing and asked her how long she had been in the cast. "Lets go in for dinner." Mikie said after they had chatted for almost an hour. Ben helped her up and she hopped on crutches out into the hall and into the next room. The breakfast room was rectangular, most of which was taken up by the large table and chairs. The only other piece of furniture in the room was a sideboard that occupied most of the wall to the right of the door. The man who was sitting reading some papers stood up as they entered. Earl Henry McKeon stood 5 feet 11 inches. At 60 his hair was still fairly dark brown although it was now streaked with grey. His green eyes reflected his vitality. He was a fit man who walked at least four miles a day. He played squash and tennis and had three horses. The ninth Earl of Borders he took over the business his grandfather started when his father retired. The small brewery and chain of pubs had grown to include clubs,
restaurants and hotels across the world. Apart from daughter, Michaela there are three sons Henry, Paul and David. A shrewd business man, Harry spends four days a week at his office in Newcastle. He has passed on his business sense to all of his children "Dad, this is Ben Jordan." Mikie said brightly. "Nice to meet you, Ben. Harry McKeon." Harry extended his hand and Ben shook it. "Pleasure, sir." Ben smiled. "Have a seat, Maggie will be here shortly." Countess Margaret Ellis-McKeon, a slim, fifty six year old, with light brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, had been married to Mikie's father for thirty seven years. She had collected many titles from her own father Robert the Earl of Anglesey and her mother Elizabeth. She spent most of her time campaigning for children's rights and was known internationally for her caring nature. She was very proud of her family and allowed her daughter and three sons to learn from the mistakes they made, but tried to steer them in the right direction. "Hello! You must be Ben. I'm Margaret." She had the same radiating smile as Mikie. "Mikie said you were coming, I've had one of the guest rooms made up. Did you have a good journey?" "Yes, ma'am. It was fine." Ben returned her smile. "Are you staying long?" "A few days. I have to be back before the end of next week." Ben was relaxing. "I wish I'd come for better reasons. I came to tell Mikie, Jack died." "I see. That's sad." Margaret was reflective. "Still, if he was ill and in pain." She had mixed feelings. Sadness for her daughter and grandchildren, but also a strange sense of contentment that Mikie had a friend to help with her grief. Mikie's mother turned to her. "Mikie, darling, you must speak to Tara about her homework. She forgot it again this
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morning." Her voice was light and gentle. "I will, Mum. But there are more important things to tell her and Greg." Mikie's voice was tinged with sadness. She was suddenly aware of tears welling in her eyes. "Now, now. Just remember that in his own way, Jack loved you and if he was in pain then it's best that he's out of it." Margaret reached across and put her hand on her daughter's arm. Mikie nodded in silence. After a few seconds she looked at her mother. "How d'you tell two eight year olds their Daddy's dead? They'll be devastated." "It'll be better coming from you." Margaret had a matter-offact attitude which was very comforting. "I don't know the words. I can't just blurt it out, can I?" "You'll find them, the same way you found them when Brett and Ali started asking about Jeff." Margaret looked at Ben. "I'm really grateful that you came to tell us about Jack, Ben. He didn't fit in with all the family. But I liked him and that goes a long way in this house." "I promised Jack that I would come. He was a good friend to me." Ben reflected.
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Chapter 2 Mikie explained that her two younger children had been on a field trip at school, had come home exhausted and gone to bed early. "Come on, Ben, I'll show you to your room." Mikie smiled at her friend. Back out into the hall, she went across to the right of the staircase where there was a lift. They exited the lift and turned to the left. "You're in the west wing across the hall from my room. You can see the lake from the window." "Fine." Ben followed Mikie. There were four doors on each side of the hallway. Ben's room was the last door on the right. "Here we are!" Mikie opened the door and Ben followed her inside. The sitting room was about twelve feet square with an open door leading to a bedroom. "The bathroom is through the bedroom. I think you'll have everything you need but if we've forgotten anything just say." Mikie had sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Ben sat next to her and put his arm round her shoulder. "I've put off coming for about two weeks. I was trying to figure out how to tell you." "You should know me by now, Ben. The direct approach is always best with me!" She smiled. "Do you really have to be back next week?" "Afraid so. I've got a meeting with a guy from the Whitehouse. I'm hoping to get a big contract." "Oh, I see. I guess I'll just have to make your stay a good one." "It has been so far. Apart from all that driving." "Mmm! There are easier ways to get from here to San Francisco. I'll arrange your return flight for you." "That's probably a very good idea." He smiled, yawning.
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"If you need anything, press the button on the fireplace or come across the hall and get me." She smiled. "Good night, Ben." "Thanks. Good night, Mikie." The morning dawned bright and sunny. Ben woke, stretched and went into the bathroom. After showering and dressing, he walked out into the hall. He tapped on Mikie's door, but there was no answer. Looking at his watch, he guessed she would be having breakfast. He walked down stairs and stood at the bottom, trying to get his bearings. "Good morning, sir!" James said brightly. "Breakfast is this way." Indicating for Ben to follow, he walked to Ben's right and into the breakfast room. "Good mornin'!" Harry said brightly. "Sleep well?" "Good morning. Yes sir, I did." Ben smiled, warmly. "At least you look better than you did last night!" Mikie grinned. "Come and sit down and have some breakfast." "Some coffee will be fine." Ben sat next to Mikie at the large table. "I thought I might catch the kids before they left for school." "They leave at about seven thirty. They'll be back by about four." "You really need to talk to them Mikie, darling." Margaret said, gently. "They won't be happy if you keep it from them." "I know, mum. I'll figure out how to tell them, by the time they get back, this afternoon." Harry announced it was time he did some work and left. "I hope you enjoy your stay, Ben. I have to go into town so I'll see you both later." Margaret said. "I guess I'll see you later ma'am." Ben said to Margaret. "Oh, Please. Call me Margaret." Ben smiled at her.
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"Lets go for a walk, Ben." Mikie said. Mikie took Ben out into the expanse of garden. Using her wheelchair, they strolled away from the house towards a thicket of trees. Once through the thicket Ben saw the lake. It was about three quarters of a mile across and, with no trace of wind in the air, resembled a mirror. They sat on a bench and looked across to the small cottage which stood at the other side. "That's the gamekeepers cottage. Jack used to stay there when he came to see the kids." Mikie seemed to be in a distant place. Her eyes were fixed on the cottage and her voice had a sad tone. She remembered the first time she had brought Jack to Millbank. How uncomfortable he had been in the surroundings of the big house. Mikie had brought him to stay when the twins were four months old. Her father had taken an instant dislike to Jack and avoided him for the duration of the stay. Her mother seemed the only member of the family, other than Mikie, to speak to him. After two days, Jack had said he wanted to go home. They had rowed about it and Margaret came up with the cottage as a solution. Every time Jack came to stay, he would use the cottage. "He loved you. You know that, don't you?" Ben's question brought her back to the present. "I know. I loved him too. For all the hurt he caused, all the fighting and pain. I miss him. I'll never be able to tell him that I forgive him." She was crying. Ben put his arm round her. "He knew that. He knew you weren't the sort to hold grudges." Ben let Mikie rest her head against his shoulder. She sobbed for about ten minutes. His heart was breaking. He wanted to do something to help ease her pain. He had loved her from the first day Jack had introduced her to him. He was jealous of his friend, but he knew that she was in love with Jack and said nothing to
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her. He remembered the night they had shared a bed. He was not sure that Mikie remembered it as they had both been quite drunk. Yet here, in this secluded spot, holding her gently as she cried he felt like his whole body was about to burst. "Mikie." He whispered. " I need to tell you something." She pulled away from him and looked into his face. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a long, gentle kiss that stirred something inside her that she thought she had buried a long time ago. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that!" He jumped up from the seat. "Yes you should. I know how you feel, Ben. Give me credit for knowing the signs men put out when they're in love. After Jack left you were a big help to me and I thought you would have faced up to it and told me then. I guessed that something had changed so I didn't push it." "How?" He blew out his breath. "I'm confused. You knew all this time?" "I knew." "When did you know?" "I suspected just after Jack introduced us. I knew for sure at the wedding. I heard what you said about backing out, it confused me at first then I realised why. You tried to talk me out of it too, as I remember. In hindsight I guess I lied when I said I was in love with Jack. Don't get me wrong, I did love him. But it was more an affectionate sort of love. Like you have for a sibling. I suppose I should have stopped it before it happened, but I knew it would break his heart and I couldn't do that. You were there for me. I knew it was more than friendship. The night we got drunk was something Ive treasured for a long time." Ben plunged his hands into his trouser pockets and was looking at her in astonishment. "I don't understand how I could have missed the signs. The first minute I met you I wanted to
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pick you up and carry you off to some deserted island and keep you all to myself. I know that sounds clich, it's how I feel." He shrugged. She asked him to sit down and put her arms round him. "I thought I was in love with Jack. I'm sorry, Ben. He's gone now and maybe we can help each other over the grief." She sighed. "Does that sound callous? I don't mean it to be. I suppose I've been mourning him since the divorce. I would rather be with you than anyone else right now." He bent his head and kissed her forehead. "If I can help you through this then I will. We'll take it slow and see how it goes. I have to warn you, once I set my mind to something I usually get it." "Oh, Really! I've never been described as a 'something' before." They started to laugh. They sat entwined in each others arms for about ten minutes. They had not noticed the dark clouds that had gathered above them. It started to rain heavily. "We're gonna get wet!" Mikie said. Ben had taken off his jacket and was doing his best to protect them, pushing the wheelchair, he ran up the path to the house. But, by the time they got there ten minutes later, they were dripping wet. Thankfully the French windows into the library were easy for Mikie to use and Ben followed into the room. She went across to the fire place and pressed a button. James appeared a minute later. "Will you bring some towels, James, please?" "Yes, miss, of course." After giving Ben a look of disdain, He left. "He doesn't like me very much, does he?" Ben said to Mikie. "He doesn't count, he's hired help." Mikie switched on the gas fire. James returned with the towels. "There's a message from
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Mr Green for you, miss." "I'll deal with that later." Mikie's tone was one of authority. "Coffee, please." "Yes, miss." He left the room again. Ben and Mikie towelled their wet hair. Ben felt a strange contentment within him. It was as if he had poured out a deep dark secret. There was a quiet tap on the door. "Come in." Mikie said loudly. Ben was expecting James but instead there was a young woman, aged about twenty. A pretty girl, wearing a grey dress and a small white apron. "Thank you, Jenny." Mikie said as the girl left. She poured the coffee and smiled at him. "You'll get used to it. There are forty maids, two nannies, the housekeeper, a dozen cooks, twenty gardeners, a chauffeur and James." She smiled at Ben's puzzled expression. "You can meet the rest of the family at the weekend. Its Hen's birthday and everyone is coming for the party." Ben was aware of the three brothers Mikie had. Jack had told him about them during the long hours Ben had sat with him in the hospital room. "That sounds good. I like parties." "If you need to go anywhere, you can use one of the cars from here. I'll get your car taken back to the local depot." She felt happy at his agreement. "Figures. I would expect that you would have a fleet of cars sitting doing nothing all day." He was mocking her. "Don't be sarcastic! I could always take you out into the countryside and leave you to fend for yourself!" "You would too! Wouldn't you?" He pulled her up from the wheelchair and sat her on his lap. "Would you come and find me, though? After about an hour or so. Or would you leave me
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to languish lost and cold in the dark?" "I'd leave you to languish." She kissed his nose. "But I'd watch to make sure you were okay!" "You're a monster! So sweet and innocent on the outside and a wicked monster underneath!" "I love you, Ben and I'm so glad you're here!" Her tone was serious. "I would have told you when Jack left but you were involved with Christina and I didn't want to spoil things for you." "That lasted a week longer than Jack and Angel did! If I'd known you felt the same about me I would never have let you marry Jack. He was a selfish, egotistical moron who didn't know when he had something good!" "There you go again. Calling me a 'something'." She laughed. "The trouble with me and Jack is that he loved me much more that I could ever love him. That's where we went wrong. I should never have let it get to the wedding but I felt like I couldn't back out." Somewhere in the house a clock struck twelve. "Are you hungry?" "Yeah, a bit." Ben was suddenly aware of being ravenously hungry. "Follow me. We'd better find some dry clothes." She got up and Ben followed her out of the room and up the big staircase. Ben was waiting at the foot of the stairs when she returned. She took Ben into the breakfast room. The sideboard was spread with plates laden with sandwiches, pastries and cakes. There was coffee and tea, orange juice and milk. "Hello, you two. Did you enjoy your walk?" Margaret said brightly. "Yes, ma'am. Until we got caught in the rain." Ben answered. Harry strode through the door. "How are you finding our country Ben?" "Its very nice, so far, sir." Ben relaxed a little.
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"Do you fish? There's trout in the lake." "It's not one of my pastimes, no." Ben was smiling at Harry. "No, I cannae see the point of sitting for hours, holding a stick wi' a piece of string on it either!" Harry chuckled. "Mikie, I hope you haven't forgotten about tonight." "I remembered. How could I forget?" Mikie turned to Ben. "I promised to help out at the church fund-raiser, Ben. You can come along if you like." The rest of the half hour spent over lunch was taken up by general chit-chat. Ben was talking to Margaret, Mikie to Harry. Harry was a shrewd business man, who had passed on his skills to all of his children and they were all now very well off in their own right. He had a great deal of respect and admiration for his daughter and encouraged her whenever he could. Margaret found she liked Ben. He was much more down to earth than Jack had been. "How is your business doing, Ben?" "I'm hoping eventually to open an office out here. The big stumbling block is the British Government, they're not always friendly when it comes to non European companies." "Have a word with Harry, he's got a few friends in the House of Lords, I'm sure he'll be able to put you in touch with the right people." After lunch Mikie took Ben up to her room. They sat on the sofa and chatted. After a while Ben was aware, by her slow, steady breathing that Mikie had fallen asleep. He lay her gently onto the sofa and stood up. He was standing at the window when she woke. "Hey there." He said softly. "You okay?" "Mmm. Fine. I'm sorry I fell asleep. You weren't saying anything important were you?" she sat up and stretched. "We weren't talking at all." He said walking towards her. She looked up at the wall-clock which said three fifty-five. "Hell's teeth, Ben! Look at the time. Tara and Greg will be home
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any minute!" "They already are. They're having tea." His face was radiating the warmth he felt inside. "You've spoken to them?" She asked, anxiously. "Yeah. About five minutes ago. Tara's growing into quite a lady. How is Greg?" "He's fine. Did they ask about Jack?" Her tone was expectant. "No." "I'd better go and see them." "D'you want me to come?" "I think I'd better do this myself. I'm not looking forward to it." Mikie's voice was tinged with sadness. "If you need me, I'm here." Ben kissed her cheek as he helped her back into her wheelchair. Mikie found her daughter and son in the breakfast room. "Hi, Mom!" Tara said brightly. "I've seen Uncle Ben. Is Daddy coming too?" Tamara Elizabeth McKeon- Stanmore was a pretty eight year old with long blond hair, green eyes and a smile that lit the room. She had a strange accent that was a mixture of Queen's and American English. A bright, intelligent child who annoys her mother by running everywhere. She can wrap most adults round her fingers, but will put conditions on her love and will sulk for hours if she cannot have her own way. Her whole world revolves around her family, especially Greg whom she is very protective of. In her innocence she would prefer to stay eight years old forever. "No, sweetheart, he isn't." Mikie took a deep breath. "I have to tell you something about Daddy." "If you mean that he's gone to heaven to be an angel, I know." Mikie was astonished by what her daughter said. "How?"
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"I had a dream last night. Daddy told me he was an angel and when I found out Uncle Ben was here without him I knew it was true." Tara's tone was matter of fact. "It's okay, we're fine!" "Oh, Tara! He was very ill and the doctors couldn't make him better." Mikie was trying desperately to hold back the tears. "Mommy, don't. If you cry then I will and I don't want to do that. Daddy didn't want me to cry he wanted me to be brave and I'll be able to if you are." Mikie looked at the little girl staring at her with her big green eyes. She was so proud of her. "That means we'll never see him again, doesn't it?" Greg looked at his mother. "It does, sweetheart, but it'll be okay. You still have me." Gregory Matthew McKeon-Stanmore, twin brother to Tara, with his dark hair and blue eyes bore no striking resemblance. He coped well with the effects of Downs Syndrome, which his mother was thankful was relatively mild. He attended a mainstream school and needed little extra tuition, he was only one year behind his sister. A quiet boy he often sat thinking for hours. Although he gave unconditional love and trust he was easily irritated with Tara when she protected him, seeing his sisters love as pity. Even at eight, Greg knows the possibility of him growing to adulthood may not happen. He has strong views on what he wants and has written instructions in a book and given it to Brett to look after for him. He confides in Brett and Ali rather than worrying his mother. He is fiercely protective of Mikie and was more aware of the unhappy marriage she had to Jack than the other children seemed to be. He was relieved when his parents divorced. He knew his father did not understand or love him. "You won't go anywhere, will you Mommy?" Greg was looking at her with wide eyes. "Not for a very long time, darling." Mikie reassured her son.
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"Anyway, we're kinda used to it." Tara interrupted. "I mean, when we came here to live after Daddy left, that was like getting used to not having him around. It doesn't mean we don't love him anymore, we do and I know he loves us and he'll be watching over us 'cause that's what angels do!" Tara was hugging her mother. "He'll be very proud of you." Mikie's word seemed totally inadequate in reply to her daughter. "Let's go find Uncle Ben." Tara said. Ben was looking out of the window when Mikie and the two children went into the room. They had a tray with ice-cream. "We wanted to know if you would like some ice-cream." Greg said as Ben turned to them. "Well that would be great, but only if you're having some too." Ben smiled at the grinning boy. Ben sat on the floor with Greg and Tara, Mikie sat on the sofa and listened to the three of them chattering away, while they ate the glasses of ice-cream.
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CHAPTER 3 It was about eight-thirty when Mikie sang at Saint Andrews Church fund-raising event. Ben was surprised, her voice was beautiful. There was thunderous applause from the two hundred or so audience. The nervous looking vicar stood in front of the microphone. "Thank you! Thank you all!" He shouted. "It is my utmost pleasure to say a big thank you to everyone who has made tonight possible! The news from the Committee is that we have gone passed our target. So not only can we replace the roof, we can also have the rest of the heating installed! Oh! I'm quite overcome with it all!" Roger Kersey was a small man about five feet three inches tall, portly built with greying hair. His round chubby face was adorned with a pair of round, metal rimmed spectacles. "I would especially like to thank Earl and Countess McKeon for their very generous donation and also the anonymous donator of the thousand pounds which was left in the collection basket at the entrance tonight! I am really grateful for all your generosity! Let me end by saying thank you to all our performers tonight. It really has been the most appropriate finale! By the way Mrs Weatherspoon is looking at me, I've spoken for too long. Please help yourselves to refreshments!" He stepped down off the stage to the applause. Tara and Greg had fallen asleep against Ben's side so it was impossible for him to move. Mikie came and found him about fifteen minutes after the vicar had given his speech. Harry helped Ben to put the children in the car. Ben drove them back to Millbank. During the ten minute drive home they spoke quietly. "I didn't know you could sing." Ben said. "So I've been told, although I think people just humour me!" Mikie smiled. "If your Dad is an Earl, what does that make you?"
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"Somewhere down the line we're related to the Scottish Royals. Mum keeps saying she's going to read the ancestral lineage book when she gets time, but if that happens pigs will grow wings and learn to fly!" She smiled. "I've got various titles that I've inherited or had bestowed on me. I'm a Lady, but there are some people who would disagree with that!" She had a lighthearted tone to her voice. "Oh! I see!" Ben did not see. It was all new to him. Jack had never talked to him about this. He wasn't sure that he was acting correctly. He didn't know the protocol, or if there was any. "I'm just plain old Michaela McKeon. No airs, no graces, just me!" It was as if she had read his thoughts. "Okay." Ben relaxed. "I wonder who was generous enough to put a thousand pounds into the collection box." She said, changing the subject. "That amount is usually by way of a cheque." "Maybe who ever it was didn't have their cheque book with them." Ben observed. "No one usually carries that amount of cash with them." Mikie said thoughtfully, then said. "Unless, of course, the person concerned is a visitor to our little part of the world." "They may be, you'll never know. Seeing as how it was an anonymous donation." He had no intention of admitting his generosity. "Well who ever it was I'd like to say thank you, it was very generous." She had a knowing tone. "If I ever find out who it was, I'll pass on your thanks." He stopped the car at the front door and James came to help take the children up to their rooms. They were sitting drinking tea in Mikie's room about half an hour later. "I've been meaning to ask about your back. Is it okay now?" Ben said looking across to where Mikie was sitting. "As okay as it ever will be. I still have times when it gets so
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bad I can't walk, but for the most part I can cope with it." Mikie was reflective. "I tend to have more problems with my ankle. There are times I can't put a decent pair of shoes on and have to slouch around in trainers. But I guess that will be different now too. I just can't wait to get this cast off." Mikie had found it necessary to use Jack's car one afternoon. She was driving down one of the steep streets in San Francisco when the breaks failed to work. She collided with a parked car and ended up spending ten months in the hospital. The police had found that the break cables had been cut. There was a theory that Jack had upset some big city drug dealer, but this was never proven. The matter was left open but filed away due to lack of evidence. "I remember the night that Jack called me and told me about the accident. When I got to the hospital you were hooked up to all sorts of gizmos and he was sitting there looking very scared. We took it in turns to sit by your bed. I remember being very scared too. I thought that my world would collapse if anything happened to you." Ben found it easy to tell her his memories. He let his mind drift to the long, lonely hours he had spent in the hospital. For a man who was not very religious he had prayed hard that she would pull through. "I didn't know that you sat with me. I thought that it was just Jack. I'm glad I know different." She sat beside him. "The police never did find the person who tampered with the breaks on the car. I'm only glad that the kids weren't with me. Do you hear from Caroline?" Caroline was Ben's ex-wife. "Only that she's living in Colorado. She got married again a couple of years ago. They had fertility treatment and ended up with triplets. She's happy." They talked until two forty-five on Saturday morning. Mikie stifled a yawn and blinked hard.
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"You're bound to be tired, have you seen the time?" Ben asked her "It's Saturday tomorrow today. I don't have anything special to do." She snuggled into his chest. "Bed!" He said, reluctantly. He did not want this time to end. Every inch of him wanted to stay with her. Being close to her felt special, as if this was the place he had always meant to be. "Yeah, I suppose I'd better." She stretched. Ben kissed her and left the room. He climbed into his bed and lay for a while thinking about their conversation. He was pleased that Mikie felt the same way about him but wished that he had done something about it years ago. As he closed his eyes he could see her smiling face. It was two minutes short of eleven o'clock when he opened his eyes again. The house was quiet. From somewhere outside came the faint sound of children laughing and shouting. He got up and walked over to the window pulling on the robe that he had picked from the chair next to the bed. He opened the heavy curtains and pulled on the French window. There were six children of various ages running around on the expanse of lawn. The day was bright and warm and Ben felt a strange sense of peace as he looked down on the scene. Tara caught sight of him and ran towards the house. "Hi! Uncle Ben!" she cried waving madly. "Are you coming down?" Ben waved back. "In a little while!" He turned from the window and headed into the bathroom. He was surprised to see Mikie sitting in the bedroom when he emerged from the shower. She was casually dressed in jeans and a sweater. "Good morning! Did you sleep okay?" He bent to kiss her. She smelled like roses on a summers day. "Yep! D'you want breakfast or lunch?"
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"Lunch will be fine." He was looking through the wardrobe trying to find something suitable to wear. Mikie approved of his choice of jeans and pale blue checked shirt. "I brought you some coffee. I'll pour it out." She went into the sitting room. Ben followed her a couple of minutes later. "The kids are boisterous this morning." He said as he walked to where she was standing at the French window. "Did they wake you? I asked them to keep the noise down." "Na! It was time I woke up anyway. Do we have any plans for today?" "What am I? Your social secretary." Mikie was teasing him. "We can do whatever you want as long as we're back by seven." "Seven?" He was puzzled. "Henry's birthday. I told you. They'll all be here. We only have to stay an hour then we can escape, if you like." "We'll see. I kinda like birthday parties. Probably 'cause I didn't have any when I was a kid." "Oh! You poor deprived soul!" She said, sarcastically. "Sarcasm this time in the morning, I can't cope with!" Ben pulled her to him and held her. "I need a hug to make up for it!" "Uncle Ben! Uncle Ben!" Tara was standing below the balcony when Ben and Mikie went to the window. "Are you coming down yet?" "Tara, Ben has just woken up. Give him a chance!" "It's okay, Mik." Ben said, then turned back to the little girl. "I'll be there in a minute!" They backed away from the window. "They want to show me something. How can I refuse them?" "I could get jealous! I don't like having to compete for your affections." She said lightly. "You'll never have to do that. No one could take me from you that easily. I'm afraid you're stuck with me, like it or not." Ben was talking into her hair as he spoke. He was hoping she
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liked the idea. "Mmm I think I like it, but I'm not sure." She laughed. "Tara will come looking for you, if you don't go down stairs." "Yep! I'd better go find out what she wants, hu?" Mikie sat at the window and looked across the expanse of lawn. She felt comfortable and safe, for the first time in years. Her regret was that she had not spoken to Ben about her feelings earlier, but she was happy that he shared them. When Ben found Tara she was sitting on the steps of the conservatory talking to Greg. She jumped to her feet and ran to him. "Come and see! Come and see!" She took hold of his hand and pulled him after her. She was trying to run but Ben was holding her back. "Hold on! What's the hurry? Where're we going?" "To the stables!" She was breathless with excitement. Greg was pulling at his other arm, just as eager as his sister. "Okay! Okay! I'm coming, only slow down!" The pace relaxed and the three walked towards the stable block. It was a long building with at least twenty stalls. Once inside Tara took Ben and Greg to a stall at the far end of the building. She opened the door gently. "Look." she whispered. "Aren't they beautiful?" Ben's eyes fell upon the Labrador and her litter of six puppies. "They sure are." He whispered back. "Are they yours?" "Gran'ma said we can have one for when we come and visit. I think I'd like the little one there." "I think you've made a good choice, sweetheart." Ben was kneeling in the straw next to where Tara and Greg were standing. The little girl turned to look at him. "Are you and Mummy an item?" "Would it bother you if we are?" Ben was surprised by the
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question. "It would be okay 'cause my Daddy liked you." Tara said, innocently. "I think, maybe, you should ask your Mom." Ben was sure of his own feelings, Mikie was something different. He was hoping he was reading the signs correctly. That she felt the same way. He was not contemplating what would happen if he was wrong. "I like you too, Ben. I like you a lot." Tara put her arms round his neck and kissed his nose. "Mummy likes you a lot too. Trust me. A woman knows these things." "I'll not disagree with you on that score." He remembered Mikie telling him that she had known for a long time that he loved her. Even though Tara was not very sure of what Ben meant, she knew that he liked her mother a great deal and she felt safe. She realised that she would have someone in her life who could chase away her bad dreams and keep her from harm. In her childhood innocence she loved Ben like she loved her father and she felt sure that Ben could take her father's place. "So if you and Mum are an item does that mean that you're gonna be our new Daddy?" Greg was very direct because he did not know any other way to be. "Whoa! Hold it there, sport. That one you'll have to ask your mother about!" Ben smiled at Greg's innocent look. The three of them walked slowly back to the house chatting about all sorts of things. They were still chattering when Mikie emerged from the conservatory. By the look on her face there was trouble. She had spent the last twenty minutes looking for her two young children. Most of the staff had also been looking. "There you are! Don't tell anyone where you're going! How many times do I have to tell you?" Mikie's voice was tinged with
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concern and anger. "I think, maybe, I'm partly to blame for this, Mikie." Ben was trying to protect the children from their mother's obvious disapproval. Tara spoke quickly. "No. It's okay, Ben. She's right I should know better. Thanks for trying to take the blame." The little girl hung her head. "I'm sorry, Mom, I forgot. We only went to the stables and Ben was with us." Her little hand shot into the air to stop her mother from speaking. "I know that's not an excuse! I won't to do it again." "You have to tell me where you are." Mikie patted her daughters head. "I'm sorry, too, Mom. Tara said it would be okay." Greg looked at Mikie as if he was about to cry he did not like it when their mother was angry. "Its all right, this time." Mikie's voice softened. "Nanny's got some lunch and ice-cream in the playroom." "Thanks, Mom!" Both children shouted, then ran off in the direction of the kitchen. "I'm sorry. I guess I should know better. I didn't think of the problem." Ben smiled at Mikie. "It's not your fault, they know not to do that. This is a big estate and I worry that they'll get too close to the lake." She shivered with a thought of a past experience. "I suppose I've got a lot to learn. Seeing that I've apologised, do I get ice-cream too?" He squatted down beside her. "You're the adult here. I'm not sure you deserve it." Mikie put her arms round his neck. "Kiss me and maybe I'll change my mind." He did as he was told. They must have been there for five minutes or more. "Mother! Please! Must you? I mean what will everyone think?" The voice came from behind Ben.
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As he turned to look, a girl was standing with her hands on her hips looking at them indignantly. Lady Alesha Margaret McKeon - Holbourne, fifteen years old, slim figured, five feet four inches tall with long dark blond hair and blue eyes. She carried herself with the deportment of a refined young lady. She has very clear ideas of what she wants from life and has been known to be overly dramatic to achieve her goal. She has an infectious laugh and an acid tongue. When she is angry everyone knows it. She is easily bored with situations and people and is often scolded by her mother for walking out of parties held by her grandfather. "Do you remember Ali, Ben?" Mikie's voice was filled with pride. "It's very nice to see you, Alesha." Ben smiled. "Mutual!" Ali extended her hand to Ben who took it and was surprised at the strength of the ensuing hand shake. "Brat is in the library sulking over his chemistry exam result." "Call your brother by his correct name, please Ali" Mikie scolded. "Oh, Sorry! Did I slip up again? Oh! I'm mortified. How will I ever be able to hold my head up in public again.?" Ben was trying desperately not to laugh. Mikie dug her fingers into his back. "Thank you for the Oscar winning performance! Was there something you urgently required?" "No, its just such a lovely day I thought that I would go for a stroll round the rose-garden. I'll see you later. Ta-ta!" Ali strode off down the path that ran along the length of the lawn. Ben started to laugh. "She's always that dramatic! I'd better go and find Brat, I mean Brett." Mikie said. The amusement in her voice was obvious. They went to the library.
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"Brett, say hello to Ben." Mikie said to the young man. "Mmm? Oh! Hi!" Lord Brett Jeffery McKeon- Holbourne was taller than his twin sister and, like the younger children, bore no striking resemblance. He was dark where his sister was blond. His voice was raspy as if it were on the point of breaking. His placid, gentle nature has earned him many friends although when he loses his temper it is on a monumental scale. A typical teenage boy he spends most of his time playing sports. He is fascinated with law and decided when he was ten that he wants to be a lawyer when he leaves school. He was lying on the floor looking through a large book. "Brett! Manners please!" Mikie said irritated by her son's manner. Brett gave a deep, impatient sigh. "I'm sorry." He jumped to his feet in one, swift easy move and extended his hand to Ben. "Forgive me. I really am pleased to see you, Ben." Ben was surprised that Brett at fifteen stood all of his six feet one inch tall. "How are you Brett?" "Fine thanks! I was sorry to hear about Jack. Very sad. It must have been difficult to watch a friend suffer." Ben was amazed by the gentle tone of Brett's voice. "I'll get over it, thanks." "Mum will too, thanks to you. I'm grateful." "It's a pleasure." Ben's face beamed with the smile he gave to Brett. "I'm sure it is!" Brett returned the smile and winked. He liked Ben and had always thought that it should have been Ben that his mother had married instead of Jack. "Brett Holbourne! How dare you!" His mother was horrified. "Don't be such a stick, Mum! I know about these things!" Brett grinned at her. "Besides, you need someone to keep you warm on long winters nights."
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Mikie was looking at her son as if she was going to strangle him. "You mentioned lunch earlier. Lets go and see if there's any left, shall we?" Ben winked at Brett, took hold of Mikie's chair and took her from the room. "They're kids! Let them have some fun! You were fifteen once!" He said as soon as the door was closed. "I don't know where they get it! They're not usually like that, either of them!" Mikie was despairing. "Either of them doesn't include Tara and Greg then?" Ben said smiling at her. "Tara? Greg?'' Mikie said cautiously thinking that it could not get any worse. "What've they been saying?" "They asked if we are an item and then told me they know that you like me a lot." Ben lowered his voice. "Tara's a woman and she knows these things. Greg wanted to know if I'm gonna be their new Daddy." "I don't believe it! Where do they get their ideas from?" Mikie wanted the floor to open and swallow her. The older children she could understand to some extent, but the younger ones "I don't think you have anything to worry about, I think they're all great!" Ben smiled. They were standing in the middle of the hall. A door to the right opened. "I'm no' interrupting a lover's tiff, am I?" Harry walked towards them. "Hells teeth! I can't even rely on my father." She said, with the same light-hearted sarcasm she had used earlier. "What did I say?" Harry asked holding up his hands. "She's fine. She's been out in the sun." Ben smirked. Mikie punched his thigh. "OUCH! That hurt!" "It was meant to!" she scolded and set off in the direction of
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the breakfast room. Ben followed, rubbing his leg, with Harry. "She can put a boxer to shame wi' her punch." Harry whispered. "I'll agree." Ben said. During lunch it had started to rain so Mikie decided that she would show Ben the opulent splendour of Millbank Hall. It was a typical English country mansion. Steeped in history, with works of art and Antiques in abundance. Ben was surprised at just how big the house was. There were one hundred and twenty rooms in all, but some had been made into suites. The house was actually a 't' shape. On the first floor the west wing was kept mainly for visitors, although Mikie's room had always been there. The east wing was where the rest of the family had their rooms. The north wing housed the play room, a nursery and Tara and Greg's rooms. As well as the rooms Ben had already seen, the ground floor also had a formal lounge, a sitting room, ball room, games room, a long gallery, formal dining room, and the kitchen. At the end of the north wing was the chapel. In the basement was a large office and several storage rooms. Members of the household staff occupied the small cottages in the grounds or lived in the three nearby villages. When they reached the lounge Mikie moved into one of the four large sofas. She looked pale. "What's wrong?" Ben asked. "Nothing. It's just a twinge." She tried to hide the pain in her back. "Twinges don't make you look like you're in agony. Come on you need rest." He helped her upstairs to her room. When he had laid her on the bed he sat beside her. "Can I get you anything?" "On the shelf in the bathroom you'll find a blue box. If you
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could bring that I'd be grateful." She sounded exhausted. Ben brought her the box and she proceeded to open it, revealing a syringe and several small phials of liquid. She broke the seal on one of the bottles and measured some into the syringe. She then gave herself an injection. Ben sat with her until she fell asleep. Then went down to the library. Alesha was sitting in one of the large armchairs talking to Brett. "I think she's happy. Isn't that all that matters? I mean, we're away at school most of the time and she's really only got Tara and Greg for company when Gran and Granddad are away." Ali was in a reflective mood. She hoped Mikie had found someone to be happy with. She knew that her mother had suffered since her father Jeff had died. "I hope she is happy. She deserves to be. She lost Jeff, now Jack. You're right she does deserve it. I'm just worried that she's rushing into it, that's all." Brett was, once again, stretched out on the floor, but the book had now been discarded. "I don't want to see her get hurt again, sis. I would rather live with her lonely than hurt." Since he was a young boy he had been aware of Mikie's devastation at losing Jeff. He had spoken to his grandfather about it on many occasions asking if there was anything that could be done. His worry had turned to concern when she married Jack and he was relieved when the marriage had ended. There had been others in the last five years but noone worthy of his mother. "Mmm. I know what you mean, Adam was a bastard and I wouldn't want her to go through anything like that again!" His sister replied. They both remembered the year earlier when their mother had been involved with Adam Carpenter. He had taken her out on several occasions and was considered quite a catch in the society circles Mikie was used to. Mikie was not impressed by Adam's obsessive behaviour and tried to break off the
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relationship. Adam had invited her to his apartment in the centre of Newcastle for a farewell dinner. He had got her fairly drunk and, when she refused his advances, had tried to rape her. Mikie had knocked him out and escaped. She turned up at her brother David's flat bruised and sobbing. David went to Adam and advised him to stay away from Mikie. It was David who had Adam arrested. Mikie refused to pursue the matter but was left very wary of men. Ali looked up as the door opened. "I'm not interrupting, am I?" Ben smiled at her. "No. It's fine come on in." Ali had the same radiating smile as her mother. "Where's Mum?" "She's asleep. Her back was hurting." Ben sounded concerned. "She'll be okay. She over does things then suffers later." Brett sat up. "So how did you find the 'Grande tour'?" He said in a mock French accent. "The house is bigger than it looks from the front. I'll just stick with the rooms I know then I won't get lost." Ben replied, honestly. "If you get lost just ring one of the bells and the servants will come and get you." Ali told him. The three sat talking for over an hour. Ben told them about himself and how he had saved Jack's life when they were in Vietnam. The children asked many questions which Ben answered. They, in turn, answered questions from Ben. Later in the evening when everyone had arrived for the birthday party, Mikie was sitting on the bottom of Ben's bed waiting for him to finish dressing. She looked amazing in the long, lilac satin, sleeveless dress, with her hair piled on top of her head. "I'll be fine, Ben really. I've got a bit of a headache but I'll be okay." She was trying to convince herself as much as Ben.
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"Any way I couldn't leave you to fend for yourself among the vultures. There'll be ninety-nine questions from all of them." "You don't sound very convincing, but I know you're determined so I guess I'll have to respect that." Ben was struggling with the bow-tie of the dinner suit he had borrowed from Brett. "Just promise me something." "What?" "That if you feel too tired you'll tell me. I don't want you sitting in agony on my account." "Of course I'll tell you." Ben turned to face her. "I love you. I hate seeing you in pain." His tone was gentle and caring. He had the thought that she was determined to suffer in silence so the family could meet him. "I know. I'll be fine. Hopping around on crutches doesn't help my back." Her smile returned his kindness. "For heavens sake let me do that bloody tie!" "I'm out of practice with these things it must be ten years since the last time I wore one. Usually I wear a ready-tied one that just clips together." Mikie deftly tied the bow. "There you go! I don't know why these things have to be formal. I'm sure Hen would prefer not to be reminded of his age." "How old is he?" "Thirty-two. He hates parties. But I think they're trying to win a new contract so a party is the best way to do that." She looked at Ben. "I think you'll do." "Oh! Right, you just 'think'. Very comforting to know!" He was teasing her and she knew it. "Come on lets go and face the crowd." She smiled. The ballroom was full of people. Approximately fifty. Some were easily recognisable as family members and others were either spouses or the people Harry was trying to impress. During
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the evening Ben was introduced to all of the family and most of the guests. He chatted happily to all of them. He found that he was accepted by nearly all of the family, although some of them were suspicious. It was about nine-fifteen when Ben noticed that Mikie was looking pale and seemed to be struggling with the pain her back was obviously giving her. He strode towards her. "How're y'doin?" He asked "Not good. I should go upstairs " She accepted his hand as she stood. "To be honest, I've been felling a bit off for the last few days." "Come on, lets get you out of here." Noticing the obvious pain their daughter was in, Harry and Margaret rushed over. "I'll be fine, Dad. I think it's a combination of my back and this leg." Mikie's pain was obvious by the tone of her voice. "You should have stayed in your room. Henry would have come up to see you." Her mother's voice was full of concern. "I know, Mum, maybe you're right. I'll be okay." Mikie gave her parents a strained smile. "I'll look after her. If she needs anything I'll let you know." Ben sounded just as concerned as her parents. He took her to her room and lay on the bed next to her. "I shouldn't have let you go downstairs." He said trying to hide his panic. She had her head on his shoulder. "You can't wrap me up in cotton wool. It doesn't matter what I do, sometimes it hurts. To be honest, I think this is more then my back. I feel hot too. Maybe I've picked up a bug or something." "You promised that you'd tell me if it was hurting and you didn't. I should be angry, but I can't be" He kissed the top of her head. She changed from her ball gown into a nightdress and he helped her back to the bed, lay her down and gently covered her with the duvet.
