I still can't believe I'm standing here in my living-room the day before my wedding and look at him in the

sunlight. He was the last person I expected to be standing in front of my door when I opened it only an hour ago. First I was in shock. Angel and sunlight just didn't mix. The moment he said my name I realised it was really true. He was standing there and by taking a closer look I saw the pulse at his neck. That was the moment I fainted. I woke up only five minutes later on my sofa with Angel's concerned gaze looking down on me. God, I wanted to drown in his eyes. It's his eyes I never forgot all those years. We haven't seen each other for years and I forgot about his touch, about the cool texture of his skin, about the spiky look of his hair, I even forgot his voice, but never, not one second I forgot his eyes. "Angel," was the first word I said. I know it sounds pretty stupid saying something so obvious. I mean, we both know his name, but it was the only word that came into my mind. And of course he said something equally stupid. "Buffy." God, I want to die. Nobody says my name the way he does. It's not really saying my name, it's more like a spoken caress. As if he wants to show me all his love and devotion with this one word. And it's also always a bit hesitant, as if he isn't sure how I would react on seeing him. Years ago my heart began to race in my chest when I heard his voice like that. Years ago my face would've lit up in seeing him. But today I was only angry. "What do you want?," I ask rubbing my forehead while I'm sitting up. "Careful," he says and reaches for me, but I hold up my hand. "No, don't touch me," I look at him and stand. He does the same. "I repeat my question. What do you want?" He takes a deep breath and I can see the wariness in his eyes, the struggle in him as he fights to find the right words. "If you want to tell me you're human," I say cooly, "I've already realised that. That's the reason I fainted. It was quite a shock. It's certainly nothing I ever expected to happen. Although I have to admit I dreamed about it." After a pause I add, "years ago." He looks at me and my words don't seem to surprise him. As if he's expected me to say exactly that. I sigh inwardly, because I forgot how well he could read me. It was hard to surprise Angel. "Still," I continue, "it doesn't explain why you're here. Didn't Cordy tell you that I'm going to be married tomorrow?" "Yes," he replies quickly. "She did. That's one of the reasons I came today. I wanted to wait for another week to be certain about," he gestures at himself, "about this. Me being human that is." "I see. Well, actually I don't. Because I don't understand what's so important about it." God, I want to cry, you hurt me. You left me and now you act as if nothing has happened. Go to hell! "I ...," he hesitates and takes a deep breath, "I'm not so sure myself why I came. After all - as you said - you're going to marry tomorrow. You l-love your

fiance. Probably very much," he looks at me with an expression of hope. "That's right," I say and can see him flinch. Good, I hurt you, I think. And see, I don't even care. I'm so over you Angel and I'm going to show you. I don't need you anymore. You can't hurt me anymore. And the same second I know what a damned liar I am. "I see," his voice is hoarse and he swallows hard. "Well, maybe I ... I better go then." "Maybe." God, I've really learned my lesson. I never thought I could act so cool. "Alright then ...," his hand is at the handle of the door and he is about to open it. I release a breath when he suddenly turns around, "Buffy, I.." I raise a brow, "Yes?" He shakes his head and steps closer again, "No," his voice is firmer now. "Of course I knew why I came. I was stupid enough to walk away from you once, but not again." He takes another step towards me and I back away. He stops too. "I love you Buffy. I love you, I never stopped." I can only stare at him. "And I love Brian," I reply, amazed that my voice is so steady. When I see all colour draining from his face I want to feel something like triumph but all I feel is pain. God, Angel, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you I want to shout, but can't do that either. So I'm just looking at him. "I'm sorry," I hear him whisper and I can see he's fighting with tears. He runs a trembling hand through his hair. "I ... I really shouldn't have come." He shakes his head unhappily. "I didn't know what I expected. Maybe nothing. Maybe ... maybe everything," he shakes his head again and an unhappy laugh escapes his throat. Then he moves to the door again but turns towards me a last time. "You know when I learned about the fact I would become human one day I had the funny idea you would be there waiting for me. Seems I was wrong again." I can feel my anger rising, "Years? You knew this for years? Well, maybe if you'd taken the time to inform me about it I would've had a chance, but you told me to move on to find someone who could take me into the sunlight. And I did. So don't you dare accusing me for it." I take a deep breath, I don't want to shout, I don't want to show that his presence still throws me. I don't want to analyse all those things I begin to feel again right now. No, stop, I don't want to. Go away! I almost miss the expression in his eyes. It's something I've never seen there before, something like betrayal. I don't understand it and I don't want to. Angel isn't important for me anymore. It's over and I love Brian. I'm safe with Brian. My heart is safe. He won't break it. He loves me. "It isn't really important anymore," he says finally and his voice sounds incredibly tired. A ghost smile crosses his features, "Be happy, Buffy. It's all I ever wanted." Again this unhappy laugh and I my gut twists painfully. It makes me physically sick seeing him hurting like that. "Well, probably not true. There's a lot more I wished for, but," he shrugs, "we don't always get our dreams come true." "No, we don't," I agree. I love you, I want to cry, stay, take me in your arms, but I say nothing. I want to reach out and touch his face, want to take him in my arms to make this expression go away, but I do nothing. I can't. My heart is broken. Maybe it will never heal. My trust is destroyed. Not that he ever trusted me. I wasn't even important enough to tell me he would be human one day. Why on earth am I whining for him. That stupid bastard. God, I wish he'd never come back

from hell. No, no, no, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I look up and he's gone. Again he didn't say goodbye. He's not good at that. Probably he just doesn't want to say it because it's final. And for the first time I see that he probably never wanted to go away from me. He only did it because he didn't have a choice. Well, that's fate. Isn't it? But something else is suddenly clear in my mind. I take a deep breath, take my keys and leave the house. ***** It's morning already. The morning after the day Angel came back into my life. The morning after he just expected me to fall into his arms. Didn't he? The morning of my wedding to Brian. The wedding that will never happen because I called it off. We, Brian and I had a long night, talking, crying, holding each other and finally reaching an understanding. We parted as friends, at least I hope we did. I can't be sure because he's hurting right now and I am too. Because I loved him, but not enough. The moment Angel stood in my doorway I knew it. And I hated and resented him for it. Because one look at him shows me I will never be free of him. Never free for the life he once wanted for me or said he did. That doesn't mean I'll go back to him. I just decided that marrying Brian wasn't reight either. I might still love Angel, but I can never trust him again. I sigh inwardly, I will probably end up alone, but it's better than to pretend a happy marriage. I let myself into the house I share with Willow. She's probably bouncing up the walls right now because she can't find me. Ever since I told her about the wedding the word excited doesn't even begin to describe her behaviour. So I'm really surprised not to find her. "Willow?," I ask into the silence and realise it's only seven in the morning. The wedding was scheduled for two in the afternoon, so she's probably asleep. I tiptoe to her bedroom and knock. When I hear nothing I enter, no need for her to get up when there's nothing going to happen. I just want to tell her she can stay in bed and sleep. But she isn't there. I shake my head and smile when I see some papers that have fallen down. Sighing I bent down to pic them up and lay them back on the desk when my eyes fall on a letter that is between others. It is as if someone has punched me right on my solarplexus. Breathe, I order and try to fill my lungs with air, breathe Buffy. It's a letter from Angel. A letter he wrote years ago. A letter he worte to me. A letter I've never seen before. I shake my head to clear my mind. This has to be some stupid nightmare. I will wake up any minute and nothing of that has happened. But of course I know it's real. Of course I know the letter is right in front of my eyes. My legs are weak and I sit down on the edge of Willow's bed and start reading. I feel my eyes water after the first two line but I don't care. My mind is blank and yet racing. My whole world comes tumbling down in this moment. It was like when I found my mother the day she died. If the hellmouth would open right now I wouldn't care. On the contrary I would welcome if it swollowed me. Then this pain would stop. "Buffy?," I hear my friend's voice. My friend, that words echoes in my head. I know her almost half my life, she was my best friend and now I realise I never knew her. "Buffy," she smiles at me when she enters her room. "You know that bride and groom should spend the last night ...," her words die on her lips when she sees

my face and the letter in my hands. "What is the matter? Did something happen?" She asks concerned and I want to kill her. God, I never felt so much anger and hatred in my whole life. "Brian? Is Brian alright?" I look up and wonder if she can see all those emotions in my eyes. "Brian is fine." My voice is so cool, I can't believe what a good actress I have become. But then it's not really a surprise. "What are you reading?," she asks. Trying to suppress my anger, not willing to show how much she hurt me, I get up and stare into her eyes. I know these eyes like I know mine. These lying eyes of my so called friend. "Why?" She's confused. Oh, the lying bitch is confused. "Buffy?" So I just start to read, "My dearest Buffy," I look up and see understanding dawn in her eyes. "Sounds familiar?" I ask and see a hand fly to her mouth, while tears well up in her eyes. I continue reading and my voice raises with each word. "I'm not really sure if I have a right to write to you at all. But there's something occured in my life, something so fundamental I feel you have a right to know. As surprising as it seems there's a prophecy mentioning the vampire with a soul. Wesley translated it for me. And Buffy, I don't know if it's fair to even tell you because I don't want you to get false hopes. I told you to move on, built a life for you and I still do, but, well ... this prophecy says I'm going to be human. There's no way we can know when or if this is correct at all, but it's the first time in my life I have hope. Real hope that this miserable exsistance will end some day. And somehow I felt you should know. Please, Buffy, I don't expect you to wait for me. Oh well, I'm a liar, of course I do, but I know I have no right to. This is probably not fair, telling you about something that might not happen during your lifetime, but still I think you should know. Because I respect you too much, to keep it from you. Love. Always. Angel." I take a deep breath when I finished reading the letter aloud. and stare at her. "Any comments?" I ask. "Buffy..." I interrupt her angrily, "How could you dare? The letter is dated nine years ago, Willow. He wrote it to me nine years ago. How could you keep it from me? You had no right," I cannot stop the sob that escapes my throat. "God, he probably thought I didn't care at all. How could you?," I shout. "But you read it," she argues. "Nobody knows if this might come true at all. I just didn't want to see you hurting." "It wasn't your decision to make," I reply and walk out of her room and into the kitchen, knowing that she'll follow me. "You were with Riley then. You were happy. He had no right..." "Happy?," I spite the word into her face interrupting her again. "And who are you to decide what right Angel had and what not. Who are you to control my emotions. Who are you at all, I wonder?" "I'm your friend," she replies without hesitation. "No," I shake my head. "I thought you were my friend, I thought I knew you only to realise I don't know you at all." I throw the letter into her direction and it falls down to the floor. "He wrote it to me to show me that he still cared. That I was still important to him and you took it away from me. It wasn't enough for you to push me towards Riley, was it. You needed to keep him away from me too.

You decided what would make me happy. How dare you?" "But you are happy, Buffy. You love Brian, you told me so yourself," she says while her tears run down her face. I can see she's hurt and confused but I don't care. "Because you left me no choice. Oh, you were good at it. I have to give you credit for that. In the end I really believed to marry Brian was what I wanted. But newsflash, the wedding won't be. I called it off. Brian and I talked and we agreed to be just friends." "W-what?," willow stutters incredolously. "Yes," I say and feel good. This decision was mine. "Angel came yesterday. And you know what. I threw him out of the house. Not literally of course, but I hurt him. He came to tell me he loved me and I ...," I cannot speak anymore. The image of Angel's face, his eyes full of pain, is in my mind and again I want to slap Willow's face. She should've been there and seen what she did to him. To us. I take another deep breath, "Why did you do it, Willow?" "Giles and I thought...," she starts and I interrupt her. "Giles? He knows about that," I point at the letter on the floor. "He knows too?" I shake my head, "Who else knows, Willow? Xander? Anya? Riley?" She looks down and then back at me, "Xander knows," she finally admits. "But we really thought it was for your best. Riley said it too. We all felt you couldn't deal with it at that time." "Yeah, sure. God, Willow, I really thought you were supportive to me and Angel. I can probably understand why Xander didn't tell me or Giles, although it doesn't make it right, but YOU! You really fooled me. You lying bitch," there, I said it and it feels good. Oh, it feels so good. "Buffy!," her eyes are widened in shock. Of course, I never talked to her like that. "Oh, stop it, Wills. I'm not impressed anymore by those wide eyes and that innocent look of yours. I don't care anymore. And I can also see it's partly my fault. I mean, I was just blind. If you would've really been my friend you would've tried to help Angel and I. You would've tried to find a way to remove the clause in his course but instead my friend learned to make roses fly through a room. God, I was really stupid. I didn't earn anything else." "Buffy, please," she reaches out with her hand to touch me, but I back away. No way I'm going to let her touch me. "Buffy?," we hear a voice from downstairs and I can feel all the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. "Ah there you are," Giles enters the kitchen and looks at us. He hesitates seeing the expression on our faces. He has a key to our apartment, because he and Willow are seeing each other. It was hard for me to accept that my former best friend saw my former "father", but I got through it. I didn't try to interfere with their lives. "What happened?," he asks. Slowly I turn around and see him flinch at the look in my eyes. "You just came at the right moment," I say, my voice low. I bent down, pick the letter up and hold it out for him. "Willow just told me you knew about this too." He takes the letter from me and after recognising it he nods. "Yes, I do."

"God, you don't even pretend to be ashamed," I shake my head and leave the kitchen because it feels overcrowded all of a sudden. Walking into the living room I can hear them whisper and then follow me. "Buffy you have to understand," Giles begins, but stops when he sees I hold up my hand. "I will never, do you hear me, never understand." I whirl around, "I know you hated him. I know you never forgave him for what he did to Jenny although it wasn't really him. But I now also understand that you're jealous of him. Because there were times I trusted him more than you. But I would've never guessed you would do something like that." I point at the letter again. "I can almost see him writing it. The uncertainty, the doubts, the hesitation at each word. But he wrote it nevertheless. Can you imagine how he must have felt when I never wrote back or called. He must have thought I didn't care at all. How could you?" "But Buffy, whatever we did. You have to see the whole picture," he argues. "Whatever happened, it brought you here, to a wonderful relationship with Brian, a man you are going to marry," he looks at his watch, "in about six hours." "No," I shake my head. "The wedding is off. I won't marry him, because I will never love him the way he should be loved." Giles stares at me. "B-but..." "Yeah, but," I laugh sarcastically. "Is it a surprise for you? And I thought you'd know me and love me like a daughter. What a joke!" "But I do love you," he protests while Willow is following our conversation with an unhappy expression. "If you were my real daughter I couldn't love you any more." "Then it's maybe good I'm not, because this way I can just walk away and stop caring. If I was your real daughter I would try to get a blood transfusion to get your scent off me." I see him flinch and I know it was cruel what I said, but I'm beyond caring. The door bell rings and Willow goes to open it. I almost laugh when I hear Xander's voice, "Hi Will. I went to Brian," he says. Sure he did, he was meant to be his best man. "And he tells me the wedding is off. What's going on here?," he asks when he enters the living-room and looks at me. But I'm surprised to see the person who's with him. "Hi Xander. My friends all together." I never thought my voice can sound sarcastic like that. "We have a little chat about a certain letter I never got. Willow tells me you were in this game too." Then I turn my head towards the second person who came, "Hi Cordy." She nods in reply, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't understand what's going on. "Letter?," Xander asks with a confused expression in his eyes and Giles hands the paper over to him. Instantly he knows what I'm talking about, but what he says is the most surprising thing I ever heard, "I'm sorry." "What?" I stare at him. "For years I was inwardly discussing if we did the right thing keeping this from you. I never felt comfortable about it. I know it's no excuse and the fact you were finally happy with Brian made me believe it wasn't completely wrong. Still, if someone would've done that to me I would be ready to kill them." He takes a deep breath and gives me a sheepish smile. Xander, the only one I wasn't really surprised being in this, apologizes. Xander

feels sorry, Xander feels it wasn't right, while Willow and Giles, the ones I thought of being supportive tried to defend their actions. My world really turned upside down. My gaze wanders to Cordy but she holds up a hand, "Hey don't look at me that way. I wanted to murder you when you didn't reply. I knew he wrote to you, he told me. And he was devastated when you never wrote back, never even called. I wanted to tie him to his bed when he decided to come to Sunnydale after your mom died because I thought he didn't owe you anything. Only to find out you never had a chance to read the letter." She turns and glares at Willow and Giles, somehow she seems to feel the same as I, that Xander already understood what he's done. "I cannot believe you guys. What do you think you are. The Powers That Be?" Suddenly she shrugs, "On a second thought you might be. They certainly know about torture," she touches her head and I don't understand what she means but the way she looks at my ex-friend and my ex-watcher tells me that she has no love for the Powers. She looks at me again, "I came to kill you, you know," she says but smiles. "He came back yesterday. To L.A. I'm really glad he isn't a vampire anymore, because I'm sure he would've welcomed the sunlight this morning. And I wanted to kill myself for being so stupid to push him to go to you." She sighs, "But now I know better." "Is he still there?," I ask, suddenly not caring anymore about my so called friends. Suddenly I realise what's important in my life, what I have to do, where my future is. "Sure," she nods. "Probably brooding in his room." She reaches in her purse and tosses me her keys. "That's for the hotel entrance," she tells me. "I'm not sure he'll answer the door. Good Luck." "Thanks, Cordy," I say and squeeze her arm. "You're a good friend." "Of course I am," she smiles back. "He's like the brother I never had." My eyes are cold when I look at Willow and Giles, "I don't want to see you again. I will try to find a new apartment soon and then I'll get my things." I don't look at Xander because I'm not sure about my feelings towards him at the moment. It's not so clear. Closing the door behind me I hear Willow ask, "What do you mean Angel's no vampire anymore?" * Closing the entrance door behind me I look around. The Hyperion Hotel. I knew that Angel moved in here some years ago, but I've never seen it before. It's dark everywhere and I realise that everything is still vampire-proof. But somehow I'm not really interested in my surroundings at the moment. Silently I tiptoe through the hallways to find Angel's room number, Cordy has given to me. Reaching it I shortly discuss to knock but then decide against it. Inside it's dark and I can see his body sprawled on his bed. He still wears the same clothes he did when he came to see me. It brings tears to my eyes. God Angel, I want to say, what have I done to you. But I don't. I just step nearer and then sit down on the edge. "Buffy," he says, his eyes still closed. "What do you want? I thought we said everything yesterday." That throws me. He can still feel me. Only now he opens his eyes and looks at me.

