AN OAF OF AN EXECUTIONER

Written by Pizzagu6767

FADE IN: EXT. MEDIEVAL TOWN, GALLOWS - DAY A crowd of boisterous peasants gather in anticipation in front of the wooden stage. Two guards hold a CRIMINAL, hands bound. Beside them, the noose dangles. GUARD #1 A moment, ladies and gentlemen, the executioner will be here soon. VOICE IN THE CROWD Hes always bloody late, the bastard! The crowd shouts louder, angrier. INT. THE INN - SAME TIME A burly, six foot man with big arms and a thick neck, FRANZ (25), lays on the ground in a puddle of vomit and beer. A young woman, beautiful dark hair and dark eyes, MARIA (19), runs over to him, drops to her knees, shakes him awake. MARIA Franz, Franz, get up you oaf! Franz opens his eyes, takes a minute to orient himself, then sits up. FRANZ Ive done it again haven't I. Maria pulls him up with all her strength, wipes his chest with a rag. MARIA Go! Go! Theyre all waiting! Fool! Franz sits down in a chair by the fireplace. FRANZ Think Ill just stay ere. A bit too much dismemberment last night. It was horrible. I hate workin the dungeon with Gundrid. I cant do it.

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Maria sits down on his lap, kisses his cheek. MARIA If you head down to the gallows right now, Ill sneak out to Lohmeyers field after dark, and you can meet me there, and we can do whatever we want. EXT. GALLOWS Franz bursts through the crowd, stumbles onto the stage. VOICE IN THE CROWD Bastard! Franz smiles and waves, bows, and goes to work on the prisoner, situating the rope around his neck. Once finished, he stands back next to the lever. FRANZ (nonchalant) By order of King James II, this man has been sentenced to death for the murder of Mr. Peslier, and the theft of his donkey. May god have mercy on your soul. Franz pulls the lever, floor drops, prisoners neck snaps, crowd murmurs. Off to the side, Franz spots a fat, bearded man staring at him deadpan. This is GUNDRID (40). INT. DUNGEON, TORTURE ROOM - LATER Brick walls, candle light, and lots of torture devices. A large wheel with hand straps and feet straps, knives, torches, axes, and a big water tank. Franz sits on a wooden stool, Gundrid paces back and forth in front of him. EXT. LOHMEYERS FIELD - SAME TIME Maria leans against a barrel of hay with a wine bottle in her lap.

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INT. DUNGEON, TORTURE ROOM GUNDRID If you keep a crowd waiting like that one more time, Franz, Ill remove you. Theres a dozen, maybe two dozen young, strong lads out there that can take your job and do it on time! Why shouldnt I give it to them, Franz?! Franz glances out the small window. FRANZ Never again; honest. Gundrid shakes his head. GUNDRID If you think Ill give away my Maria to an oaf like you, hah. Franz looks crushed. FRANZ You gave me your blessing--! GUNDRID Before I realized what kind of man you are. FRANZ Give me another chance, please! Gundrid stops pacing, looks at him with a piercing stare. EXT. LOHMEYERS FIELD - LATER Franz jumps out of the corn, lands right next to Maria. She throws the bottle at him. MARIA What kind of woman waits for two hours in a field for her man?! Not this woman. Never again. She storms off. Franz watches her go, sits down, defeated. EXT. LAKE - NIGHT Franz stands with the water at his waist, finishes off the wine, tosses it behind him.

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FRANZ You have to do it. You have to be better. A long beat. He takes a deep breath, plunges under - a silent beat - he resurfaces. INT. DUNGEON, TORTURE ROOM - MORNING Gundrid opens the door, reveals Franz inside, torturing a scary-looking man. Gundrid nods, impressed. EXT. GALLOWS Franz stands by the noose as a crowd just starts to form. INT. DUNGEON, TORTURE ROOM - DAY Franz cranks the giant wheel, tearing a man apart. EXT. GALLOWS A prisoner sobs, bent over a log. Franz decapitates him with a massive sword, the crowd cheers. Maria, watching, smiles. Franz picks up the head, pumps up and down. EXT. GALLOWS Franz pulls the lever, a prisoner drops, neck snaps, crowd ROARS with excitement, Franz prances around like a real showman. INT. GUNDRIDS HOUSE - EVENING Gundrid, his wife, and Maria sit around a wooden table eating bread. A KNOCK on the door, Gundrid answers, reveals Franz, holding some flowers. FRANZ If I may, Id like a word-GUNDRID Say no more. Gundrid turns to Maria, waves her over. She smiles, runs out the door and into Franzs arms.

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Over her shoulder, Franz looks at Gundrid. He nods. Franz mimes thank you. EXT. LOHMEYERS FIELD - NIGHT Maria takes a sip from a wine bottle, dances, spins around, sees FRANZ On his knees, holding a wedding ring. FRANZ Maria, will you marry me? Maria jumps on him, MARIA Yes! Yes-yes-yes!! Franz yelps with joy, swings her around, kisses her passionately. INT. LOHMEYERS HOUSE - SAME TIME LOHMEYER (65), an odd-looking farmer, watches the two, smiles to himself. LOHMEYER Lucky bastard.