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"We'll go round the lake tomorrow and I'll show you a wonderful place where we can go to be alone." She sounded far away. "Go to sleep, sweetheart." He whispered. "I'm not tired. I'm fine. I don't want to go to sleep." She was fighting. "I'll stay here, I promise. Now do as you're told and go to sleep." His voice was stern but gentle. She snuggled into his shoulder and was asleep in a couple of minutes. When Ben managed to untangle himself from her, he sat in the chair by the bed and watched her sleeping. He took off his jacket, pulled the bowtie loose and undid the top two buttons on his shirt. It was a fitful, restless sleep that had been brought on by the strong pain killing injection that she had given herself. Although his eyes were closed he did not sleep. Every time Mikie moved he looked at her. He remembered how it was when he had watched her once before. When she had been cut from the wreckage of Jack's car. He had gone to the hospital with Jack to find out if she was okay. Jack sat worried by his wife's bed for hours. Ben talked him into going home and getting some sleep, but only after promising to stay with her until he returned. The only difference now was the missing medical equipment that would have given him some indication of the amount of pain she was in. It must have been after five a.m. when he finally drifted off to sleep. He woke to the sound of a gentle tap on the door just after seven. When he opened it he came face to face with Paul, the second eldest of Mikie's brothers, who was a doctor. "How is she?" He asked quietly. "She's still asleep. She didn't have a very good night. She twisted, turned and moaned for most of it." His voice was low. "D'you want me to take a look?" Paul's question surprised
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Ben. "Yeah, sure. I need to know she's okay." Ben stepped aside and followed Paul into Mikie's bedroom. "Her temperature's sky high! How long has she been like this?" Ben was shocked. "She said last night that it was more than her back, but she was fine a couple of hours ago." "Get an ambulance! I don't like this one bit!"
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CHAPTER 4 The ambulance arrived twenty-five minutes later. The drive to the hospital in Newcastle seemed to take hours. Mikie was taken to the emergency department where doctors and nurses crowded around her. Ben could do nothing but wait. Paul had travelled in the ambulance with them and after half an hour he came to see Ben. "We think that she may have some sort of infection. Has she been anywhere where you think she might have picked something up?" he asked concerned. Ben thought for a few seconds. "I don't know, Paul. I really don't know! She said she's been feeling off for a few days." He was looking into Paul's face trying to find answers to the thousand questions that filled his head. "She's gonna be okay, isn't she?" "I can't answer that yet. We're waiting for Professor Jones, he's a Neurologist. I'm hoping he's got some answers." "She gotta be okay, Paul." He said frantically. "I almost lost her once before and I'm darned if I'm gonna lose her now!" He had his hands on Paul's shoulders. "She's my sister. I'm not gonna let anything happen to her." Paul turned and walked quickly in the direction of the room. Ben was sitting, with his head in his hands, thinking about how ill she had looked against the white sheet of the ambulance stretcher. There was a knot in the pit of his stomach that seemed to be getting bigger. He loved her more than anything in the world, more than his own life and had done since the day he met her. He was fiercely jealous of Jack and had tried his best to talk his friend out of marrying Mikie. The only other woman he had loved was Abigail Prentice, his High School sweetheart. He had left her when he was nineteen to go off to fight in Vietnam. When he returned he could not
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trace where she was. He married Caroline when he was twenty six, but the marriage only lasted three years. He drifted from relationship to relationship, trying to find the same feelings he had for Abby. It was only when he was introduced to Mikie that he found a similar spark. When Harry and Margaret found him, Margaret put her arm round his shoulder, they had spoken briefly to Paul. "It'll be all right, Ben. They have the best people here." Harry said, hoping he had hid his concern. "Don't worry she'll pull though. She's a fighter." Margaret sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "I love her. I always have from the moment I met her. I should never have let her marry Jack. I should have told her. I can't lose her now. I can't face things without her. These last couple of days have proved that to me." Ben's face was wet with the tears he could no longer hold back. Margaret pull him a little closer and he sobbed into her shoulder. "She'll be fine, really, she will. Simon Jones is the best neurologist around here" There were relatives of other patients, scattered about the waiting room, who were looking at him with sympathy. "Harry, Margaret." The tall, grey haired man was striding towards them. "Simon. How does it look?" Harry's tone was worried. "Early days I'm afraid, but we'll look after her. She's conscious and asking for someone called Ben?" Ben leapt to his feet. "Now just hold on! Don't you go thundering in there, she needs quiet!" Simon's tone was stern. "I'll go with him, Simon." Margaret said. The room was filled with all sorts of equipment, Mikie was hooked up to a heart monitor, an intravenous drip and oxygen. Her eyes were closed as Ben bent and kissed her forehead.
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She looked into his face. "I'm confused. I don't know how I got here. I'm scared, Ben." "I know, darlin', it'll be okay. Trust me." His voice was gentle, as was his smile. He wanted to pick her up and hold her close to him. "You need rest, darling." Her mother told her. "I need Ben. I don't want him to go." She was in pain and afraid. "I'm not going any where. You just take it easy." She struggled to smile at him. "It hurts a lot, Ben. It feels like my whole body is gonna explode." "Shhh! Don't talk, darlin', please. Close your eyes and rest." He was stroking her head. She was transferred to a private room where Ben sat with her, holding her hand. The nurses checked her every ten minutes. During the day and well into the night she slept. "Would you like some coffee, Mr Jordan?" Susan the Staff Nurse asked him, just after midnight. "That would be great, thanks." Susan returned five minutes later. "You look done in. You should get some sleep yourself." "I'm fine ma'am, really. It's not the first time I've done this. I just hope this ones not gonna last eight months." "Good heavens! I hope not, too. The blood tests should be back in about an hour. She must be someone special for Professor Jones to pull out all the stops. I've never known him to come in on a Sunday before." "Yeah, she's special. But, then again, I'm biased. When she comes through this, I'm not gonna let her out of my sight ever again. She slipped through my fingers once before and she won't have an opportunity to do that again." Susan looked up from the clipboard she was studying. "So how long have you two been married?"
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"We're not. Yet." Ben smiled. "If I've got the signals right, that situation will be rectified soon!" "I'll be back in a little while." Susan left. Ben sat with his fingers entwined in hers, his head on her bed and drifted in and out of sleep. He had pictures of her in his head. Shared memories of happier times. Memories of the love they had once made. She had turned up at his apartment obviously upset, explaining that she knew Jack was having another affair. She had tried to call him, but his secretary had told her he had gone for the afternoon. She had tried his hotel, but the switchboard operator told her he did not want to be disturbed. He had been about to eat dinner and she joined him. They had got through two bottles of wine and had whiskey. It was Mikie who instigated them sharing his bed. The following morning, Ben, although ecstatic that she had been in his bed all night, knew it was wrong and talked her into going home. Ben had often wondered if it had been her way of getting back at Jack for the many affairs he had. He had found a new contentment in his life over the last few days and did not want to face life on his own again. How pleased he had been when she returned his kiss. When he realised that she felt the same way about him. Now he was here with her, willing her to open her eyes and come back to him. Simon had said she had an infection of some sort and they had given her antibiotics. She had been asleep for best part of thirty six hours. Even though it was a strain for him, he would not leave her side for more than five minutes. He was wakened by a gentle tug of his hair. He sat up and looked at Mikie who was smiling at him. "Hi!" She said brightly. "Hi! How d'you feel?" "Still in pain but I think I'm over the worst. You look terrible."
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"I'm so worried. I thought I was gonna lose you." He said, relieved. "You don't get rid of me that easily." "Ah! You've decided to join us." Susan was bright considering it was three-twenty five in the morning. "And how do we feel?" "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry." "Well that's a good sign. I'll see what I can find." She left the room. "You must be feeling better." Ben smiled, pleased that she was back with him. "You don't break promises do you?" Her smile lit her face. "Not if I can help it. I told you to trust me and I meant it. I love you and I'm not gonna give you up." "I can remember seeing Mum." "They went home after you fell asleep. I said I would call with news." "What time is it?" "Three-twenty-six." "I missed the morning?" "And the afternoon and evening." Mikie stayed in the hospital for two more days. Test results showed an infection in her spine, that had been caught just in time to save her from meningitis. The doctor gave her more antibiotics to take and let her go home. She was also thankful that her leg had healed enough for the cast to be removed. The drive back to Millbank Hall was much more sedate than the frantic drive to the hospital had been. They sat in the back of the jaguar. Mikie with her head on Ben's shoulder and Ben with a protective arm around her. "I wanna ask you something. You don't have to answer now. Just think about it." Ben spoke into the top of her head. Hoping that she would agree to his request.
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"What?" "Will you marry me?" She sat up and looked into his eyes. "Are you serious? I know we've known each other for years, Ben, but I . I .." He held his fingers to her mouth. "Is it such an unreasonable request? You know how I feel. I should have told you a long time ago. I've tried to ask you so many times, over the last four years and chickened out. Just think about it. Please." He had to use all his will power to stop himself squeezing her tightly. Mikie felt like she would burst at any moment. She was looking into his face remembering the day she met him. Jack was full of praise for his friend. 'I'll never find a better buddy than Ben, Mik. I know you're just gonna love him too!' Jack had his arm round her waist. When Ben appeared in front of her she was instantly attracted to him. 'Well, I feel like I know you already. Jack has told me so much about you.' Mikie had smiled at him. When they shook hands there was something that Mikie could not quite understand. A spark or something. Something that she had never felt with Jack. She had dismissed it as nonsense. "Are you with me? Or are you somewhere else?" Ben's voice brought her back to reality. "I. I. I'm fine. I just ." She was struggling to find words that refused to be spoken. To find a way to express her feelings. To tell him how ecstatically happy she was a this very moment. Ben kissed her. A long lingering kiss that left her in no doubt that he loved her. "Oh, Ben! How can I refuse? I've loved you just as long as you've loved me. I should never have married Jack, I know that,
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but it was too late when I realised." "I'll take that as a yes then." His face lit up with the huge grin that spread across it. "Let's just keep it to ourselves for now though." She said quickly, thinking about the look on her father's face when she told him. "I'll try but that's one promise I can't make, because I don't think I'll be able to keep it!" He wanted to open the windows and yell at the passing world. He had tried to ask her about a dozen times in the past, when they were finished a meeting, having a working lunch, on the phone during one of his regular updates. He could never quite find the words. Now he was elated. Nothing in his life so far could compare with how he was feeling. "No big flashy affair. Just something quiet. A couple of friends and a drink in the pub." Ben raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Why? I want to show you off! Tell the world you're mine at last!" "Ben please!" The image of a big society wedding flashed across her mind. "Okay! Okay! But no promise." Ben found that the feelings he had buried for years were coming to the surface. He wanted to hold her close, forever and not let her out of his sight. All the memories of what Jack had done to her came into his mind. He knew that he should have had the courage to stop things. Stop Jack from hurting her, but he had been afraid that his feelings would not be returned. He had always been there to hold her and dry her tears when she and Jack had rowed. The first time she arrived at his apartment was at two thirty in the morning, three weeks after the wedding. Her face streaked with tears, she had told him every detail of the row. The following morning he had confronted Jack. Jack told him to stay out of it. Ben was surprised when Jack appeared to change his attitude and for a few months Mikie seemed happy. Then Jack insisted on taking a
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three week trip to the East coast. Ben invited Mikie to dinner. They both drunk a lot of wine and spent the night together. When Jack returned he was back to the charming husband Mikie knew and, once again, the marriage was strong. When Mikie got the news she was pregnant it was met with anger from Jack. It took several months for Ben to get him to face his responsibilities. When the twins were born Jack was, at first, happy. When he was told of Greg's problem he immediately rejected the child. This eventually would break the marriage irrevocably. Ben wished that Mikie had came to him then, but also knew the best place for her was home, in England. Mikie was suddenly aware that the car had stopped and Albert was holding the door open for her. "Not a word, Albert!" She said stepping from the car. "Of course not, miss!" Albert tried to hide the smirk on his face. Mikie and Ben found her parents waiting in the hall as they walked through the door. "It's good to have you back, darling." Harry swept his daughter into his arms. Margaret smiled. "How are you?" "I'll be fine when Dad stops squeezing the breath out of me!" Harry put her down. "Sorry! I forget you're not five anymore!" "Are we in time for lunch? Hospital food doesn't get any better." Mikie looked at her mother. "We were just about to start." Harry beamed. Mikie and Harry walked off in the direction of the breakfast room. Margaret caught Ben's arm and held him back. "How is she, Ben?" "She's okay. She may have to have some physical therapy on her leg and she needs to take it easy. I'll look after her, promise."
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He covered her hand with his own. "Thank you." The words were unnecessary but Ben was grateful. After lunch Ben took Mikie to her room. "I feel like an invalid. I'm fine really. I'm not in half as much pain." Mikie lay in the middle of her bed. "And I'm telling you that you need to rest. Don't make me lose my temper, it's not a pretty sight." Ben had sat down on the edge of the bed. "Even if I have to sit on you, you're gonna rest." "You don't have to sit on me, just lie down so I can snuggle into you." Mikie pouted. "What do you think I am, a teddy bear?" She put her arms round his neck. "I used to have a teddy named Ben when I was a little girl. He shared my bed until I was nine. Then Paul and Dave gave him to the dogs to rip apart. So be warned!" "That's okay. I've no intention of sharing your bed." "Not even if I ask you?" "I might consider it later, but right now you're gonna just lie there and do as you're told." He took her arms from round his neck and lay her back on the bed. "I'll be back in an hour." "Ben. You can't leave me." She was pleading with him. "Shush! If you move from that bed I'll I'll.." He was glaring at her. "You'll what?" "I'll tell your Dad we're getting married." He smiled at her. She glared back. "I'll stay here. I promise." Ben found it hard to walk out of the room, when all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and love her. He found Margaret waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. "Can we talk, Ben?" "Sure." The library was quiet. They sat opposite each other.
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Margaret was a very good judge of character. She had taken an instant liking to Ben and knew Mikie would be safe with him. From the conversations she had shared with him, she knew Ben loved Mikie and that her daughter had the same feelings for Ben. "I underestimated your feelings for Mikie, Ben. I apologise." Margaret said honestly. "You don't have to." "I do. You see I know my daughter. I know when she's hiding something from me. I'm not sure what, or if anything, has happened between you two, but I'm grateful to you for being a friend to her." "I love her. I'll not let anyone or anything hurt her, Margaret. She'll be angry with me, but I don't care." Ben took a deep breath. "I asked her to marry me." "I know. At least I thought that it would be that. I'll be very proud to welcome you into our family, Ben." She walked to the fire place and turned to look at him once more. "She's been hurt very badly in the past, Ben. I know she's safe with you. I know we have three other children but Michaela nearly died as she was being born so she's always been special to us. Harry openly admits that she's his favourite and he won't see her hurt." "I've no intention of hurting her. I want to wrap her up and keep her from harm. She's far too stubborn to let me." He said, resigned. "Do you have to get back home for anything pressing?" Margaret's question brought Ben back to thinking about the business he had left six days before. "I should be back this week, but I was going to ask if I could use your phone." "Of course you can. Good heavens you don't need to ask! If you need it, you can use the office, there's a fax machine in there. And if you have any problems with the staff you just come and tell me. James, especially, can be a bit of a snob for a butler." Margaret hugged him. "One last thing, will you call me Mum?"
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Ben felt suddenly blessed. "Sure, Mom." He gave her a beaming smile. "Just don't tell her ladyship that you know, please." It was two and a half hours later when Mikie finally opened her eyes. The chair by the bed where she had expected to see Ben was empty. She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Walking unsteadily into the sitting room, she found him sitting at the desk with papers spread out in front of him. She crept up behind him, bent down and kissed his ear. "Feeling better?" He asked. "Much! You were right. I did need rest." She had her arms draped round his neck. "I told you to trust me. I'll look after you. Besides, I promised Mom." He kissed her hand. "Mom? She told you to call her Mum. I wonder why? As if I didn't know." she had playfully put her hands round his throat. "She knew! I didn't have to tell her. Honest!" Ben stood and turned to face her. "You don't give her credit. She's your mother." "I'm well aware of that. Now Dad and everyone else will know." She wanted to sound angry. To show him her disapproval. She was no where near giving the impression of either. "No they won't she said she'll keep it to herself." Ben said, trusting Margaret's word. "Yeah! Sure! I can see her doing that." "Mikie. I didn't promise not to tell. She knew. Sort of." "She never keeps anything from Dad. Thirty six years they've been married. You don't stay married that long by keeping secrets." Her tone was informative. "What difference does it make? They're all gonna know shortly anyway." He smiled and touched her face. "Yeah! But I wanna be the one to tell them."
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"So go do it." He said, challenging her to react. "Do what?" "Tell them! Shout it from the roof tops! Make it front page news in the village paper! I don't care! All I care about is you and the kids and that's what matters!" She looked at him, eyes wide and then she started to relax. "You're right, of course. I do love you." "I know and so does your mother." He was smiling at her. "Come here, you." He wrapped his arms round her and kissed her. They stood in the middle of the room for a long time. Ben felt happier than he had ever been in his life. Mikie, too, was happy. Through all of her life she had had happy times, both her previous weddings and the births of her children but nothing measured up to this moment. The memory of the night they had shared came into her mind. Every inch of her wanted him, to feel him close, to hold him and love him. "Show me, Ben." She whispered into his chest. "You're supposed to be taking it easy. I don't want to put your recovery back any." "You won't. I need you to show me. I want to show you." Her eyes were sparkling with love. Ben smiled at her. He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom and lay her on the bed. They helped each other out of their clothes. Ben was gentle and caring. He stroked her body and kissed her. Mikie wrapped herself round him and pulled him close. The love they made was just as she remembered. He was gentle and attentive and she returned every caress and kiss. They lay close together until their breathing settled back to normal. "Thank you." She whispered. "My pleasure." He grinned. "Thank you, too." "You're welcome." She beamed a smile at him. "We'd better
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get dressed and go down for dinner." "I guess we should. It's not what I want to do." "I know, but we've got the rest of our lives." Margaret, Harry, Brett, Ali, Tara and Greg were already in the dining room with Paul, his wife Jan and their son Philip, when Mikie and Ben walked in, hand in hand. "I was going to send Jenny up to see if you wanted to eat in your room. I'm glad you decided to come down." Harry smiled. "I'm fine, Dad. I'm glad you're all here, I've got something to say." Mikie waited a few seconds while everyone looked at her. "Ben and I are getting married." She raised her hand in her father's direction. "Before you say it, we've known each other for years, we just didn't admit to how we felt. Other wise I would never have married Jack!" "Oooh! Charming! Then we wouldn't exist!" Tara stared at her mother in disbelief. "Of course you would, sweetheart! Your Mom loved your Daddy, you know that. I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it sounded." He turned and glared down at Mikie. "Did you?" "Of course not! I did love Jack! I just " "Give it up while you're ahead, Mum! Tara's just being Tara!" Brett interrupted his mother. "I think it's great news!" The rest of the evening was filled with talk of planning the celebration. Ben was amused by how easily Mikie had been talked into the 'Big Wedding' she had insisted she did not want. The men left the women to talk about dresses, cakes and flowers. They went into the drawing room to have a celebration brandy. "She's stubborn as a donkey, you know?" Brett's eyes were twinkling with amusement. "Uh-hu!.. I know that!" Ben was beaming. "She ain't seen nothing yet!" "So when is this wedding going to be, anyway?" Jan asked,
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coming into the room followed by the other women. "There's a question." Ben stated as he looked at Mikie, he had not thought that far ahead. He was hoping it would be soon. "Well don't all look at me. I haven't thought that far ahead yet." She was standing shrugging her shoulders, with her hands raised, looking into Ben's face. "How about Sunday, the week after next, its uncle Ben's birthday. That would be a good day." Tara's small voice astounded the adults. "How do you know its Ben's birthday?" Mikie enquired. "They should. They send me a card every year." Ben had picked up the little girl. "You're a very cleaver girl. I think it's a great idea." "I suppose its as good a day as any. It'll give us just enough time to sort things out." Her smile lit up her face. Later in the evening, after the children had gone to bed, Mikie and Ben were alone in the room with Harry and Margaret. "Thank you, Ben, for making my little girl happy again." Harry said. "It's my pleasure, sir, believe me." He had his arm round Mikie's shoulder and pulled her a little closer to him. He felt her wince. "I guess that means you're tired?" "Will you please stop mothering me. I've already got one of those, I couldn't possibly cope with two." She said despairingly. "If you need mothering, then mothering is what you're gonna get. So get used to it." He pinched the end of her nose. "Okay, I give in. I am a bit tired." She confessed. Ben helped her up off the sofa where she had been curled against him. "Be careful." Margaret whispered into her daughters ear as she hugged her good night. Mikie was not sure what her mother meant. "Good night, you two." Harry said shaking Ben by the hand
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and kissing Mikie's cheek. "Want me to carry you?" Ben said as they reached the middle of the staircase and Mikie stopped. "No. Mother! How could I not know what she meant by that.?" Realisation hit Mikie like a slap in the face. "What're you talking about now?" "Mum! She said 'be careful' and I wasn't sure what she meant!" Ben smiled. "Ah, I see!" He picked her up and carried her the rest of the way to his bed. "How come we're in here?" "Change of scenery. Does you the world of good. I mean look what happened to me. I came to see you and I've ended up with a family." He lay her gently down. "You are sure, aren't you, Ben?" Her eyes were wide and sparkling. "Let me show you how sure I am." He smiled. They took each other to heights they thought were unobtainable. Ben knew, instinctively, how to melt her with his touch. Mikie's caresses sent feelings of rapture through Ben that he had never felt before. As they lay together, exhausted but happy, Ben stroked her arm that lay across his bare chest. "For all the lovers I've had, and there have been a few, I've never felt like this. I didn't think it was possible. I'm not overly sure that I want to know where you learned that, but who ever taught you I'm grateful too." "You taught me. I followed your lead. I love you more than I could ever love anything or anyone Ben Jordan." She rolled on top of him and kissed him. "Don't ever leave me, Ben, I want you to promise." "I've no intention of leaving you. What do I have to do to convince you?" He was stroking her hair and looking deep into her eyes.
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"Just be here for me. Listen when I need you to and tell me to be quiet when I talk too much." "If that's all I have to do, I've got one hell of an easy job." Ben's beaming smile told her how much he loved her. She snuggled into his chest and was asleep half a minute later.
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CHAPTER 5 Ben woke to the sound of her singing coming from the bathroom. He followed the sound and stood, leaning against the door-post. Mikie was reclined in the bathtub up to her ears in bubbles. "If you do this every morning I'll be able to throw away my alarm clock." He said brightly. She turned, startled, sending bubbles and water cascading to the floor. "Are you trying to drown me!?" "It's okay you're safe, I've got a life saving award." He grinned. He walked across and attempted to sit on the edge of the bath. His foot slipped on the wet floor and he tumbled in on top of her. The Bathroom floor now held as much water as the bath. They were paralysed with laughing. "It's a good job this tub is big enough for two." Mikie said trying to control her giggles. "I just hope the floor's waterproof." Ben's eyes were gleaming with laughter. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" "No, The water took your weight." They twisted around so that each could sit up. This sent even more water onto the floor. "Someone is gonna spend most of the morning mopping this floor." Ben observed. "Nah, it'll drain into the shower outlet. Its not the first time a bathroom has been flooded. Granddad left the water running once and ruined the breakfast room ceiling, so Dad had the floors in all the bathrooms changed." She had regained her composure. "This may be a stupid question but do you always take a bath wearing shorts?" "I wasn't supposed to be taking a bath." They broke into another fit of giggles. "Mikie, Please! Don't start again." "I didn't start in the first place. You were the one who fell
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in." She playfully splashed water at him. He leaned forward and took hold of her shoulders. "Through all this messing about I haven't had what I came in here for." "Which is?" "My morning kiss. I need something to get me started." "Started on what?" Mikie was smirking at him. "Get your mind off the single track you're on for five seconds, please!" "Why? You're just as bad as I am." Ben made love to her in the warm water. He was surprised when he climbed out of the bath to find the floor was practically dry. He wrapped a towel round his waist, then helped Mikie from the tub and wrapped her in one of the big, soft towels that were folded on the shelf. He gently dried her and she stood still while he worked. "I'm so happy I could fly." She said wistfully. "Promise me that it will always be like this." she wrapped her arms round his, still wet, torso. "I'll promise that I'll try, honey, I can't do any more." "Please don't call me 'honey' I hate that. Jack used to call me that. Half the time to annoy me, I'm sure." "Okay! What shall I call you?" He held her at arms length and looked at her. "Mmmm?" "Anything, just not that." "I'll think of something." He had a gleam in his eye that Mikie took to be wicked. "How about 'Jezebel'? That suits you.. Mmm! Or 'Harlot' even better." "Don't you dare." She tried to move towards him but he kept her at arms length. "Now, now! Don't get riled. Remember your back and your leg." His eyes were shining with amusement. "Maybe I'll just call you my little tiger. Cute as a kitten, deadly as a rattler."
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"Ben Jordan! You rat!" "Oooh! Don't cats chase rats? I better be careful I don't get caught!" He let go of her and in two strides was out of the bathroom. As she ran after him she tripped over the edge of the towel and was sent sprawling into his arms. They both tumbled to the floor. "There's a moral to this." He laughed. "Don't run when the towel you're wrapped in is bigger than you are!" "That hurt. But not as much as it would have if you hadn't caught me. Thanks." "That's what I'm here for, to save you from harm." He kissed her. "You're gonna have to move before I can, it's pretty uncomfortable down here." He said. She clambered up onto the bed and Ben followed. "You were saying something about not getting caught." She playfully pulled his hair. "Looks like I'll have to try harder next time, doesn't it?" She pushed him back across the bed and lay on him. "It seems to me like you didn't try at all." Her kiss stopped him from saying anything else. "Unless you wanted to be caught!" "You can read me like a book. I'm never gonna get away with anything am I?" "Not much, no." The wetness from the bath turned to wetness from the perspiration of the love they made together. Mikie rolled, out of breath, and lay at his side. "I didn't think I could do that." Ben said, between gasps for air. "Who said you did? Maybe it was me." She grinned. "See I was right. 'Harlot' is a good name for you." She gently bit his shoulder and he pulled her closer to him. "I bet this shower is gonna be freezing."
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"Nah! Instant heat. It's electric." When they emerged from the bedroom the house was quiet. They went downstairs into the breakfast room where they found Jenny and Pat laying the table for lunch. Mikie and Ben were surprised that the wall-clock said eleven-thirty-eight. "We won't be a moment, miss, everyone else has gone out for lunch." Pat smiled at them. "That's all right, Pat, take your time. Is there coffee?" "Yes, miss." Jenny poured out two cups and placed them on the table. When the two maids were finished they left the room. "Hell's teeth, Ben, look at the time!" Mikie's expression spoke volumes to Ben. "So what? Are you really that bothered?" Ben was relaxed. "I'm so relaxed that if I stand up right now I'll collapse in a heap 'cause my bones won't work." "No I'm not bothered at all. I just don't know what Mum will say, that's all." "She'll probably say well done! It takes stamina to do what we have this morning." "You're shameless. Do you know that?" "Not only do I know it, I'm proud of it." He was laughing at her again. "Mmm.. I can see you're gonna be trouble." "With a capital 'T'!" He winked at her. "You promised to take me round the lake and show me a secret place." "Did I? When?" "The night of the party. Just before you fell asleep. I wasn't sure whether it was the drugs talking." "No. I'll take you. Its a fair distance though." She drifted off in some day dream for a moment. "If you're not up to it, it can wait." Ben's expression had changed to concern.
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"We can take the bike. I'll tell James to ring the stables." She left the room. Ben was pouring more coffee when she got back. "It's all sorted." She said. "Mik, hon. sorry. Sweetheart, you don't have to do everything I ask." "I know. It's just that I know so much of your world and you know very little of mine. I want to show you. It's a special place, I used to go there with Jeff. Even Jack didn't know about this one." She was at his side. "We don't have to go if you'd rather stay here." "I want to go. It's just I'm worried about you." He said concerned. "Don't be! I'll be with you. I feel so safe with you, like nothing can touch me when you're around." "Mikie don't get complacent. There's no such thing as superman and I'm nowhere near being a knight in shining armour." Every shred of his being wanted to wrap her up and keep her from harm, but he knew that he would never be able to keep her completely safe. "I know that." Still, in her mind he was every bit her knight in armour. She wanted him to be her protector, her shield from the bad things life kept throwing at her. She stood behind him, wrapped her arms round his waist and put her head against his back. "I just don't want you to start thinking that I'm something I'm not. It makes me feel uncomfortable." "I'm sorry. I don't mean to. I just know that you'll keep me as safe as you're able." "Uh-hum!" James was standing in the doorway. "Excuse me, miss, sir, a package has arrived for Mr Jordan." They both turned to look at him. "Oh great! Could you bring it in here, please?" Ben sounded
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relieved. "What's going on now?" There was obvious disappointment in her voice. "I called Glen and asked him to send me some stuff. I was supposed to be back last week." He noticed the disappointed look on her face, "Don't look like that. It'll take half an hour, tops." "Do you have to do it now?" "They need my signature, mostly and I have to check some details. Why don't you help, then I'll get through quicker.?" "Your package, sir." James had returned. "Thank you, Jimmy." Ben smiled at him. "It's James, sir! You're welcome." James left the room filled with indignation. "Oh dear! I think I've upset your butler again." Mikie laughed at him. "You're so bothered by that, aren't you? He's hired help and the biggest snob in England!" Ben opened the large package that contained several files and some letters. He explained to Mikie which were important and she set about prioritising them. Ben set to work reading the files and letters and signed them as he went. True to his word Ben gave the paperwork half an hour. He still had not quite finished but packed it away until their return. "I guess it will just have to go tomorrow. I'll give Glen a call later and let him know." He smiled. "You can finish if you want." Mikie said, hoping he would say no. "No. I said half an hour. I'm a man of my word." Mikie led him across the rear yard to the stable block where they found a quad-bike waiting. She climbed onto it and Ben sat behind her. They put on helmets and roared off towards the lake. It took about ten minutes to reach the spot Mikie had told Ben about. When she stopped the bike and got off Ben could see why
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she felt it was so special. "Wow! The view is fantastic!" He was genuinely in awe of the scene in front of him. The lake stretched out in front of them. There were hills to the left and trees on the right. There was a small breeze that brought the scent of trees and flowers. "It is kinda special, isn't it?" She said wistfully. "Now I know why you love it here. Thanks for bringing me, I know it's your little piece of paradise." "It's not mine anymore. It's ours. I want to share everything with you, Ben. I kept this secret from Jack. I don't know why, I suppose I couldn't share as much with him as I can with you." He was gazing out across the mirror of the lake. The hills were reflected in the water. The colours were vibrant and clear. He was aware of the aroma of the woodland flowers and shrubs. There were birds flying overhead but he could not hear a sound, save for the gentle lap of the water on the shore. He was surprise by the presence of sand along the shore of the lake. "Come on. There's more!" She took his hand and lead him into the wood. They had walked about five hundred yards when he saw the small hut in front of him. "We think it was once a gamekeepers hideout. I brought some things up here a while back to make sure if I got stuck I'd have some supplies." Inside the hut seemed bigger than the outside looked. There were two deck-chairs, a camping stove, a few tins and packets of food and in one corner was a raised, wooden platform with sleeping bags rolled up on the end. "It looks like you've been up here often." He observed. "The last time I was up here was the day you arrived. I needed some space." She remembered why she had come here. So she could shed her tears of frustration without anyone
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interfering. She had been angry with herself for being careless and ending up with the cast on her leg. She smiled. "Do you want some tea?" "That would be great. You spend the night up here?" "Yeah, sometimes if it starts to rain. Are you hungry?" Ben had not realised Mikie was carrying a basket. "No, I'm fine just now, thanks." She lit the gas stove and placed a kettle on top to boil. "Let's go out side, it gets a bit stuffy when the stove is on." Ben followed. Mikie took him round the back of the hut and he was surprised to find it so near the edge of the lake. "You can swim if you like." "I was thinking that would be nice. What about a towel?" "There are some in the cabin." "You're an angel sent from heaven, just to look after me, aren't you?" He smiled. "Maybe. It'll be cold though." "Just like the harbour back home, I'm used to that." He removed his clothes. The cool, early summer, air hit his bare flesh and made him shiver. He walked into the water. Mikie watched him from the bank. Somewhere deep in her memory was the sight of Jeff swimming through the water. She quickly shook the memory form her brain and came back to the present. "Don't go too far out, Ben! There can be strong currents despite the appearance!" She called urgently. "It's okay, I know what I'm doing!" Ben was an accomplished swimmer. He was also sensible enough to know that the appearance of the surface could hide undercurrents. He felt like he was on a different planet, one where he had no worries or cares. One where he could lose himself. Oh how he wished he could stay in this magical place forever. Mikie went back into the hut to brew the tea. When she returned to the bank Ben was gone.
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She panicked. "Ben! ..Ben!" she shouted. She was rigid with fear and scanned the lake for signs of him. He was behind her and he slipped his arms round her waist. "What?" She turned round and slapped his face sharply. "Don't you ever do anything like that again!" Her face showed the anger and panic she felt inside her. "Whoa! That hurt!" He rubbed his face. He was confused. "It was supposed to! It'll be worse if you ever do it again!" She said angrily. "I'm sorry! It was a joke." Ben could not understand the change in her demeanour. "There is no joke! Jeff drowned in this lake!" Her thoughts voiced, she began to shake. Ben was horrified. His mind filled with the same thoughts that Mikie had been thinking moments before. "You said he'd been killed in an accident. Not drowned." "I was pregnant. I couldn't do anything to save him." She fell sobbing into his arms. "Shhh! I'm sorry, it was stupid. I apologise." His tone was soft and gentle. "Oh, Ben! I thought something awful had happened. I couldn't cope if anything happened to you. Your friendship has kept me going for a long time." She held his body tightly to her own. "I know. I'm sorry. I won't do anything like that again, I promise." He held her close until she stopped sobbing. She was aware of him shivering. "Lets get you warmed up or you'll catch something dreadful." "I already have. I caught you." He managed to raise a smile from her. "I truly am sorry, darlin' I won't do it again." "I'll forgive you this time. Just make sure you don't do it again, or else!" Her sobs and anger were subsiding.
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"Uh-hu! That sounds like a threat." "No. It's a promise!" Her tone was hard and meaningful. "And what is this 'or else'?" He was amused at her tone. "When I think of something suitably horrible, I'll let you know." They went inside the hut. Mikie sat Ben down on the platform bed and wrapped a sleeping bag round him. She gave him a mug of steaming tea and climbed up to sit behind him and hold him in her arms. "I'm sorry I slapped you. I was scared." She was far from being scared now. "I don't know what I'll do if I lose you, Ben." "Will you stop thinking that you're gonna lose me. I've told you you're stuck with me. Like it or not and very shortly for 'richer, for poorer, in sickness and health' and all that stuff. " He tried to convince her. "I'll believe you, it just takes time." She kissed the back of his head. "I'm cold. What do you do for heat around here?" He was suddenly aware of his own shivering. "There isn't any. We'll have to make our own." She grinned, wickedly. "Michaela McKeon! I don't know where you get your energy from! I don't think I'll make the wedding. I'll be warn out!" "Oh. Rubbish! You love it just as much as me." "Yeah! And do you realise we've been doing it without protection?" His observation was met with surprise. "What?" She started to laugh. "What's so funny?" He asked, puzzled "You are!" She said. "You think of things at the strangest of times, in the strangest places, Ben Jordan." "I don't follow." "Don't worry. I can't get pregnant. There were some complications when Tara and Greg were born. I can't have any
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more babies." "Oh!" Ben's face lit up. "In that case, come here." When they were lying in each others arms Ben looked at her. "Will any one have missed you?" he asked "Nope! I go missing for hours and it's usually only the kids who notice." "So what will we tell them?" He felt like a teenager who was about to get caught in his parents bed. "I don't know. We could say we've been building sandcastles." she grinned. It was getting dark when they returned to the house. They slipped in through the kitchen much to the amusement of the kitchen staff and James who was helping with dinner. "We'll have dinner in my room, please." Mikie said to Moira, the cook. "Of course, miss, I'll have Jenny bring some up." Moira looking perplexed. When they had left she turned to the rest of the staff. "Well! What do you make of that?" "It's none of our affair, Moira." Elizabeth, the housekeeper, told her.
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CHAPTER 6 Mikie took Ben up the back stairs to her room. After dinner she was curled up against Ben on the sofa when there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" She said quietly, hoping that whoever it was would not hear and go away. The door opened and her mother appeared. "Are you two all right? We missed you at dinner." "We're fine. I'm sorry about dinner, I couldn't face it." Mikie informed her mother. "Oh right!" She was lookin from Mikie to Ben. "Have you two been fighting?" "No! What gives you that idea?" Mikie was puzzled. "The hand-print on Ben's face is a bit of a give-away." "It was an accident. She slipped." Ben smiled at Margaret. "I'll take your word for it. I hope she made up for it properly." "Yes ma'am, she did!" Margaret winked at Ben. "I'll see you later." She left. "Not only have my children got one track minds, so, it appears, has my mother!" Mikie was exasperated. "Now I know where you get it from." He grinned. "Ben!" She was horrified. He caught her hand to save him from one of her punches. "You've caused enough bother with your right hand for one day, thank you." "You're just as bad as they are." "I'm just as bad? What, my darlin', does that make you? Twice as bad, I think." Before she could voice her protest he kissed her. "I wouldn't want you any other way. Please don't change, ever!" "Maybe I'll get better." She smirked. "Or maybe I'll get worse."
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"Worse? I don't think that's possible." "Just try me." She had a look of lust in her eyes. "Mikie! You've got ten years on me." Ben's protest seemed to fall on deaf ears. She pulled him up and took him into the bedroom. She sat him on the end of the bed and took off his shirt. She pushed him back. "Roll over." "What? Why?" He said anxiously. "Don't look so terrified! Roll over!" He rolled onto his stomach. She ran her hands over his back and massaged his tense muscles. He lay still and allowed her to work. She used an exotic smelling oil, that soothed him into a deep sleep. He was wakened, once again, by her sweet voice. She came from the bathroom as he turned over in the bed. "Good morning! How d'you feel?" She asked. "Fantastic! You really are full of surprises." He had had the best nights sleep in months. "Oh! Full of them!" She grinned. She sat on the bed. "One question." Ben said. "Mmm..?" "I can't remember getting into bed." "Don't worry, I may be a 'harlot' but you'd remember me." She leaned over and kissed him. He put his arms round her and held her close. "Come on you have to get up!" She told him. "We have to go and find something to wear at this shin-dig, don't we.?" "What?" "The wedding! Fool! Unless you care to get married in your boxers." "Surely we don't have to do this right now. At this precise moment?" His face was contorted with confusion.
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"And you call me." She tugged the sheets from the bed. "Up! Shower! Dressed! Breakfast!" "But you've got me used to breakfast before I get out of bed!" He protested. "I'm not on the menu today. GET UP!" She left him in his moment of misery and went into the sitting room. "If you're not out of that bed in ten seconds, I'll throw iced water over you!" "I'm up! You don't need to." He replied. She could hear him muttering as he went, reluctantly, into the shower. He emerged fifteen minutes later, shaved, dressed and smelling like a cosmetics counter in a big department store. "Whoosh! A bit heavy on the after shave, sweetie." "You don't like being called 'honey', I don't like being called 'sweetie'!" He was glaring at her. "Ooh! Has teddy got a sore head? Will Mikie kiss it better?" She said mocking him. "No! I have not got a sore head. I don't need anything kissed better. Thank you!" His tone was flat. "We have got it bad, haven't we?" She was amused. "Don't laugh at me, Mikie!" "I'm not. Don't be such a hot-head! You were complaining yesterday, from what I can remember." "That was yesterday." She was looking at him with her eyebrows raised. "Coffee?" "I'm not hungry." He snorted. "I didn't ask if you wanted food, I asked if you want coffee. Ben. Sulking makes you look ridiculous." "I'm not sulking!" "No, course not!" She handed him a cup of coffee and smiled at him. "I love you, Ben Jordan." She said and melted his heart. He sighed. "You're right, I am sulking!" He amazed
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himself at his confession. "I love you too. You've spoiled me these last few days. And it was you who wanted it to be like that always." "I know. It's just that you seemed like you would sleep till noon. It's gonna take an hour to get to the shops." She said gently. "I don't recall mention of any shops." He was searching his memory "You wouldn't you were far away, when we talked about it" She smiled "So where are we going?" "There's a mall south of Newcastle, we should be able to find something there." "There may be a problem with that." The thought hit like a lightning bolt. "Which is?" "Money, or should I say, the lack of it. I didn't bring that much with me." "You can't get out of it that easily. You have credit cards?" She said. "One." "That's fine. We're not some totally uncivilised island that doesn't use credit cards, you know." "That's as may be, but there's still a problem. I'm nearly at my limit." "In ten days time we're getting married. I think I can buy my husband to-be some clothes." She laughed. "Mikie, I'd rather you didn't." He would rather call his bank and extend his credit. The thought that he could be financially reliant on Mikie appalled him. "Hells teeth, Ben! Call it a loan then. You can pay me back later." She was confused by his pride. "Okay. But I will pay you back. As soon as I get home."
