Texting and Relationships: Are You Keeping Him Interested or Driving Him Away?

The art of texting in dating and relationships is a skill on which most of us could improve. In the age of constant contact via social media and especially texting, there are some Dating with Dignity guidelines to successfully navigate this world within your relationships. When it comes to texting and relationships, theres a fine line between keeping him interested and driving him away. So are you guilty of over-texting your guy? Here are a few ways to find out: 1. If your text is longer than the length of your thumb, its TOO LONG. Texting is a great medium for communication, especially when it comes to things like wishing someone good luck on an interview or confirming a meeting place. It can also be great in a relationship to send a quick note letting your guy know youre thinking about him (provided you arent only going into date number two). But if youre dating a new guy or in a relationship and your text is so long it has to be divided into three paragraphs, it's definitely too long. Also, its very easy to misinterpret texts since you arent communicating directly. When the nuances of voice, tone and body language are missing, the little gremlin voice inside often assumes the worst and interprets every message based on the filter of your past experiences. If youre trying to engage in a conversation or express frustration, anger or disappointment, dont hit Send! Instead, save it for a real, live conversation. It will probably go better; and most importantly, you wont have to wait for a response (or, even worse, give him ample time to write a message designed to manipulate rather than communicate). 2. Do you text him daily to check in? Or are you expecting him to text every day?

Copyright 2012 Dating with Dignity | All rights reserved.

If you are, then youre definitely guilty of over-texting and unrealistic expectations. Texting him daily to say hi without giving him the chance to think of you is likely to send him packing. If youre the one constantly texting him first, even if its just say hello or check in, youre setting the framework for your relationship. And the framework youre creating is one where he just sits back and lets you do all the work. If you want to have that type of relationship, then be our guest. However, if youre looking for a balanced relationship with a quality man who is relationship-ready, make sure he puts in the effort to court you. 3. Patience is a virtue; impatience is not. If you find yourself anxiously waiting for your guy to write you back, obsessively looking at your phone, and missing out on the NOW moments of your real life, if may indicate that youre making dating your whole life rather than a part of it. If you feel like hes taking too long (whatever that means to you) and you often send multiple question marks instead of giving your guy some time to reply (Maybe hes in the shower!), youre pushing too hard. Give him some time. And if youre with friends, at work, or at the gym, its not mandatory to respond within 30 seconds. As long as youre not playing games, being actively engaged in your life ultimately creates a bit of mystery. Even five minutes can go a long way! Texting is great; just keep yourself in check so instead of driving your man away, you keep him interested.

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy AssessmentThe D-Factorwhich helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not "date-able" and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.

Copyright 2012 Dating with Dignity | All rights reserved.