June 2013

COSTAMBAR SUFFERING POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER!

Lots of pretty new electrical posts everywhere! Now the community is anxiously looking forward to getting wired!

Yennys Market Catamaran Beach Bar Biekes Bar Happy Hippo El Carey Syls Place Harley y Rock Costambar Community Center & Library Supermercado Tropical Big Lees Beach Bar Restaurant Chino Johns Beach Bar The Meeting Place Puerto Plata Beach Resort Ocean World Marina Los Tres Cocos

What To Do This Month Useful Telephone Numbers Classified Ads Cable Channel Listing Definitely Not the News The Rainy Day Page And Lots Of Other Fun Stuff!!

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Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try something different. Fine dining at its best! Call 809-993-4503 for details. At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach youll find great food at great prices enjoyed with a million dollar view! Every day they have Power Hour with 3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. NOW A WIFI ZONE!!! They also hold a monthly Flea Market on the last Saturday of every month beginning at 10am. No cost to vendors! Restaurant Chino has the best Chinese food on the North Coast! Eat in or take out. Two locations - on the Malecon in Puerto Plata and calle Principal in Cabarete. This month they will be open Tuesday April 2nd & 9th. The Meeting Place is on summer hours now. Check their website for news on any happenings. Big Lees Beach Bar on the Malecon has great fantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish & Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches. Every Tuesday, Thursday AND Saturday enjoy a cuba/santo libre for only RD$50 or Jose Cuervo for only RD$100. Great food served all day until 8pm! Help Big Lee celebrate his birthday on June 8 with Karaoke starting at 8pm! Biekes Bar - the first bar in & the last bar out of Costambar! Drop by Saturdays for Costambars Best Burger! Check out the blackboards for brunch and evening food specials during the week! The Happy Hippo & Pedros Kitchen offer great food & great fun! Start your morning with Hills new smoothies, fresh juices & yoghurts! Pedro has a special menu every day! Eat in or take out! Puerto Plata Beach Club is the new hangout for expats & upper class locals! Theres a bar, spa, cafeteria, Italian Pizza & Pasta to go, a minimarket & liquor store. Plans for this year include a casino, movie theatre, piano bar, live music & more!

Syls Place always has a great food & fun! Mondays - dinner & a movie! Tuesdays - darts! Wednesday - closed. Thursday - Quiz! Check the board for other daily dinner specials! All their great food can be delivered for free in Costambar! They also have satellite radio with some great oldies stations! Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Restaurant - where you can enjoy the beach your way!! You can enjoy great food & drinks inside, in their garden or under parasols on the beach. They have Dominican food, burgers, pizza & more. The house specialty is garlic shrimp and you should try Kevins Mama Juana and pia coladas! Theyve got lots happening! They now offer 2 hours of Happy Hour from 6-8pm with 2X1 cuba/santo libres! And every Sunday at 2pm is Karaoke with party maker Segundo! Try their new empanadas! Or treat yourself to Garlic Lobster tails with a glass of wine for only RD$700! They would love to host your next event. Harley y Rock offers real Italian pizza & pastas with the best prices on the North Coast! Get a medium pepperoni pizza for only RD$225! Or shrimp spaghetti for only RD$250! Johns Beach Bar is newly opened and waiting to show you a great time! Its the place for great food, great fun and great friends! And Johns Snack Shack will tempt you with their tasty offerings including beer battered fish & chips! Daily & weekly food specials and special events!
OPEN FROM 12 NOON CLOSED SUNDAYS SATURDAYS BIEKE BURGERS!! CHECK OUR BOARD FOR FOOD SPECIALS!

costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca

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Feel the Breeze - Feel Freeand Safe

Puerto Plata Beach Club

Come Be Part of a New Community for Foreign Residents!

JOIN US FOR A WEEK, A MONTH OR A YEAR STARTING AT AN INCREDIBLY LOW US$10 PER DAY!!

TS A P X E OR F lata E P C o A t L r P Pue THE ! n i e r n o o M c e and Mal e a h i r T On fete a C pa Bar - S

809-586-4243 www.puertoplatabeachclub.com Email ppbeachclub@gmail.com Twitter: @ppbeachclub Facebook: Ptoplabeachclub Apartments

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On the Malecon, Puerto Plata Open by 9am

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "It just worked on me," he replied.