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There was a knock at the door. Ben opened it. "Are you ready?" It was Ali. "We'll be there in a tick." Mikie said. "We're downstairs!" Ali disappeared. "The kids are coming?" Ben sounded surprised. "Yeah! They need new outfits too." This small fact changed his whole attitude. "Why didn't you say? I wouldn't have made all that fuss about getting out of bed." "Oh! I'll remember that one. I'll tell you the kids need you and you'll just jump out of bed." "I thought when you said 'we' you meant the two of us." "'We' usually means the package." "Okay! Are you ready?" He grinned. "I've been ready for ages. I've been waiting for you." He held out his hand and she took it. When she stood up he pulled her close and kissed her. "Sorry." He said quietly. "It's okay." "No, it's not. I shouldn't have been like that. I can be pretty cranky in the morning." "It's fine, Ben, really. I can be cranky too, sometimes." Everything forgiven, they went downstairs to find the children waiting in the hallway. "It's about time! We've been waiting ages!" Tara announced. "Five minutes is not ages, Taz!" Brett scolded his sister. The drive was spent in light conversation between Mikie, Ben, Ali and Brett. Tara and Greg were looking at books. It was nine-thirty-five when they arrived at the shopping centre. Most of the shops where still closed so they decided to look for a caf and have breakfast. "So once we've found some clothes, then can we go to Kids Country?" Tara was talking with a mouth full of croissant. "Tara, darling, please wait until you've finished eating. I
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said I would take you didn't I?" Mikie despaired of her little daughters' manners. Tara nodded her reply. "What is Kids Country?" Ben asked. "Its an indoor amusement park." Ali replied. "Just go with the flow, Ben! You'll pick it up as you go along." "If there's something you need to know, we'll tell you." Brett smiled at him. Ben smiled at the two young people and felt very proud of them. Mikie, too, was feeling proud of her children. Looking at each of them she knew she had made the right decision with Ben. They spent the morning and half the afternoon shopping for outfits suitable for the wedding. Ben took Mikie into several jewellers so that she could choose an engagement ring, they also picked out wedding rings. "May I be of assistance?" The young man had asked when they entered the third jeweller's shop. "We're looking at rings." Ben had replied. "Dress or formal?" "Engagement and wedding." "Would madam be interested in silver, gold or platinum?" "What do you have in platinum?" Ben asked quickly before Mikie could answer. The young man brought out two large trays of rings. "If there is a style of ring that you've seen, we can usually get it made up in any metal, it does take several weeks though." Mikie looked at the range of rings. There were several stones to choose from, diamond, ruby, emerald etc. she picked up two and placed them on the velvet cloth that covered the counter. The assistant beckoned the security guard over. "Can you bring me that new tray of platinum, please?" "Of course Mr Smithers."
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"I've just taken an order this morning, very much along the lines of the rings you've picked out." "Thank you. I'm sure I'll find something, these are big possibilities." Mikie smiled at him. She narrowed the choice of engagement ring down to three possibles. "Which one Ben?" "It's entirely up to you. Have them all if you like!" he shrugged. "Big help. Thanks!" she turned to Smithers. "How much are they?" "The large diamond is three quarter carat, flawless and priced at forty two thousand-five hundred. The smaller diamond is half carat priced thirty two thousand and the ruby is priced at eighteen thousand-three hundred." Smithers was not overly sure they could afford any of the rings looking at the jeans and shirts they were wearing. "If you were to purchase wedding rings at the same time there would be a ten percent discount, madam." "Ben darling would you ask Ali to come and look? I need the help of a woman here." Mikie was finding it very difficult to choose. "Sure!" Ben went to the door and motioned to Ali. "I said you would need my help." Ali said looking at the rings. "I know your taste so I would go for the smaller diamond or the ruby." "Yep! That's the problem. I can't make up my mind!" Mikie said. "So have them both. I told you whatever you want." Ben was smiling at her. "Okay! I'll have both!" she said decisively. "What type of wedding ring do you want?" "Whatever you choose will be fine." He smiled. "Ben Jordan, what a cop out!" Mikie looked despairingly at Smithers. "The wedding won't happen 'cause I'm gonna murder
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him!" She remembered the non-committal attitude Ben had while trying to find a suit. Mikie was tired and starting to get irritated. "May I give some advice, madam?" Smithers looked horrified. Mikie smiled. "I'd very much value your opinion, thank you." "Well, sir has fairly large hands so a broad ring would be more suitable. And I could match the wedding rings to the diamond engagement, unless sir would prefer a plain band." "Plain bands will be best I think." Mikie smiled at him. They finally settled on their rings and Mikie asked for the total. "Will you accept Amex?" "Madam will need some identification, also." "Oh, sure. Driving licence?" "That would be appropriate." Mikie handed the document to Smithers along with her credit card. Smithers was surprised it was a platinum card and even slightly shocked when he read her driving licence. The colour had drained from his face. "Lady McKeon! Its such a pleasure that you've chosen our humble establishment. I'll have the transaction completed immediately!" He rushed off into the office and emerged a minute later with a small bag and a docket to sign. "May I wish you every happiness in your forthcoming marriage?" "Thank you!" Mikie smiled. Ben and Ali had left the shop and were waiting with the others. "I don't think he was convinced we could afford this lot." Mikie said holding up the bag. "No I don't either." Ben agreed. They had stopped for a late lunch. Everyone was kited out except Mikie.
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"What about you?" Ben asked. "I was thinking , if you and Brett take Tara and Greg to Kids Country, Ali and I can shop for something for me." Mikie replied. "How long will that take?" Ben was horrified. "About twenty minutes, I've seen a couple of things already." Ben was not convinced. "I guess I'll have to take your word for that. I know what women can be like when it comes to shopping." "Twenty minutes, I promise." She kissed him, then gave him some cash and headed off with Ali to one of the big shops. The cash he gave to Brett. "You'd better look after this, I'm totally lost with it." "You'll get the hang of it. You'll need to if you're dead set on marrying my mother." Brett laughed. Ben and Brett walked off with Tara and Greg between them. Kids Country was hard to miss. It was very loud. Brett paid at the entrance for a book of tokens so the young children could go on the rides. As they sat on a carousel, Ben and Brett sat on a bench and watched them. "Thanks for making Mum happy again, Ben, she was pretty cut up over Jack." Brett felt safe. He had a father figure in his life again. Someone he could discuss things with, things his grandfather did not understand. "I know. I was there. It was a bit messy. I couldn't understand how he could do what he did. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought." Ben felt he could be honest with Brett. He had met Ali and Brett several times over the years and had thought they were the sort of children he would like one day. Now that was about to happen, he was very pleased. "Tara still thinks he's gonna turn up on the doorstep. She'll get over it eventually. I thought you should know." "Thanks Brett. I'll tell your Mom and we'll keep an eye on
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her." "I don't think Greg really understands, it's hard to tell. Sometimes he's the same as any normal kid then he goes and does something that you don't expect. It's hard but I think he'll be okay. I'm not sure that he liked Jack much. I know he was his dad, but Jack just didn't seem to accept Greg as being his son, maybe it was the Down's thing, I could never figure it out." Brett was honest. He had no reason to hide his feelings. "Jack thought that he was perfect, faultless. He couldn't accept anything that wasn't the same to be part of him. I saw the effect it had on your mother. It broke my heart I wanted to punch some sense into him, but I knew that that would be almost impossible!" True to her word Mikie turned up twenty minutes later with Ali carrying two large bags. They all spent an hour and a half in Kids Country, then decided it was time to head home. They were all carrying at least two bags. "I'll carry those, Mum." Brett was worried about his mother. "I'm fine. Don't fuss." "You're not fine. You're tired! I knew I should have gone for your wheelchair at lunch-time!" "Brett, please! I'm okay!" Her protest was not convincing. "Okay is not fine, is it?" Ben, Ali, Greg and Tara were walking in front and appeared not to hear the conversation. Mikie reluctantly gave up all but one of the bags she was carrying. She could hear Greg chatting to Ben and Ali about the rides he had enjoyed. When they reached the car Mikie found that she was exhausted. "Will you drive home, Ben, please?" She held out the keys to him. "I'll give you directions." "Sure!" Ben followed her directions and was surprised at
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recognising the scenery and land marks. He glanced across at Mikie who had fallen asleep. "Oh brother. Now we're in trouble!" He said loudly. "What's up?" Brett asked. "Your Mom is asleep." "I knew she was tired." Brett said annoyed. "It's okay, Ben, it's not far now. I'll help." Ben found it was not necessary to ask for Brett's help. He found the entrance to the drive himself. As he stopped the car James came down the steps from the house. Tara was also asleep and Brett picked her up and carried her into the house. Ali emptied bags and parcels from the back of the car and gave some of them to Greg and others to James. Ben walked round the car and opened the front passenger door. He gently lifted Mikie from the seat. She did not stir. He carried her up to her bedroom and lay her gently down. James had followed him with several of the bags. "Oh thanks! Just put them anywhere I'll sort them later." "Yes, sir! Will there be anything else?" James said frostily. "No, thanks, I'm fine." James left the room and Ben sat on the sofa. He was mentally calculating how much money he owed Mikie, but the more he tried he found it impossible because he was worried about her. He strode into the bedroom and looked at her. He gently removed most of her clothes and put her to bed. He sat in the chair and watched her sleep. It was getting to be a familiar pattern. She opened her eyes and sat up. "Did I fall asleep?" She said, still sleepy and disorientated. "You did. Why the hell didn't you say you were tired?" He was trying not to be angry with her. "I wasn't aware of it until we were almost back at the car." She lied.
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"Don't tell lies. I heard what Brett said. I guess I missed the signs." "I'm all right, Ben, really. Thanks for bringing us home." "You're gonna have to swallow that pride of yours and tell me when you're not feeling up to things, Mik, other wise I'm not gonna know." He was sitting on the edge of the bed. She reached out and touched his arm. "I know. I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry, just tell me." He kissed her hand. "Go back to sleep. Do you need any painkillers?" "No I'm okay. I don't want to got back to sleep either." "Mikie, darlin', please." "I'm hungry. I'll ring down for something. How about you?" "Whatever you feel like will be fine with me." Ben knew when he was beaten. She slipped from the bed, pulled on a robe that hung near and followed Ben into the other room. He had picked up one of the bags and was just about to look inside. "No peeking. That's mine!" She said taking the bag from him. "You're joking?" "No. I'm not. Don't look, its supposed to be unlucky." He stared at her in disbelief and shook his head. There was a knock at the door. It was Margaret. "Brett said Mikie was tired." "I'm fine, Mum." Mikie looked at her mother. "How are things looking?" "Fine! Its all set. Caterers, flowers, everything." "Small, Mum, I don't want the world and his mother invited. It's not fair on Ben." " I'm not going to invite anyone without your say so." Margaret smiled. "Okay! But I know you can get carried away, sometimes."
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Mikie hugged her mother. "Can I have some dinner sent up?" Margaret said as she turned to leave. "Yes, please." It was Ben who replied. He looked at Mikie. "Don't you make me an excuse for wanting a small wedding, lady. I've told you I want to tell the world that you're my wife." "I'm not yet. I know what's going to happen, we're gonna end up with some huge society bash and get lost in the crowd." She reluctantly remembered her wedding with Jeff. "Don't you think your parents are proud of you too? They want to show you off to their friends and I don't blame them." His face was lit with the love he felt for her. "Just go with it, you'll probably enjoy it." She looked at him, smiled and shook her head. "You're right, I'll get used to it."
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CHAPTER 7 The next few days were spent making final arrangements. Ben took up Margaret's offer to use the office. After working out the time difference he would work for two or three hours in the late afternoon and early evening. He would spend the rest of the day sitting in the library reading or walking through the extensive gardens. Ben felt very much at home at Millbank Hall away from the stress of the city he was used to. He was beginning to think that he would rather stay in England than go back to San Francisco. It was certainly a world away from his own upbringing in the run down apartment building in one of the poorer neighbourhoods of San Francisco. He had been born in Surrey, his mother being English and his father an American GI who was based near where his mother lived. The family moved when his father was posted back to the US. After leaving the army, his father worked long hours in a processing factory. His mother cleaned the local school. Although his parents were strict, Ben and his brother Matthew were happy. When his brother was killed in a motor cycle accident, the family changed forever. His mother withdrew into herself and his father became very quiet. When his mother was diagnosed with cancer at forty five, she did not fight it. Ben and his father were devastated and their relationship deteriorated. His father suffered a heart attack and died three years later. He wondered what his life would have been like, had he been brought up in England. Mikie joined him in the office on a couple of occasions but spent a lot of her time working in the Newcastle office. She was sitting at her big desk deep in conversation on the telephone to the London office when Ben arrived to take her to lunch. "Listen, Hen, I'll leave you to sort it out. I don't think it's too urgent, any problems let me know. I'll speak to you soon, bye!" Mikie replaced the receiver and beamed a smile at Ben.
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"Hello! What are you doing here?" "I thought that I might take you out to lunch." Ben replied, walking round the desk so he could kiss her. "You should have called first, I've got an appointment." Mikie sounded just as disappointed as Ben looked. "Oh well, it was just a thought. I'll find something else to do." He shrugged. "Come with me." Mikie suggested. "Isn't it a business lunch?" "No. It's a couple of friends from school, they won't mind. Anyway they're coming to the wedding." "Okay. If you're sure they won't mind." Lunch was spent with Jill Marshall and Alison Du Bret, both women worked in one of the large banks in Newcastle. "I'd like to know how you find these gorgeous American men, Mik." Jill said half way through the meal. "The same way you found your gorgeous husband." Mikie replied. "Mikie tells us you're in security Ben." Alison changed the subject to save Ben anymore embarrassment. "That's right. I'm hoping to open an office in England soon." Ben answered. "I'll remember you when we have our next review. The firm we deal with at present leave a lot to be desired!" Alison smiled. "Thanks. I'm sure Mikie will tell you when the office opens." "Will it be in London?" "Harry has offered me space here in Newcastle, I like it up here so I'm seriously thinking about it." The rest of the hour and a half was taken up with general conversation. Mikie and Ben walked the three quarters of a mile back to her office through the throng of the city shopping centre. It was a warm day and Ben felt more content than he had been for a
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long time. "When did dad offer you the office?" Mikie enquired. "Yesterday. He's trying to set up a meeting with a guy in London." "He's not mentioned it. It's a good idea, though. The people up here are loyal workers and Dad will be able to keep an eye on things for you." "Yep! That's what he said. I've asked him if he'll get things up and running for me." Ben felt very much at home with Harry. His relationship with his own father had been strained. Ben felt that his father thought of him as a poor second to his brother Matt, who had been killed in a motorcycle accident when Ben was young. He also thought his father blamed him in some way for his mother's illness. "I'm glad you two get on okay. He couldn't stand the sight of Jack. I'm not sure whether it was because he didn't like him or because he was married to me." "Probably because he didn't like him. He could be an arrogant bastard sometimes!" Ben said honestly, remembering his friend and business partner. Mikie was surprised at Ben's words. "I didn't think you'd ever admit to knowing that." "It's the truth, I told him often enough. Do you have to go back this afternoon?" He asked hopefully. "I do. I've got a meeting." She was suddenly aware there was reason for the question. "What's wrong?" "I miss you. I can't really do any work until after three. I even asked James if he needed any help this morning." "I bet that went down well. He'll be thinking that you think he's incapable of doing his job." "I was bored. I ended up sitting in the kitchen with Moira peeling vegetables." "Oh Ben, I'm so sorry! I didn't realise I'd been neglecting
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you so much." Mikie was being sarcastic. "You can be very sarcastic sometimes, Michaela Jordan!" "McKeon!" "What?" "McKeon! We're not married yet." Mikie laughed at him. "It feels like it. Caroline used to go off for weeks and leave me to fend for myself." Ben reflected. Mikie stopped walking and looked at him. She had met Caroline twice. The first time was at a charity fundraiser in aid of children's cancer research. Mikie had been invited by the Mayor of San Francisco and had not expected Ben to be there. Caroline was a tall, blonde, pretty woman, who seemed at ease with the celebrity company. She was dancing with Ben when Mikie saw her. When Ben spotted Mikie, he took Caroline to meet her. Even though they had been divorced for months, it was obvious that Caroline did not like the attention Ben gave to Mikie for the rest of the evening, as she made every attempt to knock into them as they danced. At the second meeting, Caroline told Mikie she was not good enough for Ben and that she thought Mikie was a gold digger. Even though she was tempted to, Mikie had not replied that the McKeon Corporation could buy Jordan Security a dozen times over. Ben had confided that part of the reason for his marriage to Caroline breaking down, was her obsession with travelling all over the world. He would be left alone for up to a month at a time, with not a telephone call or letter to let him know she was safe. "What did I say?" Ben did not realise that his words would upset her. "I'm not Caroline, Ben. I'm sorry, I should be spending more time with you." She said quietly. "I didn't mean that to come out the way it sounded. I
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haven't minded being left on my own really." "You're in a strange country with people you don't know, I didn't think Ben, I'm sorry!" "Stop apologising. I'm fine really. I've helped Mom with the wedding so everything is set for that. Today is the first day I've been bored." "Come and sit in on this meeting. Its three of the hotel managers. The figures have been dropping and I can't work out why. You may be able to help. "Sure! I don't mind that. It's a long time since I saw you in action." He smiled. "Hello Michaela!" The man standing in front of them was almost as tall as Ben, with dark hair and brown eyes. He was smiling at her. "Adam." She said, flatly. He was the last person she expected to see. As far as she knew he was in Hong Kong. She gripped Ben's hand a little harder and tensed up. "How are you? I don't usually see you in town." He sneered. "I'm late for a meeting." Mikie glared at him. "I'm sure whoever it is will wait for another five minutes!" "I really dont have time to talk, Adam." She said irritated. "Oh now Mikie! Surely you can spare a minute for an old flame?" His tone was patronising. "I have nothing to say to you Adam. If you'll excuse us, we have to go." She tugged at Ben's arm. "Well! It has been nice! Maybe we should go out for a drink one evening?" "I dont think so! I'm getting married soon." She scowled. "Yes! I'd heard that. Lucky chap, whoever he is. I guess I'll just go sit in a bar and mend my broken heart in whiskey." "Goodbye, Adam." she said, irritated, and started walking away from him.
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"I guess there's no chance of an invite to the wedding then?" Adam called after them. She turned and glared at him. "Leave me alone, Adam!" "Okay! Have it your way! Just remember where I am if it goes wrong again." he smiled, then walked off. "Who the hell is that!?" Ben asked. "Adam Carpenter." "Uh-hu! And I thought Jack was arrogant!" He observed. "He's a class A bastard!!" She spat Ben was shocked. He was also aware of how tense she was. "You can calm down now, he's gone!" "Sorry. I have a right to be angry." She smiled. "Come on, lets get back to the office." "When you decide to tell me about it, I'll listen." He said. The meeting started at two. "Thank you all for coming." Mikie smiled. "This is Ben Jordan, he's going to sit in." the others nodded. "Ben, this is Andrew Craven, David Stewart and Ann Garvin." Introductions out of the way, Mikie and Ben sat at the end of the long Boardroom table. She had called the three managers into the meeting because of a dramatic drop in figures over the last three months. She was suspicious of why there was such a change. As expected two of the managers blamed relief staff for the change. Unknown to all but herself, Mikie had asked Dave to audit the accounts of all the hotels in question. She picked up the phone in front of her. "Joan, can you bring me the personnel files for Alan Broadmont and John Hogarth, please? .Thanks!" Ben sat quiet. He was appraising each of the three managers. The only one he was unsure of was David Stewart. Mikie looked at him. "Coffee?" Ben appeared to ignore her. "Ben?"
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"Oh sorry! What?" He said. "Would you like some coffee?" "Yeah! Please." He was mentally weighing up the three people in the room. "Any one else?" "Not for me thanks." Andrew smiled. "I wouldn't mind." David said. "I'll get them." Ann stood up. "No, that's okay, Ann thank you. Ben and I will go." Mikie smiled. Ben followed her from the room into the kitchen next door. "Okay. Tell me." she said. "Andrew and Ann are lying. I'm not sure about David. I'll guess that the two they're talking about have worked for the company for about five minutes." he replied. "I dont recognise their names." "Of course I could be wrong. How much money are we talking about?" "About thirty thousand pounds." Ben thought for a moment. "That translates to what in dollars?" "About fifty thousand." "Yep! That's what I thought." As they spoke, Mikie poured the coffee. As they walked from the kitchen, Joan was coming down the corridor. "I would have brought that with me." The office manager said. "That's okay, Joan, we needed to talk. This is Ben." Mikie smiled. "Nice to meet you, at last, Ben! She does little else but talk about you." Joan gave Ben a beaming smile. "Here are the files you asked for." "Thanks, Joan." Ben returned her smile as he took the files.
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The Boardroom went quiet as they went back in. "We'll be able to get this sorted out now I have the files." Mikie announced. She took a quick look at the two files, pointing to a couple of things for Ben's benefit. "I think I'll have to get them up here and give them some retraining." "I tried that." David said. "Well, there's obviously something they're missing. I'll get them to come up anyway. If it's all on paper there won't be a problem. I'll get Harry to do an audit, that should give us more ideas." She said. "I'll let you all get back. Thanks for coming." The three managers left. "You realise they're gonna go back and rearrange things to cover it up?" Ben asked. "They can try. While they've been up here, Dave has been doing an audit for me. If they try a cover up, they'll fall flat on their faces." Ben folded his arms and smiled at her. "I forgot you're usually one step ahead of everyone." "Devious, Dad calls it. Lets get out of here." Following the audit, it was found that Andrew and Ann had been charging a lot to expenses. When they were asked to produce receipts, they were unable to. Both of them resigned.
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CHAPTER 8 Mikie took Ben south into the city of Durham and showed him round the cathedral. They stopped for tea in a little caf by the river. "Is life this slow all the time?" Ben asked. "There are some who would say it's not slow at all. But it's like this all the time, yes." "It's so beautiful here, I could get used to it." "We can stay here if you want. We don't have to go back to the States." "I do have to go back, Mikie. My whole life is there." Ben said, sounding a little disappointed. "I prefer to live in San Francisco. It's anonymous, no one knows who you are, so you can just get on with things. Here everyone knows the family. Everywhere I go I get privileges because of who I am. I hate it." Her voice was light and she sounded happy. "Do the kids have titles too?" "It's a bit complicated. Brett and Ali inherited titles from their father. Tara and Greg are 'Honourables', Dad can bequeath a title onto them and there is a possibility that they will gain titles from other family members. Henry, being the eldest son will inherit the title of Earl of Borders so Emma and Sarah have titles. Sons and daughters in law don't usually get titles. The problem will arise when Henry dies. Daughters cannot be Earls. If he has a grandson by then things will be okay. Otherwise he'll have to bequeath the title to another family male. Paul and Dave also have titles." "I'm pleased I asked!" Ben said ryely. "Now who's being sarcastic?" "I don't think I could cope with being a Lord somebody or other." "I don't think you would qualify anyway. The English class
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system doesn't allow any old riffraff in you know." Mikie laughed. "I'll remember that one. Not only does your butler think I'm the scum of the earth, but you think I'm riffraff. Maybe I should reconsider marrying you." "Will you please stop worrying about how James feels about you? He's hired help. His opinion counts for not very much." "I would be entitled to have a Title. You seem to have forgotten that I was born in Surrey." "Probably the only title you'll get is an honour for putting up with me." Mikie laughed. They left the caf and wandered round the shops for an hour. Ben had asked his secretary to send another couple of credit cards so he would have access to his own money. He had not brought a great deal of clothing with him so he needed to buy some more to keep him going. Mikie took him to big department stores and small men's wear specialists. She was happy to help him choose his clothes. He returned the favour when she decided she would like a particular dress that was on display in a store window. "What are we doing for dinner?" Ben asked after they had left the shop. "What do you want to do? We can go back home or go out somewhere." "I'd like to go out somewhere, if that's okay." Seizing the opportunity to have her to himself. "That's fine. I know a nice little place by the sea." Mikie found a payphone and called Millbank. "Hello, James! Ben and I are dining out this evening, will you tell Mother for me, please? . Thank you." Mikie took Ben to a pub-restaurant in the seaside town of Tynemouth. After their meal they walked along the sea front. "Happy?" Mikie asked Ben who was very quiet.
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"I'm glad you've relaxed again. I thought you were gonna explode this afternoon." The memory of the conversation with Adam still fresh in his mind. "Adam does that to me. I wish he would crawl back under the rock he came from." She could not hide her hate. "That bad?" He genuinely wanted to know. "Worse! I dont wanna talk about him." Her tone was flat and final. Ben changed the subject. "Harry has asked me to go to London with him for a couple of days." "Oh. Right." She suddenly thought about what she would do if he was not with her. "If its okay with you." Ben said. "Brett is coming too." "It's fine with me. I have some things I need to catch up with so you going with dad will help." Mikie hoped that she had hidden the twinge of sadness that was creeping up on her. "I'll stay here if you'd rather" "No, Ben really! You go, I'm fine. Just promise that you'll miss me." Ben took her in his arms. "Of course I'll miss you. It's only for two days." She insisted on going to the airport with them. Harry had given instructions to Gary Mason, the pilot in charge of the company jet. They were about to leave the terminal to board for the short flight. "I'll see you soon, Mum!" Brett had said kissing her cheek. "You just look after Ben for me." "Hey! I don't need looking after, I'm a big boy, Mikie. I can take care of myself!" He said defensively. "Just humour her, Ben or we'll never get on the plane." Harry interrupted. "I'll see you in two days, darlin'." Ben said and kissed her. The three men walked away. Mikie made her way to the
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gallery so she could watch the plane take off. It had disappeared into the distance when she finally turned round. "Albert, take me into Newcastle, please." She said as she climbed into the car. "Of course, miss!" Once in Newcastle she spent the day visiting the Company pubs and hotels. It was a sunny afternoon as she walked along the quayside. The Tugboat pub was fairly quiet when she went in. "Hello, Miss McKeon! We weren't expecting you!" Alex Davidson, the assistant manager said. "I like surprising people." Mikie smiled. They were deep in conversation when Mikie was suddenly aware that someone was standing behind her. "Hello Mikie!" Adam said. "Twice in a week. People will talk!" "Go away Adam! I'm busy!" Mikie said, flatly. "I'm sure Alex won't mind sparing you for ten minutes. Would you Alex?" Adam smiled. "That's okay with me. I have things to do!" Alex replied and turned away. Mikie glared at him as he walked off. "It is still lemonade in the afternoon? Isn't it?" Adam said putting the glass down in front of her. "Why can't you just leave me alone, Adam?" Mikie did not want to speak to him. "Because I love you. You know that. I'm sure if you give me a chance, you would be able to love me." His smile was menacing. Adam was a man used to getting what he wanted. He had met Mikie through a mutual friend and was so taken with her that he set about winning her affections. He took her out to dinner and the theatre and seemed to be getting somewhere. However, he was also obsessive and when she realised, she ended
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the relationship. "I'm getting married." She said, flatly. "Yes. But to the wrong man." He pleaded. "I would take care of you. You wouldn't have to work. Just stay home being pampered." "I like working. Anyway, Ben takes care of me." She was irritated by his words. "But, Mikie, remember the passion we shared. I bet Ben can't be as passionate as me." He leered at her. "You tried to rape me, Adam." She spat. "That wasn't passion. I should have pursued it and had you charged!" "One minor mistake. Are you going to hold that against me forever?" "Hardly minor. You hurt me, Adam, physically and mentally. For that I will never forgive you. Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do." She turned away from him. Adam glared at her. "You're going to be very sorry for turning me down, Michaela!" He stood and looked down on her. "One day you'll regret not letting me love you." He walked out of the pub leaving Mikie shaking. The memory was as vivid as if it had happened the previous evening. She had met Adam through a business acquaintance and had been to dinner with him on three occasions. On the third occasion it had been impossible to get a taxi and she had agreed to go back to his flat in Newcastle city centre to call Albert to come and collect her. She had recently returned to England after her break up with Jack and was not looking to get involved with anyone else so soon. Adam offered her coffee and asked if he could talk to her before she made the phone call. As she drank the coffee, she suddenly felt odd, dizzy and tired. Adam then tried to rape her, but she fought against him and knocked him unconscious. She escaped from the flat and ran two miles to where her brother
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David lived. She was pale and shaking when Alex returned. "Are you okay?" Alex asked, concerned. "No. You should have stayed! The last thing I needed was a conversation with him! " She wanted Ben to appear and put his arms round her. "I thought you and he were friends?" Alex was surprised. "We went out for a while. Then it turned nasty and he tried to rape me." "Oh god, Mikie, I'm sorry! I had no idea! I thought he was a decent sort." Horror was etched on his face. "Don't worry about it, Alex. Lots of people think he's decent." Mikie managed a smile. "Will you call me a taxi, please?" "I'll get my jacket and take you home myself. It's the least I can do."
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CHAPTER 9 Harry had arranged for Ben to meet Lord Alex Medford who had influence with the Board of Trade. The three men had lunch on Tuesday afternoon. "I'm all for bringing American firms into Britain, Ben. I'm not the biggest fan of Europe. I'm sure that we'll be able to help you." Alex Medford was average height and build, he was in his mid forties and had made his name in the public sector. "I'm very grateful, Alex. I was beginning to think twice about trying to get through all the red tape!" Ben said happily. "The Government have decided that we need stronger links with the U.S. so I don't think there'll be much of a problem getting the right paperwork. Are you staying in England long?" "Another two weeks or so. I've got a meeting with the State Governors department back home, so I need to be back for that. If there are any problems I'm sure Harry will be able to deal with them. I've asked him to set the office up for me." "There may be a partnership deal. If that will make things easier, Alex. I'm perfectly willing to help Ben in any way I can." Harry said. "I see! It could only help. I didn't realise you were considering that option." Alex was surprised by the suggested partnership. He hoped it might bring him a little closer to Mikie, although he doubted this. He still carried a torch for her. "Ben is marrying Michaela on Sunday, so it's like a family thing!" Harry smiled. "Ah! I see the picture now. How is Mikie? It's about two years since I spoke to her." "She's fine. Still overworking, she's left the wedding to Margaret and Ben to sort out. She sits locked in that office all day, plugging away at things." "I'm surprised that she hasn't burnt out by now." "Ben is a good influence, he drags her from behind her
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desk." Alex looked at Ben. "She must think a great deal of you to allow that, Ben. I could never do it!" Ben smiled at Alex. It had become obvious that Alex and Mikie had been together at some point. "Why don't you come up for the wedding? I'm sure Mikie would love to see you." Ben asked, politely. "Love to, old chap! Can't, unfortunately, I'm in Prague for a couple of weeks from tomorrow." Harry and Ben left Alex sitting in the restaurant. "Did I say the wrong thing to Alex?" Ben asked sounding worried. "In what way?" "When I invited him up for the wedding." "Mikie wouldnae thank ye for asking him. He's been on his best behaviour this afternoon, usually he's a pompous toad. Mikie cannae stand the sight of him!" "Oh!" Ben sounded puzzled. "They were together, but he was just using her. When she found out she was furious. They had a huge row in the drawing room back home. She told him in no uncertain terms that if she ever laid eyes on him again he'd be very sorry." "And I've just invited him to our wedding." Ben was regretting his words. "He won't come. He's not in Prague, he was being diplomatic. Don't worry, I won't say anything to Mikie. As much for my own sake as for yours. I would rather not be on the sharp side of her tongue." "She can be a bit hot headed, can't she? Thanks Harry. Is there a jewellers around here? I need to pick a couple of things up." Harry pointed Ben in the direction of Oxford Street. "Will you be able to find your way back to the hotel?"
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"Sure, I'll manage." Ben shook Harry's hand and went off to find a jewellers. "Good afternoon, Sir! May I be of assistance?" The woman was very smartly dressed, about five feet five tall, medium build, with short brown hair. Ben estimated that she would be about thirty. "Hi! I'm looking for something special for a lady." "Of course! What would you have in mind?" "I was thinking maybe a bracelet or a pendant." "Would you have any specific type in mind?" "Something that could be engraved with a message." Ben smiled at the woman. "Gold or silver?" "It would need to be white gold or platinum." "I have some in platinum, they are a little more expensive but I can show you something I think may be appropriate. Please take a seat and I'll get the items." The woman smiled, turned to a glass case hung on the wall and brought out a display tray. "This is what I was thinking." She showed Ben a round pendant with a small diamond nestling in the petals of a rose etched into the front. "Mmm! I like that. Would I be able to have it engraved this afternoon?" "Yes, of course! We have our own man who does that. I can have him do it immediately. The price for the pendant is one thousand two hundred, including chain. That would also include inscription." "Fine, do you take Amex?" "Oh yes! Of course." "I'd also like some other things for children. Two girls aged eight and fifteen and two boys the same ages." "Anything in particular?" "I was thinking of a talisman. Gold."
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"I'll bring them for you to see." Ben chose the talisman's while the pendant was being inscribed. The woman had been shocked by what Ben had written on the engraving order form. He left the shop an hour later, pleased with the surprise gifts for his, soon-to-be, family.
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CHAPTER 10 When Ben, Harry and Brett returned on Wednesday evening Mikie was waiting at the airport. Ben swept her into his arms and spun her round. Brett was leaning on his grandfather's shoulder. "Ain't love grand!?" "I'm glad it was only two days! God knows what they'd be like after a week!" Harry chuckled. "Or worse, a month!" Brett laughed. He was please his mother seemed happy. For the first time in years she was laughing and smiling. He was very relaxed and enjoyed Ben's company, viewing him as the father figure that had been lacking from his life. "Come on you two! People are looking!" Harry said to Ben and Mikie. "Don't care! Let them look!" Mikie said over Ben's shoulder. "I would like to get home sometime in the next four hours, I'm hungry!" Harry insisted. "All right, Dad. I get the message!" She said impatiently. Mikie and Ben followed the others to the car. "Harry introduced me to a guy who has some influence with the Board of Trade. I think that British office is looking better now." Ben said. "Good old Dad. He must like you. He doesn't pull strings for just anyone, you know?" Mikie said squeezing Ben's hand. They went to bed just after eleven. Mikie was still taking her make-up off and was chattering. Ben had already climbed into the bed and when she looked, was sound asleep. "So much for missing me." she said quietly, climbing in beside him. He instinctively put his arm around her shoulders as she snuggled close to him. She slept soundly, now she was back in
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his arms. She woke to find the bed empty. She looked in the bathroom which was empty. The sitting room was also empty. She was puzzled. She showered and dressed and went down to the breakfast room. It was five minutes passed eight. "Morning, Mikie!" Dave said. "Hi! Where is everyone?" "Still upstairs. Apart from your intended. He's out riding." "Is he?" she picked up a cup and filled it with tea. "How long has he been out?" "About an hour, I think. He was just finishing breakfast when I got here." James entered the room. "There's a call for Mr Jordan, miss." "Take a message, please James, he's out riding at the moment." Mikie was looking out of the window. "No I'm not! I'll take it, thanks James!" Ben was striding across the hall. James handed Ben the phone. "Hi!" "Thanks, Shirley, you're a doll! What would I do without you?" "That's fine" "It looks like you've got a rival, sis!" Dave smirked. "Mmmm! I'll find out later." Mikie was sitting looking through the open door to where Ben was having his telephone conversation. When he had finished she watched him walking towards her. He had a very satisfied look on his face. "I got the White House contract!" He said beaming. "Who is Shirley?" Mikie asked, trying not to sound jealous. Ben looked at her puzzled. "What?" "Shirley, who is she?" Ben smirked at her. "You're jealous!" "I'm not, I'm curious!"
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"So why have your eyes changed colour?" "It's an innocent enquiry." "She's a little old lady who does the typing in my office." Ben said. "She would need to be special, it's about midnight in San Francisco." Dave pointed out. "Stay out of it you!" Mikie said sharply, glaring at her brother. Ben had sat across the table from her and was leaning back in the chair with his arms folded across his chest. "I've been to London for two days without you and you're jealous of a phone call." "You haven't been on your own in London." She said pointedly. "I wasn't with Brett and Harry every minute either." "If this is gonna get ugly, I think I'll leave." Dave said standing up. "Stay and watch the fun, if you like, Dave." Ben said. "So now we're a side show? Go tell the rest of the house to come look!" Mikie was glaring at Ben. "I think it's cute." Ben returned. "I don't!" Mikie's temper was starting to fray. "All I did was ask an innocent question and you turn it in to something sordid." "I didn't turn it in to anything." his tone was still very light. "I would appreciate it if you would take it a little more seriously." "Why? What do you want me to say, that she's an ex centrefold down on her luck?" "That's not funny!" "You're jealous. Admit it!" he goaded. "Ooh! You're on shaky ground there, Ben! She won't admit to anything." Dave said. "I told you to keep out of it, Dave." Mikie said sharply.
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"Oh no. Trouble in paradise!" Margaret said as she walked into the room with Harry. "Ben took a phone call and now she's giving him the third degree." Dave informed his parents. "Good morning, Mom! Dad! It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Ben said brightly. Mikie picked up a rolled up newspaper from the table and threw it at him hitting him on the shoulder. "Michaela!" Harry looked at his daughter, horrified. "She's my P.A! I need someone to look after things while I'm here. I can't rely on Glen. She's been married for years and has two kids." Ben said. His expression had change to one that was more serious. Mikie just looked at him. Ben looked back. They sat and stared at each other for about thirty seconds. "I think, sis, you should apologise." Dave said quietly. "I don't!" Mikie hissed. "I'm sorry, darlin', I was joking!" it was Ben who apologised. "I would never have taken you for the jealous type." Mikie smiled at him. She did not need to speak, she just sat and looked into his eyes. They sat transfixed for a minute. What the other occupants of the room were not aware of was Mikie running her foot up the inside of Ben's calf. "I'm sorry! I'm not jealous, I just like to know things." Mikie said softly. "I should have told you." Ben replied. "Give me some tips on how to defuse explosive situations, Ben!" Dave said amazed. "If I could get Jean to calm down that quickly, I'd be on to something." "Any time you like, Dave. Just yell!" Ben said smugly. Later that morning they were in the conservatory having coffee with some of the family. "Can I ask you something?" Ben whispered in Mikie's ear.
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"Mmm.." She nodded. "It's just that Dave has been going on about a 'stag night', I'm not sure what he means." Ben has the image of a shot stag in his mind and of himself carrying the beast across a field, followed by the men in the family, who were chanting some ancient Gaelic rite. Mikie looked at him with horror on her face, this was her opportunity to get him back for earlier. "Dave! How could you?" She looked at the puzzled expression on her brother's face. "What've I done now?" Dave's voice boomed across the room. "You've terrified my fianc that's what!" She winked at him. "And how have I done that?" Her brother enquired. "With this talk of 'stag nights'!" "Oh that! It was meant as a joke, Mik, honest!" Dave, knowing his sisters sense of humour, joined in with the joke. "That was a bit unkind, David! After Ben had told you he'd help you too!" Margaret joined in. "I think you should apologise, Dave!" Harry said firmly. "But why? It was Paul's idea!" Dave was trying hard not to laugh. Ben was feeling very uncomfortable. He would not let his mind fill with the pictures his imagination was bringing forward. "Stag night's went out with bow and arrows, Dave! Paul I'm surprised at you!" Mikie found it hard to talk whilst biting her tongue. "I mean all that blood and gore!" Ben's face visibly paled. The room erupted in laughter and Ben was left sitting wondering why. When she managed to stop laughing, Mikie turned to him. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, we're joking, really! A stag night is a 'bachelor party'." "Ah! Right! Okay!" The relieved look on Ben's face set the
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room once again to laughter. Mikie spoke to the men in the room. "You lot just look after him! No stupid tricks, no taking him miles from anywhere and relieving him of most of his clothes. And NO getting him drunk!" Her voice was not as stern as it should have been to Ben's way of thinking. "I'll put Paul in charge, seeing as he's the most sensible among you all!" "Shouldn't that be Harry, darlin'?" Ben pleaded. "If Harry is in charge you'll probably end up chained to the monument in Trafalgar Square! Age does not always bring wisdom!" "I could take offence at that remark, Michaela!" Harry looked hurt by his daughters words. "But you won't, 'cause you know it's true!" Dave said digging his elbow into his fathers ribs. They had taken Ben to the Fox, on Friday evening, and had spent the night giving him manly advice about marriage. Mikie's 'hen party' was held with the female members of the family and some friends who gave their version of the same advice. Mikie decided to go into Newcastle for a meal and then to a club. "If we go to the 'Big River' we can go on to 'Armondo's' afterwards." Stella, Henry's wife suggested. "I don't mind, anywhere." Mikie replied. Margaret declined the invitation to join them. "You don't need to drag me along with you I'll stay here with the children." There were a dozen or so ladies who descended on the 'Big River' restaurant. Mikie, her sisters-in-law Stella, Jan, and Jean and some friends with whom Mikie had gone to school. They finished their meal and went on to 'Armondo's' at about nine o'clock. The club was fairly quiet so they were able to find a table that would seat all of them. As the evening drew on the club became more crowded. The girls were drinking a fair amount
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and were rather tipsy by eleven o'clock. A few of them were dancing on the crowded floor. Mikie was feeling very happy. She was thinking about Ben and how he would be the subject of lots of advice from the men of the family. "I'll be back in a minute!" Mikie shouted over the noise of the loud disco music. She left the group on the dance floor and headed in the direction of the ladies room. When she emerged she walked straight into Adam Carpenter. "Hello, Mikie! How are you?" Adam said, smiling. "We really should stop meeting like this. I mean, what will Ben think?" "Hello Adam. I'm fine thank you." Mikie tried to walk passed him. Adam blocked her way. "Out with the girls are we?" "I am. As if it were any business of yours." Mikie, again, tried to walk back into the room. "Can I buy you a drink, for old time sake?" "No thanks I've got one. I really do have to get back, Adam. The girls will be wandering where I am." "What's the hurry? The club doesn't close till three, it's not even midnight yet. One drink, what harm would it do?" He was leering at her "I don't want a drink from you, thanks. Now please let me passed." She glared at him. Adam stood to one side and let Mikie go back to her group. His mind was working overtime. He would have her, if it was the last thing he did. "Are you all right?" Jean asked concerned that Mikie had been so long. "I'm fine, I just bumped into Adam. I think it would be best if we leave." Mikie was shaking. Why would he not leave her alone? The last place she wanted to be on her Hen Night was in the same club as him.
