Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesnt mean I own it. Pure fan love here.

Story: Life would have been much simpler if The Great Purge had never happened. The Old Religion says for a life, there must be a death. But restarting a life makes a rebirth. Merlin goes back in time, saves Igraines life, and returns to her time thinking things will be normal. It never is. Set as an AU combined time-travel, genderbending fic. Spoilers: Yes, yes, yes all seasons. Warnings: Age disparity, cursing and violence for nowhm, just in case since Im usually writing it, bit of crazy humor, perverted humor, morbid or sarcastic humor, and maybe some sexual situations Pairings: Uther/Merlin, Lancelot/Gwen, Arthur/Freya, Gwaine/Morgana

Chapter One: Lightning Doesnt Strike Twice Merlin blinked slowly, staring blankly at Arthurs still body. The other knights were as still as her King and she didnt have the ability to look away from any of them, but especially Arthur. Gwens body lay broken on the other side of the room. Even Morgana, who had been their enemy until she sacrificed her life right near the end in a futile attempt to save them, was lying on the ground near them, still and cold. She choked back a cry and decided that she couldnt break down here, with their bodies in front of her like sacrificial lambs in this ritual room. She backed away slowly, before running away full speed. Once shed taken comfort in another room, bare and barren thank goodness, she leaned against a wall and slid down on it, crumbling into a crying mess on the floor. Her mind raced over the last hour, trying to remember every detail of what had happened. Ealdortheyd been told it had been wiped out and so they rode out to see for themselves. They found it to be true, much to her horror, and then theyd followed the tracks that lead to this abandoned ruin of a castle. Mordred and Morgana had been waiting for them. Theyd all fought hard, but it was starting to become visible that something was very, very wrong. Mordred looked more than unstable and began muttering under his breath to himself. Then, without warning, more power began to seep out of him and she was straining to keep him from completely lashing out, especially since she also had to protect the others from the magic being thrown at them. And then Mordred started to lose control and it was obvious his sanity had slipped. She hadnt known why, but for some reason Morgana had jumped right in front of the fatal attack that Mordred had unleashed against them all. She had never been able to figure out what Morgana was thinking, and this time was no different Merlin had taken that time to send an attack towards Mordred, and it had wounded him severely, but he sent one last wave of power that caught her off guard and thrown her against a stone wall harshly. When she regained her bearings, Mordred was a moment from death and everyone already was. Now she was all alone and unsure what to do. She was torn between grieving and wanting to find a way to join the rest of them, or actually being active and trying to find a way to fix things with magic like always. But nothing could fix this. Not even magic, because she would need a lot of deaths to restore that balance of an equation

Somethingsomethingthere had to be something she had to do! Anything. She couldnt sit there and twiddle her thumbs, wasting time by, when in the other room were her loved ones, lying stone cold dead on the castle floor. Maybe if shed been stronger, had been able to start learning at an earlier time so that she knew more than she currently did. And that couldve happened if there had never been The Great Purgeand that had startedbecause of Uthers grief and anger over Igraines death and Nimuehs trickery. Her life, everyones life wouldve been so much happier. She would have been free to use magic, Morgana wouldnt have had to fear about her prophetic powers that became more as she lived under Uthers roof, Gaius couldve stayed with Alice, Uther would not be so grief-stricken and end up causing genocide and all while keeping Igraine, and Arthur would have a mother growing up It was perfect. This was perfect. All she had to do was go back in time, stop Igraine from dying, and things will be alright. Better than alright! She would just have to find a handful of sand, use the Cup of Life and pour water from it onto the sand, and a strand of Arthurs hair as a focusAnd keep a clear and focused mind, of course. She forced herself to go back into the room where everyone were, unhappily going over to Arthurs body. Tears blinded her eyes as she slowly and reluctantly bent down, and reached out with trembling hands to pluck a strand of blond hair from her Kings head. She ran away straight after. Over the course of the next two days, she began setting up the ritual. When she was done, she immediately decided to go through with it, kneeling in front of the mound of sand within the circle surrounding her. She delicately placed Arthurs hair on top of the sand mound and reached for the Cup of Life. She slowly and carefully started spilling water from it onto the sand, directly onto the hair, and chanted quietly while doing so. Then she closed her eyes, clearing her mind of everything but what she was doing, until shed cleared that too and started to focus on one singular thought. Take me to Arthurs birth, take me to Arthurs birth, take me to Arthurs birth She repeated it over and over in her head, single-mindedly keeping it at the forefront of her mind. The sand had been to represent the Sands of Time, Arthurs hair as to where to who and where in time, and water from the Cup of Life to give life to her ritual and jumpstart her travel through time. When she started feeling the magic starting to build up and the water had all gone from the cup, she placed both her hands gently onto the wet sand, directly onto Arthurs hand, and at the point of contact her hands started to glow a golden color. Then it spread until her entire self glowed, and then suddenly the light swirled around and then burst outwards and became blinding as it encompassed the entire room.