The expression in them almost makes me cry out in agony. I want to touch him, I want to say I'm sorry, but instead I blurt out, "I never got that letter, Angel. I only found it this morning after I decided not to marry Brian. Buffy and Willow and Xander decided to keep it away from me. You know, the letter you wrote me about you becoming human one day." I can see him taking a deep breath and sit up on the bed, but he doesn't say a word. He just keeps staring at me. And suddenly I know exactly what I want and what is important in my life and I decide there's something about pride, but sometimes it's strongly overrated. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I never stopped loving you too," and lock my teary eyes with his. "I'm sorry too. For too many things to mention," he finally says. He reaches out to touch my hand and it hits me like lightning, but I don't pull away. I want to feel him. It's so familiar, so Angel and yet so new because he's warm. "There's a lot we have to talk about, Buffy. But first of all I need to know something." He smiles hesitantly and something close to hope enters his eyes, "I want my life to be with you. Do you too? I know there are a lot of issues we have to work through, but I'm also sure we can if we both want." I feel tears again in my eyes, but this time they aren't sad. This time they are happy tears, "Yes," I cry and throw my arms around his neck, sobbing in his shirt. "Yes, Angel, I want my life to be with you. I want to be with you every second of every minute of every hour of a day. I love you, I love you," I repeat again and again. "I love you too," he muffles into my hair and hold me close. I cling to him and for the first time in years I feel home. END

Buffy woke up disoriented and confused. It needed some minutes for her to recall the events of the previous day and to realise she way laying in Angel's bed with the very man, emphasis on the word *man*, beside her. They were still fully dressed, yet they were so intimately entwined that she had difficulties to see where she ended and he began. The last afternoon and evening they hadn't done much more than holding each other and crying in each others arms. There had been no words, they would come, they needed to be spoken, but yesterday had only belonged to the sensation of feeling the other close after such a long time. They hadn't made love, none of them was ready for it. It would happen eventually, Buffy was sure of it, but when they would do it they knew it shouldbe unrestrained, it should be open and without limits and both knew that couldn't happen before they hadn't talked and got aquainted to each other again. They had after all not seen each other for more than eight years. The last time he'd come to Sunnydale was to take her in his arms and spend comfort when she was devastated over the death of her mother. He had been gentle and compassionate but somehow withdrawn, and now she knew why. Of course he'd expected a reaction from her after he'd written her about the prospect he might become human one day. She could feel the anger again, slowly creeping up her body, threatening to consume each cell. She had almost forgotten about it in her happiness to be reunited with her one true love.

Almost. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes again. How would she ever be able to look at them again. The knowledge that Riley had known about it wasn't something she would dwell on. Their relationship, if you could ever call it one, was over for years, in fact she hadn't heard of him since the day he'd left Sunnydale for good. And contrary to everybodys expectation she hadn't missed him one minute. She admitted that he had been the right guy at the right time, maybe had been even good for her as long as it went, but the moment it was over, it had been over. But Giles, whom she'd loved like a father, Xander, whom she'd seen as a true friend these were the betrayals that cut deep, that seemed unforgivable. Xander at least had admitted it had been wrong, had seen his fault. But it hadn't made him tell her the truth either and so she wasn't really sure how she felt about him how. Still it was Willow's betrayal that hurt most. The trusted friend since her teenage years, her roommate, the shoulder to cry on, the person who knew all her secrets, the girl that had held her the night Angel had told Buffy he would leave Sunnydale. The person she'd believed to understand what was between her and the ensouled vampire, this person had gone behind her back, withheld something so profound like Angel's letter. Buffy didn't even want to begin to think what would've been different if she'd had the oportunity to read it all these years ago. She didn't know if it would've changed the fact that she'd slept with other men. No, probably not. After all she was a normal young woman, no rewind that, healthy and young, but not normal, certainly not normal. Anyway. She'd enjoyed having sex and she knew that Angel would've expected her to live her life to the full, not to hold back to wait for a dream that maybe wouldn't come true at all or at least not in her lifetime. But she was absolutely certain that she'd never had encouraged Brian to push her relationship that far and that she'd never accepted his proposal. Brian. His name brought a wave of sadness in her mind. Brian with his wonderful blue eyes and his blonde hair, Brian who made her laugh, who took her into the sun, who accepted the fact that she had a sacred duty. Brian whom she'd come close loving like the man on her side, but only close. And Brian whom she'd hurt. Hurt because she'd believed that there couldn't ever be a future with Angel. So there was another person Giles, Willow and Xander hadn't counted on. A third party that got caught up in their meddling with fate. God, how she hated them. Shortly the thought flashed through her mind if her mother and Dawn had known anything about it. No, not Dawn, because she wouldn't have kept it away from her. Buffy was certain of that. If not for thoughtfulness then for the fact that she couldn't keep a secret, she was even worse than Willow had been at her age. As for her mother. She was dead and it wasn't really important anymore. She didn't want to think that way about the woman who had given life to her and who had gone so early, leaving her with a father who hadn't cared enough to stay longer than a short while. But he was dead as well now and for that she let him rest with the woman he'd never really loved. They belonged to her past and her future was now here with the man who had never stopped loving her, so he'd told her yesterday and whom she loved with every fiber of her body. She had to smile when he began to stir and slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey," she smiled at him, their lips only inches apart. "Hey too," he smiled as well. "Did you sleep well?" "Hmmm," she made and leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips. He responded immediately and the kiss became more passionate in an instant. They only parted when air became an issue for both of them, a fact Buffy thought she had to get used to as to his warm body or the steady rhythm of his heart. She'd fallen asleep with her ear over the spot, savouring the most wonderful noise she'd ever heard. "This is nice," she sighed and snuggled even closer to him. If Angel had to describe heaven he would've just held this very moment. Laying side by side with the woman he loved was perfection for him, who had been in the shadows for more than 200 years. Her eyes were still puffy from the tears she'd spent the day before, her makeup was smeared over her cheeks and her hair tousled but for him she was everything he ever wished for. "What?," self-consciously one of her hands flew to her hair and in memory of the last time she'd woken up beside him, she said, "Not good." He grinned in response, recalling that morning as well, "Still no mirrors, at least not in my suite. But there's one in the bathroom downstairs." He rolled his eyes, "Cordy insisted on it. She said that after hunting ugly, scaly demons she needed an oportunity to make herself presentable again." "I see," she giggled. "Yesterday when I saw her I thought she'd changed a lot, but somewhere deep down she's still Cordy." "Very true," he sighed, but a smile played on his lips. "How's Wesley?," she asked after a moment. "You're really interested in Wesley?," he teased, but sobered, "He's fine. He's become a good friend and has changed a lot. He even got over his crush for Cordelia, who in fact is in a permanent relationship with Gunn." "Gunn?" "I met him," he chuckled, "or better he met me. They tried to kill me. They were a bunch of kids hunting vampires or more likely fighting a war. Then his sister was turned into a vampire and he had to kill her." "Oh God," she breathed with wide eyes. "Yeah. He staked her and somehow he began to tolerate and trust me. When we moved the agency into this hotel they kinda moved in. All the kids who were with him, some of them barely 16." He smiled and pushed a strand of blonde hair from her face. "I had to think about you when I looked at them. The day I saw you on the steps of Hemery when you were called." "And Cordy and ... uhm ... Gunn are and ... uhm ... you know." "Yes," he chuckled again. "And he's not at all what I'd expected Cordelia to date. He's neither rich nor well educated, but he's a good guy and over the years became one of the very few friends I have." "You made some friends in LA, didn't you. Cordy, Wesley and Gunn. Something you never had in Sunnydale." It was spoken casually but Angel could feel the underlying sadness in her words. That he had found something while he was away from her, something she had failed to give him.

Stroking her cheek tenderly he smiled, "There was not one second I didn't miss you. I didn't need to seek for friends in Sunnydale because all I needed was you." The smile she gave him in response told him he'd found the right words to express his feelings for her. Still there was so much more they had to talk about to have a chance to start fresh or as fresh as possible. Slowly and gently he pushed her away from him and got up. "Maybe we should both take a shower and have some coffe and then ... talk?" "Yes," she replied without hesitation, knowing that they needed to do exactly that to find their way to each other. "Well, you are free to use the shower here. I take one in another room. Did you bring any clothes?" "Uhm," she gave him a sheepish smile, "not exactly. I left in a hurry." He couldn't help the happy smile that crept over his face. "You can take some of the spare ones of Cordy's. She keeps them here, well not here," he gestured to his room. "But in a spare room on this floor. It's no. 16 - so just go there and get what you need. It should be about the same size. Well at least you can get some pants and a shirt - I think." "Thanks," she interrupted his nervous rumble. He was cute when he was nervous she decided. But then, when had she ever not thought he was cute. "See you then in half and hour?" "Alright," and with a last smile he left the room. * Half an hour later they sat in the lobby of the hotel, both holding a steaming mug of coffe in their hands. Buffy was the first to break the silence, somehow both of them seemed shy to share the events of the past years. "Well," she gave him a hesitant smile. "Who starts?" "Whom do you want to start?" "If it's alright, I go first. Then it's over and done." She leaned back and began. Telling him about Parker, the feeling of having been used after he'd let her down, about Riley, the man who had let vampires drink from him to get even with her, her two other boyfriends and about Brian. "You would like each other," she said but then grimaced, "if it wasn't for the fact that you love the same woman. But after you he was the best that ever happened to me. And I hated the fact I had to hurt him, even more now that I know I could've prevented it if I had known about your letter." "Buffy...," he tried to interrupt her but she held up a hand. "Don't tell me now that you understand them. Because I know you, Angel. You are able to understand almost everything. And Don't tell me I should forgive them, because at the moment I really hate them. I think I've rarely or never been that angry in my whole life. When I picture Willow's face I want to hit something." She thought for a moment, "Do you still patrol? Hunt vampires I mean?" "No," he shook his head. "Well I haven't since I became human two nights ago. Mostly because I had other things in my mind but also because missing vampire strength is something I have to get used to first."

"We could go tonight. I could stake some ... you know work out my anger," she grinned. "Poor vamps," he sighed but chuckled. "Xander is married to Anya," she continued her story. "But you probably know that from Cordelia. I know she and Xand have stayed in touch." "Yeah, I know," he nodded. "Who would've thought Xander would marry an ex-demon, he of all people." She had to laugh at that, "And Anya is really strange sometimes. But you get used to it ... after years of training. You'll see it when ...," she trailed off and tears welled up in her eyes. "Buffy...," "No," she held up her hand again and angrily shook her head. "I need to get used to it. They don't belong to our live anymore. I will not go back." "You're still the slayer," he reminded her. "I know, I know," she sighed. "And in a case of emergency I can go there but I won't go back and I will certainly not live with Willow again. It's also the best for Brian. He lives there and that way we won't accidently run into each other." She took a deep breath, "And did you know that Giles and Willow are seeing each other. After Oz left, she dated Tara, I thought I would freak out when I realised she had a love affair with a woman. Willow of all people, shy, romantic, lying, false Willow." Her voice had become hard during the last part of her speech. "Anyway. After that she dated one or two guys and it became apparent that Tara was just a one time thing. And then two years ago her relationship with Giles changed. Slowly, gradually and one morning she came back to our apartment telling me that she and Giles had become lovers." Her eyes narrowed, "They certainly have earned each other." She looked up again and into his eyes, "And you?" He shrugged, "There isn't much really. Mostly an every day routine, sleeping during the day or sometimes not, hunting evil at night. Helping some people and these things. Sometimes working with that cop I know. Kate, her name is Kate. Maybe you remember her from ... well, when you came about ... about Faith," he said hesitantly, not sure how she felt about the other slayer now. "Kate was the cop who arrested me." "The one who wanted to give you a cell with a window facing east, yeah, I remember her," she replied sarcasitally. "Not the kind of person I want to be aquainted with." He had to laugh at that, "She isn't really that bad, you know. She went through a rough time. Her father, he had been a cop as well, was killed by vampires. I was there, but couldn't do anything because he didn't invite me in. After that, well let's just say vampires weren't high scoring in her book and she didn't care if they had souls or not." He put his cup down and suddenly stood up, knowing that what he would tell her now he wouldn't be able while sitting. "I went through a rough time as well," he began, turning and looking at her again. "Darla came back." "What?," she stared at him incredulously. "B-but you staked her?" "I know. There's this law firm in L.A. Wolfram & Hart. They were lawyers but their clients weren't the usual sort, if you understand what I mean. More than once our paths crossed and after a while I really seemed to annoy them." He took

a deep breath and began to pace, "They had this box. And with it they could bring a vampire back. So they brought Darla. First I thought I only dreamed about her, but then I realised she was real and what was even more confusing was the fact that she was human." "Human!?," Buffy could barely believe it. "Yeah. I ... I tried to help her. She was confused. She was like me when I got my soul back. I still felt a connection to her. She was - after all - my sire. And I felt responsible, I thought ... I thought I could get her to the point that she would be willing to make amends." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Stopping, he faced her again, "And I was close," he measured an inch distance between his thumb and indexfinger. "But it appeared that she'd had syphilis before she'd been turned. She never told me." He sighed and took his spot on the sofa again. "She had been a whore, I knew that, but what I didn't know was the fact that she was about to die when the Master came to her and changed her. And now that she was human again, the sickness went on. Today syphilis wouldn't be much of a problem, but her case was too advanced. And she was terrified. She had just been resurrected and didn't want to die. She wanted me to make her a vampire again. I refused and finally she was ready to die. But then Wolfram & Hart interferred and found a vampire mad enough to do what I had refused her." "Drusilla?," somehow Buffy just knew. He didn't seem surprise, only nodded, "Yeah. The idea to sire her own grand-sire thrilled her. They made me watch it," He took a deep breath, knowing that now he had to tell her everything, "From there it spiralled down. I almost lost it." Seeing her expression he had to smile, "Not that way. I didn't change into Angelus, but I came pretty close. Do you remember Christmas when the First Evil haunted me. About that close. I ... I don't know," again he ran a hand through his hair. "Thinking about it today it seems almost unreal." He shook his head and let out a short laugh, "Anyway. I became unreliable. I fired Cordelia and Wesley. I did it to protect them, but it was one more reason for them not to trust me. I even let Drusilla and Darla kill a bunch of lawyers of Wolfram & Hart without interferring." "Oh Angel," Buffy reached out and touched his hand, understanding how hard it was for him, because he'd been in possession of his soul when it happened. "Finally," he continued, "I was ready to let go. Nothing was important anymore for me. I wanted to give up and I slept with her. With Darla." He heard Buffy gasp and gave her a loopsided grin. "Yeah. We did it more than once that night. But what happened was soemthing none of us expected. Darla proved to be my salvation. At least for that moment." "I ... I don't think I understand," she said slowly. "How could you?," he took her hand in his and squeezed it. "I didn't understand it myself. When it was over I was still there. I never lost my soul, I didn't even come close. That was the moment I realised I was different. I was not the same animal she was or Spike or Drusilla or all the other vampires. The fact I hadn't lost my soul in having sex with my sire, something I had done countless times before, showed me that whatever relationship we had it wasn't the same what I had with you." Now he smiled. "I was free. Suddenly I was free. God, it felt good. You can't even imagine how good it felt." Seeing her expression, he quickly added, "Not having had sex with her, but feeling free. Darla took my life so many years ago but that night she gave it

back to me. That night she set me free. After that she left and never came back again. I don't know where she is and I don't even care. I'm only sure of one thing. She won't come back to L.A." They were silent for a long time after he'd finished his story, both sipping at their coffees, hanging on their thoughts. Again it was Buffy who spoke first. "Angel, where do we go from here?" "I don't know," he replied honestly. "It's up to you. For me, I can hardly believe you're here with me. Yesterday morning I thought everything was lost and you would be married by now. But you're here. So whatever you want is alright with me." She nodded and became silent again. "I already told you," she said after a while, "that I'm not going back to Sunnydale. Not permanently, that is. I thought about finding an apartment in L.A." He looked at her for a long moment, "Well," he said hesitantly, "you could ... I mean ... apartments are expensive around here and I've got this big hotel. So if you want you could stay here." Quickly he added, "There are many rooms and even some unoccupied suites." She had to smile at the uncertainty in his eyes and the sweetness of his offer, but she could also see hope there. "I would like that," she replied and saw the happy smile that spread over his face, "but I'd rather stay in the room we spent the night in. I kinda like it." "I see," he looked at her, "that's alright," he assured her quickly. "Whatever you want. I can remove my stuff quickly. It isn't really that much, I have no problem with an other room and ..." "Angel," she interrupted him. "It's not what I mean. I was more thinking about sharing it with you." She caught her lower lip between her teeth, "if you want it too, that is." She looked at him expectantly. "Want? Oh Buffy," he took her hand. "I never dreamed ... I mean," embarrassed he stopped and looked down. Taking a deep breath he continued, "I'm making a mess of this," he muttered. "I honestly didn't expect that," he finally admitted looking at her again. "Why ever not?" "Well first of all it's been more than eight years. I cannot expect that we just forget about it and that you fall into my arms and live with me. You had a life going on in Sunnydale and mine was in L.A.," he ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly, "I'm really talking a lot of nonsense today." "No," she smiled at him gently, lovingly. "You make perfect sense. Well, to me, but then we always had something special." "Yeah," he agreed. "And to answer your question. There's nothing I would want more than living together with you. I love you, Buffy Summers, you are my life. And in offering to stay with me you make my dreams come true." "Make love to me Angel, now," she said suddenly, urgently, squeezing his hand. "Are you sure?" "Yes, very sure," she replied without hesitation. "I waited almost 12 years for this. I am very sure and I love you too."

With a swift movment he pulled her into his arms. Both lovers lost themselves in each other. Both knew there were things they had to face soon. First of all Buffy's friends in Sunnydale. And Angel knew that Cordelia would be back soon as would be Wesley and Gunn. But today and tonight belonged to them and to them alone. The world would intrude soon enough. But this time it had to wait. END It had been 24 hours to rediscover each other. 24 hours closed away from everything and everybody, closed away from the world. It had not only been the sex or more precisely making love although they'd done that a lot and in every possible way the last day and night, but they had also talked between short periods of dozing off. The talks had nothing to do with the seriousness of the previous morning where they'd shared the memories of the times while they'd been separated. This time the words were whispered, private words, which brought them close again. Buffy couldn't remember anymore how often they'd told each other 'I love you'. Maybe it was ridiculous to repeat it again and again. Of course they both knew they loved each other but after such a long time apart it seemed necessary to assure each other time and again. However it was, both woke up the next morning with the feeling they did belong to each other again. Buffy was amazed of herself, but she realised it was a proof of their love that it had been so easy to get reaquainted to Angel and vica versa. Even more surprising was the fact that she didn't doubt him for a second. In her phantasies she'd often wondered that if he ever came back how she would react and had imagined to be afraid he'd leave her again. But somehow his letter had erased all doubts. The fact that - although they'd been apart - he'd confided in her that way ... it made her heart sing with joy and love. How could she have ever doubted him. And she suddenly knew in her heart that their separation had been as hard for him as it had been for her if not even worse. Sure he had his friends, but there hadn't been another woman he could've turned to. He had been alone. Alone to face Darla. Her heart ached thinking about it. She wished she could've been with him, although a little voice told her that maybe, just maybe he had needed exactly that, had needed to overcome one of his greatest fears on his own to grow into the man he was now. He had changed so much she realised. Sure he had been uncertain regarding their relationship and so sweet, but it was the way he held himself now, the expression in his wonderful dark eyes, the determination around his mouth. This wasn't the guilt ridden vampire she'd known anymore. This was Angel who had earned his redemption, who had paid his bill, although she was sure that he would never be able to forget and it was good that way, because all these things made him to the incredible man who had blessed her with his love. Something that never ceased to amaze her. She had to smile at that thought when she came down the stairs to follow Angel who had gone ten minutes ago to make coffee for them and find something to eat, because none of them had even thought about it during the last 24 hours. As a result both of them woke up with their stomachs rumbling, a fact that had made them laugh together and made her heart almost burst with happiness. She hadn't felt that good, that free since the night of her 17th birthday. That was almost 12 years ago and made her suddenly realise something she hadn't thought of so far.

