At The Trevi

Prince AP

God, I’m so irritable. I can’t eat, can’t sleep and I’m beginning to think it’s going to be
the death of me. As I lay here listening to the ticks of a clock, I realize that I have a
digital clock. But I can hear ticks noticeably getting louder. “God and this is my state of
mind,” I cried to myself. I look at my tickless digital clock; it reads 11:59 pm. And my
heart starts to race and my thoughts begin to flow toward Jason.

Sigh…Jason, my one in a million love for life. Out of all the other boyfriends I’ve had,
he’s just what I need. They all pale in comparison to the feeling that man gives me. It’s
like a jones that forms in my bones and takes over my soul at a mere glance from his
hazel eyes. God, I swear on our first date I was rendered speechless by the emotional
chemistry that flowed between us. We just connected. But, now my Jason is off on the
modeling circuit in Europe. And I congratulate him I really honestly do but I don’t know
how anybody else could do it. These past four months have been HELL. I miss him!!! I
miss his touch, his luscious lips that drive me insane. His embrace that, while soft to the
touch, makes me feels that no harm can ever come to me. I even miss those things that he
does that drive me to the brink of MADNESS. Like when he continuously taps his fingers
on the table during breakfast while catching the early news. Or how he always feels the
need to have his window rolled down in the car at all times no matter the season. I swear
it’s been driving me crazy ever since he stepped foot on that plane. I’ve felt so empty
inside to where I’ve…I’ve been this zombie that goes on lifelessly with their daily
routine. But, soon that will change because in two more days my Jason was coming back
to me.

The clock struck midnight…

“Two days, that’s 2880 minutes, that’s 172,800 seconds or 172,800,000 milliseconds until
he’ll be here,” I sighed laying in the cold empty confines of my bedroom.

I heard the rhythmic vibrations of my phone ringing. “Hello,” I answered. There was
silence on the other end so I repeated myself a little louder this time. “HELLO!”

“God, I miss that voice,” Jason sighed.

“Hey baby,” I replied trying to maintain my composure.

“How’s my sleeping beauty?”

“Miserable.”

“I’m sorry baby; I promise that I will never be gone this long…EVER.”

“Okay, so where are you now?”

“We are now at the final destination of the circuit. Rome and babe it’s so beautiful I wish
you could be here to see the view.”

“Jason, if I were there we wouldn’t be checking out the scenery,” I chuckled.

“Mmm, well if that’s the case maybe you should take off a couple of weeks, so when I
get into town we can have all the time in the world,” he countered. God, I love it when he
talks like that, he makes my heart accelerate every time.

“Well, that would be one hell of an anniversary gift.” I smiled remembering that was the
day he would be coming back.

There was a long silent pause…

“OH MY GOD, JASON” I said angrily “How could you forget it’s been…”

“Three years, I know,” Jason said meekly. “I promise to make it up to you.”

Sigh…Hearing him talk like that just melts my heart every time and I haven’t seen that
sweet angelic face or kissed those lustrous lips. I was dying to feel my love’s embrace.
And fighting was getting us nowhere.
“It’s okay at least you’ll be here on that day,” I said optimistically.

“About that, the circuit got pushed back two more weeks and I’ll be gone longer than
expected,” he moaned.

At that moment it felt like someone smashed my heart with a meat tenderizer and
simultaneously the air was ripped from my lungs. I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt like it
was just hit head on by a Mac truck and I was now gasping silently for air. This was
followed quickly by tremors and quakes that started in the balls of my feet and grew up
my spine and spread throughout the rest of my body and finally reached the depths of my
soul.

“Darren…baby…please just listen to me?” he pleaded. I gritted my teeth. I was too

scared to open my mouth at the expense of letting out my true pain and letting him know
what this was truly doing to me.

“Darren…babe…look, just promise me you won’t leave me…” he sobbed. “I don’t think
I could make it if you weren’t with me…know that I fought to try to get back to see you
but my hands were…” I hung up; my heart couldn’t bear anymore of this pain.

