Starts With F And Ends With UCK By Hanchen Wang

Cast of Characters John: Woman 1: Woman 2: Woman 3:

Scene On a road somewhere, in a cold place, but not in any specific location Time Sometime at night, but again, not in any specific time

ACT I Scene 1 John is lying in the middle of the stage, curled up towards the audience, asleep. He is covered by a large jacket of some sort. He has a bag with 3 separable compartments. In the main compartment, there is the "doll", a bread roll and a marker. In a smaller compartment, are the cranes, and an apple. In the last compartment are the ties, are empty bottles (of alcohol). 3 women pace in a circle around John, giving him just enough space to stretch his arms, but close enough to be imposing. They are graceful and gentle in their movement, but it is clear that their movements hide a hint of malice. John wakes up grouchily, possibly hungover. As he sits up, he sees the women circling him and is taken aback. JOHN Who are you? Are you SINISTER?! WOMEN (Like mothers comforting a child) Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... JOHN Because I think you are sinister. (Thinks for a while) ARE YOU EVIL? WOMEN Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... JOHN Because I think you are evil. (Waits for a response, but gets none) Fine. Two, wait no (counts the women), four, can play this game. (Loudly and deliberately) SHHHHHHHHHHHH. WOMEN (They laugh/cackle softly in response) Hehehehehehehehehe...... JOHN Stop that! CREEPY! And will you stop that pacing about. Youre like annoying pigeons. (Opens the large compartment of his bag and empties it on his jacket. He picks up the bread roll) Is this what you want?

(CONTINUED)

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2.

WOMEN (Stops, turns towards him, and stares) JOHN (Thinks he has figured the women out and starts to break the bread) WOMEN (Raises their hands slowly and ominously, pointing to the doll) JOHN (Recognizes the doll and picks it up) WOMAN 1 (Childishly, in a high pitched voice) Youre nice! You play with us and not with the boys and you arent mean and you dont have messy hair and you dont smell and you... WOMAN 2 (Cuts in, motherly, but worried) You know we love you, youre our son! But we cant buy that toy for you, and besides, you wont play with it. We know you wont! WOMAN 3 (In a boyish voice) How do you know that? You bought me that firetruck that you said you knew I liked. I never play with that! WOMAN 2 That was special. It was for your birthday. See, thats how much mommy and daddy love you. Thats why we know whats best for you. WOMAN 3 I dont need you to tell me what to do. Ill just go and make my own toys! WOMAN 1 Wow! You made your own toy? Thats so cool WOMAN 2 Son, I know you like playing with the toys you made. But you should stop. Look, see all these other toys we bought you? Like your firetruck collection? WOMAN 3 I dont want firetrucks!

(CONTINUED)

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3.

WOMAN 2 Fine. Well do it the hard way. If you dont want firetrucks, then you also dont want dessert. For a month! And no allowance. And youre grounded. WOMAN 3 You cant do that! WOMAN 2 Oh yea? Dont bet on that young man. WOMAN 3 (Holding imaginary doll, talking to it) Im putting you away for now. But Ill see you again someday! Pinky promise. (Finds a spot and "hides" the doll away) WOMAN 2 Good, Im glad you came to your senses and put your silly toy away. Thats maturity. WOMAN 3 Yes mommy. WOMAN 2 And your daddy and I think that now that you are more mature, its time to increase your allowance... (Gets softer and starts walking in a circle again, joined by the other women. This time, the circle around John has gotten just a little tighter then when they first started.) Gabriel Faure - In Paradisum starts playing, very softly, barely audible JOHN (Looks at doll) This shouldnt be here. I put it away a long time ago. WOMAN 1 Why? JOHN I had to put away a part of who I am. WOMAN 2 Why? JOHN So that I could pretend to be someone I wasnt.

(CONTINUED)

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4.

WOMAN 3 Why? JOHN I had to! WOMAN 2 Why? JOHN There was no other choice. WOMAN 1 Why? JOHN (Starts tearing the doll apart and fights to be heard above the women) Because I learned to I hate who I really was. WOMEN (Freezes in place) Why? JOHN (Calms down) Because my parents only loved the firetruck boy... WOMEN (Looks at the torn up remnants of the doll and cackle to themselves, softly, and resumes their pacing) Hehehehehehehehehehe... Music fades out with the cackling. JOHN (Lost in thought) (Suddenly, drunkenly) I want an apple. (Reaches into the second compartment, pulls something out halfway and looks at it without pulling it out, reaches in again and pulls out an apple. He sets his bag to his side.) My apple. Nothing else. WOMEN (Notices what he just did and giggles, barely suppressing actual laughter) Hehehehehehehehehehehe... (One by one they reach the bag and stop, so that they are gathered over it. One (CONTINUED)

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5.

of them reaches in. They all watch her pull out the paper cranes. They look at each other and giggle again.) JOHN (Eating apple and looking at it intently, ignoring the women) You know whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? WOMAN 1 (Takes a white crane, holds it in front of herself in her palms and restarts her circular pacing. As she walks past John, she strokes his face, tenderly, with her free hand) Losing your friends WOMAN 2 (Same as Woman 1, she rejoins the circle) Losing your family WOMAN 3 (Sets down pink crane, then same as women 1 and 2.) Losing your dignity WOMEN (They should now be walking in a pretty tight circle around John) JOHN (Deliberately ignores them, in fact overcompensating) Finding no worms in your apple. Theyre a great source of protein. Somethings you just gotta learn. WOMEN (Stops pacing) WOMAN 2 (Addressing John, as if he was in a crowd) Why should animals suffer so that we humans can have a source of proteins? Its time for the cruelty to end! WOMAN 1 (Takes pink crane and places it in Johns lap and sits next to him)

(CONTINUED)

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6.