So walking through the hall, dressed in his oversized sweatpants and one of his dress-shirts she shouted, "Do you realise that I'm now older than you are. Not really of course, but didn't you tell me you were 26 when you were turned and for this ...," the words died on her lips and a gasp escaped them in seeing the person who was standing right in front of her handling the coffee machine and now smiling sheepishly at her. "Hi B." "F-Faith," Buffy had to clear her throat. "Hi." Her sister-slayer quickly busied herself with the coffee, "Angel's gone to get some dognuts and stuff. He'll be back in some minutes and as I was up he asked me to take care of the coffee." She didn't look up, but her hands stilled, her eyes fixed on the coffee machine as if waiting for whatever would happen to her now. The blonde had to clear her throat again. "This ... that's nice. Thanks." God, she was almost 29 years old and couldn't remember ever having said something more stupid. "What are you doing here? No," she held up a hand. "This is stupid Buffy talking. Sorry. So rewind that. It's obvious that you are living here and it really shouldn't surprise me. Angel always had a thing for you." She had to smile when she saw Faith's shocked expression. "I'm not saying that you have *that* thing. No let's rewind that too. I know you haven't." She took a deep breath. "Let's start again. And I know this is equally stupid, because you're standing right in front of me, but I thought you were in jail." "I'm on parol," Faith replied still staring to the coffee machine. "Oh, I see," Buffy said, then sighed and shook her head. "God, one should think we should know what to say after so many years." Abruptly the brunette's head jerked around and she stared at the blonde slayer, "I ... I'm sorry," she whispered. And then the most unexpected happened, something Buffy felt utterly foolish about, but without warning she laughed. She sobered instantly when she saw tears welling up in Faith's eyes. Reaching out she touched the other woman's arm, "Faith, I'm sorry. I don't know why I laughed. Maybe because I was so tense and am still a bit uncertain although I'm happy too," she took another deep breath, "look at me. I'm a grown up slayer and still babbling as if I'm 15. Maybe ... maybe we could just take a cup each of us and ... talk?" "Talk?" "Yeah, you know, speaking ... words. Saying things. I did it with Angel yesterday and it really helps," Buffy couldn't help but grin. "But ... I never thought you would ... talk to me, that is," Faith's voice was still barely above a whisper and full of disbelief. "Well, now you know better. Do you want? To talk, I mean?" Clearing her throat again the brunette slayer busied herself with pouring coffee in two mugs. "Sure," she tried to sound as casual as possible but Buffy could see the emotions welling up in the other woman. Holding a mug in each hand the brunette motioned towards the lobby. "Let's ... let's go out there. Sitting is much more comfortable over there." They sat down and Faith handed Buffy one of the steaming mugs. "It's ... good to see you."

"Really?" Buffy quirked a brow. "Why do you look at me then as if I came to throttle you?" "I...," the brunette cast her eyes down. "It's still difficult for me to ... to face you." "Why? Because you tried to kill Angel or because you slept with my boyfriend in my body?," she winced realising how hurt her voice still sounded. Damn. And she had wanted to be funny. Big mistake. Seeing the other woman flinch she quickly added, "Sorry Faith, that didn't come out the right way. Truth is, Angel forgave you long ago and if he can do it then who am I not to." She smiled when she saw Faith's head snap up, her eyes widened in surprise. She went on, "And for Riley," she shrugged. "Well, let's just say I found out he wasn't the precious gift he tried to make me believe he was. If it helps you let me tell you that our relationship had a serious blow when he started to let vampire whores suck his blood to feel even with me." For a moment Faith could only stare at her, then she shook her head in disbelief and for the first time something like a smile crossed her lips, "What a sucker." Buffy agreed with a firm nod, "You can say that. He told me I wouldn't love him enough and that he needed that to understand me. And then he made it up to me if he would stay. Xander convinced me that our relationship was worth saving and because I was afraid of being lonely I ran after him and I was desperate after he left, but you know what. It didn't last long. And after a short while I was glad, because he was right, I wouldn't have been able to love him the way he wanted." "Because you'll always love Angel," Faith stated and this time the blonde slayer stared at her. The brunette laughed, "Don't look like that. I've always known it. But you were good in hiding it. Much better than the big guy. When I came here all these years ago, ready to kill him, he helped me. Because he understood, he was probably the only one who could." "I know," Buffy said quitely and a bit ashamed thinking back to that particular day. "I told him I did screw up with you. I told him I slept with your boyfriend and do you know what he said. He was confused and embarrassed and then stuttered something like 'Faith, you and I never...'." She let it stand like that for a moment to see Buffy's reaction. When she saw tears well up in her sister-slayer's eyes she nodded. "Exactly my reaction. I felt rotten because I threw it at him that way. I thought he knew and told him so and he turned away and stuttered even more 'well, that is good, that's what I wanted for her'. And all the time I saw it broke his heart and I wanted to snap my neck because I'd been the one to do it. But he turned around and protected me, protected me even by going against you. Protected me although seeing you that moment after I ripped his heart out must have been so more painful. That was the moment I realised there was something good in this world." "Have you ever told him that?," Buffy couldn't stop the tears that ran down her face. "No," Faith shook her head. "I think he knows though. God, that man is so unreal, but I'm so glad he is my friend." Suddenly uncertain she looked away, "that's at least the way I see him. I know you'll be staying here now and I can go, but that won't change my feelings for him." And then she quietly added, "And I never thanked you for protecting me against those council-guys." Buffy held up a hand, "No need. They were never my friends either. And about ripping a heart into shreds, well, I think I played my part in this as well." She

sighed and sipped at her coffee. "For me staying here." She could see that Faith's eyes were instantly alert, "There is no need for you to go. Am I right to assume you're working for Angel?" "Yeah." "I thought so. And now that he is human he will need any help he can get. And who could help better than a slayer ... or two." "You mean...," Faith tried hard to hide the hope in her eyes and her voice. "I mean maybe after all these years we can try to start fresh if we both want. Would you want?" "I...," the brunette had problems to find her words. "Yes," she said finally. "I would love to, very much." And they both smiled. * Five minutes later Angel entered the Hyperion Hotel again only to find the two slayers sitting together, mugs in their hands and tears in their eyes. Maybe it was a progress that they didn't try to beat each other into bloody pulps, but still, "What's the matter?," he aksed concerned and looked at them. To his great surprise Buffy jumped up, came to him, threw her arms around his neck and caught his lips in a passionate kiss. When their lips finally parted all he could do was say, "Wow." "Did I ever tell you that you are the best boyfriend ever?," she gave him a most brilliant smile. "No," he eyed her suspiciously and looked back and forth between the two slayers, "can somebody fill me in here?" "We had a good talk," Faith replied and then suddenly began fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "and I may have said some things about what a great friend you were and are." "I see," he nodded and gazed at Buffy again. Suddenly he grinned, "oh well, why did I even ask. You can kiss me like that any time." They all laughed when the door opened and Cordelia entered. Her first look went to the couple in each others arms and then at the brunette slayer on the sofa. She raised a brow, "Obviously I've missed a lot. Morning together." "Hi Cordy," Buffy smiled at her. "Good Morning Cordelia," Angel pulled away from his girlfriend and put the dognuts he was carrying down on the table. "If anybody's hungry." The door opened again, "Yo, Angel, just what I needed, man. I'm starving," Gunn grinned at his boss, walked over to the table and grabbed a dognut. "Morning Faith," he greeted the brunette slayer when his eyes fell on Buffy. "Good Morning beautiful." Cordelia shook her head, "Just ignore him. Tact is something he's never been introduced to. Buffy, that is Gunn, Gunn that's Buffy, she's a slayer and Angel's," she hesiated for a short moment and then continued, "girlfriend." "Wow, you don't loose time, do you, Angel," the black man couldn't stop grinning.

"Hi Gunn," Buffy said dryly. "Good to see you've kept your humor after such a long time with Cordy." "No insults please," the brunette ex-mayqueen held up a hand, but she smiled. "I'm much better these days. And about keeping his humor. You should better congratulate me for keeping mine. He was barely house-trained when he moved in with me, I had a hard time." When she heard Gunn laugh she turned towards him, "As for Angel not loosing time. Let me tell you that they know each other a very long time. Almost 13 years to be exact and unlike you he knew he loved her the first moment he saw her." With a smug look on her face she walked over to her desk and began to sort through the mail. The others exchanged glances and bit their lips not to burst out laughing. Buffy was right, deep down Cordelia would always stay Cordelia. Gunn was the first to break the the silence that had settled over the lobby, he cleared his throat, "Is there any coffee left?" "Sure," Faith gestured with the mug in her hand towards the kitchen. "Cordy, you want some?" "Yes," she replied without looking up. Gunn grinned and disappeared from the lobby. As soon as he was gone Cordelia turned around, "Buffy, I had several phonecalls yesterday night and even this morning." She gave the slayer and the ex-vampire a pointed look. The blonde rolled her eyes, "How often?" "Let's think about it, Willow called three times, Giles four and Xander once, but only to ask if you arrived safely as he could see how angry you were. So I told him I saw your car in front of the hotel while passing by." Angel gave her an amused look, "Passing by?" The Hyperion Hotel was certainly not on a bypass from Sunnydale to Cordelia's apartment. The former cheerleader let out an exasperated sigh, "Fine, so I deliberately passed by to see if she was okay. Sue me! After I realised what had happened over there I was glad that she arrived safely." Buffy walked over to her and squeezed Cordelia's arm, realising it was the second time in less then 48 hours she did that. Funny how some people turned out to be friends and others ..., "Thanks," she said simply. The former mayqueen rolled her eyes and sighed again, "Geez, one of these days someone will start calling me St. Cordy. Stop thanking me." She shrugged the slayer's hand off but the look that passed between the two women said that they both were on their way to become friends after all these years. "Thanks," she said then when Gunn handed her a mug. "One question though, you were awafully civil with them. If they'd done that to me I think I would've throttled Willow and Giles. I'm not sure about Xander. He seems genuinely sorry and that's something new for him. Maybe he's grown up after all." Before Buffy could answer, Faith stood up and walked over to the group, "What the hell are you talking about? Throttle Willow? B., I thought you both were inseparable. Is that the reason you came here?" "Partially, yes," the blonde answered honestly and exchanged a glance with Angel. "It appeared that Angel wrote a letter to me some years ago and my so called

friends thought I wasn't ready to read it. So they just decided to keep it away from me. They were all in this, Giles, Xander, Willow, Riley, not that the last one is important, but he knew too." "And how did you find out?," Faith didn't want to sound curious, but damn, she was. "Angel came to Sunnydale two days ago and I was," she looked at him, "I treated him badly. Then I called off my wedding...," "Wedding?," Faith echoed, "Man, it seems there was a lot going on I didn't know about." Accusingly she looked at Cordelia who just shrugged. "Why should I tell any of you? It was the wrong guy anyway," she said with a grin towards Angel, who winked in response. "Brian," Buffy said to nobody in particular, "that was my fiance, was a wonderful guy but as Cordelia put it so nicely, he *was* the wrong guy. Angel's visit made me realise it. So he and I had a long night talking and in the morning we parted as friends or at least I hope we did. When I came home I just wanted to tell Willow that there was no need for her to get up. So I went into her room and there was the letter on the floor," she finished with a deep breath. Angel reached out, she took his hand and he pulled her to him. "And Willow did that?," Faith shook her head. "I always thought she was your friend." "Yeah," the blonde said, her voice hoarse, angrily she realised that again tears were welling up in her eyes. Angel instantly pulled her closer and gently kissed her skull. "Nice friends," Gunn commented dryly and yelped when Cordelia ellbowed him in his ribs. "What?," he looked at her, "I just made an observation. And I say who needs enemies having friends like these." "Thanks, Gunn, we really needed that." The former mayqueen shook her head, collected the empty mugs and disappeared in the kitchen. "Sorry," the black man gave Buffy an apologetic smile. "No," she held up a hand. "You're right," she said and wiped a tear away that had slipped from her lid. "They went behind my back, they betrayed me and Xander was the only one who apologized for it." She had to laugh, "Xander, imagine that. He felt guilty and bad for it. Still, he didn't tell me. So I really don't know how to feel about him." "Let him feel bad for a while and then forgive him," Cordelia suggested coming back, "I think he really, genuinely feels sorry. He even asked me to say hi to Angel from him." She grinned. "Good Morning," came a voice from the entrance. Wesley held two newspapers in one hand and a briefcase in the other. "I see you're all ... Buffy," he stopped seeing the blonde in Angel's arms. To her surprise a smile crept over his lips, "It's nice to see you again. Is it safe to say that you're not married." "No, I'm not," she replied and blushed when Angel leaned over and whipsered 'not yet' in her ear. "I'm happy to hear it," the former watcher stopped and coughed in embarrassment, "I mean I'm sorry, but ..." "We know what you mean," Cordelia interrupted him dryly. "And we're all glad for

Angel's sake," she looked at the slayer, "and for Buffy's. This marriage would've been doomed from the start. And before you ask any more details I will tell you the whole story." She took Wesley's elbow, "Come on, I'll get you some coffee." Buffy's eyes followed them while they walked towards the kitchen, then she turned so that her back leaned against Angel's chest. Instantly his arms encircled her waist. Sighing she snuggled deeper into his body. "Are you okay?," he asked concerned. "Hmmm," she made and gave Gunn and Faith a smile. "You know just two days ago I felt betrayed and desperate only to realise that I have more friends than I thought." "I knew that all the time," Angel replied and she knew he smiled. "Yeah, yeah," she turned to face him and grinned, "I know you were always Mr. Wiseman." "Did you ever doubt it?," he asked and raised a brow. She stood on her toes to kiss him. "Come on, Gunn," Faith took his arm. "Let's join Wes and Cordy. This could easily become x-rated," she said when she saw the kiss between slayer and ex-vampire became more heated. He shook his head and followed her, "And I always thought he was a paragon of virtue." Sighing dramatically, he added, "Seems I've been wrong again." END It was several weeks later when Buffy told Angel about Dawn. Somehow there had never been the time to do it before, never be the right moment. It didn't surprise her that Angel had no idea who her so called sister was. It just told her that the monks hadn't done such a thorough job in installing her in their lives. And obviously the subject of Dawn had never come up during the rare contacts between the gang in L.A. and Sunnydale. She told him how shocked she'd been to find out she wasn't real. How much she got used to the fact of having a sister, how much Dawn had helped her to get over the death of her mother and how betrayed she'd felt when the monks had taken her away after she'd served her purpose. Sealing the Hellmouth in Sunnydale forever. As a result slaying had been much easier there, but still vampires came along and several demons had even tried to reopen the portal to hell. Of course Angel had known about the closing of the Hellmouth. Buffy would've been surprised if he hadn't, but what surprised her was the fact that he seemed to know everything about her life. Looking back she felt a bit ridiculous thinking how she'd told him about the events of her life. But he assured her that there was no need for it. To hear that Spike had told him first hand about Parker was still shocking though. And again she realised how much harder their breakup had been for him. There had been no life waiting for him. He had left Sunnydale expecting to live separated from mankind again. Only the Powers That Be had another purpose for him. Buffy realised that she was almost greedy to hear about all the details and facts in his life. She craved to know everything, not only the general survey. To her great joy Angel never grew tired to answer her questions and step by step they became closer and closer again. Buffy had to laugh when after some weeks Cordelia remarked that she found it creepy the way slayer and ex-vampire understood each other without words. But

besides that the former mayqueen was more than supportive of their relationship and she and Buffy had become close friends. The two couples often went out together for dinner or a drink. Gunn and Angel were close friends as well and Buffy grew to like the black man a lot. He was funny, knew many things and was loyal to the bone. Buffy and Faith took over the slaying during nights sometimes accompanied by Angel who wasn't able to give it up completely but who was reasonable enough to realise that he wasn't really a match for the vampires anymore. Still he was a big help not at least because of his centuries of training and his knowledge that he shared whenever it was needed. So Buffy blended easier than expected into the life in L.A., but still - as much as she wanted to deny it - there was this cut deep inside her heart, the fact that her friends in Sunnydale had gone behind her back, betrayed her. And as hard as she tried the hurt wouldn't let go. It was four weeks after she'd moved to L.A. and another night during which Angel woke her up from a nightmare and held her sobbing form in his arms when Cordelia announced that Xander and Anya would be coming to L.A. the same afternoon. They were all seated in the lobby, drinking coffee and chewing dognuts Wesley had bought on his way to the hotel when the former mayqueen made her announcement. It was done almost casually, but her eyes showed that she was perfectly aware of the fact she'd just dropped a little bombshell. Angel felt his girlfriend immediately tense at his side, the dognut in her hand stopped in midair and her hand froze around the mug she'd been about to take from the table. "Oh fun," Faith said sarcastically, her eyes quickly darting towards her sister slayer. "Yeah, well, what can I say," Cordelia shrugged and exchanged a glance with her boyfriend, who was happily chewing his dognut, completely unaware of the tension that had suddenly settled over the room. "He phoned yesterday night to say he was coming and," she coughed slightly and blushed, "well ... he ..." Gunn patted her knee and grinned, "What my woman wants to say is that the call came in the middle of something very important," he gave the others a pointed look, "so we didn't really pay attention. She was just mumbling something like 'okay' and hung up." "He might have asked if it was okay to come," the former mayqueen admitted sheepishly, "but, well." She gave Buffy and Angel an apologetic smile. "Buffy," Angel took his lover's hand and gave a concerned look, "I can try to get him on the phone and ..." "No," she shook her head and gazed at him, "it's okay." Seeing the doubt in his eyes she smiled, "It really is. I have to face them sooner or later right? And Xander is the right one to begin with. He *was* sorry after all, so he's probably the easiest and I think there's a lot he and I have to talk about." "If you're sure," he said hesitantly. "I am," she leaned over and brushed his lips with hers. "I really am. I knew I couldn't avoid them forever. I know I said I didn't want to see them ever again," she quickly glanced at Cordelia, "but I know it's not possible. I will have to see Giles sooner or later. I mean the moment some demon arrives there he'll probably call. So there's no way to delay that forever. I still don't know about Willow though."

