Screaming on the Inside

COB Goes on a Diet Page 4 Career Services Gets a New Home Page 7 Got Ink? Tattoo Exhibition Page 8
Sometimes people in the throes of depression feel all alone with no way out. The friends of depressed people often feel a similar helplessness. In response, Student Health Services of MSU-B held a free depression screening on October 6, National Depression Screening Day (NDSD). They were acting in conjunction with the National Mental Health Foundation to raise awareness about depression. NDSD was created 15 years ago as a community-based mental health screening program to call attention to mood and anxiety disorders, educate the public about mental disorders, offer individuals the opportunity to be tested, and to connect those in need of treatment with a mental health care facility. In past years mental illness has been stigmatized as a shameful or embarrassing disease. Many people refuse treatment for fear of being looked down upon by their friends and communities. Thanks to the efforts of many different orGraphic courtesy of http://www.mystudios.com/ ganizations, doctors, and people with

Cheap Costume Ideas Page 13 Mike Takes on D.A.R.E. Page 16 Take Me Out to the Ball Game Page 19

The Scream by artist Edvard Munch.

See Screaming Page 4

Could We Get Out If We Needed To?

The City and University Evacuation and Safety Plans

Hurricanes Katrina and Rita Blizzards and snowstorms cause did unspeakable damage to the Gulf other problems such as power outages Coast in August and September. Upwards of a thousand and travel restrictions. Anyone of the oil refineries or people died in these back-to-back disasters, and the chemical plants in the area could have an accident and question was raised as to why. One of the answers was fill the air with noxious fumes. A train or tractor-trailer that proper disaster and could crash and spill evacuation plans had not hazardous material. This been devised, and the actually occurred plans that were in place downtown some years were not executed ago when a train tanker efficiently. car derailed. There is also A hurricane the possibility of an hitting Billings, Montana outbreak of a deadly virus is a near impossibility, but to consider. Measles, there are other forces of mumps, and chickenpox nature and disasters that are vaccinated against in could be caused by people our present age, and accidentally or by design inoculations for these to consider. The diseases are mandatory in Yellowstone River most places; however, Photo by Melissa DeVries occasionally floods, as cases of Ebola and West An evacuation drill was held this summer at Cisel Hall. does the Big Ditch. Nile virus have been

See Get Out Page 5

Analog Manners in the Digital Age

1500 University Drive SUB 225
Billings, Montana 59101 Business and Newsroom: 406-657-2194 Fax: 406-657-2191 E-mail: retort@msubillings.edu
So there we were: me, a friend and my friends friend, bellied up to the bar self-medicating, solving the problems of the world in our drunken philosophical way, when my phone started blowing up. It was on etiquette mode so it was flashing and vibrating across the bar. I did what I thought was the right thing; I checked who was calling and ignored the call. The friends friend grumbled, Technology is rude. This got me thinking. Even with my phone utilizing the only manners mode it has and although I didnt answer the call I had unwittingly made some breach of etiquette. Im no techie and as such I own precious few gadgets and have given very little consideration to the polite and courteous use of these personal modern devices. I really think that the majority of these blunders are a lack of a clear definition of what is and is not acceptable behavior. We need Miss Manners: The Technology Edition. Im no expert on social graces or technology; however, I went ahead and put together a little list of guidelines that may help navigate some of the common uncertainties associated with technological advances. 1. Do not use your cell phone in an elevator; the space is claustrophobic and NO ONE who is riding wants to hear about how you just know you failed your Psych test or that youre upset that he/she didnt call you last weekend. Trust me. 2. Refrain from talking on your phone while making a purchase. If you talk on the phone while in the midst of a transaction, you are essentially saying that the person helping you is a sort of non-entity, unworthy of your brief attention. I think it is okay to use your phone during a selfcheck out, though or at the Rainbow Bar where the bartenders are really bad-mannered, too. 3. It used to be discourteous to answer your other line while talking on the phone and some people still think it is. Today, the telltale ringbeep lets the caller know that you are ignoring their call. This situation is further complicated by the prevalence of caller ID. I think its better to click over to tell the incoming caller

The Retort Staff

Editor in Chief...............Olivia Koernig Business Manager...........Yacine Zerizef Faculty Advisor.............Nancy Swanson Layout Editor................Dana Livermont Ad Manager...........................Niki Porter Copy Editor...............Amanda Patterson News Editor........................Betsy Harris A & E Editor.................Melissa DeVries Sports Editor..........................Jed Barton Photo Editor................Nicole Livermont Creativity Editor....................Beth Kern Reporter......................Emily Valenzuela Reporter.............................Tess Hatfield Reporter.......................................VACANT Photographer...................Matt Langman Staff Writer..........................Paul Jangula Staff Writer.................Miranda Breding Cartoonist............................Dan Hansen Columnist.........................Mike Schrage
Guideline & Policies The Retort encourages the submission of letters to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length and include name, signature, and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Retort is published twice a month. Letters must be submitted by the Friday after the most recent issue date. The Retort is made possible in part by student fees allocated by ASMSU-Billings. The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opinions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of its members, the university, students, nor student, state, or federal governments.

you will call them back. Of course this isnt always possible; use your discretion. This one is tricky and someone will probably be offended no matter what. 4. Dont use your Ipod while talking to a professor, even if its after class, even if the volume is low, even if you only have one earphone in. They really hate it. 5. Dont surf the internet/check e-mail/import music/access porn while youre on the phone. I promise the person youre talking to will pick up on your distraction. 6. Dont answer your phone during meals, especially in public. The other diners will find this behavior rude and whoever youre eating with will no doubt feel the same way. 7. Hopefully everyone knows this one by now, but turn your phone OFF while youre in class, for obvious reasons. 8. Im not sure what kind of a rule to make here; I just really hate headpieces for cell phones. Theyre sneaky little sons o guns. If you see someone using one its easy to think that they are either talking to themselves or talking to you. More than once Ive responded enthusiastically to a strangers greeting only to realize that they were using one of those detestable little gadgets. I hate those stupid things. 9. This one is kind of old school but worth repeating. Your car audio should never be so loud so that the lyrics are perceptible to passengers in another vehicle. Also, your system should never ever vibrate another cars windows. This becomes a double offense if the lyrics contain profanities or if its rap music. I dont force you to listen to the Grateful Dead and you shouldnt force 50 Cent on me either. Its really not cool. I really wanted to make 10 rules but this is all I came up with. Im sure this list is incomplete and that people will finder further qualifications for these, but its a start. If I ignore you in the halls, Im not trying to be rude. Im just listening to my Ipod.

Club Connection: Phi Alpha Theta History Club

A Look at History Club/Phi Alpha Theta (National History Honor Society) The history club is looking for new members that enjoy looking at history and historical events from an angle other than a textbook, as well as sitting back and enjoying the company of other historians. Purpose: To promote the study of history, to develop leadership in the members, to promote high standards of scholarship, to provide active service and participation in campus events or activities when possible, and to promote the well-being of Montana State University-Billings at all times. Requirement to Join: The History Club encourages all f o r w a r d t o t h e u p c o m i n g students to attend the meetings events. Meetings are held once a and events; there are not any requirements except to be a month to discuss events and fundraisers. They are the only student. Activities and Goals: The club that does fundraising at the Yellowstone ValHistory Club meets ley Brewing Comonce or twice a p a n y. The month in the evefundraisers, nings for a B r a t movie night Nights, are that a history held at the professor Yellowstone hosts. The V a l l e y last movie Brewing hosted was Company to Downfall, help finance a movie that the Phi Alis based on Graphic coutesy of www.unk.edu/student_ Hitler s last org/PAT/PATNeb.html p h a T h e t a days o f Phi Alph Theta is history fun without all the conferences and to cover power; i t reading. miscellaneous club costs. The was hosted by Dr. Benjamin Marschke. The event had a first Brat Night fundraiser great attendance turn out, and for this semester has been tenthe History Club is looking tatively set for the end of Oc-

tober according to the club President Anna Johnson. She further added, The History Club Brat Nights are a blast. People ask all the time when we are going to hold them. It is a great way for MSU-Billings students to get together, mingle with some of the MSUBillings professors, and just kick back and have some early evening fun. Phi Alpha Theta is a National History Honor Society. The annual conferences allow students to present a historical research paper before other history students and the scholarly history community. O ff i c e r s a n d N a m e s : President, Anna Johnson; Vice President, Emily Valenzuela; Archivist, Shane Fairbanks; S e c r e t a r y / Tr e a s u r e r, Jed B a r t o n ; a n d D r. M a t t h e w Redinger, Academic Advisor.

Old Folks Are Cool So Adopt a Resident

Old folks are cool. Believe it or not wisdom does come with age and just hanging out. Imagine how much you can see in a lifetime. Now imagine an audio book that tells you stories of what Pearl Harbor was really like or the low down on the Nazis. Adopt a resident and they can tell you all about it. Maybe you wonder what Hilter was thinking with the hair and mustache combo, was that really in style? Maybe you wonder what prohibition was like. Can you imagine Americans without booze? Thats crazy. They could tell you why Cokea-cola should really be called cocaine-a-cola. So many years and so much your history teacher didnt tell you. Besides the benefits you would receive, you would be befriending a resident. St. Johns Lutheran Ministries is partnering with MSU-Billings Office for Community Involvement to team up students, faculty and staff members with the St. Johns Lutheran Home residents. Guys, chicks dig compassionate guys and chicks, you know you have a soft heart and could stand to help someone else. It will make you feel great to help another person. The Facts 1. Everyone interested will be partnered with a St. Johns resident. Your new best friend is waiting. 2. Interaction entails sending cards, visiting, attending sponsored activities such as bingo and parties, going for walks and so much more. Be creative, if you lived in a retirement home what would you like to do? 3. Commitment issues? Dont worry, there is no minimum when giving. You can spend as much or as little time as youd like. The norm is 2-4 hours a month.