When Merlin next awoke, she was in front of Camelots castle, the night raining harshly upon the city. The roar of the Questing Beast sounded in the distance and she heard the distressed cries of a newly born baby, followed by the howls of a grieving widowed husband and new father. Without another second to lose, she ran through the entrance of the castle, dodging passed the startled guards that called after her and followed her. She didnt stop until she followed the cries of both man and child, flying passed everything until she was by Igraines side. She ignored the sight of Gaius, her old friend and uncle, and of the momentarily startled King who quickly began to draw on his anger. Who are you?! She paid him no attention, focusing on the woman whod just given birth and had presently died moments before her entrance. She prepared her magic and took a deep breath, her eyes turning gold. Magic! How dare you? No more magic! she barely heard Uther scream at her. And then she placed lightly glowing hands onto Igraines chest and concentrated. The Old Religion dictates for a life, there must be death. Igraine had died, but who is to say that Merlin couldnt give her a second chance at life and make it a rebirth? It was the first time shed looked at that loophole and attempted to basically cheat the Old Religion. The impact caught her off guard and she flew to the ground with the King heavily pinning her down to the floor with his weight, though it wasnt too hard with her dazed from the hit her head had taken from the stone. S-Sire! Igraine Gaius words thankfully saved her from any other harm Uther could have done to her, as he became distracted with seeing what his old friend was talking about. It still wouldve been nice if he got off her too. He was rather heavy and her head was still pounding Igraine? she heard him, still on top of her, say in disbelief. Uther? a weak but kind voice questioned tiredly. Job well done, Merlin. Another day saved, she congratulated herself dazedly, not really all there or thinking about the others. And then she passed out, pretty sure she had a concussion. When her eyes opened, she was kind of surprised to be on a luxurious bed in an extravagant room, blinking slowly at the bright light pouring in from the windows. She could feel her head

had been bandaged up and that she was a little confused to find that she was in different clothing than the ones shed worn appearing in that time. Hello. Her head snapped towards the source, which she regretted immediately when the movement caused her to gain a headache. She winced and held her hands to her head, lightly applying pressure. Gaius amused chuckle was slowly coming closer and she felt him tip her head slightly back as he poured something into her mouth. Her headache lessened and she opened her eyes to watch him warily. That was some feat youd managed to pull back there. Youd saved the Queens life, you know. It was very fortunate that you did and that you had managed to make it there in time at all, he continued. Very, very lucky, she muttered. Cutting it a little bit too close for my liking though, she grumbled. That youd made it all the same makes us grateful enough, Gaius retorted with a small smile. But somehow youd managed to give life to someone whose life was owed to the Old Religion. There had beena deal the King and Queen had made, not knowing the exact consequences. Igraines life was the price. And yet, you had managed to save her. Merlin blinked tiredly. The Old Religion said for a life, a life must be taken to keep balance. It claimed the Queens life. There isnt anything to say I cant restart her heart and let her live again. Think of it asa rebirth. Gaius stared at her. You have cheated the Old Religion. It will not forget this, you understand? It will make your life difficult. I know, she sighed. But Ive already had a difficult life. And I have not done anything that was expressly against the rules it cannot fault me that. Stillwho are you to be so adamantly in saving the Queen, to care so much to do such a thing? Gaius asked curiously. How did you even know? Merlin fidgeted in bed, panicking slightly. She hadnt even thought of what would happen after shed saved Igraine. Maybe she thought she would live happily ever after, go back to her own time, or die in the process so she wouldnt somehow end up existing at the same time as little her did Um