She shook her head and leaned her it at Angel's shoulder, while his arm that was draped around her waist, pulled her closer. "Somehow her betrayal is still the worst. Riley isn't important, Xander didn't surprise me because he always hated Angel and Giles," she sighed, "as rational as he might be, he'll probably never be able to completely lay his problems with Angelus at bay. And Angel still wears the face of the demon or the demon wore his, however you want to put it." They were all quiet for a moment and then she added, "But Willow... I mean she ... she ...," Buffy sighed again and shook her head, "I don't really get it. Why did she do it? Because the letter came to our dorm, so she must have been the person to hide it in the first place." "Maybe I'm not the right person to say this now," Cordelia said after another short silence, "because she and I never got along well, but Willow has one serious flaw." She took a sip from her coffee and went on, "She always want everybody happy around her. She needs the ideal life, she can't stand people moping or grieving. And as much as she's into her witchcraft she'd very much prefer a world without vampires." "You really think that?," Buffy asked after a moment. "Yeah," the former mayqueen nodded. "All her nervous babbling and asking if everybody is happy. The way she hated me for dating Xander because I didn't fit into her private, happy universe," she shrugged. "So she tries everything to make people happy and if they aren't she sinks into serious denial. Just think about it, Buffy, what would've happened if you'd read the letter." "Oh, Cordy, that's the question I've asked myself about a thousand times the last four weeks," the slayer replied with a sigh and put her hand over Angel's that was laying on her hipbone. "Maybe we will never know," the brunette said with a shrug, "but I think Willow was afraid you would begin to doubt your relationship with the perfect soldier boy, be alone and miserable, waiting for your chace with Angel or maybe even dating some guys but never get serious. That's certainly not something she wants in her book of life." "If you ask me, that girl is in need of some serious therapy," Gunn remarked with a shake of his head. When everyone was looking at Faith as if waiting for a comment, she held up a hand, "Don't ask me guys, she never liked me and after she found out I screwed her childhood love ... well, let's just say I wasn't fitting in either." "But she has her good sides too," Buffy almost unconsciously defended her former friend. "She has been supportive so many times. When nobody wanted accept Angel after he came back from hell she was the one...," she stopped and shook her head. "Did I actually defend her?," she asked nobody in particular and sighed. "Well, let's deal with them one by one. I suppose after Xand will come this afternoon it won't be long until the others will appear on our doorstep. * For Buffy the hours until afternoon crawled and she was looking at the clock every five minutes. Angel tried to distract her but he could feel the tension wouldn't let go completely. When finally the door opened and a very pregnant Anya followed by her husband stepped in it was almost a relief. Xander seemed equally tense as the slayer had been the whole day, but he tried to

plaster a smile on his face when he greeted the people assembled in the lobby. "Hey, L.A.-crew," he said and gave everybody a nod but avoided eyecontact with Buffy or Angel. It had been a long time since he'd seen the former vampire and especially after the secret with the hidden letter had been revealed he wasn't sure how to act around him. Still he almost doubled over when his eyes fell on Faith. The brunette slayer chuckled in seeing his stunned expression, "Hi Xander," she smirked. "I bet you never expected to see me." "N-no," he managed to stutter and unconsciously stepped back, bumping right into his wife who glared at him in response. Why on earth hadn't Cordy told him the brunette slayer was now with them. "No need to panic," Faith grinned. "I'm not going to hurt you - yet. Not that I don't think you need to get your ass kicked for what you did to Buffy and Angel, but you at least seem to be sorry." She yawned and stood up. "Somehow I'm suddenly very tired. Maybe I should take a nap." Pointedly she looked at Wesley who needed a second to understand. "Oh, yes," he struggled to get up as well. "I really need to research that demon we were talking about lately." "I think that's our cue as well," Gunn took his girlfriend's hand. "You don't have to go," Buffy said. "Oh I think we do," Cordelia gave her a quick smile. "Maybe we can do something together tonight," she suggested looked to the both couples. "Just let us know. We're at home." "Yeah, well give us an hour or two, then we might not be that busy anymore," Gunn grinned over his shoulder and yelped when his lover punched him in his ribs. Angel chuckled slightly at their retreiving backs while Buffy shook her head, "At least it's never boring when they're around." She fell silent all of a sudden and it seemed as if she'd just now realised that she, Angel, Xander and Anya were the only ones left in the lobby. An awkward silence settled over the room and they were busy staring at the ceiling or their legs, everywhere but in each others eyes. Finally Angel was the one to break the silence, "Well," he said, "why don't you sit down. Can I get you something? Coffee, tea?" "No coffee for me," Anya said gesturing at her protruding stomach and took a seat opposite to Buffy, while her husband sat down beside her. "So tea it is," Angel looked at Xander and when he nodded in confirm he left the for the kitchen. "So how was your drive down here?," Buffy asked to find something, anything, to avoid another silence. "Good," Anya replied, sensing the slayer's intention. More than ten years among humans had shown success and she was almost acting normal now. Almost. "It has to be quite inspiring," she said, "to have a lover that yummy." "Excuse me," her husband stared at her.

"Angel," she said mercelessly. "I mean I saw him once or twice but there's really something to be said about vampires. They're well preserved at least." "Why, thank you," Xander's voice was pure sarcasm. Anya patted his knee, "Don't be hurt. You're still the one I prefer giving me my o ...," the last second she stopped herself and said instead, "I wouldn't exchange you for another husband." Buffy coughed slightly and grinned at Angel who was just coming back with the tea. "Here you go," he placed two cups in front of their guests and settled down again beside his girlfriend. "So," Xander cleared his throat, "You two then?" "Yes," the slayer nodded and snuggled closer into Angel's side. "Did you doubt it?" "No," he shook his head and had to smile. "Not really. Maybe we just didn't want to see it. Maybe...," he stopped and shook his head again, "first of all I think I owe you an apology. Both of you," he added and looked at Angel. "Maybe I just start at the beginning if this is okay for you. I know that you don't need to listen to any explanation from my side, but," he shrugged, "I also know that it doesn't excuse things. Still...," he took a deep breath and suddenly couldn't sit anymore. Patting his wife's knee he stood up and began to pace the lobby. "I have to go back quite a bit with this. Before Buffy came to Sunnydale I was living there like all the others. I knew that something wasn't quite right but I gave in to denial, because I was too young to deal with it maybe. More likely because I was just as ignorant as the others. I mean who am I kidding," he said and gestured with his hands, "I'm the average guy," he grimaced, "or maybe not. Maybe I'm a freak. Who knows." He sighed, "But then one morning I'm on my way to school and 'bang' there she is. I admit that I was an extremely hormone driven teenager, but Buffy on the steps of my highschool was just wow." He had to grin remembering that special morning. "Jesse, Willow and I grew up together," he continued and looked at Angel again, "Jesse was a friend of mine. He and I were close," he had to swallow. "Anyway. He had a crush on Cordelia for I don't know how long and now my mouth was watering when I came across Buffy. We were all loosers, Jesse and I never had a girlfriend and Willow," he sighed again, "she was so shy." He stopped his pacing and faced Angel and Buffy. "And then one night our world turned upside down. This Darla-chick and some other vampires decided to have us three as their midnight snacks, then suddenly Buffy appears and saves our asses." He took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "And then Giles gives us the talk about vampires and the slayer. I couldn't believe it at first or didn't want to. But I knew it was true and what was even worse was the fact that they'd taken Jesse. Buffy and I went to look for him and when we finally found him...," he had to swollow hard. "They had turned him. My friend Jesse was a vampire and in the end I staked him. I didn't want to and it just happened but still..." Xander looked at Buffy for a moment and began to pace again, "From that moment on I hated vampires. For me they were the reason all the horrible things had happened. They had taken one of my two childhood friends from me. The funny thing is," he stopped and looked at them again, "I didn't even realise how deep it went until some years ago when I finally found out how much I loved Anya and how I had tried to deny it because she'd been a demon once."

He took the offered hand of his wife, rounded the sofa and sat down beside her. "I had a long way to go to accept the world the way it was. Where was I, oh yes. So I hated vampires and then Buffy, the girl I lusted after, the hero who went out, night after night, to kill them, fell for one. Again my whole world came tumbling down." He looked at Angel, "I didn't want you there. Partly because I didn't like the competition although I soon realised that I had no chance with her. But it bugged me to no end that I had tried everything to get her attention and you just had to be there and her eyes would light up." He shook his head again. "But mostly because for me you were nothing more than a vampire, the very thing I hated with my entire being. And then I hated you even more because I came to respect you. You saved our lives, you never expected us to thank you and I hated that selfless act of yours. Do you understand what I mean?" "You didn't want to be grateful to something you wanted to hate. You didn't want to see the shades of gray. Oh yes, Xander I understand you," Angel said with a nod. "Black and white is so much easier." "Yeah," the other man replied. "It is. But finally, as much as I tried not to, I began to see you as part of the group. Willow was exstatic in her typical manner, always romancing about the great love between a slayer and a vampire and I started to get a crush on Cordy, so even my jealousy wasn't as strong anymore. And Giles accepted you too." "But then it happened and Angel changed," Buffy supplied. "Yeah," he nodded. "It was the typical situation 'I said you so'. All I wanted was to get rid of him. I hated you," he gazed at the former vampire, "even more than the others because you had been able to hurt her deeply, you almost destroyed her and I didn't give a damn that it wasn't you. So you went to hell and I thought my world was right agin, but it wasn't. Far from it!," he admitted. "Buffy was a shell. Willow tried to get her to date that looser Scott, but we all knew she couldn't get over you and then you were back. Snap and you were back in our lives. And before I could start hating you again you saved Willow's life and then mine when psycho-slayer tried to strangle me." He took his cup and drank a large gulp, burning his tongue in the process. Holding the cup in both hands he went on. "So there I was again. Trying to hate you and somehow not able to." He shook his head, "I don't know how to explain this. By that time my relationship with Cordy had been reduced to nothing, she treated me like a bug again. I know now that she was just trying to protect herself because I hurt her deeply. Some years ago she told me I had been the first person she'd opened up herself to. Of course I was too dense to realise it then." He ran a hand through his hair, "But let's come back to the subject. So when Angel finally decided to leave Sunnydale I was glad because I couldn't make up my mind when it came to him. And I saw how much it threw you that you couldn't be close," he gave Buffy a smile. "So I honestly thought it was for the best. At first you were moping and sad and I wanted to kill Parker for doing what he did because it was something you really didn't need right then. But then came Riley. "Looking back I don't know if I really believed it or if I just wanted to believe that he was the right guy for you. But you seemed okay with him, he was caring for you, he tried everything to make you happy. He certainly wasn't completely normal, but at least more normal than you first and not dumping you like that slimy bastard Parker. And Riley had another big plus, he was human. So for once I had my black and white," he quickly glanced at Angel who smiled, "and everything seemed right for me or as right as it could be with all the demons and vampires

around us. "Of course there was still Spike but he wasn't a real threat and he was evil so I could just tune him out as annoying as he was sometimes." He took a deep breath and finally pushed the subject he'd been running around the whole speech. "And then the letter came. I can clearly remember Willow's phonecall, she was babbling on the phone and then wanted us to meet at Giles. But only Riley, me and her beside the G-man. Willow, Riley and Giles soon agreed that it was for your best not to show it to you." He put his cup down and stared at it for a moment, "After a while they convinced me that it was. I didn't like the idea at the beginning. As much as I disliked Dead-Boy, it just didn't feel right. It was your letter and it was very personal. I wanted to run when Willow started reading it aloud. But somehow their arguments sounded logical. Willow's and Giles' that was. Riley," he shrugged, "I wasn't so sure about him. He felt that you were slipping from him, that you never truly loved him and for him Angel's letter was a threat. So if it had only been him I would've said no. But Willow's and Giles' concern seemed so genuine." He dared to look at slayer and ex-vampire again and then threw his hands in the air, "So we did it. We hid the letter and I felt like the greatest liar in the universe, until ... until you started dating Brian. You seemed so perfect together. He is a great guy and when you announced your engagement I was convinced we did the right thing. After all Angel had written himself that it was unlikely he'd become human in your lifetime." He let out an unhappy laugh and for a moment burried his face in his hands. Then he looked up again, "But seeing you two together now, boy was I wrong! I've never seen Buffy like that. Honestly. Never. Before there was always ... I don't know. Somehow it was forbideen, not possible. And the other guys, even Brian, were nothing but a substitute, a desperate try to escape the loneliness. But seeing you now," he gave them his first genuine smile, "it's perfect." Then he leaned back pulled Anya's hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Just like us," he added. Buffy had listened during his entire speech and now she couldn't help the tears welling up in her eyes, "Oh Xand," she said her voice full of emotion. "You are horrible. I wanted to hate you for what you did and now...," she sniffed and turned her head into Angel's chest who smiled at the other man. "You've certainly grown up, Xander," he said. "That's what life and love do to you," Xander replied simply. Then he added, "and the fact that I'll be a father soon. Gives you some insight." Still sniffing, Buffy looked at him again, "I'm still mad at you," she told him. "I know. I expected that," he grinned, knowing that they'd made the first big step to save their friendship. "But you seem to be truly sorry and I can understand what was going on inside of you. What about you?," she looked at Angel. "I'm okay with it. I mean, who am I to be unforgiving. But don't hurt her again, do you understand?," he sharply glanced at Xander who nodded in response. "Understood," he said. "And I won't, well, at least not intentionally." "Can we now call Cordelia and Gunn," Anya suggested out of the blue. "I'm starving and all this angst makes it even worse." Xander laughed, "That's my love, always direct."

"Good for her," Buffy grinned at the former demon who smiled back. "Let's call Cordy." She looked around and saw Xander holding up a hand. "I won't do it. Yesterday was embarrassing enough. I think I interrupted something." "Angel?," the slayer gazed at her boyfriend with puppy dog eyes. He rolled his, "You're impossible." He sighed, "Fine. I'm calling her. We can have dinner here or somewhere out. What do you prefer?" "Out," came her quick reply and she gazed at Xander, "I think we have a reason to celebrate. We saved a friendship." Her friend of many years gave her a grateful look. "Out it is," the former vampire kissed her lightly on the cheek and stood up. "Formal or casual?" "Casual," Xander replied, "We didn't bring anything formal because we weren't sure...," he trailed off and exchanged another glance with Buffy. And while Angel called Cordelia and Gunn and understanding passed between them. They had still a long way to go to reinstall the trust that had been destroyed between them. But they'd taken the first step and they both knew that given time it would be okay. END --- but this series will be continued eventually!

They all knew the call would come sooner or later, but when it came it was still a shock. It was Monday morning when Cordelia picked up the phone still laughing about one of Gunn's jokes when her face suddenly fell, she turned round and her voice dropped to a whisper. Still they could all hear to whom she was talking at the other end. "What demon? ... so you think you can't handle it ... hmmm ... serious ... no, NO Giles! I won't give you Buffy," her voice was rising now. "No," she said firmly. "But you can talk to Wesley or Angel, it's your choice... Fine," she let out a sigh and turned around, "Giles wants to talk to you Angel." He nodded and walked over to the phone but without letting go of Buffy's hand that he'd been squeezing all the time. The slayer's face was pale, her body rigid as if fighting for control. "Giles," the ex-vampire took the receiver from Cordelia and listened. "I see." He took a deep breath, "She'll be there tonight." Looking at Buffy he amended, "We'll all be there... Yes, Faith too. ... I thought Xander would tell you about her ... see you then. Bye." Turning towards his crew who had gathered in the lobby by now, he said, "They have a Turmalion demon in Sunnydale. Giles thinks they can't handle it on their own." Turning towards his girlfriend he pulled her into his arms, "Are you okay?" She shrugged but avoided looking into his eyes, "Sure. We all knew that day would come." "Buffy, you don't have to go. A Turmalion demon isn't that strong. Faith could handle it."

"Sure," the brunette slayer offered from behind. "A Turmal ... whatever ... I slay them before breakfast." "No." Buffy gave her a grateful smile but shook her head, "This is my duty. Maybe ... maybe it's best this way. Sooner or later I would've to face Willow and Giles." She leaned her head against Angel's chest and muttered, "Later would've been better though." He kissed her skull and tightened his embrace, "It'll be alright, you'll see." "If they give you trouble they'll have to answer me," Cordelia said with a smile. "Hey, maybe they're still scared of me," Faith grinned. "I mean I could try to look dangerous..." Buffy turned around and gave her a smile, "Thanks, but I think I can handle it. They should be afraid to face me not vica-versa." She felt much better receiving so much support from her friends ... the real ones ... including Cordelia, she thought, inwardly shaking her head in amazement. Who would've thought all these years ago. "That's my Buffy," Angel gave her a brilliant smile and kissed her forehead. "Give it to them!" "We will all be with you," Gunn came around Cordelia's desk to stand beside his girlfriend and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "They won't even have time to annoy you," the fromer may-queen remarked with a grin, "because they'll have problems to close their mouths seeing me with a guy like him." With this she wriggeld away from Gunn and shot him a nasty look. Sighing he shook his head, "See what I have to endure all the time." ****** "I'm so nervous," Willow was pacing the living-room of the apartment she shared with Giles since Buffy had left Sunnydale. "Maybe you should just sit down," the watcher suggested. "Sit down?," she echoed. "You've gotta be kidding. If I'd drunk lots of coffee this morning I couldn't be jumpier. My nerves are in overdrive. It was such an ugly scene before she left and I haven't talked to her since." She sighed and finally *did* sit down. "She even sent Cordelia and Wesley to get her stuff." Then she gave him an annoyed glance, "Aren't you nervous at all?" "I am," he replied and gave her a tight smile. "But I've learned that jumping around like this doesn't help. Maybe our news will help to ease the waves." "As if she'd be interested in them!" The witch shook her head, "After what Xander told me she's not interested in Sunnydale and us anymore. Oh Rupert," she looked at him unhappily, "what if she's never going to forgive me! I did it because I thought it best for her. I still do!," she began to defend herself. "I mean look at it from today. What if we'd shown the letter to her? She would've gone to Angel and waited for him. At that point he still was a vampire with a fragile soul. She'd spent years of her life just waiting for him. Waiting for something that might not have happened until today." She stood again and threw her hands in

the air, "Nobody knew it was going to happen so soon." "I know," Giles pulled his glasses from his nose and began to rub them with the hem of his shirt. "But it's fact that if she hadn't found the letter by accident she would've married Brian." "And this would've been such a bad thing because?," she shot back. "Brian loved her, he still does. I just met him and his heart is broken. I swear he lost ten pounds and he misses her so much. And Buffy loved him too. She told me herself. She sat on the very spot you're sitting now and with a happy smile on her face told me she was going to marry Brian. And then Angel comes around and everything before was nothing." Angrily she shook her head again, "She's behaving like a child." "My dear," Giles stood up as well and laid a hand on her arm, "I know you meant it well. I did too. But obviously we both underestimated the amount of love between Buffy and Angel. Don't you think?," he asked and cupped her cheek to make her look at him. "Maybe we both need to try to see things from her point of view for a change." ***** Buffy threw a bloody axe into Angel's direction and gave him a tired smile. The battle with the demon had been unexpectedly long and hard. Even with the combined strength of two slayers. Now they were both standing in the graveyard and wiping sweat from their faces. The L.A.-team had been driving down to Sunnydale late that afternoon and after Wesley had quickly talked to Giles they'd gone off to the Sunnyrest-cemetery to take care of the creature, what meant the two slayers would fight, supported by Gunn and Angel, who would help as far as humanely possible and Cordelia and Wesley standing a short distance away watching the scene or as the former cheerleader put it, giving moral support. "You both okay?," Angel asked the two women who were now grinning at each other. "Sure, boss," Faith replied and gave him a slight punch on his arm. "You're bleeding," the former vampire looked at his girlfriend and traced a small wound on her cheek with the tip of his forefinger. "No big," she gave him a quick kiss, "slayer healing and all. And with Faith by my side," she grinned towards her sister-slayer again, "what could go possibly wrong, not to mention the back-squad and my own cheering-team." "That's us," Cordelia raised a fist in the air. "I've always been good at cheering. Remember, they took me!" Buffy looked at the brunette, but there was only friendly teasing in her eyes. "Yeah, I remember," she replied. "First burning hands, than a diappearing mouth and finally Queen C going blind." "Huh?," Angel gave her a questioning gaze. She waved with her hand, "Forget about it. It was a long time ago. And it was actually about a witch, not about demons." "Err, I don't want to destroy the mood," Wesley interrupted their conversation, "but we need to get back to report about this." Buffy sobered instantly. Then she nodded slowly, "Alright, let's go. It's always better to face the devil."