4. Wondering how to get hooked up with a resident? Contact Kathy McIsaac, Director of the Office of Community Involvement at 896-5815 or stop by SUB 222 for info. Get involved, do something nice, lend a helping hand and so on. Volunteer, youll never know if you like it if you dont give it a try!

Photo courtesy of the Office of Community Involvement Students interact with residents at St. Johns Lutheran Home.

$100.00 EMPLOYMENT BONUS

Dear Ms. Koernig, Dana Livermonts piece on Elevator Etiquette should be permanently posted in all three of the L.A. Building elevators. If I might add a seventh guideline: When the elevator doors open, people waiting to get INTO the elevator should step back and wait to allow people who want to get OUT of the elevator to do so. Shoving ones way into a packed elevator while people are still trying to shove their way out just slows down the entire process (and makes it even less pleasant) for everyone. Have a nice day, Ben Marschke Benjamin Marschke, PhD. History Department

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Should COB Students Be Allowed to Eat?

Students that attend classes in the College of Business (also known as McDonald Hall) are complaining about the closing of Beezers Bistro. Students now have to walk over to the Student Union to get something to eat, which is a big inconvenience between classes. On the other hand, SODEXHO claims that it is not worth the amount of money to keep food, staff, and supplies stocked at the College of Business. This is a controversial issue for many reasons. The fact remains that the College of Business is one of the busiest locations for student traffic. Except Fridays, there are over 600 students who attend classes on a daily basis, and nearly five hundred students on Fridays. The administration needs to realize that the College of Business is very disconnected from the rest of the campus, and these students do not have a direct advantage to go from the College of Business to the Student Union Building-it just is not practical, especially during the winter season, claims Amanda Mears, a Business Finance student currently attending classes at the College of Business. Also it is one of the furthest buildings from the Student Union, which is now the closest food source. I feel that it is such a hassle to carry all my needs to McDonald Hall from the dorms. The Bistro was a convenience that I know it was a time saver for most of the stu-

dents that utilized it. The only issue that deterred me from 100% use is the inability to use Flex cash there for my purchases, commented Dion Little, a Management and Marketing student currently attending the College of Business. Many of the dorm residents have suggested that they accept the flex money off the dorm meal plans. In doing this, they would bring in more business for the bistro. It is more suitable and healthier to buy food with my meal plan money between classes than order pizzas after all my classes are done, exclaims Jennifer, a resident and Business student who lives in the dorms. Presently, the compromise to this problem is to create vending machines with some food so that the students are able to have a food source in the building during the day. Eventually, many of the students at the College of Business would like the Beezers Bistro to reopen and also accept the Flex dollars similar to the Student Union and Photo by Nicole Livermont Beezers Express. someone surviving depression and although it hasnt been an easy ride, shes still here to talk about it and shes not ashamed to either. While there are many things you can do to fight depression, the first steps are to talk about it and evaluate the need for professional help. If you want to talk to someone, students with seven credits or more can go to Students Health Services on the 2nd floor of Petro Hall and see a mental health counselor for free. Youve all ready been charged the $48.50 for a health services fee. (Another one of those little extras to bump up your tuition.) If you feel at all that you may suffer from depression its better to get checked sooner than later because it may take some time to see what will aid you in recovery. Take the first step sooner rather than later. As for Skinny Puppy, she hopes she wont be on her meds forever, but at least she has a forever.

COB students have a long way to hike to satisfy the munchies.

Screaming Cont. from Page 1

scribed Zoloft without an in-depth examination. That was the beginmental illness, it is becoming easier ning of her journey with prescripand less intimidating to seek help. tions as well as other self-medicatToday, many people look at ing drugs. Zoloft didnt help SP. It kept mental illness as just another disease and take effective steps to con- her up and she couldnt eat. As she says, You just have to find the drug trol it. Art major Skinny that works for you. Many patients Puppy(SP), is one person who has try several drugs with unpleasant been dealing with depression for side effects before they find one that several years. SP has been clini- actually works. SP is no exception. cally depressed since high school. She has seen numerous doctors Her dorm room is decorated with over the years. They have made her silver dragons, photos of women look at ink blots, asked her if she with dildos, and intense art work hated her parents, just listened to she created herself. A detailed wa- her, and tested her perception of ter color of a gray revolver on one reality. She has tried Zoloft, side and blood running down the Effexor, and Lexipro, as well as seother side of the paper hangs above riously self-medicating herself with her bed. Oh yeah, laughs SP, drugs and alcohol. SP doesnt recommend selfthat one got me sent to the counselors office in high school. medicating. She said, It just makes SP was sent to her first doctor it harder if you self-medicate. in high school when she couldnt Things just start getting out of consleep and wasnt getting along with trol and you end up worse than you her mother. Her mother explained started. She would know. When to the doctor that her father had suf- her ex-husband joined the National fered from depression and (accord- Guard and left for Fort Riley, Kaning to SP) he immediately pre- sas, she was no longer able to get

drugs. She started drinking until she got kicked out of all the bars in the small town where she was living. SP has two suicidal friends. One slit her wrists and the other overdosed on pills. One thing I do know, she said, is theres a big difference between thinking about doing it and doing it. SPs husband bought her a gun. At first she would just get it out and sit it down and look at it. Then she would get it out and hold it. Then she would think about where she would shoot herself, the temples or under the mouth. She would think about what she would wear, her silk kimono. SPs mom was worried she would commit suicide while talking to her on the phone. Luckily, Lexipro worked for SP. Luckily, her mother never had to hear that gunshot at the other end of the phone line. Luckily, she received help before it was too late. SP is very casual about her disease. Prescription drugs are not big deal when youve been around the drug scene, she says, lying back on her bed in her dorm room at Rimrock Hall. SP is comfortable in her black skull tank top and in her flawless porcelain looking skin. She has a meticulously designed tattoo of a blue rose with the thorny stem curling its way around her upper right arm. The tattoo on her shoulder of wings with the barbed wire wrapping around them is a symbol of how hard its been for her to fly, but she keeps trying. SP is just one example of

THE SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION

A persistent, sad mood Loss of interest in most activities Change in appetite or weight Changes in sleep patterns Restlessness Loss of energy, feeling constantly tired Difficulty concentrating Feelings of worthlessness or guilt Repeated thoughts of death or suicide

Awareness: The Key to Preventing Domestic Violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It also marks the tenth anniversary of the verdict heard round the world. The controversial acquittal of O.J. Simpson opened up the eyes of Americans to the realities of domestic abuse. All too often, people find it easier to overlook the painful cries of those affected by abuse rather than doing something about it. We all have the ability to prevent domestic violence. Recognizing the signs of emotional, verbal, and physical violence is the first key to prevention. Even if we arent involved in a violent relationship ourselves, we all know someone who is, or has been directly affected by one. Often it takes a tragic event, such as the death of Nicole Brown Simpson, to bring awareness to the issue. Domestic violence doesnt just happen somewhere else. Right here in Montana, families are being changed everyday by this violent cycle. The Montana Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence has published an information resource handbook on domestic and dating violence. Directly focusing on prevention and intervention can potentially save someones life. Five warning signs according to the handbook are: 1) The person frequently has bruises or injuries. 2) The person becomes unusually quiet or withdrawn. 3) The person is frequently absent from work or quits. 4) The person stops talking about their partners. 5) The person wears concealing clothing in warm weather. Dont assume that someone you know will tell you that the abuse is taking place. Be a detective. The person may be very evasive, make excuses, or even lie to cover up the guilt or humiliation she/he may be experiencing. Linda McBride, the YWCA Sexual Assault Service Coordinator says, Talking about it also starts the healing to begin and stop the cycle of denial. It is also important to keep in mind that, even though more women are victims of domestic violence, men can be victims too. Since males are thought of as the stronger gender, it is more difficult for men to come forward and be believed. There are many reasons for abuse, but there is no excuse, says McBride Some statistics suggest that violence against women has gone down, issues pertaining to domestic violence in their chosen professions. Students working towards degrees in Law Enforcement, Psychology, Education, Counseling, Nursing and even Business, can benefit by getting involved with domestic violence prevention. The YWCA is always looking for volunteers and advocates, this in turn can add useful experience to your resume. On October 26, 2005 from 7-8p.m. MSU-Billings is presenting an awareness program in the Beartooth Lounge located in the Student Graphic courtesy of www.mcadsv.com Union Building. InforRecognizing the signs of domestic violence is mation will be provided vital. including the YWCA but we havent seen this in and the booklet mentioned earMontana. Even more surpris- lier. ing are the reports indicating For immediate assistance that teenage girls are becoming for the Prevention and Intervenmore aggressive with their boy- tion of Domestic Violence confriends. The YWCA provides tact: YWCA (all departments): several services, support (406) 252-6303; 24-hour Crisis groups, a shelter, and a 24-hour Line: (406) 259-8100, or Moncrisis line to help individuals tana Coalition Against Domesliving with domestic violence. tic and Sexual Violence: (406) MSU-Billings students 443-7794; toll free: 1-888-404from a variety of academic 7818 or mcadsv@mt.net or fields can expect to deal with www.mcadsv.com

Get Out Cont. from Page 1

reported Montana. Smallpox, polio, and even the bubonic plague are diseases that were thought to be wiped out decades eve centuries ago. Cases of these diseases are still being reported in some areas. The biggest threat to Billings, Montana may be the Yellowstone supervolcano. Even the smallest eruption in Yellowstone, with wind blowing this way would cause Billings to be blanketed with anywhere from three inches to thirty feet of ash. A major eruption in Yellowstone would make any emergency or evacuation plan useless. Now that you dont feel safe, what are local and campus authorities doing to prepare for any kind of disaster, natural or created? The Disaster and Emergency Services Unit (DES) is a collaboration of local authorities brought together for the purpose of guiding our community through a disaster. The DES is responsible for writing and updating emergency plans per federal and state laws. The laws are described in the mandates of the Federal Emergency

