My name is Rose Winters, and from the day I was born, I was blessed with the three words

every child yearns for... I love you. These were written on a locket given to me by my mother, hung around my neck at birth, just before she died. Cos the birth was so traumatic. Growing up alone with my father, each day was a struggle. Even though I constantly fought for his love, he blamed me for my mothers untimely death and used to put cigarettes out on my bare skin. It hurt, a pain that ran deeper than skin. He hated me and when referring to me in conversation called me the reverse abortion. To my face he called me mother killer. He called me a bitch. He called me a dipshit. He called me a lot of names I have since repressed. From the age of 14, I was put in the psych ward. My father told me it would heal the sickness of my mind. But it didnt and I remained evil in his mind. Three years on, at the age of 17, I am just trying to fit in at high school, but the more I try, the more I fail. Everyone knows my sickness, it becomes more apparent every day, and I am avoided like the plague. Standing at 5 9 its not even like I can hide away, especially with my burning red hair that doesnt so much fall down my back as spring out my head. Like my hair, my life is just as untameable. It may come as no surprise to you, but I have never had a boyfriend. Or even so much as been kissed. I am a Total. Virgin. Feeling alone comes naturally to me, and if theres one thing in life I excel at, its my ability to hide away. Today its the trials for the cheerleading team and its compulsory to try out. Last year my tampon fell out during a jump, and now they call me Carrie. It was like Id given birth to my own social death, this little block of bloody cotton, dropped to the floor as if from an unclenched fist, and rolled away, a bloody trail that lead me to the beginning of my end. From that day on, I never forgot my spankies again. At least I have lit class straight after. Mr Solace has kind of been like my mentor. Im... pretty good at writing and hes been giving me extra curricular work. Im so excited to be back working with him again. Sometimes, and I know this sound strange, but it feels like hes the only one who cares. Hes like the father I never had. And mother I sorely missed. Even though I never knew her. September 1st Cheerleading trials went horribly. I cracked my coccyx doing a cartwheel when I landed in the lap of the deputy headmaster. He was not amused, but maybe a little aroused, but everyone knows hes a total pedo, so like, whatever. My dad said I was a whore and I deserved a broken coccyx like what I did to my mother, and refused to take me to the hospital. So, once again, I had to do self surgery. Lets just say, this is not the first time Ive reconstructed my hymen. Needless to say, I wont be making the team this year, but, at least thats the last time I have to go through that torture. Once again, I made lead tuba in the school band. Im worried my retainer will come out if I blow too hard, and get stuck in the tuba again, but the conductor promised hed make me a smaller hole. Weirdly, Mr Solace wasnt in today, which totally bummed, since hes the only good thing about school, or even my life. Weve been promised a cover teacher in the meantime, and Im a bit nervous but, since Im good at the subject, hopefully itll be okay. September 2nd

Mr Solace is dead. Wtf. Hes like the only good thing I had in my life. And now the only good thing I had in my life is dead. Goodness is dead. Just like my mother! The word at school is that he apparently he hung himself because he was gay and in love with a student. I cant imagine what it must be like, to love someone so truly that you cant have because society says its wrong. Poor Mr Solace. At least now I can rest with the knowledge that hes sat with my mother in heaven watching my life unfold. But you know what kids are like, Im hoping hes just on extended vacation, after all the new guy has yet to turn up. I have yet to make friends, or even speak to anyone. The only contact I have made with another human being, is when Tod the school hottie and well-known bad guy with his posse of sycophants tripped me over purposely as apparently its funny. Not to me. Everybody laughed, and I just lay there, humiliated my lanky limbs all tangled on the floor. I was so embarrassed I was paralysed on the spot. I just wanted to die. I finally understood what Mr Solace had felt like all these years. Unless hes still on vacation. Amidst the tormenting ringing of laughter I heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching, getting louder and louder until it stopped. Then the laughter stopped. I was face to face with the most gorgeous italian leather I had ever seen. Curious, I slowly looked up, a beautiful suit hung from well defined muscular legs... and yet more legs. And, this guy was tall. And had a lot of legs, eight, to my count. I must have been hallucinating with concussion, before I knew it I felt the strong grip of male hands hoisting me up off the ground. The contact was like none other I had ever felt. My body trembled under his touch and even though it was so brief, the feeling lingered on my skin. A blush crept upon my face as my body pressed against that of this handsome stranger. I finally got up the courage to glimpse upon his face. Such beautiful white skin, deepest black hair and most piercing intense green eyes. A green that was so vivid, so pure, it seemed so unnatural, but so inviting. The way he looked back at me felt... strange. No one has ever looked at me this way before, so intense was his gaze I completely forgot myself; the humiliation I went through moments before. He was just so beautiful, too beautiful. And before I knew he had been holding me, he had let me go. A chill instantly ran down my spine as he nodded, turned on his heel, and disappeared into the crowd. Luckily I remembered to breathe, otherwise I probably wouldve got brain damage from the lack of oxygen combined with the concussion Id sustained moments before. For the first time in my seventeen years, I felt like a woman. Who was this dark mysterious stranger? And why was I so affected by him?