* Only ten minutes later they stood in front of Buffy's old apartment, gazing at each other but none willing to ring the bell. When finally Cordelia reached out the door opened before she could touch the bell. Giles looked at the group awkwardly and then quickly glanced behind his back where Willow was standing chewing her lower lip. Then he cleared his throat and his eyes were on Buffy when he invited them, "Come on in then." While they were passing him one by one, he asked, "Did it go well with the demon?" "Perfectly well," Wesley replied and was the only one who actually smiled. "They are both experienced and well trained slayers. I didn't even expect real problems although this special demon was quite strong." "So nobody's hurt?," Willow spoke up for the first time. "No," Faith answered and looked at the red-head. "Hi Willow. I hear you're big in keeping secrets these days." "Faith," came Angel's sharp voice. "Please," he then added softly. The brunette slayer smiled at him apologetically. "Sorry, but I couldn't help it." An awkward silence settled over the room after that. They tried not to look at each other and when they did they quickly averted their eyes. Finally Welsey was the first to speak, "I really could do with some tea," he announced. "Tea. Of course," Willow jumped up from the chair she'd been sitting on and moved towards the kitchen. "Maybe Buffy could help me," she asked uncertainly, eager to talk to her former best friend in private. "You're familiar with things here after all," she added and for the first time looked at the other woman. The blonde slayer nodded hesitantly and after exchanging a glance with Angel and quickly pressing his hand she followed the red-head away from the others. * "How are things going in L.A.," Giles asked nobody in particular after the two women had left the room. "Good," Wesley answered quickly glancing at Angel. The former vampire sat oposite to the older watcher. "That's great," Giles answered with unfamiliar enthusiasm. He was playing with his glasses in his hands and absentlmindedly rubbing his forehead from time to time. "Angel, I...," he began but broke off, cleared his throat and began again, "I know whe didn't have time to talk, since ... err ... well, since Buffy left Sunnydale. The situation has been quite ... tense, as you certainly know." "Yes," the former vampire replied. "I know." When he saw that the watcher was about to speak again he held up his hand. "Giles. Whatever you're going to say now it doesn't change anything that happened in the past. I can understand that you meant well by doing what you did. Hell, it's not as if I haven't acted ...," he stopped abruptly realising that he hadn't even told Buffy about the special Day at Thanksgiving all those years ago. And this was certainly not the way he was going to do it, he was dreading this special talk enough when done privately. "Anyway," he continued after a short pause, "as I said. I can understand it. I know you love Buffy. And she knows too. But that's not the point here. The

problem is she feels betrayed and I understand that too. Her friends have kept something from her. Something that was or is very important. She's hurt and lost her trust in you." "She talked to Xander," Giles reminded the former vampire and the hurt was audible in his voice. Xander had been forgiven, why not the others. "I think," Angel gave him a smile, "it's because she didn't expect very much from Xander in the first place. He lied to her before. She wasn't as ... can we say surprised. But you and Willow were her most trusted friends. She relied on you, Giles you were her watcher, still are," he corrected himself. "The bond between watcher and slayer is very strong and yours went even deeper. As much as you see a daughter in her she sees a father in you. And she's already experienced a father who betrayed her." "I never saw it that way," the older watcher leaned back on his sofa, his face wearing a baffled expression. "With Willow," Angel went on. "Well I think there isn't a secret Buffy hasn't told her only to find out it wasn't the same the other way round. I truly hope that these two find a way to make it work again, but I'm not sure." He sighed and looked at Cordelia whose face wore a concerned expression as well. * "Can you get the milk from the fridge," Willow asked the slayer while she was busying herself with the water and tea-bags. "It's still ... oh, I see you found it." "Sure I did. I lived here for a while," Buffy replied tightly. Then she sighed and put the milk down and her hand on her hips. "What do you want to talk about Willow?," she asked not liking to tip around the subject. The spoon the red-head had been holding met the counter with a loud clattering noise. "T-talk?," she stuttered. "Well, we could talk about your life in L.A. for example," she said then, picking the spoon up with a trembling hand. "Cut the crap, Willow," the slayer's voice was still angry. "You didn't drag me in here with you to make some small talk, did you? Because I really don't need this, you know." "Buffy," the witch looked at her, her face troubled. "I ... I can't stand that. You are my best friend, my only real friend - girlfriend that is - and we haven't talked to each other for over six weeks. You're treating me like I've become untouchable all of a sudden. Don't you think I've paid enough for my fault?" "Honestly?," the slayer quirked a brow, "No!" "Buffy..." "You're little fault almost costed me the man I love. I gave up on us because I thought there'd never be a chance. And even worse, I let a good man fall in love with me and I had to hurt him terribly afterwards." Buffy crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at her former friend. Her whole body screamed 'stay away from me'. "But I wanted you to be happy!," Willow shouted desperately trying to make the slayer understand, "You didn't need this. A hope that could be in vain. It would've costed you years of your life. This way you lived it full. I'm sure if you'd ask Angel he would be the first to agree." "But we're not asking him," Buffy's voice was low and dangerous. "It's me we are talking about. Willow you betrayed me. You kept something so important away from me. As good as your intentions might have been, but this was *not* your decision

to make. It was mine and you prevented me from making it. And by the way when you decided to keep the letter from me you couldn't have known Brian would step into my life." "B-But there was Riley and you and he..." "Were a farce," the slayer shot back. "He was clingy, had that inferior complex going on already and was whoring around with vampires. Was that the kind of boyfriend you wanted me with? God, what is wrong with you Willow? Can't you see what you did. You destroyed my trust in you. You were my best friend, my trusted friend. I told you everything. I told you things I didn't tell anybody else. All the stuff about Angel, how much I loved him. I cried in your arms when he left me! How could you? How could you do this to me?." Buffy felt tears running down her cheeks but ignored them. Let Willow see how much she hurt me, she thought. "I ... I ...," the witch stuttered but then stopped suddenly missing the words to explain herself. Maybe there weren't any. The realisation struck her like lightning. "God, Buffy, I'm sorry," she blurted out. Her cheeks now wet from tears as well. "I really thought it was for your best, but ... but I'm not sure anymore. I mean, I ...," helplessly she shrugged. "I was angry with Angel because he hurt you like this and maybe I ...," she shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe I thought Angel hadn't earned another chance. Maybe in a twisted way I tried to protect you from getting hurt again." She broke off and wiped her tears away. Much quieter she added, "But you're right. It wasn't my decision to make and I'm sorry. But I can't make it go away. The only thing I can do is to ask you if you'd be able to give me another chance. To prove you that I'm your friend, that is." Buffy looked at her for a long moment and then slightly shook her head, "I don't know, Willow. I honestly don't. This cut went too deep. I can't just wave it away like this," with a motion of her hand she underlined the meaning of her words. "I don't think we will be like before ever again, but ...," she took a deep breath, "you were a good friend so many times and for this I'm willing to try." When she saw the red-head starting towards her, she lifted a hand, "No. No embracing, Willow. It's too early. And I won't promise anything. We just have to wait and see what's going to happen." "Sure," the witch nodded, "I'm okay with it. At least we're talking again. And I'll do everything to make you trust me again. I promise." The slayer sighed, "Alright," she gave her friend a nod. "And now you should take care of the tea because the water is boiling." * "They're gone awfully long," Faith remarked after looking at her watch. "It's a good sign," Angel gave her a smile. "They're gone for a while and we haven't heard anything. That probably means they're talking. It's what Buffy needs. This whole situation throws her," he added gazing at Giles now. "Every night she cries in her sleep." "I'm sorry," the watcher replied, his face grave. "I know," the former vampire assured him. "Maybe you should tell her. She misses you both. We aren't talking about it ... well, not very often, but I can see it in her eyes. I can see how much she's hurting." "But I should say I'm sorry to you too, Angel," Giles said after a short silence. "I know we hid the letter from her but this concerns you too. It must have hurt you too when you got no reaction from her."

A muscle in Angel's cheek twitched and the watcher could see the flicker of pain crossing his handsome features before he slowly answered, "It has. But it's in the past and if I've learned something then it's not to dwell on it. Only moving on makes sense, otherwise you loose yourself in your memories." "He's right, you know," came Buffy's voice from the door and all eyes turned towards her. "And I want to thank you Giles," she continued, claiming the spot beside Angel again. "You're the very first to apolologise to Angel though," she quickly glanced at Willow who balanced a tray with cups and tea. Placing it on the table she looked at the former vampire, "I'm sorry, Angel. I know we had no right to do this. I ...," she took a deep breath, "I told Buffy already that I was angry with you. I probably thought you didn't earn her." He let out an unhappy laugh, "That thought crossed my mind once or twice too," he said and glanced at his girlfriend who was squeezing his hand tightly. "Yes, well," Willow motioned her guests to serve themselves with tea, took a seat beside Giles and then her eyes rested on Angel again, "When you and Buffy were together at first I had incredibly romantic ideas about you two. The slayer and the vampire. My imagination was in overdrive. And I guess deep inside I resented you for destroying my illusions." She took a cup herself and poured tea with milk, something she'd copied from her boyfriend. Boyfriend, she had to inwardly laugh at that. Giles was probably too old to qualify as a boyfriend, wasn't he? "As I said, she's got some serous flaws," Cordelia exchanged a look with Buffy who couldn't help but smile at that remark. Faith giggled and Willow felt a pang of jealousy by watching the closeness between the three woman. Something she'd once shared with the slayer. A very ugly strike of self-knowledge hit her and as much as she wanted she couldn't deny it completely. Had she maybe unconsciously liked the idea that nobody was closer to Buffy than herself? Angel had certainly been a threat, the way the couple looked at each other now was more than proof for it, while Riley or Brian or the few others ... no, don't even go there, she scolded herself. Hasn't Angel just said something about not dwelling on something? "... some news," she heard Giles say beside her while she suddenly realised that seven pairs of eyes were staring at her. "Uhm ... what?," she asked confused. "Giles just told us you both had some news to share," Cordelia told her with a curious glance in her eyes. "News?," the red-head frowned. "Uh, oh, yes news." She slightly shook her head and laughed self-consciously. "Sorry I've been somewhere else." "We would've never noticed," Faith said sarcastically. "Well, would you share it now?," the voice of the former mayqueen showed clearly her impatience. "We're going to get married," Willow blurted out. "Rupert thought at his age our relationship needs some solid ground." And now she smiled at her future husband and then at her friends or at least they were hopefully going to be her friends again. "Married? You and Giles?," Cordelia asked incredulously, her eyes wide. "Yes," the watcher shot the former cheeleader an irritated glance. "I don't know why this is such a shock. We've been dating for almost two years now."

"Congratulations," Angel and Wesley said almost simulaneously. "Thanks," Willow smiled at them. "Maybe you could all come. We would be glad." Giles emphasised her pleading with a nod. "Sure," Buffy shrugged and leaned against her lover's shoulder. "Why not." She could see that the red-head wanted to ask something else, probably if she'd be her bridesmaid, but to the slayer's great relief the witch bit her tongue. Buffy didn't want to say 'no', but she wasn't ready for this. They would have to go a long way until they'd regain even a bit of the familiar closeness. "When will be the big date?," Gunn asked. "In three weeks," Giles informed the L.A.-group. "Anya's due in a week and she should be up again until our wedding. Willow wants all her friends there," he added and laid a warm hand on his fiance's shoulder who smiled in response. "Alright, count us in," Faith stood up and glanced at her watch, "Uhm ..." "Yes," Angel stood up as well pulling Buffy with him in the process, "We really need to get back home." He extended a hand towards Giles, "It was good to see you." "Yes," the watcher replied and held the former vampire's hand a bit longer. The two men exchanged a long look, then both nodded. It wasn't all back to normal but they'd made a big step again and given time, they'd make it work. END of this story! --- this series will be continued --- so keep tuned! Angel wasn't sure if it was the right time to bring up that particular subject. Buffy was still raw from their visit to Sunnydale and the meeting with Giles and Willow. It had gone well, the former vampire thought, at least better than he'd expected. There had been no shouting after all. And that was good, wasn't it? Buffy's relationship to her watcher and the witch wasn't back to normal yet but it had been a first step and for a start she'd stopped avoiding their names when talking about Sunnydale. The fact that he'd hidden something from Buffy too was heavy on Angel's conscience even when it was done for her sake. But hadn't Giles and Willow used that term too? Angel sighed inwardly and measured coffee for the machine. He'd been up early, slipping silently from the bedroom not to awake the slayer. Buffy wasn't much for getting up in the morning, she usually was grumpy. He had to smile, she was so cute when she was like that. And the thing she needed then was coffee. Strong, black and hot. He almost jumped out of his skin when suddenly two arms crept around his waist. The spoon he had been holding clattered down," Buffy!," he yelled. She giggled against his back but didn't let go of him, "Sorry," she said, her voice sounding anything but. "Where have you been?," she asked curiously. "I was thinking about the way you look when you're waking up," he informed her and turned around to look into her hazel eyes. She grimaced, "I wanted to say 'that's so sweet of you', but on a second thought I rewind that. Buffy and morning don't mix."

He grinned and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips, "Hmmm," he made and licked his lips straightening up again and turning back to the coffee machine. "You taste good in the morning." "Toothpaste with mint flavour," she said with a smile and hopped on the counter, her legs dangling in the air. "Coffee, very good." "You have to wait another five minutes," he replied and pressed the button to start the machine. "Good." She reached out and pulled him over to her. There was something to say about slayer strength. Came in handy for several occasions, she thought. "Now, what could we do in five minutes?," she grinned at him suggestively. "Besides the fact that we did it tonight," he said, pulling her closer so that he was now standing between her legs, "I'm not really up to publicity." Nibbling at her ear he whispered, "It's almsot ten. Cordelia will be there in about five minutes." "She ... might ... be late," she moaned. "No," he trailed kisses down her neck, "not today." "Why ... uh ... not?" She closed her eyes, savouring the feeling of his lips on her skin. "Because," he cleared his throat and pulled back, smiling at her sheepishly, "she called just ten minutes ago to tell me she and Gunn were on their way. So ... as much as I'd like to continue this," he said and then looked pointedly at her outfit. All she was wearing were her panties and one of Angel's shirts that covered her down to midtight. "Uh," with a panicked look in her eyes she jumped off of the counter, "I'll be back when the coffee is through," she shouted and was already half-way up the stairs. **** He had been dreading this moment the whole day, hell, he'd been dreading this conversation for years. But he knew he couldn't let it be forever and this evening was as good as any other. Switching off the light in his office he walked into the lobby to find Buffy there sitting on one of the huge leather sofas flipping through a magazine. She'd been busy hunting a sewer demon with Faith the whole day but didn't look exhausted. "Do you want something to drink?," he asked and when she shook her head he took a seat opposite to her. He saw her frown a little at that. Usually he would sit beside her and she would snuggle to him. But not tonight, he told himself firmly. He didn't want her to be distracted or distract him which was more likely. She liked to distract him whenever he began to talk seriously, he thought with an inward smile and usually they would end up making love, but not this time. "I sense something here," she said after a moment and put the magazine down, a touch of worry entering her eyes. "Is something wrong?" "Wrong?," he quickly glanced at her but then averted his eyes. "No, not really wrong." God, he was nervous. It was a good thing he'd had centuries of practice to hide feelings like these, otherwise he'd be fidgeting helplessly with his shirt. As it was he just avoided looking at her but seemed relaxed on the outside or at least hoped he was. "You're different tonight," she remarked and was about to come over to him, but

he held up a hand. "No, please stay there." Taking a deep breath he continued, "There's ... you're right," he rubbed his forehead with one hand, then entwined both hands in his lap. "I'm not sure how to begin," he looked up at her and gave her a sheepish smile. "Well, how about just telling me," she suggested and crossed her legs under herself. There was impatience and concern in her voice, "Angel, you frighten me. Please, is something wrong? Are you ill or ..." "No," he interrupted her quickly. "No, I'm not ill. It's nothing like that." Damn, he was over two centuries old and was handling the situation worse than a schoolboy, telling his mom he'd kicked a ball through the neighbours window. "Do you remember when you were in L.A?" "What time? I've been here once or twice you know?," she tried to joke, but worry made her voice sound strained. "I even grew up here." "Thanksgiving," he told her. "You know when I came to Sunnydale and then after ...," "You mean when you were stalking me in Sunnydale?," when she saw him wince, she added, "sorry. I didn't..." "No, it's okay. Yes, exactly then. You came to L.A. and we talked to each other." "You killed the Mohra demon and I left. Angel, I know that," she shot him an irritated look. "I don't understand why you're telling me that now." "Because what you remember is only the cut version of what really happened or more un-really for that matter." There he'd said it. At least the first part. "What do you mean?," she narrowed her eyes and glanced at him suspiciously. "The cut version?" "The first time," he rubbed his neck and stood up. He needed to move, he couldn't sit still and talk about it. "There was a first time?" "Yes," he stopped and looked at her, "Look, Buffy, it's a rather complicated story. It's probably the best you just let me tell it and then you can ask whatever you want." After a short moment she nodded, "Well then tell me!" She leaned back, gazing at him expectantly. "Alright," he continued talking and began to pace. "It was all as you remember it until the Mohra demon jumped through the window. The first time I didn't kill it, because I didn't know how. It escaped and we both followed it through the sewers. We weren't sure where it had gone so we parted. It seemed the best also because the situation between us two was tense." He stopped, looked at her and when he saw her listening attentively, he sat down again and went on. "So you went up into the daylight and I stayed underground. I found the demon or more exactly it found me, we fought and it scratched my skin. Then I killed it or so I thought and some of it's blood mixed with mine. I fell to the ground and the next thing I felt was a pulse." He saw her surprised expression and let out a short laugh, "Exactly my feelings. I went back to the office and Doyle and I found out that the blood of a

Mohra-demon is special. It's regenerative and it made me human." Buffy let out a gasp and stared at him. It sounded like a fairytale and yet he was serious and obviously very nervous. She sensed there was more to come and somehow she had a feeling she wasn't going to like it. "Go on," she said with a nod. "Yes," he nodded and leaned back, "Well, I went to the Oracles and they told me it was real. That I was released from my duty and could live as a normal human being from now on. I was confused, but then Doyle asked me what I wanted and suddenly I knew. So I went to see you and we ... well," he looked at her pointedly. "Oh," she blushed slightly and then asked, "But why can't I remember that?" "I'll come to that. We were a bit hesitant at the beginning, not sure what to do. We even decided to take things slow, but then our hands touched and ...," he trailed off and was silent for a moment. Clearing his throat he went on, "we spent the day together in my apartment." He locked his eyes with hers, "it was perfect, it was all I'd ever dreamed about. But then Doyle came down and told me the Morah demon wasn't really dead. It had regenerated itself, so I went off with him to finally kill it for real." "B .. but you were human, how ..?" "Good question. And thinking back to it, I should've listened to Doyle. He said I should wake you, but I ... I couldn't. You were sleeping so peacefully and besides ...," he shrugged, "well, I wanted to prove to you that I could be more than just a nuissance. So I went to fight it and it almost killed me. But then you came and saved my life." "I see," she just said and looked at him steadily, her eyes clearly demanding to hear the whole story. God, please let her understand he prayed silently. "I went to the Oracles again. They speak or better spoke for the Powers That Be. Before it died the Mohra had said something like 'together you are strong, alone you are dead' and I had to know what it meant. And they told me that you would die if I stayed human, so I asked them to turn me back. They said they couldn't do it, but then they offered the possibility to swollow 24 hours and I was the only one to remember." When she didn't react he went on, "I came back and told you what was going to happen. You were crying, but you said you'd understand and then you asked how you were meant to go on knowing what we could've had. It was the moment I knew it was right. I didn't want you to carry the burden." "And so you decided to carry it alone, right?," she shot back, barely hidden anger evident in her voice. He looked steadily at her, "Yes. I did. I decided for you, because there was no other chance. This was about your life Buffy. And I would do ..." "Stop," she shouted and jumped up. "Don't.," she held her arms in front of her when she saw him getting up as well and approaching her. "Don't you dare touching me. This was ten years ago. We could've had ten years," her voice was trembling as was her whole body by now. "Buffy, didn't you listen. You probably would've died," he said, whishing her to understand. "But you didn't know that for certain," she shouted again. "Maybe they lied to you."