It grew cold as I sat on my bed. The confines of darkness started to swirl around the
vicinity of my bedroom and rapidly swallowed me whole. This is all I had left after four
months of not having my love’s embrace, kiss, and intimacy. It left a void in me that
longed to be filled as if I was going through a stage of withdrawal.

That night darkness took hold of me as I sat with my knees to my chest, rocking, awaiting
my love’s return. Without him near I was nothing, I felt so empty and my heart was
aching. He called again that night, 15 times to be exact. I couldn’t answer, I was too
scared of revealing my pain to him, for being gone, knowing he would never forgive
himself. After all, I made him go. I told I could be the strong one, that four months wasn’t
too long. He left voicemail after voicemail, he was aching too and I felt terrible. I wanted
to reach out to him and at least hug him. But, there was too much distance between us.

I got another phone call from Jake, my twin brother. I didn’t answer that one either afraid
that I’d unravel all the feelings from the dark recesses of my heart. He left a voicemail, “I
know you’re home and screening calls, bitch. I’m on my way over and don’t try to lock
the door because you gave me a key, remember,” he said.

Jake what a lovely brother, he’s always there for me and keeps it real. You don’t find too
many people like that now a day. So we stick together like brothers, not holding back
about how we feel. There was soon a knock on the door and to let me know that it was
Jake he used his signature knock (it sounded like the beat to “I’m Good” by Blaque) and
let himself into the loft.
“Oh, honey if you don’t look like the dead,” he said walking into the bedroom where I
was hiding myself. “You know his hands are really tied up in this contract.” he added
embracing me in a hug as he started rubbing my back.

At that point my defenses started to crumble and tears formed and the waterworks began
flowing. Jake sat right next to me and wrapped me up in his arms and rocked me back
and forth repeating, “It’s ok, and it’s not that long.” I clung to him tightly as I felt more of
my defenses breaking down in my brother’s arms. When I finally calmed down a little bit
he said, “Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling?”

“He doesn’t even know what he’s doing to me,” I sniffled “He forgot our three year
anniversary and to top it off he won’t be back for another two weeks”

“I know, I’m sorry Darren but you gotta know he tried to get back here to see you,” Jake
said hugging me.

“Yeah, I know but I just feel like I can’t make it any longer. I feel like I’m beginning to
miss more than him, you know?”

“No, I don’t know completely but I get the gist of what you mean,” he smiled. “Now
come on.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I stated.

“Pfft, baby boy please. We’re going out tonight whether you like it or not because you
simply aren’t gonna waste a good Saturday night alone wallowing in agony,” he said
calmly.

“And if I refuse?” I glared.

“It’s nice to see you really think you have an opinion in the matter but I will have you out
of this house willingly or kicking and screaming.” He stared back. “It’s your call.”

“Fine, you win,” I groaned feeling too exhausted to try and upstage my ‘reflection’.

So we went out, nothing amazing but it did take my mind off the recent events that
happened. He took me to a club and not just any club but a gay club and my brother is
completely straight. While we were there I ran into my ex-boyfriend who was there
showing off his latest conquest like some prized side of meat. We talked for a bit but him
being with his…whatever he was making me think of how I wished Jason was there. Jake
noticed this and we left for the evening, I demanded that he take me home once we left
but instead he took me to his house. He said he wasn’t going to let me go back home
since I felt so alone.

The next day I awoke to Jake’s bubbly face in the kitchen cooking breakfast. I always
wondered how we could be identical twins but be so opposite, as he was such a morning
person and let’s just say that morning and me, UGH. But, I had to figure out why he was
so bubbly today.

“Morning, little brother,” he smiled.

“Only by two minutes,” I replied. “What’s got you so excited this morning?”

“This,” he yelled and handed me an envelope addressed to me.

I looked at him awkwardly and proceeded to open the envelope. Inside were a plane
ticket and a letter from Jason.