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"Let's go to Mikie's!" Jean suggested. "The boys will look after us there!" The Boys, Jean was referring to were staff employed by the company who knew all the family well. Even though 'Armondo's' was a company club, the staff changed frequently so they did not know who the girls were. Stella summoned taxi's to take the group across the city centre to 'Mikie's', they arrived shortly after midnight. "Well! Hello girls! Family party?" Craig Jackson, the manager, was an athletically built, six footer who did his job well. "Mikie's Hen Night!" Stella informed him. "Congratulations! Who's the lucky man?" "He's American. Worked with Jack." "Oh! Right!" Craig did not like Jack either, he had stopped him from causing a scene when Mikie had brought him to the club. "Well you all just have a good time, I'll have a word with the bar staff, don't pay for anything." "Don't let my father know you're squandering the profits, he'll sack you!" Mikie said smiling at him. "I won't if you don't!" Craig winked and went off towards the bar. The girls were guided to a large table by one of the door staff and settled back into enjoying the evening. Just after one o'clock, Mikie again bumped into Adam Carpenter. "What are you doing here, Adam?" she asked angrily. "I paid my entrance fee, it's a free country. I would still like to buy you that drink." Adam was grinning, menacingly at her. "Leave me alone Adam. I told you I dont want a drink from you." "I can't see what harm a drink between friends is?" "I'm not your friend. Go away, Adam or I'll have you thrown out." She was more irritated. "Oh, yes! I'd forgotten! Daddy named this club after his
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favourite little girl. Isn't that nice?" His voice was filled with disdain. "Is this guy bothering you, ma'am?" Ben's distinctive voice came from behind Mikie. She spun round. "Yes. He is!" "Leave the lady alone!" Ben said flatly. "Stay out of it, Yank! It's none of your business." Adam glared at Ben, he did not recognise him. "Well you see, where I come from when a lady says no, she means NO! So if I were you I'd leave her alone!" Ben's flat tone made no impact on Adam. "And what are you gonna do if I don't?" Adam challenged. "Nothing! But I will!" As Dave spoke the colour drained from Adam's face. Adam knew that Dave was aware of what had happened. He walked back into the main room. Mikie had fallen into Ben's arms. "It's okay, darlin', I'm here!" He said softly. "Can't let you out of my sight for a couple of hours before you get into trouble, can I?" "Thanks, Ben, Dave. He followed me." Mikie said. "If he bother's you any more, sis, you just let me know." Dave said. They went back to the group of ladies who had now been joined by most of the men folk. Harry had decided to go home. Champaign had appeared on the table and everyone was chatting happily. "Would, the soon to be Mrs Jordan, like to dance?" Ben said to Mikie. She smiled at him. They danced for twenty minutes. Adam Carpenter was watching from the corner of the room. He asked a young woman to dance with him and moved his way closer and closer to Mikie and Ben.
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"You won't mind if I but in, will you pal?" Adam said to Ben. "Well, you see, I have a big problem with morons trying to dance with my lady. Pal!" Ben glared at him. "A lady is the last thing she is!" He said menacingly. Ben's temper snapped. He took hold of Adam by the shirt collar and was about to punch him when Craig grabbed a hold of him. "There won't be any need for that, Mr Jordan. I'll sort this scumbag out!" he looked at Adam. "You're barred! If I see your face here again I'll have you arrested for trespass. That goes for the rest of the clubs." Craig had a couple of security staff with him and they took hold of Adam and threw him out into the street. "Thanks Craig." Mikie said. "It's my job, Miss McKeon. Jean told me to look out for you." Craig smiled. It was nearly three when they all climbed into taxi's and headed back to Millbank Hall. Mikie tried her best not to wake Ben as she slipped out of the bed at eight thirty. "Good morning." He whispered, without opening his eyes. "I'm sorry. I thought you were still asleep." She sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't wanna open my eyes cause they hurt." He sounded in pain. "Uh-hu! so I guess you had a good time." Her voice was getting louder. "Mik, don't shout, please." "Oooh, has Ben got a sore head?" "Yes Ben does have a sore head." He pulled a pillow over his face. Mikie tugged the pillow from his hands. "Want an aspirin?" "Just a new head."
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She leaned over and kissed his forehead. Before she knew what was happening, Ben pulled her to him. "That got the result I was hoping for." The grin stretched across his face. "Ben Jordan. You fraud!" She wriggled to get out of his grasp, but she could not. "You'll find out that I know my limits in most things." He kissed her. "When it comes to alcohol, I know exactly when to stop!" His eyes were gleaming with pleasure. "Besides, I can't disappoint my girl, can I?" "That was wicked. I was worried!" She had been worried. "But isn't this how you want it to be always?" She had no argument against his statement, so she melted into his body as he kissed her. CHAPTER 11 June 24th, the day of the wedding, dawned with brilliant sunshine. Mikie had spent most of the night in Ben's room but was now in her own bathroom putting the finishing touches to her make up and worrying that she had chosen the wrong dress. Ali was sitting on the bed talking through the open door. "He'll be knocked out by it, Mum, believe me. Anyway its a bit late to think of that now!" Ali was trying to convince her mother that the dress she had chosen was perfect. "I'm nervous! Heaven knows why. The last time I was this bad I was marrying your father." "And now you're doing the same thing." Ali smiled. At last Ali knew her mother had found a man who would do his best to protect them all. She had seen photos of her own father, Jeff and her mother told her and Brett endless stories about him, but she did not know him. He had never been there for her and she had relied on her grandfather and uncles for male support. She knew her grandfather doted on her, but she had still missed having her father around. Especially when she was
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afraid. Now she had Ben, who had accepted them all as his family and she was happy and content. "I'm not sure what you mean, Ali." "I mean that Ben is our father now and I'm really happy about it. So are the others." "He is special, isn't he?" "We think he's great, Mum. Without wanting to upset you, he's better than Jack." "I know." "Ben is much easier to talk to than Jack and I'll be glad to say he's my father to anyone who cares to ask." Ali had found a father she would be able to talk to. Someone who would be able to chase away her demons. Mikie was looking at her daughter and was fighting back the tears that threatened to ruin her make up. "Thanks, Ali. I needed to hear that. I thought I was being selfish marrying Ben, but now I know that you're all happy, then I'm glad." "Sometimes its good to be selfish, Mum, we just want you to be happy." Mikie hugged her. She remembered Jeff. How proud she had been standing next to him at the alter in the small Chapel. How deliriously happy she had been the first time she heard him saying 'My wife and I!' And how devastated she was when she lost him. She remembered Ali and Brett as babies. The joy and sorrow they had given her. It had been a struggle to comprehend that she had lost her young husband, but had two babies to bring up. She remembered, vividly, the thought that she would never be able to forget the date of his death, as it was the day her children had been born. This was to be a great comfort and sadness to her over the years. She was immensely proud of all her children, but Ali and Brett were a little more special than their younger siblings. She often wondered how they had turned out so well, without the influence of their father. She was very
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grateful to her parents, her brothers and Jeff's brother and sister, for the help they had given her over the years. Now she looked at Ali, the young woman who was telling her it was 'okay to be selfish' and have someone to share her life with again. When she had woken she felt strange. Happy and sad. Contented and confused. Ali had now given her the permission she thought she needed from her children. She was suddenly snapped back to the moment by the knock on the door. "Mikie! You've locked the door!" Ben shouted from outside the room. Mikie stood inside the locked door. "Of course I have. You can't come in!" "Are you serious? Why not?" "Because it's our wedding day. Fool!" . "Mikie!" Ben was pleading. "You've spent most of the night in my bed!" "Let him in, Mum, you're not dressed yet." Ali said. Mikie opened the door. "Good morning, soon-to-be-Daddy!" Ali stood on her toes and kissed Ben's cheek. "I'll be back in twenty minutes, Mum!" She walked off down the hall. "You're not supposed to be here." Mikie chastised Ben. "You expect me to wait two hours for my morning kiss? Think again." He put his arms round her. "You smudge my make up and you'll be sorry." "You can do it again. Are you going to kiss me voluntarily or do I have to take one?" She gave in to him and he picked her up, carried her to the sofa where he sat down with her still in his arms. "You smell like roses." He whispered. "You need a shave." "Gee thanks! Here I am being romantic and you criticise." He had a hurt look on his face.
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"Well, you do. I can't change fact." "Have you had breakfast?" "Yes. Have you?" "Sort of." At that precise moment he wanted to carry her into the bedroom and make love to her. She looked into his eyes. "Forget it, Ben. No!" "What?" "Don't play the innocent with me. No!" "I was thinking that maybe we could share a piece of toast. That's innocent, isn't it?" He grinned. "That's a new word for what you're thinking." "Its breakfast. I've only had coffee." Tara came bursting through the door with Greg just behind her. "Tara! Greg!" Mikie shouted. "Oh! Sorry! Are we interrupting? We were looking for Ben." Tara was breathless. "We need to give you something." She looked at Ben with expectation, hopping from one foot to the other. Mikie started to say something but Ben put his hand over her mouth. "I guess I'll have to come look then." He kissed Mikie and put her down. "They're excited! Don't tell them off. Not today." He walked off after Tara who was chattering at him. He followed the little girl into his room where he found a small black box on top of an envelope. "Will you wear it today, Ben?" Greg asked expectantly. "Let me see it first." The box contained a gold ring with the initials BTJ engraved on the front. "I hope it fits." He set on the ring finger of his right hand. "There what do you think?" "Perfect!" Tara shouted with joy. "Open your card then!" Tara and Greg had hand made his birthday card. "Do you know that's the best card I've ever been given. And
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I'd forgotten it's my birthday." "We don't forget, do we Ben?" Greg was looking at Ben with a big, satisfied smile on his face. "I'm glad I can rely on you two to remind me of important things, Greg." Ben patted the little boy on the head. "People are coming already. We have to go and get changed. It's not everyday that you get to be bridesmaid at your parents wedding. Come on , Greg!" Tara said, excited. Before Ben could say anything they ran out of the room. Ben thought about her words. Did she really accept him as her father? How did the others feel? He remembered Ali's greeting. Brett he was not sure about. He had accepted his new family without much thought to any of them accepting him. He just hoped that they would give him a fair chance. During his long journey to find Mikie, he had contemplated asking her to marry him, but had not given any thought to the effect it would have on the children. He knew little of Ali and Brett, but had watched Tara and Greg grow up. He realised that he missed the children as much as he missed Mikie, when ever they left San Francisco to return to England. Now here he was about to be married and he would not need to miss them again. "What I wouldn't give to be where you are at this minute." Mikie was holding a tray. "You said you were hungry." "The kids bought me this." He showed the ring to Mikie. "Mmm.. I know." she smiled. "I'm not hungry really. I needed to see your face." He spoke quietly and sounded like he was far away. "I know that too. Are you all right?" He grinned at her "Yep! Fine!" "You said two hours. Its only three quarters of an hour. I thought I'd better put you right." "Two hours for what?" "You asked if I expected you to wait two hours for your
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morning kiss. Its only forty-five minutes." "Oh! Right! Is it?" He looked at his watch and realised it was showing the wrong time. "I'd better get a move on!" He rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. When he had showered and shaved, he dressed in the morning suit that Mikie had helped him to choose. He was tying his shoelaces when Brett knocked on the door. "Come in!" Ben shouted. "Ready?" Brett looked every inch the young society gent that he was. "Yep! How do I look?" "Great! It's time we were down there. Thanks for the talisman, did the kids give you your birthday present? Ben held up his hand. "They did, it's great!" Ben extended his hand to his new son and best man. "Thanks, Brett. Have you got the rings?" "Rings? What rings?" Brett looked puzzled. "What? Rings! Brett?" "Oh! Do you mean these?" He pulled his hand from his pocked and produced a small box. "Very funny!" "Sorry, couldn't resist that one." The young man grinned. "Before we go downstairs, I have to say something." Ben took a deep breath and suddenly felt anxious. "I just want to thank you for making mum smile again. She's had a pretty rough deal over the years and she deserves to be happy." "I want to make her happy, Brett. I want to make you all happy and keep you all safe." Ben voiced his feelings. "I hope I can be a father to all of you. If I get it wrong, you'll tell me, won't you?" "Sure we will. I'm glad your gonna be our dad, so are the others. I suppose we haven't really thought about us, over the
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years. Ali and I have only ever thought of mum. I guess over the last few weeks, we've realised that your going to be there for us too." "All my life, I've wanted a family. I admit that I wasn't contemplating a ready made one, but I'm so happy that I've got you all. Your mom is so proud of all of you and so am I. just let me know if you ever need anything." He bit his lip to stop the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes. Brett hugged him. "Come on! They'll be thinking you've escaped and send a posse out to look for you." They went down into the Chapel. Ben estimated at least a hundred people some of whom were standing in the small building. Brett guided him to the front of the aisle where he sat and waited for his bride. "Nervous?" Brett asked him. Ben nodded. "I've been in the company of Presidents, politicians and royalty and I've never been this nervous." "You'll be fine! This is your last chance to back out, Ben, She's coming!" Ben looked at Brett and then stood and turned to see Mikie walking down the aisle of the Chapel towards him on the arm of her, very proud, father. She looked like an angel. She was wearing a silver/blue gown which reached her ankles. Her hair was piled on top of her head with a diamond tiara placed in the front and small flowers sprinkled around. She was smiling broadly. Ali and Tara were following behind, they looked beautiful in their pale blue dresses. They were wearing the talismans so everyone could see them. Ben looked at all of his ladies and beamed with pride. Greg was standing near to Brett having helped to show everyone to their seats. The ceremony was conducted by Rev Kersey, the vicar from the church in Millham Village. After the formal vows had been
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said the vicar turned to the guests "Bennett and Michaela want to say something to each other." Ben looked deep into Mikie's eyes. "I love you, Mikie. I have from the moment we met. Whatever happens in our life, I'll always love you, respect you and take care of you. I'm the happiest man in the world at this minute. Not only have I gained a beautiful wife but four fantastic kids too. I love you forever." "I love you too Ben, I never thought I would feel like this about anyone. I'll love you and take care of you always, Ben. You're the best friend I've ever had and I hope I can make you as happy as I am right now." Mikie's smile lit her face. After the ceremony there was lunch, dancing and the champagne seemed to flow endlessly. The speeches were started by Brett. "Can I have your attention, ladies and gentlemen, please?" He waited for quiet. "I'd like to say, on behalf of my mother and new husband, thank you all for coming to join us for this special day! I know it was rather short notice, but, contrary to popular belief, I don't think Granddad needed the use of his shotgun!" There was an eruption of laughter. Mikie was embarrassed. "Thank you! I would just like to say, from us kids, that we welcome Ben into our family not only as Mum's new husband but also as our new father. We're really grateful that you've made Mum so happy Ben." Applause. "I know Granddad wants to say something." Brett sat down. "Thank you, Brett! I'd just like to say that her mother and I hope that Michaela and Ben will be very happy! She's been through a lot in her life, but we know that she's in safe hands with Ben." More applause. Harry sat down. Ben stood up. "I'm not one for long speeches, so I'll be brief! Thank you all for your presence and your kind thoughts. I let Mikie slip through my fingers once before, but now she's mine
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and I'm the happiest man in the world!" More applause. "I'd like to thank Brett, Alesha, Greg and Tamara for making me so welcome. Harry, Margaret, I'd like to thank you for trusting me with your daughter, I'll do my best by her and the kids, I promise! This is the best birthday I've ever had." Mikie stood next to him and he kissed her to the applause from the guests. The idyllic day ended when Mikie and Ben were whisked away at seven thirty to spend the night in a hotel in the seaside town of Whitley Bay. "Mr and Mrs Jordan? Welcome! Your room is prepared and waiting! Please sign here, sir!" The young woman was smiling at Ben and Mikie as they approached the reception desk. "I suppose I'll have to get used to that!" Mikie squeezed Ben's hand. "What?" "Being Mrs Jordan." The bridal suite was slightly larger than Mikie's room at home. She went into the bedroom and checked out the bathroom while Ben opened the champagne that was chilling in the sitting room. "Good old Dad! it's great!" She smiled. "Dad? Is that who you think arranged this?" Ben looked hurt. "Didn't he?" "No. I did." "You did. Well good old Ben then! Well done!" He held out a glass to her. Instead of taking it she shook her head. "I've had enough thanks." "Okay! Whatever you want." "What I want right now is to go for a walk." "Sure, if that's what you feel like doing that's fine with me. Want me to come?" Ben was teasing her.
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"Of course I want you to come. Who knows what sort of trouble you'd get into, left here on your own!" "Not as much trouble as I'd get into with you here." He grinned. "There's plenty of time for that, later. Come on!" They walked along the promenade at Whitley Bay. The evening was warm and as they strolled along they made small talk for a few minutes, then just walked. Happy to be with each other. There were crowds of people walking along all enjoying the weather. Mikie and Ben seemed not to notice any of them. They came across a small bar that was not too crowded. "Let's go in here, I could do with a sit down." Mikie said. "It's been quite a day, so far, hasn't it?" He kissed the top of her head. After buying two glasses of lemonade, they chose a small table by the window. "I love you. If I never remember anything, ever again, I'll remember the moment when you said 'I will'" Ben was looking directly into her eyes. She smiled at him, but said nothing. As they walked back to the hotel the evening was starting to fade and Mikie shivered and fastened the jacket she was wearing. Like the true gentleman Ben was, he removed his jacket and put it round her shoulders. "I'll call a cab, if you like." He said to her. "No. It's only five minutes away. I'm fine." They walked the rest of the way in silence. They decided to have dinner in the hotel restaurant. It was ten fifteen when they returned to their room. "I think I might have that champagne now." "I'll send down for more, this is probably flat." Mikie left Ben talking on the telephone to room service. He had his back to the bedroom door so he was surprised when he
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turned to see where she was. "Wow! Oh my lord! I'm speechless!" He really was lost for words. She was wearing the briefest lingerie, a pale lemon body suit, with lace cut high on the hips and low at the top. Ben stared at her. "Wow!" He stood with his mouth open as she walked towards him. "I guess you like it then!" She smiled. "I like it!" He wrapped her in his arms and they stood for at least five minutes until there was a knock at the door. He still did not let go. Another knock, louder. "Aren't you gonna open that?" She looked up into his face. "What? Oh, the door!" He let her go, reluctantly and walked to the door which he half opened. "Room service, sir!" "Yeah! Right! I'll take it from here thanks!" Ben pushed a twenty pound note into the hand of the young man. "Of course! Thank you, sir!" Ben turned back to Mikie. "Where were we?" "Bad sign! Losing your memory already!" She teased. "No! I just don't like being interrupted! Come 'ere!" "Open the bottle first." Champagne poured Ben had sat on the big sofa and Mikie had curled herself beside him. He reached into the pocket of his waistcoat and pulled out a small box. "I bought you this when I was in London." Mikie opened the box to find the rose-pendant. "It's lovely! Ben, you didn't need to!" "Read it." He whispered. "What?" "Read the inscription on the back."
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'To my darling harlot, love you always! Ben.' Mikie read the words out loud. "Ben! I don't know what to say!" "Thank you would seem appropriate!" Ben smiled. "Thank you seems inadequate! But thanks, anyway." She kissed him. "I wasn't sure what to get you for your birthday so when I see something appropriate I'll get it." "You already gave me my birthday present." Mikie was puzzled. "No I haven't." "You have. You!" "You deserve much more than just me. I'd give you the moon on a plate if I could." "You're all I'll ever need or want. I love you." "I don't wanna go to bed, 'cause I don't want the day to end." Mikie purred. "I know. Me too! Are you happy?" Ben said, wistfully. "Mmmm I don't think there's ever been a time when I've been happier than this." She said honestly. "I know Brett made the shotgun joke, but I didn't rush you, did I?" "Yes! But only 'cause I wanted to be rushed." "I love you so much. I don't wanna be apart from you, ever." "What makes you think there'll ever be a time when we're apart?" "Oh, I don't know. Things happen, things change." He was drifting to a place he did not want to go. "You think I'll get bored with you?" "No its not that. Its just that." "You're having second thoughts?" "No! No, I'm not. I just well I " "Ben, I'm not Caroline, I won't ever hurt you. You have to believe me." She was kneeling beside him. "I'm just being stupid. Ignore it!" She took his face in her hands. "No. I won't ignore it. I love
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you. With every part of me. Every ounce of my being. I'll never hurt you, Ben. Never." she kissed him. "I guess I'll have to get used to dealing with these feelings I've got. I'm not used to giving every part of me to someone who does the same in return. I love you!" The night stretched on until nearly five o'clock. It was like the first love they had ever made together. The heights of their lovemaking took them far beyond what they had felt before. They woke just after nine. "Hi!" Ben whispered. "Hi!" She smiled. "Do you want breakfast? I can get some sent up." "No. That would mean moving." She had already tried to move, but was aware of a muscle spasm in her back, which made any movement nearly impossible. "Yeah?" "I can't." "What d'you mean, you can't?" "I mean my back locked and I can't move." Ben tried to take his arm from under her, but she winced in pain. "What can I do?" "Not much, we'll just have to wait." "How long?" "Don't know. Ten minutes, an hour, all day. Who knows." "Mikie, darling, I hate to say this but I really do need to get out of bed." "Okay, so just take it slow." He was as gentle as he could possibly be. "Do you want me to get help?" his voice was full of concern. "No. Just rub my back and it might just click into place." She guided him to the right spot and within five minutes she was able to move again.
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"Thanks, darling, that's better than any doctor could do." She said gratefully. "No problem! Are you all right?" "Yeah. Fine. I think this bed is too soft. I'll be glad to get home tonight." Her bed at home was much more supportive. "There may be a problem with that." he said sheepishly. "Problem?" "Yeah, we're not going home. Not for a few days, anyway." "Oh! And where are we going?" She expected some exotic location. "Edinbro!" "Edinburgh! Why Edinburgh?" "It's somewhere I've always wanted to see." He shrugged. "Edinburgh it is then. When do we leave?" She did not mind one bit. "There's a train from Newcastle at eleven. D'you think we'll make it?" "Sure! We'll skip breakfast and have lunch when we get there." They shared a shower. Mikie dressed while Ben shaved, then she packed their few clothes into the small suitcase. The receptionist had prepared the bill and Ben paid it while Mikie asked the doorman to get a taxi for them. They made it to the station with five minutes to spare. Once in Edinburgh they spent the day doing the tourist bit seeing all the land marks and historic buildings.
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CHAPTER 12 The wedding party had gone on well after midnight. The following morning the staff were occupied tidying up in the garden all the children were involved in a game of hide and seek. They ran through the gardens and the house looking for each other. Brett was the last to be still hiding. "He's far too good at this game!" Ali said to her young cousin Alice. "One last place then we'll give up!" The two girls were walking down the back stairs towards the kitchen. Ali stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh! No! Get Granddad, Alice, quick!" Brett was lying at the bottom of the stairs that led into the kitchen. Ali knelt down on the floor beside him and stroked his head. "It'll be all right, Brett. We'll get you sorted." For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was frightened. All she could think about was losing her brother. They had always been close, not like some of her friends and their siblings. She could talk to Brett, because he knew how she felt. Just as she knew how Brett felt. Perhaps it was because they were twins and shared that special something that only twins can. She spoke softly to him while she waited. Within minutes Harry, Paul, Margaret and Alice were in the stair well. "We found him lying here. He's not moving , Uncle Paul." Ali looked pale and worried. "Now, Alesha, darling, you just come out of the way and let Paul see!" Margaret helped Ali from the floor. Brett was taken to Newcastle General Hospital, along with Harry, Margaret and Ali. It was almost two in the morning when Mikie and Ben got back to the Royal Station Hotel. "Mr and Mrs Jordan?" The gentleman at the reception desk was looking concerned.
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"Yes! That's right!" Mikie said brightly. "I have a message from Laird McKeon, ma'am!" His voice was soft with the unmistakable, highland accent. He held out a piece of paper to Mikie. She read it quickly. "Oh Ben! We have to get home!" "Is there anything I can do?" The man at the desk was looking more concerned. "What is it?" Ben said. "It's Brett! Apparently he fell down the kitchen stairs. Oh, Ben! I have to go!" "Of course we do!" Ben turned to the receptionist. "What is the quickest way back to Newcastle?" "At this time of night, road, Sir! Laird McKeon sent his driver, sir." "Thank you! The bill?" "Oh, no sir! It has already been taken care of! Laird McKeon, when he called, sir!" "Good old Harry! We have luggage." "It's waiting in the car." "Thank you! You've been most kind!" Mikie shook his hand. "Have a safe journey and I hope everything will be well!" Mikie spent the whole journey rigid with worry. Brett had always been so healthy. He had missed out on most of the usual childhood illnesses that Ali had caught. He was very fit from participating in a lot of sport. Mikie could only remember the time when he was about five years old and he contracted chicken pox. He had suffered for nearly two weeks, while Ali got over it in five days. "He'll be fine, darling. He's in good hands." Ben hugged her all the way. Newcastle General Hospital was a stark, Victorian building. The roadways were narrow and dark. Albert stopped at the main
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entrance. Ben helped Mikie out of the car. The two went into the hospital and were directed to the ward where they would find Brett. In the corridor outside his room Ali sat, ashen faced, with her Grandparents. "Oh, Mum!" she jumped up and ran into her mothers arms. "He's been unconscious all the time! He just won't wake up!" She sobbed. "Shhh! I'm sure he'll be fine!" Mikie was looking at her parents. "Simon has been in to see him. We're waiting for test results." Mikie released her daughter and went into the room. Brett was covered in wires, there were several machines blinking and bleeping. The nurse who was checking the equipment spoke quietly to them. "It's not as bad as it looks. The monitors are just for vitals. I'll turn the sound down if they bother you." "No. I'm fine." Mikie smiled. She sat on the chair by the bed and took hold of her son's hand. Ben stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. He was silently praying that Brett would pull through. The thought of losing him terrified Ben more than living through the horrors of war. He watched his new son's face, trying to see the slightest change that would show any improvement in his condition. Mikie held Brett's hand tightly and also prayed. The knot in the pit of her stomach seemed to be getting bigger. Her whole body was tense with fear. She couldn't lose him, he looked so much like his father that she thought if she lost him, she would lose the last trace of Jeff she had. They stayed in the room for fifteen minutes and then left the nurse to her duties. Outside she crumbled into Ben's arms. "He's young and strong, Mikie, he'll be fine." He said, unconvincingly.
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"He looks so small and vulnerable, Ben. Like he did when he was a little boy." She could not hide her fear. "But he's not a little boy any more, sweetheart. He's a young man. He's strong and he's a fighter. He'll pull through." The door opened behind them. "I think you'd better come back in." The nurse had put her head round the door. Mikie wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Ben gave her and took a deep breath. Back at Brett's bedside, he lay smiling up at his mother and Ben. "Whoa! I've got a corker of a headache, Mum." "As well you should have." Mikie said, softly. "Apart from that, how are you?" "I'm okay. I think." "Ah! I see you've decided to come join us in the real world again. How are you feeling?" Professor Simon Jones stood at the other side of the bed. "My head hurts." Brett replied. "Is that all?" "I don't know. I can't feel anything from about here." Brett indicated halfway down his chest. "That's how its supposed to be. Don't worry." Simon smiled at him broadly. "Michaela, may I have a word?" "Sure." Mikie said. "I'll be back shortly, Brett." Outside the room Simon Jones looked from Mikie to Ben. "I'm not going to bullshit, I'm worried. Very worried. I was expecting him to have some loss of sensation in his legs but not from where he said." "What are you saying?" The knot in her stomach twisted. "I'm saying that it may be surgery." "For what?" Ben asked. "It may be nothing, just swelling. Or it may be a bleed or a
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blood-clot. The tests should be back any minute." "He is going to be okay, though?" Mikie was more confused. "I'm sure he'll be fine. He's young, fit and healthy, he'll come through this. Besides he's got you for a mother." Simon's tone was reassuring The test results showed a blood-clot and Brett underwent the surgery to have it removed. Mikie refused to leave the hospital until she was sure Brett would be fine. She was sitting with Ben in the cafeteria drinking tea three days later. "Mikie something has come up and I need to get back. I don't want to go but if I don't sort this out there'll be no business to go back to." Every inch of him wanted to say he did not care about the business, but he had worked hard for the last twenty years to build it. "It's all right, Ben, I understand. You go and I'll bring the kids when Brett can travel." Mikie wanted him to stay. But she was also practical and knew he had to go. "If there was any other way. I don't want to leave you to deal with this on your own. I want to be here for Brett just as much as for you." He knew he would worry until they were all back together. "I know, Ben. We'll be fine. You're right, you do need to get back. It's okay." "It's not okay. I don't want to leave, I don't have a choice. I hate being put in a corner." "Ben, please you need to go. I'll bring the kids in a couple of weeks. It's okay." She held his hand tightly. "If you need me I'll be on the first plane back here, promise." "I'll manage." Ben was booked on a flight the following day. He had to take a shuttle flight to London's Gatwick Airport. Mikie went to Newcastle Airport with him.
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"I really don't want to do this. I want to stay here with you and the kids." he was fighting back tears. "Don't make it harder, Ben, please. Just promise me one thing." She smiled. "Anything." "That you'll miss me just as much as I'm gonna miss you." He said nothing, just hugged her. Tara and Greg were standing watching with tears streaming down their faces. A security guard came to speak to them. "Are you all right, kids?" He sat down on his heals and held Tara's hand. "Yes. My Daddy has to go back home and I don't think I can get by without him." Tara sobbed. Ben heard her. "Tara, sweetheart, I thought you understood? Its only for a couple of weeks and then you'll be coming too." "I know, Dad but Jack didn't come back for me. Did he?" the little girl was terrified that if Ben got on the plane she would not see him again. Ben scooped her into his arms and held her close to him. "I'm not Jack, I'm Ben. I'm not sick like Jack was. It'll fly over quick, really it will. Anyway you have to look after Mommy for me, till Brett gets better." "It's not fair, I don't want to look after Mummy, that's your job." "I know. But I have to do this, darlin', you know that." Tara nodded. The public address system announced the final call for the shuttle flight. "I have to go." Ben whispered to Tara and put her down. He looked at Mikie and touched her face. Then he turned, picked up his briefcase and walked towards the door that lead to the departure gate. He walked without looking back.
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Mikie stood, holding the hands of her two youngest children, watching him go. "No! he can't!" Greg wrenched his hand from his mother and ran after Ben. "Daddy! You can't! We need you here! It doesn't matter about work. Mom will give you a job!" Ben stopped and turned slowly to see the little boy running up to him. "Greg! Stop!" His voice was stern and his features were set in determination. "You listen here, young man! You turn right round and go back to your mother, otherwise I'm gonna get very angry!" Greg was shocked. "But But I .." "No! Greg, no." Ben, once more turned from him and walked away. He disappeared through a door and Greg stood, transfixed, looking after him. Mikie knelt down and took hold of her son. "We'll be with him soon, darling. Now we have to get back to Brett, he needs us and we promised Ben." The security guard was standing next to her. "D'you need any help, miss?" "No, thank you, we're fine." Mikie smiled at him. As Ben boarded the flight the stewardess looked at him with concern. "Is everything all right Mr Jordan?" she asked. Ben sighed. "I guess so." He wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. "I didn't think I'd have to do this. My son is in the hospital and I have to go back to San Francisco and sort out a mess." "If you need anything, just let me know." Ben smiled at her and walked up the aisle to find his seat. Brett was released from the hospital five days later. Ben would phone at least four times every day for a progress report and to tell Mikie how much he was missing them all.
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Mikie found it difficult to sleep without Ben's arms around her. She threw herself into work to help the time pass more quickly. The children also missed Ben. Greg was very quiet. "We'll be going soon, Greg." Tara had told him when they were sitting in the playroom one rainy afternoon three weeks after he had left. "It's not like it was with Jack. Ben is still alive and he loves us. It'll be okay." "Mummy is sad, though, Tara. Only Ben can make her smile, I can't I've tried." Greg pointed out. He left her sitting on the floor and went downstairs to the library. It was four thirty in the afternoon. Greg picked up the phone and started to dial. "Hi! This is Ben! I'm not here right now! Leave a message!" the answering machine spoke. "It's just Greg, Daddy, I'll call you at the office." Greg dialled again. "Jordan/Stanmore Security, may I help?" the woman on the switchboard said. "I need to speak to Ben Jordan." Greg said. "Mr Jordan is in a meeting, may I take a message?" "It's Greg here, I need to speak to him." "Oh! Right if you hold the line Greg, I'll try and put you through." Ben was not happy when the phone on his desk rang. By the light that was lit he knew the call was coming from the main switchboard. "I said no calls, Liz!" "I'm sorry Mr Jordan, but it's Greg and he doesn't sound very happy." Liz replied. "Would you excuse me a second, gentlemen, please?" He said to the three other men in the room. They nodded. "Okay, Liz, put him through." A few seconds later Greg heard Ben's voice. "Hey, sport! What's wrong?"
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"Nothing I just needed to speak to you." The grin spread across his face. "Okay. How are you?" "I'm worried about Mommy. She's awfully sad, Dad. She just mopes around. I've been trying to make her laugh but I can't." "I know Greg, I'm sad too. I had to come back and sort this stuff out. I can't get away for another month so we have to make the best of it. You tell your Mom that I love her for me, will you?" "Course! Brett is getting better, I wish he would hurry up so we can come and be with you." "You have to be patient, Greg. He needs time." "I love you, Dad. I have to go now." "I love you too, Greg. You be patient and the time will pass quick. Give Mommy a kiss from me." "I will! Bye, Dad!" "You shouldn't call until Mum says it's all right, Greg." Tara said to her brother. "I don't care, I needed to." Greg shrugged. It was two more weeks until Brett was allowed to make the long flight to San Francisco. Mikie had left strict instructions with everyone that Ben was not to know she was on her way to him. The ten hours it took for flights and transfers was an ordeal, for once, she was glad to endure. She kept picturing Ben's face, his smile, his eyes, the funny way he screwed his face when he was concentrating, but most of all she remembered the lust in his eyes whenever she was near him. Thankfully the afternoon traffic was fairly light and flowed easily as the taxi sped into the city.
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CHAPTER 13 Ben was in his office, looking out of the window, having a heated discussion on the telephone when there was a knock at the door. "Your two o'clock appointment, Ben." Shirley was a medium height, slim built, redhead, with sparkling brown eyes. "I don't have a two o'clock." Ben was still looking out of the window. "That's a shame, maybe we should go home then." The voice was unmistakable. "I'll call you back, Danny." he replaced the receiver and spun to see Mikie and the kids grinning at him. He ran around his desk, scooped Mikie into his arms and spun her round. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming.? I would have come and picked you up." He thought he would burst with happiness. "I wanted to see if you'd missed me." She smiled. "Oh lord! Have I ever! You are a sight for sore eyes." "Okay! But if you don't stop turning me round, I'm gonna be sick." He stopped spinning but did not put her down. "Sorry, can't help it! This is great!" He kissed her, a long, lingering kiss that left her in no doubt about the fact that he had missed her. "Oh! Yuk! Do we have to watch this?" Brett's voice was deeper than Ben had remembered. "Okay! Okay! I'm done! For now at least." Ben turned to the children. "So how are my family?" "We're all great, thanks, Dad." Brett offered Ben his hand. Ben hugged him. Then Ali. Then Tara. Then he picked Greg up and looked at him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." He said softly. "It's okay! Don't matter, I'm over it now." He said,
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honestly. "No. Its not okay. It broke my heart to leave. I've had sleepless nights because of it." "I forgive you." Greg kissed Ben's cheek. "Thanks." He said putting him down. Shirley was standing in the doorway. Ben looked at her. "Shirley this is Mikie, Brett, Greg, Alesha and Tamara." He smiled at her. "We've met. I was wandering if the kids would like icecream?" she asked. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Greg shouted. "We guess you two have things to talk about. We'll leave you to it." Ali said taking Brett by the arm. In the quiet office Ben took Mikie in his arms. "Oh, Mikie. Did I miss you!?" "I missed you too. I tried to call from the airport, but you were on the phone. Shirley said just to come over 'cause you needed a break." "I do. I've been stuck in this office for days trying to sort this mess out." "Can I help?" "Right now all you need to do is just hug me." "I'm not sure I remember how." Mikie said sarcastically. "Ouch! You know I didn't wanna leave." There was hurt in his tone. Ben was leaning on the edge of his desk with Mikie in his arms. "I'm joking." "How's Brett? He looks fine." "He's doing okay, we'll need to keep an eye on him but I think he's gonna be fine." "Were Greg and Tara upset for long?" "Na! They can wrap you round their little fingers." "They can not."
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"They can! Tara has you right where she wants you." Mikie looked amused and relaxed. "I give in. You're right." He hung his head. "Ali?" "Ali is Ali. What d'you want me to say?" They started to laugh. "God I've missed that." "What?" "The sound of you laughing." He hugged her close. "How are you?" "I'm fine, darling, fine." She buried her head in his chest. The door opened behind her. "Ben! I Oh sorry!" The man was about Ben's age, at least four inches shorter with dark brown hair and horn rimmed glasses. "Glen Spacek, this is Michaela." Ben introduced his employee. "Hi! Look I'm sorry to interrupt, I'll come back later." Glen turned to leave. "No, it's okay, do it now 'cause I'm going home." Ben instructed. "The accountants got it wrong. I've been over these figures ten times and they got it wrong." Glen showed Ben the note pad he had in his hand. "Glen, You're a genius! Get on it will you? I think today just turned out beautiful after all." Ben shook Glen by the hand. He turned back to Mikie. "Would you like some of that ice-cream?" "Yeah. That would be great." Ben picked his jacket from the back of his chair and set off with Mikie to the ice-cream parlour at the foot of the building. After ice-cream they went home. Ben drove them to his apartment. They were sitting in the car in the basement garage of the apartment block. "Ben, darling, a question?" Mikie had a bemused look on
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her face. "What?" He could not contain his excitement. "Where are we?" "Home!" His enthusiasm died when he saw the expression on her face. "What?" "How many bedrooms do you have?" She enquired. The apartment had two bedrooms, one bathroom a lounge and a small kitchen. "Two." Ben said, slowly. "This is never gonna work. Is it?" Realisation hit like a bolt of lightning. "I think." Mikie suggested. "That maybe we should live in my house." "You know I never gave it a thought. I guess I'm just so used to living here that I just assumed. That was a mistake. Let me go up and grab some stuff and we'll go to your place." "Okay, I'll come with you." Mikie said. When they arrived back at the car Ben turned to Mikie. "Where to?" "Canyon Drive, 1344." "Figures." "What does?" "Canyon Drive. I mean, Forest Hill, the most expensive neighbourhood in the city. Where else?" "Ben Jordan! Don't be such a snob." Mikie had bought the house after Jack left. She felt safe in the neighbourhood and already had some good friends who lived there. The house was even bigger than Ben had imagined. It was a square building painted white. There were eight bedrooms, seven bathrooms, lounge, dining room, sitting room, kitchen, a small apartment where Beth Davis the housekeeper lived and a swimming pool. The garage was big enough to hold three cars. "I'm sorry about the mix up earlier, Mik, I really didn't
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think." Ben said later in the evening, when they were sitting on one of the big sofas in the sitting room, watching the television news. "It's okay. Neither did I." She was sitting in her favourite position, curled up next to him. "Its fine now though, isn't it?" "Perfect. I couldn't be happier." He pulled her closer. "Beth is an angel. Where did you find her?" "She kinda fell out of the sky, I guess." "No kidding? Don't you make fun of me Mrs Jordan, or I'll have to sort you out." "Oh really. I wasn't making fun of you. But I might just start!" "You are a wicked lady." Ben yawned. "If you're tired, go to bed." Mikie turned round to look at him. "I'm not, I'm fine. Any way I might wake up to find today has been a dream and you're not really here after all." "I'm here, Ben. I'm definitely here." She kissed him. "I'm not tired either." She winked at him. "D'you have something in your eye? Want me to take a look?" "Ben! Don't play games." "No? you want me to play your games." He picked her up and carried her up stairs. "You enjoy this, don't you?" "What?" "Carrying me when I can walk." "There's reasoning behind it, darlin'. I've got you right where I want you." The bed was bigger than it had looked the first time Ben had seen it. He had gently relieved Mikie of most of her clothes and lay her down on the cool silk sheets. She was wearing the same lemon body suit as she had for their wedding night and Ben
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looked down on her from the side of the bed. "You are so beautiful. And I am so lucky!" He said as she took hold of his hand.