"No, Buffy ..." She went on as if she hadn't heard him, her eyes not focussed on anything, "Ten years, Angel. You just gave it away. Did it mean so little to you?," now her accusing gaze rested on him. "Oh God, Buffy," he whispered, trying to find the words, "how can you say that? It meant everything to me! Everything!" "Oh sure," she replied sarcastically. "It meant so much, you didn't even think about asking me first." Tears were running down her cheeks. Tears caused by anger, frustration and hurt. "You did what you've always done, Angel. You decided what's best for poor little Buffy. You're all rotten bastards, you, Willow, Giles, Xander. And you know what? You can go to hell!" With this she spun around and was out of the door faster than he could react. After a heartbeat Angel was after her, but he had no chance. With her slayer speed he lost her at the second corner. She disappeared into the night leaving Angel heartbroken and desperate. **** Granted he was accustomed to guilt and brooding but this was more than he'd ever experienced, because it was about Buffy. The disappointment and the disgust in her eyes were like permanent pokers right through his heart. He was cursing himself for not just forgetting about the whole thing, for causing her pain, only to take a burden from his conscience. But no, he told himself immediately. This was different, this was about trust and bringing everything out in the open, something that had to be done before they could even think about a future together. A future that they might not have after all. He rubbed his face with a trembling hand, glancing at the clock for the hundreth time that night. She hadn't come home. It was almost morning and not a word from her. It tore his heart out thinking she was somewhere out there crying and feeling miserable. All he wanted was to take her in his arms and make the pain go away, but he didn't even know where she was exactly. He would wait another hour and then he would inform his friends. Or maybe he would wait two. *** Cordelia found him when she entered the hotel. His upper body was slumped over his desk, some files spread over the floor. "Oh God," she exclaimed and his head shot up. His lids were heavy and in his head someone seemed to pound against his skull. Blinking away sleep he tried to focus on the brunette who was standing in the doorway staring at him, "Cordelia?" "Yes, Cordelia," she echoed and put her hands on her hips. "What on earth has happened here?" "W-what time is it? Buffy...," he struggled to get up. Being human was a real nuissance sometimes. "What about Buffy?," the former cheerleader wanted to know. "We ...," he rubbed his face with a hand, absentminededly realising he needed to shave, "I told her about the day the Oracles turned back." "I see," Cordelia nodded. "And she didn't take it to well, right?"

"No, she didn't," he replied. "Did she come back? Have you seen her?" "No," the former mayqueen shook her head. "She's not around, maybe upstairs," she offered, trying to sound positive. "No Buffy," Faith entered the office with a shrug, "I was eavesdropping," she told the two others. "She isn't in your room." "God, I messed this up," Angel fell back on his chair and pressed thumb and forefinger on his eyes. "If something happens to her ..." "Angel, it's daylight outside. And she's a slayer she can look out for herself," Faith reminded him. "Not if she's not paying attention. She was very upset when she took off." "We'll all look for her, Angel," Faith laid a comforting hand on his arm. "How about I go now?" Smiling at him she left the office. "And I'm going to call Kate," Cordelia turned. "We're going to find her, Angel. Don't worry," she said over her shoulder. **** Although everyone did their best Buffy kept hidden. They searched for her everywhere, but nothing. Four days after she'd run from the hotel Angel was ready to climb up the walls or to shout. Two days later he was about to give up. There was no report of a young blonde hurt or killed and Angel didn't actually expect her to be. She was the slayer after all, paying attention or not. So he had to start to get used to the idea that she didn't want to be with him anymore and that was more he could handle. Not now, not when they had a real chance. God, this couldn't be real. He hadn't slept well the last nights and it had taken its toll. He'd lost weight and his face looked worn. He wouldn't go that far to say he looked every day of his age, he was more than 250 years old after all, but he certainly looked older than usual. He was dead tired and not really surprised that he fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow. **** It was a stormy, rainy night when Cordelia woke up from a pounding at her front door. Under normal circumstances she would've ignored it, especially now that Gunn was out of town for two days working at a case, but Buffy was still missing and so she decided she should at least look. Expecting a drunken Angel or something like that she could only stare at the blonde in front of her door looking more like a drowned rat than a slayer. "Cordy," she said in a little voice. "I - I'm sorry," she stuttered, her body shaking like a leaf, her lips blue from the cold. "It ... it's raining outside and I didn't know where to go." Snapping out of her daze, the former cheerleader reached out and pulled the wet girl into her apartment, "Come in," she said and closed the door. "You need a hot shower first and then you tell me what happened. We're all worried sick." "S-sure," Buffy replied and let Cordelia push her into the bathroom. *

Stepping out of the shower she smiled at the bathrobe the former cheerleader had deposed for her and the towel she used for her hair. Wrapping herself in it, she left the bathroom and joined Cordelia in the living-room where the former mayqueen had a steaming cup of chocolate waiting for her. With a greateful look Buffy took the cup and then sat down on a large seat. For a while they didn't say anything, then Cordelia spoke up, "So tell me?," she demanded. "We were searching the whole town for you. Where have you been?" "In a hotel. Fortunately I had my purse in my trousers when I took off," she replied, sipping from her mug. "But I ran out of money tonight." "And why didn't you just go back to Angel?" "You must be kidding, Cordy. Do you know what he did to me? He betrayed me," her voice was rising. "Just like Giles and Willow and Xander. This is even worse. He could've been with me. We could've been happy together and he decided it wasn't worth a try and of course he dedided it without even asking me." Putting her mug down she crossed her arms in front of her chest, sending Cordelia a challenging look not to dare to deny it. But the former cheerleader had never been one to back down. And she wouldn't begin now. And certainly not when she was needed to defend the best friend she'd ever had. "You're such a selfish bitch," she said after a moment of silence. "Oh, don't look at me that way. Did you for one minute ask yourself how it was for him? He never told me, by the way. He told Doyle and Doyle told me, but not the whole story." "So you knew!," there was even more accusation in Buffy's voice now. "Oh, stop that!," Cordelia shouted. "Okay so he didn't tell you. Fine! But did you think about what he gave up for you. What he did for you! If he was the same selfish bastard you are, he would've celebrated it and gone on with his life. But no, of course he was all noble, and put your sake over his own. He bargained his life for yours. Do you understand that!" With a snort at the slayer the brunette stood up, "He was like a zombie after that. He gave up all he ever dreamed of and he gave it up for you. And all you can do is throw it right into his face, treat him as if he'd done something horrible to you. How could you?!," she accused the blonde. "You should've seen him the past six days. He was like a shadow walking around the office, while you were pitying yourself. God, I really wish he'd never met you." She wanted to say more but stopped when she saw tears and a trembling hand over the slayer's mouth. "Oh, Cordy," Buffy whispered. "You're right." "You know, I ... I what? Did you just say, I was right?" As a reply the slayer nodded, "You are." Angrily she wiped the tears from her cheeks, "I was a bitch. But all I could think was that he kept something from me as well." "I really hate you," Cordelia gave her a small smile. "I wanted to shout at you for a while for all you've put him through and now," shaking her head she walked over to the slayer and took one of her hands, squeezing it, "I feel the need to comfort you. God, you two stupid children." She laughed. "He could be my great-great-great ... oh whatever, but you both are impossible. Can't you just go and live happily ever after. Just for a while, please. I really don't need this kind of exictement. And Angel doesn't need it either, that's for certain." "God, I'm so sorry," Buffy whispered, taking an unsteady breath. "I have to see

him." She began looking around for her clothes. "I put them into the dryer," Cordelia informed her following the slayer's eyes. "But I can give you some of mine, if you want. I'd say wait until morning, but somehow I have the feeling the sooner the better." Giving Buffy a genuine smile, "Go on, put him out of that misery." *** Angel rubbed his eyes wandering through the lobby of the Hyperion hotel in the middle of the night. Although he was tired he'd only slept for two hours. There was no way getting Buffy out of his mind. At the moment he didn't really care anymore if she would ever talk to him again. All he wanted to know was that she was okay. It seemed that even now as a human all he could do was hurting her. Maybe it would've been better he'd never gone back to Sunnydale. She'd be married by now with a good guy like Brian and happy. But no, he had to act all selfish and go to her. Would he ever learn, he wondered. He whirled around when he heard a knocking noise at the entrance of the hotel. No, oh God, please no, was all he could think. Don't let her be hurt. Police officers came at night to tell relatives ... shaking his head Angel walked over to the door, opened it and froze. There she was. After almost a whole week she was standing right in front of him. She looked as if she'd been crying recently, but the anger was gone from her eyes. "Buffy." "Angel," they said simultaneously. "Come in," he stepped back to let her enter and she did it without hesitation. Was it a good sign? Or did she just come to get ther things? God, please no! "You look tired," she said after a moment, then turned and stared at him. "I wasn't sleeping well," he replied. Angel, you're an idiot, he scolded himself. I wasn't sleeping well, what nonsense. "Are you alright?," he asked. "Yes," she nodded and continued staring at him. "Buffy, I ... I'm so sorry, I know you're angry with me, probably hate me, and I can't do anything to ..." "No," she interrupted him. "I was angry alright, but not anymore." A hint of a smile crossed her lips. "And I'm sorry too." And then she broke down. A sob escaped her throat and she was in his arms in a second, throwing her arms around his neck, sobbing how sorry she was over and over again. All he could do was holding her and whispering comforting words in her ear. They clung to each other and Angel managed somehow to direct her over to the sofa and sat down with her on his lap. There he held her for what seemed like an eternity. When they finally pulled back from each other both their faces were wet with tears, their eyes puffy but they were smiling. Buffy was the first to speak, "I hated you when you told me about what you did, you know. Well, not really hated you," she amended, "but ... but I thought you'd done the same as Willow and Giles. That's probably my only excuse. But Cordy set my head right tonight. She yelled at me. She loves you, did you know that?" She grinned when she said it.

"She tells me I'm annoying her most of the time, to broody," he grinned as well now. "I love you Angel," Buffy said after a moment of silence. "And I'm sorry I just ran off. Somehow ... I dunno ... I freaked." She shook her head and leaned against his chest, using his shoulder as a pillow. Softly stroking her hair he replied, "I love you too. I thought I'd lost you," his voice was hoarse with emotion when he planted a kiss on her skull. "Please don't scare me like that again." "Promise," she said without hesitation. "I would've given my life for you too, you know," she told him. "Maybe it was part of the reason I was so angry, that you got to do it for me. I'm the slayer after all, I'm here to protect people, not the other way round." "You already did," he reminded her. "You saved my life by offering yours or did you forget?" "No," she shook her head and with a smile pushed her hair back, showing him the scar that was barely visible now. "How could I. It was the moment I thought I was finally truly becoming yours. It was incredible and I began to understand how a childe felt for his sire." His body trembled with emotion when he pulled her close, holding her so tight, she had problems to breathe properly for a moment. "We never talked about it, did we?" "No," she said against his chest. "And then you just left." "I know. It was one of the hardest things I ever did," he replied. Buffy sighed and snuggled deeper into his arms, "Love really hurts sometimes." "It does, but it's worth it. I'd die for you in an instant. There's nothing more important in the world for me than you." He planted another kiss on her head, then placed his chin there. "The same here," she kissed his Adam's apple. "Let's get married Angel. I think it's time." Surprised he pushed her a little bit away from him to look into her eyes, "You think?" "Yes," she nodded. "Definitely. I love you. I want you to be my husband. Do you want to be my husband too?" Tightening his embrace again, his voice was full of emotion when he answered, "Yes, oh yes, Buffy. It's all I ever wanted. Let's get married." "How about tomorrow?" He had to laugh at that. "If you want." "I don't want to wait, Angel. Let's not waste anymore time." "We have to wait for some days, until I get a licence. Cordelia would never forgive me if we'd get married without her," he said. "And here I thought we could just elope to Vegas," she sighed dramatically. "But I see that you're right. It's a deal then?" She looked up at him, smiling.

"Deal," he replied and sealed it with a long, passionate kiss. END - this series will continue, so come back some time

Cordelia wasn't worried she told herself. Why should she be anyway? She had a good life or as good as a life could be, growing up neglected by your parents who thought they could substitute the lack of love with money. To find out that all the money was actually fake and taken away. So she had learned to live without it, tried to get her foot into filming and failed miserably. After her fruitless attemps with show-business she had to admit she had absolutely no talent as an actress. She had certainly never been fond of Angel's evil self, but the demon had opened her eyes being the first who had been totally honest with her. She hadn't become an actress. So what? That was certainly no reason to get worried. Then what about the fact she was living together with an afro-american who was as poor as a church mouse and showed absolutely no signs he'd propose marriage to her any time soon? No worries, either. She loved Gunn and he loved her, they were good for each other. They understood each other and what was a marriage certificate in the 21st century worth anyway. Only giving you trouble during a divorce. Not that she was planning to get rid of him at a point. No, it was much more the opposite. She inteded to keep him as long as possible. So no worries there? And still ... Making her way towards the Hyperion hotel she could feel her tension grow. Okay so she was working for a recently humanised vampire who had exchanged his super-powers for the possibility of a sun-tan. Not that Angel was interested in sunbathing, but he could if he wanted to now. And his permanent brooding attitude had turned into a goofy-grin plastered on his face ever since a certain blode slayer had re-entered his life. Now that was reason to worry! Angel and Buffy, they loved each other so much that it was almost palpable in the air between them, still they managed to make each other more miserable than one would think humanely possible. Seeing Angel wandering around like a shadow the last days and finding an almost drowned slayer in front of her door the last night wasn't helping either. So take it as it was, Cordelia had to admit she was worried. She could feel her steps growing heavy when she approached the hotel not sure what she would find. Buffy had left her apartment in the middle of the night to talk to Angel and each possible outcome of the latest Buffy-Angel-drama worried her. First possibility, they would both behave stubborn as usual, shout at each other and be more miserable afterwards than before. The second case was certainly better for her friends, because it included severe kissage. Yet it didn't mean Cordelia liked the idea. Knowing the slayer and the ex-vampire, the brunette knew how fast their make-out sessions could become x-rated which was never good for the clothes and Buffy had left the apartment in one of Cordelia's most expensive outfits. So the former cheerleader took a last deep breath and then pulled the door open, entering the lobby cautiously and peeping around to find any sign that could tell her what had happened here last night. But - nothing. A frown appeared on her forehead. There was just plain nothing wrong. Neither she found trashed furniture nor clothes laying around indicating the one or the other outcome. "Buffy? Angel?," she asked into the emptiness but nobody answered. And no Gunn or Wesley around to get rid of her upcoming frustration. And then some people were wondering why she was worrying all the time?

