H 0 i ',t$

Vi h e n I th i n ko f b u r far m I think of the o1d far mhouse, fB56

v i n t a g e , N e w Y o rk S ta te , It was white clapboar d the fir st Se ar v /e
l l v e d t he re , T h e l i g h t gr ey siding was put on later . It look ed ni c e
with the red and white trim.
There was the barn my husband had jacked up and etraightened to
p r e p a r e fo r o u r fu tu re h er d of cattle. Ther e was the pum phous e out
back where the roater was pumped from the artisian well and made avail-
able to us via our fairly modern plumbing. There was the Northern Spy,
a p p l e o rch a rd o n th e h i l l above the house. Later our cows us ed thi s
l a n d f o r n i g h t p a stu re . Nostalgla pr events an accur at6 descr i pti on;
I c a n s ee i t 1 n my ml n d rs eye better than I could ever hope to tel - l l t.
W he n I th i n k o f o u r far m I see it in ter ms of all that c ontr i buted
t o t h e fu l -In e ss o f o u r l i v es. It contalned ever ything. It r/as a m i x -
t u r e o f b u si n e ss a n d p l e a sur e. It wa6 a subtle com binatlon o f the tw o
t h a t a d d e d u p to a ce rta i n char m not found today in the tr appi ngs of
a modern dairy farm that shrieks at you from the blg blue sj-los as you
pag6.
I a m fl l l e d w i th e motion as I r emlnj- sce. W e had so muchr i l y hus -
b a n d a n d f. ft w a s a l i fe filled with the joy of doing - - wo r k i ng s ep-
a r a t e l y a n d to g e th e r -- b eing to6ether and being aloner yet n ev er s epar -
a t e i n o u r va l u e s a n d o u r aj- ms, &t least after the fir st coupl e of y ear s .
A f t e r th a t th i n g s w ent along. City wom en can adapt, and m y pas t
e x p e r i e n ce h a d b e e n th e rur al scene" I had never actually liv ed i n the
c i t y e x ce p t fo r sh o rt p e riods some year s befor e, but my notion s w er e
s o n e t i m e s ci ty n o ti o n sr or shall we say m y mother fs notlons -- ftU pper
M i d d l e C l a ss? rtma ;rb e ; b u t mjr hear t wa6nr tr r upper br ackettl And ao I found
m y s e l f i n tl i e co u n try se tting, not just adapting, but thr owing m y s el f
into it. I fo u n d th a t I coufd expand my inter ests whi- ch in a c tual i ty
h a d b e e n e xtre me l y l i mi te d .
C r ea ti vi ty i s e n h a n ced wher e the view is longl v.,' her eyou r hom e
has all you could posslbly lvant in the rrrorl-d. ltr/enot only had it.
T h e r e i t w a s, sp re a d o u t befor e usr Unlim ited, it vr ent on fo r ev er :
F r o m o u r fro n t p o rch w e could aee all of the beauty, it seemed, the
w o r l d c o n ta i n e d -- th e va lley wi- th its fr agr ant clOvar . lgead ow sand
p a s t u r e l a n d ; th e w i 1 1 o v,'-1ined cr eek and the distant hills. T he v r hol e
w o r l d b el o n g e d to u sr e ve n the sunset.
V/e started life on the farm with six or seven guernsey coll/s' lVe
bought thern from a fanner up in the country who loved thern dearly. They
w e r e h l s ttch i l d re n rri j -n d i viduals each, r aised fr om calfhood. l l e k new
in*;matplv:rnd loved He told us all about
 -I

TO EDW IN

I can rsnember --- fisry I Can renember!