Half RD$200 - Full RD$300

FISH & CHIPS -

HAMBURGERS AND FRIES 1/4 lb. RD$150, 1/2 lb. RD$250

RD$70

HOT DOGS:

-- SANDWICHES: RD$50-130

SERVING GREAT FOOD ALL DAY UNTIL 8PM

Every Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday
CUBA/SANTA LIBRES RD$50
Made with Brugal Anejo or Blanco

JOSE CUERV0 RD$100

Two old guys talking. One said to the other: "My 85th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" First guy: "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

809-848-9009

TUESDAYS Darts! WEDNESDAYS Closed THURSDAYS Quiz!

CHECK OUR BOARD FOR DAILY SPECIALS! FREE DELIVERY IN COSTAMBAR!

Restaurant Chino
Best Chinese Food On the North Coast! Two Great Locations! Eat In or Takeout!
Xiang Wan Jia Plaza Neptuno, Malecon, Puerto Plata 809-261-5609 Calle Principal, Cabarete 809-571-0385

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STAR SIGHTING?

INTERNATIONAL GOURMET CUISINE & AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES

One of the bottom two pictures is a very familiar face around Costambar. Can you decide which is the Costambarian and which is the TV star? Or are they one and the same? Doppleganger? Celeb look-a-like? Or the real thing? Whisky or Walt? You decide!

COME FOR THE GREAT FOOD AT GREAT PRICES AND THE MILLION DOLLAR VIEW!

MEDIUM PEPPERONI PIZZA Calle Reyna Isabel #1 RD$225!!! Costambar Puerto Plata, Rep. Dom. SHRIMP ON THE BEACH! SPAGHETTI 809-855-2627 RD$250!!

NOW A WIFI ZONE!!!!!

EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF THE MONTH Starting at 10am FREE TO VENDORS!

REAL ITALIAN PIZZA AND PASTAS WITH THE BEST PRICES ON THE NORTH COAST!!
Open 11am-3pm and 6pm-12am Closed Monday

FLEA MARKET!!!

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WELCOME TO KEVIN & PATRICIAS EL CAREY Where you can enjoy the beach your way!

2 HAPPY HOURs EVERY DAY 6-8pm!

2X1 Cuba/Santo Libres

EVERY SUNDAY 2pm!

KARAOKE with party maker Segundo

GARLIC LOBSTER TAILS WITH GLASS OF WINE ONLY RD$700

Try Kevins Mama Juana & Pina Coladas!

Also available for parties, weddings, etc.
Calle Reina Isabel, Costambar, Puerto Plata Spanish 809-918-1448 English 809-924-8233 CLOSED MONDAYS

JOIN US FOR COVERAGE OF THE FRENCH OPEN AND WIMBLEDON!!

Racquetball, handball, wallyball, pool-billiards, All Day Breakfast Big Screen TV for sports, movies and concerts Fish & Chips * Chicken Curry Full Menu * Daily Specialty Smoking and non-smoking areas

VILLA FOR RENT BY THE WEEK

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SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 9
SUDOKU PUZZLES Fill in the missing numbers so every row, column and quadrant contains the number 1 through 9.

WASHING A CAR
Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid. The remaining letters spell a hidden message

BRUSH BUCKETS CHAMOIS CHROME CLEAN DEAD BUGS DIRT DOOR HANDLES DOORS DRIVEWAY DRY OFF

FENDERS FRONT GARDEN HOSE GLASS GRIME HEADLIGHTS HOOD HUBCAPS LICENSE PLATE MIRRORS MUD

PREPARATION REAR RINSE ROOF SCRUB SIDES SOAP SPONGE SQUEEGEE SUDS TAIL LIGHTS

TIRES TOP TOWELS VEHICLE WASH WATER WAX WHEELS WINDOWS WINDSHIELD

Across 1. Communication 5. Wrack 6. Stir up 7. Wander Down 1. Condiment 2. Frugal 3. Norm 4. Perpetual

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TEL: 809-970-7194
12 22 28 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 40 42 43 44 46 49 CNN FOX ABC NBC CBS TBS CNBC ESPN-1 WGN CDN TNT USA ESPN-2 DISCOVERY DISNEY HBO SPORT BOOMERANG 51 56 57 64 66 70 71 72 74 79 80 81 83 84 85 CINE SPEED ANIMAL PLANET SCI-FI FOOD WEATHER CINEMAX SHOWTIME STARZ NASA JETIX CARTOON TNT LA HISTORY THE FILM ZONE CANAL