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CHAPTER 14 They settled into life with each other, idyllically happy with their situation. The children would often go to Ben's office in the afternoon with ice-cream. Ben was not the least bit put out by it and set up a running three-thirty appointment for them every afternoon. The weekends were spent in the surroundings of their home. They invited friends and neighbours over for drinks and barbecues. They were in the garden one Friday evening having drinks with some friends. Karen and Denis Lowells lived in the house directly opposite. Kelly and Gus Springer lived next door to Karen and Grace and Miles Henrikson lived next door to Mikie. Their friends had brought their children with them and the adults sat and watched them playing as they chatted. Ben was a good cook and was standing next to the large gas barbecue cooking various foods. He was talking to Denis and Miles. "I've got a contract with the Raiders if you want to go to the game Sunday, I'll get some tickets." "That would be great, Ben! Thanks!" Miles said enthusiastically. "Count me in!" Denis said. "Hey Gus! Fancy going to the Raiders game Sunday?" "Can't get tickets, I've tried!" Gus shrugged. "Ben can!" "In that case, sure!" "I'll go and call Hal. Be back in a minute!" Ben said and went into the house. "We don't have anything planned for Sunday, do we, honey?" Denis asked Karen. "If we did, it's just been cancelled." Karen looked at her husband exasperated. Miles and Gus were looking at their wives expectantly. "Don't look at me, Miles. It's your mother who's coming on
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Sunday." Grace said. "Oh, jees! I'd forgotten about her." Miles scratched his head. "I think she'll survive for a couple of hours without you." Grace laughed. "Kelly?" Gus said simply. "It's okay. You go out and play with your friends, I'll be fine!" Kelly was eight and a half months pregnant. "Are you sure? I mean, I can cancel if you feel something starting." "I'll be okay." "You can all come over to my place, girls. I'll cook lunch and we can watch a movie." Karen said. All the women agreed. "We'll leave the kids home, I'm sure Ann won't mind baby sitting." Grace said. Ben came back with a big smile on his face. "All set." "Does that mean I can come too?" Brett said. "Sure there's room for eight. How about the other kids, guys?" "Lizzy hates football and Jamie is a little young yet." Denis said. "David and Simon won't keep still for that long." Gus stated. "Joe will probably be up for it." Miles said. "You bet I am!" Joe stood behind his father. "Greg won't want to come, he says football is boring." Brett informed Ben. "Okay! That's fine!" Ben beamed. The women were sitting just out of hearing range of the men. "Men never really grow up do they?" Grace reflected. "You're not going into your philosophical mode are you Grace?" Kelly asked.
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"I just asked a question, Kelly." "No, Grace, they don't!" Karen said. "I don't think I could cope with a grown up version of Gus!" Kelly said smiling. "I know I definitely couldn't cope with a grown up Ben!" Mikie laughed. "Miles is almost unbearable as he is, a grown up version? I'd need a psychiatrist!" Grace laughed. "What's the joke?" Gus asked, walking towards where the women were seated. "It's a girl thing. You wouldn't understand." Grace said. "I'm not gettin into it then." Gus looked at the women who were laughing. "Hey Kids! Who's up for burgers?" Ben shouted. The younger children ran towards the table where Ben had put a plate piled with burgers. Ali, Liz (Karen's daughter) and Jill, (Grace's daughter) were sitting in the enclosure round the pool dangling their feet in the water. Brett, being a gentleman, took them each a burger and a glass of fizzy drink. He sat down next to Liz. "Thanks, Brett." Jill said. "Thanks." Liz smiled at him. "Don't mention it. You don't mind me going to the game on Sunday, Liz, do you?" Brett and Liz had started seeing each other just after Brett had arrived. "It's fine, I'll probably have to look after Jamie. Mom will be going somewhere no doubt." "You could come along too, there'll be room." "I don't think so." "I didn't think so either. It's polite to ask." Brett kissed her cheek. As the evening drew on the younger children were taken to bed. All the houses had live in housekeepers so there was
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someone in each home to look after the kids. By nine thirty the only children left were Brett, Ali and Liz. The adults were sitting on the long seats that were place round the edge of the patio area. The three teenagers were sitting on the edge of the lawn. Ali stood up and yawned. "I think I'll call it a night." she walked towards the house. "Night Mum! Dad!" she kissed the cheeks of Mikie and Ben. "Night everyone!" she disappeared into the house. The adults were engaged in two conversations. The women were catching up on the latest gossip and the men were talking football. "It has obviously escaped everyone's notice but the kids have disappeared." Ben said quietly. "They're in the gazebo." Mikie said. "Uh-hu! Maybe I should go and see if they're okay." Ben looked in the direction of the gazebo. "Leave them alone, Ben. You were sixteen once." Karen said. "That's what I'm worried about." "It's a good job Brett has had Harry's influence then, isn't it?" Mikie was trying not to laugh. "And what is it you say about Harry? Oh yes! Age does not always bring wisdom." "Yeah but Brett is a gentleman." Denis said. "Okay! I'm out numbered." Ben sat back and folded his arms. Brett and Liz were sitting in the gazebo well out of hearing range of the adults. "When do you have to go back?" Liz asked trying not to sound like she was going to miss him dreadfully. "First week in September. I'm not sure I want to go back." Brett's mind was drifting to the long hours he would spend missing Liz. "I was thinking that I could ask Mum if I can go to
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school here." "That would be hard work, Brett. You'd have to cope with a whole different method of teaching. Then you'd have a different exam structure to deal with." "I'm going to miss you though." He smiled at her. "Me too. But doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder? We can write and phone." She wanted him to stay. He would be thousands of miles away, with lots of temptations. "You'll have to let me have a new photo, the one I've got is a bit out dated." Brett said. 'A full length one of you in the bikini you've been wearing all afternoon will suit me fine!' He thought. "I'll sort one out for you." Liz stifled a yawn. "We'd better get back. I'm surprised Dad hasn't been down here to see where we are." Brett said. It was after eleven and the adults decided that they, too, should call it a night and drifted off to their homes.
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CHAPTER 15 Mikie's office was in the block across the square from Ben's, it was three floors higher and she could see one of his office windows from her desk. Ben had put up a sign that said 'I love you!' and Mikie smiled every time she looked at it. She spent her days running the commercial business and also the charity organisations that she had set up for kids and young adults who were in trouble. She would phone Ben at least twice a day. In September when it was time for Brett and Ali to return to school they returned to England to live with their Grandparents. The arrangements made, Ben drove them to the airport. "You two will be okay, won't you?" He asked concerned they were taking the journey on their own. "Dad, please. We're sixteen now. And its not like it's the first time we've done this." Brett wanted to show Ben that he could take care of himself and his sister. "I know, Brett, I'm just not used to it. I'm gonna miss you." Ben looked proudly at Brett. "We really will be fine, Dad. I'll ring from New York, Gatwick, Newcastle, Millbank!" Ali tried to reassure him. "I know, sugar, you won't forget?" "If she does, I'll call." Brett said forcefully. "We have to go." Final hugs and kisses and the two young people walked off to catch their plane. "Don't you start crying, Dad. I've only got one pack of tissues left." Tara was looking at Ben with her hands on her hips. "I won't. Any way, you and Greg are still here. You're not going anywhere, are you?" He asked. "No. But I'll miss them too." she smiled. Tara and Greg went to the best school in the city and Ben would drop them off each morning. Beth would pick them up in the afternoon and take them to Ben's twelfth floor office for their habitual ice-cream.
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It was late October. Ben, Greg and Tara were sitting on his desk waiting for Mikie to arrive. From their position on the desk they could see the building that housed the McKeon Corporation, a subsidiary of McKeon Enterprises. As they waited they saw a man running from the building, across the square between and into the building they were in. "Mum's late." Tara sighed. "She'll be here shortly. She won't miss ice-cream." Greg said. The door behind them opened, but instead of Ben turning to look he said in a loud voice. "She's too late anyway we've eaten all the ice-cream." "Ben! I think you'd better come quick." The voice belonged to Richard Green. Ben spun round to face him. "What is it?" "Not here." he said looking at the children. "I'll be back in a minute, kids." Ben left the office behind Richard. "This better be important." "Claire Delgano found her on the floor in her office about ten minutes ago. They took her to Saint Helen's. She was unconscious, Ben." They talked all the way to the lift. Richard pressed the call button. "Shirley will you take care of the kids, till Beth gets back?" Ben shouted. "Of course, let me know what happ" the lift door closed on Shirley's reply. At the hospital Ben found Mikie in the emergency room. "What's happening?" He said to the nurse by Mikie's bed. "I'll get Doctor Tremelli to come see you." "Ben?" Mikie's voice was quiet. "I'm here. Don't worry. Everything's gonna be just fine." He held her hand. "Mr Jordan? I'm Victor Tremelli. Can we talk?"
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"Here. Don't leave me, Ben I'm scared." Mikie gripped Ben's hand. "Okay. It's okay. I'll only be gone a minute." Ben smiled at her. Outside the room Tremelli looked at Ben. "We think she may be losing the baby." "Hold it a minute! What d'you mean, losing the baby?" Ben was totally confused. "You didn't know she's pregnant?" Tremelli looked bemused. "She's at least twenty weeks." "But she can't be. She said that she couldn't have any more after Tara and Greg." "I'm not a Gynaecologist, Mr Jordan, but I do know that your wife is most definitely pregnant." He put a hand on Ben's shoulder. "She doesn't know yet. Do you want me to tell her or shall I wait for Dr Peterson?" "Err? No. I'll tell her." Ben was excited and subdued, confused, worried. "I don't know how, but I'll tell her." He walked slowly back towards the room. "Ben! Wait!" Andrew Peterson was mid forties, dark hair, blue eyes, medium build and about the same height as Ben. "I came as quickly as I could." He was panting from running down the corridor. "How is she?" "She's pregnant." Ben said. "She doesn't know yet." "Okay, want me to tell her?" "No. I'll be fine. I don't know how this happened." "You need a biology lesson?" Andrew said, amused. "No! I mean, she thought she couldn't have any more, after Tara and Greg." "Not Mikie. That was Jack. It was a miracle they had Tara and Greg. His sperm count was practically nil." Ben grinned. "She thought it was her." He looked up to the ceiling. "Stanmore! Wherever you are, you're a bastard!" he said
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quietly. He went back to Mikie's side. Watching her face taught with worry and pain, he wanted to pick her up and hold her, to take away her pain. His heart was beating twice as fast as normal and he had an ache in the pit of his stomach. He sat in the chair by the bed and stroked her hair. "Hi! I've got some news." "Is this gonna be good and bad stuff? If it is tell me the good. I don't wanna hear the bad." "Remember at the lake you told me you couldn't have any more kids? Well, you were wrong. It was Jack who couldn't have kids, not you." "Oh! MY! GOD!" Mikie was in shock. "There is a bad bit. The baby is threatening to abort." Ben was worried. "You mean I'm going to lose it?" "Maybe. But if you take it careful, we should have a healthy baby." Ben was not at all convinced by his own tone. Mikie was speechless. She felt a strange mixture of worry and elation. She had thought that she would never be able to give Ben a child. Never see a small version of the man she loved so desperately. Andrew Peterson came into the room. "How d'you feel?" "Sore. My back hurts and I've got a thumping headache." Mikie replied. "I want to keep you in." He stopped her from talking. "Until your stable. Then you can go home, if you promise to be good and rest!" "Okay! Whatever it takes." Mikie thought that she had given in far too easily. But she had known Andrew a long time and she knew he would be strict. "So what am I, ten, twelve weeks?" "Twenty at least."
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"Don't be ridiculous, Andrew." "I'm serious. You're relatively fit and you didn't really start showing with the twins until you were sixteen weeks." He looked at them. "You really do have to be careful though. No work. No getting stressed. You need rest." Ben was sitting on the bed behind her with Mikie's head on his chest. "I'll make sure she gets lots of rest." "I can't sit around doing nothing for months." Mikie protested. "You will if you want to keep this baby." Andrew's voice was stern. "Okay. Okay! I know when I'm beaten." Andrew arranged a scan which showed Mikie to be twenty four weeks pregnant. In her own mind she had worked it out that she conceived the first time they had made love. Mikie was discharged the following day and arrived home. "You'll be fine, darling." Ben said, softly "I promise I'll be good and rest." She said. "I won't jeopardise the baby." Over the next two months Ben, Mikie, Greg and Tara settled back into as normal a routine as possible. Ben made sure that Mikie followed Andrew's instructions to the letter. He gave her huge boxes of chocolates. "Are you trying to get me fat?" "You already are. I just figured that if you eat those then you won't possibly be able to move, so you've got no choice but to rest." "That's a bit backhanded. I told you I've got no intention of doing anything! I'll just sit here all day getting bigger and bigger." "Mmm! And I know you. What you say and what you do are not always the same thing." he kissed her nose. "I've had a phone extension put in so you don't even have to get up to
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answer that." "Thought of everything haven't you?" She was quietly proud of him. "I think so. But if I've missed anything, I'm sure you'll tell me." "I do need some exercise, you know?" "Swimming. It's gentle and it won't hurt your back. I got the pool cleaner to turn the filter on high so there won't be so many chemicals in the water." "You're a marvel. And you said Beth is an angel." "I have my uses." Ben beamed at her. "Yeah! One of which got me into this state." She grinned. "Oh! I didn't hear any complaints." "No! but I'm sure gonna miss you." "I'm still here. Anyway I've been talking to Andrew." He winked at her. "You're not serious, Ben." "He said there's no reason why not, if we take it easy." He was grinning at her. "You look like the cat who got the cream." The voice belonged to Karen. The neighbour and friend who lived across the street who was coming in through the kitchen door. "Yep! That just about sums it up." Ben said. "Go make us some tea, please." Mikie said. "Your wish is my command." Ben jogged off into the kitchen. Karen hugged her friend. "How are ya?" "I'm fine. I wish Ben would stop fussing over me though." "I wish Denis would do half of this. Enjoy it while it lasts, Mikie." "I feel like a spare part that nobody wants. I hate having to sit around and do nothing." "You have to take it easy for the baby's sake. If you don't do
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it for yourself, do it for Ben." Karen had been concerned about Mikie and after speaking to Ben, she called in to see her every day while Ben was at the office. "I know. If anything happened to this baby I don't think I'd be able to cope." Mikie tried to hide most of her own concern from Ben, but had confided in Karen. Ben came back into the room carrying a tray laden with Teapot, cups and cookies. "Where did you find him, Mikie? If I send Denis over do you think you could give him some tips?" Karen asked. "You leave Denis alone. He's fine the way he is." Mikie told her friend. "Are you kidding? You try living with him for a week, then tell me he's fine." "I'm gonna pick Tara and Greg up from school." Ben said. "Karen would you like me to bring Jamie too?" "Oh! Would you Ben? You're an angel." Karen had forgotten the time. "Happy to please. Just stay here and don't let her move." he pointed to Mikie. "That's fine with me." Karen felt she had received the best end of the bargain. Ben picked up his keys from the table by the front door and left.
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CHAPTER 16 The following day Ben was in the middle of a meeting with the senior managers from the production plant. "I still don't see how the weather has anything to do with production, Morris!" He said angrily. "If it's raining the men slow down. I don't know. I'm just telling it like it is, Ben!" Morris Pallister was a large man, fifty three years old, grey, receding, hair and a laid-back attitude. "They work on a production line, for hells sake! Its not like they're digging ditches or something!" Shirley entered the room and handed Ben a note. "I reckon the new line is to blame." Dean Margoles said. "It's much more complicated then the others!" "Hogwash! Give me a minute, guys." Ben said, exasperated. He glanced briefly at the note in his hand and picked up the phone. "What is it, Beth?" "Oh right. I'll be there in twenty minutes!" he hung up the phone. "We're gonna have to finish this later! Come up with something more tangible!" he left. Mikie was curled up in the bed, sobbing. He lay on top of the covers and put his arms round her. "He lied to me, Ben. Then he laughed at me." She sobbed. "He's still laughing at me." "No one is laughing at you, darlin'!" "Jack is! Why couldn't he face up to it and tell me it was him? If I'd known I wouldn't have ignored the pain in my side." "What pain?" he was trying not to sound shocked. "I thought it was a period pain. You know how erratic my periods are. I should have had it checked out. I should have made sure everything was okay." "Mikie, sweetheart, everything is okay." "Then why do I keep getting the feeling that the sky is gonna fall in and I'll lose the baby." "Oh Mikie! Nothing is gonna happen. Trust me."
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Her face twisted with confusion. "Why are you here? I thought you had a meeting?" "I did. Beth called me." "But it's Tuesday. Beth's at her sisters, isn't she?" "Apparently her sister had a dentist appointment. She heard you crying and called me." "I guess you'll have to go back?" "Nope. I cancelled everything. I'm gonna stay right here with you." He smiled. "And you are gonna close your eyes and go to sleep." "I can't. I'm too wound up to sleep." Ben stood up, took off his shirt and trousers and climbed into the bed next to her. He held her gently and stroked her back until she fell asleep. It was after two when she woke. She felt better than she had for weeks. She slid from the bed and pulled on a dress. Ben was in the kitchen drinking coffee when she found him. "Hi! You look better." he smiled. "I feel better. Thanks darling." "Hungry?" "Ravenous!" "Yep! That's what I thought. Come and sit down I made spaghetti." "Where's Beth?" "She had some shopping to do. She'll be back about four. I said I would pick the kids up from school." "Oh right." She said disappointed. "What?" "Nothing." How nice it would be to get some air, she thought. "You can come with me if you like." She smiled at him. Ben decided that it was not good for Mikie to be left at home
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all day and suggested that she went to the office with him. She thought it was a great idea. She spent the day sitting in Ben's office helping him with various tasks. If she felt tired she would stretch out on the big leather sofa and sleep. He transferred the meetings that were usually held in his office to the boardroom. When Ben returned to the office after a meeting, Mikie was sitting at his desk drinking a cup of coffee. "You got ideas above your station, girl!" He was leaning against the door jam, with his arms folded grinning at her. He was thinking how beautiful she was and how lucky that she was his. Mikie snapped out of the day-dream she was in. "I was planning a take-over. I could run this ship much better than the guy who's in control now." "You could, could you? But would you keep him on to help?" "Nah! I'd have a clean sweep. Besides, I know his wife very well and she'd appreciate having him home all day." "She's not home all day. He'd get bored." Her next words were interrupted by the arrival of Tara, Greg and Beth. "Hi Mom!" Greg shouted. "I didn't know you would be here still." "I knew!" Tara said. "We brought you some ice-cream." "You did not know!" Greg said angrily. "You said she'd probably have gone home!" "I did know! Daddy doesn't let her go home on her own!" "Whoa! Hold it you two! What's this all about?" Ben asked. "She's been like this all day, Dad! Miss Rimmer told her off this morning for it!" Greg explained, a smug look on his face. Tara glared at her brother. "I hate you! You said you wouldn't say anything!" "That was before you were so mean to me at lunch time!"
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"If I'd known about this you wouldn't have had ice-cream!" Beth said, sharply. Mikie was interrupted again, this time by the phone ringing. "Hello!" "Put her through, Shirley, thanks!" "Miss Rimmer, hi!" "Oh really?" "Uh-hu!" "Leave it with me, I'll sort it out." The children had backed from the room and were now standing in the outer office. Mikie went out to speak to them. Ben followed her. "Start talking, Tara!" She said angrily. "About what?" Tara said, innocently. "Tara!" "It wasn't all my fault! Caitlin started it!" "Started what?" "She was calling Greg names!" "What did you do?" Tara hung her head in shame. "Well?" Mikie waited. "Tell her, Taz." Greg said. The longer she waited the more annoyed Mikie was getting. "Tara! Talk! Now!" "She was being horrible to Greg!" The little girl said, indignantly. "Tara!!" "That's enough Mikie." Ben said. "Go back into the office and I'll sort this out." "No. I need to sort it." "Don't argue, Mikie. You're supposed to be resting." Mikie looked at Ben and sighed, suddenly she felt very tired. "Okay. Fine." She reluctantly went back into Ben's office and closed the door.
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"Tell me what you did, Tara." He said sternly. "I put red paint in her shoe." Tara said quietly. "Well that punishment fit the crime, didn't it?" She thought for a few seconds. "No sir, it didn't." "So what happened?" "Miss Rimmer told me off. I had to clean out Caitlin's shoe and apologise to her." "Uh-hu." Tara looked up at Ben. "She was being horrible to Greg, Daddy!" "Don't matter. Doesn't bother me!" Greg said. "I ignore her." Greg understood there were people around him who did not understand his condition. There were children who were afraid of him, because he was different and there were children who thought they could bully him. Generally he ignored them. Mikie had explained to him why people react they way they do and Greg knew they did not mean any harm. Tara was another matter. Whenever Greg was called a name, she thought he should say something. She was much more forceful in her ways than Greg and felt as if it was her duty to protect him from the horrible things in life. "Well it bothers me!" Tara said sharply. "They shouldn't call you names." Greg sighed. "You don't need to stick up for me, but you do that all the time." "Well sorry for caring! I won't do it again!" "That'll do, you two!" Ben said. "You should have told a teacher or a supervisor, Tara." "That doesn't help! She just keeps doing it! Saying that Greg should be locked up somewhere where he can't be seen!" Greg glared at his sister and went into the office to see his mother. "Why do I get the feeling there's more to this?" Ben asked.
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"It hurts me when they say things about him." "Who are they?" "Caitlin, Joely and Emma." "I guess they are all in your grade?" "Yes." "Okay. So why were you being mean to Greg?" "Because I think he should say something to them. He thinks if he ignores it, it will go away! It's just like he was with Jack. He never told him how he felt either!" In her mind she was protecting her brother from the world. "Greg has to deal with it in his own way, sweetheart. You're not always gonna be around for him." Ben sat in one of the leather chairs in the reception room. "But he doesn't understand, Dad. There are horrible people who don't understand him." "And there's you who helps him when he doesnt want you to. Can't you see. To Greg, you're just as bad as they are. You won't let him live. He has to be allowed to make choices for himself, honey." Tara sighed. "But I love him Dad! I just want to help him." "I know that. But you have to wait for him to ask you. You have to give him a chance." She nodded. "Mom's gonna be mad at me, isn't she?" "I'm mad at you!" "Are you?" The little girl looked up, surprised. "So is Greg." "He'll get over it." "Quicker than I will." "I'm sorry, Dad." "I'm not the one to apologise to." "He won't accept it. I've tried." "Try harder." She blew out her breath and went into Ben's office.
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Greg was sitting on the sofa next to Mikie. "I'm sorry, Greg. I hate it when they do that. But I won't do anything again, unless you ask me to." She said. Greg shrugged at her. "I can do things myself, Tara. I don't need two mother's!" "I think I should take you two home." Beth suggested. "Good idea, Beth." Ben said. The children kissed Mikie and Ben and left with Beth. "Tell me later, Ben." Mikie smiled. "Are you okay? You look pale." He sat next to her. "I've got a bit of a headache, that's all." He walked to the windows and closed all the blinds, plunging the room into semi-darkness. Then he went to the door. "Shirley can you get Glen to take my four o'clock, please?" "I already have. Is everything okay?" Shirley smiled. "Her ladyship has a headache." He smiled. "Anything I can do?" "Nah! A few minutes quiet should see her right." He turned back to Mikie who appeared to be asleep. "I hate it when you call me that!" she said. "I gave you your title. It's better than me calling you the boss!" he smiled. "Only slightly!" He sat next to her and put his arm round her. She snuggled into his shoulder and fell asleep.
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CHAPTER 17 It was now December tenth, Mikie's birthday. Ben, Greg and Tara were sitting on the floor in the sitting room looking through catalogues from the best stores in San Francisco. Mikie had fallen asleep on the big sofa while she watched them. There was a ring at the doorbell. When Ben answered it he found Brett, Ali, Harry and Margaret. Brett and Ali hugged him. "Shhh! She's asleep. Don't wake her." He kissed Margaret and shook Harry's hand. "How is she, Ben?" Margaret asked quietly. "She's doin' just fine." "Daddy! Come quick!" Tara sounded frightened. They all ran into the sitting room to find Mikie on the floor with her head on Greg's knee. "What's wrong?" Ben knelt down beside her. "G-E-T T-H-E-M 0-U-T O-F H-E-R-E!!!!" Mikie said through gritted teeth. "Hey Tara! Greg! Come with us!" Brett said. "Hello! Brett! Ali! Granddad! Gran'ma!" Greg said innocently. Brett took the two young children out of the room. "What? Mik? Tell me!" Ben was scared. "This baby is not gonna wait any longer." She was puffing her breath in and out. "I'll call an ambulance." Margaret said. "No! No time! M-U-M!!!!" She was trying to keep her grip on reality. "Harry! Towels! Hot water! Now!" The room burst into activity. Mikie could hear Tara crying somewhere that seemed a mile away. "Now just go slow, darling, I'm here. We've done this before. But there's only one this time."
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Ben was sitting on the floor cradling Mikie's head. Between Margaret and Ben, Mikie felt safe. Her baby was not wasting any time and was delivered ten minutes later, a healthy baby girl. Ben was bewildered, shocked, proud and extremely happy. "Oh! Lord! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He buried his head in Mikie's neck and cried tears of joy. "Okay, sweetheart, we need to get you two to the hospital. Are you up to it?" "Of course I am. You'll probably have to carry us." "That's nothing. I'm used to that. Do you want a change of clothes?" "And a shower too." Ben left his new daughter safe in the arms of her Grandmother and carried Mikie up to their room. He helped her to shower and dress and then carried her back to the lounge. Everyone was in tears. Harry, Margaret, Brett, Ali, Tara, Greg and Beth. "Well it's nice to see everyone so happy." Mikie shouted. "Now, if you don't mind we have to take her for a check up." The baby was wrapped up against the chill of the wind that was blowing outside. Ben drove them to the hospital and brought out a wheelchair for Mikie to sit in. Andrew checked Mikie and the baby over and gave them a clean bill of health. Even though the baby was a few weeks premature she weighed almost six pounds. Two hours later Ben took his wife and new daughter home. For Ben Christmas of that year was magical. He took care of all the festive decorations and decked the house out with lights. He was very proud of his family and wanted to tell the world. He searched through shops for special gifts for everyone, with the help of the older children.
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Mikie spent the days leading up to Christmas trying to get her new baby into some sort of routine. Their little daughter was called Jessica and was an angelic child who had mountains of patience for a baby. For a reason unknown to Mikie she was very nervous of the baby. She found it difficult to bond with the child. It was as if she were afraid that something would happen to her. None of the other children were allowed to touch her. Brett and Ali would offer help that Mikie declined. She spent most of the day in the nursery looking at the sleeping child. If the other children came into the room she would scold them and send them away. Ben seemed oblivious to his wife's behaviour, putting it down to the stress of having a new baby. She snapped at him for the least little thing, yelled at the top of her voice at the older kids when they put a foot wrong. Ben could not, or would not, see that there was a problem. Harry and Margaret, on the other hand, could see something happening. "She can't keep this up, Maggie, she's heading for burn out! I think I should have that talk with Ben, you know?" Harry was pacing across the floor in their bedroom. He was increasingly concerned with his daughters attitude. He wanted to speak to Ben and tell him to sort it out, before it went too far. When he had spoken to Margaret about it, she had told him to leave well alone. "You have to give him a chance to see it for himself, Harry. You can't interfere, Ben will see it!" Margaret was sitting in front of the dressing table. She was also concerned at their daughter's behaviour. She could see that Mikie was struggling with the baby and was in danger of slipping into a depression. "But it's awful to watch her, Mag. I don't know if I can sit back and let it happen for much longer." "Harry! I love you dearly, but right now if you say anything I'll get really angry!" Margaret was trying to hold her temper.
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"All right! I'll try!" Harry was exasperated. It was Christmas Eve and there was a house full of family and friends. Mikie was in the middle of the throng and seemed to be more relaxed than she had been for weeks. Ben was being waiter and constantly filling glasses and handing round trays of food. Through the laughter and music the sound of Jess crying reached Mikie's ears. "Thanks Jess! I really need this now. You're supposed to be asleep." She picked up her daughter and rested her head on her shoulder. She rubbed her back and paced the floor trying to get her to go back to sleep. Jess continued to scream. She paced for over an hour but nothing she tried would comfort her. She was starting to despair. Ben came quietly into the room. "There you are. Give her here. why didn't you say? I would have come up. You go back downstairs I'll sort her out." He was smiling at her. He took the baby and placed her on his shoulder. Jess immediately calmed down. "I don't believe it! I've been trying for more than an hour! Then you take over and its like magic!" she stared at him. "It's a talent. I guess." He beamed. Mikie exploded. "Oh! Course! I forgot! Anything that goes wrong Ben Jordan Superman can fix it!! I hate you I really do!" Ben was confused and hurt. "Mikie! Darlin' What's wrong?" "No! you don't know 'cause you won't see what's been under your nose for the last two weeks!" "What? Tell me, please." Jess was starting to cry again. Mikie looked at her husband and then stormed out of the room. Ben found her lying across the bed crying hysterically. He tried to hold her but she pushed him away. "Mikie? Mikie, please! Don't do this." Ben was lost. He wanted to hold her and make everything better. "You gotta talk to me, Mikie, please! I can't help if I don't know!" "Go away, Ben! I don't want to talk to you!"
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"Sweetheart! You're cutting me up! Please, Mikie, please!" She got up from the bed and locked herself in the bathroom. Ben sat bewildered, searching his mind for something to do. There was a gentle tap at the door. He opened it and Margaret stood smiling kindly at him. "I'm lost, Mom! I don't know what to do. Or what I've done." he was crying. "I know, Ben. I'm afraid we saw it happen. I'm sorry, but we couldn't do anything." "Does she really hate me? Have I been so bad? All I've tried to do is make things easy on her. I wanna hold her and make the pain of whatever she's feelin' go away!" "I know, Ben, I know." Margaret had guided Ben back into the room and sat next to him on the bottom of the bed. "I love her, Mom. What have I done wrong?" "You haven't done anything wrong, Ben. It's not easy to explain." "I know it's postnatal blues, or something, but what can I do?" "If she won't talk to you nothing. Let me try. I've brought her though it before." "Thanks, Mom, but it should be me." "Ben, listen! You're not hearing what I'm telling you! You can't help her because she doesn't want you to." "But I promised her that I would take care of her." "All the promises in the world won't fix this if she won't let you. Let me try, Ben, please!" Ben nodded his head. "I'll go and calm Jess down. I'll be there if you want me." Feeling helpless and dejected he walked from the room. Margaret knocked on the locked door to the bathroom. "Michaela? It's Mum, open the door, darling, please" her voice was gentle.
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The door clicked open and Mikie stood, tears streaming down her face causing her make-up to leave black streaks down her cheeks. "Oh! Mum! I'm sorry! I don't know what to do! I can't handle this! I just can't!" She felt like a failure. Like everything she tried with the baby did not work. She could not pacify her or get her into any routine. "Come and tell me." Margaret took her daughter's hand and led her to sit where Ben had been only a few seconds before. "It's Jess! I'm so nervous with her! I love her so much, but I'm so scared when I'm with her!" "You're thinking that you have to do everything yourself. Don't shut Ben out he loves you." "I know! He doesn't really think I hate him, does he?" "Of course not! He loves you dearly and he wants to help. But you have to let him!" "How can I let him take my responsibility away?" "Jessica is his baby too, he needs to feel part of it." Mikie thought about what her mother had said. Whenever Jessica cried, Mikie went to her. She realised that she had not let anyone else help her. In the two weeks since she had been born, she could not remember the last time Ben had held the baby. "Oh, Mum! He must be gutted!" Mikie realised that she had been pushing Ben away from her. "No! He loves you too much to have noticed yet. He's in the nursery." Margaret stood up. "I'll wait here." Mikie dried her eyes and walked from her room into the nursery across the hallway. Ben was lying on the floor with the baby on the floor in front of him. He had his back to the door and did not hear Mikie enter the room. "Mommy loves you, Jess. You have to believe that." Mikie felt the pain shoot through her heart as she listened to
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what Ben was saying. She walked softly and sat down next to him. "Oh, Ben! I'm so sorry!" she sobbed. "I didn't mean to shut you out! I need help but I'm too proud to ask for it!" Ben rolled onto his back. "You shouldn't need to ask! I should be able to see. Both of the last times you had babies you were on your own. You're not now. I'm here to help. Jess is my baby too. She knows you love her. I tell her often enough." Mikie was surprised by that. "When?" "Who d'you think gets up in the middle of the night when she starts screaming blue murder?" "But I do!" "Yeah! And so do I! she wakes up at least three times a night, darlin'!" "So how come I don't hear her?" "'Cause I turn the volume down on the intercom. You need more sleep than I do!" Mikie leaned forward and kissed her husband with a passion that she had almost forgotten. "Whoa! Careful! I might just need to take you up on that." Ben grinned at her. "You really are superman! My superman! I didn't realise that you did so much. Thank you." "Don't thank me. I got you pregnant. I help with the consequences." She realised that the baby had fallen asleep. "Look at her, oblivious to the trouble she causes." Ben picked her from the floor and put her into her crib. He stood behind Mikie as she looked down on the sleeping child. "I love you, Mikie Jordan." He whispered into her ear. "And I love all of our kids." He kissed her ear. "I know, Ben. I love you too." she twisted round in his
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arms. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. I didn't mean what I said." "You don't need to apologise. I understand. Just tell me when things get bad, will you?" "Mmm" She nodded then put her arms round his neck and kissed him. "Come on! She'll sleep for hours now and we have guests. Unless you want me to ask them to leave?" Ben's eyes were sparkling. "No that's okay. I'll be fine." Mikie assured him. "Don't ever change, Ben." "I'll try not to." Mikie and Ben found Margaret still sitting on their bed. "Thanks, Mum." They said together. "Happy to help." Margaret replied. Mikie and Ben returned to the party after Mikie had redone her make-up. It was two in the morning when they finally fell, exhausted into their bed. They had got into the habit of sleeping with their backs to each other but tonight they slept, entwined in each others arms, contented. "Mom! Dad! Wake up!" Ben opened one eye and looked at Greg over Mikie's head. "Go away Greg." he said sleepily. "But it's Christmas!" Greg was hopping from foot to foot. "You have to come see!" "It's no good, Ben we'll have to get up he won't give in till we do." Mikie spoke into Ben's chest. "Okay! Okay! Okay! Just five more minutes, Greg, please?" "It won't work, darling, he means it." "Come on! You'll miss it!" Greg was shouting. "Greg! Please. I've got a headache." Mikie said. "But Mom!" "We're coming. Now scoot!" Ben said sharply. "Does he have to be this bright every morning?" Ben said when Greg had
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ran from the room. "He's nine." "Oh! That explains it then." he kissed the top of Mikie's head. "Love you." he said then untangled her from his arms. "You go see what he wants and I'll stay here and keep the bed warm." Mikie said. "Oh no you don't! if I have to get up then so do you." he tugged the sheets from the bed and threw them on the floor. "Ben!" "No! Get up." he handed her the robe from the chair at the side of the bed. "Come on." They walked downstairs hand in hand. Mikie was not sure whether it was because they loved each other or because they both needed the stability. The scene that greeted them was chaos. There were parcels and wrappings all over the floor. Harry was sitting on the big armchair opening a parcel for Greg who was sitting on his knee. Brett had Jess and was doing the same. Tara was sitting in the middle of a huge pile of parcels. "Where on gods earth did this lot come from?" Mikie was astounded. "From Santa! Where d'you think?" Ben whispered. "I'd like to shake Santa by the hand." she said. "That's not what Santa would like to do to you." Ben smirked. "Ben!" Mikie walked into the middle of the room and sat down on the floor. "Okay then! Where's mine?" She looked around the faces who were all looking at her, puzzled. Ben was standing with his hand over his open mouth looking horrified. "Well?" Mikie said. "But there aren't any, Mom. I've looked. I was first up so I should know." Greg looked at her in all innocence. Mikie knew
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her son was incapable of lying. "Oh! Come on, guys. Stop messing about." Mikie was very disappointed. "Mikie! Darling! Sweetheart! I really don't know how to say this, but er. I .. er." Ben was horrified. "You forgot?" Mikie said quietly. "You didn't buy me anything?" "I'm so sorry, darling! I I don't know what to say!" Ben hung his head in shame. "The only thing I could find is this." Tara handed her mother an envelope. Mikie sat and stared at it then looked round the room from Ben to Harry to Margaret to Brett to Greg to Tara to Ali to Jess to Beth and finally back to Ben. "How could you?" "Maybe you should just open that, Mum." Ali spoke softly to her mother. "It's better than nothing at all." Mikie slowly opened the envelope. She was expecting to find a Christmas card inside, instead there was a photograph, a map and a small piece of paper folded in two. 'Happy Christmas to my darling wife, with all my heart and all my love, Ben' Mikie slowly read the note out loud. "What is this?" "Look at it." Ben said, grinning at her. The photo showed a large log building with a small wood next to it and a lake behind. The map had a circle drawn on it and showed an area of southern Oregon. "I still don't know what it's supposed to be." She had several thoughts but could not decide which was the most probable. "Mikie. It's a ranch. It's just over the border in Oregon. You didn't really think I'd forget to buy you a Christmas present, did you?" Ben was looking at her with his beaming smile. "You bought me a Ranch.?" she was astonished. Ben sat down on the floor beside her. "I bought you a ranch. It's for all of us really, I went up there to see it a couple of
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months ago and I fell in love with it. It reminds me of Millbank." he said with satisfaction. "When did you go and see it? you've never been away." "Okay. So I lied. I told you I was in L.A. I wasn't I was in Oregon." The expression on his face had not changed, he was still smiling broadly. "Thank you. It's great. It's the best Christmas present I've ever had." She flung her arms round him. "It's certainly the most expensive." He said ryely. Ben was suddenly aware that Mikie was crying. "Hey. You're not supposed to cry. It's only a house with some land and a lake." "It's not that. Fool. It's because I was so horrible to you last night." "We sorted that out. Don't keep going over it. Forget it, please." "I can't. I saw how hurt you were." "But you kissed it and made it better." he whispered. "And it's all forgotten now." The room was quiet for about ten seconds. "Thanks darling. It really is the best Christmas present I've ever had." "There's something missing." Ben said loudly. "I can't remember what it is. Maybe if Greg and Tara look in the den." The two children ran into the sitting room. "A bike. Daddy bought us a bike." Tara shouted. The family had followed the children and were standing just outside the sitting room door. "This is great. Thanks Daddy." Greg shouted. "Your mom wrote the note to Santa." Ben said quickly. The children smiled at their mother. As the others drifted back to the lounge Mikie took hold of Ben's hand and led him into the den. "Come in here a minute, Ben, I want to tell you something." She sat him down on the sofa,
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sat on his knee and put her arms round his neck. "I love you Bennett Jordan. I know you know it. I just need to tell you." "I know. You're the most precious thing in my life, Mikie. I just want you to be as happy as I am." "I want you to take me upstairs, away from the world and just hold me close." She whispered. The idea sounded good but he knew they had to stay with the family. "Sweetheart we can't." They rejoined their family. Brett had brought a pile of parcels from behind the sofa and gave them to his mother. She opened each one and examined the contents. Ben was busy unwrapping the pile of parcels that Ali had handed to him. He came across a small parcel and opened it, it was empty. He checked the floor to find the contents of the little box. "You'll not find it." Mikie said, looking amused. "Why not?" "Because I couldn't find a box big enough, so I got the smallest one I could get." "Now who's confused?" he scratched his head. "I'll show you, come on." She took him through the kitchen and into the garage. When she turned on the light it revealed a yellow Mercedes convertible sports car wrapped in a white ribbon. "Mikie. You didn't." "I did. You bought me a house, I bought you a car. D'you like it?" "I love it. Why yellow?" "Isn't yellow your favourite colour? Have the colour changed if you don't like it." She said quickly. "Oh no. I do. It's just that most people would go for red." "I'm not most people. Does it remind you of anything?" "It does, but I'm not sure what." "Something that you like the look and feel of?"
