And In the End There was just me.

Sitting in my art studio alone, reminiscing on the school year I have just concluded, I thought about what it was like to experience this year with my new goals, and what accomplishments I had made with my students. I realized that I was the Triple A this year! I was an art teacher, an artist and an action researcher. Even though these three roles are individually titled, they all were similar in some ways. All three of these titles/positions require learning and growth. Reflecting on being a researcher made me come to the conclusion that action research was really not what I thought it would be. The reason why I like art because I can be the master manipulator of my own creative world. When life gets overwhelming and life slams me with surprises it is hard to feel like I have control, and I hate that. My ulcers are proof of that. When making art, I have complete control over the things I do and the things I create. With action research I learned I have no control of my end, or my journey to the end. I may choose where I start but working with my students, they were the ones that veered me to where I should go. My students were the ones that pushed me in different directions. They were like the master manipulator artists who pushed me (the paintbrush) around the classroom (the canvas). This journey has taken me to places I didnt think I needed to go, places I was scared to go and places I didnt even remember existed. And, it was awesome! Letting go of control, and going where your students feel you should go is an inspiring and adventurous trip. Trying to be the Master Manipulator of my life, my art and my teaching prevented me from learning what I should be learning. Teaching art for the past six years, I thought I was still new and stretching as a teacher. In ways I was, but I also was getting complacent and a little blind to the things in my classroom. By doing action research I was pushed into the spotlight with my students, and all dark areas were shoved out into the light. My action research was an experience and a journey that would awaken different parts of me as a teacher, and also reminded me of the essentials I should have in my classroom. It was a great feeling to do this research because I had previously thought as a teacher I was my students supporter, but now I see that my students are my supporters as well. Our relationship is cyclical, not linear. I push them, they push me. My students had shown me that a large part of being an art teacher should be spent on opening students minds to believe that they can learn art, and that art ability is not something you either have or do not. I needed to take the time to challenge the idea of talent in my class, and to show my students that they are capable of learning and creating art. As a class we had to conquer the illusion that art is made easily and magically, and to break apart the art process and explore the mastery of skills. I also learned it was important to understand students mindsets, and to push them to see that they could grow. By acknowledging mindsets, I found that I could better help my students and support them in the ways that they needed. I learned what type of advice and activities would help them grow. Looking back at my goal to increase confidence in my students by cultivating a growth mindset in the studio proved to be a very difficult task. I wonder, did I do enough? How much did the things I did affect my students? Did I really even accomplish my goal? Yes. I really feel like I did. And, though the end looks different then I had imagined, I still learned. I still grew. And, Im better for it. Things That Took Me by Surprise Along this research journey there were many surprises, and there were moments were I felt my research was much larger then I had imagined. One of the issues that came up for me was the lack of arts in schools, and how I felt it could affect mindsets in my students. I also faced some challenges with the types of responses I got

from my students, which I call Robot Responses. This is when my students automatically responded with answers that were not thought out, or just mimicking what they felt was the best answer. I call these moments surprises instead of challenges, because when doing action research these surprises are more moments of awareness then obstacles to overcome. You become more aware of these surprises and you alter your responses or your research. You realize that outside issues occur and that its more complex than you thought. Either way surprises are a natural thing for researchers, and often they helped me learn the most. Inexperience with the Arts in Schools: Does this Influence Mindset? Mindsets are not going to change over night; it takes work to alter the way you think and to truly believe in it. It would be great to tackle mindsets when students are young, especially when concerning the arts. I see my students for less then an hour a day, and only for one semester. Unfortunately, most have never had an art class previous to seeing me in 6th grade. Art does come in different forms in a persons life, and I am sure my students have much experience with arts in their lives, but art in school is different. Art in school is where learning through process is more stressed, and a place where collaborative work is done either by working on projects together or giving feedback to one another. Art in school is when art has a dedicated time, and a more structured place to push and develop skills. I wondered if students who had art in schools had more confidence, and if they saw art as something learnable. On the other hand, for students who did not have art in school, did they feel less confident? Did they struggle more to see art as something anyone could learn? I wish I had probed more into these questions. I felt more discouraged during this semester with how much the arts have been pulled out of school. So many of my students had reported that my class was the first art they had had in school, and I was very affected by this since I felt the arts were so important. Art class has become a luxury in most schools, or an added frill for schools to say Hey we value art, we kept it in our school while others got rid of it, only to have it for 30 minutes once a month, instead of being a concrete solid subject for students to learn and experience on a daily basis. I really wonder what it would have been like if students had art every day for every grade, and also had homework the same way they do for math, reading and writing. What difference might it make in the lives of students who fear art and have anxiety, stress, apprehension and doubt concerning the arts? Would the idea of art talent exist as strongly as it does? I truly feel they would not have had any of these things, if they had art exist in their lives equally as much as other subjects in school. What I can do is make sure I as an art teacher remember that the arts do not exist as much for some students versus others, thus creating feelings like the above (stress, intimidation, frustration, etc.). Lack of arts has an impact and effect on how students behave and think in my art class (if they are lucky enough to be in an art class), thus my teaching should include not just the arts and giving artistic experiences, but figuring out ways to eliminate those negative feelings and thoughts from the list. I can inform students about mindsets, explain and show how artists are created, and help my students to see they are capable of creating art. By doing so maybe my students can move on from my class feeling like artistic skill isnt this gift some have and others dont, and that they are capable of creating whatever their heart desires. Move Beyond the Robot Responses: Saying is not necessarily believing Another issue that came up during my research was what I call Robot Responses. Robot Responses are when students reiterate quotes and sayings that have been drilled into them. This is like when you tell your kid to sit down and play the piano and the kids grumbles and refuses. You say, Why do we practice? and they Robot Response back because practice makes perfect. Whether they believe it or not, whether they feel it inside, they know that is what you want to hear. They know that that response, those four words will keep you from giving them a five minute lecture on the value of practice! Well, this Robot Response issue happened in my class. When it came to growth mindset statements and explanations my students would Robot Response popular sayings and quotes. I also noticed that my fixed mindset students would Robot Response as an easy way to answer without me bothering them. Some Robot Responses I heard many times were:

Practice makes perfect You can be anything, if you put your mind to it You can do anything if you set your mind to it Mistakes are learning experiences All these popular sayings were drilled into many students either by parents, coaches and/or teachers (including myself). These types of responses are challenges for researchers, and for teachers. Students understood what I was trying to do with the idea of growth mindsets, but instead of wanting to hear what I had to say they would recite these sayings either out loud to me or actually just put them in their reflective responses. It wasnt that they didnt care, or were being mean. It was just drilled into them that those were the right answers. It was like an automatic response. It was a challenge have students dig deeper to help them understand their own mindset, understand the messages they tell themselves about their work, and explicitly work with them to develop new language that felt like it was their own. It was these Robot Responses which made me realize how many times in their lives my students hear growth mindset statements, and how challenging it is to help students actually believe these statements. These are things adults say to kids to make sure they grow up believing in themselves, and thinking they are capable of being anything they want to be when they grow up. Well, all this stuff affected my data and it took me a while to find ways to go beyond the Robot Response with some students. For example Example #1: The Dont Bother Me Mistake During the In Art There is Process: You Learn and Make Mistakes stage, when my students were knee deep and fully into project mode when making art I liked to bother them. Well, I didnt see it as me bothering them, but I think they did. When a student would be working on their project, I liked to ask them questions to get insight on what they were thinking. One time I saw multiple drafts on Tristans desk. I asked Tristan, Can you explain all these drafts? They look amazing in how each picture is transforming. Tristan was drawing another draft, and offered this Robot Response, Learn from mistakes. That was all he said, and it was monotone and un-humanlike like a robot. I was happy in a Whoa, that is a great answer, but now I feel weird way. The comment was an unnatural way of answering that type of question. It clearly showed he was repeating what I had said earlier in class about making mistakes. And, I totally could tell I was bothering him. I know I did this a lot in my research. I thought you have to ask questions when students are working to get insight on their thought process when making art, but really most times I was interrupting their creative process. There was a time and place, and my excitement was bothering my students. Oops. I loved that they were so focused, but I should not have asked questions and ruined their flow. Next time I will find other times to ask students about their work, and talk through work samples together. I may even take pictures of students during the process, and follow up later in class by asking them to describe what they were thinking or feeling or learning when this moment happened (and show them the picture). Showing slides and talking with the student would be great, and I have seen how much student love seeing themselves work. Example #2: Exit Slip Mistakes I would pass out exit slips that asked What did you learn today? and the students would Robot Respond with answers like I learned practice makes perfect, I learned that I can do anything if I set my mind to it, and Art is effort. Though I love these wonderful growth mindset responses, I questioned whether or not they were truly my students beliefs. I cant blame them. They did give me the right answers. But, they would rush to fill out the exit slips then race to their next class. Sometimes exit slips do not work well, especially when

students are feeling rushed to go to their next classes, or if the slip is preventing them from going to break on time. I learned that exit slips should have an allotted time. They work better if you say something like We will take a full 5 minutes to fill this out. If you are done please sit quietly. This time is for us to respond and to reflect. This would have prevented students from rushing out the door and not thinking fully about their responses, or Robot Responding in order to go out to break earlier. Case Studies were not in the Original Plan, but Plans Evolve I was really glad that I focused on case studies for the semester, though this was not my original plan. I had originally planned on working with the whole class, and collecting data from every student. But, I found that my questions would require lengthier discussions with students, and time was a major issue during the school year. By interviewing my case study students and asking them to give examples, support their claims, and to push their explanations these Robot Responses never came up. The case studies gave me great insight into how my students felt and experienced things. And, I always got to go deeper and deeper with my questions. Case studies for me were the absolute best way to go because of the flow of questions and information, and the richness of the comments. Farewell I see my role as a teacher much differently now. I do not just teach kids how to make art, but I help my students see themselves as capable individuals and artists. My role is to show them what it takes to be good at things, and to build confidence in my students. I help my students see that growth mindsets are a way of believing that learning is for life, and that mistakes are a natural process of improving. With my research I learned that if you look around your classroom, and look at your students with more then just teacher eyes you will find there are many more things to learn about. Taking all that I have learned, I wonder what will be in store for me next school year. I know that I will continue to open the eyes of my students, and help them see how they are capable of amazing things. What will you hope for?