Dear Darren,

When you get this you’re probably thinking I’m a big asshole. But, guess what? I’m
your asshole and I love you baby. Even though, I couldn’t come home at the time expected I
got you a plane ticket to come stay with me for the last two weeks of this god forsaken
circuit. I know, I know you hate surprises but I couldn’t resist. Besides, it was you brother’s
idea anyway. (don’t tell him I said that) Oh and also pack some nice clothes because there’s
a fashion show you’re gonna be attending. I love you with all my heart.

Jason
P.S. I never forgot!

I closed the envelope and I felt a sudden burst of energy. I was going to Rome to see my
boyfriend…OHMYGOD!!! I had a huge grin on my face and looked at my brother, who
was beaming at me. I can’t believe they both did that to me.

“You little bitch,” I laughed and ran over and tackled my brother, knocking him down on
the kitchen floor. “You know I hate surprises.”

“Yeah, I know but the look on your face was priceless,” he chuckled imitating the face I
made as I was reading the letter.

“Well, thanks anyway,” I said hugging him.

“Yeah, don’t get all mushy, besides your flight leaves today. You might want to pack
some clothes,” he said.

“OHMYGOD!!! Really today,” I shouted. “Well come on, we don’t have time to just sit
here and chat, you gotta take me home.”

This plane ride is unbearable. I can barely stay seated; I’m too excited to see my love.
I’ve been trying to sleep for the past 20 minutes but my eyes won’t stay shut. I was too
anxious to feel my love’s embrace, taste my love’s lips. My thoughts began to dwell on
that more and more and they soon brought me to slumber.

The plane finally landed…

He’s here, I can feel him. I can’t wait to see him again. Four months is too long. Never
again will I agree to such a thing. I stepped out of the plane and there he was, my Jason.
Our eyes locked immediately and it seemed like time stopped completely on its axis. As
we slowly gravitated to each other like magnets lost in polarization. My heart started
beating gleefully as I saw his face and his lips slowly turned up into a smile.

We didn’t even speak at first, we just looked at each other and our lips mashed together in
a breathtaking kiss. At once I felt all the love for this being fill me as we lip locked in
front of all these people. I loved him more than words could express and right now, just
standing here with him feeling his lips again, lets me know I could spend forever with
this man.

“Hey babe,” he said breathlessly. I slapped him gently across the face.

“You know I hate surprises,” I laughed and kissed him again.

“Well, I guess that was deserved,” he smiled and put his arm around my shoulder and
walked me out to the cab that was waiting for us.

As we got inside the cab, I laid my head against his chest listening to my lover’s
heartbeat. Refreshing my memory with the rhythm it plays for me. My love’s beat was a
signature tune that seemed almost written for me as it was a lullaby that sent me head
over heels in love with him. I turned my head to look at him and smelled his neck, taking
in his scent again. It was euphoric, sending me to a level I haven’t been to in what
seemed like ages. He looked down at me with his striking brown eyes and chuckled
lightly at me inhaling him. But he soon returned the gesture and took a whiff of my
essence and smiled and groaned and lined his lips up to mine as we kissed the rest of the
cab ride.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I’ve been practically dying without you here in my arms,” he
said leaning in for another kiss.

“That feeling is mutual, trust me,” I smiled.

As we left the cab, I took in my first sights of this beautiful city of Rome. It was
breathtaking; the scenery looked as if I were seeing it in a rustic painting. I was in true
awe of being in such a beautiful place. The hotel itself was extravagant as it was all lit up,
heavenly in the brisk Italian sky.

Jason lightly lifted my chin, as I was in such awe. He snickered and said, “Darren, babe I
told you it was beautiful but you should definitely close your mouth. Flies might get in.”
I chuckled back realizing my true state of wonder to my surroundings.

As we reached the hotel room, the mood changed completely as soon as the door latched
itself tight. Our eyes connected and the temperature in the room began to stir. Time was
moving slowly as we both actually came to the realization that we were in each other’s
grasp, a simple arm’s length away from each other after four long miserable months. We
finally had… privacy.

“Here you are,” he said seductively eyeing me up and down.

“And there you are,” I replied letting him take in as much of me as possible.

“God, I missed you,” he said wrapping me in his arms and mashing his lips to mine.

