L.O.V.E.

It was a bright Sunday morning and the alarm clock was now at rest after being snoozed off almost 10 times. It was Sunday after all, no need to worry about getting up late. He opened his sleepy eyes just as the clock showed half past 10. It was about 4 hours late then he used to wake up, but it was fine, not only because it was Sunday, but also because it had been the best Saturday in his entire life. With sleep not totally gone from his eyes he glanced around to the other side of the bed. Olivia, his wife was still asleep by his side. He looked at her more carefully then he normally does and still couldnt come in terms with the fact that he was actually married to her. She had just a little hint of sunlight crossing over her left eye; he could see that she felt uncomfortable with light directly in her eyes but she was too sleepy to actually notice it. He put his hand to block the ray to directly fall on her eye and she finally managed to sleep comfortably. Just out of humor he removed it and the lines again formed on the cute little forehead of her. After fighting it for almost a minute, she seemed to finally give in and she turned over to the other side with her back facing him. The glittering sunlight was now directly on her hair, which gave the idea to Nick and he started playing with them. He loved to play with her hair, especially when she felt annoyed with it. Finally trying to open her mouth in her sleep she said something which sounded like she wanted to sleep a little more, which was quite obvious actually. Nick finally gave a look at the clock again, which now showed almost 11 and it struck in his mind that he had a doctors appointment at 1 and he had to get ready for it. He got up, made breakfast and brought it to the bedroom. He didnt normally do this stuff, but he didnt want to disturb her sleep today. To his amazement, she still was half asleep. He slowly crawled into his side of the bed, put his arm around her and gently kissed her neck. Morning sunshine he whispered. Mmmmmmmmm she moaned stating the fact that she still wanted to sleep. Sleep all you want then, I guess I will go to Doctor Martin all by myself today, as he again kissed her neck. He simply loved kissing her neck, he never understood why. I am up, I am up she abruptly woke up with her face telling she left her dream incomplete. But she knew deep inside of her that Nick was much more important to her than her dream. Get ready soon love. Appointment is at 1 and we are going to be late Just half an hour she said and ran towards the bathroom. He was left smiling simply thinking of how they got married. Nick wasnt the particularly the cheesy guy you might think he was. At least he wasnt, till sometime before. It was about a year before when he and Olivia met for the first time, at a mutual friends house. Slowly, their friendship grew and even slowly, it turned into love, at least from Nicks side. He was not the kind of guy who would have thought about falling in love and that too with a friend. He had his share

of crushes, but he also had a commitment phobia inside of him, which was the reason he had been single almost all his life. But Olivia changed everything about him. He forgot all about his crushes and fell deeply in love with her. When he purposed for the first time, she rejected because of the most common reason guys get rejected most of the times, she wasnt ready for a commitment. But thankfully, soon enough she too realized the feeling towards him and she too fell in love with him. After a while, they both were married and to an outsider, their story was no less than a fairytale. It was just a half an hour remaining for the doctors appointment and while she was still getting ready, he was ready. Nick actually liked getting ready before time so as to see Olivia getting ready, the way she plays with her wet hair, Nick couldnt help smile at that. But smiling or no smiling, they were going to be late. Frankly, Nick thought, I never really wanted to go see a doctor for a mild problem in breathing, she can be really bossy sometimes. But he knew she just cared for him too much to let anything go, it was in fact one of the reasons why he loved her so much. It was around 1 and thankfully they were able to reach to the doctors in time with all the credit going to the less then mild Sunday traffic. Nick hated medicines and the doctor gave him a lot of those, but he also wanted to get all better. Willing yet a little scared Nick with a totally confident Olivia entered the building and went straight towards the doctors chambers. While Olivia thought it would be better for her to wait outside, Nick wanted her inside with him, but didnt say so. So going form a little scared to a lot scared, Nick carefully opened the door with a slight creak in the end, loud enough for the doctor to hear it and turn around. Welcome Nick, I was expecting you. Doctor said. Sorry sir for being late, its all due to Sunday you know, being lazy and stuff. I hope my reports came back?? he said trying to apologize to the doctor for being a little late. Yes they have, but I think you should sit down first said the doctor with a stone cold expression, careful not to give anything away. Is everything all right, doctor?? said Nick going from being a lot scared to being hands shaking-ly nervous. Nick, your reports came back this morning, and I am afraid you have Cancer. Doctor said, again with a poker face. Wha-wha-wh-what?? He was shocked. Here he was scared of taking an extra pill or something and the doctor was telling him that he had the most dangerous disease in the world. Yes, you have a final stage lung cancer, which I am afraid doesnt give much time for you to live. You were having trouble not because you had some infection, but because your lungs are now too weak to do the breathing process. It is kind of rare because it gets detected normally at a relatively early stage, but seeing what your condition is, I wont put much hope into it. I am really sorry. Again the stone face.