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After thinking for a few seconds Ben remembered Mikie in his favourite lingerie. "Mikie! You clever girl. It's always gonna remind me of you." "Why what's small and yellow?" Tara asked. "Ask me when you're eighteen, honey and I might tell you." Ben patted Tara's head. "That's not fair." "It's not, is it? but it's all you're gonna get." Mikie said.
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CHAPTER 18 The rest of Christmas day sailed along with various visitors coming to the house and Mikie and Ben going to visit their neighbours. The festive dinner was cooked expertly by Beth with the help of Mikie, Margaret, Ali and Brett. Ben and Harry spent the day keeping Tara, Greg and the baby happy. "Mikie, darlin'? Do we have any more diapers?" Ben was looking round the kitchen door. "In the changing unit in the nursery." Beth replied. "No. Looked there!" "You're joking." Mikie dried her hands. "There have to be some." "Well if there are, I can't find them." "I'll look." She followed Ben out of the kitchen and went up to the nursery. She searched the room, but could not find one disposable nappy anywhere. "But I got some two days ago. We couldn't possibly have used them all by now. I wonder if Kelly has any spare?" "I'll go and find out. This has got me puzzled." Ben shrugged. He went next door to their neighbour Kelly who had a four month old boy. He came back with an unopened pack. Mikie, puzzled by the missing nappies had gone to check the other rooms. She found Tara and Greg sitting on the floor surrounded by opened nappies which they were attempting to put on their teddy bears. "Tara. We've been looking everywhere for those nappies!" "Oh. Have you? You should have asked." Tara was concentrating on what she was doing. "We thought that if we practice we'll be able to help with Jess more." Greg said. Mikie bit her lip to stop the tears rolling down her face.
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Ben sent the children down stairs. He held Mikie close. "Are you okay?" She shook her head. "I guess I've been pretty terrible to them too." "They'll get over it. They help me when you're asleep. They understand." After the meal the children went to bed at nine thirty, exhausted. Tara had fallen asleep on Ben's knee and he carried her up to her bed. Brett had put Greg to bed and Ali had put the baby in her crib. Mikie had stayed downstairs with her parents and Beth. "It's been quite a day." Harry said leaning back into the sofa. "I'm sorry about last night, I was just being stupid." Mikie spoke to no one in particular. "It's all forgotten. Anyway no one took any notice. I think your guests were too busy enjoying themselves to notice that you were missing." Margaret assured her. "We know what it's like Mikie. If you need help you only have to ask." It was Beth who gave her employer and friend the reassurance that they were willing to help. "Thanks. All of you. If I'd have gone on much longer I think I may have pushed Ben passed his limits." "I don't have a limit where you're concerned." Ben was standing at the back of the sofa having come into the room behind her. "Everyone has limits, Ben and I was well aware that you could crack at any minute." "Nah! I've shouted at Glen a couple of times but I'd never shout at you." "Poor Glen." Mikie said, sarcastically. Ben knew that there was no love lost between his wife and his employee. "Don't be a cat, darling." Ben said sitting down next to her. Harry handed him a glass, he took a drink and looked round the
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room. "It's awfully quiet, all of a sudden." "Shhh! Don't tempt fate." Beth smiled. "Well, I'm beat. I'll see you in the morning." She got up and left. "That's me done in, too." Harry said. "You coming, Maggie?" Margaret kissed Mikie then Ben "Good night you two." The room was even more quiet the only sound being the flames from the fire. They sat and watched the flames dance. Mikie snuggled closer into Ben. "We'll go up to the ranch for new year, if you like." He said softly. "Yeah. I would. Thank you, Ben, for everything." "Your welcome. Anything for my gal." She smiled at him and hugged him. "I will get over these stupid feelings, I have to for Jess's sake." "We, darling we. I'm in this too. Don't shut me out, Mik, it hurts." Ben voiced his feelings. Mikie was shocked. "Oh, Ben. I'm sorry. The last thing on my mind was hurting you. I didn't think you'd noticed." "How could you think that? You turned your back on me in our bed. Didn't you think I'd be hurt?" "Ben, I." He put his fingers against her mouth to stop her from speaking. "Don't say it. It's finished. Let's just chalk it up to experience, hu?" "Okay but if I ever do it again, you'll tell me, won't you?" "I'll tell you. Come on. Its been a long day." For the first time in three weeks Ben picked Mikie up and carried her to their bed. She stood up and stepped just out of his reach. She undid the skirt she was wearing and let it fall to the floor. He watched her as she slowly undid the buttons of her blouse. When she let it fall from her shoulders she was wearing
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the same lemon body suit that she had worn on the night of their wedding. Ben's eyes were wide. "Wow. It doesn't matter how often I see you in that, it knocks me out every time." His face was lit with the love that was racing through his body. She fell into his arms and he kissed her and made sure she knew just how much he loved her. "Love me, Ben. Love me." she whispered. "Don't you think it's too soon?" "Ben. Don't spoil it." "I'm sorry but it needed to be said. I don't want to hurt you." "Ben. I love you. It'll be okay." "Andrew told you to take it easy, I think, maybe we should listen to him." "But Ben." "Mikie. You had a baby three weeks ago." "I don't need reminding." "I think, my darling, that you do. And so do I. You're carrying me along with you." "But Ben. You can't do this." "I think I'd better go and sleep in the spare room." Ben sat Mikie down on the end of the bed and started walking from the room. "Ben Jordan. You leave me now and you'll be sorry." "Mikie. If I stay it'll be worse." Ben had an angry look on his face. Mikie was staring at him confused and bewildered. "I give in, Ben." She whispered. "But please don't go. I need you to hold me." She looked at him with a pained expression. "Just as long as you know, I'm not gonna make love to you." "Okay. Just hold me." She had melted his heart. He knew that he was clay in her hands and she could mould him to whatever shape she wanted.
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But he also knew that he could not give into her, this time. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to do but he refused to give in. When they woke the following morning it was after ten. "Why haven't we been woken? Have they all disappeared?" Mikie whispered. "I don't know. It's weird." Ben concluded. They pulled on their robes and went downstairs. The house was empty. The big family car was missing from the garage and there was a note held to the front of the fridge by a magnet. 'Mum, gone out for the day be back about five.' It was Brett's writing. "Great. The whole day to ourselves." Ben said. "I think I'll go to the office." "You're not serious? You can't." Mikie was perplexed. "Why not? It's not a holiday today. I should go in." "You're the boss, Ben." "I know. Okay." He relented. "What d'you wanna do?" "Shopping." "What?" "Shopping. If we're going to the ranch we'll need some cold weather clothing." "I'd forgotten about that. Shopping it is then." They took Ben's new car and spent the day wandering round the large shopping mall in central San Francisco. Mikie spent well over four thousand dollars on clothes, towels and other things she thought they might need. At three o'clock they found themselves out side the ice-cream parlour at the foot of Ben's office building. "Now how d'you suppose we ended up here?" Ben enquired. "Its habit. We always have ice-cream at this time. Why break a habit?" "Mmm..! okay but it's my turn to choose." Ben held the door open for her.
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"Ever the gentleman. Thank you, darling." Ben knew Mikie was being sarcastic. but let it pass. "Triple chocolate with hot fudge sauce." Ben said to Doreen the waitress. "Knows how to treat you right, he does, doesn't he Mikie?" The African/American woman said, chuckling, in her unmistakable southern States accent. "He sure does, Doreen, he sure does!" Mikie was smiling affectionately at her husband. Doreen returned with their order and set it down on the table. "No family today?" "My parents are here for the holiday, they've taken them out somewhere." Mikie replied. "Well your peace and quiet just ended. Here they come." she said. Greg and Tara burst through the door and ran towards Mikie and Ben. "We knew you would be here. I told Gran'ma, I don't think she believed me. But I knew." Greg was out of breath. "We needed ice-cream and Granddad didn't know where to get it. so we brought him here." Tara said, panting. The rest of the family caught up. When they had finished their ice-cream, Margaret asked Mikie how their day had been. "Thanks, Mum. It's been great. We've bought a few things to take to the ranch with us." Mikie informed her mother. "A few things? Buying half of Cacy's is a few things?" Ben looked at Mikie with raised eyebrows. "I didn't buy that much, just things we're gonna need." "I know Mikie's idea of a few things, Ben." Harry was chuckling. "I'll tend to believe you when you say it was half the store." "Go on. Gang up on me." "Darlin', a few things is toothpaste, soap and towels. You've
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spent four and a half thousand dollar's on 'a few things'." Ben was amused. "Don't make it better, Ben I'll manage without you, thanks." Mikie glared at him. They left the ice-cream parlour and headed back to the cars. "D'you want us to take a couple of the kids, Harry?" Ben asked when they got to the underground garage. "No it's fine! Why don't you two go out somewhere for dinner? We'll look after this lot!" "Thanks, Harry, that's a great idea!" Ben beamed at him. "Don't I have a say in this?" Mikie had stopped just behind Ben. "No! Do as you're told and go and have a night out with your husband." Harry looked sternly at his daughter. "Oh great! I've got nothing to wear." Mikie's protest fell on deaf ears. "Can I come?" Greg asked expectantly. "No. You come home with us, Greg. We'll watch that new video we bought this afternoon." Margaret was as tactful as ever. "Okay, Gran'ma!" Greg was happy to do what his Grandmother had told him. All of the shopping was loaded into the family car and Harry drove off leaving Mikie and Ben standing near Ben's car. "As for having nothing to wear." Ben opened the small trunk of the car and produced a small suitcase. "we can go up to the office and get changed." he grinned. "You planned this?" "No! Spur of the moment thing." He grinned. "Of course we planned it! Who d'you think suggested your parents taking the kids out today?" "Ben you're a marvel! This is just what I need." "I know. Come on." he took hold of her hand and took her into the office building and walked to the lift.
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Mikie's office was on the top floor of the fifteen storey building. The view was breathtaking. From one window, most of the city could be seen and from the other, there was a view passed the bridge and out into the harbour. On a clear day there was a grim view of the famous Alcatraz island, with its forbidding outline of the disused prison. Ben picked up the phone on Mikie's desk and spoke into it. "Can you send up that guy now Jerry, please?" "What guy?" Mikie asked. "Oh, I just thought that we could have dinner here." "You sent out for dinner? When?" "This morning. If I plan something I do it right. You should know that by now." "Do I need to change?" "Wouldn't be much point. The case is empty." Ben grinned. Dinner arrived three minutes later. Four courses, Italian. The wine turned out to be champagne. "Thanks, Ben! It's been a wonderful day. I really do love you." "I know. You don't need to thank me. I only do things 'cause I love you." He kissed her. They were dancing to the music playing softly from the stereo. "When I said the suitcase was empty, I lied." Ben whispered. "Oh. So what's in it?" Mikie asked looking at the gleam in his eye. "Have a look." Mikie opened the case and found a box wrapped with a red ribbon. When she opened the box she found a body suit. Similar to Ben's favourite lemon one, but black. "It's lovely." "But I'm not sure it'll fit, you'll have to try it on." "What here? What about Jerry and Al? They do their
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rounds you know." Mikie was trying to make her protest convincing. "Not tonight. This floor is off limits." Ben was looking at her with lust in his eyes. She left him and went into the small bathroom. When she emerged in the doorway Ben was sitting on the big leather sofa looking at her. "Oh, lord, Mikie! You look fantastic!" "Does this mean I'm gonna have to buy you another car?" she grinned walking towards him. "No! it's okay. The car I've got is fine." He stood up and put down the glass he was holding. He took her in his arms and kissed her with such a passion that she thought they would burst into flames. "What about waiting? You said it was too soon last night." Mikie said. "I spoke to Andrew." "Broadcast all the intimate details, why don't you." "He's your doctor. He said it would be fine." They made love for hours. Ben left her in no doubt that he loved her more with every passing day. They laughed and cried with the moment and then lay quietly in each others arms on the big sofa. "We should get back, Ben." Mikie said quietly. "Why? We can stay here if you like. I'm sure Mom and Dad will cope with the kids." Ben's tone was matter of fact. "I feel like I'm running away from my responsibilities." "You're not. This was your mother's suggestion. She reckoned that you needed a break, mother's know these things so I wasn't gonna argue." "I'm sorry. I don't mean to spoil things. It's just that I want to go and see how the kids are, I miss them." "Okay we'll go home, if that's what you want." Ben kissed
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her. "Thank you." "For what?" "For being you. For being the mother of my children. For being my wife. But most of all for being the best lover I've ever had." "You're welcome." Mikie beamed at him. They left the office building at two forty-five in the morning. The house was in darkness as they came in through the kitchen door. They tip-toed slowly through the lounge and out into the hall. Greg was sitting on the stairs. "Hey, sport! What're you doin' up?" Ben said to the little boy as he stood up. "I was just waiting." Greg sounded subdued. "For us to come home?" "I didn't think you would." The little boy started to cry. "Hey. Don't cry, Greg. Of course we'll come home. We love you." Ben picked him up and hugged him. "Jack didn't come home." Greg sobbed. "But we'll always come home, Greg, we promise." Ben hugged him. "Come on. Back to bed." They took Greg and tucked him safely into his bed, kissed him and went into their own bedroom. "Before you say anything, Mikie, I'm sorry. I guess you were right. We should have been home." "Don't feel guilty for wanting me to yourself for a few hours, Ben. Greg will be fine." She kissed Ben and went into the bathroom to shower. When she emerged he was gone. She went to look for him. She found him asleep on the chair in the nursery with Jess in his arms. She gently took the baby from him and put her back into her crib. "Ben. Ben." She shook him gently. "Mmm What?" he was disorientated when he opened
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his eyes. "Shhh. It's okay, come on let's get you to bed." she took his hand and led him back to their bed.
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CHAPTER 19 They had decided to drive the five hundred or so miles to the ranch. They set off very early in the morning in the ten seat van that Ben had bought to drive his family round in. The scenery was stunning as they drove up through the mountains of northern California. It was almost eleven in the evening when they finally reached their destination. Ben had taken a wrong turning and had taken them thirty miles in the wrong direction before they realised. "He's good at getting lost." Mikie had said to an exasperated Ali when she complained. "Thanks. This is the first time I've done this by road." Ben defended himself. "D'you want me to drive for a while?" Mikie had asked him. "No. I've got us lost I'll get us back to the right road." He was tired and starting to get irritable. "Yeah, but it'll be easier if I drive and you give me directions, Ben." Mikie was aware of his irritability and was trying to help. "Next time I'll come on the bus." Tara stated indignantly. "Next time you'll get left at home." Brett had said sharply to his sister. "Whoa. Hold it. don't start fighting. I know everyone's tired and I'm sorry. We'll get there." Ben tried to defuse the situation. "It is a good idea for you to drive, darlin', I'll navigate." That had been two hours before and the sight of the house had brought whoops of delight from the children. Once everyone was settled into rooms, Mikie had made some hot chocolate for the adults. "This is a great place, Ben, you knew what you were doing buying it." Harry complemented his son-in law. "I came across it by chance. I didn't think I'd get it, so I was surprised when I got the papers to sign." Ben was feeling very pleased with himself. "Wait till you see it in day light."
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"Yes well. That can wait. I'm going to bed." Margaret announced. "Mmmm! Good idea." Mikie agreed. Harry and Margaret left the room first. Ben caught his wife's arm as she passed him. "I'm sorry I got us lost." "We're here now. Anyway half the fun of going somewhere new is getting lost." He stood and held her to him. "Thanks. I needed that." "It's true. Come on. It's been a long day." They spent a week getting to know the ranch which was nestled in a valley between Ashland and Medford. Mikie discovered that they had also employed three ranch-hands who looked after the large expanse of land and also the twelve horses. There were many surprises during the week's stay one of which was that the lake was vast and there was a boat that they could take out. Ben was also surprised to find out that the ranch earned money by renting out cabins and through fishing rights to the lake. The three men who were employed on the ranch were pleasant, hard working men who had lived in the area most of their lives and knew the territory. Jake Calhoon, the senior ranch-hand, showed the family round the land. He paid great attention to detail and impressed Ben so much that he decided to give him an increase in salary. "There's no need for that, Mr Jordan, we survive. That's really all you need do 'round here." Jake had said when Ben had called him into the ranch office. "Well, I disagree. I pay a man what he's worth and you're worth more than you've been getting for the last five years." "Well, I guess I'll not argue with you. I have to say, it wasn't what I was expectin' you to do. You being the new boss, an' all." Jake stood six feet tall. He was in his late forties with the dark skin tone of a Native American Indian.
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Jake's wife, Jannette, was a small, slim woman, quietly spoken with a gentle manner. She had taken a shine to Greg and Tara the moment she set eyes on them. "You have lovely children, Ms Jordan." She had said to Mikie. "Thank you. Please, Jannette, call me Mikie." Mikie knew she was going to get on well with Jake and Jannette. The other two men were Jake's brother Dan and Sam Garzalez. Both of them lived on the ranch with their respective families. The winter sun shone for most of the week and the children had great fun getting to know the horses. Ben planned to expand the ranch business by building more cabins around the shore of the lake and put Jake in charge of that side of things. "I'd like you to be a manager, Jake. Make the ranch work. I'm guessing that we'll only be able to come up here about five or six times a year, so I'll need someone I can rely on." Ben, Jake, Dan and Sam were sitting in the office drinking coffee. "Dan, you're good with the horses so, I guess, you'll be in charge of that. And Sam I'd like you to take care of the general landscape. Make sure fences are kept up to scratch, that sort of thing." All the men had agreed. "There's just a couple of things, Mr Jordan." Jake had said. "Sure, just name them. And, please, call me Ben." "Okay. If you want the ranch to work, it's gonna need extra hands." "Of course, Jake. If you need more people, then hire them. You're the manager, just don't take on more than the ranch will pay for. I suppose that the work will be seasonal?" "It can be, if you want it that way." Dan had suggested. "Well I don't really know. I'm relying on you three telling me, you know this country better than I do." "Give me till summer, Ben, July or August and you'll see the
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improvement around here. The last guy only wanted a weekend retreat, so business has fallen off to what it was when I started working here." Jake was enthusiastic about his new role. "If you think you only need until then, then you got it. I'll be more than happy with that. I'll get my lawyer back in San Francisco to draw up some new contracts and send them up. If there's anything you don't agree with, just let me know. You'll all find I'm a fair man. I think, gentlemen, we're gonna get along just fine." The four men shook hands on their new deal. Ben went into the main house to tell his family the news. "Can we come back in the summer, Dad?" Greg had asked excitedly. "Sure we can, we can come up here whenever we want to, it's ours." Ben had picked Greg up and swung him round. "That's great. I'll be able to tell all my friends." Tara was just as excited as her brother. They decided to return home on Friday. On the Thursday evening when everyone else had gone to bed, Mikie and Ben were sitting on the porch looking out across the lake. They were sitting on a long wooden seat that ran from the end of the porch to the door. The porch was closed in with a fine mesh to keep insects at bay during the hot summer months. Mikie had drifted far away in her mind. She remembered the first time she stood on the tarmac at San Francisco Airport. The freedom she felt. The anticipation and excitement. Her mind drifted to Jack. The dark, handsome Californian who had swept her up in a whirlwind and then dropped her like a stone. She had come so far since then. She was much stronger now. She thought of her mother's words when she returned home after the marriage had ended. 'Don't worry, sweetheart! I'm sure you'll find someone special.'
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'I'm not sure I want to look, to be honest. I think I'll just spend the rest of my life on my own. Self preservation, mum. Right now I couldn't even define what someone special means.' She smiled at the memory. Then she remembered her terror at the hands of Adam. His actions had made her wary of men. Then she smiled again when she remembered the first time she set eyes on Ben in the Fox Hunt Inn. Ben the man who had restored her faith. The man who gives her unconditional love. The man at her side at this very moment. "Penny for them." Ben said looking at Mikie's far away look. "Worth more than a penny." She smiled. "I was just thinking that life can't possibly get any better than this." "It's pretty special, that's for sure. This place has brought a lot of surprises." "So have you." "Have I?" "I know this sounds clich, Ben, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I suppose I'm waiting for something to come along and spoil it." He pulled her closer to him. "Don't wait for things that will never happen, Mikie." "It's a habit. Unjustifiable, but a habit none the less." "Well I'm just gonna have to break you out of the habit then, aren't I?" "We'll see. It may take a long time. There's an old saying that a habit is 'a second to make and a lifetime to break'." They sat for another hour looking at the still water of the lake, listening to the sounds of nature around them. "I think we'd better go to bed." Ben said quietly. "We've got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow." "Mmmm!" Mikie wanted to stay just where she was, forever. Lost in this new world they had found, far from the troubles of the city and the life that waited for their return. "Five more
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minutes, Ben." "No, come on, Mrs Jordan. You need your sleep." Ben picked her up, as usual and carried her to their bedroom. The day dawned bright and fresh. Margaret made breakfast while Mikie sorted out the children. "Where's Greg?" She asked Tara. "How should I know? I'm not his keeper!" Tara said indignantly. "I heard that, young lady. Don't you use that tone of voice with your mother." Ben glared at Tara. "I'm sorry, but I don't know where he is." Tara hung her head. "I'll go and look for him, he'll not be far." Brett strode out of the kitchen and set off in the direction of the stables to look for Greg. Greg was not in the stables. Nor in the boathouse. Brett asked Jannette if she had seen him. The reply was no. Jake, Dan and Sam had not seen him either. "I think we have a problem." Brett said running into the house. "I can't find him." "Marvellous!" Mikie shouted. "He won't be far, darlin' we'll find him." Ben said brightly. "He knows we're leaving soon! If he doesn't come quickly, he'll get left behind!" Ben was puzzled by Mikie's over-loud voice. "I mean, there's no ice-cream parlour up here and he'll miss out on all his favourites!" "I'm here! I'm coming home! I wanted to stay, but not if there's no ice-cream!" Greg came sheepishly out from the big store room that ran off the kitchen. "Greg! You shouldn't do that to us. We were worried!" Tara had marched up to her brother and was about to slap his face when Ben caught her hand. "That'll be enough of that, thank you." Ben said. "As I
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remember it, you said you didn't know where he was 'cause you're not his keeper." "That doesn't mean I wasn't worried." "Do you think we can have breakfast?" Mikie enquired. In the car during the journey back Ben asked Mikie how she had known where Greg was. "He never goes very far from Tara. Where Tara is, you'll find Greg." "Oh!" Ben thought about Mikie's words. Looking back over all the times he had looked for either Greg or Tara, he had always found them together. There was a mountain of mail waiting for them when they finally reached home. "You're not gonna look at any of that now, are you?" Ben had said looking surprised at Mikie. "No, I'm gonna leave it until tomorrow morning. I'm tired and right now all I want is my bed."
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CHAPTER 20 They settled back into their life with ease. Margaret and Harry had taken Brett and Ali back to England with them for the start of the new school term. Greg and Tara went back to school with Ben falling into his familiar routine of dropping them at school in the morning and Beth bringing them to his office in the afternoon. Mikie had returned to work, taking Jess with her and leaving her in the crche for most of the day. She often found Ben sitting on the floor playing with the babies and small children of their employees. Mikie had set up the crche when Tara and Greg were born and employees from the surrounding offices brought their pre-school aged children to be looked after there. "You missed your calling. You should've been a nanny." Mikie had said finding Ben for the first time, in the large room that housed the crche. "Hi. It's great here. I came to see Jess, but she's asleep." He stood up from the floor and came over to where Mikie was standing. "Have you got time for coffee?" "I'll make time, if its having coffee with you." She put her arm round Ben's waist and they went up to her office. They spent nearly an hour together. Chatting about problems they were having in their respective businesses. Ben enjoyed bouncing ideas off Mikie. She usually came up with a different point of view for him to consider. He gave her weekly reports on the work at the ranch. Their coffee break was interrupted by Joyce, Mikie's personal assistant. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were here, Ben. Mikie your lunch appointment is here." "Hell's teeth! Is that the time.?" As Mikie jumped to her feet she knocked the cup Ben was holding and sent coffee cascading over him. She stood, horrified looking at the damage she had caused.
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Ben sat paralysed. "This is my only shirt, Mikie! I've got a lunch appointment, too!" "I'm so sorry, Ben! I should be more careful, I'll send someone out for a new shirt for you." "Don't bother I'll manage!" Ben snapped at her. He was wondering how she could be so clumsy. Mikie stood and looked at her husband and was confused by his sudden anger. "Ben, I said I'm sorry. It was an accident." She said slowly and quietly. "You really should be more careful!" he stood up, glaring at her. "I'll get you a shirt, Ben, there are some in the stores." Joyce said quickly, leaving the office. "Ben, this is more than spilt coffee. What's wrong?" Mikie was concerned. She did not like to see her husband act like this. "You send hot coffee over me and expect me to be pleased? I'm gonna be late, now. Thanks!" He stormed out of the office leaving Mikie staring after him. The lunch appointment was with a property tycoon whom Mikie had asked to help with some fund-raising events. She struggled to keep her mind on the meeting which was in the boardroom of the Millbank building. Parker Michaelson was one of the biggest snobs that Mikie had ever met. He was a self made billionaire, who had made his money by using people. He was also extremely generous and had promised to fund a house for runaways and neglected kids. Mikie made the meeting as short as possible. "I really appreciate all that you're doing, Parker, I'll have the paperwork drawn up and sent over. Thank you, once again." "Well! Thank you, little lady, for askin' me to help! Anything for the kids, it's what I say to Missy!" Parker spoke in a slow Texan drawl. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon, Parker, but I really do have
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to go. I have another meeting!" "You work too hard, Michaela! You should take it slow, like me. I didn't get where I am today by rushin' all over the place." "I'll remember that, Parker, but now I must go. Good bye!" Mikie practically ran out of the boardroom and along to the bank of lifts in the centre of the building. On the ground floor she hurried across the lobby and out across the square that led to Ben's building. She hurried towards the lift but was stopped by a security guard. "Excuse me, ma'am! But you'll need to sign in!" he stood in front of her blocking the way. "I'm here to see Mr Jordan! It's important!" She was out of breath. "That's as may be, but you'll still need a visitors pass, ma'am!" he insisted. "Are you out of you're mind? Do you know who I am?" "You could be the Queen of England, but you'll still need a visitors pass, ma'am!" Mikie glared at him in disbelief. She turned on her heals and marched towards the reception desk. "Michael! Who is this incompetent oaf.?" She shouted to the uniformed guard in the small office behind the reception desk. Michael Samson was a muscular built thirty six year old who was head of building security. "Is there a problem, Mizz Jordan?" Michael looked surprised. "A big one. Namely this fool who won't let me pass without a visitors badge." "I'm sorry. Mizz Jordan. He's new." "That is no excuse for anything, Michael. Can I go up now?" "You could but Mr Jordan has gone out." Michael pointed out. "I don't think he's coming back today." "He must be. He won't miss his three thirty with the kids."
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Mikie was now very confused and very worried. "He said he wouldn't be back this afternoon, ma'am." Michael was sympathetic to Mikie's plight but could only tell her what Ben had told him. "Thanks Michael, I guess it'll have to wait. Did he say where he was going?" "No, ma'am, just that he wouldn't be back." "Fine. Thanks. Do something about the gorilla will you?" "Yes, ma'am." Michael smiled at her. Mikie walked slowly from the building. When she got off the lift on the fifteenth floor she walked slowly in the opposite direction to her office. She went into the kitchen and over to the coffee machine. After pouring a cup she walked slowly to her office at the other side of the building. She did not notice the open door but walked straight to her desk. The big, black leather chair was facing the window, she turned it round and found Ben smiling at her. "Hi. I came to say sorry." He said softly "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, d'you forgive me?" "Why, Ben? It's more than spilt coffee. What's going on?" She looked hurt and confused. "I'm in trouble, Mik. I should have told you days ago, I thought I could sort it out, but I can't." "What sort of trouble?" "There are files going missing, big client files. I think at lease two of them have had their security compromised. I did an investigation and I can't find out how it's happening. If it continues I'll lose everything." Ben's face was etched with worry. Alan Stedman, one of the Security Administrators in Ben's company, had spoken to Ben when files seemed to be going missing. Alan was concerned that someone in the company was leaking information to a rival company. The sales team had been beaten to four large contracts and Jordan Security had lost two
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big contracts in the previous three months. "Oh, Ben. We'll sort it out together. You only need ask." Mikie held her husband close to her. "I knew it was more than coffee. It hurt when you shouted." "I know, I'm sorry, darlin' it won't happen again, promise." Ben spoke into Mikie's hair. "Lets get over to your office and see if we can't come up with something." "Aren't you busy, this afternoon?" "Yep. Trying to sort your mess out." she smiled at him. "What about your own appointments?" "Oh. I'll cancel those. Come on." She took Ben by the hand and led him from the office. "Joyce, something has come up and I have to go out. Can you reschedule my afternoon appointments please?" "Of course, Mikie." Joyce looked up from her typing. When they arrived in the Jordan Stanmore Security Building, Mikie and Ben walked across the lobby. The same security guard that Mikie had had the trouble with approached. "I'm sorry, sir, ma'am. You'll need to sign in and take a visitors pass." "Excuse me?" Ben was amused. "It's for security, sir. You'll need to sign in." "You're new here? First day?" Ben asked. "Yes sir." "What's your name?" "Mulligan, sir, Jed Mulligan." Mulligan looked bemused. "Uh-hu. And you have no idea who you're speaking to?" Ben raised his eyebrows. "No, sir. That's why you need to sign in." Mulligan was a jobs-worth. "Where is Michael?" "Gone for lunch, sir."
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"Yeah, well when he gets back, you just send him up to Mr Jordan's office, okay?" Ben pushed passed Mulligan and walked towards the lift with Mikie. "But you still need to sign in, sir." Mulligan called after them. Ben grew tired of Mulligan and turned to face him. "I do not need to sign into my own building. If you want to keep your job, you'd better learn who I am, Mulligan." "I'm sorry. Mr Jordan. It's his first day." Michael came from one of the lifts, buttoning his jacked as he walked towards Ben. "Well, you just see that he knows who's who around here, Michael, will you?" "Sure, Mr Jordan. I'll get right on it." Michael nodded at Ben. In the lift Mikie started to laugh. "The joke?" Ben enquired. "You. You play with people and then push them aside when you've had enough." She was surprised by this side of Ben that she had not seen before. "He's a fool! And I don't suffer fools!" Ben informed her. "I'd better be careful then, cause I'm a fool for you." Ben took hold of her and pulled her close. "I'm the fool. I should have married you ten years ago." They were kissing when the lift stopped and the doors opened. They walked passed the four people who were waiting outside the lift and went into Ben's office.
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CHAPTER 21 The major crisis turned out to be Ben overreacting to a new office junior miss-filing. It took Mikie about three hours to sort it out and show the girl how to file. "What you need is another branch. Something different to turn your attention to." Mikie suggested. "Anything in mind?" Ben enquired. "Just the thing. You could come and help me get this new refuge off the ground. I need to recruit staff who I can trust. You've got much better judgement than I have, interested?" "That sounds like you're offering me a job. Is the salary good?" "Crap. But you get to go home and sleep with the boss every night." She grinned. "Well. In that case I might just consider it." Ben took up Mikie's offer and set about getting staff who were trustworthy for the new youth refuge. With Ben's help the project was up and running within a month. The first kids to be placed there were two sixteen year old pregnant girls. The centre soon filled to its capacity of twenty. Ben enjoyed working with the kids to such an extent that the security company got two or three day's attention a week. Any urgent calls for Ben were redirected to Mikie when Ben was not in his office. "We should merge the companies together, then we'll be able to expand both at the same time." Ben had suggested over lunch one afternoon. "It's an option. That means we'll be able to keep overheads down. It'll also mean that we don't have to open new offices, we seem to be setting up in the same towns as me." Mikie had replied. "I set an office up in the same building as one of your branches two weeks ago." "I hadn't thought of that. I was just thinking that you're
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about the only person I really trust to look after things when I'm out of the office." "Careful. I might start thinking I'm indispensable." "You are to me." Ben laughed. "I could go and see that new office complex that you've been talking about. Unless you want to go yourself." "You go. It'll give you a chance to put that electronics degree to use." "That's what I thought. It's ages since I got my hands dirty." Ben went to the door of his office. "Shirley, could you bring the Vartrex file in please?" "Sure. I'll just finish this update, okay?" Shirley had looked up from her desk. "That's fine, when you're ready." Ben returned to the table where Mikie was staring out of the window. "Where are you?" Mikie was lost in thought. She had come so far since she first suggested opening a club in San Francisco, to her father. He had been unsure and had taken some convincing, but he trusted his daughter and gave her a budget. When she had opened twelve clubs and restaurants, she took a floor of the building her office was now housed in. Within twelve months she had opened two hundred and fifty clubs and restaurants of different types. She had attended a charity event in aid of cancer research and met Jack Stanmore. Her mind drifted to Jack. "Mikie?" Ben said. He walked round to where she was sitting and put his arms round her shoulders. "Sorry. Were you saying something?" she asked. "I was just wondering where you are." "I was just thinking." "You sound far away." "Mmm! I was thinking about Jack." Mikie looked up at him. "It's his birthday today." "I thought you'd forgotten. Are you okay?"
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"Oh, I'm fine. I'm just remembering his last birthday, when we were together. He told me Paulette had bought the expensive after shave for him. I later found out it was Angel. We had a huge row and I threw the bottle at him, it broke and covered him. He smelled like a cosmetics department in a big store." "At least his office did, for days, as I remember. He told me what had happened and I told him he was the biggest fool on earth." "I should have seen the signs. But, then again, isn't the wife always the last to know?" "I nearly came over to tell you a dozen times, but I guess I didn't have the courage to watch you crumble in front of me." "I was the fool, Ben. I knew what would happen but I thought that I could change him. Big mistake. No one can make their partner into something they're not. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Jack to be happy." "Jack couldn't be happy. He didn't know what he wanted out of life so he just drifted around. I still wish that I had taken you from him so I could have saved you from the hurt he caused you." "That was in the past. You've got me now. And you said you weren't a knight in shining armour." "I'm not. I just love you more than my life." "I know. You'll always be a knight in armour to me." There was a knock at the door. "Here's that file, Ben." Shirley smiled. "Thanks. Have you been for your lunch?" Ben replied. "I'm going now, unless you need me." "No. I'm fine, I'll see you in an hour or so." Ben turned back to Mikie. "There's a copy of the plans in here as well as a list of specs. I don't think there'll be any problems." "I'll go and have a look this afternoon, I'll let you know how it looks when I get back."
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The Vartrex building was a twenty minute drive from Ben's office. When Mikie arrived she stood and looked at the front of the building to get some idea of the potential problems from outside. She walked into the building and was struck by the absence of a receptionist or security guard. She looked at the list displayed on the wall and found the office of Bruce Devon, the Managing Director. She proceeded to his office and knocked on the door. "Come in!" When she opened the door she found a medium height, medium built man of about sixty years old sitting behind the big desk. "Mr Devon? Michaela Jordan." She extended her hand. "I was expectin' Jordan to come himself." He looked annoyed and refused to shake her hand. "He's snowed under at the moment so he asked me to come. I must say that the present arrangements are, to say the least, inadequate." "That's why I called Jordan Stanmore. Recommended by a friend of mine. Jerry Arnustie is a stickler for security so if you're good enough for him you're good enough for me." "I'm sure I'll be able to fix everything by this afternoon, Mr Devon. The first priority is entrance security. If we can come to an agreement, I can have someone in place by about four o'clock." "Well, that sounds quick, I thought it would take a couple of days at least. I've seen the contract and I like what it says. Let's talk figures." Mikie left Devon's office an hour later, once the temporary security guard had arrived. Back at her office she phoned Ben. "I'm back. He agreed to five hundred dollars more than you said to ask for. Is that okay?" "That's excellent. I'll send you more often. Devon has the
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reputation for not paying full price for anything." "He thinks he hasn't. I told him it was two thousand dollars more than you said and he haggled me down." "I would have liked to have seen that. Next time, I think I'll go with you, I might learn something. I have to go, I'm with a client. I'll see you later." Mikie hung up the phone and turned back to the work on her desk. She was feeling very satisfied with herself.
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CHAPTER 22 As winter turned to spring Mikie and Ben, once more fell into their routine. Family came first with both of them and if one of the children felt ill they would take it in turns to stay home with them. Mikie would often find that Ben had been to pick Jess up from the crche and take her for a walk through the park. It was the middle of March, a beautiful Wednesday afternoon and Mikie was pouring over paperwork when the telephone on her desk started to ring. "Hi!" She said picking it up. "Mikie it's a Mr Poulter from Springbank School." Joyce said mater-of-fact. "Thanks, Joyce Hello Mr Poulter, what's the problem?" "Mrs Jordan, could you come to the school, please, we seem to be having a problem locating Greg." Alec Poulter's voice was deep and flat. "Excuse me? How do you mean? Having a problem locating Greg?" "Well. He seems to have gone missing." "How? When?" Mikie started to panic. "He didn't return after recess. We've looked for him but we can't seem to find him." "What about Tamara?" "Oh, she's fine, she's with me in the office now." "I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Mikie ended the call, pressed the speed dial to Ben's office. "Jordan/Stanmore security, good afternoon." it was a woman's voice that answered. "Ann, this is Mrs Jordan, put me through to Ben, please." Mikie's tone was sharp. "I'm sorry, Mrs Jordan, but Mr Jordan gave strict instructions that he's not to be disturbed." Ann replied. "I'm not playing games Ann, put me through!" Mikie
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insisted. "I can't do that, ma'am." "Then put me through to Shirley!" "Okay. One moment." the line seemed dead. "Shirley is taking another call, will you hold?" "No. interrupt her call!" "But I can't do that." "If you value your job you will!" Mikie heard the familiar double click of being put on hold. Two seconds later she was through to Shirley. "Shirley, put me through to Ben." "He's in a meeting, Mikie." "I know. This won't wait!" Two more clicks. "What!? I said no." Ben sounded angry. "Ben? Shut up and listen! I'm sorry I interrupted. Its Greg, he's gone missing!" Mikie was now frantic with worry. "What? How can he go missing from school in the middle of the day?" He was already putting on his jacket. "How the hell should I know? I got a call from the school, will you come with me?" "I'll meet you in the car!" They both replaced the receivers and left their offices. When Ben reached the garage Mikie was waiting by the lift in her car. Ben jumped in and she sped off up the exit ramp and into the street. "What happened?" Ben asked, panting for breath. "He didn't return after recess, according to Alec Poulter." "How can a child go missing in the middle of the day?" Ben was even more frantic than Mikie. At the school they found Tara sitting in Alec Poulter's office, sobbing. She jumped up and ran into Ben's arms. "He was there one minute then I couldn't find him! I don't
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know where he is, Daddy!" Tara sobbed into Ben's shoulder. "Shhh! It's okay. It's not your fault. He probably just got confused about the time, that's all." "What have you found out?" Mikie asked Alec Poulter. "Nothing. It seems he just disappeared." "He's a ten year old with Downs Syndrome. He can't just disappear." Ben was angry, very angry. "What sort of place do you run here? Where are the security measures?" "Security is always high on our priority list, Mr Jordan, my staff are very vigilant." Poulter was squirming. "Security is crap! Our son has gone missing! Have you called the police?" Ben was shouting at Poulter. "Not yet, I thought it would be best to wait." "For what? A body?" Ben had put Tara on the floor and was leaning across the desk towards Poulter. "If anything has happened to my son, you will be very sorry!" his voice was menacing. "Ben. Yelling is not finding Greg." Mikie tried to reason with him. "Neither is Mr-high-priority-security sitting on his backside doing nothing!" "Mr Jordan. Please! Your voice can be heard all over the school!" The woman was Vicky Stensky the vice-principle. "And my son has gone missing!" "And I'm sure we'll find him. But please calm down." Vicky was fighting a loosing battle. "Stop telling me to calm down and tell me where my son is!" "I can't. I've called the police and they'll be here any minute." Mikie had never seen Ben so furious. She knew he was justified. Tara was terrified, clinging to Mikie's hand. When the police arrived they sent officers into every classroom. They also asked for a recent photograph of Greg.
