LUNDUYAN 2012 Essay

No looking down!

Way back in his elementary years, he was just a loner who only wanted to live by himself. So introvert was he that he cried when someone tried to approach him. One time, some boys loomed over him. He thought they would be friendly but opposed to what he thought, they bullied him. Fortunately, there were his girl classmates who comforted him, ensured him it is just fine and that everything would go alright. Since that time, he became more proximate to the female species because they were the ones who treated him with good intentions. This was where he found warmth and comfort. He felt that something was changing inside him; a change which will affect him for the rest of his life. But who is he really?

While busy doing his report in a language subject, he accidentally looked to the boy at the back of him. A minute had passed but still, he could not get off his eyes from that boy. He finds him cute even though he has a dark complexion. He was his friend for almost two years but why did he look at his friend differently? Then suddenly, his heart pounded so hard. Whats wrong with him? He was very confused why his heartbeat was palpitating. He thinks he was abnormal. Days had passes and he followed his guy friend wherever he goes. He just wanted to follow him because a portion of concern is gripping him like he doesnt want his friend to be engaged in a trouble or an accident. Images of his friend ravaged his mind like there was no

ending. Still, he became more confused. He always asked himself what was wrong with him. And an answer struck him. He is in love with his friend.

One day, he talked to his friend because he was sleepless for every night God has created. At first, the conversation was eerie because he doesnt know where to start or what to say. Until his tongue slipped and said the unexpected word. I love you! When he looked at his friends eyes, he saw shocked and something he did not like: a haze of fire. Next was the startling reaction he had ever felt in his life. He sensed a warm fluid flowing from his lips. Why? He just wanted to be loved and cared by the person he liked the most. But why did everything turn into a nightmare? A slash of pain gripped his heart and a strip of tears fell down from his eyes. He looked up to the sky and yelled to God for his unlucky fortunes. Everyone was getting away from him.

Til four years had passed since then, he finished his high school. He still didnt know who the true him was. The only thing he knew that time was that he was a soft-hearted boy who could not say who he really was. He was afraid to hear the soul shouting inside him; the soul who wanted to escape but eventually got frightened once he remembered the nightmares of his past holding him very tightly. He was anxious to be judged without letting him explain what he really was, to be beaten up without letting him defend himself, and most of all, to be looked down because the world does not accept someone like him. A spirit of a woman caged in the body of a man, longing to be freed and be accepted. Everyone thinks he is abnormal, some

psychotic who has problems in his attitude just because he wants to be the opposite sex. Why could they not accept the fact that he was born this way?

*** Im beautiful in my way Coz God makes no mistakes Im on the right track, baby I was born this way

***

He knew that he was created that way because God has a purpose why He gave him that challenge. It is really difficult for him to admit that he needed to experience some hardships before he will be embraced by the people around him especially the people who are most loved and close to him. He needed something to prove first before the people could see him more than ever, his parents. He studied hard and avoided anything with happiness that sticks to it because he wanted to gain the things he could be very proud of before giving away and shouting out the blazing reality. He needed something to back him up: dignity and honor. After so many hardships and heartaches, he still here standing on top of every person who mistreated him.

*** Dont hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and youre set Im on the right track, baby I was born this way

***

Yes, he has nothing to regret since this is the true him. No one can ever hide the fact that he is living as a boy but thinking and feeling as a girl. He just needs to love himself first so that he will gain self-reliance and strength. Once he got it, he would be brave enough to face the world and the harsh veracities of life. He will break out even to the worst part and even if many discriminate him.

But he will stand up and say, Hey! No looking down. This is me, you know? And God made me this way coz Im unique, with power and self-confidence, but nevertheless, with humility. The tragedies of his life taught him how to be strong and also taught him that, one day, the world will learn to accept him. No hard feelings because everyone is created equally and exceptionally. God gave us the challenge and he just need to find the right track so that in the end, everyone is there, not looking down but happily looking up to what he had reached.

For those people who can relate themselves to him, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Why are we going to be frightened to show who are we if He made us this way? The best thing

is, we must be proud that we are created uniquely. We must awake now, break out from our cocoons, spread our wings and fly high. We are the first people we need to hold on to each other, who will understand each other and who will support each others dreams. Maybe, others have wrong impression of us but from the efforts we made to open their eyes, there is still the gigantic chance that they will somehow begin to show their concerns especially their love.

Prove something to the world and show them that you are also a shepherd of God

wanting to find a person who will shower with you with love and care. No looking down on the lesbians, gays, bisexuals and trans-genders of this society.