Management Agency or FEMA and Title 10 of the Montana State code. The DES would coordinate efforts between the Billings Police Department, the Sheriffs Office, Fire Department, and Emergency Medical Services in the event of an emergency. The Emergency Operations Center (EOC) is in the basement of the Fire Departments headquarters building. The EOC would be the base where warnings would be dispatched to radio and television stations, and where orders to activate the countys sirens would be given. One way to deal with a disaster is preparedness. The DES organizes emergency exercises to test out their plans, and local first responders two or three times a year. These drills take place at various locations in or around the city. Other Montana cities have these drills as well, but those drills are organized by their own agencies. MSUBillings was chosen as a site for one of these drills this past summer. The scenario began with a speaker giving a lecture about controversial agricultural issues in the Cisel Recital Hall. Two

environmentalists objected vehemently to the speakers ideologies. The environmentalists took a hostage, disbursed a white powder, and barricaded themselves with their hostage in the Academic Support Center. The first responders were the MSU-Billings campus police officers. They evaluated the situation and called in local authorities. The S.W.A.T. team showed up, and subdued the terrorists with tear gas, rescued the hostage and shot one of the terrorists the process. The Billings Fire Department brought its hazardous materials or HAZMAT unit to campus to deal with the white powder the terrorists had left in the recital hall. The exercise participants in Cisel feigned symptoms of an illness caused by the powder. The exercise was a successful test of local authorities coordinating with each other and the community. MSU-B is equipped and ready to handle emergency situations. Coordinating with the DES unit and other local authorities is the best and most functional way to handle disasters. MSU-B does

have an evacuation plan for every building on campus. Campus Police Chief Barb Hagels biggest concern with an evacuation is that people take it seriously and react appropriately. People are encouraged take their belongings and get out of the building and go to a pre-designated area. Dont stand by the doors, and dont leave without telling someone, who is staying, that you are leaving. If you are unaccounted for because you left, a rescue worker may believe they have to go back into the building to find you. Hagel says another good idea for people who want to be prepared for an emergency is to know where all the exits are. The community and campus are prepared to respond to a disaster if it occurs. The problem with an emergency is that it is unexpected and planning for the unknown is difficult. The best thing to do is simply to be aware of the environment, and keep a watchful eye out for anything out of the ordinary. If a disaster occurs, follow directions and you will be fine.

A Journey to a Land of Intrigue and Terror

floated in the Dead Sea, and visited numerous religious sites that are held in esteem by Christians, Muslims, and The land of Israel is precious to Jews. me. It is the birthplace and focal point Before my trip, I was convinced that Israel was a land of warfare, deserts and camels. However, when I arrived in the modern city of Tel Aviv, I was astonished to stand amidst a thriving, modern city of skyscrapers and businesses. Tel Aviv had a comfortable, safe, Americanized atmosphere. The only major disPhoto by Tracie Overberg tinction between this city The city of Tel Aviv is Americanized. and my own country was of many religions. It is an intense and the harsh sounding Hebrew language fragile place which intrigues and ter- that was spoken all around me. rifies me. Because of my involve- Throughout my travels through ment in Student Government, I had Bethlehem, Nazareth and Golan the opportunity to travel to Israel for Heights, I was fortunate enough to a two-week educational seminar and sleep in Kibbutzs, which are shelters leadership conference for Student where anyone is welcome to stay in Body Presidents. Over two weeks, I exchange for work or trade: comtraveled to Tel Aviv, Bethlehem, munal living that works. Golan Heights, Nazareth, and JerusaThe highlight of my trip to Islem. I rafted on the Jordan River, rael was my three-day stay in Jerusa-

lem. Jerusalem, by virtue of the num- order to make their land a safer place ber and diversity of people who have for their children and grandchildren. held it sacred, may be considered the The Israeli people live, everyday, with most spiritual city in the world. While appreciativeness for life and undying highly charged with intense religious hope that one day their sons and daughdevotion and visited by countless pil- ters will not have to serve in the army grims, Jerusalem has also been rav- once they turn eighteen and that they aged by thirty centuries of warfare may live without fear of terrorist atand strife. It is a place of beauty and tacks and bus bombings promoted by mystery. Palestinian terrorist groups. Likewise, Although site-seeing was a the Palestinian people hope for a day breath-taking affair for me during my when they can travel freely throughtrip, the aspect that made the greatest out Israel without being stopped and impact on me was the dialogue that I searched out of suspicion that they had with people I met from Israel. The people of Israel are sharply divided into two cultures: those who call themselves Israelis and those who identify themselves as Palestinians. The fervor with which the Israeli and Palestinian peoples live their lives was dumbfounding to me. Every inhabitant of Israel that I spoke Photo by Tracie Overberg with was politically in- Jerusalem is the focal point of many religious formed and intensely opin- beliefs. ionated and passionate. In fact, there may be armed with bombs. They is a common saying amongst the Is- yearn for recognition as citizens of raeli people that states: If you ask the Jewish State of Israel with basic two people of Israel a question, you civil liberties. will get three opinions in response. Although the sites I visited After speaking with many throughout Israel painted it as a magidiverse people throughout Israel, I cal, beautiful world to experience, it was touched by the fact that both eth- was the people, with their passion, not nic groups wish for the same goal: to the places that brought the country to achieve peace with their neighbors in life for me.

Career What Moved Where?

which are held on Wednesdays from 10-12 in Li- offered by Career Services early. Getting the best possible help as soon as possible can keep students brary 100, students can: on the right track with their careers. It is definitely better to be safe then sorry especially when it comes 1. Meet Local Executives Many students have never even heard of Cato something as important as the rest of your life. 2. Get Career advice from experts reer Services and that is perfectly fine. However 3. Find Jobs and Internships do not let ignorance get in the way of utilizing all 4. Practice Interview Skills that the MSU-B campus has to offer. Career SerThe October- December schedule is as 5. Polish Resume vices is here to help students determine their mafollows: 6. Attend Executive Panels at COT jor, and help them meet people to help them on Location Date Opportunity their way to a career. Included in this are career Organization If students are interested they can stop by any counselors to help with resumes, cover letters, and Oct. 19, Wed., Executive in Residencemock interviews just to name a few. They also of- one of these Panels to hear what they have to say. Bureau of Indian Affairs, LI 100 fer personality tests, such as the Self Directed Search It is always better to sign up for any of the services Oct. 26, Wed., Executive in Residenceand the Meyers Briggs test, to determine skills, KPMG, LLP accountants, LI 100 abilities and interests in certain job fields. Nov. 2, Wed., COT INTERNSHIP Interested students can call 657-2168 to FAIR Golden Nugget Body and Paint, set up an appointment which are held 8-5 MonCOT Atrium day through Friday. Walk-ins are welcome on Nov. 9, Wed., Executive in ResidenceWednesdays from 10-12. Career Services reSocial Security Administration, LI 100 cently moved from McMullen Hall to the Nov. 17, Thurs., COT Health ground floor outside of the Library building. Occupations-Deaconess Blgs Clinic and For the most part the staff feels that it is a good Indian Health Service, COT B-57 thing, mainly because they are extremely visNov. 30, Wed., Executive in Residenceible from basically anywhere you are outside. Ferguson Enterprises, LI 100 The big windows also help students find their Dec. 6, Tues., COT Computer way. Professionals Computers Unlimited/ Wells Photo by Nicole Livermont One of the Hot New Programs being The Career Services office is now located in the basement Fargo Bank, COT B-57 offered at Career Services is the Career Ser- of the MSU-B Library. vices Career Connection. At these meetings,

Employers to Utilize C a r e e r S e r v i c e s
MSU-BILLINGS NEWS SERVICE Economic expansion and the retirement of baby boomers is shrinking the local pool of job candidates. When labor is in short supply, the costs of a bad hire become more of an issue. According to a 2003 survey by the Families and Work Institute, the problem is more severe for small organizations, which need to recruit good employees to remain competitive or fulfill their mission. Patricia Reuss, director of Career Services & Cooperative Education at Montana State University-Billings, wants businesses and non-profit organizations to know MSU-Billings can help them reach qualified candidates for their open positions. Recruiting from MSU-Billings candidate pool includes students and graduates in two- and four-year degrees at the associate, bachelor and master levels in over 100 programs of study, says Reuss. Thats an excellent supply of educated candidates who could become your next employees. Businesses and non-profit organizations can recruit college student labor by posting part-time jobs on the Career Services Web site at no charge. Employers with access to the Internet may post jobs 24 hours a day, seven days a week at www.msubillings.edu/ careers. Employers also may call Career Services at 657-2168 to post vacancies. Non-profit organizations may use student labor at a subsidized rate, which really can extend their budgets. Registered 501(c) organizations may contract for Community Service Work Study employees, a federallysubsidized program that pays 75% of a students hourly pay. The non-profit agency pays only 25% of the hourly wage, plus Workers Compensation coverage. Recruiting students before they graduate helps organizations reach good candidates before others do. Employers may post full-time positions on the Web and schedule interviews on campus at no charge by phoning Career Services. Representatives of organizations offering bona fide employment also may request that Career Services e-mail them rsums of qualified candidates approaching graduation, by using the new Rsum Transmittal Service, free to employers. Internships are a win-win opportunity for employers and students. Employers benefit from hiring college interns whose classroom knowledge and professional skills prepare them to take on tasks or special projects the organization otherwise might not have the staff to accomplish. Employers may send details of an internship by visiting www.msubillings.edu/careers and following the Employer links. Co-Op Ed will post and promote your internship to students, assist in screening and advising students through the application process, and be a resource through the semester. Career fairs at MSU-Billings are another way to access a large number of potential candidates in a condensed time frame at a reasonable cost. Both the Career Fitness Fair and Teacher Recruitment Interviews on the senior campus are annual spring events; the College of Technology campus at Central and Shiloh holds a targeted internship fair for the information technology and health care sectors. Fees for these fairs may be less than the cost to run one recruitment display ad, and they expose the business through publicity in broadcast media, on the Internet, and in print before and after the event. Reuss comments that Career Services staff regularly visits employers, briefing them on the available services and how to use them. An important part of our mission is to connect employers with a qualified work force, so weve created a one-stop shop for those who need to recruit employees and interns. Let us help you hire the best candidates. For more information, contact Patricia Reuss at MSU-Billings, 657-2168, or e-mail her at preuss@msubillings.edu.

