Loving her wasnt in the plan

First of all, I spent almost 4 days just to figure out how to start this letter Im making for you. Truth is, I have a lot of things I want to say to you. But every time I attempt on doing so, I go on full retard and start to say stupid things. I start to get boring and blank. And whenever its time for you to go, every single word I want to say flows back and I just regret not saying it to you. You might be thinking na torpe ako but.. I guess thats just your effect on me. Sometimes I wonder when and who fell first. Me or you? I always look back and think how the mom and dad petnames started. Because truthfully.. When I entered the rp, it was planned. And it was all because of hyung. Now before you start getting mad, let me explain first. The incident that happened between you, hyung the others, I already knew before entering the rp. The plan was to make you happy. Hyung asked me to try and reach out to you since he felt bad about what happened. You were more than how he described the person I was supposed to cheer up. Shes somehow a little cold at times. Seductive and playful, but most of all nice. Youll like her a lot. Shes someone who youd look forward on talking to. Shell be sweet when she wants to and shell act cute when you ignore her. And always remember that she loves ice cream. Now whatever you do, just dont hurt her. Never. Hurt her. Make her smile. Make her happy if you can. Thats what I was told to do. And like a puppy, I approached you introducing myself as a fanboy (which is true. 8D)

That was when..

Chanhee met his bias.

She was.. Nice, as what hyung said. Friendly and a little weird. He wasnt wrong when he said she liked ice cream. Seductive at times but I liked it. Never thought this bias of mine would be my little happy place. She was the person whod comfort me with food whenever Im down. Besides having that seductive exterior, she was this simple girl who would be there for you when you need someone. I found her weirdness cute that I actually smile whenever she acts like that. Especially when I ignore her. She would do these cute things like tug my sleeve or block my way. She would even hug me even if we were just starting to know each other. I bet youre wondering why I remember this stuff.

Who would expect that I grew a little crush on you? I honestly didnt. I thought this feeling was just natural, and the reason why I kept on talking to you was to check if Im doing my objectives right.. Turns out the feeling that I was shrugging off would build up and talking to you was what I really wanted. I felt this warmth that I couldnt explain. Funny how things turned out between us. We started talking OOC and it really made me happy. It made me feel comfortable opening up to someone I havent met before. Shes really natural. Talking to her was like talking to a friend I havent seen in a long time because there was no awkwardness. Thats my thought as the days passed and our daily routine of talking to each other continued.

Am I falling?.... For real?!

Dude. Seriously? Thats what my friends would say whenever I open about the topic of possibly liking you. I was so unsure and confused if we were talking in OOC or not. And at sometimes I would act awkward because theres this feeling that kept on bugging me whenever I talk to you. Youre falling for someone you havent even seen before. Yup. Thats what t hey would say if I joke around with the mere fact that Im starting to grow feelings for you. Without seeing what you look like. Just the natural way that you are, I found you beautiful. And everyday I spent with I get captivated. No Im not overreacting. I really liked you. Even before seeing you. The way she is, is just beautiful. I dont really care what she looks like. Its her personality I like not her face. I defend my statement with all honesty. And you know what? I was right~ She was beautiful. She looked like a girl who guys would go desperate just to get her attention. Yes, I find you that beautiful. Too bad Im not really that kind of guy. /shot/ XD

Seeing what you really looked like added up to the many reason of me liking you.

She likes me. Thats nice- Wait! She what?! OAO

Surprised/shocked/Wtf seriously?! doesnt describe even half of what I felt when I found out you liked me back. I didnt even think that was possible since I started thinking you were someone who wouldnt easily fall for just anybody. And I thought of myself as just anybody. I just acted like how I usually am in front of you but the thought of you having interest in me was always replaying in my mind.

I really thought the way you treated me was a bestfriend kind of thing. I never imagined you would like me. Remember when I stayed up late just to wait for you when you were going to manila? It wasnt for the sake of you going. I wanted to be the last one you talk here before you go. And I thought youd take long and I would miss you- Okay moving on. XD That morning you told me something after asking me if I was getting sick of you. You said I always make you fall for me. That rang in my head like an annoying alarm clock. It wont stop. Although I really dont know how Im doing that. OTL Hey Im pretty sure this isnt the first letter youve received but I thought it was about time I let you know I really feel. Since Im not very good at words.. Ill let these pictures speak for me~

Yes I smile like an idiot whenever I see your face. I look at it for a while and tell myself.. That girl right there.. I like her a lot. Whats more awesome? She likes me too.

I havent given a sincere compliment to someone in a long time. Maybe its because I changed my way of looking at people. I dont just base on what they look like anymore. But you.. Youre beautiful. And I can keep on repeating it until you believe me. Youre really beautiful.

As cheesy as it sounds, you do cross my mind a lot. I would ask myself if baby ant already ate or is she tired. When you grew closer to me, I started being concerned for you. Now when I has a little accident and I found out you worries for me a lot.. I was really touched. Sure a lot of people checked up on me if I was alright and sent me get well soon messages, but coming from you felt more special. I didnt want to make you worry so I was really planning on not telling you but hyung got to you first. OTL It is fair that you know but I dont want you to get stressed out because of me. Remember when I said I found inspiration after getting hit on the head? I was making this on my phone. I was starting from scratch and thought a lot about what Ill say to you. When I said dont get to curious and it wasnt for you, I lied. 8D Sorry if you believed that~

/coughsocheesycough/ XD We have much to know about each other. You can always open up to me~~ If theres anything bothering you or making you sad, Id be more than happy to listen. Ill always be here for you if you need someone to talk to. And know that I only make you sleep ear ly because I dont want you staying up~ Im not shooing you. Its all out of concern and love. o u o

That pretty much says it all. I still feel that this letter is still missing something. Im not sure if this is everything that I feel right now.

But to sum it all up what I really wanted to say is

Sorry if this doesnt make much sense.. I tried the best I can to express myself and this is all I could really do. I was thinking of making a cover of out of my league but I didnt want you to lose your sense of hearing. XD Youre going to manila again, right?? Pasalubong!! Joke lang. e u e So.. Yeah. This is the product of 4 days of thinking. I suck. I know. OTL Sorry if I cant be sweet like the others. 130525. Can Sandeul make Hwe Ji his? 8D

To: Hyunana/Hweji/Baby ant/Mom/Mitzi From: Chanhee/Sandeul/Caveman dad/Nikko