Are you done? Kris asked. I looked at my reflection in the antique mirror and nodded.

My eyes were still red, swollen and teary as a waste of last night cry. A tear dropped, rolled down my right cheek. Kris was standing right behind me, wrapped his hands around my waist and stared at our reflection. He scented my long wavy hair and wiped my tears with his palm. Dont cry. Past is the past. Kris said. He was emotionless. I was thinking of he ever feel so bad when his best friend died. I rested my head on his chest. Gege, you look so handsome in black, I said between sobs, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He barely smiled. Maybe I praised him in a wrong time. Today, we were dressed in black. Someone has left my life. Someone who I love so much, I mean WE love so much has left us. I wrapped my arms around his left arms and let him led me to walk. He glare at me and smiled to comfort me. He handed out a handkerchief. Wipe your tears. Its not nice for a wife to cry after headed out from a room with his husband. He whispered to my right ear and put a straight face. I nodded and wiped my tears off. Kris opened the door and led me to his car. We made our way to a cemetery. We remained silent on that day. It is not the first time silence has filled our day since we got married last month. Kris has completely changed from a warm-hearted person to a cold person. He ate whatever I cook and had never complained, but he never TOUCHES me. Su-yee, its not that.. I.. dont like you. Its just.. I feel so awkward.. he stared straight into my eyes. His orb and cold stare were mesmerizing which I like the most. My face fell due to his confession. He was awkward, so do I. Its always awkward to marry a person who I didnt love. I mean, LOVE. He took me by the hand and we walked towards a grave. I looked up to search the sky. It was gloomy, sort of the add-ons to our emotions on that day. I tightened my grip to his arm, my lips trembled, longing for a calming kiss. Kris ducked his face and leaned to kiss me. I didnt avoid him so his lips crashed onto mine. His lips were soft as ever. He tried to deepen the kiss, but I pulled away. Gege, its not nice. Tao will get jealous. I pouted and shrugged. I dont care He snapped but he didnt turn to kiss me. We were in front of Taos grave. My dry eyes became wet again. I looked up to see Kriss face. He was holding something behind his cold eyes. He caught my eyes and we exchanged look. Its time to do as what we promised, Su-yee. He said seriously. There was no joke in his eyes. I was wondering he still could be so strong. It has been a month since Tao left us, and he still never and now his eyes were not teary. I nodded and he left as I moved forward. I couldnt stop my tears. For me, life is cruel, love is cruel. *Why must You took Tao? Do You love him so much that You have to make my life turned miserable? I loved him more than others could think of! And this is what Ive got!* Mentally, I was bashing the fate. I kneeled down to the ground and keep calling his name. Tao, you are the cruel moron! I still owe you some confession! I shouted. Everyone eyed me including Kris. Hey, Su-yee. He squeezed my shoulders and helped me to stand up. He pulled me closer to his chest, and drown my face. I was crying my heart out in his chest, making his black shirt wet with my tears. I hit his chest lightly. Su-yee, please stop. People are watching and its not nice to cry your eyes out. His family is eyeing you. Kris tried to comfort me. I was back in my sanity. Kris pulled away and cupped my cheeks. Su-yee, listen to me. We will come here after a month. Ill take you here. And you can do whatever you want. Not in front of his family He wiped my

tears with both of his thumbs. Cant you see my lover died, you moron?! Hes your bestfriend! I cried again. He hugged me tightly so I would keep quiet. Su-yee, remember to control your emotions. Kris remarked from my back. I nodded lightly and stared at the gravestone. *No. I shouldnt stare there* I thought. So I looked away from it. Yah.. Huang Zi Tao! You moron! . I just want to tell you, yes. I married him. I do what you told me to do. But you moron, you didnt even think of us ! You know, I still remember our first date. Do you still remember? No you dont. I glanced once at Kris at the back before I tried to continue. Tao gege ! It is so beautiful! Its my first time to see this beauty! I shouted as I spread my arms wide. Han River night view is just so amazingly beautiful. Tao chuckled at my reaction. He quickly wrapped his long strong arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. Su-yee, consider this as our first date. I want to be together