MSU-Billings Cheer Team

12 Positions Available (Cheer/Dance/Stunt) Mascot Position Also Available
November 7, 2005 7:00 pm @ Alterowitz Gymnasium 2 Cheers, 1 Dance, minimal stunting, and resume required
Interested??? Contact Tracie: 1-(406)-6903441 Scholarships Available

Body Art Gains Popularity and Acceptance

Although the history of tattoos is sporadic, a discovery made in the mountains between Italy and Austria in 1991 rocked the world. The 5,000-year-old body, boasting a collection of 57 tattoos, confirmed the extensive global prevalence of the ever-provocative tattoo. Today tattoos are becoming more widely accepted in a broader range of social circles. As many as one in nine American adults are estimated to have at least one tattoo. The number of young adults with tattoos is estimated to be about 30 percent. Once associated with inmates, a d d i n g , Theyre all parts of my life. Along those lines, tattoos of names are thought to be the most covered up and removed of all tattoos and, therefore, the least desirable. Other ink- Hollie Paris. Photos w o r s h i p p e r s by Olivia Koernig think of tattoos as artistic expression on skin. A freshman at MSU-B, Hollie Paris, said Ive always been into art. I just decided to branch out and decorate my body. Paris tattoos are all her own drawings, which makes them one of a kind. Paris designs are her interpretations of traditional henna tattoos. Ive gone so far with mine [tattoos], said Paris, because theyre all completely different from standard tattoos. Nate Petterson, an English major in his junior year at MSU-B, said, I dont get tattoos because I want to rebel or fit in, but because I want fine art one of Griffins tattoos is World Report in 1996 as the sixth an eagle, which Griffin fastest growing retail venture in the said repre- nation, tattooing is becoming a lusents all crative and common career. Vice tribes and Chancellor of Student Affairs at n a t i o n s , MSU-B, Curt Kochner, said, With with the eagle fly- He met a girl who ing highest in the sky had a tattoo, too/ and closest to the creator. From the perspec- the future was wide tive of a tattoo artopen -Tom Petty ist, the more artistic the piece the bet- the proliferation of the tattoo artist ter. Buz Bailey; as a profession, where are people owner of Tattoo trained? Safety, quality and trainArt, which opened ing are all a concern. Most artists its doors in 1978; finds nature and are apprenticed to a veteran shop wildlife artwork particularly reward- owner and learn the trade by obsering. One place he wont put a tattoo vation and by practice, doing the is on someones face saying its too simpler designs that come through out there for me. Tattoos cost a the shop. There are, however, a handful of tattoo schools in the country minimum of about $50 in Billings. Cover up work and tattoo rebuilds are more expensive since they require a higher skill level. Similarly, the best way to gauge a tattoo artists work is by scrutinizing the cover up section of their portfolio. Beyond the artists artistic vision, however, and they hygiene is the most usually important factor. When touring a Nate Petterson. Photos by Olivia Koernig t e a c h piercing tattoo shop, the owner should be willing to explain the ster- basics also. Kochner joked, Is that ilization process and show a poten- a new certificate program we should tial customer all of the supplies. be offering at the COT? The tattoo has a sordid and Shops usually have an autoclave, which is a high pressure sterilization vivid history. Current trends suggest machine also used by hospitals. that the tattoo will enjoy a bright fuNeedles should all be prepackaged ture as well. One things for sure, and broken and disposed of in a tattoos are making their mark on the younger generation. sharps container after each use. The tattoo gun, invented by Sam O Reilly working off a design of Edisons autographic printer, uses a permanent ink-filled hollow needle. A motorized needle perforates the skin, depositing ink about one eighth of an inch below the surface, at a rate of as many as 3,000 pricks per minute. Areas of thin skin with bone right below are considered to the most painful for tattoo apRory Griffin. Photos by Olivia Koernig plication. Listed by U.S. News and

sailors, bikers, or circus Karlene Egbert. Photos by Olivia Koernig freak show attractions, all kinds of people Hes gettin a are going under the gun now. tattoo, yeah/ hes The reasons people get ink are as colorful and varied as the tattoos gettin ink done/ he themselves. Karlene Egbert, a junwanted a 13 but ior Psychology major at MSU-B, said that getting a tattoo was somethey drew a 31 thing for my boyfriend and me to do -Offspring together. For some getting a tattoo is a on my body; although, yes, I enjoy sort of coming of age, a rite of pas- the process of getting tattooed. sage. Eighteen is the legal age to re- Petterson added that while working the counter at a tatceive a tattoo too shop, I used to without parental let the tattoo artconsent. Shawn ists practice on S i l b s me with water [in Silbernagel, a the gun.] sophomore Another apstudying proach to tattoo History at selection is from a MSU-B, got spiritual angle. Rory his first tatGriffin is a senior in too when he the Environmental was 18. His Studies program at dolphin tatMSU-B. His tattoos too is a renderare based on Native ing of the masAmerican Indian cot of his favorShawn Silbernagel. Photos by Olivia traditions. Griffin ite football Koernig said his timber wolf team. Most of [tattoo] represents my Silbernagels tattoos are symbolic of his interests over the yearship grandmothers clan and the bear rephop mainly. Golf is one passion [of resents my fathers clan, which is mine] I have yet to put down in ink. also my clan. My joker [tattoo] repOthers get a tattoo as a way of com- resents my tribe. We are the people, the memorating a special time or place thunderbird in their life. Silbernagel said that he Menominee. All of his tattoos are wears all of his tattoos with pride, symbolic of his heritage. Another

Excision: Just what it sound like, the tattooed skin is sliced out. This method works best on smaller tattoos. Ouch. When used on larger tattoos a skin graft may follow. Dermabrasion: This is skin resurfacing. The tattoo is sanded off with an abrasive instrument. Think of refinishing a piece of wooden furniture. Ouch, again. Laser: This procedure uses pulses of light to break up pigment. More than one treatment is necessary. The feeling is similar to being snapped with a tiny rubber band. Expensive, though. Salabrasion: This technique is hundreds of years old. It involves a solution of tap water and table salt and vigorous rubbing with an abrading device until the skin turns red. Then apply bandages. This is the poor mans tattoo removal of choice.

Methods of Tattoo Removal

Gas Prices Drive Some to Take the Bus

The MET system was cre- cation with a minor in Special ated in 1972 because as Wenger Education, says that he and his says, The Federal government roommates normally carpool. This Fall the City of Bill- felt it was worthwhile. In Is there a stigma that goes ings Metropolitan Transit or 1979 using federal grant money along with riding the bus? MET has seen an increase of the City of Billings bought new Wenger says, There are a lot a p p r o x i m a t e l y 2 0 0 0 m o r e buses and went to a pulse sys- of different mentalities even people riding the bus which tem that includes two transfer within our country. If you go could be attributed to rising stations; one on 3rd Ave. North to New York City, Chicago or gasoline prices. Reflecting on and one by Stewart Park. In ap- L . A . y o u s e e m a n y m o r e bus pass sale increases, Ron Wegner, manager for City of Billings MET says, Our country in general has been a little spoiled in that our gasoline prices have been a lot less than the rest of the world. I think we are dealing with price shock. MSU-B students affirm the pinch Americans are feeling at the pump. Miah Branum, an MSU-B senior majoring in Elementary Education drives a 1985 El Dorado gas guzzler, and says, Gas prices are ridiculous so its Photo by Matt Langman $30/week to drive. However, The MET buses travel throughout most of Billings. he says it would take pretty dire straights for him to con- proximately 18 months a new people taking the bus. There sider riding the bus saying, transfer station located near the is no stigma attached to riding The convenience of having a Wells Fargo drive-up bank at the bus in the bigger city. Who car to drive is nice. It makes the intersection of 26 th Street cares what you drive? life 10 times easier. He ech- and 2nd Avenue North will be What about the environoes the plight of many would- complete. ment? Wegner says, When be MET riders, I have to go to Today the MET caters to you take the bus you certainly work. Do buses run at 10/11 all Billings residents including help reduce the carbon monoxpm? No. the elderly, disabled and stu- ide that is being put out by the The METs theme is You dents. November-May a cars. When you dont use your can get there by bus. Although monthly bus pass for students car, thats just one gallon of this is true, according to some with a valid student I.D. costs gas that doesnt have to be accounts it might take a while. $10. June-October the same taken out of the ground someMandy Yzaguirre, a freshman bus pass is only $5. There are where. Riding the bus is an studying nursing at MSU-B two main routes that run by the environmenttally sound pracused to ride the MET. I hated MSU-B campus; Met Link 1M tice. it. I had to get up an hour ear- and 3D Crosstown. Wait times Some students may think lier for school, ride 45 minutes, for a bus generally vary from that the bus is unsafe or untransferit was a nightmare. one half hour to an hour. healthy, With the flu thats More students might ride the Dennis Dunklee, MSU-B coming up people might be MET if there were more routes senior studying Elementary afraid of getting on the bus. available and shorter wait times Education with a minor in Things dont look sanitary for buses but Wenger says, We reading says that his wife used with other people touching the cant add more service because to ride the MET when they first same seats, says Yzaguirre. we are maxed out. The MET moved to Billings in 1995 but C o u n t e r i n g t h e s e c l a i m s receives its funding through complained about the time Wenger says that the bus is government subsidies and a lo- f r a m e , S h e s f r o m both state-of-the-art and cal MILL levy for nearly $1 Philadelphiashes used to well-maintained. He also million. getting off and on the bus adds that there has never been [quickly]. Now living in Lau- a robbery or assault on the rel and making the commute in MET. Wenger says that at a few either a Geo Spectrum, Buick Regal or Ford Ranger, Dunklee years ago he met with the adsays, The gas prices are out ministration of both Rocky of this world! If I lived in Bill- Mountain College and MSU-B discuss following ings Id start car pooling or use t o the busIts just smart. If you Missoulas example and progo downtown you have to pay viding full MET passes in exfor parking and wear and tear change for a $2 fee for stuon your car is rougher in the dents. The choice was taken cityall the stopping and go- to the MSU-B student Senate ing. Ben Hill, a MSU-B jun- a n d t h e r e i t w a s d e e m e d ior studying Elementary Edu- uneccessary.

