20 July 2011

The Bell

Call the Exterminator (or not)

Last letter I promised Id tell you another story about bugs. One summer when we were in college Patrick lived in an apartment complex in Chapel Hill called Glen Lennox. His room had a bug problem. There were roaches. But not huge roaches, tiny baby roaches, and they would crawl up the wall behind you as you talked with him. Why dont you call the exterminator? I suggested but what I really was trying to do was boss him into calling the exterminator. (I was very bossy back then.) Why would I do that? Patrick countered. He grinned knowing I had tried to be the boss of him. Because you have roaches, P. Oh, but they arent doing harm. You just have to show em a little lovingkindness, G. This was the beginning of many disagreements about whether or not you should live with rodents and critters. Patrick always took the stance of lovingkindness Zen master. I always took the stance of evil dictator Bossy Mcbossypants. (Like most of our epic arguments, Patrick eventually won this one. I dont kill bugs anymore.)

20 JULY 2011

The Practice
I finished The War of Art like I told you I would. I felt a hundred thousand silver stairs rain down on me as I finished it. Something about finishing a book on resistance that youd resisted finishing. Theres magic in that. Theres also magic in that book. Steven Pressfield talks at length in the last few chapters about the unseen powers that guide you from creation to published work. I was amazed as I read how much of my own creative process paralleled his. I dont pray before I sit down to write, but I usually burn sage and light a few candles. Also, as you know, lately Ive been talking with fairies.

Every day I go Into the Ungnome.

Whats the Ungnome? Its groundless, on-thespot, brokenhearted present-moment engagement. Woo! Lets just call it the Ungnome, mmk.

Heres how the Ungnome works.

I straightup abandoned my Life List about two years ago. Life Lists are very popular - mine was What it makes me wonder is why I spent so the post that got the most traffic on my site - ever. much time resisting talking with fairies. More These lists are also called Bucket Lists. A list of truthfully, I spent a lot of time resisting talking publicly about talking with fairies. Now that its all things to do before you die. out there on the table, I feel closer to fearless with I dont have a Life List anymore. I have done my writing. So far, none of you have sent letters telling me you think Im batshit crazy. In fact, one everything I wanted to do before I die (since I of you even sent a book about fairies! (Thank you, thought Id die this year). I do have other lists. Qualities Im wanting to S. Im 80something pages in.) develop, patterns Im working to bear witness to and tendencies I work with. Im looking hard at my worldview, elements of which present // themselves to me daily. Im working with this particular batch of karma I have this time around. But the Life List is long gone. I found it kept me In 2010 I told my then-Executive Coach I was from really working with whats alive in the sure I would die this birthday (upon us in three moment. days). I told her I hadnt planned my life past this birthday, the last birthday my mom celebrated. My Now, the Life List has been folded into the Life List ended this month. practice. What will I do now, now that Im still alive and in good health? Well, Ill tell you what Im doing, The practice is it. since youve come with me this far.

20 JULY 2011

Secret Message from the Fairy Laboratory

Its so sunny in Seattle today. I need to get out there, but I wanted to send you a secret message before I head out. This year has been a real wild one so far. It has asked more questions of me than any year has to date. I remember January, but just barely. I remember there was a time when I lived in Boulder, but now that Ive been gone three months, it feels very far away. Thats bittersweet at times. As the changes have unfolded Ive been looking for patterns, for signals and signs. The word that keeps arising is presence. If we can stay present in intense sadness and total joy, isnt that the thing? The most direct way to that presence Ive found is in the practice. Right now my practice is in working with my own resistance (am I ready to publish daily again? Do I want to open comments? Am I ready to share publicly again?), and in communicating from the heart (practicing nonviolent communication - rereading What We Say Matters again. For the third time).

Thank you for being alongside me for the journey. Its been an honor to be able to share with you the past six months. To as many more as were given, Gwen