He gave his signature eyebrow look at her, the one she was so used to and missed so much. She crumbled. Okay, okay, she gave in. Im from the future. Im your niece from Hunith? And well, technically Im not born yet, since Balinor doesnt flee from Camelot until at least a couple years from now, hides in Ealdor, meets Mother, runs away again and my mother has me in the meanwhile. Im rambling so Ill just say that I came back to the past to save Igraine and make things better for everyone in the long run. Better how? Gaius deadpanned, still processing the rest of what she said at the same time. Merlin shrugged. I wouldnt have to hide my magic for one. Arthur grows up with both his mum and dad. You can stay with Alice, here, his eyebrows flew up. Uther gets to keep Igraine, can open up more to his son, and will basically not be grief-strickenand end up blinded by his grief and rage that he ends up blaming magic and causing The Great Purge and executing all sorcerers and sorceresses and I wouldnt fear for my life She burst out the last part, speaking rather fast. GreatPurge Gaius blinked at her. Then he gingerly sat down, trying to wrap his head around what hed learned. Then I suppose its a good thing you saved Igraine and saved me from myself, a familiar voice spoke out quietly. Both Gaius and shes heads jerked up and spotted the King sitting silently at the back of the room, having listened to them since the beginning and keeping quiet until then. Gaius cleared his throat nervously. Ah yes. I advise you to rest for the rest of the day, no strenuous movement. Tomorrow, we can see about that. For now, complete bed rest. Try not to sleep too much, its bad for a concussion. Sire, myfuture niece. He bowed and left the room, leaving her alone with the King. She felt as nervous with him as she had in her time, and didnt know what to say to him. You need not be nervous. I amnot your King, he awkwardly said that last part. You may stay here for as long as you want, and recover with the help of the court physician and in the comfort of the castle. You have mine and Igraines thanksand it would please us immensely if you did choose to stay indefinitely. She almost gaped, but remembered this was Uthernever mind a younger and different Uther shed known. She schooled her expression and nodded gratefully at the King. I must take my leave now, however you may call on any of the servants around if you need anything. I will see you later then, he cleared his throat in more awkwardness and then stood up to leave.

Um, Sire, she hesitantly called out. He paused and looked at her, waiting. Whatwhat happened to N-Nimueh? Shed forgotten about the other sorceress role in this whole thing, and now that she remembered she was worried about the High Priestess. Uthers jaw visibly clenched tightly. After Igrainesdeath, I banished her mere moments after in grief. She disappeared without another word. However, I received a message that she is requesting an audience, which I have granted. Merlins eyes widened. Sire, I request that Im at this meeting. You are not well Please, Sire, she tried to make her voice as urgent as she could, looking at him pleadingly. He looked torn, but finally nodded in acquiescence. Very well. Do not strain yourself, and retire at the first sign that you feel unwell. She agreed and refrained from healing her physical injuries instinctively, trying to keep as much magic in her as she could, just in case she had to confront Nimueh or something. When it was time, Uther had sent over a servant to escort her down to the throne room, where Uther sat on his throne and Igraine was surprisingly already better and sitting next to him on hers. A small smile briefly flitted across her lips, before she made her face neutral at her first sighting of Nimueh, standing stoic and silent in front of the monarchs. Merlin could see the quick hint of surprise at the sight of Igraine in the womans eyes, but then she looked blank once more. Merlin took a place in the back, behind the thrones but with a good view of the woman, and leaned against a pillar to mask the pain and exhaustion she was still in. It is a surprise to see you here, Igraine. A good surprise, Nimueh gave a strained smile, once more glancing at the new mother. Yes. A surprise, Uther bit out, glaring at her. Nimuehs smile turned cold and she spoke loftily. I did warn there would be grave consequences. You never told us the rule! You never told us the whole truth! Igraine burst out with her voice shaky and a hint of pain from the betrayal, surprising everyone by speaking at all. Nimueh sighed patronizingly. It is not my duty to speak the words of the Old Religion to nonbelievers. You would have, if youd truly been our friend, Uther spat out angrily. I am a High Priestess of the Order before any friendshipand she should not be alive, Nimueh scowled, glancing at Igraine.

