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Oconee Leader - Letter From Collette King
Oconee Leader - Letter From Collette King
Oconee Leader - Letter From Collette King
Our Ryan was a happy, carefree, goofy, but loving 14-yearold high school freshman. He was one week away from becoming a sophomore. He maintained As and Bs, without studying and loved his soccer team. I have never seen him upset over anything for more than a day. We had to be on his case a lot because he was a little too much of a free spirit. He would forget to do his chores daily, leave wet towels on the floor (everyday), and leave food throughout the house. This was just the tip of the iceberg. It sometimes drove us crazy. It all seems petty now. His good qualities so outweighed the negative ones. He was so kind, loving, generous, funny, and full of life and laughter at home. Everyday, we said I love you and hugged each other at least twice. Yes, everyday.
Editors Note: It is our policy, as it is the policy at many other newspapers, not to report on suicides except when they are done in a public place or by a public person. Nevertheless, the following letter was written by the mother of an Oconee County High School freshman who died two weeks ago from a self-inflicted wound. We expect our readers will find her words difficult to read, though we are humbled by her strength and the conviction of her message.
I am begging any family who reads this to sit down together and have a family meeting. Please let your children know that suicide is never a solution. Every problem, yes every problem, can find some sort of resolution. Suicide will only cause waves and waves of torture and pain for countless others.
the phone, his friend called on another line and said he really needed to speak to Ryan. In less than 30 seconds our lives would be shattered. After calling and calling, Ryan never answered. So I went down into the basement to search for him. What I found would forever change my world. I screamed and went into shock. I knew he had already left me even though I prayed the ambulance would just hurry and possibly bring him back. Oh my God, how could this be real? He just wouldnt wake up. How, how, how? Why? Oh Jesus, why, why, why? My oldest son came running down as well as Ryans dogs that he slept with every night. I didnt do anything right that night. I should have never let his brother come down to help. I should have never left his side. I should have stayed and begged God to give me just one more chance. I just failed in so many ways; now my sweet boy was lifeless on the ground. Gone, gone, gone. I know most families keep tragic things like this private, especially when that tragedy involves suicide. I know sharing these details is not typical. But quite frankly, I dont care what anyone thinks of our mistakes anymore. I just wish to prevent pain in other families. We have tried so hard to raise a good family and been ever mindful of what others thought. We were a little stricter than most families. We tried to do family events on the weekends so the boys would have less time to get in trouble doing things with friends who had little boundaries imposed by their parents. We went to sporting events, movies, camping, church and traveling. Even though our boys had personalities that were polar opposite, we seemed happy. Ryans carefree attitude and general happiness is what makes this so confusing. We thought suicide is what happens to severely depressed people. First they may threaten it, then attempt it (usually for attention), then maybe actually follow through. Ryan did none of those things. He just panicked over a bad situation and according to his friend thought his life would be over. We are still uncovering details to attempt to understand what could have happened in a short amount of time to turn so many lives upside down. In the mean time, I am begging any family who reads this to sit down together and have a family meeting. Please let your children know that suicide is never a solution. Every problem, yes every problem, can find some sort of resolution. Suicide will only cause waves and waves of torture and pain for countless others. Now, here is the important part for you parents. If you want to avoid the blinding tunnel of pain we are in, then YOU too must change. I am haunted by the many times I overreacted to the small mistakes. Please hear me. Not all children are meant to obtain straight As or make it into an Ivy League School or even local college. Every child is not meant to be the superstar on their football, baseball, softball or soccer team. For the love of God, let them play sports because it can be a great bonding experience and exercise. Please praise their efforts and let the coaches tell them what needs improvement. Be a supporter not a critic. Please dont encourage and want them to be a popular kid. Luckily, we never did this, but many parents do. Instead, have them search out
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