My memory ls filled with Joy as I think of you.
I look at you
A s a p o rt i n a stor m ,
As a rock that withetand.s many lashingo
fn th e e u rf of tlm e.
Y o u h a ve b e en m y l- ight - - - m y beacon;thr ough the y ear s .
I se e th e sour ce of life
A s f l o o k a t you,
You have alvrays been there
to listerr to my words
Wh a te ve r th e y might be.
In th e si l e n ce we ar e or r €r
In our tears we are one,
A n d l n th e j oy of each new d.iscover y,
A s th e sto n e s ar e tur ned,
We are one in truth a,s we see it together.
I wlll always see the blue of the sky
A s I re me mb er your eyes,
And the sparkle d'f the merry streara we sat beside.
The freshness of our thoughts and our words have
l e ft n o r oomr for dlscor d.
D e b a te h a s n ot been our pur poser
Ou r l L ve s a re bound together in a per fect blend
-- _
A b l o n d o f seeking tr uth,.
We h a ve b e e n fr ee together
A n d fre e i n our aloneness.
l l o w co u l d i t be other wise?
rn a l o n e n e ss r /e cr oss over into the ti- m er essness
ca l l e d d e a th *- *
rnto urhat we perceive ln the fabric of our own mlnds,
Andr knowing Your the poet and the l-over of l-ife and
what you have woven l_nto it,
rt w l l l - sti l l be beautiful because your life i6.
I w:ill miss you here
Rut when I think of you
f t w:i].l ease timers pai.nn
And I too Tri1l ftnd joy
As I shere rnv aloneness
 H.0 [i _E

All o f my ri fe
r l iad been looking for a lior ne. As a ir ol r s e
t h i s o n e w a s n o t u p to r ny meticulous expectations of lvhat a
tt
house stroi*a should be , but a 100 year oLd farmliouse trvasin-
titled to l ts i n fi rmi ti e s. After a glance or tb@ r v,' a6abl e to
o v e r l o o h i ts g l a ri n g d efects, like the fr ont por ch that neeoed.
r e - f l o ori n g a n d th e b roken clapboar ds that showed the black tar -
p a p e r u n d e rn e a th ,
Ivi y fi rst vi e w o f i ts inter ior was thr ough the par lor ur i n-
d o v r . ( v re d i d n rt h a ve th e key Twith us.) The fur nltur e, inher it ed
f r o m E d rs l a st ma ml a g e r wasnf t exactly to m y taste. r cor .l l d L
h e a r r n y mo th e r vo i ci -n g her caustic onj- nlons on this subject,
It didnt t help.
f recalled. rly last e x r-: , e rie n c e lv it h mo t h e r s o in e e ig ; irt y e a r s
be for e , durin6 tny first rn a rria g e n wh e n s h e h a d a g a in lv o rk e d h e r
via y j- nto my life. S he d ic rn t $ ii< e t h e f u rn it u re my h u s b a n d , G e o r g e ,
had picked to furnish?r t h e a p a rt rn e n t h e h a d f o u n d f o r u s t o m o v e
in to on my return from F lo rid a . j S o p ile h a d t a k e n it u p o n ir e r s e l f
to ha ve it returned to the s t o re , a n d a lie n f u rn it u re g re e t ed
rronnoa rrrhan 1'g arrived home froia lvorl< that nigtrt. She hated Geor.ge
and she lvas liillin6 two bj-rds vlith one s.linrr-shot- :etrr:llv trrroo
if I vLas to be counted..
This tiryle f rd left i,iotirer in li'l-orida -- and iie re f v " as , v r i t h
ol d
ny ne ',v husband, and his . t re rviro u s e -- a le f t -o v e r f ro m h is l- a s t
r n a r r ia ge.
-
. . shabby. to say- t h e 1 s o me crFtlte--+}.d i-deas
_*1 6 \\-b#J+e-.J lrq_d fo azz
trvas on t h e spot. f put fhe6e-ideas
,4
a r va yf f had to.
FnXea* lliith not too lrnuch rn o t le , v (, ! o t s e x -v rif e h a d c le a n e d h irn o u t . ) ,
an d l- ots of i-'si..1 this c o u ld b e rn a d e t o lo o li I lHe a h o iire s h o u l d .
- - - - {h is r,las the earJl'fif t ie s t';hen they t ry e re lra in t in g f lo o r s .
I"or tun ete for rue, no ru f in is lt in g . r
Itr ha ql"r .elr hr i
brol''rn, lv id e b o a rc is I c o v e re d v rit h a soft gr e e n ,
o b l i t e r a ti n g a l l g ,{" t$ 9 "6} mEs"r 6:ie;htdovr n to last squar e- hea ded nai l .
I c o r - rl d a l n o st h e a r/th e lover s of old far m- houses ss I r apid l y
t'slurped"th" 'i:aint over every inchi;of tkie dini-ng rooni, al1 t lvelve
steps that led to the upsiairs hallvray and bedroolns notivithstanding.
lirnlhinc" rr;q. left.
rt v vrr+rrt The brOelS1n bCfardS Were gone f6rever,
T+ +^^,
vuul( more
painting and firin6, some rnlnd
 ii _0.ii_n
rtnu Jd'*tuef
l U he n I thi.nli of^ our fa{ n I t h in k of t h e o ld f a rmh o u s e , f856 vin-
. rYV(*.
t a g e .i ,/JIt uas white clapboard the f irs t year we l-lv e d . t h e re . The light
gr e y si dln g was put on later. It lo o k e d n ic e v iit h t h e re d and whi-te
t ni rn