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"You think he's been taken by someone, don't you?" The realisation that her son may have been kidnapped struck her. "Well lets just keep our options open for now, ma'am." Detective Thompson was a medium built, black man with a pleasant nature. "My son has gone missing and at the moment I'm the only one who seems bothered by it." Ben was leaning against Poulter's desk. He was no longer shouting but Mikie could hear the anger and frustration in his voice. "Mr Jordan, we're doin' everything we can possibly do to find your son. We'll find him soon, I'm sure." Thompson smiled at Ben. Ben glared back. "You get my son back. I don't care how, but it had better be soon." "I think it would be a good idea if you go home and wait there." "You'll call us as soon as you hear anything?" Ben snapped. "Rest assured we will find your son, soon." Mikie had to drive home because Ben was in such a state. When they arrived at the house Beth was in turmoil. Karen, Kelly and Grace, their neighbours, had come over as soon as they had heard the news. "They'll find him, Mikie, I'm sure." Grace had said as Mikie, Ben and Tara came in through the door. "You got more faith than me, Grace." Ben snapped. Grace let it pass. "You've got to trust them, Ben, they'll bring him back." Beth took Tara into the kitchen. Mikie called her office. "Can you pick Jess up and bring her over, Joyce please?" "As soon as we hear anything I'll let you know." "No, she's safer there for the time being, just bring her on your way home." "Thanks, Joyce." she turned to Ben "Phone Shirley and check to make sure everything is okay." She handed
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him the phone. Karen had poured them all coffee. "He'll be fine, Mikie." She was concerned for her friend, but more concerned for the little boy. Ben and Mikie sat by the telephone for the rest of the afternoon, all evening and into the early hours of the following morning. Mikie clung to Ben, seeking comfort in his arms. Ben was more afraid than he had ever been in his life. Even the trauma of war was nothing compared to the thought that anything could have happened to Greg. His mind raced on with thoughts too horrible to admit. Mikie sat rigid with fear next to him. Beth sat opposite them and waited for news. When the telephone rang Ben grabbed at the receiver. "Jordan!" he snapped. "Detective Thompson, we think we've got a lead." "Think isn't good enough, Thompson." "There was a kid answering Greg's description spotted near the train station. He was seen talking to a woman. At the minute, that's the only lead we got." "Okay! If he's been kidnapped just get him back. Whatever they ask, I'll pay it." Ben was barking into the phone. He put the receiver down. "Oh Ben! My poor little boy! He'll be terrified!" Mikie released her feeling of terror in a flood of tears. "Shhh! It'll be okay, we'll get him back. Whatever it takes." The telephone rang again. "Jordan!" "Hi! Ben, it's Dan Calhoon, I thought I'd better call. It's Greg. He turned up at the ranch about ten minutes ago." "He what? Is he okay?" "He's fine. Tired, but fine!" "Thank god! I'll come get him." Ben put the receiver down and broke into hysterical tears. "He's okay. He's at the ranch."
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he sobbed. "He's where?" Mikie thought that she has misheard what Ben had said. "At the ranch." Greg's adventure had started out when he lost his temper with Tara. He had the idea that if he left her she would see the harm she was doing. He had sneaked out of school and walked to the train station. He had got on a train destined for Seattle. When the train had pulled into Ashland he had got off and started to walk to the ranch. He was picked up by the local Sheriffs Deputy and taken to the ranch. Mikie telephoned the police department to explain that Greg was safe. Ben and Mikie waited until dawn and then Ben flew them to the ranch in the company helicopter. They arrived at seven thirty. Greg ran into his mother's arms. "Oh Greg! You've been such a naughty boy! We were so frightened that something had happened to you!" She had swept him into her arms. Greg was crying uncontrollably. Ben hugged them both. "Please don't do that again Greg." "I'm sorry! Tara was being rotten so I thought that I would pay her back." Greg sobbed. "You sent us to hell and back, sport. I love you lots but right now I ought to give you a good spanking." Ben was so thrilled to have Greg in his arms that any thoughts of chastisement were quickly forgotten. They returned to San Francisco later that afternoon. Greg was relieved that his punishment only consisted of not being able to go to the after school clubs he attended for a period of two weeks. He also had to apologise to Tara and promise not to do anything like that again.
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Tara, for her part, milked the situation for all it was worth. Greg was left in no doubt of his twin sister's anger. Even though Greg looked every bit a Downs Syndrome child he actually only had mild symptoms in comparison with some other, more affected children. He went to a mainstream school where he was only one grade behind his sister and other children of the same age. Mikie and Ben were quietly proud that their son had found his way over five hundred miles to the ranch. Ben took some convincing from Mikie that he needed to apologise to Alec Poulter. He did eventually, but it was with great reluctance. Greg's punishment did not extend to missing out on the afternoon ice-cream parlour visit. They were waiting in Ben's office one Friday afternoon at the end of June, for Mikie to call or arrive. When Ben answered the ringing phone he was expecting to hear her voice. "It's Michael, Mr Jordan." "Hi! What is it?" "Well I think you should come down, sir." Michael's voice was filled with concern. "I can't right now, I'm waiting for my wife." "Well, it's your wife I'm concerned about. She's in reception, she doesn't look too good." "I'll be right down." He jumped down off the desk and turned to the children. "Wait here, I'll be back soon." he left them sitting watching a small yacht moving along the river. "Shirley look after the kids, please" "Sure, Ben, is everything okay?" "Not sure, it's Mikie. I'll let you know." When Ben got out of the lift at the lobby, he quickly scanned round to find Mikie. She was sitting behind the reception desk where Michael stood next to her. "What is it, darlin'?" Ben said.
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"I felt whoosie and passed out. Pretty stupid really." Mikie looked up. Ben was not happy with the way she looked. "You look awful! How do you feel?" "I'm just a bit light headed, Ben it'll pass." A couple of paramedics arrived. "Let's get you checked out, ma'am." the young woman had a kind voice. "Oh, don't fuss. I'm fine!" Mikie attempted to stand up and collapsed into Ben's arms. When she woke she was in the hospital emergency room. "Ben?" The room was spinning. "Shhh! Don't try to speak. It's okay, we're waiting for Andrew." Ben stroked her face. When Andrew Peterson arrived he checked Mikie over then talked to Ben outside the room. "It's not good, Ben, I think it could be some sort of infection. Has she mentioned a headache or feeling dizzy? "Not to me, she has said her back has been sore for a couple of days. Any help?" "It could be that, I'll look after her." Mikie was sedated. The nursing staff checked her every ten minutes. Ben sat by her bedside and waited. She came to two days later. She tried to pull the oxygen mask from her face. "Shhh! Leave it there. I'm here, it's okay." "Ben? Why?" she found talking difficult. "I'll explain it later, darlin' just rest." The cause of Mikie's trauma was brought on by an infection she had caught while helping at the refuge. She stayed in the hospital for a week. When she returned home it was to banners, streamers, flowers and chocolates. "Ben. Look at this place." "Great! Isn't it? it was Greg's idea."
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"We missed you!" Greg said. Looking at her young son Mikie could not say anything more than thank you.
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CHAPTER 23 From somewhere deep in her mind came the nagging feeling that her perfect life was going to explode and be lost forever. As much as she tried not to think such ridiculous things they still appeared in her dreams. The depression crept up on her very subtly, when she was least expecting it. Ben noticed that she was changing. She would do strange things like lock the bathroom door when she took her morning shower. By the middle of August, Mikie was in the throws of the depression. She shouted constantly at Jess, who did nothing more than ask for attention. She suggested that Tara and Greg go to school in England, something that she had assured Ben on countless occasions that she did not want. She made excuses to miss the afternoon icecream. Ben talked to Beth, Karen, Kelly, Joyce and finally Margaret about Mikie's demeanour. They could not come up with solutions. When Mikie started picking fights over the smallest, trivial thing Ben got really worried. Things came to a head at the end of August when Ben had come home late because a meeting had overrun and Mikie accused him of having an affair. "Enough is enough! I can't take any more of this! You need help!" He said, sharply. "I need help! You're the one who does all the things to annoy me! Maybe you should criticise yourself, for a change!" "Michaela! Listen to yourself!" Ben was getting more and more angry. "I'm not having an affair! The meeting over ran! I couldn't help it!" He was starting to despair. "All the things I do are things I've always done! You used to like them! What changed?" "Maybe I did! Maybe the bubble burst!" "No it hasn't! we're still the same people!" "So maybe we need to change! Maybe I don't want to be here anymore!"
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"Maybe you don't want me anymore. That's what you're saying, isn't it?" He was very quiet. He looked at her. His heart was breaking. "I don't know what I did to make you want to change, whatever it is I'm sorry. If you don't want me here I'll leave." His voice was barley audible. "Maybe I do want you to leave!" Mikie screamed at him. Ben turned and walked out of the front door and climbed into his car. He drove all night and found himself at the ranch. He stayed for three days, not talking to anyone. Not riding his horse, not taking any interest in the latest development. He stayed in the house and thought. Mikie sat around the house, doing nothing. Not even bothering to dress. She thought about Ben, about all the things they had been through. It was Ben who had tried to help her when Jack had told her about his affair with Angel. He had come to the apartment to give her someone to talk to. She remembered how he had taken her in his arms and held her and made the pain go away. It was because of Ben that she had realised that she did not love Jack the way she should have. She felt the same love for her brothers, there was no passion. Ben had always been easy to talk to, she found him to be a big comfort. She had even agreed with his suggestion to return to England until things had calmed down. Where was Ben now? She wandered. Is he sitting alone in some dark barroom? She missed him desperately. She suddenly realised that the things she had been doing had pushed him away from her. She remembered the love they had made, when Jack went on one of his extended business trips. She could see Ben's beaming smile and the way his eyes sparkled with lust when she undressed before him. Mikie realised she knew she had to find Ben. "Karen I need help!" Mikie had gone to her friend when she had realised just what had happened. "I've hurt him really badly,
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Karen. I don't know where he is. I I don't know how to put it right! What do I do?" Karen took hold of her friend and hugged her tightly. Mikie sobbed uncontrollably. "Oh Mikie! I tried to tell you. I tried to make you see. He's at the ranch, he called me and asked me to keep an eye on you. Maybe if you go to him, you'll be able to sort it out." Karen looked at her friend and could see how deeply she was hurting. " I've been really stupid, Karen. Do you think I've got any chance to save things?" "All you can do is try. You have to go to him, Mikie it's the only chance you have left. I'll get Beth to call your Mom and get her to come over. You take as long as you need." "Oh Karen. I hope you're right." Mikie headed for the train station. All through the journey she could picture Ben sitting alone, hurting. The hurt she had caused him. She arrived in Ashland at eight fifteen p.m. The taxi drive was the most difficult half hour of her life. She made the driver stop at the reception to the ranch and walked the half mile to the house. When she went in she looked around for Ben. The house was empty. She went out onto the porch to look for him and spotted him swimming in the lake. She ran down the path, kicking off her shoes as she went. She waded straight into the cold water and into Ben's arms. "I thought you would never come. Oh Mikie I'm so sorry." He said after they had stood, waist deep in the water, for about ten minutes, hugging. "No, Ben! I'm the one who should be sorry. All my life, good things have happened and I've made them go bad. I wait for things to go wrong and when they don't I destroy them myself." "But I told you, nothing is gonna go bad between us, why don't you believe me?" "I do, Ben. I do. I broke your heart, I know I did. Can you
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ever forgive me?" Tears were rolling down her face. "There's nothing to forgive, I love you and if you still love me, then that's all that matters." "Still love you? I love you more now than I did when we had Jess. Oh Ben. If it's any consolation I've hurt myself much more than I could ever hurt you." "I don't need to be consoled. I just want you to know that I love you, I always will. With every part of my being, I love you." He held her close and they stood in silence for a while. "Let's get out of this water, it's freezing." Ben whispered. He picked her up and carried her into the house. In front of the big fire he helped her peel off the wet jeans and shirt she was wearing and wrapped her in one of the big towelling robes that she had bought for their first visit. Mikie made mugs of steaming cocoa and they sat, snuggled together on the floor by the hearth. "I'm so sorry, Ben. I don't know why I did it. I can't help feeling guilty about it. I guess I really am falling apart." "No, you're not. You needed to grieve over Jack and you haven't. You've never given yourself the chance to get over him. Neither have I. " Ben's words made sense. "I came up here 'cause I needed to be alone. I needed time out, too. I'm sorry I left you when you needed me most, but I thought it was the only way to sort my head out. If I had stayed I think I would have ended up yelling at you." "It never occurred to me that you would feel like that. I'm afraid that I don't know you as well as I think." "We don't know each other as well as we think." Ben pointed out. "I love the kids but we have to spend more time alone together. We seem to be losing each other in the crowd." "I know. We even forgot our wedding anniversary. And your birthday." "The kids remembered my birthday." "They did? Then why didn't they remind me?"
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"Greg said you were too wrapped up in the Project to think of anything of importance. Tara, being Tara, just said that you were selfish, but she would take care of me. Even Jess smiled at me when I picked her up at three in the morning." "Oh Ben! I'm so" Ben put his hand over her mouth to stop her speaking. "Don't say sorry again, please! I can't take much more of you saying 'sorry' in every sentence." "I apologise. I'll try not to do it again." They started to laugh. They laughed so much that tears ran down their faces. Mikie rolled on top of where Ben was now lying on the floor. "I love you, Bennett Thomas Jordan!" she said calming down. "I nearly lost you, I realise that now and I would have been the biggest fool on this planet if I had! Don't let me do it to you again, Ben, please. Will you stop me if I come anywhere near it again?" "I'll stop you, if I notice. But it's hard for me, I think you're perfect and you can't do any wrong. Maybe that's where I fail you." "You don't fail me. I fail myself. I get so wrapped up in stupid feelings of inadequacy." "You're the best wife and mother in the universe. How can you feel inadequate?" "I do. I don't know why, maybe its a character flaw. I wrap myself up in you and the kids, nothing else matters, but I'm doing something wrong, I must be, otherwise I wouldn't feel the way I do right now." "What about you? Where do you come into it?" "I don't follow." "You wrap yourself in us, you don't mention you. You need to put yourself in there too." "But when I do that, it all goes wrong!"
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"Have you tried it? From where I see it, I don't think you have." "I have. How do you think we got here? I put myself in the frame and messed everything up. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I don't know how to be part of things without destroying everything." "Stick with me, I'll show you. It's okay to consider yourself, you do matter. You're not just a wife and mother, you're a person too. A person with needs the same as anyone else. Above all I love you. Whatever happens in our life I'll always love you. I want to protect you from the crap the world throws at us, but I can't. It's dealing with the crap that makes us the people we are and you're a very special person, not just to me but to our kids and to the kids you help every day at the Project. Thank you, Mikie, for being you." He kissed her. "You're my whole world and I can't survive without you." "Oh, Ben! I'll try to be more positive, I promise. The last thing on my mind was hurting you. I broke my promise to you and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that." "Its forgotten. Don't cut yourself up over it, I'm okay. Besides I've forgiven you." He looked deep into her eyes. "I don't need to have an affair. I've got everything I could ever need right here in my arms. You do believe that, don't you?" "I do." She replied quietly. It was more Mikie who made love to Ben than the other way round. She wanted to show him how sorry she was. To make up for the hurt she had caused him. They stayed in front of the big log fire most of the night, lying close together, neither wanting to move and break the spell they were under. They did not sleep, they just lay close together. Both of them were thinking back over the time they had spent together. Mikie looked upon Ben as releasing her from the lonely life she had fallen into when her marriage to Jack had ended. She had built a wall around herself
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and now she realised that it was time to let go and demolish it. Ben, too, had been lonely. He had thrown himself into his work, building the business into something to be proud of. It had been a joint venture with Jack. They had thought of it after they had been discharged from the marines after the Vietnam war. They wanted to use their expertise to build something that would be useful to others. They had started small, fitting alarms to houses and cars. Then as their business grew they branched out into surveillance and security guards. Ben was the brains behind the operation while Jack had been more drawn to the technical side of things. When Caroline had left him, Ben was utterly devastated. He found himself drifting from one relationship to another, not allowing himself to get involved so that he would not get hurt. When Jack had told him about Mikie he was instantly jealous. Jack had no moral obligations when it came to other people. He just used them up and then tossed them aside when he got bored. He had told Ben that Mikie was different. He loved her and he would never hurt her. Ben could see that he was infatuated with her but also knew his friend. They had discussed the subject on several occasions before Ben had met Mikie. When they did eventually meet, Ben was instantly in love with her. He tried to hide his feelings, in fact, he thought he had done a pretty good job, until Mikie had told him she knew. And now they had each other. Ben resigned himself to the task of fighting hard to save the marriage. To keep Mikie close to him and shield her from harm. When the resignation hit him he tightened his hold around her. "What?" Mikie said quietly. "I love you!" he replied simply. "I know, I love you too. Where have you been?" "Down dark halls that I've buried away. Places that I never thought I would go to again." "Mmmm! Me too. They're not very pleasant places, are
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they?" "No, but they made us into the people we are now and sometimes its good to face up to unpleasant things. It makes you appreciate the good things, all the more." A storm had started outside, the thunder was loud and the lightning flashed across the sky lighting up the house. When they eventually went to bed Ben drifted into a restless sleep. His mind was playing tricks on him and he thought he was in a field in Vietnam with bombs exploding around him. As he tossed and turned in the bed Mikie did her best to calm him. She tried to hold him but he pushed her away. After about half an hour he woke screaming for Jack. "It's okay, Ben. You're safe. I'm here." Mikie said softly. "That's the third time I've had a flashback since I've been here. God it's horrible to go back to that field, to the murder and bloodshed." He was shaking. "I think of myself as being brave, but no amount of courage can prepare you for war." "You don't need to explain, Ben. I went through it with Jack. I used to wake up and find him curled up in a corner, shaking, afraid. I couldn't do anything for him, just hold him and try to make the nightmares go away." "They don't go away, Mikie. They stay with you. It's like replaying a movie in your head. You know what's coming next and try to shut it off but you can't." "Tell me what you're seeing, Ben, maybe it will help." "We were in a field. The grass stood nearly as tall as me. The only way to get to where we needed to be was through the field. We were half way across when we heard the choppers. There were at least thirty of them, I yelled for everyone to dive. They dropped grenades and mortars. From where I was, I could see bits of bodies flying through the air. For all I knew the choppers were there, it was silent. I couldn't hear anything. It lasted all of about three minutes, then they left. There was sixty
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men went into that field and twenty seven came out the other side. I had to go back and look for Jack. He was trying to help one of the guys. He had a bad leg wound himself so I had to carry him out then go back for the other man. When I got back he was dead. Tony Delmaro he was nineteen years old. I had to send men back into the field to find anyone who was injured and to collect dog-tags from the dead. We made it to a village where there were only women and children. They helped us, giving us food and bandages. I'm not sure whether it was because they were friendly or because they were scared. We stayed there for three days until we had made stretchers for the injured. When we got back to the base we were told that we were all assumed killed. It was comforting to know that they wouldn't have bothered to come look for us. I later found out that we had walked straight into a trap. I'm amazed anyone managed to come out alive. The Viet's used to set fire to the fields and burn everyone alive." Ben sat very still and very quiet for a long time. Mikie held him. She remembered how it had been with Jack. She knew nothing of what he was feeling. Ben was different, he was a stronger character and felt able to share his memories. "Are you okay?" Mikie asked softly. "I will be. I've got you to look after me." "I'm here for you, Ben, I always will be." "I know, I'm grateful. I think that I've finally managed to forget things then they resurface and bring all the memories back." "They're part of who you are, you can't forget them. I have memories that I'd sooner forget too, but I know that if I do I'll become complacent. Things happen to us for a reason. It makes us fight to be better people." They stayed at the ranch for another week. Talking through their differences. Getting to know each other better. They phoned
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home every evening to speak to the children. They would get up early and ride their horses around the ranch, usually at walking pace, but a couple of occasions they had raced back to the stables. They decided that what they needed to do was to spend odd weekends alone together. They also decided that they were spending too much time at work. They were in the privileged position of not needing to work nine-to-five everyday and they could choose when to work and when to stay at home. They returned home relaxed and happy once more. They had buried their ghosts and were content to accept each other the way they were. Mikie decided to use one of the spare bedrooms as an office and installed a fax, photocopier etc. and told Joyce that she could reach her there if she needed. Shirley received the same instruction from Ben.
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CHAPTER 24 Some months later, on the occasion of Brett and Ali's eighteenth birthday they threw a huge party. Inviting, not only friends of the teenagers but also some of the high-society people who were in their circle of friends. They mingled with their guests, constantly at each others side, chatting over trivial things and the latest gossip. Ali had requested a karaoke session for their friends. It was Brett's suggestion that she sing for them. "Please, Mum! It would really make our night!" He had grown to nearly six feet three, and towered above her. "I'll only do it if Ben helps me!" she replied. Ben was horrified. "I can't sing." "Yes you can. You sing to me every morning." "That's shower singing. Everyone can sing in the shower." "And you're not everyone. But if you want to let our kids down, that's fine." "I've heard you singing, Dad, you'll be fine." Ali had put her arm round Ben's waist. "I guess I'm out numbered then." he resigned. They sang together for more than an hour. Ben found himself enjoying it. Mikie was in her element, she had always been a bit of a show-off. Their audience were captivated, applauding and joining in. Ben decided it was time to stop. "I have to say something. Don't be worried, Ali, it only a few words. Two and a half years ago I was alone sitting watching my best friend die from cancer. He'd asked me to go and find his exwife and tell her that he was dead. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Apart from getting lost in the wilds of northern England, I was hopelessly in love with the same lady. When I found out she felt the same, I felt extremely lucky. Mikie agreed to be my wife and I had suddenly acquired a family. I had thoughts that they may not want me as a father, but I thought if they could accept me as a friend then that would be good enough.
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They not only accepted me as a father but it was Brett and Ali who first called me Dad. I love you both, deeply and I can honestly say that I'm the proudest step-Dad on earth." It was Brett who answered him. "Thanks, Dad! Ali and I never knew our biological father, he died before we were born. Mum brought us up with the help of our Grandparents. When she married Jack and had Tara and Greg we wanted her to be happy. We knew, probably before she did, that it was wrong. We shared her hurt, I'm not sure if she knows this, but we did. When Ben came into our lives we saw how much he loves her. We're so glad you're happy, Mum. Ben is the best father any one could ask for. There's a saying that goes, 'you can choose your friends but not your relatives', well we couldn't have chosen better in a million years. It's because of Ben that we are the people we are now. He brought laughter into our mother's life again, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I didn't want a big fuss made for our birthday, but Ben likes to show us off to the world and say 'hey this is my family.' Now all I need to do is talk him into paying the fees so I can go study Law at Yale." There was laughter all round. Ali also had something to say. "I want to say thank you to both our parents. We all love you, loads. There are times when a girl needs a father to tell her when she's doing things right or wrong and Ben is the best person for the job. He's not afraid to come and ask me about Mum when he's confused by the signs she gives out. He tells me stories about life to give me options on how to sort out situations. And, most of all, I know I can go to him when I'm in trouble and I need advice. He's the best Dad in the world and I'm so pleased he's mine." Ali kissed Ben. Ben was stunned into silence but stood hugging both Brett and Ali as their guests applauded. Brett whispered something to his mother and she started to sing to Ben. She sang his favourite song and he stood listening
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with tears of joy trickling down his face. He was so proud and so happy that nothing could change his demeanour. Brett went to study Law at Yale University. Ali had decided she wanted to work with Ben so she had taken an electronics degree at University of California in Los Angeles. She had also decided that she needed her own space and Ben had agreed to let her live in his old apartment. He had not found the time to sell it so it was ideal for Ali. Tara, who was now twelve, was doing well at school and had surprised her parents by gaining A+ grades in every subject. Greg had started to find school harder to cope with. He fell behind in most things, Ben had explained it to be the Downs Syndrome. Mikie was not so sure. She had noticed little things about Greg. His appetite waned, he was tired but could not seem to sleep properly. She took him to see his Paediatrician who could give her no answers. She kept a close watch on him, but kept her fears from Ben. It was mid October, they were in the kitchen having lunch when the telephone rang. Ben picked it up. "Hello, Mr Jordan? It's Mrs Stensky." "Hi! Is there a problem?" "I'm afraid it's Gregory. He's on his way to Saint Helen's, we're not sure what's wrong, he just seemed to fall asleep." "Okay we'll be there in fifteen minutes." he hung up the phone and turned to Mikie. "Greg. He's been taken to Saint Helen's." At the hospital they found a worried looking Jeff Towers. "I'm waiting for Bill Maxwell, he's an expert on Downs Syndrome." Jeff explained. "He will be okay?" Ben asked, his mind racing with a thousand questions.
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"I can't tell you, Ben, I'm sorry." "Can we see him?" Mikie asked "Sure, he's asleep. Don't be put off by the machines." Greg was lying in subdued light, the machines around his bed were bleeping and flashing rhythmically. He looked so small against the white of the sheets. Mikie took a sharp intake of breath. Ben squeezed her hand a little harder. "He'll be okay, he's a fighter." Ben was trying to convince himself as much as he was Mikie. Bill Maxwell arrived but could give no good news. "Ive looked at the scan results, Im still waiting for a couple of blood tests to come back, Ill know more in a couple of hours." He was a kind man, gentle but to the point. "What do we do?" Mikie asked. "Wait, Im afraid." Maxwell said. "Thats it? Wait?" Ben was losing his grip on his worry. "Ben!" Mikie said sharply. "We have to give things time." Ben looked at her and started to say something, then stopped. This was Greg they were watching. The boy who tore through the house at breakneck speed. The boy who spoke his mind, because he knew no different. They sat by Greg's bed and waited. Bill Maxwell came to see them two hours later. "The blood test shows aplastic anaemia." "So how do we treat it?" Mikie asked. "Hes a very sick little boy. The only thing I can try is a bone marrow transplant." "Take mine." Ben said, quickly. "Blood relatives have the best chance of match, Ben darling." Mikie said, gently. "You're not his father?" Maxwell asked Ben. "No."
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"We can test you anyway. There are occasions when nonrelatives match." Tara also insisted on being tested. After waiting another four hours Jeff Towers spoke to Mikie and Ben. "We have a perfect match." He smiled. "Fathers usually give the best match." "His father died." Mikie explained. "This test has to be from his father. We don't get these results from anyone else." Ben and Mikie looked at Jeff. "There has to be a mistake." Mikie said. "Greg's father died." "Not according to these tests. We only ever get these results from fathers'. There isnt any mistake." Mikie looked at Ben for a few seconds. "Maybe he's right." "Explain?" Ben said. "Remember the night I had the row with Jack and he went off on one of his three week trips and I came to you? We did get drunk." "So?" "So. Two months later I was pregnant. Andrew did say that it was a miracle that we had the twins. Almost impossible." "Are you serious?" Ben said, shocked. "I couldn't work dates out. Not from the information Andrew gave me. I just assumed he had got the date wrong. I hadn't slept in the same bed as Jack for weeks. Oh Ben. If I'd known." "What you're saying is that Tara and Greg are my children." Ben said, quietly. "Yes. They have to be." He looked at Jeff. "So what happens now?" "We prep you for surgery. It takes about an hour. We can do it under sedation or full anaesthesia."
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"Sedation? I think I can handle that." The bone marrow was harvested from Ben and given to Greg immediately. Mikie sat by Greg and waited for any sign that he was coming back to her. Ben joined her after resting for a few hours. They waited until the following morning. Greg showed no sign that he would wake. "Have you two been here all night?" Bill Maxwell asked, surprised to see them. "Yes." Mikie said. "We couldn't leave in case he woke up." "I wish I could give you some good news, but I'm afraid that I can't. I guess it was too late." "We're gonna lose him?" Ben asked. Maxwell nodded. "I'm very sorry. Anaemia of any sort is bad, Aplastic can be terminal unless its caught in the very early stages. I'm afraid Greg has had this for some months. It's very difficult to diagnose." Mikie fell into Ben's arms and cried. They sat by Greg's bed and watched as he fought to live. The life support machine he was attached to bleeped and swooshed next to them. Brett and Ali arrived at seven thirty that evening. Each having flown in from university to be with their parents and young brother. "How's he doin' Mum?" Brett asked after he had hugged his mother. "He's not going to come out of this." Mikie fought back the tears that threatened to run down her face. "He'll pull through, Mum! They said he would never get over that bout of meningitis when he was three, but he did." Ali tried to comfort her mother. Ben felt left out of the family. He was not involved in that part of their lives. For the first time in their marriage he realised that there were memories they did not share. He kept his
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feelings private. "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back shortly." Ben stood up and kissed Greg's cheek, then he kissed Mikie and walked from the room. He had never been one for prayers or religion but he felt the need to pray and went to the hospital chapel. It was there that Mikie found him ten minutes later. "Are you ok?" "I can't help him and it's breaking me apart. What do I do Mikie? Why did this have to happen? He's just a little boy. How can God do this? Have I done some great wrong that I need to be punished for?" "Ben, things like this happen. It's no-ones fault. There may still be a chance that he'll pull through, we have to believe that he will." Mikie held Ben's hand. "Oh Mikie, I love him with all my heart. I want to pick him up and make the pain go away." "I know you do, darling. But you can't. Don't put yourself through this Ben." They returned to Greg's room. Ali, Tara and Brett had taken over sitting by his bed, holding his hands and talking to him. Jeff Towers and Bill Maxwell were in the room waiting for them. "We need to talk to you both." Jeff said. "Can we go outside?" "It's okay. We can talk in here. The kids need to hear this." "He's not gonna come out of this." Maxwell said. "If we switch off the machines, what will happen?" Mikie asked. "It's hard to say. He may still breath on his own, he may live for a while, but he won't live for more than a few hours." "Thank you." She said. She looked at Ben. "what do we do? I don't want him to suffer." "We turn off the machine and let him make the choice for
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himself. He told me he didn't want to be hooked up to machines if anything happened to him. He asked me to promise that he wouldn't be kept alive for months or years by machines." "That's what you two talked about, is it? He may be a little slow for his age but he knows what he wants. We'll let him make the choice." "Mrs Jordan, I want to ask you something." Bill approached Mikie and Ben. "If you're gonna ask about transplant, the answer is yes." Ben voiced Mikie's thoughts. "We'll need to see how he copes off the ventilator first. If he's struggling we'll hook him back up so that we can use his organs." Greg was taken off the ventilator and immediately went into cardiac arrest. He was revived and placed back on the machine. Seven people, five children and two adults were given new chances to live because Greg died. Ben was devastated. After the funeral he shut himself away in their bedroom and would not move for days. Mikie needed him but he was too wrapped up in his grief to be of any help to her. Tara tried to talk to him. "I need you to help me, Dad. I lost my twin brother and I'm hurting." Her words fell on deaf ears. Ben would not even look at the child. Tara left him and went into her room to cry. Most of Mikie's family had come for the funeral. They each tried to talk to Ben but he would listen to no one. He was inconsolable. Margaret tried to get him to talk to her, but he would not say a word. Mikie was lost without him. She would sit for hours looking at him, trying to will him to speak to her. It was four days later when she finally snapped. "Ben! Listen to me! I know you can hear. Greg was my son. He was my little boy. He's dead and he took part of me with him.
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I can't cope with losing him." "I know." Ben whispered. "That's why its so hard. It's like losing Jack all over again." Ben started to cry. He cried like a baby for three hours. Mikie held him close and cried with him. When the tears subsided he looked at her. "I'm sorry, Mikie, I know you're hurting too. I don't think I can survive without him." "We have to. We have four other kids who need us. We have to go on with our lives. Greg wouldn't want us to be like this. We did what he wanted. We gave him the choice. I don't know why he died, Ben, but I do know that he's safe now and Jack will take care of him. We'll get through this Ben, we have each other and the kids to help us. We have to help Tara, she's in a daze. It must be harder for her than any of us." "Oh lord! Tara! She came to me for help and I sent her away." Ben got up from the bed and went to find Tara. She was sitting in Greg's room holding his favourite teddy bear. Ben wrapped his arms round her and held her close. "Why did he have to leave, Dad? It doesn't make any sense. I need him and he left me. He didn't even fight. He could have fought, he could have tried, I would have helped him. Now who's gonna ask for strawberry sauce on every flavour of ice-cream? Now who's gonna run round the house at top speed annoying Beth? Who am I gonna look after now? Who needs my help now?" "I do." Ben said. "And Mom and Brett and Ali and most of all Jess. She needs a big sister to help her with all the things she's struggling with. She needs someone to shout at and fight with so that she can grow up strong, like you. I don't know why he had to leave, sweetheart. Maybe it was because Jack needed him more that we do. We have each other. Jack only has Greg." They sat for a long time staring out of the window at the starlit sky. Tara fell asleep and Ben gently carried her to her bed.
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Mikie was still curled up on their own bed and he went and sat down beside her. "Thank you for making me see the harm I was doing. I was being selfish, I'm sorry. You're right we do have to get on with things. We have our memories, photos, movies. We won't forget him." "No, we won't" All though on the face of things, Mikie looked like she was coping with Greg's death, inside she was falling apart. She would sit for long periods thinking of him. Remembering the struggles he had. Remembering the fights she had with Jack over him. She decided that she needed to be somewhere quiet. Somewhere she could feel close to Jack. She left the house just after five in the morning. The city was quiet as she drove through the streets. The security guard was sympathetic to her grief and opened the Chapel of Remembrance so she could sit in the solitude. The urn that contained Jack's ashes was placed in a small vault. She took it to the table in the centre of the room and sat and looked at it. "You have to look after him, Jack. For me if not for him. I'm struggling to know why he had to leave. I'm struggling with the memories of you and him together. For all you rejected him, he grew stronger than Tara. He ignored things. He ignored hurt, where Tara fights it. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this, Jack. I'm loathe to admit that I need you right now. I need to feel you near me. I want you to tell me what to do. How can I live without my special little boy, Jack? I wish you could tell me. I wish you were here to tell me why he died. I need answers Jack." Ben put his arms round her shoulders. "He couldn't give you the answer you're looking for. He was the one who wanted to let Greg go when he was born. This is his chance to look after him. We don't need him anymore. Jack needs him. Jack needs
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to be able to make amends for all the wrong he did when Greg was little. For all the hurt he caused him and you. We haven't lost him really. He's still with us. I can still hear his voice, still see his face, still remember him running towards me when I come home from work. Love is the strongest bond we have with any one. I love him and I know he loves me. He told me that he wanted to make things easy for you. I had no idea what he meant. He said that if he fell asleep I was to tell you that it was not your fault and that nothing you could do would change things. He said to tell you that he loves you and he'll always be around for you. You just have to reach out to him and he'll be there."
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CHAPTER 25 It took until Christmas for the family to get back to some kind of normality. Even so, Christmas was going to be an ordeal and Ben decided that it would do them all good if they spent the holiday at Millbank. "It's the best place for us right now, Mikie. If we stay here we'll just remember the last two years. Greg is not gonna come thundering into our room, dragging us out of bed at four thirty in the morning. I think it's the best place to be. It'll take the pressure of Tara, too." "You're right. If not for our sake then for Tara." It was bitterly cold and snowing when they arrived at Newcastle Airport. Albert had come to collect them. The drive to Millbank seemed to take longer than Ben remembered. It was a week before Christmas. The house had been decorated for the season. Most of the family had gathered there. They were all sympathetic to Ben, Mikie and the children. Ben was still withdrawn and found it hard to cope with the noise of the big house. After breakfast on the morning after they had arrived, Paul arrived with his wife Jan, son Philip and baby daughter Sarah who was born the day Greg died. The effect this had on Ben was remarkable. He spent a lot of the time taking care of Sarah. Jan realised why and allowed him to help whenever he wanted to. As the days drew on it was as if Ben had found a new direction. He had finally realised that there was a purpose for life. Mikie noticed the change immediately. He was singing in the shower one morning when she woke up. When she went into the bathroom he looked through the glass door of the shower. "Good morning! Come on in!" he said, brightly. Mikie joined him under the warm water. For the first time since Greg died, Ben carried her to their bed and made love to
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her. The heartache of the past few months were forgotten. "God I needed that! I've missed you, Mik!" "I've missed you, too, Ben. I love you." "I love you too. Lets go for a horse ride." This surprised Mikie even more. He had not been near the stables since they had arrived. They galloped across the countryside for an hour then stopped at a small pub to rest the horses. Inside the barroom was quiet. "Good morning, Lady McKeon! It's nice to see you. How are you?" the woman behind the bar was mid forties, a large woman with a pleasant voice. She was about five feet two, with, obviously dyed, black hair. "I'm fine, thank you, Mrs Hutchins, how're you?" Mikie replied. "Oh! You know how it is, gettin by. How are your family?" "They're all coming for Christmas. Mum is in her element." "Well that is nice. And how is your own family? How is young Greg getting on?" Mikie felt Ben tense up beside her. "We lost Greg, Mrs Hutchins. He died in October." Mikie said quietly. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Do forgive me. I had no idea." "It's okay, ma'am. You weren't to know." Ben smiled at her. When they left the pub they walked the horses back the five miles they had come. "That was hard. I guess we're gonna come up against it though. Are you okay?" Ben said, sadly. "I'm fine. We will come up against it, but we'll get through it." "Of course we will. Anyway we're stronger now." The rest of the holiday had a healing effect on all of them. Even Tara was happier by the time New Years Eve came round. There was a traditional party to bring in the new year. The guest list was impressive by anyone's standards. Gentry and
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dignitaries all came to join Earl McKeon and his family. There was champagne by the gallon and everyone of the adults got fairly drunk. It was three thirty before Ben and Mikie finally got to bed. Mikie felt exhausted. Ben was still full of the celebration. "Come here, you." he said as Mikie came in from the bathroom. "Ben, I'm tired." "So let me wake you up." his eyes were shining. "You're drunk." "Only with love for you." he grinned at her and melted her heart. Mikie realised that they were both getting over losing Greg. There would be times when it would be hard for all of them, but right now she felt happier than she had for months. Ben made love to her. It was like it was the first time for both of them. Every touch sent her body into ecstatic raptures. Every kiss left her yearning for more. He took her to new heights. She forgot everything. There was only the two of them in the whole world at that particular time. When he had finished they both cried with joy and slept soundly in each others arms, contented and happy. Margaret was the first to notice the change in them. They walked into the breakfast room hand in hand. "Morning, Mom!" Ben said, kissing Margaret on the cheek. "Good morning! You look happy." Margaret observed. "Yep! It's a new year, a new decade and it looks pretty good from where I'm seein' it!" "Well that's good to hear." Margaret smiled. The day passed slowly. The snow was melting and green patches were starting to show through the white. After lunch Ben found Mikie sitting in the conservatory. "Let's go for a walk, Mik." he suggested. "I'd like that." Ben took her to the cabin by the lake. He made her tea and
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they sat huddled together to keep warm. "I've been thinking." Ben said. "Ooh! Did it hurt?" Mikie laughed. "Funny. No. Listen. It hit hard when Greg died, you know that, so what I was thinking was we could help other kids like Greg." "Go on." "We could adopt, or something." Ben was smiling. "Maybe. What we have to remember is our age is against us." "How?" "I'm thirty six and you're going on fifty. That causes problems to adoption agencies." "Oh." Ben seemed disappointed. "We could foster. Or we could set up a house for kids with problems like Greg had." Ben looked at Mikie and realised that she had been thinking along the same lines. "I guess we could look at all the options. I do love you!" "I'd been thinking the same thing, only I didn't know how to broach the subject." Ben hugged her. "I'd guessed as much. We'll look into it when we get home." "I've also been thinking of selling the house." Mikie said quietly. "Why? You love that house." Ben was puzzled. "Everywhere I look, I see Greg. If I see him, so must you." "That's why I like it so much. I want to be reminded of him. I'm okay now. I understand that the way I reacted was stupid. Don't sell, Mik, I need to be able to feel close to him." "I only thought it would help you. If you're okay with it then I'm fine, too." Mikie felt closer to Ben than she had for weeks. He was
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almost back to the man she knew. There were still times when he would withdraw into himself and not talk to her, but she could see he was starting to come to terms with the loss of Greg. Ben, too, felt like he was winning the battle with his feelings. He had opened up to Mikie and was happier within himself. He knew that there would be times when he would sink into the despair he felt, but those times would be rare. Sitting in the cabin with Mikie felt like they were shut away from the world. They had found their own paradise, somewhere where they could escape from reality if they felt the need to. Ben had found a spot at the ranch which was a similar private place. It was almost seven when they got back and everyone was gathering for dinner. Being New Years day, dinner was a formal occasion. Dinner suits and gowns were expected. There were several other dignitaries present. One of them was Jamie McGreggor, son of the Duke of Northumberland. He was twenty two years old and considered to be quite a catch in the social circle that Harry and Margaret were a part of. He was quite a handsome young man with impeccable manners. He had taken an instant liking to Ali. This was made obvious to Ben and Mikie when Jamie spent most of the evening by Ali's side. Ali, however, was not impressed by Jamie. She thought he was overbearing, and pushy. "Mum, please tell him to leave me alone. He's an obnoxious oaf!" "Ali, he's just trying to be friendly. I don't know what you're worried about!" "He's a toad! You haven't been speaking to him all evening!" "Just humour him, then. What harm will it do for one evening? We'll be going home soon anyway." When they returned to the party, they found Jamie deep in conversation with Ben. "Oh no! Mother you have to do something!" Ali hissed. "He's probably asking dad if he can escort me to some society
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shin-dig." "Don't be such an idiot, Ali. They're just talking." Ben was not 'just talking' with Jamie. He was asking him lots of questions. Like what his intentions towards Ali were. "Entirely honourable, sir, I assure you!" Jamie explained. "She's by far the most attractive female here. She has a wonderful charm about her." "I'll agree. But then, I am biased. Just a word of caution, though." Ben paused. "She can have a bit of an acid tongue. If she doesn't like you, you'll soon know about it." "I've never met a girl yet that I couldn't charm. It's a bit of a gift, if you know what I mean." "Not really, no. I'll give you a warning. If you upset her, in any way, head for the hills 'cause you'll have me to deal with and I'm not a nice man when I'm riled." Ben was smiling at him the whole time he was talking. Mikie saw the look in his eyes when she and Ali approached. "Hello, Jamie! How are you?" she smiled at the young man. "I'm fine, thank you, Lady McKeon and you?" "Oh, swanning along, how are your parents?" "Mother sends her best wishes to everyone. They've gone down to London, guests of the Windsor's, you know how it is." "I'm sure they'll be having a lovely time." "May I compliment you on your lovely daughter, Lady McKeon. I'm quite taken with her." "I can see that, Jamie. You two go and have fun. I need to find a seat." Mikie took the arm of a bemused Ben and led him to the far end of the room. "What the hell was all that?" Ben asked, totally confused by what he had just witnessed. "It's called English snobbery, Ben and that young man is full of it! Now I can see why Ali doesn't like him." "She doesn't?"
