TOPIC: Conflicts that arise due to ineffective listening.

"LISTENING SKILLS "

Introduction :
Communication is at two way procedure of transferring meaning from one person to another . The two people involved in this process are " Speaker " and " listener ". Both the people are equally important in the procedure. Listening is a very important aspect of communication. The attitude and the interest of the listener signifies whether a speaker should continue his speech or not .

The first animated video clipping created by ADHD clearly elaborates the concept of poor listening and how much it can effect a relationship. It should be kept in mind that the relationship can be personal ( husband - wife , brother - sister , parents - children ) or professional ( employee - employer ). Whereas the second video shows how the customer and seller relationship can be destroyed by simple listening flaws. The video clips chosen show the conflict that arises between a farmer and the owner of a yard and shopkeeper and customer on the basis of poor listening skills which resulted in a severe reaction by the owner in the first clip and shopkeeper in the second.

In reference to Video clip :

The video starts when the owner of the yard tells the farmer to mow everything in the yard except a particular spot the farmer interrupts by saying that he would mow everything along with the spot then the owner tries to explain again not to mow only that spots the farmer again listens wrong and says that he would mow only that spot . The owner gets irritated and now when he again tries to explain by saying that mow everything around the house but.......... the farmer interferes again by saying that now he has understood he will mow the whole house . In the end the owner loses his patience when due to language barrier the owner asks for the keys and farmer thinks that he needs a kiss. Poor listening leaves a bad impression on the mind of the owner and he assumes that if he has such poor listening skills he would definitely fail to accomplish the assigned task on time . Thus the owner gets so much angry that he fires the farmer from the job . The second video clip demonstrates how dangerous poor listening can be . The clipping starts when a customer enters the shop meanwhile he is talking to his friend on phone . he says to him that he is being robbed , the shopkeeper misunderstands him and thinks that he is a robber. Without letting the customer justify his point he directly starts beating him badly .

INCOMPLETE STEPS OF LISTENING :

ATTENDING : In spite of the fact that the listener looked physically and mentally present in the clipping and there was an adequate shift from listener to speaker the listening process failed on the inappropriate reaction of the farmer . The farmer reacted and replied to the owner of the house before letting him complete his sentence . As a result the farmer misinterpreted and

misunderstood most of the ideas delivered by the owner. Same is the case in the second clip where the shopkeeper reacts before listening the whole conversation.

UNDERSTANDING : In the whole communication the farmer constantly failed to understand both the verbal and non verbal q's that are said to be the basis of any communication . The verbal q's remained in understandable due to language and cultural difference between the two individuals. For example the farmer could not understand the facial expressions of his employer when he was explaining him which area not to mow. He also failed to understand the content and feeling of the conversation. The listener of the second clip also did not understand the full communication and directly jumped to a conclusion.

EVALUATING : Due to the language and cultural differences . The farmer could not understand what the owner was trying to convey hence he could not evaluate what the owner wanted from him . He could not separate facts from the conversation Example when the owner asked for the keys he again misinterpreted what the owner meant . In the second clip both the individuals were strangers there were high chances of being distrusted .

The conversation in both the video clips collapsed as all these steps which play an integral part in the listening process were missing . Presence of the above mentioned steps could make the conversation more effective and would not have ended up in a conflict or severe reaction by both the speakers and listeners. As we all know communication is a two way process there are certain barriers that automatically result in failure of listening . The things that fall in this category are as follows :

BARRIERS OF LISTENING :
The barriers of listening that are present in this clipping are as follows : Physiological Barrier Environmental Barrier Faulty Assumption Socio Cultural Behaviour

Physiological Barrier : There are various parts in this clip where the farmer interrupts the owner by expressing the rapid thoughts that come in his mind instead of letting the owner speak first . For example when the owner was trying to tell the farmer not to mow a particular part , the farmer did not let him complete and interrupted by saying that he would mow that spot. Where as in the second video the outside noise must also have affected the listening .

Environmental Barrier : In the whole clipping the owner was trying to deliver a number of messages to the farmer this was one of the major cause that made the listening ineffective . He told the farmer not to mow a spot, to mow the yard and he also handed over the keys to the lawn mower . This would have created confusion and would have resulted in message overload. In the second clip it was quite difficult to make out that the customer was busy on phone as it was not visible enough this would have left a wrong impression on the shopkeeper.

Faulty assumption : After watching the whole clip we could not say that the farmer was only responsible for the ineffective listening that resulted in a conflict both the individuals were equally responsible. The owner could not deliver his ideas in a reasonable manner, his hesitation and poor speaking skills was one of the main reasons of the confusion created. For instance in the whole clipping he was unable to deliver a simple idea to the farmer. If he would have been patient in delivering the idea , the conflict would not have risen. In the second clip the shop keeper assumed wrong and without letting him speak he reacted severely.

Socio Cultural Behaviour : The farmer with his appearance looks like an Asian or African while the owner looks like an American citizen . Both the culture vary a lot , the mode of conduct is English which is understandable to both the individuals but due to the difference in pronunciation of words the listening became in effective . For example when the owner said "keys" it sounded like "kiss " to the farmer. "Jesus " sounded like cheeses to the farmer.

All these barriers were responsible for the ineffective listening that ended up in a conflict and the farmer was fired from the job and the customer was beaten by the shopkeepers.

CONCLUSION :
Listening is a cognitive process of receiving and constructing meaning and then responding accordingly through verbal and non verbal messages but this process may ultimately collapse if any of the steps of listening are missing or due to barriers same was the case in this clipping where due to certain factors the listening process failed . This may have extremely dangerous after affects and result in severe conflict and hatred . People often decide to kill each other on basis of such misunderstanding and poor listening . In such cases the communication shall be verified again and again and preserving relationships should be made the priority . We all should follow the following steps to avoid such conflicts.

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