with you, even on the most tiring day He pulled me away and hugged me. I pulled away the hug and wrapped my arms around his neck and his arms were around my waist. His cute charming eyes and icy cold stare drown in my eyes. I couldnt even catch my own heartbeats, they went too fast. Tao, I love you, I said, with my eyes were tearing up, touched by his endless love. He caressed my cheeks as he smiled sweetly. He leaned down and crashed his lips onto mine. I responded as best as I could. It was my first kiss witnessed by the night view of Han River. Tao, remember when we first met? You were silly! I almost got hurt! I rubbed my right arm. The memories of the first meeting between Tao and me shoved into my mind. My eyes started to tearing up. Tao was really good in martial arts. He seemed so rough. I was taking part in wushu and had a friendly fight with him. He flew his kick and his kick slammed my arm as I tried to avoid him. I fell down rubbing my hurt arm. He gave his signature smirk and helped to get up. Newbie, huh? He said with his charming eyes gazing at my arm. I nodded slowly. Hi, nice to meet you. Im Huang Zi Tao. Just call me Tao He held up his hand but he took it back as he saw my painful arm. Im Kway Su-Yee I smiled as I introduced myself. He looked startled. Wow you are Chinese but you are living in Seoul? He led me to a backstage. Because it was only me and him were only Chinese in the Wushu class in Seoul, we were getting closer. Do you still remember when I sulked because you refuse to dance with me in a ball? Instead, I danced with Kris ! Andand I still keep the birthday present. Look! I held up a Panda flush toy. I held back my tears. I tried to smile. Tao must be really sad to see Im unhappy. I..II still remember you like to drink Starbucks coffee. And.. You know I dont always prefer the coffee. Remember when you bought me that Mocha? I was really hyper because of that drink. Remember when I said, I dont like aegyo? You always do that bbuing bbuing! Itit..was scarybut still cute. I wiped my tears with a handkerchief that has a panda cartoon drawing on it. It was given by Tao, too when I lost my handkerchief. I wiped my reddened nose with the back of my hand. My lips were trembled but I tried my best to smile. You should have told me Who am I to you?!! I stared while shaking his shoulder. He grew thinner since he was diagnosed with lung cancer. His bright charming eyes were damp; his plump lips had turned pale. He never told me, maybe never think of it. Perhaps it is my fault not to try to find out. I put the blame on myself. Su-yee, we are in his ward, not his home. Calm down Kris held my arm and

rubbed my back gently. I looked at them both. My eyes were filled with rage and tears. Im sorry, Suyee. I just knew itand I asked Kris gege to Kris shot him a look. I knew it even before he voiced them out. JUST SHUT UP, TAO. Im meaningless to you. I cried and beating myself mentally. Kris hugged me from the back. It was such a dark situation. I looked away avoiding his face. Su-Yee, I have something to show you, he said and showed his trademark bbuing bbuing. His bbuing bbuing was really weak, but I pretended to like it. Then, I shoved off from the room without Kris to let Kris talked to him. Tao, suddenly I remembered something again and its surely made me laugh! I said, with a bright smile, and I wiped my wet cheeks. I almost giggled but it turned to be hiccup from the crying waste. It was one of another weekend, bright sunshine heat up our atmosphere. Kris, Tao and I were at an amusement park. Waaaaa!!! Look so exciting!! I clung onto Taos long arm and leaned my head onto it. I let him led me. I looked at Kris, he was totally emotionless. I wondered what was on his mind. Kris gege, smile a bit! You will look more handsome! I praised him hoping he will smile. Kris gege, stop acting cool Tao murmured. Kris shot him a look. I didnt, he remarked. Then lets go to the Haunted House ! It would be interesting !, I shrieked but Taos bright expression faded. Kris calmed Tao down. In the Haunted House, Tao was holding onto me and keep squeezing my hand until we got out. I laughed at Taos face expression; his face was white, pale and his signature panda eyes came out. Baby, I didnt know you are afraid of ghost, Tao pulled away from me and hugged Kris. Tao.. Its just a fake ghost They look so real ! AHH!! Tao.. Its not real. They touched me! NO!! Gege, I can feel them. THEY ARE REAL! Err.. Su-Yee, go buy him something to eat Kris ordered and I ran off to buy some food. I saw Kris was hugging Tao and rubbed his back gently to calm him down. When I came back, Tao was back to his sense. Tao baby, here.. Your favourite