69 DISCOVERY KIDS

My Way to Inner-Happiness and Health with the RamiLife - Program RamiLife.com

Police Office Police Car APC Office APC Gate Security Codetel Edenorte - emergency Edenorte - office Costambar Taxi Stand Canada Britain U.S.A. German Italian Clinica Bournigal Clinica Brugal Los Tropicos Pharmacy

809-320-8510 809-320-8840 809-970-7877 809-970-7015 809-220-1111 809-261-1844 809-586-9823 809-970-7318 809-586-5761 809-586-4244 809-586-4204 809-586-6995 809-320-7601 809-586-2342 809-586-2519 809-970-7607

NOW the book for this program is available in 3 languages - English, Spanish and German. This book has been suggested for the next International Book Fair in Frankfurt! The Austrian author Guenter (Harry) Eberl has been living in Puerto Plata for 13 years. The author has dedicated himself since his early childhood in a search for the meaning of life. From the moment the author unconditionally started the search for answers to all of his spiritual questions about himself and the universe, his life became very extraordinary. The RamiLife-Program in connection with the RAM-Meridian massage (REM) enables one to move closer to the inner self and to discover a new quality and love of life. Reading this book you will, among other things, lose the fear of so-called malignant diseases like cancer. You will learn to understand your body better. Dont read this book if you are not prepared to change something in your life.

The author is available every Sunday at 5pm at The Catamaran Restaurant on Costambar Beach to discuss his program and answer any questions. Books are available to purchase. More Info at www.ramilife.com and 809-710-1221

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CHARTS AVAILABLE
Get your nautical charts of the Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands, Providenciales and Hispaniola From Rosa at Luperon Swap Meet Wendys Bar in Luperon Ocean World Marina in Cofresi

If you have difficulty call Colin at 809-449-1819

BEGINNER

INTERMEDIATE

HIDDEN MESSAGE
Bird Droppings

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The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzy Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise report. Two months ago, my husband, Tom had a terrible bike accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children" she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now" she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held their breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

RD$1230 Includes Dental RD$1480 with Drugs

Aquacero, Malecon, Puerto Plata 5pm Biekes Bar, Costambar 6:30pm Or call Petra & Marcel Bahr 1-809-885-2155
Massage: Relax, Reduction, Deep Tissue, Facial Massage, Reflexology, Acupressure, & Hot Stone Physical Therapy, Paraffin Treatment & Lymphatic Drainage Manicure & Pedicure: Regular & Intensive Braids & Hair Extensions & Mens Haircuts Facials, Waxing , Peeling, Hydration & Nurse Services Natural Health & Beauty Products
ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIALS. Open Mon-Sat from 9:00am / Sundays by appointment Service to the home. Transportation available. #14 Penon St, Costambar Tel: 809-970-7522 Cell: 809-993-2944

calle Camino Real #28 2nd Floor Puerto Plata Tel: 809-586-1707 Cell: 809-903-6457
Post Graduate, Biomedical Research S.L., Spain

Full Range of Dental Services Dental Implants * Teeth Whitening * Orthodonitics Preventative & Cosmetic Dental Services
Free Estimates! Reasonable Prices! All Insurances Accepted! English Spoken! Free Parking DJimenez Store! Open Mon-Fri 8am-7pm & Sat 8am-12pm

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SOUND RENTAL

Karaoke Tropical
For Any Event Of Your Choice With Animation in English, Spanish, German and French Lyrics in 7 Languages International Music, Videos and DVDs

809-204-4172 Email dj.marilyne_karaoke_tropical@hotmail.com

OPEN DAILY (INCLUDING HOLIDAYS) Mon-Sat 8am-10pm Sundays 8am-8pm Everything you need from snacks to supper! Delivery Service Available! Calle Principal, Costambar (just inside the gate) 809-970-3028

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
CLEAR FIBERGLASS 7 GALLON PROPANE CYLINDER TANK 24 TALL & 12 DIAMETER

Tanks & valves are brand new Made in the USA Always know how much gas you get or have left! Lightweight & rustproof!
ONLY RD$2500 CALL COLIN AT 809-449-1819

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CMS DEFINITELY NOT THE NEWS!