She spun around when she heard the door and let out a frustrated sigh seing the brunette slayer entering the lobby. "Faith," she greeted the other woman. "Hi," came the reply. Faith was holding up a bag, "Dognuts for everybody, I just went out to get them." Then she suddenly stopped and looked at the former mayqueen, "Is something wrong?" "Wrong?," Cordelia gave her an annoyed glance, "No, why should anything be wrong? Look at me. Do I strike you as the worrying kind? Certainly not!" "Cordelia," Faith deposed the bag on the sofa a stepped closer. "Are you alright?" "Sure!," the former cheerleader threw her hands in the air. "Why shouldn't I be? Everything is peachy. My boyfriend is gone out of town to work at a case, Angel is brooding 24/7 and on top of all this Buffy in all her wet glory stood in front of my door and in the middle of the night, if I may add, depriving me of my beauty-sleep." "Oh," Faith said with a sudden understanding in her voice, "that's where she got the clothes. I was wondering already." Cordelia's head snapped around, "So you've seen her? Are they alright? What happened?" "No, you're certainly not the worrying kind," the brunette slayer teased her. "Faith!," Cordelia shouted impatiently. The other woman held up a hand, "Alright, alright. Yes, everything is alright again. They are allover each other. They aren't even up yet." "Not true," came a voice from the stairs. Buffy was descending them, a huge smile on her face. "Morning Cordy, morning Faith." "Good morning," the former cheerleader and the brunette slayer greeted back simultaneously. "Oh, dognuts. I'm starving," the blonde exclaimed, took a jelly one out of the bag and let herself fall onto the sofa exhaling a content sigh. "Life is good, isn't it?" "Okay, who are you and what did you do with the Buffy I saw last night?," Cordelia eyed the slayer carefully. "She disappeared into thin air," Buffy joked and gave the former mayqueen a grin. "Under Angel's skillfull hands of course," she added with a dreamy look in her eyes. "Stop right there," Cordelia held up a hand. "I really don't want to hear this." Hearing a noise from the stairs she looked up and rolled her eyes, "And there he comes, no brooding look anymore, so I guess it's safe to say everything is alright again." "Hmmm," the blonde slayer mumbled over a bite of the dognut and smiled at Angel who took the spot beside her, then turned his head towards the former cheerleader. "Morning Cordelia," he said. "God, this is scary! Yesterday I was seriously considering to get you some

therapeutic sessions as a present for your next birthday, and now you look as if you've won the lottery." She shook her head and made her way towards the kitchen. "I'm going to make some coffee, anybody want some?" With a look of panic that was almost comical Angel looked at Faith, "It's your turn, you know," he said. She gazed at him quizzically, "My ... oh, OH! Right, my turn. Cordelia," she exclaimed and followed the other brunette into the kitchen. Seeing his lover's questioning look, the ex-vampire explained, "Cordelia makes the most horrible coffee ever." She grinned in response, "I see. That's the reason it's always ready when she gets here. I've already wondered." She paused for a moment and then asked, "You didn't forget what we were talking about?" "Whatever did we talk about?," he teased. She playfully punched him into his ribbs and he yelled in mocked hurt, "Don't do that Angel." Her face was serious, "This is no matter of fun. We've waited a long time to get to right where we are now. I don't want anything to disturb this now." He took her hands in his, "No, I didn't forget. I was just wondering if you wouldn't prefer to have some of your friends there?" "They are here. We can ask them right now. And Wesley..." "No," he interrupted her. "That wasn't what I meant." She looked at him for a long moment and then slowly shook her head, "No, I don't want them here. We might have talked, but it's not as if everything is right all of a sudden. I have been thinking abut Xander, but then I'd have to ask him not to tell Willow and I don't want him to choose between the two of us. He might keep quiet for me, but he'd feel bad about it." "I love you," he said and kissed her hands, then took a deep breath, "Alright. So if you're serious and not changing your mind ..." When he saw her annoyed gaze he grinned and held his hands up, "Alright, alright. I was just asking." He stood up and walked over to the phone on Cordelia's desk. "I have friends who owe me some favours you know." "Now, that sounds interesting," she replied and followed him to stand beside him while he dialed. "Would this speed up the licence?" His only answer was a shrug while he listened, "Hello Brandon, this is Angel. Yeah. ... Fine, great in fact. ... No," he laughed. "Not that way. I'm going to get married." He looked at Buffy and pulled her to him, holding her close with one arm. "Well, as soon as possible. ... Really? That'll be great. ... I know, but Vegas isn't what I want. ... Great. Fine, see you then. Thanks a lot." He put the receiver back on the cradle and gave Buffy a sweet kiss. "We can be married this afternoon at four, if it's convenient for you?," he said with a smile. "Really?," her eyes lit up. "Who is Brandon? A wizzard?" He laughed, "No, he's a lay magistrate here in L.A. I met him on a case. A demon was living in his basement. He said he'd owe me a favour ...," he trailed off. "This is so great," Buffy cried and hugged him. "So ...," suddenly her face fell. "Oh no I don't have any decent clothes. Not for a wedding."

"Wedding?," Cordelia asked coming back from the kitchen. "You know," she looked at Angel, "Faith is really getting on my nerves. She things I can't even make something as simple as a coffee. What is this about a wedding?" Buffy and Angel looked at each other and chuckled, then the ex-vampire gazed at the former mayqueen, "Cordelia, Buffy and I are getting married this afternoon." "You're getting married this afternoon," she grinned at him. "You almost had me there," she began but then saw their faces, dead serious, "WHAT?," she shouted. "You can't be serious. No way you can get married this afternoon!" "Married, who is getting married?," Faith asked coming into the lobby. "Me and Angel," Buffy informed her. The brunette slayer's face broke into a huge grin, "Was about time," she said and hugged the couple. "Congrats." "Oh this is great," Cordelia's annoyed voice interrupted them. "Hug each other. But has anybody of you ever thought about clothes and things. Or do you intend to get married like this," raising her eyebrows she pointed at the couple, Angel wearing a shirt and sweat-pants, Buffy in a similar outfit. "Of course not," the blonde slayer shook her head. "I have to go shopping. Soon." "Now we begin to understand each other," the former mayqueen looked at Buffy with a certain glimpse in her eyes that made Angel groan thinking about his credit card limit. "You need a nice dress of course and then we have to think about the wedding night." Turning towards the ex-vampire she held out her hand. "We will need money. I'm the maid of honour of course and you wouldn't want me to go in shabby old clothes either, would you?" Sighing Angel went to his office and came back holding one of his credit cards in his hand, then handed it over to Buffy. "Buy whatever you need," he smiled and bent down to kiss her. "I want you to be happy today." And inwardly he vowed that one day they would have a church wedding with all their friends but he could understand it was too early for her now and he didn't want to wait anymore than she. "I don't know how to take the fact that you gave the card to her," Cordelia said in a gruffy voice, sending him a look. Grinning Angel turned towards her, "She's my fiance, you're not." She narrowed her eyes at that, "That'll better be the only reason." Then she shrugged. "Anyway," she turned towards Buffy. "We better get going. Put some clothes on and let's go shopping. You too." She looked a Faith. "I bet you don't have anything to wear at a wedding." Faith eyes flew open, "Me? Whatever do you need me for?" Buffy took her arm, "You're the bridesmaid of course. Come on." "Angel, please," the brunette slayer sent the former vampire a pleading look while the two other women pulled her with them, but Angel only shrugged and smiled. Nothing would ruin his mood today. Nothing. ***** Three hours later - when he saw the three woman returning - he wasn't so sure anymore, their hands loaded with shopping bags, Cordelia and Buffy were smiling and joking, Faith on the other hand looked as if she was right on her way to her

execution. He and Wesley had been discussing a new demon in his office over a cup of coffee when the women entered the lobby of the Hyperion hotel. "Shopping is supposed to be fun, you know," he heard Cordelia's voice. "Fun!," Faith's voice sounded pained. "Can you explain to me where the fun is?" "Hopeless," the former mayqueen snorted while Buffy just grinned and walked over to Angel's office. "Hi," she greeted the two men and walked over to her fiance. "Business?" "Yes," Wesley answered with a nod. "A new demon. But it's nothing that can't wait. So I'll ... oh, Buffy, congratulations by the way," he said with a smile. "Thanks," she smiled back while slipping on Angel's lap. The ex-watcher was about to leave when the ex-vampire's voice stopped him, "Wait!" Wesley turned and looked at the couple behind the large wooden desk. They really looked stunning together. "Yes?" "I need a best man, you know. I mean, that's not a church wedding but still...," he trailed off and then gazed expectantly at the man who over the years had become one of his closest friends. There wasn't anybody else he could've asked. Well, Gunn, but he wasn't even in town." "Me?," the ex-watcher looked completely surprised. "I ... well ... I really never ... that's a great honour," he stuttered and colour rose in his cheeks. "So you'll do it?," Angel asked and exchanged a quick glance with his future wife. Wife, it sounded almost unreal but somehow it sounded right. "Yes, if you really mean it?," Wesley could hardly believe it. The ex-vampire was a man he admired greatly. He'd gone through hell, even literally, and had always managed to keep his head high. To find a purpose in life, to find a reason to go on. There weren't many people with such outstanding strength. If anyone deserved a reward from the Powers it was him. And Wesley felt deeply honoured that this man would ask him to stand beside him at his wedding. "Alright," he said, "I say yes, gladly." "Fine," Angel gave him a smile. "We leave at half past three," he looked to the clock, "that's in about two hours." Then he suddenly grinned, "you'll need a tux." "What?," Wesley's eyes flew open. "Well, there should be one somewhere in my apartment. But I should go and get it now, see you later." "That was sweet," Buffy said when the ex-watcher had left the office. "What do you mean? Asking Wes? No it was extremely selfish. He's the only real friend - females excluded - I have. Okay, there's Gunn, but he won't be back until tomorrow." "He could hardly believe you choose him," she replied and laid her head on his shoulder. "He admires you, you know." Angel shrugged, "Maybe. But I never did anything to encourage it."

"That's no reason to be embarrassed," she told him. "And it's not what I meant. You don't need to encourage admiration. It just happens. You're an outstanding man, Angel." "Am I now?," he asked with a grin and kissed the tip of her nose. "What happend with Faith?" She rolled her eyes, "Cordy and she were bickering all the time. Their tastes in clothing are ... well, let's just say different. Whatever Faith liked, Cordy wouldn't approve and after an hour Faith was ready to kill her." "I know the feeling," he muttered under his breath. But she'd heard him and punched him playfully in his ribbs, "Angel!" "I love her like a sister, but that doesn't mean I'm blind. Sometimes I'm only that far away from throttling her," he showed the distance of an inch between his thumb and index-finger. "That's not a very nice thing to say," she scolded, but grinned. "Angel," the very same moment Cordelia strolled into the office. "I don't want to interrupt your," she gestured with her hand at the couple and rolled her eyes, "whatever you're doing right now. But Buffy needs to get dressed, she needs her hair to be done, there's makeup to consider...," she trailed off and tapped her right foot on the ground, at the same time raising her brows to emphazise her intentions. "Cordelia...," the ex-vampire growled at the former cheerleader. "Alright, alright," Buffy gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then turned with a bright smile towards the brunette, "I'm coming. She's right, you know," she kissed him again. "I *need* to get ready. It's my wedding after all and I want to look at least tolerable." "I'm sure you'll look much better than that," he replied and tightened his grip around her waist, not willing to let her go again. She sighed and smiled, "You're so sweet and I love you, but your opinion is biased, so it doesn't count." She removed his hand from her hip and slipped from his lap. "See you later," blowing him a kiss the two women left the office. A minute later he heard a shout, "No way," it was Faith's voice. "Cordelia I hate you." ****** Brandon Gifford greeted Angel with a handshake and a big smile on his face, "My friend. This is indeed a pleasure." "I'm sorry this came on such a short note," the ex-vampire started to apologize, but the magistrate made a dismissive gesture. "Nonsense. It's a honour for me to do this for you and you lovely bride," he looked at Buffy. "Miss...?" "Summers, Buffy Summers," Angel introduced her. "Buffy, this is Brandon Gifford. We met some years ago." "You can say that," the man in his middle ages replied and shook his head, cuckling all the time, "I had a ... er ... unconventional problem."

"A demon, yes, Angel told me about it," Buffy grinned when the magistrate raised a brow in surprise. "So you know about demons as well?" "You can say that. It's my job, well, sorta," she explained. "But you can't be that old. Since when ...," "My 15th birthday," she answered the question he hadn't really asked. "So I'm quite a pro." "I see," still a little bit confused Brandon greeted Cordelia and Wesley, whom he remembered from their meeting years ago. Then his eyes fell on Faith. "She too?," he gazed at Angel. "Yes, she knows too. They all work for me," the ex-vampire told him. "Seems the business is blooming. It's a disturbing thought, you know. So many things most people are oblivious to." Buffy shrugged, "That's the way it goes. Same old, same old." "Yes, well," the magistrate walked over to his desk and picked up the phone. "Muriel, would you please come in to witness a wedding. Yes, a wedding. I know, I know, but this is a special case. ... Thanks." He looked up and smiled, "Muriel is my secretary. Usually I don't do weddings anymore, but in your case ... it's really a honour. Would you all sit down please," he motioned towards the chairs in front of his desk, then with a smile sat down in his. When Muriel entered the room he quickly flashed her a smile, "Ah, there you are. Please find a seat," then glancing at Angel, he asked, "are you ready?" Both, slayer and ex-vampire nodded and then suddenly grinned at each other when they heard Cordelia sniffling behind them. Faith gazed at her curiously, but the fromer mayqueen only shrugged, "I'm emotional. I mean, Angel and Buffy are getting married, if that isn't a reason to spend some tears ... well, besides the gross-factor of course, the fact that Buffy will be some kind of boss now, and ..." "Thank you Cordelia, I think we all understood," Wesley interrupted her, but he had a smile on his face when he said it. "Fine," the brunette sniffled again. "I just wanted you to know that I'm really happy about it." "Thank you, Cordelia," Angel and Buffy said unison. "Alright then," the magistrate opened a book on his desk and began to read. Many words to remind them what marriage was about, why it shouldn't be done without love and so on. The couple didn't hear any of it. Both were deep in their thoughts. Buffy remembered the first moment she'd seen Angel, when he'd stalked her in the dark alley behind the bronze and given her the cross she was still wearing. Their first kiss, her initial shock when finding out he was a vampire, the many times he'd held her in his arms, he'd saved her life, their patrols with heavy make-out sessions. The night at the docks when he'd given her the ring she was wearing on her finger, the first time he'd told her he loved her, Angelus, sending him to hell, getting him back. More and more images were rushing through her head. Angel laying in his bed in the mansion, almost dying from the poisoned arrow, beating him so that he would give in and drink her blood, the moment he'd disappeared in

the smoke after defeating the mayor. But there were not only the images but with them the emotions came rushing back. All the love, the agony, the misery, the loss seemed to be poured over her head and when she realised that the magistrated was looking at her expectantly, she had to wipe tears away. Quickly glancing at Angel she saw that his eyes were watery as well. He'd probably thought the same. And now, after all this, after so many years of separation they'd finally made it. They were together again. And they would be married soon. Her dreams were really coming true. Another rush of anger against Willow and Giles welled up in her, she'd come so close to loose all this. But no, she decided, not today. No heavy thoughts on a wonderful day like this. Buffy and Angel spoke their vows and exchanged rings. Two simple gold bands which they wore together with their silver Claddaghs now. "You may kiss the bride now," the magistrate said to Angel with a smile. The ex-vampire turned and their eyes met. Their lips touched in a gentle, sweet kiss that was a promise of more to come, of a life together, of eternal love. When their lips parted their foreheads stayed connected. Deeply gazing into each others eyes they smiled at each other. Not everything was right in their world, but today nothing seemed to count. Today was their day, a wedding that seemed like a phantasy some years ago had become reality. They would deal with their problems tomorrow, but today they had become husband and wife and at the moment none of them could think of anything more important. END of this story.

The day before yesterday and yesterday are not the same as today. - Swahili proverb

Cordelia was shielding her eyes when she and Gunn entered the Hyperion Hotel about two weeks after the wedding. "What's the matter with you?," her boyfriend eyed her curiously. "Just a precaution," she replied and peeped through her spreaded fingers. When she saw nothing a breath of relief left her mouth. "Can you please tell me now what this nonsense was about?," Gunn shook his head at the brunette and strolled over to the sofas in the lobby. A glance at the clock told him it was already after nine and no trace of Buffy and Angel. He couldn't suppress the grin that spread across his face. "It's exactly that," Cordelia glared at him and pointed at his face. "This honeymoon during work business. I can't even count how often during the last two weeks I entered this building and interrupted ... something." "Something, huh?," Gunn's grin grew even wider. "Really, Cordy, one wouldn't

believe you're almost thirty. You behave like some teenager." "Don't," she narrowed her eyes at him, "you ever talk about my age again! Do you hear me! Not in public that is." He sighed and shook his head, "It's nobody here. Besides all the people working here know your age." "Maybe, but that doesn't mean I don't need to be careful. I'm sure you'd have said the same in some dance-club. I don't look like thirty and I don't need a boyfriend who's running around, announcing it like some public news." Gunn held up a hand in defense, "Alright, alright. I try not to forget it again." Turning towards the kitchen he muttered under his breath, "Women. Who'll ever understand them." "Morning Cordy," Faith greeted from the stairs as she came down. "Hi," Cordelia didn't look up from the letters she was flipping through. Bills, bills, bills, she thought annyoed. "Anything special last night?," she asked not really interested. Ever since Buffy's and Angel's wedding the demon business was low. Faith, who'd taken over slaying for the last two weeks had only staked one single vampire and decapitated two demons. "No," the brunette slayer shook her head. "Absolutely nothing. It's as if the evil's taken a honeymoon as well." "God," the former mayqueen groaned, "I really didn't need this!" "Huh?," Faith asked confused. What the hell was she talking about? "Honeymoon for the evil," Cordelia tried to explain. When there was still no understanding on the other woman's faith, she let out an exasperated sigh, "Dense much? Honeymoonn! You know what people do on honeymoons right." She pointed at the stairs. "We've got the living example around. They spent their time in bed, doing ...," she gestured with one hand, "well, whatever they're doing. It's gross enough the way it is, but thinking that demons actually ...," she trailed off and gave Faith a pointed look. "Oh. OH!," the brunette slayer's eyes widened, then she suddenly giggled. "Just think about it ... some of them have horns, spikes ... it could be very painful ..." "Stop it! Now!," Cordelia yelled and glared at Faith. "I said I don't need this." "Yo, Cordy, what's this all about?," Gunn came back from the kitchen carrying three cups of coffe. Handing them over to the women he asked, "Did something happen on patrol? Or what else is the reason for this?" "Nothing," his girlfriend snapped. "Everything's peachy. You better look at this," she pointed at the letters on her desk. "When they don't come out of their seventh heaven soon, we're going to be flodded with bills." "Calm down," her boyfriend wasn't about to listen to her. "It's not as if we're broke. Actually I think, Angel's got more money than we know. I mean just look at this," with the coffee cup in his hand he gestured around. "All the renovation inside here. It must have cost a fortune." Cordelia quickly glanced at him then thoughtfully tipped her chin with the tip of her index-finger. "You know. I never really thought about it." *

