TRI-VOLLEY TALKIES

Cost: Priceless HACIENDAS HIGHLY IRREGULAR DAILY Edition 15, Aug 21 2013 Printed At: Commons Press

- KeyLifter Associates

Creekside Park: After the increase in the number of key snatching incidents, TPS ACC has decided to introduce a TPS Hall of Claim".

TPS INTRODUCES HALL OF CLAIM. AMIT GETS THE TOP SPOT

"We want to put up a list of key names that have the potential of having your keys with them" said the CMD from the hall of his house. "This way, we can reduce the keys lost mails to the group even though people lose their keys." It has come to our notice that newcomer Amit, has been inducted to the TPS Hall of Claim unanimously by the ACC comprising of two members of which, one was on leave during this key decision. When asked how Jagadeshs name was missing from the list, the ACC member told, "We need to give newcomers a chance." Jagadesh is well known for having lot of key items including keyboards, keynotes, keychains and many others. It is also widely rumored that he is the Drona of keylifting and Amit, the Ekalavya. There are gossips that it is just a matter of time before he asks Amit to return all the keys he has collected, as Gurudakshina.

I condemn this bias against our idol by the ACC in the harshest terms said a fan of Jagadesh who was upset at his idol not making it to the TPS Hall of Claim. Our fan club will make sure he will get more claims for keys. So all of you guys, watch out." he threatened. After a lot of searching around, when our reporters got hold of Jagadesh in the Gongura(Ginger) Bread Park and informed him of the developments, he congratulated Amit for his maiden keylifting. Keep up the good work Amit. were the exact words. This is a good sign and I am glad that he decided to follow my footsteps. He is fine as long as he doesnt follow me to my house and takes my keys. Said Jagadesh which has been perceived both as an apparent threat and as a stamp of dominance of Jagadesh in this niche area by his followers. The Hall of Claim will start with the keys but it will be slowly expanded to all items missing from the ground, said the project co-ordinator who didnt want to be named. All you have to do is to take somebody elses belongings to get yourselves into the TPS Hall of Claim he concluded.

NEWS ROUND UP

After a devastating defeat in Aarohan second round match from the brink of winning against Raja, AASHA captain VenkatG went missing for a few days. It was rumored that he had gone into depression and had to take refuge in a rehab camp. Due to this he missed one match of the third round. But after 2 consecutive losses on the last day of the league stage, it is expected that he will go missing again. With Aarohan gaining intensity, the knock out phases are expected to be more thrilling than the league games. Wingless cmdr. Adm.Dr.Shelar, K,C(+43 other degrees) has decided to get his special recipe- the world famous carrot juice mixed with gin(ger). Apparently it is to increase the spirit of the game.

SRINI YELLA PROPOSES CHANGES TO TPS PENAL CODE; ACC PONDERS

- Inhouse Legal Expert
TPS HQ: Srini Yella, a veteran spiker in TPS has proposed a private members bill asking for TPS constitutional amendment to the TPS Penal Code, Sec 379 and 379(a). Srini Yella, in a strongly worded mail suggested the changes after a series of "missing emails were sent out. His mail quoted that TPS shall order an interim stay to temporarily seize eligibility of the lifter to block and spike in AAROHAN which may be extended further down the line. The accused says that this was a tactic used by Srini Yella to put pressure on his opponents. I think Aarohan is having a major impact on him. And he seems to have a very good knowledge on Penal code sections. Either he is a very good lawyer or he has experience in keylifting. Whatever, I am not guilty and I will leave it to the ACC to decide on the issue. He said. When asked how he plans to take this up further he told that he would wait for the judgment by the TPS Autocratic Core Committee. The ACC, however was quite infuriated at Srini Yellas strong worded mail. We can accept the proposal to modify the TPS Penal Code. Said the CMD. But for that, first a TPS Penal Code should be set up! He cannot make such wrong claims. We are happy that Srini gave us this idea. We will create a Punishment Committee and take his inputs. Said the CMD. It is said that the TPS Penal code will be rolled out in the winter session of volleyball.

KAMARAJ ABDUCTED BY AASHA; TPS ERUPTS IN PROTESTS

-Special Correspondent
TPS HQ: In a shocking incident, VenkatG's team AASHA abducted key player (not from Hall of Claim) Kamaraj, on Tuesday afternoon from his workplace. In an email claiming responsibility, the gang leader VenkatG bragged about his achievement in a rather authoritative manner. Following the abduction, an auction ransom of huge undisclosed value was put on Kamaraj. Soon on behalf of Team Ravi, Krishna, popularly known as Lord of Several Rings, started negotiating for $500. However this was not well received by the AASHA gang and they stopped negotiations and decided to keep Kamaraj captive. Following this, the entire TPS erupted in protests. Teams started demanding swift action to bring Kamaraj to their respective teams. They also demand AASHA to be brought to justice. "We cannot have any one team claim Kamaraj as part of their team." Said an anonymous TPS member. "He belongs to us." said Sashi, one of the many S-ess. "He is our honorary member like Sachin Tendulkar is an honorary MP." When our reporter asked if he meant that Kamaraj did nothing like the MP, he slapped the reporter. Since he was on vacation during the drafts, on his return, Kamaraj had gone public. Taking advantage of this situation, VenkatG, who terrorizes his team by sending lengthy emails with Hi-fi words every day, abducted him triggering the crisis. The ACC and the AOT are simply watching the situation unfold. "We have no plans of doing anything. This is a private citizen who was abducted publicly. Only the public can act on this" said AOT chief organizer effectively washing hands off the crisis. Meanwhile, TVT has filed a complaint at the TPS Headquarters against the slapping of its reporter. This is not acceptable. Media should not be gagged or slapped like this said the Editor-In-Cheap. TVT is demanding slapping of 4 match ban on Sashi in the ongoing Aarohan tournament. he said. With Aarohan entering the knock-out phase and the matches getting tense by the day, the ACC is expected to reprimand AASHA for the abduction and bring back Kamaraj to the safety of the referees position within a day or two.

READERS WRITE

Our Arch reader Vijay, created this piece in honor of the puppy that managed to chase Abhi a long time ago. The puppy did what we could never do said Vijay to our E-I-C as he handed over the picture for publication.

FROM THE EDITORS BROKEN DESK

Dear Readers!

I am really very glad to get out yet another edition, the #15 out so soon. It has been a bonanza time for our reporters thanks to Aarohan tournament. Our reporters have been keeping all ears and eyes wide open and did their best to help bring this edition out so soon. With this edition, TVT has placed itself in its own record books for releasing 3 editions in a span of 23 days! As E-I-C, I am extremely glad to bring this news to you. And the good news doesnt end there. All the fund raising schemes of TPS has borne fruit. Our reporters and myself might get paid the long overdues, FINALLY! If we dont, we will make sure one more edition is out slamming the TPS financial team. So with all the good things happening for our team and Aarohan tournament getting to the final stages, we take leave of you. Until next edition, Keep Talking. Keep Reading.