She is. And that wont change, Uther said stiffly, his hand gripping the arm of his throne tightly. Yes, about that. I wonder how that is possible, and what might have happened to make it soor who Both King and Queen stiffened now, but did not reply. Merlin swallowed heavily, glancing around the quiet room and catching sight of Gaius, who was watching Nimueh like a hawk. He was beside someone she vaguely recognized looked a younger Alice. No matter. I will find out, Nimueh said dismissively. But I am sorry it has come to this and that the death was not of my choosing. Liar, Merlin blurted out. All eyes turned to her and she inwardly winced. The Old Religion says a life for a life. High Priestesses and High Priests of the Order are masters of life and death. The Old Religion does not care who, but it is the one performing the ritual who has the ability to make the choice. If you master life and death, the Old Religion grants you that power to choose, as part of the ability of mastering life and death. Nimuehs eyes zeroed in on her and she shivered, feeling like she shouldve just kept her mouth shut. You arevery informed of the ways of the Order, Nimueh murmured, staring at her unnervingly. Oh, horse dung. Merlin winced. She is Gaius 8th cousin removed, from Caerleon, come to visit, Uther cut in. He has taught her muchand it would not be wise to harm to harm Camelots Court Sorcerer relative, no matter how distant the relation it is. Nimueh glanced at him, but didnt comment further. There shouldve been a death. There must be a death, was all she said. And then she pointed at Igraine and muttered an incantation. With further ado, amidst terrified and worried yells, Merlin ignored the rest and gathered all the magic shed kept, using it to propel her over the throne rapidly and in front of the Queen, flinging out her hands and repelling the spell back at Nimueh, who disappeared before it could make contact. Due to magical exhaustion, her previous injuries, and the fact that was one hell of a spell Nimueh sent their way, Merlin immediately fainted and collapsed. Why was it this thing always happened and she was always protecting Pendragons, no matter which one?

Chapter Two: Amazing Grace When she next awoke, she hadnt expected to already have visitors already, much less the Queen and King having (apparently) sat by her side and watched over her the whole time. She was at once surprised and weirded out. Still, it was a nice thought too Oh, youre awake! Igraine smiled and squeezed the hand she was holding gratefully. Merlin gave an awkward smile and squeezed the Queens hand back. If I had known you were to do that or something equally reckless, I would have ordered you to stay in bedhad you not yet again saved my Igraine, Uther said dryly. Her awkward smile turned sheepish and she could only offer him a shrug he rolled his eyes at. Oh, Merlin, my brother is coming later. Id like you to meet him. Hes the oldest of us, then myself, and then our younger brother, Igraine explained eagerly. Huh, she knew Merlins name. Maybe Gaius had told her or theyd heard her when she dazedly congratulated herself after saving Igraine the first time. Not sure about anything, Merlin decided shed go along with it. She really hadnt thought anything through, and she hadnt thought what was going to happen after. Was she stuck there? Thats fine, she mumbled, worrying the other two, who immediately noticed her abrupt change in demeanor. Merlin, whats wrong? Igraine gently asked, as kind and gentle as Merlin had heard from others she would be. I dont know whats going to happen from here, Merlin decided honesty was the best policy for then. I want to go back. Can I go back? What will happen if I go back? What will be different? What will be the same? Or will I be going back to my time that has become completely separate from this time? Or what if Im stuck here? What will I do then? Where will I stay? Where would I go? What would I do? I was being stupid. I hadnt thought anything through. All I knew was that everyone was dead and the thought popped into my head that your death was what caused everything and everyone to be messed up, and if I could prevent it everything would be all better. I just started gathering the materials for the ritual to bring me back in time and just did it. I had no plan. I wasnt thinking. I just did. And now Im lost. I dont know what to do. Merlin was pretty sure her despair was full blown and obvious, and a pretty masochistic part of her brought up Arthur and Gwaines voices, teasing her about being melodramatic.