WOMAN 2 These paper cranes we have folded together, bring them aroud with you as a symbol of our solidarity against the mindless slaughter and unethical treatment of any living creature! WOMAN 3 (Typical high school bully. Crushes the crane she has in her hand.) Ooooooo. Look whos all high and mighty and refuses to eat meat. WOMAN 1 Cut it out! How does my dietary choice affect you? WOMAN 3 (Imitates) "Cut it out! How does my dietary choice affect you?" Yea, you sounding all wimpy and all. That affects me. WOMAN 1 Well thats clearly your problem isnt it? Find your own way to deal with it. WOMAN 3 Well, me and my friends, we dont care too much when boys get all chicken and start eating seeds and grass. WOMAN 1 Quit it! Whats your problem? WOMAN 3 You and your straw chewing ways whats my problem. WOMAN 1 Oh yea? What you gonna do about it? WOMAN 3 Beat you up like the fat old duck you are, thats what. (Grabs Woman 1s crane, throws it violently offstage, then signals off stage) Dinners ready boys. Come get at the fat old duck. Quack quack! Hahahahaha. WOMAN 1 (Huddled up. Looks at an imaginary crane this time) I folded this pink one with my own hands, didnt I? WOMAN 2 (Comfortingly and reassuringly) Yes, yes you did.

(CONTINUED)

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7.

WOMAN 1 (Ponders it for a while) Even though I was beaten up for the last one I folder, wasnt it? WOMAN 3 (Smugly.) Yea, you so totally were. WOMAN 1 (Hides an imaginary crane in another corner and speaks, resolutely) Well, then Ill bury this with my own hands. (Goes back to pacing around the circle and the other women join her) May I never again see it in daylight... Samuel Barber - Agnus Dei plays softly JOHN (Softly, completing the sentence) ...And may I never again let myself be harm on account of who I am. (Pauses and thinks) This doesnt quite count as daylight does it? WOMEN (Amused by this... so an amused laugh) Hehehehehehehehe... JOHN You know... WOMAN 1 Yes? JOHN This crane is a fairly complex work of art WOMAN 2 Yes. JOHN Yet in the right hands... WOMAN 3 Yes? JOHN (Unfolds the paper crane) It becomes a perfectly plain piece of paper, pure and pluri-potent.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: WOMAN 2 (Sagely) Yes. JOHN

8.

I can fold it. (Folds it in half). Draw on it. (Searches around, picks up the marker and draws in two sad eyebrow like slants) Play with it. (Pokes in two holes and widens them enough so that they can be seen through, so the folded paper becomes like a mask) WOMAN 3 Yes. JOHN (Holds the paper mask up to his face) This piece of paper is how I present myself to the world. Thats what Ive chosen to become. (Lets the piece of paper fall and clutches his face) WOMEN (Delighted at this revelation, starts with controlled sniggers, then breaks into actual laughter) Hehehehehe...Hahahahahaha... Music changes, cross fades to NGE - Komm Susser Todd. JOHN (With desperation) Who are you! Are you SINISTER? WOMEN (With motherly tenderness, and each take their turn to go up to him to gently touch him, tightening the circle around him.) Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... JOHN Because youve taken my life and made me empty it out. (Takes his bag, unzips every compartment and shakes it, so the ties and the bottles fall out) Is this what you want? (With anger) ARE YOU EVIL? WOMEN (With affection, and each take their turn to gently peck him on the forehead and pick up a tie, then go behind him) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... JOHN

9.

Because youve taken these shattered shards of my self and strewn them before me. WOMAN 1 (As a peppy colleague. Holds up her tie) That shirt-tie combo is wonderful. Its so you! JOHN I dont want you to know who I am. I dont want me to know who I am. WOMAN 2 (As some superficial acquaintance) Just relax. Be yourself. Youll do just fine. People will love you for who you are. JOHN (Tears the paper mask up throws the paper bits into the air) Love ME? ME? THIS? WHAT IS THERE TO LOVE? WOMAN 1 (As the mother) Son, maybe you should take a little time off work. Maybe go out and meet some friends, find your soulmate. Its never too early to tie the knot! (Ties a knot on the tie) JOHN Ill never find my soulmate. Ill never find my soulmate. Ill never find my soulmate. Ive never found my soul. WOMAN 2 (As his boss. Ties one end of her tie to the unknotted end of Woman 1s tie) Im sorry, I know youve contributed a lot to this firm, but we have to let you go. Its just that maybe you dont fit well into our corporate culture. Here, as a sign of our gratitude, a parting gift. (Hands him the noose end of the tie.) JOHN (Takes the noose and holds on to it with both hands) All that I was, all that I am, all that I will be, its here. I guess it cant hurt to let myself be me, just this once. (Stands up for the first time and puts the noose around his neck.)

(CONTINUED)

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10.

WOMEN (As the lights fade out and the music comes up, we see them turn around, holding onto the noose with both hands, and pulling.) FADE TO BLACK, FADE OUT MUSIC. MUMFORD AND SONS - THE CAVE BEGINS TO PLAY LIGHTS FADE BACK IN AFTER ABOUT 3 COUNTS In darkness (or as close to it as possible), John leaves the stage. As the light fades back up, we see one woman gathering up the bits and pieces from the floor into the centre (roughly). By the time the song goes "I will hold on hope", the other woman should take the jacket and place it over the collected pile in the centre. Leave opposite ends of the stage and fade out. END.