Ralphs Continuing Education in Texas Holdem

Ralphs disappointment with my advice regarding the play of 10-6 off suit lasted about 24 hours. Before I could get his full attention again, I had to promise to move him from his regular seat to my immediate left and give him two mint girl scout cookies. Having regained his confidence, I tried to supplement some of last weeks information with a bit of supportive detail. Every tiny bit of equity you can carve out of a game in which luck plays such a large role increases your chances of positive results over time. There are a large number of voluntary and involuntary behaviors that can work for and against you depending on how they are managed. Put ten chimpanzees, prairie dogs or poker players together and in almost no time you will notice the formation of alliances, subtle exchanges of information and favors, and the isolation of a player who demonstrates offensive characteristics. If you feel awkward check-raising your best friend or trying to steal the blinds from a pretty girl (common practice with regular girls) or a guy in a wheelchair, congratulations, you are a viable member of your tribe or herd. Ralphs impatient expression told me he was beginning to find this behavioral psychology class tedious and I had better get to the point. When I sit at a table full of folks with whom I have little or no history, I pay a little more attention to the players to my left.1 For instance, I offer sympathy for a bad beat or congratulate a win by saying nice bet or well played. I never say nice hand since it is my habit to avoid praising someone for something over which he has no control. That comment plays feebly better as sarcasm. I once sat to the right of a guy with an obviously Irish name, and even though I am only 25% Irish, for the next two hours he showed many hands that solidified a brotherhood that would be untainted by dirty tricks or deception. Ralph was frowning at me as if to say sure, how often does this papiermch friendship actually bear fruit? How often does it have to work before you nibble a little extra value out of your position? Sometimes, nearby players envy the blossoming fellowship and start sharing their information. The trick is knowing what behavior is most likely to harvest useful data while not giving away much. Its possible to charitably reveal your most transparent designs while concealing the unfriendly ones. Obviously, it would be unwise to show your new buddies how you bluffed them out of a pot. It would break the spell. The next time we gathered for our weekly game, Ralph had moved one seat to the left where he would not be affected by my proximity. Within one orbit, I heard Ralph say rough to Ryan, a bespectacled misanthrope who is unaccustomed to sympathy for bad luck when he endures a suck-out. Ryan seemed to be the object of Ralphs temporary affection so my lecture was heard after all. No more than five minutes had elapsed before I heard a loud slurping
1

To a large extent you are vulnerable to the decisions of the player to your immediate left and decreasingly to subsequent players in order until the advantage dissolves and turns in your favor.

noise to my left. There sat Ryan, contemplating his protruding abdomen as a pendulous gobbet of drool fell from his glasses to where his belt would have been. Ralph had licked him so enthusiastically that he dropped his cards on the floor. Ralphs literal interpretation of my counsel made us all aware of Ryans persistent need of a shower. There are apparently borders which need not be crossed, even in the cause of cultivating a temporary friendship. Remember, as you reflect on the potential obsolescence of this article; you cant change your nature, but you can manage it.