Embarrassingly, she let out a sob. She missed the looks Igraine and Uther sent each other, before Igraine settled herself closer to the younger woman and pulled her into a hug. Uther then sat on her other side and took one of Merlins hands. Perhaps all that is true, and certainly it is problematic. But this, I can promise you, that if you are stuck here, I will give you sanctuary for as long as you live. You will have a home here, in Camelot, and live in this castle and live and be served as if you are royalty yourself. You will not have to worry about your place in this world, Uther promised to her. Merlin blinked, staring. Oh Goddesses, this Uther was so much nicer How do you guys even know Im telling the truth? she muttered, refusing to acknowledge the pout on her lips. Youre a horrible liar, Igraine surprisingly said. Merlin blinked again. When you first awoke, I heard from several servants the excuses and lies you gave out, trying to get out of bed early, Igraine smiled apologetically. Andeven though Ive only known you for a short timeyour face is such an open book. If Merlin could face palm in Igraines arm, she would have. Instead, she sighed and hung her head. Okay, she wasnt the best liarbut she should be alright. She did okay keeping her magic a secret all those years, didnt she? Fine, okay. I get it. I suck at lying. Gaia, you are just like your son, Merlin full out pouted this time. Igraines eyes lit up and Uther looked at her in intense interest. Please, would you tell me more about him? Igraine eagerly asked. Merlin hesitated, so Uther added on. If you are worried about the future, if you have change things as they were, then the future is different. So you should not have to worry about changing things or telling us something that could affect the future, if things have truly been changed. Merlin winced, but resigned herself to something.

Arthur waskind, they caught the was and frowned. He was also a prat and I remember repeatedly calling him on it, despite him being a prince and me being his maidservant. You were his servant? Igraines eyebrows flew up. Merlin grinned slightly. It was a long story. But their looks prompted her. Involving daggers, vengeful sorceress moms, saving Arthur from bothand apparently King Uther deciding my reward is to be Arthurs servant. Igraine elbowed her husband sharply, giving him a strange look. Uther shrugged at her. I dont know. Im sureI had a good reason for it, Uther gave his alternate future self a lame excuse. And its Uther, as Igraine will be sure to make you call us without a title. It is only right, as we consider you equal for your deeds. Still, Arthur is a male, Igraine frowned. It was rather inappropriate to have assigned such a young, pretty girl as his personal servant. And as it is Igraine, dont forget. It was fine, Merlin reassured them, inwardly rolling her eyes at their insistence. It was easier on me when I had to protect Arthur and save him from danger and assassinations. The royals stared at her in horror and she held up her hands in placation. Another time, she promised. Anyways, he could be a prat, but he had his noble moments especially once he met me and started to change a bit. I never noticed, but a friend of ours noted it and told me. He had your blonde hair, Igraine, and your eyes. But he was totally Uther in attitude and behavior. He wasa good man, Merlin said wistfully, looking off into the distance. Did he die? Igraine hesitantly asked, feeling a pang in her heart at the thought. Its why youd come to this time, Uther murmured, putting it together. He and others, Merlin muttered darkly. Protecting him was my lifes duty. Im sorry I failed and couldnt protect him like I shouldve, she apologized to them. You did what you could. And then youve taken measures to go beyond, coming here and trying to correct all the mistakes that had happened, Uther firmly said. She really did like this Uther. He was human. He wasnt the boogeyman from her childhood, and he wasnt the man she was afraid of and sometimes hated (but mostly felt pity and sorrow for) in the days shed served under him while being Arthurs servant. He had been, at the least, a good man, father, and King. Maybe not to her kind, and maybe Arthur had always felt insecure about his relationship with his father, but Merlin understood the Uther shed known, at least.

