Failed Proposal By Matt Ammar, Greg Weinriech, Michael Canas, & special guest writer Hannah Poploskie

(C) 2013

Matt Ammae 1 Streamwood Irvine, CA, 92620 (714) 499-8006

SCENE EXT. RESTAURANT/JOSHS HOUSE JESS is sitting at a fancy restaurant, waiting impatiently for her date, JOSH, who is about 45 minutes late. The candles are melted, a basket of complimentary bread, and empty wine bottles are on the table, as the WAITRESS walks up to JESS table. WAITRESS More wine for you and your *ahem* "date?" JESS What are you implying? WAITRESS Nothing, but the bartender is considering adding you as a special since you contain 90% of their stock. JESS Can you just bring me some more wine, please? WAITRESS Very well, madame. JOSH then bolts in, panting, disheveled, then sees JESS sitting at the table. JOSH Sorry Im late baby, you wouldntJESS Sorry? Sorry! Josh, cant you, just for once, try to be on time? We live in Southern California. You should take that into account and take the initiative to get off your ass, and leave earlier! You know how much that irritates me! Beat. JOSH then pulls out a wilted, broken, sad flower. JOSH But I got you a flowerJESS slaps the flower from JOSHS hands.

2. JESS Fuck your flower. Im going to go powder my nose. JESS exits to the bathroom. JOSH sits down at the table in the chair opposite JESS. JOSH turns toward the audience, and takes out a small box. JOSH Well, I picked the wrong night to propose. JOSH opens the box, and views the engagement ring that lies within. JOSH then closes the box, and tries to focus. JOSH Alright, Josh. Breathe. You had this night all planned out. What were you gonna say? JOSH closes his eyes, and overacts the scene he thinks will soon play out for him. JOSH Jess, baby, I know we havent known each other for a long time, but, believe me when I say, that meeting you on OKCupid was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. JOSH continues to recite his speech, eyes remaining closed, as the WAITRESS returns to the table, and is intrigued by JOSH. JOSH Well, the thing is, when I look into your eyes, and youre looking back in mine, everything feels... not quite normal, because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited but at the same time... terrified. The truth is I dont know exactly how I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be. Its like Ive reached the unreachable and wasnt ready for it. The WAITRESS, on the verge of tears, covers her mouth happily, thinking JOSH speech was for her. JOSH, eyes still closed, goes on one knee, not knowing the WAITRESS is right in front of him, and opens the box to reveal the ring to her.

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JOSH Will you marry me, baby? WAITRESS Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god! Yes! JOSH opens his eyes, and immediately jumps up to protest. JOSH Wait, theres been some sort of mistakeThe WAITRESS throws the wine she had in her hand up in the air, and goes in to embrace JOSH. At that moment, JESS exits the bathroom, and gets the WAITRESS thrown wine in her face. JESS Goddamn it! I just powdered this! JESS returns to the bathroom to re-powder her nose. WAITRESS This is all happening so fast! I have to call my mother, get a dress, laugh at my father for doubting this day would come! Oh, this is so exciting! JOSH Im sorry, miss, but that wasnt meant for you. Plus, I dont really date girls with... dead-end careers... The WAITRESS goes from giddy, back to icy. WAITRESS Ill be back with some wine. JOSH I didnt order any wine. WAITRESS Its not for me, its for me. The WAITRESS exits. JOSH Maybe thats too much.

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JOSH looks around, then takes the ring and puts it under JESS napkin. JESS then returns from the restroom, and sits down at the table. JOSH has, by this time, grown incredibly nervous. JESS Hey, Josh, sorry about earlier. I guess that wine to the face cleared me up a bit. I just get so goddamn aggravated when youre late! AnywaysJOSH interrupts JESS and points to the bread. JOSH You want some bread?! JESS Whoa, calm down, there... but yeah, bread sounds good. Anyways, did you want to talk about something? Usually restaurants like this are for special occasions... JOSH Lets talk about your dad! JESS Um... okay? My dad? JOSH Your dad, my dad. Dads all around! JOSH laughs nervously, JESS grows more confused. JESS Alright, well, where do I start? Growing up, I had a dad, but its not like he was ever there. Then, a few years ago, he got his act together, and spent more time with my and my family. Its kind of a long sob story. JOSH I know plenty of those. My dad was never around either, always claimed he was going to work, or going hunting or something, excuse of the week with this one. We found out he was sleeping around, and my mother divorced him. Havent really talked to him since, all I know is he (MORE)

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JOSH (contd) settled in with his other family. I guess he doesnt have time for us anymore... JESS puts her hand on JOSHS. JESS and JOSH share a moment, then JOSH snaps back to the matter at hand. JOSH But, yeah, you, uh, have a little something there, its kind of embarrassing, you wanna wipe it off with your napkin? JESS becomes irritated again, and fists the napkin with the ring in it, and wipes her face. JESS Oh, saw-ree! You really know what to say to a woman, you jerk! JESS then throws the napkin and, unbeknowest to her, the ring, over her shoulder. The ring then lands at the feet of the WAITRESS, who looks toward JOSH. JOSH Excuse me. JESS Whatever. JOSH walks toward the WAITRESS. WAITRESS Are you trying to mock me? JOSH No, but since you have this, can you slip this into her glass of wine? WAITRESS As you wish, sir. The WAITRESS walks off and reluctantly does her task. JOSH returns to JESS, and lifts up a menu. JOSH So, you ready to order? The WAITRESS enters with two glasses of wine, JESS with the ring in it.

6. WAITRESS Two drinks for the happy couple. Yay. Im surprised we had any wine left. The WAITRESS then exits. JOSH Cheers! JESS rolls her eyes, and her and JOSH clink their glasses, and JESS begins drinking. JOSH watches impatiently, as JESS does not notice the ring at the bottom. After a few long seconds, JOSH frustratedly tips the glass so JESS can see the ring. JOSH Here, let me help you with that. JOSH simple gesture causes JESS to choke on her wine, and the ring. JOSH gets up to preform the Heimlick as JESS gags. During the Heimlick, JESS caughs out the ring, and JOSH catches it, and gets down on one knee. The world stops turning, JESS eyes filling up with tears, and puts her hand over her smiling mouth. The WAITRESS returns to watch. JOSH Baby will you, um... marry me? JESS Of course, you idiot! JOSH and JESS kiss. WAITRESS Ill give it three months. JOSH and JESS dance romantically to beautiful music, probably from the 80s, as the stagehands turn the restaurant setting into that of JOSHS bedroom. JOSH and JESS go onto the bed, and go under the covers and "do it," the blanket mving around giving that effect. After a few seconds, JOSH and JESS emerge, hair messed up, JOSH shirtless, and JESS in her undershirt/bra. JESS I cant believe this is happening to me. I cant wait to tell my family. JOSH I still cant believe I havent met your parents yet. Is that weird?

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JESS Not really. Im sure theyll love you, Josh. JOSH Who do you look more like? Your mom or your dad? JESS Oh, here, I think I have a picture of them. JESS pulls out her phone, and searches around for a picture of her family. JESS I always get that I look like my mom, but I dont know. Here we do. JESS shows JOSH her phone, and points to each of her family members. JESS Theres my mother, and my sister. Oh, and thats my dad. JOSH chuckles to himself. JESS smiles, confused. JESS What? JOSH Youre kidding, right? JESS No, thats my family. My mom, sister, and my dad. JOSH Youre obviously mistaken, because... thats my dad... JOSH and JESS come to realization, smiles disappearing from their faces, and the two look out towards the audience. Lights out. END.