The r e l',ras the barn rny h u s b a n d lia d ja c k e d u p a n d s t ra ig h t e n e d to

pr e p a r e it for our future herd o f c a t t le . ' I ' h e re wa s t h e p u mp h o u s e
ou t b a ck where the vuater was p u mp e d f ro in t h e a rt is j-a n 1 , v e 1 1a n d m a d e
availa b le to us via our fairly mo d e rn p lu mb in g . T h e re v / a s t h e l t i o r t h e r n
, Sn y d p p le orchard on the hill above the house, Later our cov/s used
t h is l an d and the l.and bel-ov r t ire h il-l for n lg l: t p a s t u re , I io s t a l g i a
p r e ve n ts an accurate descript io n ---1 . c a n s e e it in rn y in in d rs eye better
t han f co uld ever hoire to tell it .
Vthe n I think of our farm I s e e j-t in t e rms o f a ll that contributed
to the fu llness of our lives. It c o n t a in e d e v e ry t h i4 g . It tvas a mixture
of bu sin e ss and pleasure. ft v / a s a s u b t le c o mb in a t j-o n o f t h e tv r o t h a t
q r lr lo r l ,r - n *n o certain
q charm rO t f O u n d . t O d a y in t h e t O d p p n n g S , , . O $ ; a . ' m O d d r n
t-/

d a i- r y fa r ln that shriehs at y o u f ro m t l" ie b ig b lu e s ilo s as you pass,

I am filled vrith einotio n a s f re min is c e ; . . l' v ' e ] ra d s o mu c h r n l y h u s b a n d

an d I; It v/as a life filled wit h t h e jo y o f d o in g -- wo rle in g s e p a r a t e l y
an d tog e ther -- being togethe r a n c l b e irrg a lo ire r y e t n e v e r s e p a r a t e i r r
ou r va lu e d and our airns --- a t L e a s t a f t e r t h e f irs t c o u o le o f . .y g g r s .
l /d b t'

After that thin$s went a lo n g . Uit y v , ro me nc a n a d a t rt , a n d rn y / e x i l e r i e n c e

ha d be e n enthe rural ecerer I had never a c t u a lly liv e d in the city;except
f nr ..:r qh n nt -leriocl s6me year g b e f O re , b Ut rn y n O t j_ O n S We re S O met i r n e S C i t y
no ti on sr or shall !.re say rl1y mo t h e rf s n o t io n s --u p . p e r mid d le c la ss n a y b e ,
hr r * M \r lr r oqn* V /asntttrupner br a Cf t e t rl A n d S O f f O u n d my s e lf in t h e C O U n t r y
s ettin g r hot just adaritinilr b u b t liro i' rin g rn y s e lf in t o it . I f o u nd t h a t I
co u ld - exp and iny inberests h a d b e e n e x t re me ly l i m i t e d .
vrh ic h in a c t u a lit y
.- C r ea tivity is enhanced I ' rh e re t h e v ie v , r is lo n g ; v rlt e re y o u r h o i a e h a s
all- yo u couldl,rossibl-y lniant in t h e v lo rld . lle n o t o n ly h a d it . T'here it v"ast
s pr e a d out before usr Uiilii'rri-t e d , I t lv e n t o n f o re v e r: l' ro m o u r f r o n t . . i
,..orclrwe yno ff ''blre
f l r o he:rr f.v- i fi rGA A i .rl 6d - 11"€ w orl d
-a;&ii>ev,.2;riL:^{ con tained
W*"ffift
T'h.evaIXfl the vrillolv lined creetrr and the distant
h i l l s. The v,rhole rnrorld belon $ e d t o u s --€ v e o t h e s u n s e t .
'uijestarted life on the fana vritir si-x or seven guernsey colrusr trI/e
bought the,"n frorn a farner ull in the country vrho loved tlterii dearly.
' j 'he y l \ie r e liis children, indi-v id u a ls each, ra i-s e c l f rr: in c a lf h o o d ' He
k n e w e a ch one i-ntimately aird lo v e d e a c h u n c o n c t it io n a ll; t . I ie t o l d - u s
 HOI,I E