They were interrupted by a servant knocking and informing the royals that Igraines brother had arrived and was waiting for them in the hall. Wonderful! Igraine clapped her hands, standing up with a large smile on her face. Merlin, you must meet my brother. Youll like him, Im sure. But hell love you! Uther shook his head at his wife, before turning to the same servant and saying something quietly to them that Merlin couldnt hear. The servant left and returned back with a pretty dress that Merlin looked at curiously. And then the servant was coming towards her with it and she was shaking her head vehemently. No, no, no. That is way too extravagant for me and its hardly the clothes that I can wear to protect you efficiently, Merlin protested. Igraine pouted and it was so strange on the personbut very effective as Merlin was easily caving. Nonsense, itll look gorgeous on you. Besides, you arent a servant here and you more than deserve special treatment. And you arent going to be protecting anyone, Uther said firmly, giving her a look. She grumbled, but really she never really listened to Arthur, she wouldnt be listening to his parents. But she consented to wearing the dress, if only to make up for the not listening to the protecting part (not that they knew that). If Igraine was anything like father and son, and Uther was like the other him Merlin was more familiar with, then she was certain trouble would be attracted to the family. She couldnt afford not to keep them safe, especially since shes changed everything and had already kept them alive so far. She couldnt fail this, not anymore. She allowed the servant to lace up her dress, before waving them off and refusing to get anymore fixed up. She met with Igraine and Uther waiting for her out of her room, and walked with them to the hall, where apparently Tristan de Bois was waiting for them. Merlin bit her lip, lost in thought about the man. She knew absolutely nothing about this person. All she knew was that hed come after Uther, probably around this time, blaming him for Igraines death and challenging him to a duel to the death. Everything else after that was just that hed come back as a wraith, due to Nimuehs doing because the witch had harnessed the mans rage and grief into that form. She frowned at the thought, and inwardly thought more distasteful things about Nimueh

She had to cut her thoughts off when theyd arrived at the doors, that were pushed open to him. She walked behind the King and Queen, showing them deference, when Igraine eagerly grabbed hold of her hand tugged her closer, putting her right by her side. Tristan, brother, Id like you to meet a good friend of mine and Uthers. Shes saved my twice, Igraine reversed her tight grip into something more gentle as she pushed Merlin forward to meet with the tall man. Merlin gave Igraine and Uther a wide-eyed look before she was pushed a little too much and ended up stumbling and bumping into Igraines brother, who steadied her easily. She looked and was about to thank him, when the words died in her throat from her first glimpse of Tristan de Bois. Clear crystal blue eyes, raven hair that was tousled, and a very cut figure made himwow. Her vocabulary was failing her and she could already hear her friends voices laughing at and teasing her. Thank you, she forced out anyways, voice coming out breathily. Youre very welcome, he murmured, eyes never leaving her own blue-eyed gaze. A cough sounded behind them and they looked a moment longer at each other before slowly turning to look at the culprit, though he was still holding onto her. Igraine looked rather surprised but delighted (for whatever reason on both emotion), and Uther was simply observing and a little curious. So, Tristan, this is Merlin. Merlin, my brother, Igraine continued. Tristan and Merlin coughed in embarrassment, taking a step back from each other as he let go of her reluctantly. They exchanged polite pleasantries and then they were being served lunch. When Tristan left to get settled in for his stay and then take a look at Camelots knights a little after, Merlin accompanied Igraine and Uther to Arthurs nursery. She smiled at the sight of the tiny little babe, and her hands itched to grab him and hold him close. But that was first Igraine and Uthers right, so she refrained and kept herself in check. Hes so tiny, Uther whispered in awe, his hands reaching out to get Arthur, before he retracted them and just hesitantly stared at the baby. And even Igraine refrained, staring at her baby tenderly but looking almost afraid to touch him. Merlin couldnt help gaping. Have neither of you even held Arthur since he was born? Merlin asked in confusion. Both parents flinched, but Uther spoke for his quiet wife.