The stuff going on in Nicks mind is kind of hard to explain. He had just married the girl he loved; he had many dreams, aspirations for himself and his love. He dreamt of starting a family soon, thought he didnt really talk about it with Olivia much about it. He dreamt of going round the world; visit his favorite city, Paris. But now everything seemed very distant. He wasnt nervous at this point; in fact he didnt feel anything at all. He just sat there feeling numb, with a particular memory going on in his mind. I already told you, I am just not ready for a relationship, not with you or with anyone. Nick I respect your feelings, but I just cant do anything about it. I am sorry. Said Olivia But I love you Said Nick. I know, but I might not be the right girl for you. Frankly I think you are wasting your time on me. You are a really nice guy and can any girl you want she said trying to be supportive. But I dont want any girl, I want to be with you he said, with a hint to tear in his eye. Please dont do this to me Nick; I love you, but only as a friend and nothing more. I really am not the right girl for you. You know I heard it somewhere, you can have the best love affair of all time, or you can have nothing, but you wont know until you try. I know there are huge chances it would end up in a break up, but if there is any chance that this might be it, for the both of us, I want to stick to it. He said taking her hands into his hands. It was actually how Nick and Olivia got together. Olivia decided to give him a chance and finally they were actually meant for each other. This memory was special to Nick because deep inside of his heart he knew they would end up together. It was their destiny. Nick wasnt the one to sit and wait for destiny to strike, he was the one who got up and did something if he had even a hint of making it. But this time, he knew deep inside of his heart that he stood no chance. He had a fear of what is going to happen to Olivia after he died and unfortunately his fears were coming true. How much time do I have was all he could get out from his mind. About 4 or may be, if we are really lucky, 5. But you would start to feel the serious consequences from 2nd month itself and probably would be on a ventilator for the last month. Doctor didnt really want to keep him in any disillusion, then again continuing, As I said, this is pretty rare, but I believe environment factors or may be heredity might have something to do with it. Some people have a certain affinity to some diseases, and the cause of this affinity might be heredity or anything else. You told me your father had similar kind of cancer, so I believe you might have this problem hereditary. Cancer is not really a disease with goes down generations, but its affinity might, which I believe is your case. Thanks doctor he said and got up. He didnt have anything more to say. Even if he did, it wouldnt have made a difference. He was, after all, dying.

While he was getting up from the chair, he felt dizzy and tired to find some kind of support, but it was too late and he fell hard into the ground. The doctor stood up to help him but he refused and started trying to get up. After trying really, really hard, he could finally manage to get to his two feet and somehow with all the courage he had left inside of him, he started to walk out of the door. While walking out he head Olivia chuckling about something the receptionist had just said. This was the greatest sound he might have ever heard in his life. He somehow opened the door and Olivia came running towards him and hugged him. Hey honey, what did the doctor say?? Is everything all right?? And why are you sweating so much? Is A/C not working inside the room?? He smiled. Just listening to her voice made him feel better, just a touch of her flesh made him able to stand up on his feet, just the warmth of his body made him try to live. But he had to face the facts. He was dying and he couldnt do anything about it. A silent tear rolled down his eye when he hugged Olivia while he was thinking to tell her or not. Olivia spoke up again as she hugged him tightly, And by the way dont you forget we have to go shopping today, alright? I want you to look absolutely stunning when we visit my mums house this week. After all she should also now she married her daughter to a perfect man Nick released the embrace, held her face between his hands and kissed her forehead. He looked directly into her eyes and it made him realize how happy she was. He said to himself, I will tell her soon, not now, just not yet. While driving back to the house, Nick was still trying to figure out the way he would tell Olivia that he was dying and it was just a matter of a few months. Nick himself wasnt yet ready to face the facts let alone try and explain them to her. All the way home Olivia kept speaking of the things which he didnt quiet listen, not that he didnt wanted to but just that he was too much deeply lost in her face and the way it moved while she talked that he couldnt hear what she was actually saying. happened. Isnt it weird baby?? she asked something. Nick she called out figuring out the fact that he wasnt listening. You always do this, here I am talking and you dont even find it important enough to listen properly. I hate you. She frowned saying the last line. Nick smiled, knowing the fact she lied about the last part. He was about to say something when he stopped noticing the little tension line on Olivias forehead, he found it cute. Finally he decided he would not say anything. He put up his left hand on Olivias head and lightly stroked it as if he was telling her that she acts immature sometimes and he still adores it. It was a few days after that Sunday and Nick started to have a little more trouble in breathing. This time he was kind of fine with it because he knew it was actually going to get far worse in a few weeks. Olivia had been pushing him to get a second opinion about his breathing problems as according to her Dr. Martin didnt give any medicines. Nick gave a sad smile every time Olivia would nag him about it as she didnt knew at that time that there was no medicine or doctor in the world that could save him.