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"No. If he's not careful, he'll overstep the mark and she'll.." Mikie stopped mid sentence. The words she had been about to say were too late. The whole room was silent, save for Jamie. "Alesha! I really did not deserve that!" Holding the side of his face where Ali had just slapped him hard. "How dare you! When you insult my father, you insult me! You are an obnoxious, overbearing snob, Jamie McGreggor, and if I never see you again until my last day on this earth that will be too soon!" Ali was talking in a flat tone. She turned on her heals and marched from the room. Jamie looked to where Ben was standing. Ben looked at him with contempt and then followed Ali out of the ballroom. He found her sitting in the library. "Did you have to humiliate him like that? You could have been a little more subtle!" Ben was smiling at her. "It was a little over the top, wasn't it? He's a snake!" "Exactly what did he say to make you hit him?" "Oh, nothing really. He just said that you don't know much about English gentry and that he thought it was quaint how you were prepared to protect my honour, you being just my stepfather." "Oh did he now." "Now Dad, don't you say anything to him. I think he got the message." "I won't if you don't want me to." "You should go back to Mum, or they'll all talk about you." "And what about you? Are you coming?" "Of course! I wouldn't miss this for the world! You'll find this very amusing! Come on!" Ali took Ben's arm and they walked back into the ballroom. All eyes fell on them. Jamie walked slowly towards them. "Alesha! Sir! I owe you both my sincere apologies! I would
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be grateful if you would accept. If I have caused you any distress please take my word that it was in error!" Jamie was looking at the floor. "You can stop crawling now, Jamie." Ali hissed. "You're making a spectacle of yourself!" "Then can I take it that you accept my apology?" "We'll consider it!" Ali led Ben to where Mikie was standing. Mikie was furious. "Just what, young lady, do you think you're playing at?" "I'm not playing at anything. I told you I didn't like him. You knew what I would do." "I think, it would be best for everyone if you say goodnight and leave." Mikie's eyes shone with displeasure. "But Mother." "Now, Alesha!" Mikie would not back down. "And apologise to your Grandparents as you leave." Ben was looking on in amazement. When Ali had done as instructed, he turned to Mikie. "That was a little harsh, wasn't it, darlin'?" "No! She knows how to behave and she's broken every rule in the book. The worst thing is she embarrassed both her Grandfather and also Jamie McGreggor. It's not done, Ben." "All this English gentry stuff is complicated. I don't think I'll ever get used to it." "You don't have to. I choose to live in California, you can get away with pretty much anything out there and still be considered a member of the Royal family." "But you're not a member of the Royal family, are you?" "No, I've explained that. But to an American billionaire who's part of the 'in set' I'm next in line to the throne." "Are you trying to say that American's are uncultured?" Ben was amused by what Mikie was saying. He was unsure whether she was being serious or not.
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"I'm not saying that at all. All I'm saying is that my daughter was brought up to be an English Lady. I think she's been in California too long." "Maybe we should spend more time out here, then." Ben suggested. "I couldn't cope with all the Jamie McGreggor's of this world knocking on the door every five minutes. Besides I like my lifestyle, thank you very much." "I guess that's a 'no' then?" "That's a no." Mikie was aware that Harry had been waiting to interrupt the conversation. "Hello, Daddy." she smiled sweetly at him "Michaela, darling." Harry returned his daughters smile. "You've been awfully hard on Ali. Jamie is a bit of a prat, you know." "Don't you start. She shouldn't have slapped him, he was just being friendly." "All right, but I think you should know something. Jamie is not what he seems." "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means that he's been told by his father to find himself a wife. A wife who will be understanding." "You're not serious?" Mikie was shocked by the implications of what her father was saying. "I'm very serious. I had a conversation with James McGreggor last month. Why do you think Jamie was invited here?" "I don't know what to say. I take it Ali is ignorant of this?" "I'm sure she is. It's a bit of a turn up, though, isn't it?" "Are we privileged to the information?" "We are! Not a word, Mikie please." "You know me the soul of discretion." Mikie winked at her father. "I think it's time I left, Dad. You don't mind do you?"
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"Of course not. If you're tired you'd better go." Harry kissed her cheek and shook Ben's hand. When they had reached their room Ben looked at Mikie, puzzled. "Translate the conversation, please." "Jamie is gay." "What? Don't be ridiculous." "He is. He needs to find an understanding wife who will allow him to father a couple of heirs, but who will turn a blind eye to his indiscretions." Ben stared at her with disbelief. "And he had set his sights on my daughter." "Uh-hum! My daughter." "You know what I mean. I don't believe it." "Homosexuality is not exclusive to the working classes, Ben. It happens in the best circles. Ali will be highly amused if she ever finds out." "Oh it's something to laugh over cocktails at, is it?" "Now who's being a snob? I won't tell her if you don't. let's change the subject." "Okay! What do you want to talk about?" Ben was playing her game, to her rules and Mikie was well aware of it. "Well I'm not sure. How about we talk about us?" "And what about us?" Instead of answering she stood in front of him and allowed the long red gown she was wearing to slip from her shoulders. She was wearing a red body suit which clung to every curve of her torso. Ben sucked in air through his teeth. "You harlot!" he said grinning. "Oh! So I take it you like it then?" "Like is totally inadequate to describe what I'm feeling right now." "So, humour me. Describe how you're feeling." She walked
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seductively towards him. "I couldn't possibly find the words. I'll show you instead." Ben took hold of her waist and pulled her to him. His kisses were hot against her skin. He stood and took the large, silver clip from her hair allowing it to tumble down onto her shoulders. Mikie unfastened his bow-tie and undid the buttons of his shirt. She caressed his chest sending shivers of rapture through his body. They made love for most of the night. It was already dawn when they finally drifted into a contented sleep. Ben woke to find the bed empty beside him. On the pillow he found a small piece of paper. 'I've gone out, I'll be back before dinner. Miss me! Love you lots!' Ben spent the day with Tara, Brett, Ali and Jess. They went riding in the morning and after lunch decided to take the small boat out onto the lake. Mikie's disappearance was news to the children. Brett had passed her as she came out of the breakfast room, but had assumed that she was still in the house. Ali felt it necessary to avoid her mother after the drama of the previous evening. Mikie returned at about six fifteen. She was carrying bags and had been shopping with Margaret. She found Ben in the lounge talking to Harry. Henry and Dave were also in the room with their wives and some of the children. "Hello! We're back." Mikie said brightly. "We're aware of that. Been wearing out the plastic, have you?" it was Dave who spoke first. "You got off lightly, David, darling. Jean didn't want to come with us." Margaret said. "Thank heavens for small mercies. I'd have been bankrupt." Dave dived out of the way of the cushion that Jean threw at him. "You'll be sorry." Jean informed him, with a menacing look in her eye.
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"I see you've all been using up the wine left over from last night." Mikie observed. "When do we need and excuse to party, Mik?" Henry asked. "We had to talk Ben into it though, you've got him right under your thumb, haven't you?" "Ben is his own man. If he wants to drink six bottles of wine in an afternoon, that's up to him! Besides, he's bigger than I am, so I couldn't possibly stop him." Mikie was standing behind the sofa, where Ben was sitting, with her hands on his shoulders. "My apologies, Ben!" Henry winked at Ben. "Oh, she's tried. But I just manage to fend her off." Ben smirked. For that remark Mikie pulled his hair. The whole room was laughing. They stayed chatting about various subjects until James arrived at seven thirty to announce dinner.
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CHAPTER 26 It was nearly ten o'clock when they all emerged from the dining room and went their separate ways to bed or to sit in the drawing room and watch television. Ben was eager to find out what Mikie had bought during her shopping trip. He was impressed. She had bought more of his favourite type of lingerie and had also bought him a watch to replace the one he had broken on New Years Eve whilst out horse riding. "How can I ever thank you?" he said wistfully. "Lover, if you don't know that by now I may as well just curl up in a corner and accept defeat!" "Maybe I've forgotten and I need reminded!" "I'll remind you. I'm a harlot aren't I?" When they were lying in each others arms, two hours later, Mikie propped herself up on her elbow. "I'm glad we decided to come here, Ben I think it's been the best tonic we could have had." "I'm pleased you feel like that. How would you feel if I told you that I'm gonna whisk you away to a desert island for a week so we can build sand castles?" "I'll help you build sand castles, Ben, if that's what you want." Ben had arranged to take her to a small island of the coast of Florida for a week of doing nothing in particular. There were only three houses on the island and they each had their own private beach. Mikie enjoyed the seclusion. It seemed far away from everywhere. During the day they lay around on the warm sand or swam in the blue waters of the Caribbean sea. They made love whenever they felt like it. When they finally returned to San Francisco, Margaret and Harry were waiting for them. Margaret greeted them when they arrived. "It appears to be what you both needed." "It was, Mom! Thanks!" Ben kissed his mother-in-law.
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"Why thank me? You did all the work." "Yeah, but the suggestion came from a good direction." he winked at her. "It's nice to know that two of the people I love most in the world, plot things behind my back." Mikie said. "We didn't plot anything, Mom suggested we get away on our own. I just thought it was a good idea. And I haven't heard any complaints from you." Ben was standing with his arm round Margaret's shoulder looking at Mikie with a smirk on his face. "I wouldn't dream of complaining. It's the best holiday I've ever had." Mikie grinned. "So did you build your sand castles, then?" Tara asked as they walked into the lounge. "What sand castles?" Ben asked puzzled. "We built lots of sand castles, Tara darling, lots!" Mikie said quickly. "Oh! Those sand castles. Yeah we built lots, every day." Ben smirked. Tara looked at Ben and Mikie with confusion. "I wish adults would talk so kids could understand them." she said flatly. "You're still quite the architect then, Dad?" Brett's observation allowed Mikie to know that he knew exactly what they were talking about. "Oh we have our moments, Brett. Many of them." Ben sat down on the sofa and stretched his arms across the back. He had a very satisfied look on his face. "I can see that." Brett observed. "I'd like it if someone could explain it to me." Tara said indignantly. "When you're old enough, I will." Ben replied. "But I'm nearly thirteen." "You come back in five years and I'll explain it then, Tara." "You're gonna have a hellava lot of explaining to do on my
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eighteenth birthday." Tara stamped her foot and stormed off in the direction of the kitchen. "I think you two should grow up. I mean, building sand castles at your age." the look on Ali's face said that she, too knew what they were talking about. "What do you mean, at their age?" Margaret enquired. "Gran'ma! Not you too. I don't want to take part in this conversation any more!" Ali followed her sister into the kitchen, bumping into Harry on the way. "What's all this about sand castles? Tara is most upset." Harry stated. "I think you two are a little old to be playing with sand, aren't you?" "Well that makes us way passed it then." Margaret said, laughing. Harry was confused. "I think it's great you had a good time, Mum!" Brett said kissing Mikie's cheek. "Can someone explain to me about sand castles?" Harry asked. "It's what you do on secluded beaches when you're on your own, Gramps." Brett answered. By the middle of February, Mikie realised that she was pregnant. "Yes, you're very pregnant." Andrew smiled at her. Mikie grinned. "I suppose I'd better go and tell Ben he's gonna be a father." She went off to Ben's office. "He's in a meeting, Mikie. Do you want me to interrupt?" Shirley asked as Mikie approached. "No, it's okay I'll wait." "I was just gonna take some coffee in to them, they've been in there for over an hour." "Okay, you can give him a note from me." Mikie scribbled
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on a note pad and folded the paper. Shirley took the tray of coffee into Ben's office. "I thought you might be in need of this." She smiled. "Shirley, you're an angel!" Ben said to his secretary. "What's the note?" "Oh, I'm not sure. Maybe you should read it." Shirley said handing Ben a cup of coffee. Ben took a mouthful of coffee as he began to read the note. Shirley was holding the door open for him. The coffee cup was put down and he ran from the office. He caught up with Mikie as she was crossing the big lobby of the building. "Just you hold it right there, Michaela Jordan!" He shouted. Mikie turned and looked at him. "Did you want something?" She said innocently. He picked her up and swung her round. "It's fantastic! Why didn't you tell me?" "You were in a meeting." "That's not what I mean. I mean before now?" "Because I only suspected." She kissed him. "Stop spinning, Ben. I feel sick." He was aware that the twenty people in the reception were watching them. "It's okay! We're pregnant." The months seemed to fly passed. Ben would take Mikie breakfast in bed each day. Mikie found it a hard pregnancy spending most of the day in bed in the last two months before the birth. Ben avoided going to the office unless it was vital he be there. He was about to leave for home one afternoon when Michael stopped him. "There's a call, Mr Jordan." "Thanks, Michael, I'll take it here, if that's okay." Ben picked the phone up from the desk. "Hi!" "Oh, right! I'll meet you there!" He replaced the receiver and ran across the lobby to the lift that would take him to the garage. He arrived at the hospital
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just before Mikie. She looked in terrible pain. "Hi, sweetheart, how're you doin'?" he smiled at her as she was carried from the ambulance. "It's the worst it's ever been, Ben! I don't think I can do this!" she panted. "Sure you can, I'm here!" Andrew checked Mikie over. He had a worried look on his face when he emerged from her room. "It's not good, Ben. She's bleeding badly. I'm gonna do a Caesarean Section." "Does she know?" "She wants to talk to you." "Andrew wants to do a C-section. I told him to do whatever it takes. He thinks he may have to do a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding." She said through the pain. "It's you and the baby who matter, darlin' not your womb!" "That's what I thought you'd say." Ben was with her for the birth of their son. "You have to go now, Ben." Andrew said when Ben had seen the baby. Ben kissed Mikie's forehead and left the room. He waited an hour for Andrew to come and tell him how his wife was doing. "She's fine. We stopped the bleeding. But I had to do a hysterectomy." "As long as she's gonna be okay, Andrew. Thank you!" Ben was ecstatic. He went to see Mikie and sat by her bedside until she woke. "Hi! How d'you feel?" "Like I've been in a fight with a bus!" "We have a lovely healthy son and you're gonna be fine." Ben grinned. "Thank you, Ben. For everything." She started to cry. They were tears of sadness mixed with tears of joy. Sadness for Greg and joy for the new son they had.
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They decided to name their new son Thomas. He was a pleasant baby who hardly cried. Jess who was now two and a half years old thought he was wonderful. Ali and Brett were immensely proud of their mother. Tara took charge of everything to do with Tom. It was as if she was trying to regain some of the memories she had of Greg. Ben and Mikie were at last at peace with their ghosts.
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CHAPTER 27 Their life continued in much the same vane for the next five years. Mikie, bored with running the family business from the office had taken Ben's advice and got involved at grass roots level and took an active part in running the restaurants and clubs that were scattered around San Francisco. Ben, too, was bored with the security business and had handed most of the control to Ali after she had completed her degree. He spent most of the day with Mikie helping her run 'The Blue Dolphin Club'. They were still idyllically happy. Brett had finished his Law degree with first class honours. He spent his time working between one of the best law firms in San Francisco and also the top law firm in Newcastle, England. Tara was just about to graduate from high school. She had proved to be an excellent student gaining A plus grades in everything. She had decided that she wanted to be a doctor and had applied to Oxford University to study Medicine. Jess was a bright child who was two grades ahead of her friends of the same age. She was now eight and was impressing even her parents with her ability to play every musical instrument that she picked up. Tom was a bight, happy boy who would spend hours on his own, reading and listening to music. The whole family were attending Tara's graduation. Ben had been tipped of that she was to get a special prize by the principle of the school Mary Duccaster. He found it extremely difficult to keep the secret from Mikie. "There's something you're not telling me, Ben I know that look in your eye!" Mikie was standing behind him in their bedroom watching him dress. "I'm not. Honestly! I don't know where you get such ideas from. Have I ever kept secrets from you?" Ben was trying his
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best but was well aware that he was falling short of the mark. "You've bought her something expensive, haven't you?" "No! I haven't bought her anything yet. Mikie please, I'm not keeping anything from you." "Ben Jordan! I know you well enough to know when you're lying to me." He was about to answer when there was a knock at the door. "Are you two decent? Can I come in?" Tara asked "Sure you can, darlin'." Ben called. "Do I look okay?" She asked nervously. "You look great. Like the princess you are." Ben was full of pride for her. "You're biased. Mum?" "You look fine, Tara, fine." Mikie was full of admiration for her daughter. "You don't think I've overdone the eyes?" Tara asked looking in the mirror on the dressing table. "You're fine. Relax. Be happy. We are." Ben said hugging her. "You're the best Dad in the whole world, have I told you that?" she said to his reflection in the mirror. "You have. And I know. Now we'd better get going or we'll be late." he replied. Tara and Ben started for the door. "Ben! Isn't there something you've forgotten?" Mikie asked still trying to prise information out of him. "No! I don't think so." He shrugged. "Is my tie straight?" "Whatever it is I'll get it out of you if it's the last thing I do." Mikie was exasperated. "Will you stop? I'm not keeping anything from you." "You two are not going to pick today to start fighting, are you?" Tara looked at her parents with horror. "No, honey we're not. You're Mom's got this crackpot idea
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that I'm keeping secrets. I ask you? Have I ever kept anything from her?" Mikie was glaring at him. "I give up. Lets go." Tara had said that she would like to drive her parents to the graduation ceremony, but was now having second thoughts. "You drive Daddy, I'm much too nervous!" she said looking expectantly at Ben. "Okay, sweetheart. Don't worry it'll be great!" Ben smiled at her. Brett was driving his grandparents and Jess in his car. Ali had decided to take Beth and Tom with her. There was a convoy of cars that left the drive for the twenty minute journey to the school. The ceremony went as planned. All the students looked very smart and proud in their pale blue gowns and mortar boards that covered the dinner suits or formal dresses. At the end of the ceremony Mary Duccaster introduced the Mayor of San Francisco, James Petriousie. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have a special award for outstanding achievement to give to a very special young lady this evening. This young lady has gained straight A plus grades in every subject and is only one of three previous students to have done so. The other two students graduated fifteen and seven years ago, respectively, so it is something that is not an every year achievement! It gives me great pleasure to give the Platinum Student award, and the cheque for five thousand dollars that accompanies it, to Miss Tamara Jordan!" Tara was stunned. Mikie was in shock. Brett, Ali the two younger children, their grandparents and Beth stood to applaud. Ben had a huge grin on his face and was clapping and whistling. Mikie then knew the secret he had been keeping from her. "You knew! Why didn't you tell me?" she could not be angry with him.
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"I wanted to see the look on your face! I'm sorry, it was hard keeping it from you." Tara gave a short speech. "I wasn't expecting this! I get the feeling that my Dad knew about this so I'll be having words with him later! I really don't know what to say. Thank you seems so inadequate! I will thank my parents, and grandparents for their help and support. And also my teachers. I'd like to dedicate this award to my brother Greg who died when we were twelve. I love you Greg you gave me the inspiration to do my best! I only hope I can keep on doing it and be the best Neurologist in the world so I can help kids and people like you!" she stepped away from the podium and went back to her friends. Mikie and Ben stood transfixed looking in her direction. She mouthed the words 'I love you' to them. Afterwards there was a party back at the house for all Tara's friends along with their parents. All the young people had a wonderful time and Mikie's children went exhausted to their beds at one thirty in the morning. Ben had been very quiet while Mikie took the make-up from her face. "Are you all right?" she asked concerned. "I'm fine. I didn't realise that she felt like that. She doesn't talk about him much. I thought that she had forgotten about him." Ben was very quiet. "How could she forget about him? She still goes into Tom's room when he's not there and talks to Greg. I often stand and listen to what she has to say." "She does?" Ben said, surprised. "She tells him what's been happening. Which boy she's seeing at the moment. She asks how Jack is and about Ben. She sits quietly in between, like he's answering her. I could swear I've heard his voice sometimes. Jack's too." "They talk to me, too. I've always thought it was my
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imagination, just my mind answering the way I think they would. It's one of the reasons why I'll never leave this house. I don't think I would be able to do that anywhere else." "You've never mentioned this before." Mikie was quiet. "As if I would tell you that I talk to my dead partner and our dead son and get answers. You'd cart me off to the nearest nut house!" "No I wouldn't! I believe that we all go somewhere when we're through living on this planet. And why shouldn't we have conversations with the people we love? There are people who do that sort of thing every day, all over the world. Why should we be any different?" "You never cease to amaze me, do you know that?" "It's supposed to be like that, Ben. We're not supposed know every intricate detail all at once. We'd soon get bored with each other if we did. That's what keeps us going." "I love you." "I know. We have to keep growing, Ben. We have to change so that we can deal with the things life throws at us. If we stop doing that we may as well just give up the fight and lay down and die." "You're being very philosophical, tonight. I like this side of you. It's making me think." "Now are you sure you want to do that? I mean, you'll end up with a headache!" she smirked at him. "If I'd have thought ten years ago, I might not have married you, then I wouldn't have to put up with the sarcasm!" "You love it really. Besides if you hadn't married me where would you be right now?" "In some dull apartment, alone with a bottle of whiskey, desolate, miserable, probably bankrupt, in a pretty dire condition I guess!" Mikie looked at him.
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"What?" he asked. "I'm just imagining you. You would be in a pretty bad way, wouldn't you? It's a good job you've got me isn't it?" "Jack did me a favour when he died." "He did?" Mikie was perplexed. "Yeah he led me to you! It was the best gift he'd ever given me!" "I remember years ago how you described me as a 'something' now you're sayin' I'm an 'it' I'd like to be described as a person once in a while!" Mikie was standing in front of him running her fingers through his hair. "When have I ever described you as a 'something'?" "The first day I took you to Millbank, when we were sitting by the lake." She reflected. "I don't remember, what did I say?" "You said that Jack didn't know when he had something good." "Oh, yeah! Now I remember! Gees, I must be gettin' old!" "You'll always be thirty five to me Ben." "Why thirty five?" "Because that's how old you were when we first met." "I guess I'll only ever be as old as you think I am. That's what you do to me, you keep me young at heart." "I try my best. Do you remember the sand castles we built on that island?" "Do I ever!" "Yeah, well, I decided that we need something like that again so I've booked us a week in a couple of weeks time." "You clever girl! That's just what I need! I have to confess that I've been feeling a little old lately. Maybe it's Tara graduating, I'm not sure." "Stop thinking you're old! 'Cause if you think you're old you'll start looking old!"
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"Yeah, well! I'm still very much alive!" "You are?" "Come here and I'll prove it!" Prove it he did, for hours. They still made love often. They still slept entwined in each others arms.
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CHAPTER 28 They returned from their holiday relaxed and happy. The children had decided to go to England with their grandparents and Ben and Mikie were to join them in a few days time. The only reason they had returned to San Francisco was for an appointment that Mikie had with Andrew Peterson. "So why exactly does Andrew want to see you?" Ben had asked as he drove her to the Doctor's office. "He didn't say. It's probably got something to do with the check-up I had. Everything will be fine!" When they got to the hospital Andrew was in surgery and they had to wait for about ten minutes. "Mikie! Ben! I'm sorry I'm late! Emergency, you know how it is!" Andrew smiled. "Well you're here now!" Mikie said brightly. "I'm gonna get straight to the point, Mikie. There was a test that showed up a potential problem." "What kind of problem?" The colour had drained from Ben's face. "Now don't you worry, Ben. I just want to repeat the test. It could have been a contaminated slide." "Which test, Andrew?" "A blood test. It came up with a strange result. It's happened before and turned out to be down to equipment not being sterile." Andrew repeated the test. "I'll get the lab to do it now. It should be back in an hour. Let me buy you both lunch!" he said brightly. After lunch the three returned to Andrew's office. The file was on his desk. He sat and read it, looking up at Mikie and Ben a couple of times. "I want you to come and spend a couple of days in the hospital, Mikie." "Why?" Ben was sitting on the edge of the chair.
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"Calm down Ben, I need to run some more tests." "You think I have cancer, don't you?" Mikie said quietly. "Don't jump to conclusions, Mikie." Andrew was trying to soften the blow. "Tell me straight, Andrew, I need to know." Mikie was looking directly at him, she did not dare to look at Ben. "It's almost certain. I need to find out where and how bad, then we can decide on a course of treatment." Ben was distraught. How could this be happening? Why? He could not look at Mikie. Mikie stayed in the hospital for the rest of the day then insisted on going home. Andrew went to the house later on that evening. "Mikie, there's a tumour about the size of a golf ball attached to your small intestine. I'm pretty sure I can remove it without much damage then we'll start you on Chemotherapy!" Andrew's tone was very gentle. "You can't be serious! When did that start? This is not happening!" Ben was nearly hysterical. "Ben. Listen to me." Mikie was standing in front of her husband. "We're gonna have to face it, darling. We'll get through, we're strong." She was speaking very quietly. "I can't." "Yes you can. You have to. Someone has to look after the kids." "Not me! That's your territory! I can't lose you, Mikie, I can't live without you!" Ben broke down and cried. The thought that he might lose Mikie was too horrible to think. How could he live without her? Who would he go to for advice? All the thoughts and feelings of how he had felt when he had lost people he loved came flooding back into his mind. His mother who had died when he was seventeen, his father when he was thirty. Grandparents, Jack, Greg, even the men he had seen blown apart
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during the war. He had been able to cope with them all, but this was different. Mikie was his strength, his soul mate. How could he cope with losing her? Andrew left them to deal with the news. "Ben. Ben, look at me." Mikie had knelt down on the floor in front of Ben,. "I'll fight it, Ben, but you have to help me. I'm stubborn, you know that. I can beat this, but I can only do it if you help me." "Oh Mikie! I can't live without you! Don't leave me, please! I'm nothing without you!" He sobbed. "Stop this, Ben!" She said, sharply. "You're not gonna cave in! You're not gonna fall apart! You have to help me through this! You're my strength!" She was trying to sound angry but was falling way short of the mark. Ben looked deep in her eyes. He did not need to say what he was thinking. "I'm not Jack! I'm not gonna give in to this! I've got too much to live for! Andrew can remove the tumour, the rest we can get with drugs. It's gonna be a hard battle, Ben, but we'll do it together." She held him. Mikie was booked into the hospital the following day for the operation to remove the tumour. Ben insisted on staying with her. He sat on her bed and held her until the porters came to collect her. He walked with them. "You have to wait here, Ben." Mikie said gently. "I'll be okay. I'll see you soon." Ben reluctantly let go of her hand and watched as the doors to the operating room closed between them. He spent the next three hours pacing the floor outside Brett, Ali and Tara were with him. "Come on Dad, she's been through worse than this. Let's go and have coffee and something to eat." Tara had taken hold of Ben's arm.
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"I'm not hungry, you go I'll wait here." He tried to smile at her. "Dad, this isn't gonna do any good. The time will pass much quicker if your mind is occupied!" Ali spoke sharply to him. "I'm fine. I'm staying!" "Dad, listen! Mum wouldn't want you exhausting yourself like this. If you love her as much as you say, you'll stay on top of things. Come and have some coffee. Ali's right the time will pass more quickly!" Brett was standing with his hands on Ben's shoulders. Ben looked at him and nodded. "Okay, I'll come." The four of them walked to the cafeteria and sat drinking coffee for an hour. Brett, Ali and Tara tried to help by chatting about trivial things that were going on with their friends. Ben took little part in the conversation. "Maybe we can go up to the ranch when Mum gets out of the hospital, Dad, what do you think?" Brett asked. "Maybe, we'll see." Ben was starting to crack under pressure of worry. "She'll be all right, Dad, you love each other, it'll carry her through this. She won't leave you, trust me." Brett spoke softly to Ben. Ben remembered how he had given his condolences after Jack had died. "I can't go on without her." Ben said quietly. "She's my whole world. I can't lose her, I don't know how to live without her." "Don't you start crying. I've used up all my tissues." Tara had put her hand on top of Ben's and was looking deep into his eyes. "What ever happens you still have us kids. I know its not the same but we need you too. You have to be strong. Think of Greg and take your strength from him, just don't crumble. I need you, Daddy." "It's hard, Tara, it's so hard. I thought I was gonna cave in
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when Greg died, I can't take anymore of this, I'm sorry. I don't have any fight left." "Bennett Jordan! The last thing you are is a quitter. Don't you dare cave in now. If you do I'll never forgive you! If you crumble who's gonna buy us ice-cream? Who's gonna tell us about building sand castles?" Ali was shouting at him. "Stop being so bloody selfish, Dad! What about us? She's our mother!" Ben looked at her, along with the other sixty or so people who occupied the room. "Ali, please don't make me do this." He was staring at her with blank eyes. "I will make you do this! I won't let you give in! Mum would never forgive me!" "I can't do it, Ali! My whole life is on that operating table. If I lose Mikie I lose everything! My life is nothing without her!" Ben allowed the tears to run from his eyes. "You're writing her off! Don't you see? If you don't help her to fight, we're all gonna lose her! How can you do this, Dad?" "I'm scared!" "And so are we! She's our strength too, Dad!" "Stop it you two! Now!" Brett stood up and looked at Ben and Ali. "Stop being so bloody selfish, both of you! It's Mum we should be thinking about not us! I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this anymore!" Brett walked out of the cafeteria and back to the room where his mother would be brought when the operation was over. When Ben found him, he was looking out of the window. "I'm sorry, Brett. You're right. We are thinking of ourselves. I love her. What can I do?" "Have some faith! She's gonna be okay, Dad, trust me, I know!" Brett had a pleading look in his eyes. "She won't let us down. She never breaks a promise." "I want to believe you, Brett, I really do. My mother was a
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strong woman, she fought hard against the cancer that killed her. You can't predict how someone will cope with it. I want her to get through this, Brett, but I've seen what it can do." "You still have the image of Jack in your head. Stop thinking about him! He was weak! Mum is the strongest person I know! She'll pull through." "Jack died in this room, when I look at that bed I can see him lying there, then it changes to Mikie." Ben shrugged. "I know it's wrong to think like that but I can't help it." Brett hugged him. They stood for a long time lost in their own thoughts, giving strength to each other. When Mikie was wheeled back into the room and settled into the bed Ben sat with her. He held her hand tightly, as if to leave go would mean that she would be lost to him. He stayed with her all night and most of the following day. When she finally opened her eyes she looked at him. "Hello!" she said as brightly as she could manage. "Hi!" Ben smiled at her. "How d'you feel?" "Like I've been hit by a bus!" "Andrew said he managed to get all the tumour, so he thinks you'll get through." "See! I told you to trust me." Mikie touched Ben's face. "I've no intention of leaving you, Ben. You do know that, don't you?" Ben nodded. "I know how hard it is for you, darling, but you have to help me. I'm not out of the woods yet." "I know. We'll get through." He tried to look convincing. Andrew started the chemotherapy a week later. For all the brave fight she put up Ben found himself in the same stifling heat of the same hospital room a month later. The powerful drugs were taking their toll on her strength. She had caught an infection and was very weak. Ben held her hand.
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"You'll be okay, Ben." Her voice was very quiet, her breathing laboured. "I'll look after you, I promise. You have to be strong, for the sake of the kids. They need you now, Ben. I'll always love you." "I can't go on without you, Mikie. I can't." his voice was shaking with grief. "You can. You have to. You have to think of Jess and Tom. Brett, Ali and Tara will need you more than ever now. Promise me you'll be brave, Ben, I don't want to leave you. I'm so sorry. I love you." "Mikie, fight some more please. You're so close to beating this." he was gripping her hand. She slipped into a deep coma. Ben sat by her bedside for the better part of three weeks. She was pumped full of so many drugs that her slim body swelled to almost twice its size. Brett, Ali and Tara took turns to sit with him. Beth brought the two younger children to visit every day. Mikie was lost in her own world. A world that was filled with the people she had loved and who had died. Jack was the first to speak to her. 'You shouldn't be here yet, Mikie!' 'Where am I? I don't understand.' 'It's sort of a half way place. You come here just after you leave your body. You can't stay. It's not time.' 'It's so peaceful. Why can't I stay?' 'You have to go back. Your not done living yet!' Jack brought Greg to see her. 'I'm fine, Mommy. I'm sorry I had to leave but I have work to do here. I'm glad you still talk to me. Tell Tara thanks for what she said. She doesn't hear me sometimes.' 'Oh, Greg! We were so lost when you left! Ben found it so hard.' 'I know, I was there. I tried to help him but he wouldn't
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listen. I think he thought I was his imagination. Jack tried too, he almost got through to him then you snapped him out of it. ' Jack took Mikie for a walk through a beautiful garden. They walked in silence but Mikie knew that Jack was talking to her. She felt his words. 'I'm sorry I hurt you, Mikie. Ben was right, I didn't know when I had something good. I knew he was in love with you, that's why I told him to tell you that I was dead. I'm glad you two are together. I was wrong about Greg too. I understand now why he had to have his problem. It was to teach me compassion. I didn't learn it until I was here. When it finally sunk in, Greg had done his job. That's why he came to me. I'm glad Ben is their father. Will you tell him that I'm sorry for being such a jerk?' 'Of course I'll tell him. I'm not sure if he'll believe me though.' 'He will! You have to go back now, Mikie! You're not supposed to be here.' 'But I want to stay! There is no pressure here. Why can't I stay?' 'You still have a lot of work to do, Mom! Dad needs you! Give everyone a hug and a kiss from me, please. Tell Tom I'll see him in a couple of days.' Greg hugged his mother. 'Jess will find the answer when she's playing the piano.' 'What answer?' 'Tell her she'll understand! I love you lots! You have to go!' Greg left her standing with Jack. 'It's time to go back.' 'I don't want to leave.' 'You have to, look!' As Mikie looked she could see her family gathered in the hospital room. Ben looked so frightened. Her children were praying for her to wake up. Even though they were not speaking
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she could hear their thoughts. It was Thursday of the third week. Ben had fallen asleep with his head on Mikie's arm. He woke to the tug of his hair. "Hi." Mikie's eyes were shining. "Mikie?" Ben was confused and excited. "How do you feel?" "I've got a head like thunder and my back hurts like hell, but I think I feel a bit better than I did before I went to sleep." Brett had ran to the nurses station to summon Andrew. Ali and Tara had gone into the room to see Mikie. When Brett returned she was sitting up in the bed. "I feel like a beached whale! What have they done to me?" "Pumped you full of powerful drugs, I think they've done the trick" Ali said brightly. "I just hope I'm not gonna be swelled up like this for ever, I'll never fit into any of my clothes!" "I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe!" Ben was grinning at her. He was still unsure if this was real or some strange trick his imagination was playing on him. "Well! Look at you! That'll teach me to write something off!" Andrew said, amazed at her recovery. Mikie started to laugh. Then Ben, realising why, started to laugh with her. The others stood looking perplexed. "What's funny?" Tara asked. "I guess we'll have to tell her, she's over eighteen now!" Mikie said to Ben. Ben explained about describing Mikie as a 'something' and they all started laughing. Mikie stayed in the hospital for another two weeks. When she returned home it was with the knowledge that she was in full remission from the cancer. How long the remission would last no one could say but Ben hoped it would be a long time.
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CHAPTER 29 They all went to the ranch, as Brett had suggested. They were sitting on the porch the second night after their arrival. "I have to tell you all something. I'm not mad. It's not the drugs talking! And I know you all know that what I'm about to say is true." Mikie looked at her family. "When I was in the hospital I went to a different place. I spoke with Jack and Greg." "We know. We heard you talking with someone. That's how we knew you'd be okay." Ben smiled at her. "Jack didn't want you when he was alive and he doesn't want you now, so we figured that you still have things to do." Mikie was amazed by what Ben said. "I heard what Jack said to you, Mommy. I told Daddy and he said everything would be okay now!" Jess looked at her mother with a big smile on her face. "I've been wondering how to tell you all and you knew all along!" "We all talk to them, Mum. We don't always hear the answers, but I think that that's because we need to find our own answers sometimes!" Brett had put his arm around his mother's shoulders. "They love us and we love them. Love counts for everything, it's stronger than anything that man can make and nothing can break the bond of love, not even death!" Mikie had found a new sense of peace within her. Brett and Ali returned to the city leaving Ben and Mikie at the ranch with Jess, Tom and Tara. They stayed for two weeks until it was time for Tara to leave for England to visit her grandparents and take up her place at Oxford University. The whole family were gathered round her at San Francisco airport waiting for her plane to leave. After hugging and kissing everyone she opened the bag she had for hand luggage and gave Ben a parcel. "I know you're gonna need these, Dad! I think there should
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be enough to see you till you get home!" she had a sarcastic tone in her voice. Ben opened the parcel to find a box of tissues. "Thanks! I will need them. You're supposed to stay here, remember?" "That was a long time ago, Dad! You have Brett, Ali and the little ones now. You don't need me to hold your hand anymore!" The public address system announced the departure of the flight. "I love you all! I'll phone and write!" She was trying to sound brave, but knew she was not succeeding. "Don't you dare start crying, Dad! Or I'll never get on the plane! I'll be back at Christmas!" Tara smiled at them then turned and walked towards the departure gate. Ben watched her walk away from him, then he ran after her. "Tara!" He caught up with her and flung his arms round her. "I'm gonna miss you!" "Dad! I'm not nine anymore! You're embarrassing me! For heavens sake pull yourself together!" "This is the first time you've gone anywhere on your own! I'm worried, that's all!" Tara was looking, pleadingly, over his shoulder to Mikie. Mikie walked to where they were standing. "Come on, Ben! Let her go or she'll miss the flight!" Mikie put her hand on his shoulder. "You call me when you get to New York?" He said desperately to Tara. "And when I get to Newcastle and Millbank! I really do have to go Dad!" Ben reluctantly let her go and stood transfixed watching her walk away. "Come on you!" Mikie said taking his hand. "She's a big girl now! She'll be okay!"
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"She'll always be my little girl! I can't believe that she's gone!" "She'll be back. Give it a month and she'll be on the phone asking you to send her more money." Mikie led Ben to the window so he could watch the plane take off. "I didn't think I'd ever be here. Not watching Tara leave! It's hard for me to accept that she's grown up!" "She didn't want to go. She told me this morning. She said she could find a different college, nearer home. I told her to follow her heart." "How come she didn't tell me this?" "You would have talked her into staying. She has to find her own way sooner or later, Ben. She'll be back before you know it." "Yep! I guess you're right! I need consoling. Let's go have some ice-cream!" "And my friends are puzzled when I say my eldest child is fifty four years old!" Mikie teased. "It's you're fault. You won't let me grow up!" "Rubbish! Men don't ever grow up! I think it's a hormone deficiency!" She knew that finally she had found the definition of something special. Ben and her family. Whatever life threw at them they would face together.
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Jordan Jordan-McKeon Trilogy Part 1