Thin Ice

Alison Swann

Published: 2012 Categorie(s): Tag(s): "short story"

Right, so, a grand if I make it once round the car park while Im alight? Yes Double for twice Thats not very likely, Liam Last year I was the number one cock in the shop, the breathe and they write it down and try to be me copy writer; smooth threads bowl in the walk, talk in the talk, and now, now Im standing in a car park about to let a stranger throw lighter fluid over me and then set me alight - for kicks, his, not mine. It was all Liams idea. Been a long time, Steve, you in a bit of a sticky? Yup. I took a slug from the pint that Liam had just bought me and sat back on the soft old leather sofa. I like this pub; its an East London classic, cheap and easy, still heavy with tobacco smoke stains and propped up by the sort of men who earn their place at the high wooden bar just by sheer longevity of attendance and only speak to you when the World Cup is on. Im broke. A statistic of the blow them up then pop them at the top financial wave, wasnt my fault, credit card, yeah! Ill pay it off, I did, I was, it was all fine. And then it wasnt. The magic carpet which had flown me up over the city was gone, and my hair, uncut for months, and unshaven face, were just a tip of the bloody great big iceberg of worry bubbling under my life. But Liam, he was always alright, which is why I was sitting here with him, wondering, hoping, desperately wishing he might have the answer. And that it wouldnt get me arrested. Wed been mates a long time, I met him when I first arrived in London, he saved me from a drag queen called Diana who was trying to sell me drugs in a late night bar in Soho. Leave off Di, hes a newbie, Liam had wrapped his arms around both of us and shoved himself in the small space between us smiling widely. I wanted to tell this interloper that I wasnt really that much of a newbie,

and thanks mate but I have met a bloke in a dress before. But soon Liam was getting a round in, Diana was applying more lippy and I had found my first new friend in London. It was light when we left and Diana and I were propping each other up as we stumbled out into the rubbish and puke stained Soho streets. Well drop Di off and go and grab some breakfast mate, you up for that? As we turned a corner into Soho square Liam flicked open a shiny silver sports car, Diana collapsed onto the back seat and we drove off. I have no idea what to do, I am going to lose everything, I put my hands over my face and rested my elbows on the beer stained table. Liam smiled, his wide jaw drawing out his grin in a perfect frame to his level white teeth. I relax, letting the cool beer flood out into my body, pushing the alcohol in tributaries under my skin and breathing in a moment of pause. There is a way you can make serious money. Liam looked down as he spoke, fiddling with some papers and licking his lips, ready to roll a tab. I looked at those teeth again. How did they stay so white? Liam had told me a story years ago about his dad being black, and that being why he had such white teeth. Id always dismissed it as his street talk bullshit, but as the afternoon light invaded the pub and curved over his nose, creating a dark shadow on his pale skin, I saw something. Saw how he might have looked with deep dark blue black skin. And it fit. Maybe his mum wasnt lying, after all. What would I have to do? I always assumed Liam made money in dodgy ways; he never seemed to actually have a job but was always cashed up. Its legit mate, you just need to find the right sort of people, Liams tongue was gently skimming the thin line of tacky paper to sink the glue against the opposite end of the paper and encase the tobacco pipe. Special people, special needs. Liam laughed and flicked the paper together as he giggled and then placed the rolled tab on the table. Bruv, stop looking so worried! I knew without asking that when Liam was referring to special needs he wasnt referring to a disability. Least not the sort youd go down the social over.

Its nearly always blokes, who have special needs, and well What? Im not putting anything in my mouth or anywhere else. Nah mate, no need for that Liam ordered another round. It was Saturday afternoon and the pub was quiet. This is the deal, Liam drew his lips together, sucking on an invisible cigarette and smiling, kindly. About five years ago I was out clubbing, stayed out all night and met loads of new people and this bloke kept on asking if he could give me a lift home. I told him, Sorry mate, Im into birds, but he said he just wanted to give me a lift and nothing else. Well I was totally fucked it was six in the morning, so he wore me down. He wasnt a big bloke, so if he got weird I could handle him. Did he try it on? I looked at Liams wide chest and caveman arms and couldnt imagine anyone easily overpowering him. Well I thought Id got away with it as we got to the end of my road and I told him to drop me there. Hed been mumbling about money, but I was so knackered I just wanted to go home, but I didnt want him knowing where I lived, like, you get me. Yeah, yeah, course, I agreed, So he lost his nerve? Nah nah, well spose so, but while I was gathering all my stuff up and getting ready to get out of the car he grabbed one of my boots and wouldnt let go. Shit, I laughed. Did you have to smack him? Nah, it was just a bit odd, he wanted to say something, so I just said look, what ever it is come out with it mate. Liam leant in and licked his lips; his habitual moistening of his quick dark pink mouth was a constant itch to his facial appearance. Liam lowered his voice and leaned into me. The old regulars at the bar

were not happy about this close masculine contact, but Liam didnt care. Boots. Liam jabbed the air with a single slim finger. What? He wanted your boots? I sighed. Nah, he lay on the front seat while I leant over the roof of his car and stood on his face! Youre kidding me. I sat back and looked at my grinning friend Nope, straight up, he just got me to bounce up and down a bit - to be honest I was more worried about one of my neighbours coming past and asking what I was doing than what he was doing. What was he doing? What do you think? Liam laughed and walked off to the bar to leave me to digest the information. So its not about sex? Well . for them it is, but I just dont think about that. Hmm, OK, that sounds doable. Do you think I could do it? Course! Why dont I set you up a punter and see how you go? So, thats why Im here at 4 oclock in the morning in an empty Tesco car park in the middle of Hackney, Liam reckons its safe. And to be honest I was more worried about the group of teenagers hovering under the nearby bridge, their hoods squaring out their young heads in boxy silhouettes. Course its weird, but hes a good punter, Ive done it three times now, but Id like some time off so the hair on my arms can grow back! So he isnt going to touch me? Nah, hes going to have his hands full if you catch my drift. You

ready? As Ill ever be. Copyright Alison Swann 2012

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