Dealing with the fact that you are going to die within a few weeks is in itself a huge problem for obvious reasons, but for him the bigger problem was how he was going to tell Olivia about it and what would she do after he had died. Nick wasnt a drinker, he never actually drank his entire life, he practically hated the people who drink but this was either the pressure of claws of death slowly moving towards him or the fact that was eating him away that Olivia would be left alone after him which made him enter a bar for the first time in his life. He ordered a Cuba Libre, which was essentially rum with coke and sat in a relatively quiet corner of the bar. He held the glass in his hand and after almost 15 minutes of studying it for no reason he finally took one sip. It felt as if someone has burned the inside of his food pipe. He could actually feel the rum going down, burning everything it touched. Somehow he finished the first sip, the sour taste still lingered in his mouth but the burning had stopped, at least for now. For some unexplainable reason he suddenly had an urge to take another sip even after knowing it was going to burn again. He drank the whole glass in the next 5 minutes. After finishing the final drop which was left in the glass he almost smashed it down on the table, smiling while he does so. It burned like hell in his chest but he wanted more. He ordered the bartender to send him another glass and also ordered to keep them coming. Before he was finished that night Nick drank 17 glasses of Cuba Libre and still kept it together. His chest was still burning though, but just enough that he knew he was done for today. He walked up, a little shaky but still better than most and strolled right out of the bar. He checked his pocket for his phone and after finally finding it he fumbled to unlock the main screen. After some desperate attempts, he finally was successful and he saw what he anticipated. Olivia left 112 texts and 145 calls. Nick was technically late for over four hours which made over 27 texts and 37 calls per hour. He now started feeling a little guilty on what she might have been going through but still somewhere at the back of his mind he thought that this was going to be her life after he was gone. NO, he firmly said to himself, she deserves to know. He got into his car and drove straight to his house. It had been raining cats and dogs all the way home and while he was parking his car in the driveway he saw Olivia opening the door and running towards him, not caring about the rain or anything else for that matter. He got out of the car by the time Olivia reached him, soaking wet by now and she almost jumped over him, making him loose his balance for a while and she hugged him tighter then she had ever hugged him before. The time he had not been replying had been the worst time of her life and she wanted to make sure he was fine. When Olivia merely touched him, all the burning sensation he had in his chest vanished, as if it had never been there before. The temperature was freezing cold and yet both of them felt warmth in each others arms. Suddenly, almost simultaneously they started crying, Olivia because she was too deeply worried about him and Nick because he couldnt keep it in him any longer. He silently wished god to stop the moment right there and then or at least slow it down. Even though it was raining heavily, they both could see each other crying, and crying helplessly. Olivia tried stopping herself but she was too overwhelmed by an unknown emotion that she couldnt stop, not even if she wanted to. Same was the case with him, he tried speaking something but every time he tried opening his mouth, he started crying louder and sadder than he actually was before that. After about 15 minutes, Olivia finally found the courage to loosen up and see the face of Nick, who she knew had been crying. She slightly pushed him away from herself to see how Nick was, but when she

