LONE WOLVES - TRIPLE DATE By Tom Gran & Martin Woolley

FADE IN: EXT. PRISON - EVENING MICH stands nervously in front of the towering prison gates, a bow tie round his neck and a bunch of flowers in one hand. The gates swing open. PHOENIX ARIZONA, a sexy broad in a knotted convict shirt and an eye patch, emerges from within, her heavy boots thudding against the ground as she strolls confidently towards MICH. A heavily armed GUARD walks behind her, stopping at the edge of the prison grounds. GUARD You stay outta trouble now, Phoenix. ARIZONA turns towards him and grabs her crotch. ARIZONA I got your trouble right here! The gates creak shut as she approaches MICH. MICH Hey Arizona! Hi! You look nice! ARIZONA You look like shit on balls. Wheres your bike? MICH Its right over here, Arizona! He gestures to his motorcycle parked nearby. MICH (CONTD) I got us a table at your favourite dive bar, itsVRRRRMMM! ARIZONA takes off on MICHs bike, tearing down the highway. MICH looks on. MICH (CONTD) (whispered) I fuckin love her. EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTD Heavy metal blares from within the bar. A flashing neon sign reads GIRLS! STEAKS! BEER! HAMMOND stands outside dressed in a black waistcoat, complete with a carnation in the lapel, a box of chocolates under his arm.

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ARIZONA cruises in on MICHs bike. She hops off near HAM, leaving the still-running bike to plow straight into a barflys pickup truck. HAMMOND Arizona, its wonderful to see you again! She approaches the door. HAMMOND (CONTD) Lemme get that for you. He reaches to open the door for her -- she gets there first, slamming it hard into his face. He staggers back, bumping into the owner of the smashed pickup. PICKUP GUY Your bike trashed my truck! HAMMOND That aint myWHAM! The man socks him square in the jaw. HAM snaps -- he charges at the barfly, ramming him face-first into the remains of his truck. The man disengages his head from the trucks door and dives at HAM. INT. DIVE BAR - CONTD ARIZONA crosses the room. Huge men in wife-beaters and dirty denim swill bottles of beer as they leer at a couple of sorry looking strippers. ARIZONA snatches a beer from one of them as she passes, downs it and slaps it into the hand of a weedy patron. The owner of the beer turns, looking for the culprit and plows a fist into the unsuspecting drunks face. ARIZONA flops down in a booth opposite BOSTON -- she frowns taking in the baby-blue velour tux that hes opted to wear. BOSTON Hey Arizona! You look great! How was your vacation! ARIZONA I was in the pen you dumbass. BOSTON Oo-la-la! Is that near France? ARIZONA snaps her fingers -- a waitress arrives. ARIZONA Two steaks. Rare, like a good man. Am I right?

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She laughs. The waitress giggles. ARIZONA stops dead and fixes the waitress with a steely glare. The waitress backs away. The door swings open -- HAMMOND enters, shirt ripped, face bloodied. He approaches the booth and catches sight of BOSTON. They exchange a stern stare. ARIZONA (CONTD) Whats the matter chief, aint you been on a double date before? HAM pulls a knife out of his side and drops it on the table. HAMMOND Normally that means two chicksARIZONA Thats why I invited you. Sit down. HAM sighs and slides into the booth next to BOSTON. BOSTON smirks. HAM turns to him. HAMMOND You look like Liberaces jizz sock. The waitress returns with two huge, bloody steaks and deposits them on the table. ARIZONA grabs BOSTONs plate and flips his steak on top of hers. She picks up the double-stacked steak and proceeds to devour it like a sandwich. HAMMOND (CONTD) What a woman. The door opens again and MICH trudges in, tracking mud and missing one of his shoes. He pulls a snake out of his hair and tosses it aside -- it flies through the air and hits a stripper in the face. He approaches the booth, sour-faced. MICH Which of you nutsacks totaled my bike? I did. MICH beams. ARIZONA

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MICH Awesome job! High five! He raises a hand. ARIZONA ignores it, picking her teeth with the knife that was recently removed from HAMs guts. She chucks the knife and pulls herself up. ARIZONA Im gonna go take a piss. She heads out the front door. The Wolves watch her leave. MICH So are you guys gonna fuck off now? I dont like performin with an audience. HAMMOND Me fuck off? Weve had this date planned for weeks. You clowns better back off if you wanna keep your teeth. BOSTON Hey, if anyone should fuck off its you guys. You know how much it cost to rent this sweet tux? MICH Oh yeah, that was money well spent. That suits almost as shit as Hams mullet. HAMMOND Hey, at least we arent dumb enough to get our rides jacked up. MICH Pft, as if shed wanna take your lame-ass rides. BOSTON pulls himself up. BOSTON You know what guys? Im just gonna go ask her! Im gonna straighten this whole thing out. He heads for the door. EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTD ARIZONA crosses the road to a liquor store, pulls on a balaclava and draws a pistol. She disappears into the store, BOSTON exits the bar and rounds the corner.

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Stopping in a private spot, BOSTON makes a crude puppet with his fist and thumb, produces a lipstick from his pocket and applies it generously to its mouth. He raises his hand to his face, pressing the lipstick against his cheeks to leave several unconvincing kiss marks. BOSTON He he he. This oughta show emTAP TAP TAP. BOSTON stops. As he slowly turns to look behind him, he realises that hes inadvertently positioned himself directly in front of the window by the Wolves booth. MICH and HAM look blankly at him through the glass. BOSTON drops the lipstick, runs to his car and tears off down the road. INT. DIVE BAR - CONTD MICH and HAM watch BOSTONs car vanish over the horizon. MICH What a moron. HAMMOND Yeah, the things some fools will do for a dame. WHAM! ARIZONA kicks the door open, a bag of money and a gun in her hands. Sirens blare from outside the bar. She runs over to the booth. ARIZONA Hey, Mich, baby, will you hold this for me? She tosses the gun into his lap. MICH Sure! Sure I will! HAMMOND What, nothin for me? Here! ARIZONA

She chucks him a bloody baseball bat -- a severed hand still clinging on to it. HAM grins. She runs out the back door. They watch her go, smiling. MICH Man, Bostons gonna be so jealous.

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The front door slams open again. A horde of police men storm the bar. COP Freeze! Drop the weapon! WHAM! The police bear down on the Wolves, pinning the Wolves to the floor. They cling to ARIZONAs gifts. HAMMOND Yeah what a sucker. ZZZZZTT! A cop jams a tazer into HAMs back. FADE OUT.