Upstairs Buffy giggled into the crock of Angel's neck and a smile spread over the ex-vampire's face. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever been so happy before. Although they were staying at home for their honeymoon - and Angel had vowed that he would make it up for her soon - he'd never felt so relaxed and content before. They had been living together for some months before their wedding, but somehow the little gold band they both were wearing on their third fingers now made all the difference for him. Maybe it was his Irish-catholic upbringing, but maybe it was just that it seemed more official now, as if there was nothing to tear them apart again. Whatever the reason was, Angel was happy, deliriously so. Holding his wife in his arms while he slept, falling asleep and waking up beside her ... this had to be heaven, he decided and a content sigh escaped his mouth. "What do you think," he said and turned to look at Buffy, "do we get up or not?" His wife grinned at him, "I dunno," she replied, not at all looking as if she had the intention to leave the bed any time soon. His hand trailed down from her shoulder, over the side of her breasts and finally touched her hipbone, sending wonderful shivers allover her body. "You're insatiable, you know," he scolded playfully and smiled. "Hmmm," she made like a cat enjoying a sunbath, streching arms and legs. The sight was incredibly erotic to him. Would he ever get enough of her, he wondered? It wasn't as if they hadn't made good use of the king-sized bed the previous night, and all the other nights before, but he still wanted her. No, he would certainly never get enough of her. "You're just so yummy," she said looking at him again, drawing patterns on his chest with her index-finger. Angel suppressed a moan, took the finger and kissed it. "We really should get up, love. Did you forget we have to drive to Sunnydale today?" "Did you have to remind me?," the playfullness was instantly forgotten. "Do we really have to go?," she all but whined. "It's Giles' and Willow's wedding. Do you really want to miss it?," he asked kissing her palm. "No," she replied non too happy. "I don't think so. But I don't look forward to it either. I really, really hate it, Angel. This is about Willow. She was my best friend almost as long as I can remember. I didn't really have friends before I came to Sunnydale." She placed her chin on his chest and looked at him, "Before I was called I wasn't really someone you'd have liked to know." He reached out and pushed a strand of hair from her face, "Wrong," he smiled. "I loved you the moment Whistler showed you to me. I could see your soul, your heart. You might have been shallow in your eyes, but you were nothing but a normal teenager. Innocent," he paused a moment and his index-finger brushed her cheek. "I often wished I could've kept you from all the things you had to suffer from. But of course it was in vain. You are the slayer." "I don't," she replied, "want it any other way, I mean." When she saw him raise a brow, she amended, "alright, alright, there are some things, I would like to change, sending you to hell for example," she said and was surprised how easy it went over her lips. I must be really happy, she decided. "But all in all it brought us here and I don't want to trade it for the world. This is the Buffy and Angel live happily ever after." She leaned forward and brushed her lips over his. Replacing her chin on his chest she sighed, "And that brings us back to Willow. I know what she did and I also

know she had good intentions or mostly so, but that doesn't change the fact that we would've missed this chance if I hadn't accidentally found that letter." She sighed again. "But I miss her. I miss my best friend, Angel. And I miss Giles. He was the father, I never had. The feeling these two special people betrayed me hurts. God, it really hurts." "I know," he stroked her hair. "But maybe you should at least try to let the past rest. We cannot let it rule our lives, Buffy. Otherwise we'll be stuck in it and miss the present." She looked at him in a mixture of love and annoyance, "Now you'll go all wise on me again. And it sounds very good, but ..." "It's not easy, I know," he let his finger trail over her eyebrows. "But then, life isn't easy. It never was. Nobody knows that better than you. And you also know that anything can happen. You should try to make peace with them, Buffy. You made the first step when whe went there to slay the demon, maybe it's time for the second. A wedding is the perfect setting, don't you think. It could be your wedding present for them. If I guess right, you couldn't give them anything better." "Maybe," she replied not yet ready to agree. But she would think about it on their way to Sunnydale, she decided. "Don't you think it's ... I dunno ... odd, to see Willow married to Giles. He's old enough to be her father." "And I'm old enough to be your ...," he shook his head and grimaced, "let's not even go there." "But you don't *look* old, Angel. We're looking like the perfect match. Giles has gray hair already. And Willow isn't even thirty. What if they have children? I know Willow wants children. When people'll see Giles with them, they will think he's their grand-father." "But that's not really important, is it? Buffy, they love each other and that's the only thing that counts. Age is only a number. They've both lost people they loved. With Giles we only know about Jenny, but there's probably been someone else before. And Willow lost Oz and then Tara. They didn't die, but still she lost them. And now they both have found love together. We should be glad, Buffy." "I am," she replied, "Believe me, I am. The problem is, I can still remember Willow and I standing in front of the library and rolling our eyes at Giles kissing Miss Calender. We didn't even want to think about his love life then and now she's marrying him. It's just so strange." "But they have a lot in common," he reminded her. "The slaying, she is bookish as well ... up to a certain amount ... they both are interested in magic ... *and* they share a lot of history. A lot happened the last 13 years." "I guess," she bit her lower lip. "Well, it's their life, so ...," she trailed off and a mischieveous glimpse appeared in her eyes, there was enough time for heavy thoughts about her watcher and the witch later. "You want to shower with me?" * "There you are. At last!," Cordelia exclaimed when ex-vampire and slayer descended the stairs an hour later. Pointing at her watch, she added, "You realise whe need to leave in about half an hour, right? Wesley just called. He'll be here soon and take Faith with him." "Oh joy," the brunette slayer sighed, "A two-hour drive with Wesley. The

fulfillment of my dreams." Ignoring Faith's comment, Angel quickly glanced at the mail and with a small frown turned towards his office, "I'm going to transfer some money from my private accounts to the business account, so that you can pay all this," he said over his shoulder. Gunn grinned and gave his girlfriend an "I-said-you-so"-look. "Angel man, I hope nobody expects me to wear a suit or something like that," he said with a hint of worry in his voice. It wasn't that he didn't have a suit, he even had a tux, Cordelia had insisted on it, but he hated it dearly. "No," Buffy answered in her husband's place. "The wedding will take place in the house of Willow's parents. It's not very traditional or formal as Willow is jewish and Giles not. They decided to have nothing religious." "Good to hear. So you think, I'm okay like this? I wasn't sure if I was invited anyway," Gunn glanced at his girlfriend, "but Cordy insisted on it." "Willow invited the whole L.A.-crew," the blonde slayer replied. "There aren't many guests. Some relatives of hers, Xander, Anya, we ...," she shrugged, "fighting demons doesn't really expand your circle of friends." "I'm just going to get my jacket, then we can go," Angel announced when he came back. "Ah, Wesley," he greeted the ex-watcher who just entered the hotel. He wore a black suit and a tie. "Hello together," he smiled, then gazed at Faith, "You ready?" "Sure," she got up, "see you all in Sunnydale then." **** The Rosenberg-residence was already filled with guests when Angel, Buffy, Cordelia and Gunn arrived. They spotted Wesley in a corner talking to an elderly woman and Faith seemed to enjoy a conversation with Anya. With their pasts they certainly had some stories to share, Buffy thought, when she glanced around. The most people were unknown to her, Willow's relatives, she guessed. Suddenly she spotted Giles who was talking to Mr. Rosenberg in a corner. The same minute he looked up and spotted her and an uncertain smile appeared on his face. "There's Giles," Buffy said to Angel and the ex-vampire felt her squeezing his hand. "Buffy," the watcher greeted her and extended his hand. After a second of hestitation she took it and then the others exchanged handshakes as well. "It's so good to see you all. Willow wasn't sure you'd really come." "We wouldn't miss it," Angel replied after a short glance at his wife. He suddenly realised that none of the Sunnydale-people knew about it. "Thanks for the invitation." "You're welcome," Giles' smile was genuine now. "We're so glad you came. Especially you," his eyes were on Buffy, "maybe ...," he started but then broke off, not sure if it was the right time to talk about it. But Buffy had made a decision this very minute, "Yes," she said and smiled back. "I would like that too," she answered the unspoken question. "We both would like it very much. And I would like to see Willow, where is she?" "Upstairs in her old room," he answered.

"Okay, so I'll be there for a second. We have some news by the way, maybe Angel can tell you and I'm going to tell Willow?," the question was directed towards her husband, who nodded with a smile. Everything would be alright. "Sure, just go," Angel blew her a kiss and she disappeared up the stairs. While Cordelia and Gunn joined Xander, who was joking around with a tall man about his own age, Giles turned to the ex-vampire. "News?," he asked. "Yes, well," Angel felt a bit uncomfortable. He wasn't so sure if it had been a good idea to marry like he and Buffy had, but it had been her decision, it was done and there was no way around it. "Giles," he said and quickly glanced at his left hand. "Buffy and I got married two weeks ago in L.A." In response the watcher just stared at him. * "Married? Like with vows and all, married?," Willow asked incredolously and stared at the blonde slayer sitting in front of her. "Yeah," Buffy nodded. "It was a very spontaneous decision, Will. Over night, you could say, and Angel knew this lay magistrate who ..." "And you didn't even tell me," there were tears in the red-head's eyes now. "Will, I'm so..." the blonde was about to apologize, but Willow interrupted her. "No. That's not what I meant. I really hurt you, didn't I," her voice was only a whisper, "I think I didn't realise it until now." She took her girlfriend's hand, "Buffy, I'm so very sorry. Giles and I talked about this, before and after your last visit and I thought about it a lot. I know now it was wrong, but it seemed so ... reasonable at that time. And it was a bit selfish too. I," she unhappily shook her head, "when you found out I was too stubborn to see you were right. And I now realised why. Because I didn't want to face the guilt. I didn't want to be responsible for the hurt you went through. But I understand now that we can't go on if we don't face it. And we need to go on ... or at least I hope we will?," she finished and the uncertainty was written allover her face. "We'll try, okay?," Buffy replied and smiled. "In an hour we'll both be married. Xander is too. We'll probably all have children in some years and I want them to play with each other, to be the good friends to each other we were." "Oh, Buffy," Willow sniffed and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Oh, no," the slayer said, "I didn't want to make you cry. Now you're going to ruin your makeup with it." "Doesn't matter," the red-head smiled through her tears, "I'm so happy. This is the best present today. I've got my best friend back and I promise from now on, I'll be only supportive to you and Angel." She grinned but then she remembered something and a line of worry appeared on her forehead. "Oh, Buffy, there's one thing. Blame it on me or the pre-wedding confusion, but I ... well, I think I made a mistake." * "She seems very happy," was the first thing Giles said after he'd gotten over the initial shock. "We are," Angel confirmed. "It's almost unreal."

A sad look was in the watcher's eyes, "I always hoped...," he trailed off and took a deep breath. "But that's not really important. The only thing that counts is that she's happy now." "Giles," the ex-vampire laid a hand on the Brit's shoulder. "It was only a short, formal wedding in a lay magistrate's office. Buffy wanted it that way, but I want a real wedding for her - probably soon. I only wanted her to make peace - real peace - with you and Willow first. She misses you. She was hurt and tried to deny it, but she misses you each day. After her father's neglection and her mother's death you were her family. I'm so glad this is over now. So you will see her to be wed, I promise." "Angel," the watcher said truly moved. "I really hope you're right and we'll be able to move on from here. It's very important for Willow too, you know." The ex-vampire nodded and was about to tell Giles that the women were probably taling about it right now, when Xander's voice interrupted them, "Hey, ex-Dead-Boy," he said good-naturedly, the word not an insult anymore, "Nice to see you." "Xander," Angel nodded at him, then at Anya and at the unfamiliar man behind her. He was good looking, with brown hair and green eyes, he looked like every mother's dream of a son-in-law. "Hi," the ex-vampire said to him and was surprised when an uncomfortable silence settled over them. Inwardly shrugging he extended his hand, "Hi, I'm Angel." "Hello," the man took the hand and shook it. "I'm Brian." "Uhm ... maybe I should introduce you properly," Xander said after a second. "Brian this is Angel ... er ...," he looked at the ex-vampire, "Do you even have a last name?" "Conneely," Angel replied with a grin. "Right," Xander nodded. "Okay so, that's Angel Conneely, Angel, this is Brian Williams. He was ... uhm ...," he paused a moment and then after taking a deep brath said, "Buffy's fiance." One of Brian's brows shot upward and he curiously looked at the tall, dark stranger in front of him, "You know Buffy?" "I ... uh," Angel wasn't sure what he should say now. Buffy obviously hadn't told Brian anything about him. But he was spared the answer when he felt a hand on his arm. "Hi Brian," Buffy said softly and smiled at her ex-boyfriend. "Nice to see you." "Buffy," his eyes were soft as well and Angel had to suppress the sudden pang of jealousy he felt seeing them together. But then his eyes fell on the little gold band on her left hand and he relaxed. They were together now, nothing else counted. "I see you've already met Angel," she entwined her fingers with her husband's. "Angel and I were married two weeks ago." "You were...," Brian was obvioulsy stunned. Quickly recovering from the news he took a deep breath, leaned forward and kissed her cheek, "Congratulations." Then turning towards Angel the two men's eyes met and held, "And to you. You've got an extraordinary woman. You're a lucky man." There was only honesty in his voice and eyes and so the ex-vampire said "Thanks. I know." Leading his wife's hand to his mouth he kissed it.

"All the best from us too," Xander said, pointing at himself and his wife, "Cordy just told us." He grinned, "Somehow I knew it all the time. Nothing would really keep you and Dead-Boy apart." Everyone had to grin at his remark, then Mr. Rosenberg came to get Giles for the ceremony and Xander went with them as he was chosen to be the best man. Who would've thought, Buffy grinned inwardly. Xander is Giles' best man! The ceremony was lovely, Willow wore a knee-length dress in pale-pink that suited her pale skin. Her eyes were radiant with love shining from them when she looked at Giles and all doubts Buffy had harboured before vanished in an instant. She held Angel's hand throghout the ceremony and they exchanged glances from time to time. Gunn on the other hand tried to ignore the looks he got from his girlfriend. He loved her, but a marriage wasn't the kind of commitment he wanted at the moment. He was far too young for it. He would watch the older ones for a while, he decided with a side-glance towards Angel and Giles. When Willow and Giles spoke their vows Buffy saw a tear slip from the red-head's face and unconsciously the slayer's gaze wandered to her husband and saw him smiling down on her. 'I love you', he mouthed. 'Love you too,' she mouthed back. END of this story! It really shouldn't bother him, Angel told himself about the tenth time that day. There was nothing about it. Then why couldn't he stop thinking of it? He blinked and focussed on the file he was holding in his hands, realising that he had been staring at the same page for over an hour. With a frustrated sigh he put the papers down and rubbed his eyes with his index-fingers, then moved them to massage his temples, where he could feel a headache starting. God, he hated this. Humanity was a good thing - most of the time. He could see the sun, he could stroll along the beach, and last but by no means least it had given him the oportunity to get back together with Buffy. This was certainly the real award of redemption. But sometimes ... now for example ... humanity sucked. Headaches were something he had to get used to again, he didn't have them often, but still. He thought about the many times Cordelia had suffered from them receiving the messages from the Powers and a frown appeared on his forehead. How had she managed to stand it? The hotel was blessedly quiet. Faith had gone shopping, she'd decided she needed to be alone to find something *she* actually wanted. Wesley was in Sunnydale researching some demon with Giles and Cordy and Gunn had chosen to go out for lunch. As for Buffy ... Angel stopped rubbing his temples and with a sigh leaned back in his chair closing his eyes. There wasn't a demon inside of him anymore and yet he could clearly remember all the different variations of tortures his other persona had inflicted throughout the centuries. Why on earth was he thinking about it now, he wondered but instantly grimaced. He knew exactly why and wanted to slap himself for it. He wasn't a jealous person, he told himself. Yeah, sure, humor yourself! Not jealous, no, not at all. He shook his head, got up and walked over to the kitchen to get himself a cup of coffee, then stopped his hand before pouring it. Maybe coffee wouldn't be the

best choice right now. You're really pathetic, Angel! You're behaving as if something bad's going to happen. Nothing is going to happen. She's just out for lunch. She'll be back in an hour and that's it then. Yeah, sure, whom are you kidding? Sighing again he decided for a glass of water and walked back into his office. Of course he wasn't really jealous. Buffy and he were happy together, a marriage couldn't be any more perfect, they loved each other tremendously and still it bugged him. You're behaving irrationally, he scolded himself staring out of the window and watching the cars and people pass by but not really seeing them. She's gone to have lunch with him. They talk. Period. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone entering the hotel. He turned and walked into the lobby and did a double take when he saw Willow standing there, her face still wearing the traces of tears. "Angel," she sniffed. "Willow? What happened?" "I need to talk to Buffy," she told him with a quivering voice. "Buffy isn't around, she's having lunch with ...," he inwardly winced, no, don't think about it. Willow is distressed, she needs your help. "She's out for lunch and won't be back for another hour." "Oh," the red-head looked at him for a moment and then burst into tears. Feeling helpless for a moment, Angel gently put a hand on her arm and guided her to one of large leather sofas he'd bought some years ago. "Now, now," he soothed her, "sit down, Willow. Can I get you something. Coffee, tea, some water?" "No," she shook her head, her face still burried in her hands. "But thanks," she sniffed and finally looked at him. He gave her an encouraging smile and handed her a tissue, "Maybe you can tell me," he suggested. "It's more of a girl thing really," she began and Angel felt himself blush. "Oh ... I mean ... uh ... then you should probably wait for Buffy or ... Cordelia ... yes Cordelia should be here any minute." Now she had to smile, "No, Angel. It's not what you think. Not *that* girl thing, but I thought it'll maybe easier to talk to another woman about it and Buffy's still my friend." "Oh," he smiled a bit sheepishly. "Alright then. I'm good at listening." She fought with fresh tears for a moment but then caught herself and with a deep breath the words came out in a rush, "I think Rupert might probably have an affair." Angel could only stare at her. He blinked. Twice. And still couldn't completely proceed her words. Slowly he shook his head, "I can't believe that, Willow," he said finally. "Whatever made you believe it?" "I found lipstick on one of his jackets a week ago. I didn't ask him about it, just thought he might have met an old friend of sorts. But then he had this handkerchief in his pocket, it was from a woman, I could still smell the perfume." She sniffed again and rubbed her nose with the tissue.

"Couldn't it have been yours...," he mused. "Angel," now she looked a bit offended. "Don't you trust me to know my own perfume? I can assure you it wasn't mine." "But it's probably nothing. I mean, Rupert Giles having an affair is as likely as ...," his voice trailed off and he winced slightly. "What?," she asked. He sighed, "I wanted to say as a vampire becoming human, but it's not helping, is it?" She gave him a pointed look, "No, maybe some years ago, but seeing you sitting right in front of me..." "Yeah," he released a breath. "No, but honestly, Willow. Giles loves you. You've been married for four weeks only. He might have been Ripper once, but," Angel shook his head, "no way he's betraying you." "You sure of this?," she asked not completely convinced but looking happier than before. "Hundred percent," he replied and squeezed her hand. "He loves you. Thinking he's betraying you is no more likely than the thought of Buffy doing something like that to me," he told her and suddenly had to smile, then began to chuckle. At Willow's curious and slightly amused look he laughed, "Buffy's out for lunch with Brian. He called her yesterday to meet him and ever since she's left I can't do nothing but thinking what they might do together. They were engaged once and about to marry." Now it was Willow's term to laugh, "No way. Buffy loves you. Angel...," He nodded, "I know. I know that, Willow. I know I was behaving irrationally, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Until now." She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Good for you." "Maybe you should call Giles and let him know where you are?," Angel suggested. "I'm doing better than that. I'm going back to Sunnydale now. He and Wesley are so engrossed in some demon-stuff they probably haven't even noticed that I left. And I'm just going to ask him about the lipstick and the tissue. Give Buffy my love," she said on her way out and then was gone. * Only five minutes later the door opened again and Buffy stepped into the lobby. "Hi," she greeted him softly and put her arms around his neck. "Hi," he said and smiled. "How was your lunch?" "Nice," she replied and sighed, enjoying the closeness. "Brian told me he's met this great woman and that he was okay now with what happened between us." "That's great," he pulled her close. "You're awfully relaxed today," she looked at him sceptically. "Yesterday when I told you about Brian you were so tense, I thought you'd break if I touched you." He smiled in response, "Sometimes things happen that tend to righten your

perspective," he said cryptically. "Huh?" Angel just shook his head, "Willow says hi." "Willow?," Buffy raised a brow. "She came to see you. There were some ... uh ... problems. But as you weren't here, I could help her." "Oh?" "Hmmm," he made. "But you're back now and there's nobody around exept us," he said, a wicked expression entering his eyes. "Angel?" She giggled. "Whatever could we do with the whole hotel empty and us on your own?" Now she grinned, "I guess you'll show me, won't you?" "You can bet," he replied. When Cordelia and Gunn reached the door of the Hyperion hotel all they heard was Buffy's loud shriek and Angel's deep laughter. The couple looked at each other and shook their heads, then backed away towards their car. No way they would risk to interrupt what was obviously happening behind that door. END