18: Fantasy, Dream and Secret

by Joseph Frost

a play written for The 31 Plays in 31 Days Project

Draft August 18, 2013

Attic Scripts, 2013 4550 Normandy Dr Jackson, MS 39206 atticscripts@gmail.com

ALAN, a man brushing his teeth. ALAN (while brushing) He wasnt a kind man... kind... he wasnt kind. Thats all Im saying. My dad wasnt kind. Selfish. I mean, everyones selfish, but he, he had mastered selfishness. Like a... like a thing youd master. I dont know. (beat) I know it was a long time ago and all, but... and this is weird... when I was a kid, and people would take photographs, like birthdays and stuff... if he knew he was in the picture... weird... hed close his eyes. Every time. For a while, everyone thought it was some kind of consistent accident, bad luck on his part. Grandma made kind of a deal about it, but everyone else thought it was funny, laughed it off. Every picture, dad with his eyes closed. Us curled up as a family: closed. Him and me at the first day of school: closed. Him sitting in a rocking chair, in the background of a picture that wasnt even of him. Closed. It was uncanny. (beat) I saw him do it once. Mom didnt believe me, but I know what I saw. And even more, Im pretty sure he knew I saw him. I dont think anyone else around noticed it, it was probably just to me, but I could feel him turn guilty, or something. I dont know how to tell it. But he knew he was busted, and he knew he shouldnt be doing it. Did it anyway. (beat) Meant to ask him about that. On his deathbed, or something. Walks off. Lights up on Nell, a woman with a candle. Almost ready. NELL Alan returns without the toothbrush. ALAN The power came back on an hour ago. NELL I had already planned this. ALAN Powers been off for three hours. fossil fuels? Sit. NELL He sits. Can we please burn some

2. ALAN If you have a Ouija board, Im leaving. NELL I want us to share three things. ALAN Bag of chips, the sofa, a movie on Netflix. NELL Please dont ruin this for me. Please dont ruin-Alan. ALAN NELL She starts to get up. ALAN Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. behave. (beat) What are the three things? He stops her. I will

Please sit down.

NELL A dream weve never shared. A fantasy weve never admitted. And a secret weve never confessed. No way. ALAN

NELL We used to do this stuff all the time. When we were dating. Yes. ALAN NELL

ALAN I know better now. This is just an exercise in me deciding on three things youre going to hold over me for the next few years. NELL This is us being open and honest with each other. Honesty is overrated. ALAN

3. NELL

Alan.

ALAN Nell, seriously. If theres a secret I have, and that is not an admission, dont you think that theres a good reason I havent told? I tell you everything that I can think of that would actually be of concern. That would be worthy of a candle-light confession. I have nothing to tell in this situation. Honestly. I have one. You do? Yes. NELL ALAN NELL

ALAN You wouldnt have come up with this if you didnt have one already. (beat) Youre going to have to give me more time to think. NELL Ill go first. And you dont have to start with the secret. Theres also the dream and the fantasy. ALAN Arent those the same things? NELL A dream is something like, like a way you see us in the future, something you want for us. A fantasy is something... silly... or ridiculous. Maybe even a little selfish. But it has to be honest. And real. Winning the Masters. Alan. Im serious. Ok. Why? ALAN NELL ALAN I want to win the Masters. NELL ALAN

You didnt say why.

4. NELL ALAN

I am now. I look good in green.

NELL You can do better than that. Masters? I like golf. And? ALAN NELL

Why would you want to win the

ALAN I would like to be good at golf. Why? I dont know. NELL ALAN Its good to win things?

NELL Do you... think youre not good at things? Im good at things. I know. ALAN

NELL Youre the one wishing you were better at something.

ALAN I guess the recognition. Recognition. Fame. Ok. Fortune. Yeah. NELL ALAN That stuff.

My turn.

NELL Im going to say, I wish I had a beach house. ALAN NELL

A beach house. Yes.

ALAN Is that a dream or a fantasy?

5. NELL Its never going to happen.

Im thinking fantasy.

ALAN I dont know about that. NELL Have you seen our bank statement? ALAN Its not going to happen next month, but I dont know. not out of the realm of possibility. Someday. Maybe. NELL I didnt say youd be there. ALAN Perhaps it was the settlement in my wrongful death suit that got you the money to buy it. NELL Thats how I like to picture it. (beat) My dream is different. What is it? ALAN Its

NELL My dream... is that we move overseas. Really? Yes. To where? ALAN NELL ALAN

NELL I dont know. Im thinking someplace non-English speaking. Even Europe is too easy. Maybe Southeast Asia. ALAN Why is this more feasible than a beach house? Theoretically if we could move to Sri Lanka and buy a beach house there, right? They have beaches. Im serious, Alan. Really? NELL ALAN

6. NELL A moment. ALAN Youve never said you wanted to move overseas. I know. NELL

Yes.

ALAN That would... kind of make this... your secret as well. NELL If you want to look at it that way. ALAN Someone who wants to move overseas is very different from someone who doesnt have that in mind. Is that bad? NELL

ALAN Not necessarily. Just surprising. (beat) All three of your things make sense together. NELL I didnt say this was my secret. What is it? What is it? ALAN NELL Its your turn, thats what it is. ALAN Im still trying to wrap my head NELL

My turn. I dont know. around Sri Lanka. I didnt say Sri Lanka. I did.

ALAN Now its all I can think about. (beat) Ill never win the Masters if I move to Sri Lanka. NELL And Id hate to spoil that for you. your dream for us? Can you please just say

7. ALAN NELL

What? Im embarrassed now.

ALAN No. Dont be. I think its... adventurous of you. To want us to move overseas someday. I just dont know what to think of it yet. Ive never thought about it before. I dont even have a passport. (beat) Can that be my secret? I knew that already. I dont think I did. Not the same thing. Whats your secret? You want to know? Yes. NELL ALAN It was a secret from myself. NELL ALAN Youve had time to think. NELL ALAN

NELL You remember when we first met? The dorms at Henderson. Yes. ALAN NELL

ALAN I saw you in the hall, and I thought you were gorgeous, and I asked you if I could help you, and you said you were looking for a guy youd seen at orientation, and I asked if youd come to meet me and you said you had. I hadnt. What? NELL ALAN

8. NELL I wasnt there to see you. Who? Freddie Enreight. Freddie Enreight. ALAN NELL ALAN I dont remember that guy.

Who is that?

NELL He lived on your hall. Tall guy, dark hair. Kind of skinny. He was very sweet. Hed helped me during orientation find my class schedule and hed taken me around to where the classes were. I think he majored in Biology or something. (beat) I had come to that hall to see him, not you. ALAN Nell, I knew you hadnt come to see me. NELL But you didnt know who Id come to see. Thats my secret. Thats your secret. ALAN It was Freddie.

NELL I didnt say it was deep and dark. now you do. Ok. Youre turn. What do I have left? ALAN NELL ALAN

But you didnt know, and

NELL Your dream for us, and a secret youve never told. ALAN What if I said that the secret Ive never told is the dream I have for us? Is that true? NELL

9. ALAN NELL

In a way. What is it?

ALAN My dream is that I never tell you my secret. Alan blows out the candle. A moment Alan, brushing his teeth again. ALAN (CONTD) Secrets are funny. Once theyre known, they dont exist. Its like ignorance - dangerously fleeting. Learn one thing, its gone. (beat) My dad died before I asked him about the closing his eyes during pictures thing. I know for sure that if Id asked him, he would have told me exactly why he did it. (beat) Im so glad I never did. He exits. End