Photo by Olivia Koernig The famous Buz Bailey has been making a buzz in Billings since 1978.

Theres Something Scary in the Library

For Halloween, I felt it was only right that we find a story about a good old fashioned haunting on the MSU-B campus. In my search, I heard about a ghost of a former librarian in the library. While tracking down the unsettled spirit, I was put in contact with Dr. Jane Howell, the current director of the library. I was all excited to hear about apparitions walking through bookcases, or books being knocked off shelves like in the hit Bill Murray movie, Ghostbusters. While waiting to talk to Dr. Howell, I chatted with Brent Roberts, an employee of the library, who informed me of his run in with the ghost. On cold winter nights while Im closing, I will sometimes hear a clearing of the throat by the Government Documents section and when I go back there to check, no one is there! Im afraid this is as far proud of. He grew up with Type as any haunting will go. The alleged source of the I diabetes which later contribah-em is the deceased Dr. Aaron uted to the heart attack he had Hause. Hauses story starts when at the age of 55. When I asked Howell if she he came to MSU-Billings in 1978 to begin a career in the li- had any run ins with Aaron afbrary from Brooklyn, New York. Dr. Howell came to MSU-B in 1982 and worked with Hause until his death in 1991 and remembers Hause as a man who could upset people unintentionally with his New York mannerisms. He was very abrupt, wanted everything to be Graphic courtesy of MSU-B Library quick, quick, get on A portion of Aaron Hauses original obituary with it but once you which ran in the Billings, Gazette June 6, 1991. got to know him you realized his attitude was just how ter his death she said, No he grew up. physical manifestations, no Hause didnt ever marry clanking chains, no visions in and never had any children but corners. Though if he were a he did have a sister and niece spirit, I do believe hed be a still in N.Y. whom he was very friendly one.

Howell remembers Hause as the sort of person who would let it be known if he did not approve of what you did. In that sense, if there are spirits his spirit might still be lurking around. When you lose someone very close, they tend to leave an impression on you and that tends to add another level to your consciousness. So in the search for the perfect ghost story, I found instead that the haunting of Aaron Hause is no haunting at all but a lasting memory of the man with the distinctive personality. After his death, many people not connected to the campus that were friends of Hause had reported that he loved the school and would never have left, and maybe he hasnt. For some, that would be a sort of comfort to know that a close friend and colleague who has passed is still with you; maybe not physically but at least in spirit.

W h a t D o Yo u T h i n k o f I n k ?
Tattoos; some get them to rebel against their parents, some get them to christen turning 18 and some get them while wasted with friends. Whatever the reason, you love them or you hate them. The regret of the dreaded inking can be pricey to get rid of. Im one of those who got their tattoo because I had turned 18 and my parents werent there to stop me. Mine is on my back so I never see it but when people ask me about it I wish it wasnt there. I mean, why did I get tribal art when I have no idea what it means and even if I did it prob-

ably wouldnt have any direct meaning to me anyway. I decided to ask people on campus if they had any tattoos and their feeling on them or of tats in general. Here is what they had to say.

I dont have any tattoos but I think people who have tattoos are trying to express themselves. They [tattoos] dont offend me at all. Katrina Gabel Sophomore Public Relations Billings

Well, I dont have any tattoos. I guess I dont really have any problems with them. I have friends that have tattoos but Im not interested in getting a tattoo. Brad Bidwell Freshman English Volborg, MT

I love my tattoo! Im getting more done to it in a couple of weeks! Its part of the logo of my favorite band, Slipknot. I dont have any regrets, its more addicting like cigarettes for the non-smoker. Brad Frazer First year COT- Welding Billings

Yes, I do have tattoos. I dont have any regrets. All of my tattoos are for a reason, they are all sentimental. I dont agree with mindless tattoos; thats b.s. Erin Wiggins Junior Art Winnett, MT

An eerie sighting in the basement stacks of the MSU-B Library: Proof or hoax?

If You Dont Know How to Skank, Dont Bother

They have traveled the world, had numerous band members leave, and new ones join, and they still find time to make great music. The Horrorpops new CD Bring It On is the follow-up to 2004 Hell Yeah. At first this CD was a little scary to buy, because it seemed almost impossible that anything could live up to their previous one. But the first song does not disappoint. This CD was good the first 20 seconds into it, and that is hard to get nowadays. Horrorpops have a style so completely full of energy, that it is a struggle to remain stationary while it plays. and HitnRun will make you cry. If thats not enough for you, weaved throughout every song is Patricia Day, belting out vocals raw enough to make your throat itch with her signature white bass thumping along the whole way. The band also has Nekromantix frontman Kim Nekroman on Guitar and backing vocals, 009dermeier on drums, and Geoff Kresage on guitar. Cover art courtesy of Hellcat Records The Horrorpops also have two goDont worry guys, the broken bass was computer generated! go dancers. When While it does not feel quite the same as Hell Yeah, songs like Freaks In Uniforms will get your toe tapping. Walk Like a Zombie will make you laugh they perform live, the go-gos stand on either side of the stage, dancing to the music, waving gigantic lollipops at the crowd. This band definitely has strong roots in Psychobilly, a spooky, melodic, semi-country sounding offset of rock, but they take it a little farther. The Horrorpops style is definitely unique, and promises to be a fixture in car CD players and walkmans. Even though they have not been around as long as some of the other Psychobilly bands, sometimes it is good to see a fresh face in the crowd. Bring It On is a sure bet if you music enthusiasts out there are looking for something a little different. So check it out, turn it up and Bring It On.

Wicked: A More Adult View of The Wizard of OZ

Growing up, almost all of us had seen The Wizard of Oz, the story about the Wicked Witch of the West being an ugly, mean woman who wanted to hurt the pure, sweet and innocent Dorothy and her little dog. Throughout the movie the audience is hoping Dorothy got away from the Wicked Witch. An admitted Harry Potter fan, I heard about this book in a magazine and picked it up. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, is an entertaining novel telling her side of the story. The author, Gregory Maguire, starts with the birth of the little green baby Elphaba and I couldnt put the book down because I wanted to see how she became wicked. I knew most of the characters but I was seeing them in a different light with feelings and more human. Elphaba is green and her sister Nessarose is armless. A little quirky but fun, like a fantasy geared more towards adults. Maguire takes you on a trip to OZ that youve never seen before. Growing up with a mother who drinks and has an affair on her father, a God-fearing preacher who is suspicious as to whom is the real father of his younger daughter. Elphaba soon goes to college where she meets the Good Witch Glinda and soon the two become friends. After the death of one of her favorite teachers, who happens to be a talking Goat, Elphaba decides to leave college and avenge his death. In hiding, she becomes a fighter for rights for animals and falls in love with an old classmate. When he is killed, she is convinced the Wizard was behind it and goes to live in the country with a boy, crows and a monkey. After a few years, she gets

word of a house falling on her armless sister wearing ruby slippers her father had given her. The house, of course, is Dorothys. Elphaba, who had always been jealous of the slippers her sister had been given, goes to get them from the dead Wicked Witch of the East only to find that Glinda the Good had given them to Dorothy. This angers Elphaba so she sets out to get them back. Throughout the entire book, you end up rooting for the Wicked Witch of the West and falling in love with her satirical wit and charm. You know her fate but you cannot help but hope the green Illustration by Douglas Smith Elphaba somehow pre- In Maguires interpretation the Wicked Witch of the West is the protagonist. vails!

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Its Halloween Again! Lets Pull One Out of the Vault!

(The main content of this article was originally published October 1998 in the Retort.) Way back in October of 1998, the fourth installment of the Chucky horror films was released. Many of you dear readers had not yet entered junior high, let alone high school, and subsequently, may have missed this great little ditty. Granted, by the third Chucky film, things had gotten quite stale and predictable, and it was with much trepidation that I braved the movie theatre in order to produce my first film review for this very newspaper. Needless to say, within the first 15 minutes, Chucky had pulled me back into his sick, depraved little world, and I had a cat that ate the canary grin on my face for the next hour and a half. Slasher flick silliness aside,

Kevin Yagher does an excel- lent job on the doll effects, and Paul The Bride of Chucky proved itself to be a gem of a show. Jones and his team are reRight off the bat, it needs sponsible for the great to be stated that the absomake-up effects. lute best part of the film is John Ritter plays the the creativity, imagination, devious local police chief, and execution of the kill and Brad Dourif supplies scenes. I am not going to the voice of Chucky. Altogive anything away here, gether now, the movie is but lets just say that you pretty cornball, but isnt should always keep an eye that the standard for the out for semi trailers. slasher film anyway? (The Jennifer Tilly stars as answer is yes) the real life girlfriend of On a final note, the Charles Ray, the man film also features a sweet, whose spirit has possessed kickass soundtrack comthe Chucky doll, and also plied by Rob Zombie, and as the voice of the doll that they play it loud. This film her character becomes afis graded a B+ ter Chucky kills her. (Hey, If you like this movie, its Hollywood, give em a youll also like: little slack) The two dolls House of 1,000 Corpses wreak havoc in a small Devils Rejects New England town, killing Hedwig and the Angry Inch Photo courtesy of www.phillyfests.com nearly everyone they come Bride of Chucky star, Jennifer Tilly, gets a groping from her Puppet Master into contact with. latex husband.