finally managed to be as far as from her to b able to see his face, he felt herself sinking down the ground, she saw immense sadness, something she couldnt see before. She could see that something had happened to him, or something was about to, something so dreadful that Nick couldnt gather up the courage to talk to Olivia about it. He looked at her face, so shining, so bright and so beautiful. He looked in her eyes, almond shaped which were now a little swollen because of the crying, but still amidst all this, he saw peace and love. He saw a certain satisfaction in her eyes. The expression suddenly changed to disbelief as he knew she had realized there was something wrong with him. He had always been the eye reader but this time Olivia had done it before he could fake it, not that he was going to. With all the courage he had left after fighting off the disease that was going to kill him, he looked straight into the eyes he once fell in love with and just said, I am dying baby. I am dying and I cant do anything about it. It had now been exactly 4 months and 11 days since doctor broke the news of Cancer to Nick, and it had been about 4 months since Nick broke this news out to Olivia. She had almost been numb for a few hours of Nick telling her that, but she soon realized that Nick needed her right now. She has been taking care of him since then, they had consulted every doctor they could find and none of them knew what to do in his situation. Nick had been shifted to a ventilator from the last 5 days, a week after he decided he wasnt going to see any more doctors. He knew he was dying; he wanted to die in peace. Olivia had been exceptionally strong in front of Nick, but he could see the sadness sprawled right across her face for all of the 24 hours of the day. She had been taking better care of him then any nurse could, which was her own decision not to employ any nurse to take care of him, whether it was as small as changing the side of the pillow or cleaning up after him after his natures call or giving him baths, she was always there for him, not because she thought it was a duty of a wife to take care of her husband but because she wanted to take care of him, she wanted to be beside him when he took his last breath, plain and simple. The disease had taken its toll on both of them. The once lovely face of Olivia was now just a tiny of what she was, these past 4 months made her look more than a decade older then she really was, and Nick, he was just left a shadow of man he once was. Weighing a little over 40 kilograms in his last medical checkup, he didnt have enough strength to even stand on his own feet. He had to be carried out everywhere on a wheelchair. It was hard for both of them for him being in that position. The doctor had just left after his routine 9.30 pm checkup and had given Nick a sedative injection as he had trouble sleeping the previous night. Just after the doctor left, Olivia was getting her bed ready and Nick was almost asleep, coughing once or twice every few minutes, when suddenly Nick coughed out so hard that it seemed like he choked on something. Olivia came running towards him trying to pacify him so that he wouldnt have that much trouble breathing. She started to turn around to get a nurse or someone to attend him but he held her hand and tried saying something but couldnt get out the words. Olivia knew what he wanted; he wanted her to stay with him. She hugged him tightly and Nick, even though he couldnt breathe felt as if he was going to live, at least for now. He finally went into sleep after Olivia had been massaging his head for over 3 hours.

Nick and his elder cousin were sitting at someone elses funereal. The chairs had been lined up as if a huge amount of people were expected to show up. He looked at himself and he looked normal, exceptionally normal. While the service was still going, his cousin stood up and said, Nicky I think I am going to go now. This stuff is really boring. You coming? Nick didnt know what to answer. Even he was getting bored watching all of this but he still didnt want to disrespect the dead. He said to his cousin, you go, I will catch you later Okay, but dont be too late, I will be waiting. He said and walked out. Nick suddenly realized there was something wrong with everything around him. He got up walking to pay respect to the person who was dead, saw a women, even though she looked older he could see she was about the age of Nick himself sobbing helplessly. He went closer to the coffin and couldnt explain what he saw. He saw himself, or a man who looked like Nick but was dangerously weak lying there, lifelessly. Nick suddenly woke up coughing hard, even taking Olivia, who was still sitting beside him by surprise. He saw himself and everything around him and it struck him that what he was seeing was just a dream. The cousin he just met had been dead for almost a decade. He had only head about these legends that someone close to you who is dead comes to take you with him. Suddenly Nick realized his time was marked. He was going to die soon, very soon. He saw Olivia sitting by his side and started to cry. Nick died the next day. The cancer had spread throughout his lungs and even with ventilator it was not possible to keep him alive. At his funeral, a huge crowd of people were present to show last respects to the man they all loved. Such a number ever amazed Olivia but she knew he was the man who loved everybody. She met a lot of his old classmates who told her stories about him. She laughed and cried with all of them, as if they were her friends, not of his husbands, late husbands. When she finally returned home after everyone left, giving their condolences and showing their love she was left alone in the house in which they wanted to grow their future together. She started to collect all of his belongings, which were practically everywhere in the house, silently cursing him for being too messy when she stumbled upon his wallet. She opened it and among some cash and credit cards she found a picture of her and Nick together. She remembered the time when the pictured was taken. They were gone on a holiday with some of their friends and she did something to offend him. Nick was still angry with her when this picture was taken and Olivia was actually giving him a sorry hug. On the back of the picture Nick has written, I love you baby. Olivia was confused on how she should react. She had made a promise to Nick that she wouldnt cry after he died, and she herself wanted to celebrate his life, not cry remembering it. Even with her trying her best, a small tear rolled down her check onto the picture at exactly the point where Nicks face was. She laid down on the bed on the side where Nick used to sleep, buried her head deep inside of Nicks pillow, which was surprisingly still smelled like Nick and she slept. She had not slept properly since the last four months or so, but now, she went into deep sleep, where she knew Olivia and Nick would always be together. It was their own place, it was love, it was their destiny.