“Never again am I gonna let you leave for long periods of time,” I replied kissing him.

“Promise?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” I whispered.

That evening we stayed indoors in the comfort of each other’s arms. One long night of
ecstasy with both our bodies pressed to one another. Our body heat radiating throughout
the room as our lips made contact over every surface of skin imaginable. It felt almost
like my first time, everything seemed so brand new and fresh. We explored each other,
becoming reacquainted with the other after such a gap in quality time. And as we
finished, we laid there in each other’s arms. Kissing each other, caressing one another
until we both drifted off to sleep.

The next morning we lay in bed together. And talked about the day’s possible activities
and responsibilities, as Jason was still at work. He told me that tonight was the big night
for the fashion show and he had gotten me a good seat. I told him I would definitely be
there to see him work the runway. But, until then, I would lounge around the hotel and
check out what sights there were to see.

The fashion show was amazing as I went solely to support my love. He definitely had a
knack for modeling as he commanded the runway every time he stepped out. He looked
so gorgeous on that stage, that’s not to say he wasn’t stunningly beautiful already but
onstage he has this god-like aura around him that just seemed to attract me even more
fully to him. Afterward, he had one of the security guards come and bring me back stage
to where he was changing.

“So what did you think?” he asked.

“Oh my god, babe you were amazing,” I shouted as I ran into his arms.

“I’m glad you like it as I was showing off a little for you.”
I blushed a bit and he kissed me and said, “I want to show you this place called Fontana
di Trevi.”

“Sure let’s go,” I said.

On the way to this Fontana I noticed a change in Jason and I couldn’t put a finger on what
it was exactly. He seemed excited one minute and almost nervous the next. Maybe it was
just me, but my Jason was definitely acting strange.

“There it is,” he pointed. “Fontana di Trevi or Trevi Fountain.”

It was beautiful; a definite must see structure in Rome. The fountain was incredible; it
seemed almost unrealistic to me that this was once built by man in the distant past. The
sculptures around the fountain were breathtaking and majestic, as I stood some yards
away taking it all in. I turned my head to reply to my love’s statement, but he wasn’t
there. I looked around to see Jason with his hand clutching something in his pocket and
he was muttering uncontrollably to himself. He caught me noticing this and regained his
composure instantly.

“Are you ok babe?” I asked as he walked over to me, his hand still in his pocket.

“I will be as soon as I get this off my chest,” he said nervously. He kept eye contact with
me and took a deep breath and proceeded to speak.

“Babe, you know it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know I love you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied wondering where this was going.

“And you know it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that I need you?”

“Of course,” I responded.

“Darren do you know what your love does to me?” he asked.

I started to speak. And he shushed me. “You keep me on my feet happily excited, by your
cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence. Babe you woo me, you court me, you
tease me, you please me. You school me; give me some things to think about. You ignite
me, you invite me, you co-write me, you love me, you like me. And that just leaves me in
awe. You love me flaws and all. You know I love everything about you. Baby it's been so
many years since we first fell in love. We’ve got something special baby, we can cry
together, we can grow together, be ourselves together. And these past four months I can
honestly say that everyone else out here is an angel in disguise compared to the way I feel
about you. And I want you to know that no matter what I’m doing, I would much rather
be kissing you.”
He then proceeded to take his hand out of his pocket and slowly he bent down on one
knee and said, “Darren, baby, I love you, I need you and I want to spend the rest of my
life and every waking moment with you. Will you marry me?”

In his hand was a small box and inside was a beautiful ring. It was a platinum band with
diamond facets in a circular design around a square ruby gemstone. I was in shock!

I now had tears streaming down my cheeks. Those were some of the most beautiful
words anybody has ever said to me. And his question, marriage, that’s a big step but I
wouldn’t be willing to take that step with anybody else but him. I love him! He’s
everything to me. He’s my father, he’s my soldier, he protects me, he’s saved me,
he’s my best friend, he wants to be my husband, he is my doctor, counselor,
provider, professor.

I swallowed hard and muttered weakly, “YES!”