My God Betrayed Me

Miss Superna Mam Pre-Reading

Discuss the following with your friend/s.

When you face problems in life, what/ whom do you blame? Why?

A Note on the Author

Miss Superna Mam is a Kashmiri writer. This is one of her early attempts at writing, in which she has proved her artistic skills.

A Note on the Story

Often, when we are in a state of sorrow, we take any one of the following options - we appeal to God to help us or we lose faith in God. The title of the story clearly indicates which option Salim, the main character, takes.

Reading My God Betrayed Me

He watched her suffering in his arms like a fish without water. Two helpless tears welled up in his huge coal black eyes and ran down his cheeks. She was his beautiful wife, Salma. When he first met her, she was a picture of life with shining black hair framing a round, lively face with beautiful hazel eyes. In fact, he could see traces of life in her rosy cheeks, her bouncing hair and her healthy body. But now she lay in his arms like a ragged doll, thin with her ribs and collar bones sticking out. Her eyes had sunk into their sockets and her face was deathly pale. Her body was drenched in sweat and her clothes stuck to her body, accentuating the thinness of her sick body. A mist rose before his eyes and in that mist he could see images of the past. Suddenly his mind was in the past, taking a trip down the memory lane. Tragedy had enveloped him ever since he was born. His grandfather had two son, Abdul Rahim, his uncle and Ajaz Rahim, his father. His father was a heart patient and was mostly confined to bed. His beautiful mother was illiterate and used to manage the affairs of the household, along with his aunt, Abdul Rahims wife.

His aunt was jealous of his mother. She was just the opposite of his mother. She was ugly, overweight and bad tempered. She couldnt stand the lovely, soft spoken fairy that was his mother. His grandfather and uncle had usually managed the family business. They had a chain of cloth shops in Bombay. In the summer of 1976, his grandfather died. Overnight, everything changed. Salim and his parents were moved to the servants quarters. Their old faithful servant, Gul Mohammad wept at their condition. Everything will be all right, Little Master, he told Salim. Allah sees the truth but waits. Salim and his parents were staunch believers of God. His parents prayed five times a day. Finally, a day came, when his uncle threw them out of the house. When Salim found himself on the pavement, he was hardly eleven. His eyes flashed with anger. Where is Allah? he asked his mother. We prayed to Him everyday. And now look at our condition. Tears of frustration and anger came into his eyes. Uncle never prays, he is always making money, but still he is so happy. Hush, child, his mother had said crying herself. You shouldnt talk like that. This is but a test Allah has put us to. She paused. Our hopes rest in you. You have to take care of us. At that moment, the child in Salim had fled beyond reach. He grew up. He was a man, who had to support his parents and himself. He had to carry this burden on his young shoulders, he had to drink this cup of poison. He protested strongly when his mother wanted to wash utensils in nearby houses. But, child, whatll we live on? she asked him. After a few days, he struck friendship with Shyam, a fisherman of about twenty years of age. Soon, he too got into this trade. From morning to evening, he was busy. In the evening, he would sell fish in the city. With great difficulty, he made both ends meet for his family. His mother wept at his condition. My child, look at you, grandson of such a famous man, selling fish. She beat her chest. If only it wasnt for your uncle Ill kill him one day, mother. He said, his black eyes flashing fire. I His mother silenced him. No, love, you shouldnt speak like that. Believe in Allah. Dont have any feeling of revenge in you. What Allah does he does for your good. His father had died the next year. It had affected his mother a great deal. She was like a silent statue. Her face had become impassive.

With the little money he had collected, Salim purchased a small thatched hut with two rooms. It wasnt much, but at least, they had a roof over their heads. Years rolled by And one day when he returned home with Shyam, he found her lying on the cold floor her body rigid, her eyes rolled upwards. He didnt have to be told that she was dead. He broke down and wept Courage, Salim, He turned around, Shyam had laid a hand on his shoulder. Oh Shyam! Whom shall I live for now? He sobbed. Shyam held him until he calmed down. When he lowered his mother in the grave, he knew things would never be the same again. He had lost something very important in his life, there was a void in his heart which couldnt be filled. During the daytime, he was busy fishing. He dreaded coming home to the empty hut. For some days, Shyam stayed with him. But Shyam too had a family and when Salim told him so, he reluctantly went away. One day Salma, daughter of a school teacher, had gone out for a walk by the river. She found herself being drawn irresistibly by this handsome boy who sat staring into space. Something about the way he held himself told her he was terribly unhappy. Suddenly he turned around. She saw that haunted look in his eyes. She wanted to go to him, talk to him, wipe those tears which lurked at the corners of his eyes. Salim too had been stunned to see such a beautiful girl standing beside him. In her eyes, he could see traces of sympathy, which no one could offer him since his mothers death except of course Shyam. Without speaking, they knew some strong bond had been formed between them. After meeting for a few weeks, they realized they were madly in love with each other. She had left everything for him, her father, her mother, her home to marry him. Her parents had been against their marriage. For a year, they were blissfully happy. everyday for his new found happiness. She became pregnant. He thanked Allah

One night, he had woken up to see her drenched in sweat. She had alternatively felt hot and cold throughout the night. In the morning, it was obvious that she was seriously ill. Your wife is suffering from pneumonia, the proud doctor said, who had come to his hut after his begging of him to do that for half an hour. He wrote down the medicines that she had to take. After taking his fees, the doctor left. He paled when he saw how many medicines he had to buy. The doctor said the cost of medicines would amount to about three hundred rupees.