coffee I handed him a coffee drinks. He sipped it by the straw and planted a kiss on my cheek. Eww what is that?! Its sticky, Tao! I whimpered. Tao laughed at my reaction. Thats called, COFFEE KISS He smirked. Kris rolled his eyes. Your face was totally white. Same as when I last saw youIm sorry Tao. I couldnt.Tskk.. I cupped my mouth from sobbing even more. Cold breeze blew up and flew my hair from covering my wet cheeks. Remember? You were not handsome at all. You were weak ! Lying on the bed and begging for me! I was holding my tears from falling. Just after Kris got out from his ward, Taos parents came from China entered the ward with the doctor. We couldnt let ourselves to watch him dying and it should be that way since we werent allowed to enter the ward. After a few minutes, the doctor came out with a dark expression, and followed by Taos parents with almost-same expression. I knew it. Miss Kway, Mr Wu, Im sorry. The doctor tapped our shoulders with both of his hands. I kneeled down, without blinking my eyes. I lost him. God let me borrow Tao for only one year and He took him back. *Tao, I havent had enough of your love* I

couldnt hold back my tears any longer as I saw his parents were sobbing over his death. If only I knew it would turn like this, I wont even hurt him and I will keep smiling for him although I knew Id lose him. I stood up, glanced at Kris. He remained cold but more silent. I couldnt see his tears. I ran towards Taos parents and hugged both of them. Im sorry, Su-Yee. I should have told you. But Tao His mother couldnt continue her words. Kris came over and hugged both of them too. Soon, Taos mother gave us two letters for us respectively. Tao wanted you guys to read this. Please consider the content of this letter as his last wish. Please. I trust you, Kris and Su-Yee. Mrs. Huang said before left. Kris. I think Im done, I turned away to search Kris. Kris came over and squeezed my hands. Stand here, I want you to hear everything, Kris pulled me to be by his side. His tall body shadow covered the gravestone. Kris inhaled deep. His cold eyes stared straight to my eyes, almost killing a heartbeat, and nodded slowly. Hey buddy, are you happy out there? Kris started to talk. His voice was so deep and shivered. His eyes were searching for nothing. He was speechless but he had something in his mouth. Tao, were doing fineand.. look, she is happy now.. Kris added. I remained silent and keep nodding. Gege, this is my girlfriend, Kway Su-yee He grabbed my waist and introduced me to Kris. Su-Yee, this is Kris. My best best best friend ever! His innocent eyes curved due to his innocent smile. I smiled and shook hands with Kris. Pfftt it was the first time you introduced me to Su-Yee. But I met her before you, and.. I fell in love with her since that Kris confessed, finally. I widened my eyes in surprise and looked at him. We locked eyes and his lips were pressed thinner. You didnt tell me earlier. I said, pouting. I wasnt brave enough, he answered, looked away to avoid my gaze. Stop acting cool, Kris. Im so hate it, I snapped. He turned his face to look at me and pulled me closer. He ducked his face and leaned closer. Our nose brushed against each other. His orb was too close with mine, my heart thumped thousand times and his lips brushed against mine. I said, not to call me by my name. He warned under his breath. I was startled and I pushed him lightly. Happy birthday, Panda Tao, Kris said coldly. Gege ! Thank you ! I love you, gege! Tao hugged Kris and Kris cupped the back of Taos head and gently patted it. Gege, I want to ask something. Tao said, pouting almost making Kris fell for it. Lets drink this together! Tao brought up a glass of Starbucks coffee. Wait.. Im taking another straw. Kai was leaving but Tao stopped him right in time. Gege, we can use one straw only Tao smirked and smiled like a pervert. Kris rolled his eyes. Because Kris loved him so much, Kris was being so obedient even on the most embarrassing thing. Kris sipped the coffee after Tao did. Yeay ! Now we just had our indirect kiss! Tao held his hand high happily. Kris was startled but he was happy to see Tao was happy,too. I love you not only as friend, but more as a brother, Tao, Kris continued. His eyes were deep and softened. There were tears in his eyes but he strongly held back the tears. I have lost a brother who always depended on me, clung on to me, gave an innocent smile even when hes hurt. I lost a little brother who loves me so much that I couldnt any man who loves me more thatyou, Kris finally weakened and his tears dropped, making his plump cheeks wet. I didnt bother to wipe them. I let he cried as long as he could.