Weve visited him all the time, when we werent with you. We justhave not held him. Weve watched him be changed, fed, and everything. Hes just sotiny and fragile and so delicate. Ive never held a babe before. And Igraine has not either. I was the youngest of my siblings, and Igraine had not been allowed to hold onto Agravaineneither of us wish to just hand Arthurs raising to nannies and caretakers. The two of us had always wanted to be hands on in raising children, but Merlin stared wide-eyed at the monarchs. Well hellshe hadnt exactly expected this. Shed thought at least Igraine would know something, but it seems royal life was not one to teach life lessons like this And well, not being able to hold your child would suck. And what they were not saying was being said loud and clear. They didnt know how, and was afraid to just try. The others taking care of Arthur so far would not think of the royals not being able to hold their child, and would never presume that the two wouldnt know how because of stations. Gaius was likely never told, because they were embarrassed of such a fact. Merlin picked up Arthur showed them clearly where she was placing her arms and hands. And then she rocked baby Arthur, who was quiet and gazing up at her with the most adorable look on his face, a small smile on his little lips. She smiled slightly before she focused back to the present and looked to the two. Igraine stepped up first at Merlins questioning look and hesitantly held out her arms. Merlin gently transferred Arthur over to her, adjusting Igraines hold a little, and then stepping back with a large smile. You just have to let your parental instincts take over, Merlin murmured. Just be a little more confident and everythingll be fine. Igraine cooed at her son and Uther shifted closer, hesitantly reaching out with a gloved hand. Arthurs tiny little hand grabbed onto Uthers and held it tightly, gazing up at him with wide cornflower blue eyes. Hes beautiful, Uther smiled slightly, eyes softening towards his son. Igraine turned and lifted Arthur up to Uther, who hesitated even more before giving in and taking a hold of Arthur. Merlin smiled softly at the family closely standing together. No, she didnt regret doing what she did at all. + + + +

+ + Do you think my mother would be proud of me? Ormy father? Merlin blinked in surprise at the question, but grinned fondly at her King. She ruffled Arthurs blond hair and gave him the most sincerest smile she could. She would think you are the best King in Camelots history, Merlin declared. And your fatherdespite the things he disagreed with and the things you are doing differently from him, His Highness would have been proud of you and loved you to the very end. He gave his life for you and once said you meant more to him than his own life and of the whole kingdom itself. More than Morgana? Arthur bit out bitterly. Merlins smile faltered. Merlin woke up abruptly, feeling herself agitated and the remnants of the dream eating at her long after it was over. Unable to go back to sleep, she paced restlessly in her rooms before fleeing them and going through the memorized route to Arthurs nursery. She blinked back tears as she stood over him, watching the little baby version of a man shed once served faithfully. She reached down tentatively and grabbed onto Arthur, bringing him from the crib to be cradled lovingly in her arms. She spent the rest of the night trying to keep herself from crying, rocking Arthur to comfort herself. She fell asleep in the rocking chair, holding tightly and protectively onto Arthur. It was to this that Igraine and Uther walked into, tear tracks clearly dried onto the Merlins face and their son cozily held in her arms. Arthur was already awake, but clearly comfortable and safe with Merlin, so they just had their breakfast brought into their, with one plate ready for Merlin. They didnt bother waking her up, letting her sleep. They did take Arthur from her, and started feeding him, though Arthur cutely made some fuss for a bit before relenting. Merlin woke sometime after theyd finished breakfast, blearily opening her eyes to see Uther playing an odd eye game with Arthur. Peek-a-what? she mumbled, letting out a yawn after. Peek-a-boo, Uther corrected, still playing with his son. Igraine just watched happily, enjoying the moment. Okay, okay Im getting tired, Arthur, Uther sighed, ticking his sons nose. You know, I dont even know if you guys were alright naming him that. I just sort of came in and name him for you, just because I knew the future or something, Merlin winced.