Get Screwed for Halloween 2005 Cheap Costume Ideas for the Cost-Conscious Consumer
I know what youre thinking and no, this is not another ad for Viagra. Its that time again, a special time, a time when you have a semi-valid excuse for embarrassing all of your friends without the threat of any serious retribution. Thats right, Im speaking of Halloween, the time when everyone dresses up so they can commit infamous acts of sabotage, malicious mischief, and buggery without revealing their true identity. Read on, and you will be heightened to the tremendous possibilities you can derive from a two-mile trip to your local dollar store. Before we dive into the dumpster, lets start with a few tips: 1) Go cheap! No one wants to spend a lot of time and money on threads youll only slap on one day of the year. 2) Ladies, dont be afraid to break out the vinyl! Fishnets are good for any occasion. 3) You can put almost anything on your head, whether you have to glue it on or not. 4) Take a nose dive into your parents closet, you might fall onto an outfit they wore at without, pin them to the suit, and viola! You have a lawsuit. (By reading this you acknowledge that the Retort and any of its affiliates do not take any responsibility for your actions after reading this article.) Legalese aside, lets plow over to our next costume: roadkill. This ones a snap. Just take the tire off your roommates car, and dip it into the fluid thats constantly leaking from underneath it. Run it over your regular clothes and splat, roadkill. If you really want to lighten up the party, get a pair of yellow coveralls and paint your head red. No, youre not a 49er s fan, youre a matchstick. If you want a classy touch, put a white spot on the very top that will let everyone know you can truly be struck anywhere. Next we have a simple little ditty with a trash bag and three holes. Congratulations, youre trashed! And the best part is, its easy to clean. This brings us to the coup de grace: screwed. All you need for this one is a slinky and some aluminum foil. Stretch out the slinky and clip off two pieces. Attach a paper plate to one of the pieces and wrap foil around the whole mess. Stick either end into an old shirt. Well done, youre screwed.

Photo by Olivia Koernig Being trashed is not only affordable, but pretty scary!

Woodstock, dont forget to wash it first, though. Hygiene aside, lets kick off our first costume with something sci-fi: the Fly. Dont whip out your stage makeup yet, all you need for this one is a fly-swatter, some fake blood (or ketchup from the cafeteria, if you like to wear condiments), and an adhesive (or staples if youre brave). Just

smack that swatter on your forehead and dribble a little fake blood and youve got yourself the Fly, fresh from his date with the newspaper. Law student? No problem. This next ones got legal written all over it. Check out the thrift stores and pick up a cheap two-piece suit. Tear out a few pieces of legislation from that accounting law book you could do

Bad Manners: Hold the Phone, This is Important!

When was the last time you were walking through the mall and saw a line of girls all on their cell phones? There is an overwhelming obsession with cell phones sweeping the nation. People are afraid to leave home without them. Hopefully this trend dies down, but something tells me its only beginning. There is a time and place for cells phones. People dont understand that and insist on having them everywhere. Movie theaters, restaurants and professors have had enough; there needs to be some common sense here. If you are in the same room you dont need to be talking on the phone to each other. When you are in the company of a friend and on the phone, theyre not thinking of how cool your conversation is, theyre thinking get the hell off the phone, Im getting bored. Then there are those people that talk about private things in public places way too loud. Nobody wants to know about the three chicks you bagged in a single night or the horrible yeast infection you have been dealing with for a week. Seriously, we dont want to hear

Photo by Nicole Livermont Its important to know when using your cell phone is appropriate.

it. Keep it to yourself! Sometimes I wonder if they really think there is an invisible curtain that separates them from the rest of the world so they cant be

heard. Its like farting in an el- have their own cell phones. Are evator, people will become just they taking important business as uncomfortable around you calls that cant be missed? They when you tell them you just got cant even drive so you know crabs and havent made it to the theyre easily found no matter doctors office yet. where they are, theyre on foot. Along with the cell Another important asphones becoming a casual re- pect of the phone craze to exquirement, there is a loss of soli- amine is the picture phone. tude. Before the cell phone era, Honestly, do you need to take when people were alone in an el- pictures everywhere you go? evator, they Sure, theyre were alone to- Nobody wants to know about cute and congether. Now, the three chicks you bagged in a venient, you nobody is ever single night, or the horrible can take really alone. yeast infection you have been drunken picCompany is a tures of you dealing with for a week. phone call and your budaway. Its like an insecurity that dies or a picture of a funny road is becoming sick and sad. Its sign. Think about it, is this truly okay to be without contact with necessary? Analyze the facts. Is the world every now and again. it worth a couple hundred dolIts healthy. lars to have drunken pictures As the trend creeps on, and captured road sign footage? the need for a cell phone be- You be the judge. comes blurred by the facts that An outrageous trend that a cell phone is cool. Case and almost everyone is guilty of point, since when does a nine to buying into: the cell phone twelve year old ever need to be trend. Will the trend die? Will available at all times? Never. it continue to spiral out of conThen why do these children trol? Only time will tell.

Dear Amelia and Harry

Harry and Amelia Worchestershire are a happily married couple who recently celebrated their sixty-eighth wedding anniversary. Due to a community outreach program, they have agreed to lend their insight and wisdom of love, life and marriage to college-aged people in order to provide guidance. Question: Dear Amelia and Harry; Im a fifteen-year-old girl, and think my 24-year-old boyfriend Craig might have gotten me pregnant. Help! Confused in Pawtucket Harry: Now look here you little trollop. I dont know if your whoring is the result of television, poor parents or that infernal rap music. The fact of the matter is that you, like my lovely wife Amelia, have entrapped a strapping young chap such as Craig, by putting him in ovary prison! You should be ashamed cutting this mans life all too painfully short. Amelia: Oh, dont listen to that old buzzard! He would have been much happier in those bathhouses in oh, San Francisco? Anyway, you should do at least six Hail Marys with your priest and for Gods sake, get married or join the convent! May God have mercy on your soul. can I do to help him along? Helpless in Harrisburg Harry: Ah, lassie. Youve come to the right place. I know all about pain. In 1941, I was deployed to the Philippines, and one day this Jap bayoneted me in the stomach, and I lay there for nine hours, writhing around in the mud and my own filth until a platoon of marines found me and sent me to the naval hospital in San Diego, where I met me lovely wife Amelia, who was working as an intensive care nurse. It didnt take her long to get her hooks in me and suck the very life out of me! If I had a choice of sixty-eight years of marriage or more cold steel in the belly, Id be on the first flight to Tokyo, believe you me. Amelia: I should have joined that convent I preach of! Anyway, I know what old Harry would have expected me to do if he lost old Rosy. Hold your guns, dear! Hes not dead; he can still work and dont let him think he cant! Pain! Dont listen to Harry, he doesnt know pain!! Try biting on a rotten stick that who knows how many cows have pissed on while giving birth to his five little bastards! That is pain, my dear!

Harry: Tips? TIPS? You want a tip, you silly bastard? Ill give you a tip! Cut bait and run like hell, son! Dont let her get her hooks in you! Spend your nights at the moving picture shows and ogling the dancing girls; otherwise develop a drinking problem, so that liquor can fend off the cold on those long nights your wife is tramping around the bingo parlor with the rest of the soul sucking succubi. You hear me Amelia, you filthy whore? YOU HEAR ME? Amelia: Your words do not hurt me! God and I will both hurt you in the end, and when the devils drink wears off, Ill Question: Amelia and Harry, my wife still be here and where will the dancing Rhonda and I just celebrated our first girls be? HELL, thats where! How to Question: Dear Amelia and Harry: wedding anniversary. Do you have any preserve a loving union? The same way My husband recently lost his left arm in a tips on how to preserve a loving union? you preserve fruit; stuff them in a tight jar and suck the air out of them!! tragic combine accident, and the medicaIn Love in Luxemburg tion he received just isnt working. What

Age: 24 Hometown: Billings Major: Psychology Minor: Undecided Dream job: Photographer for National Geographic Top of celebrity make out list: Monica Bellucci Famous person youd most like to kick the crap out of: Gary Busey Recurring nightmare: I see About your photo: Boys something perfect and cant find my camera. with toys...

Matt Langman

Age: 23 Hometown: Orlando, Fl. Major: History Ed. Minor: Political Science and Sociology Dream job: Supreme Court Justice or an International Ambassador Top of celebrity make out list: Mark Mcgrath, Ryan Phillippe and Jared Leto Famous person youd most like to kick the crap out of: About your photo: I had a Cameron Diaz really long day... Recurring nightmare : Sleeping through my finals-been there, done that.

Emily Valenzuela

Zen Cowboy Chuck Pyle: Professor Profile D r. Z w i c k , S c i e n c e D e p a r t m e n t

Romancing the Moment
humorous to haunting, all of which echoed inherent wisdom. His guitar sang melodies ranging from gypsy After my arrival at Cisel Re- ballads to rag-time. Chucks fingers cital Hall for the Chuck Pyle concert, I realized it was anything but what I expected. Chuck is a refined and soulful cowboy, rather than a high-strung, rowdy, buck-a-roo. His ability to pick a guitar was evident when he stepped on the stage and immediately broke into a soft, smooth, ballad which hypnotized the crowd. He announced he was on his You Look Pretty Good, tour having just turned 60 years young, and he was celebrating his newest CD, Romancing the Moment. The audience was an all ages mix of fans Photo courtesy of www.chuckpyle.com of the Zen Cowboy. His rhythm and Chuck Pyle played at Cisel Hall on October 15. style appealed to a diverse crowd, which made this concert a family ex- moved so quickly over the strings that his ability to play melody and perience. Chucks lyrics ranged from bass at the same time left me riveted. My two favorite songs were MSU-B Guess Who Yucki Sushi, which is a comical Which MSU-B administrator song about a Minnesotan who had sports this tattoo? Is it: to eat sushi while in Japan, and InA) Kurt Cochner, Vice side My Face, which is a story of Chancellor of Student Affairs living with ADD, which I could unB)Dan Carter, University conditionally relate to. Relations I was glad to experience such C) Jeanie McIsaac-Tracie, a master of the acoustical guitar. I Housing and Residential Life am grateful to the presenters for Check out the back page for bringing in such a talented artist up the answer. from Colorado to grace the MSUB campus with his Zen Cowboyism. The October 15 concert was a live broadcast performance benefit for the Montana Center on Disabilities at the Montana State University-Billings through a collaboration of Arts Partners Unlimited and Yellowstone Public Radio. Thank you all for the experience. MD: What are the classes you teach here at MSU-B? TZ: All the Earth Sciences and Physical Geography. MD: Where were you born or raised? TZ: I was hatched. No, Wisconsin. MD: Where did you attend college? TZ: First, I went to the University of Wisconsin, then Princeton University, then University of Colorado and a lot in between. MD: How long have you been teaching here at MSU-B? TZ: Too damn long. 32 years. MD: Wow! TZ: I know. MD : What excites you about teaching? TZ: The students! MD : What is your pet peeve from students or irritants? TZ : Students that dont come to class and then cant figure out why they dont do well in class. They fail to see the correlation between the two. MD: What impresses you with students? TZ: It seems in every class there are that handful of students

that are bright spots. Contrary to popular belief, some very bright students go to school here. They dont all go to Bozeman or Missoula. MD: What do you do when you arent teaching? Do you have any hobbies? TZ: When Im not here, I do research in Alaska and a lot of fishing! I guide fisherman, also. MD: What should students expect to leave with after taking one of your classes? TZ : Depends upon how much effort they put in. I would hope they would get a basic understanding of geology or at least the basic concepts. MD: Final question, Coke or Pepsi? TZ: I dont drink Coke or Pepsi and I sure as hell wouldnt dilute my bourbon with it!