Because I love you, I keep my promise. We both keep our promise. We did what you have wished for, Tao. We love you. Kris shifted his gaze towards me. I looked back and smiled. Kris took my hand and squeezed it. Tao, we got married. Im married with Kris. Now you can be happy out there, I said, tightened my grip onto Kriss big hand. Tao, gege is wondering how did you find out that I love Su-Yee.. Kris paused and looked at me. Yes, Tao. I love her but I believe no one would love her more than you love her He continued. My eyes poured a few of teardrops. Dear, Kris. Its Tao! Its me, Panda. Im sorry I couldnt hold on longer. You knew me right?Im scared of losing and being a burden to her. Thank you, Gege. Thank you for keeping this from Su-Yee and took care of her as long as I wasnt able to be by her side. I want to see her happy and I know you are the one who would able to. I know you love her, Gege. Now, Im gone. Hehe your rival is lost; its your turn now. Please take care of Su-Yee. Please, gege. Marry her a week from now and make her life as heaven, not full with verge of tears. Goodbye,Kris gege. Love, Tao, Kris crumpled the paper and almost tossed it away. But a ring dropped from the envelope. It was a wedding ring. Kris tears fell down. Dear, Su-yee. Your reading this letter, means.. Im gone forever. Im sorry Im not strong enough to tell you the truth. You know me. Im weak at this. But still, you love me endlessly. I want you to be happy even after Im gone. Dont be sad or I will cry in heaven. I wont be alone. Pretty angels will accompany me. *Mehrong!* Su-Yee, I love you and always love you. *Bbuing Bbuing* I know you hate this but I love it! Su-yee, Im not strong enough to write longer. You know, your happiness is my happiness too. I want you to be happy with Kris gege. Accept his proposal. Marry him and be happy with him. Please, baby.. Its my last wish. Do it if you love me, ok! Sometimes you dont need the person that you love to be happy; you need a person who loves you. Goodbye. Love, Tao. I folded the letter into the envelope and insert it into my handbag. Su-yee Kris called from my back. I searched his eyes. We both know what we should do, Kris I said. He kneeled down, and held up a wedding ring towards me. Its not a suitable time, and Im doing this because of Tao. Marry me, Su-Yee He proposed with a straight face. Stop acting so cool! I do, Kris I hugged him. Marrying a best friend is not a bad thing, isnt it? I said between the hugs. He nodded. Dont call me by my name. Call me gege. He said firmly. It was better than marrying someone you didnt know. Tao did sacrifice a lot, right? Kris pointed out. I giggled at his words. What so funny? he asked. He sacrifices for you, Kris gege. He loves you more than anyone would. You are like his brother. Maybe Im the one who should die and let you marry him, instead., I added. Kris rolled his eyes and snorted. He loves you too, and he wanted to see your smiling face rather than your verge of tears. He added again. I pretended to smile but he caught my fake smile. Not a fake one. Kris snapped. I made a face. I wasnt able to get closer and our friendship still, really awkward. We hugged each other but now its different since I knew, Kris loved me. I should have noticed from the start, but what can I do, I was in love with Tao. Tao is gone. I have Kris and he has me as his wife. Kris tightened the hug and kissed my forehead. It was so calm and full of love. Maybe Tao was right. Sometimes you dont need the person you love to be happy, you need the person who loves you. Kris, I will try my best. Tao, thank you for sending me this perfect angel to protect me. , I mouthed under my breath. Tao, I will protect her and will take a good care of her as long as Im alive Kris whispered. Kris pulled away his hug and leaned closer to kiss me. I kissed back without hesitant and wrap my arms around

his neck. I love you, Su-yee Kris hot breath filled my ear. I smiled and kissed him back. W-wait, Tao will get mad, gege I pulled away his kiss. Pfft..hes dead. Anyway, he said he wants us to be together, aight? Kris reminded me and lightly poked my cheek. I was speechless and Kris pulled me closer, crashed his lips onto mine again. This time, his kiss was deeper and he was like he wanted to show Tao how he loves me. His lips traveled to my jaw line and I pulled away slowly. Kris, its not nice.. People are watching. I blushed. Kris made a face and his cold stare shivered my body. He picked me in bridal style and went to the car. I never touch you.. But today, seems like Tao had given me his permission,