Igraine waved it off. Dont worry. Its a fantastic name and Uther and I hadnt been sure of names before anyway. It was on my list of potential boy names, Uther revealed. Merlin hmmed, starting to make sparkly lights for Arthur, who clapped his tiny hands together and watched with wide eyes. Merlin smiled fondly, as did Uther and Igraine who were watching the interactions. She started to make shapes and then things with the lights, before she started creating pictures. She created an entire adventure with them, making knights and horses and princesses Later, she had decided she was going to go to the training grounds and see how Camelots knights faired against the ones she remembered from the future, curious to see the difference. Instead, she was seeing Tristan again. He was sparring against one of the knights, shirt off as he elegantly danced around and parried and thrust with his sword against his opponent. The fight was obviously in his favor, and he was clearly an experienced and very talented fighter. She was actually impressed and might actually reluctantly say Tristan was better than his nephew. Well, Arthur of the future. He took down his opponent, who finally yielded. He caught sight of her and started jogging over, surprising her by doing so. Should you be coming over to here? Merlin raised an eyebrow. Tristan stopped by her side and gave her a grin. I dont see why not. You are here. I wanted to come over. Her lips twitched up. Touch. Youre pretty good out there. Why thank you, milady, his eyes were twinkling. I was just wondering...are you married, Lady Merlin? Im not a Lady, she corrected. And no, Im not. Ive never actuallyhad time for much romance, she frowned, thinking on it. Truth be told, she really had been too busy thinking about her duty and saving everyone all the time to really go out dating anyone. There had been Edwinand Freyanandactually, that was pretty much it. There was a little flirting with Gwaine in the beginning, but afterwards shed been too focus on her duty (again) to really start anything serious. And Arthur

Shed been told by plenty people that the Prince/King had affections for her, but shewell, just a littlebust mostly she didnt (and Gaia, did she feel like there was something honestly wrong with her that she couldnt return Arthurs feelings). Anyways, again no. Why? she asked him curiously. No reason, really, but he was still grinning and when he took her hand, he kissed it while never taking his eyes off of her, crystal blue eyes full of meaning. Merlin sported a full-on blush. She was still mulling over it later as she was gathering materials to attempt a return to her own timeline, alternate now that it was. However, there were still the problem of two pesky monarchs who were determinedly following her and stubbornly wished to watch and make sure everything was alright and to see her off if it was successful. Gaius had been pulled into, though he too wished to see her off and to make she was okay in the attempt. Arthur had been left with Alice in his nursery in the meanwhile. Honestly, itll be alright, she glanced back at the trio. Good, okay, all three chorused, still following her. She sighed and rolled her eyes, and dumped her stuff onto the ground. She pointed a little ways away from her and glared pointedly. Over there. Dont come closer. Igraine pouted, but allowed Uther to pull her away and moved towards the area. Gaius frowned, glancing between there and where Merlin was, until Merlin practically growled. And then she was repeating the ritual, using baby Arthurs hair this time. Course, she shouldve expected something to go wrong. Lightning doesnt strike twice, after all. Although, she hadnt expected to be literally struck by lightning. Vaguely, hearing Igraines scream and the pounding of footsteps towards her, Merlin smiled to herself weakly and thought she mightve been cursed or something. Or the Old Religion really, really hated her.