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Help Wanted.10-12/hrs a week driving for Cafe Courier. Flexible schedule-Must use own vehicle-Must have good driving record. Contact Dustin @ 294.3301 DL-Thanks for the plug! Ive never needed one so bad in my life. MDV To the hot blonde guy in Marschkes 105, you distract me during class. Feliz Cumpleanos, Jota!

Scraping the Barrel: Go On, I D.A.R.E. You!

( if I could, Id be on Broadway doing Rent, or working as one of James Browns backup dancers). I cant sculp a statue of Abraham Lincoln out of Raisin Bran and cottage cheese. Whats that? Go off on one of my nowfamous tangents condoning and supporting illegal use of narcotics? You got it, sweetheart. For example have you listened to the radio lately? Where some sixteen year old, fallen from grace, disgraced prom queen tells you, in a sober and teary voice the dangers of doing meth? Im getting awfully sick and tired of hearing the same sob story from a woman whose lack of self control and basic intelligence caused her to abuse methamphetamine, and the next thing she knows, she finds herself in a sleazy hotel room getting filled out like a job application by half of the Harlem Globetrotters in order to feed her addiction. That sort of thing wants to make me run out and inhale copious amounts of smack just for spite, go home, toss my live-in girlfriend down three flights of stairs, kick my dog and steal my neighbors Medicare check days before she runs out of her insulin supply. This Just Say No crap is getting really tedious. I think we should encourage more illegal narcotics use in our nations middle schools, on the platform that theyll have more friends and will get really popular and go to a good college after their sixth year of high school and second illegitimate child. Slightly off topic, has anyone else gotten the impression that maybe those Globetrotters games arent totally on the level? Ive never done drugs. Not that I wouldnt like to but because no one would sell me any, based on the fact that I look like a date-rapist/undercover cop. I dont want to hear about how drugs arent cool. Look at Aerosmith. One could contend the end of the 70s. Once they dried out, well, they put out lackluster albums, and sang a song on the Armageddon soundtrack Nuff said. Moving on. Drug use also makes for better times than a drug free lifestyle. Twenty years from now, when you and your friends meet at your high school reunion, you wont want to talk about what a great time you had playing Boggle in the church van driving back from the teen abstinence rally. No, you want to relive that one time that involved a rented Winnebago (the recreational vehicle, not the Indian), a half dozen Puerto Rican hookers, a fishbowl full of LSD, and the Republican nominee for Congress. So keep that in mind this weekend, when youre engaging in your nonsense and tomfoolery, and try not to burn your fingerprints off while trying to light your glass pipes. Please read next issue, where I promise 67 percent more sex, vioGraphic courtesy of http:// www.herndonfineart.com/ lence, and offensive paragraphs. I might even A drug-induced interpretation of Aerosmith, perhaps. make a couple jokes about that they used to be rockin cool, domestic violence and a racial and they ingested a third of the slur about the guy who played national export of Colombia by Lamont on Sanford and Sons.

The views expressed in this column are not necessarily the views of The Retort, its editors, or any rational human being. Controversy sells papers. Thats what some vaguely famous newspaper-person once said. I think. Every now and then my editors will mumble something incoherently about journalism or perhaps birth control. When I mention this, I will more often than not zone out or flip through the occasional back issue of Hustlers Beaver Hunt that makes its way into the Retort office, which is oddly enough found right next to the Hindu Bhagavad Gita, which itself is found right next to a dogeared paperback Mein Kampf. Dont ask. Its a weird office. Im not good at many things. I cant sing, I cant dance,

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Volleyball Earns First Ever Regional Ranking

The MSU-Billings volleyball team achieved a milestone in program history recently when the Lady Yellowjackets (17-4, 6-2 Heartland Conference) were ranked fifth in the Oct. 7 NCAA Division II Southwest regional poll, marking the first time ever that MSU-B has been ranked in a regional poll. It is great for our players and coaches to earn respect by being ranked in the poll, said Head Coach Paulasi Matavao. The ranking comes as the Jackets are riding the crest of a five game winning streak including a win over Rocky Mountain College and four shutout wins on their first Heartland Conference road trip, two each over Dallas Baptist and Oklahoma Panhandle. We are playing really well and should be well positioned going into our final four league games, said Matavao Individual Jacket spikers also keep garnering honors in the last few weeks, Alicia Cazemier and Nicole Kruse have both been named Heartland Conference players of the week. Kruse, a sophomore defensive specialist from Huntley earned defensive PTW for the week of Sept. 26Oct. 2. Over the course of the two game sweep of DBU, Kruse tallied 30 digs and six service aces. She is currently second in the league in service aces with 47 and seventh in digs with 225. Cazemier, a sophomore middle blocker from Vauxhall, Alberta followed up the next week earning offensive player of the week for her performance against OPSU. In the two matches against the Aggies she scored 30 kills on 50 attempts. She also chalked up six blocks pushing

her career total above 200 becoming just the sixth player in MSU-B history to do so. After a week off and another road trip this time to Austin Texas to face St. Edwards the Lady Jackets will return home for three games to finish the season. On Wednesday Oct. 26 MSU-B will go for the season sweep of the intra-city rivalry as they host RMC at 7p.m. November 4 and 5, the Jackets complete conference play as the Cardinals of Incarnate Word pay a visit to Alterowitz Gym. Game times are 7 p.m. on Friday and 2 p.m. on Saturday. Winning at least two of the four remaining league games will Photo by Matt Langman more than likely guarantee MSU-B one of four berths in the Heartland Cazeimer earned Heartland Conference player of the week Conference tournament to be held in honors. Austin, November 11 and 12.

Soccer Season Winding Down

There is No Place Like Home?
After a rough start to the 2005 season, the Yellowjacket Mens soccer team (5-13) sought to improve its fortunes during a recent homestand. It is tough to start the season with 10 straight road games, said Head Coach Dan McNally. With all the travel and hotel rooms and what not, we had played really well, just barely losing some close games on the road. It was good to have some home games. a 1-0 Jacket victory with senior midfielder Marcus Reily scoring the games only goal 68 minutes into the match. Thus it was with high hopes that MSU-B entered the final two games of the homestand. During the game against Regis on Oct. 8, the Jackets were outshot by the Rangers 16-5 coming out on the losing end of the 1-0 game. The home finale on Oct. 9 saw CSU-Pueblo make the trek to COT field. Although the Jackets were able to make up a 1-0 deficit on a goal by sophomore defenseman Greg McKeeever off a penalty kick by junior midfielder Travis Paulson and force overtime, the Thunderwolves proved too much for MSU-B. CSUPueblo scored with two minutes and 40 seconds remaining in the first overtime to take the 2-1 victory. The Yellowjackets concluded the 2005 campaign with one last road trip, this time for three games in Phoenix, Arizona. October 14 MSU-B played Embry-Riddle (loss 1-0); October 15 the Jackets played a neutral site game against Humboldt State (win 2-0.) The final game for MSU-B was October 17 when they took on Grand Canyon University (loss1-0.)

Photo by Ana Lopez of Rattler News Defender Josh Hernandez plays a ball during a game against St. Mary.

The first two games of the homestand went according to plan. On October 1, MSU-B defeated Colorado Christian 1-0 when senior forward Dustin Kono recorded the fastest goal in school history, scoring just 51 seconds into the game. A game five days later against the Patriots of Dallas Baptist again yielded

the regional poll and with a 5-1 how many games we won someblowout of DBU on October 6, body was always ahead of us beMSU-B pulled into first in the Heart- cause of the strength of their league land Conference standings and guar- schedule. This year with a conferanteed themence we feel that selves a spot in the we are more in league tournacontrol of our ment. It is great own destiny, to have a spot in said Stroup. the tourney The third clinched, said and final ingrediHead Coach Don ent in the winning Trentham. Our mix is the unusugoal is now to win ally high level of out the rest of our camaraderie games and hold amongst the playon to first place. ers. With most So far this of us coming year the jackets from out-of-state have great effort arriving here from many without much sources. Six difPhoto by Matt Langman family or anyferent MSU-B Defender Lacy Albrent attempts to thing, said players have deflect a ball during a 5-1 win over Albrent. We (the earned a total of DBU. players) kind of seven conference player of the week banded together like a family, offerhonors. They are Vansessa Edwards, ing each other support and hanging Abby Bennet, Lacy Albrent and out together off the field. Mandy Ploskonka on defense and Before the Conference tournaAlly Stroup (2), and Brittney Sandau ment which will be hosted by St. on offense. From a coaching per- Edwards University in Austin Texas spective to have such a deep team is November 3-5, the Jackets will play a real plus, said Trentham. four regular season games: three in The move into the Heartland Texas, October 21 at Incarnate Word, Lady Jackets Clinch First Conference is also a key to success October 23 at St. Edwards, and OcEver Postseason Appearance for the Lady Jackets. During 2004, tober 25 at Angelo State. The reguIn contrast to the somewhat their last year as an independent, lar season finale for MSU-B will be disappointing fortunes of their male MSU-B just missed the West Region back in Billings as the Jackets square counterparts the Lady Yellowjackets tournament by finishing 10th in the off against cross-town rival the (9-3-1) have had an exceptional sea- final poll despite their 12-4-3 record. Battlin Bears of Rocky on October son. Spending some time ranked in Last year when we were an inde- 29. Game time at Wendys field on pendent it seemed like no matter the RMC campus is 1 p.m.