Because rumour, gossip, hearsay and anecdotes are just sooo much more fun!
Welcome to a new feature were going to test drive! Its basically going to be tidbits about life here on the North Coast. Things that affect us. Things that amuse us. Things that annoy us. None of it is hard core journalism. Its what weve heard, seen and experienced. Feel free to email us at costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca with updates, clarifications, corrections or whatever. And keep in mind - we are not claiming that this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Its just a glimpse of whats happening and sometimes a bit of fun! Dont take it too seriously! COSTAMBAR STILL GETTING TRASHED! Well the new garbage bills came this month! You might be thinking yippee! Something got resolved in record time! Alas our bills are still at least twice as much as other communities are being charged. Before the new bills were delivered a notice was circulated by Fellow Residents of Costambar saying that normal rates should be between RD$200-250 for a house and RD$150-175 for an apartment. CM has confirmed this by having our crack investigative reporter look at the bill of a friend in Puerto Plata. Yep, we go the distance for you people! APC has said they were silently working on our behalf behind the scenes and that people should present themselves at the ayuntamiento office and make a complaint. There are also complaints that some areas are not getting garbage pick up anymore and of course, this being the DR they no longer seem to be on a reliable schedule of days and times! One step forward. CM FAQ Do you really do all your own printing? Yes indeed we do! Well, unless we have equipment failure. Each copy is specially printed just for you! And collated and stapled and folded! This not only helps to keep our advertising rates the lowest around but allows us a certain level of control - something you often feel you dont have when you live in the D.R.! So if your staple wasnt centered or your pages werent quite lined up or your copy was folded a little crooked go easy on us and just think of it as the special little quirks that come with a handmade gift that was lovingly made for each and everyone of you! FEELING POWERLESS? Well you have good reason! We had a really rough month power-wise in May. Partly due to a problem with our lines etc that took a while to fix - and when we say a while we mean days! A lot of backup systems went down! And our regular outtages still happen with no regard to the posted schedule so youd have to be a psychic to predict when you could do laundry or take a hot shower! The Edenorte website calculates that in April we had power supplied only 67% of the time. Mays numbers should be interesting! Our only saving graces this month were Dominican Mothers Day and the Corpus Cristi holiday when power was on almost all day! GOOD TO KNOW This tip stems from experiencing a recent medical issue late at night and having no working transportation. Not really knowing how to get an ambulance and concerned about the wait time we decided to just call Costambar Taxi. We made it clear that we needed to get to the hospital and it was an emergency. Before we could even get out of the house the taxi was there and the driver totally helpful and concerned. He got us to the hospital quickly but safely and was even willing to wait for us if we wanted. Weve had our issues over the years with the local taxis but in this instance they were completely efficient and professional and there wasnt even any squabble over the fare! Kudos where they are due! Keep in mind this tip is anecdotal in nature and you must assess your own situation accordingly. This is just another option.

RUMOUR HAS IT! The current scuttlebutt on the road and building construction behind Yennys Supermercado is that it will be used as a (VIP?) heliport! CM will send out its crack team of investigative reporters to dig further into this and let you all know more in the next issue! Oh, the anticipation.

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VIVERO MAIMON
GREEN THUMB
Landscaping and Gardening Maintenance Services
Palms, Flowering and Foliage Plants BEST PRICES ON THE NORTH COAST!!!
George Roesch 809-543-8041
OPEN Monday to Friday 8am-5pm Saturday 8am-noon

Km 11 Carretera PP-Imbert Just past The Fish Places

A professor of mathematics sent an email to his wife. It read: "Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband" When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

Costambar Monthly page 14 FOR SALE 3 Solar panels 1 x 12 volt 65-80watt Broken/repairable (cracked glass) fully functional, 2 x 6 volt 1 Broken/repairable (cracked glass) fully functional 90 USD the Three. Prototype Solar/Wind charge controller, fully functional, 12/24 volt 100 amp 90 USD 1 Inverter PURE SINEWAVE 24 volt 2000/4000 watt voltage regulator integrated 1 year old 18,000 pesos. 1 electric wing mirror for L200, 1500 pesos. 2 x Ikea silver LED bedside/ office lamps 30 Usd each. Telephone 809 970 32 87 or 809 639 9393.

