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Marriage and The MishkanDT
Marriage and The MishkanDT
Fulfilling Man’s Mission Gd and the Universe demand from him, with
It’s all about tents! greater clarity than any human since.... and yet
HE'S TOTALLY and utterly ALONE! That's an
amazing assertion! But Gd states it.
By Isaiah Cox and Aaron Sichel
23 March 2009 Adam's purpose in the Garden, in Creation will
never be fulfilled if it's just Adam and God alone.
The explicit instruction from Hashem to the Adam needs another human to relate to
Jewish people to “return to your tents”1 after the completely. So Adam is put to sleep and now a
giving of the Torah is, Rashi tells us, a new human is created to join him.4
commandment that husbands and wives shall
once again build their own holy houses, to once Now consider Matan Torah afresh: Am Yisrael
again unite and make homes suitable for has just heard God's voice, it has received an
Hashem’s presence. In context with the previous introduction to Reality more clear and vivid than
verse, this is the way to ensure that our attitude any human before or since they have been told
and mindset when we were with Hashem at Sinai with crystal clarity what they are to do on this
remains with us as a people forever. We preserve Earth. They have a national mission, their work
the atmosphere of the giving of the Torah is set out for them and they have a crystal clear
through building a marriage. unbiased perception of their role within the
fabric of Existence and the earth.... but the
Actually, the giving of the Torah at Sinai is an people are aware at some level of a new insane
echo of the very first commandment Gd ever problem. The objectivity is unsustainable: "Out
gave mankind: “Of every tree of the garden you of all flesh: is there anyone like us, who's heard
may freely eat, but of the Tree of Knowledge of the voice of the Living God speaking from
Good and Evil, you must not eat thereof; for on within the fireand lived?!" And amazingly God
the day you eat of it, you shall surely die.”2 And approves of their words...5 And now therefore
then, right after this, the first of all "Go back to your tents”!!!6
commandments, the mission statement for Adam,
what does Gd do? “Hashem Gd said, “It is not Dive back into the personal! Your mission on this
good for man to be alone.”3 earth just like Adam's will never be fulfilled
if your wife and family aren't standing there with
It is a complete nonsequitur! Think about that – you. No shortcuts, dear children! Just like Adam,
you would think that having just gotten a at the moment of hearing God's voice, of
command from the Source of all Existence, experiencing a cosmic objectivity.... Israel is only
Adam would be very much unalone: God is now required to dive into the murky oceans of
standing right there with him!!!! He is the least relationships, interactions, emotions,
alone being in creation! And yet exactly at the
4
moment he hears Gd's voice....it is only then Gd creates the very vehicle that will lead to Adam's
that God determines that Adam simply cannot be violation of his sole mission! This, of course,
allowed to live alone....! God is informing us as becomes the pattern for all humanity; sexuality is often
to Adam's existential state: Adam IS ALONE!!!! misused, and so we miss the whole point!
5
There is much more here: Moshe is told to stay with
1 Hashem. He no longer has a tent to return to; he alone,
Devarim 5:27 having reached a higher level than Adam himself, is
2
Bereishis 2:16,17 never alone because he is with Hashem.
3 6
Bereishis 2:18 Devarim 5:26
interconnections and intimacy the things that love takes something performed by every animal,
seem so prosaic and small, so difficult and so and joins it to heaven.
removed from an objective, sweeping Divine
mission. Mitzvos do not exist in a vacuum; they Indeed, love within a marriage might be a higher
are meant to be immediately applied to our form. In Melachim we learn that workers on the
marriages. Beis Hamikdash spent 2 months at home for
every month they spent in Lebanon working.
The unit of man and wife are meant to be the Why? R’ Avin said that Hashem cherishes
atomic unit for all people, and especially for the marital intimacy10 more than the beis hamikdash
Jewish people.7 The “tent” is the basic building itself.11 That the Mishkan and a Marriage are
block of a nation, representing the couple, secure even comparable tells us that they are on the
together. Judaism does not suggest that we same plane: they have the same goal! Ramban
abandon the self to a great mass of humanity, to a points out that when men and women are
single cause. We suborn the self to the family intimate in holiness, the shechinah dwells with
unit, and then in turn we make up klal yisrael. them.12 A marriage is itself a mishkan, because,
when effected with love and desire, both invite
Not for nothing does Bilaam use the poetic the Shechinah inside. Of course, love and desire
phrase “Ma Tovu Ohalecha”, “How Goodly are must be there, because without them, physical
your Tents, oh Jacob!” Bilaam saw that the intimacy is merely earthly, animalistic. And the
fundamental unit of the Jewish nation is found in Ramban adds that without those elements,
its marriages, in its tents – and this is why he Hashem is not present.13 14
returns to advise Israel’s enemies to send their
daughters into Israel’s camp as whores, to tear up married (Rambam, Hilchos Ishus 15a:16).
10
the tents of Yaakov, to destroy the holy It is important that intimacy itself is considered holy
relationships between husbands and wives. – not only if it is tied to procreation. The mitzvah of
onah applies whether or not procreation is possible,
This brings us to the other aspect of tents: The which means that the union between man and wife has
tent also represents tznius, the idea of privacy, of an importance independent of the edict “be fruitful
keeping the intimate in its place. When Pinchas and multiply” which applies to all creatures.
11
kills Zimri and Cozbi, in part it is because they Yerushalmi (Kesubos 5:7)
12
were conducting intimate acts in public; they had Based on Sotah, 17A
missed the fundamental point that, once Adam 13
This may also explain why intimacy is called
ate from the Tree of Knowledge, we are meant to “knowledge” or daioh. Chava and Adam ate from the
understand the difference between the public and tree of knowledge, became aware of their sexuality –
the private. and yet: intimacy with love is knowledge, both of each
other, and of Hashem (through the presence of the
But within the tent, we find the highest levels of shechinah).
14
sanctity. The angels atop the Aron8 look like a This can also explain how Rashi emphasizes that
man and woman, reaching to embrace one intimacy between a man and his wife was particularly
another. Intimacy between husband and wife is a important on Shabbos. “Sabbath a night of enjoyment,
relaxation and physical pleasure.”[Rashi to Ketubot
union of holiness.9 The mere act of coupling with
62b] Elsewhere Rashi advocates that not only
7
The first, and perhaps most famous tent, was that of scholars, but laypeople also should engage in this
Sarah and Avraham, the first Jewish couple. practice on Friday night. [Rashi to Niddah 17a] Every
8 Jewish marriage aims to invite Hashem into the
which was enclosed in the Beis Hamikdash, just like
relationship, and if Shabbos is a path to the unification
our tents are meant to shield us from others of heaven and earth, then the unification of a couple
9
Both men and women should always strive to be on Shabbos is doubly so.
The connection between marriage and the
Mishkan can also be found in the text. Shmos,
35:22 says “vayavo haanashim al hanashim”
which Rashi understands as “im hanashim” –
when volunteering gold jewelry for the building
of the Mishkan, men and women came with each
other, as Simha Baer says: as couples. The
holiness of building the Mishkan was provided
by married couples, volunteering their personal
jewelry. They were in effect loaning their
personal connection to the shechinah. The direct
link between Gd’s presence in a marriage and
Gd’s presence in the Mishkan is established
when married Jewish couples contributed
together to the building of Gd’s home. Hashem
understands this perfectly, sending the Jewish
people right back to their tents to absorb and
apply the Torah they have received, just as he
gave Chava to Adam in order so that Adam
would follow Gd’s sole commandment.