Thursday Night Fights is Back with a Punch

Thursday is an odd day. Hump day just got over, but it still is not Friday, and you cant think of anything to do. Well, if you feel like kicking back and watching people beat each other up, then load up the car and take it downtown to the Thursday Night Fights. For $12 you can get about 3 hours of entertainment (about the cost of a movie and popcorn at the theatre). Opening night was September 29, but they are now having fights once weekly at 7 P.M. Even if violence isnt your forte, it is hard to keep your voice down when the fight starts to get good. There are two sides to every fight: yellow and red; they are categorized by weight and experience. Each Thursday there is also a girl fight stuck in for good measure. Every round fought also has a bikini-clad ring girl to hold the sign up, and throwing dollar bills at her is encouraged. As far as beverages go, there isnt much of a selection. The only options are Miller for 3$ or Mikes Hard Lemonade for the same price. After the fights however, Caseys has an after-party, so hold out until then. The best part of the whole show is the crowd. Everyone is up screaming for their fighter; they cheer on the winners and heckle the losers. It doesnt matter; however, if a fighter

loses, they still get applause. Eric Dont Hit Me Ouzts, a fighter on September 29 had a particularly large crowd cheering for him. I asked him why he participates in the fights. I do it for fun, he said, I am good at most sports so I thought I would try this. When I asked him why he lost he stated, It was a split decision instead of a unanimous one, and in the second round he got more hits. Erics supporters were mostly his friends from high school, and his sister was also there to cheer him on. Yes I Photo courtesy of Club Boxing, Inc. will be back next week, he said A fighter takes a fall during a Thursday smiling. But next time around I Night Fight. will hit harder.

Game On! Bulls Begin 2005-2006 Campaign

change for the Bulls this year comes in the make up of the NAHL western division. The move of the Springfield (Mo.) Spirit to Road Games, New Coach and Realigned Wasillia, Alaska, coupled with the addition Divisions Make for Differences in 05-06 of teams in North Iowa (Mason City) and A casual glance at the first month of Southern Minnesota (Owatonna) has caused the season would make it appear that the realignment within the NAHL. The WestNorth American Hockey League schedule ern Division will now be made up of Billmakers decided to conspire against the Bill- ings, Wasilla, the Fairbanks Ice Dogs, Helings Bulls and their first year coach Doug ena Bighorns and the Bozeman Icedogs Johnson. The Bulls you see, played their first while former western division teams Bis12 games away from Metra Park Arena log- marck, Fargo-Moorhead and Alexandria ging around 10,000 miles of travel. During (Minn.) will join the expansion clubs to form this odyssey the Bulls spent about a week the Central Division. Look for Veteran Forwards to Carry Team Unlike last years team, which derived much of its success from a stellar performance in goal by Jon Anderson who has left Billings for the University of Connecticut, this years squad may rely on more on its ability to put the puck in the net rather than keep it out. On offense the Bulls will be led by four returning veterans: Anthony Photo courtesy of the Billings Bulls Cosmano, Sean Bertsch, Dusty Jackson, Forward Anthony Cosmano is one of the players the and Will Munson. Rounding out the Billings Bulls are looking to lead them back to the NAHL front lines are rookies: Mitch Kerns, playoffs. Aaron Jeffery, Nick Zilka, Matt Becker, up in Alaska shuttling back and forth be- Travis Hamway, John Grossi, Branislav tween Fairbanks and Wasilla as well as mak- Lemesani and Joel Sauer. With this much ing additional trips to Fargo-Moorhead and veteran leadership on offense we should be the Twin Cities. It was certainly not ideal able to score four or five goals a game, said said Johnson. However with the league Johnson. The back line will be lacking experishowcase in Blaine, Minnesota, and the Metra being used for other events this is the ence, however, as only one veteran defenseman: Jeff Stone returns joined by way it had to be. Taking over for Mike Aikens whose newcomers: Jon Cook, Cary Enoch, Nick contract was not renewed following last sea- Del Rosso, Jay Fifield, Brady Olson, A.J. son, Johnson, a former Bulls player and as- Woodward, Sam Eccles and Josh Erhardt. sistant coach, inherits a team that last year Goaltending may also be a bit of a question went 33-17 in the regular season and de- mark for the Bulls as so far a replacement feated Helena in the division semifinals be- for the ultra reliable Anderson has not fore being swept by Fargo-Moorhead in the emerged and instead a goalie by committee finals. We had a good year last year but I has emerged with three net minders, Ian Wilthink we can do better this year, win the di- son, Mike Reilly and John Whitacre, sharvision and get back to the national tourna- ing the duty. Until a clear number one goalie emerges they will all see some playment, said Johnson. Along with a new coach, another ing time, said Johnson, and it will be important to get those eight rookies on defense playing like veterans quickly if we are to have any long term success. Finally Some Home Games The long awaited home opener for Billings will take place on Wednesday, October 26 when the Helena Bighorns visit MetraPark Arena. A more formal opening day ceremony for the Bulls will be held when the same two teams again take to the Metra ice Friday, October 28. The four game homestand will then conclude with some interdivision action. On October 29 the Fargo-Moorhead Jets come to town and November 2 sees the inaugural visit of the Southern Minnesota Express to Billings. The puck drops on all four games at 7:05 p.m.

Vol. 18, No. 13, Friday, January 29, 1965

Photo by Roy LaBard FOR THIS... YOU DIE--Dr. Harold S. Alterowitz was arrested three times during Little Las Vegas night Saturday, so Dave Madson (with the pistol) and Fred Zaino decide to pass sentence on him.

Knights Night
I have been one acquainted with the night, A lonely soul taking up the fight. My heart is not with the kill, And my mind far from my will, But, I strive to rise and go, Despite the torment and woe. The darkness is my ally and my friend, A solitary place where I shall meet my end. A lightless passage; secrets they keep, It is the heart where my soul can weep. I am alone, I am on my own. No one in which to confide, Nowhere in which to hide, Nothing can I desire, Except the ebb of fire That burns in my soul, Black as coal. Darkness is my shroud, Night is my cloud. Here...I hide and...I weep, Secrets I...am cursed to keep. No one...at my side, No place...can...I...hide.

Necessary Death
When I stumbled I stood upright A stance falling Like dull, uncertain light. I searched for ways To change faces. I wanted to be In the service of Monotony, To be numbed By self-numbing. You drove feeling Right through me, As though your Aim was to kill. And kill you did. I never have felt more, Cared more, wanted

Three Sketches While Niki Sleeps

1 New frost bristles On grass. In morning vacancy Your body distant Your body, lean, cleansed with pain Soaked where bone meets muscle Muscle meets skin A distance that is your own. 2 Blood of hours warm and quick In numb blue dawn. The birds that didnt fly Chirp among damp branches so spare and dark Against gray mist. 3 Iris of the dawn, blue, Enters your body Unwinds slowly in you. Warm sheets of rose Unfold across the sky And lose their distance And sail down to you Drape morning rose over you Naked is the rose that covers you.

Bats and Balls in the Fall

Head Baseball Coach Chris Brown and his assistants were pleased with what they saw from the over 40 players that participated in the month long fall practice sessions. Brown said, We had some excellent hitting, pitching and base running from our guys and hopefully that is a sign of things to come. Particularly noteworthy, according to Brown, was the performance of the many players on the team who are from Montana. He said, People dont realize what tremendous talent we have in the American Legion programs and the two community colleges. It is an enormous untapped resource and it is our Field on October 10 and 11 with the goal to build a program that benefits Blue team taking games three and directly from such home grown abil- four to win the series three games to ity. The culminating event of the fall season for MSU-B was the first ever Yellowjacket World Series, a best of five series of seven inning intrasquad games between the Blue and White teams. The losing side was forced to cater dinner for the winners. The series began with each team notching a victory Photo by Matt Langman during a doubleheader at Infielder Matt Schoonover takes a cut during the Cobb Field on October 8. Yellowjackets first ever fall scrimmage. The series shifted to Pirtz one. The purpose of the Yellowjacket World Series went beyond just putting our guys in a game situation. It was a chance for the community to come out and get a sneak peak at the new team in town, said Brown. A chance for the community to get out to the ballpark one more time this year, meet the players, and watch a little October baseball live. The Jackets will play their first regular season game February 18, 2006 when they travel to Denver to take on Colorado Christian. After MSU-B spends the first month on the road, the home opener will come on St. Patricks Day March 17, when the Crusaders of Northwest Nazarene come to Cobb Field.

Try to match our faces to the right tattoo. Be careful, we put in an extra face to throw you off!

Retort Tattoos

1 2

Photo by Aaron Bryers Top of Deer Mountain, Ketchikan Alaska. A) Niki Porter B) Jed Barton

The Answer From Page 15 Dan Carter, University Relations

C) Nicole Livermont D) Tess Hatfeild

E) Olivia Koernig F) Melissa DeVries

Answer: A-2, B-no tattoo, C-1, D-4, E-3, F-5

Halloween Word Find

Olivias Picks
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2. Heathers 3. So I Married an Ax Murderer 4. Fight Club 5. American Beauty

Pumpkin Maze