Where on earth he could get a sum like that? He had hardly fifty rupees in his pocket. Salmas parents had cut off with them completely, so there was no question of going to them. In desperation, he went to his uncle. His uncle was going out on business when he ran into the garden. His uncle paused before entering the car. For a moment, he did not recognize Salim. Uncle, please, he said. I know you nurse intense hatred for me, but I need some money. My wife is dying Please!. His uncle smiled cruelly. Salim flinched when he saw the hate in his eyes. You urchin, his uncle said, I wont even give you a penny. You are a weakling like your father. Why dont you earn yourself? I do, he cried. But I am a poor fisherman. I cant afford to earn so much money. He fell on his knees. I beg of you! In the name of Allah, I beg of you to save my wife! His uncle gave him a kick and entered the car. Now Salim could see only misery and failure ahead. He wept. Little Master! He looked up at the familiar sound. It was their old loyal servant. Gul Mohammad. He handed him a hundred rupee note. Its all I have, Little Master. When Ill have more, Ill give it to you. Salims eyes filled with tears. He grasped the loyal servants hands in gratitude and ran out of the garden. He purchased some medicines with money. But complete dosage had to be given. Shyam had gone to his village to see some of his relatives along with his family. Otherwise, he would surely have helped him, he thought. Salim, the painful voice of his wife broke his chain of thoughts. He came to the present with a start. Salim, Im dying. I dont want to. I want to live. I dont want to kill my baby. She wept. Salim held her, not knowing what to say. Suddenly she was seized by a fresh bout of coughing. She vomited blood. Alarm seized Salim. He got up. Im going to call the doctor, he cried. No, she gripped his sleeve. He looked into her eyes. Suddenly her eyes cleared as if she knew what lay ahead. She touched his cheek with her hand, smiled feebly and her head rolled back. Salma he screamed. No darling, you cant do this to me. This was the third loved one he was lowering in the grave. First his father, then mother, then his dear wife, along with their unborn baby still in her womb. Rain was falling. The sky was overcast with clouds and it seemed that the sun would never shine again, at least it would never shine in his life. He walked away from the graveyard, a lonely, tired man of twenty-two but aged prematurely. My God betrayed me, he whispered brokenly into the emptiness and darkness.

Glossary
welled up hazel ragged doll accentuating confined to bed staunch frustration fled impassive void dreaded reluctantly irresistibly haunted blissfully happy obvious paled desperation flinched misery overcast with clouds : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : appeared; filled greenish brown (here) weak and sick highlighting bed-ridden firm; strong anger; discouragement escaped showing no expression or emotion emptiness feared unwillingly unable to resist (here) sad extremely happy clear became pale; lost his colour loss of hope made a sudden movement due to pain or fair suffering filled with clouds; dark

Check Your Reading

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Describe the circumstances in Salims life that changed his life. How did Salim manage to take care of his family? Salim began to question the existence of God when _____________________________. Complete the sentence. Describe the first meeting between Salim and Salma. Why did Salim go to his uncle? Why did Salim say, My God betrayed me? What, according to you, is the main theme of this story?

Reading between the Lines

1. a. b. c. Suddenly his mind was in the past, taking a trip down the memory lane. This means that Salim was thinking of his married life. Salim was walking down a lane called Memory Lane. Salim was thinking of his past.

d. 2. a. b. c. d. 3. a. b. c. d.

Salim was reminded of the days when he used to walk down the lane, all alone. With great difficulty, he made both ends meet for his family. This refers to the fact that Salim could not support his family. Salim was able to support his family, in spite of various hardships. Salim managed to unite his father and his uncle. Salims family led a comfortable life, but Salim had to toil for it. Suddenly her eyes cleared as if she knew what lay ahead. What does this mean? Salma knew she would die in a short while. Salma knew that there was no point in crying. Salma knew she would die in a few days. Salma stopped crying because Salim couldnt bear to see her cry.

Reading beyond the Lines

1. Towards the end of the story, we see Salim saying, My God betrayed me. Do you think he is right? Why?

Writing
Look at the following sentences. They are not in order. Rearrange the sentences in order and use linkers/ cohesive markers wherever necessary. An example is done for you. They made it. They jumped in the car. They headed for the hospital. In the rear-view mirror they could see a wall of water bearing down upon them. From there they clambered onto an office roof - a near impossible task for someone about to give birth. Immediately, Abdul stopped the car. He ordered his wife and children to climb onto its roof. Abdul and his heavily-pregnant wife knew their babys arrival was imminent. After only a few metres, they realised something was terribly wrong. The tidal waves engulfed the town. They watched as buildings all around them were washed away. As the tidal waves engulfed the town, they watched as buildings all around them were washed away.

Against all odds, the family survived. Abdul and his wife have called their son Tsunami Blessing. as but so immediately and