CLASSIFIEDS
FOR SALE Movie projector system for movie screen size RD$12000. Pfaff sewing machine, heavy duty, needs repair RD$5000. 2 flat screens RD$1000. Printer RD$1000. Keyboard RD$500. DVD players, need repair RD$200each. Amplifier, needs repair RD$200.Radio antennae RD$50. Yagie satellite antennae RD$500. Ziar satellite system RD2000. Raycor oil filters RD$200each.Motorcycle helmets RD$250each. Yamaha Enduro outboard motor, low hours RD$450000. Utility trailer, 2002, snmb wgt 497lbs, low miles RD$20000. Honda Hero 150 motorcycle RD$35000. Call 809-743-75125 or 809-836-8523 FOR SALE 2002 Izuzu Rodeo Sport, V6, Power windows/lock. New Front brakes/rotors/calipers. Good tires and drives great. American owned.Asking RD$245,500 Call 829-397-2772 FOR SALE Myers .5hp water pump, like new, only used 4 months. Asking RD$5000. Call 809-970-7398 FOR SALE Hotpoint full capacity washer. Beige. Works well. RD $6,000. Call 829.259.3413 or Email MacK@ttlc.net432 FOR SALE Yamaha jog black and yellow ids,new tires, new battery, special muffler,top shape asking 18,000 pesos georgioantiglio@yahoo.com FOR SALE Honda ZX 50cc scooter. New condition Driven only in Costambar. Asking RD$22,000. (Negotiable) Call 829-397-2772 FOR SALE Everything must go. Selling baby, child, adult and home items. Items include: crib, queen and twin bed, fridge, oven, washer/drier, home decor, tv, appliances and much more. Please email at lfelizsantos@gmail.com or call 849-860-6988.

LIKE CHECKING OUT THE CLASSIFIEDS FOR GREAT DEALS? OR USING THEM TO GET RID OF YOUR UNWANTED ITEMS? THEN WHY NOT CHECK OUT COSTAMBARS FLEA MARKET AT THE CATAMARAN BAR ON THE BEACH. EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF THE MONTH STARTING AT 10AM! FREE TO VENDORS!!

FOR SALE Costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only be Mitsubishi L200 Pickup, 2001, placed by emailing costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca Diesel, Manual, New Tires, Or calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820 shock absorbers and many PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items. other parts. 7000 USD Commercial properties or enterprises (including real viewable in Costambar. Email: stanley.bobyk@gmail.com Tel: estate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds will usually be run for one month only unless we are otherwise 809 970 3287 Cell 809 639 notified. FOR SALE dinghy caribe 13 feet with latte 800$ both are negotiable US Microwave oven GE, combo convection and grill oven, stainless steel inside and out,rack for grilling and broiling IGLESIA FILIPOS PRESBITERIANA invites you to services every Sunday at 10 A.M. Worships are in 200$ Spanish. Children activities. Before Costambar Gate Boat stereo 30$ Wet suit 30$ Security, turn on the right side toward the power Life jacket 10$ plant, 100 meters on the right side. Snorkels 5$ Dog vest 20$ Fire extinguisher 10$ Costambar Community Power cord 30$ 50 to 30 adapter 100$ Center & Library Fishing poles (3)80$ each Open 9am-5pm Joanne 829-319-0572 or email: Monday-Saturday noiseuxjoanne@hotmail.com FOR SALE Honda CRV 2000 for RD$255,000 Diane & Victor Call 809 261 3795

Located next to the Farmacia

Separate English & foreign language book rooms

Costambar Monthly page 15

LAND FOR SALE

Beautiful lot just a couple of minutes from the Star Market in Puerto Plata. 750 square metres, quiet road, nice neighbourhood. Mountain view and harbour views. Spectacular view of the city lights at night.

HOUSE FOR RENT

Located Cafemba Main street Long term rental 3 bdrm/2 bath Plus office Furnished Inverter power Well water Pool

APARTMENT FOR RENT

3 bedroom 3 bathroom 24 hour electric, water Swimming pool Located in Las Rocas, Cofresi Only long term rentals US$600 per month Call 809-993-4503

Contact dr84@hotmail.com 829-906-7012

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcoholdead . The second worm in cigarette smokedead . Third worm in chocolate syrup dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?" An old woman was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" That pretty much ended the service!

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