All of my life, it se e me d , I h a d b e e n lo o k in g for a p la c e I

cou l- d caII Home. A s a ho,-Ue qt h is one tvas not u p t o my me t ic u lou s
id e a s of lvhat a house should be, but a 100 year o ld f a rmh o u s e w a s
e n ti tle d to its i.nfdrmities. After a g la n c e or t wo I wa s a b le to
o ve r lo o k its glaring defec L s , lih e the f ro n t p o rc h that needed re-
floorj.ng and the broken clapboards that showed the black tarpaper
un d e r n e a th.
l "l y first vievr of its i-n t e rio r wa s t h ro u g h t h e p a rlo r wln d o l .
( We d id n ,tt have the key vi it h us) T h e f u rn it u re , in h e rit e d f ro m E d r s
la st m arriage, vrasnrt exac t ly t o my t a s t e . I c o u ld hear my m o t h e r
voicin g her caustic oplnion s . , a r t h is s u b je c t . It d id n t L h e lp .
I recalled my first rnarriage, \'Jhen she had again vrorked her way
in to r ny l-ife. S he didntt lik e the f u rn it u re my h a s b a n d , George, had
p icke d to furnish the apart me n t he had foudd for u s t o mo v e l n t o on
m y r etur n from Florida. So she had tahen it u p o n h e rs e l-f to have it
r e tur n e d to the store, and a lie n f u rn it u re g re e t e d G e o rg e v rh e n h e & r -
r l ved home from vrorh that n ig h t . S h e h a t e d G e o rg e a n d s h e wa s t k l l l l n g
?wo bj- r ds with one sling-bho t , a c t u a lly t h re e , if f v ra s t o be counted.
Thj-s ti-me I hacl left I'lother i-n Florida -- and here I was vrith rny
n e w h u sbahd and his old ho u s e a le f t -o v e r f ro rn h is la s t u r a m i a g e - -
sha b b y to say the least. I h a d s o me p re -c o n c e iv e d n o t io n s a bo u t what
m y ho u se should ber I lvas o n t h e spot. f put a ll id e a s of pe r f e c t i c l n
awa y. I had to.
l Vith not too much mo n e y (E d t s e x -wj-f e h a d c le a n e d h im o ut ) a n d l o t s
of pa in t this could be ma d e t o lo o k lik e a h o n re s h o u l-c l. T h ir: w a s t h e
ea r ly fifties when they lv e re p a in t in g f lo o rs . F o rt { I n a t e for mer Do r€-
fi nish j- n g.
ll'h e shabby, brown, wj. d e b o a rd s f c o v e re d wit h a soft g ree n r i . o b l i t -
erating alt of the flaws r'16ht down to the last square-headed nail. I
co u ld a lmost hear the ecrea n s o f t h e lo v e rs o f o ld f a rmh o u s e s a s I r a p i d -
1y tr slu r ped.rrtlie paj-nt over e v e ry in c h o f t h e d in ln g ro o ln , a II t w e l v e
steps that led to the upstairs hallvray and bedrooms notl'rithstanding.
No thin g vias missed. The b ro wn b o a rd s lv e re S o n e f o re v e r.
.. . It took more painting and fixing, some mind-nranipulation and a
lo t of lrrnakine .dotl^ but u. reh a d h n ma
^ rrY '
V/e were dairy farmers. It was hard for one wiro had been made
alm o st destitute by a fo rrn e r spouse to s t a rt over a g ; a in , b r; t v r e d i c l ,
and vlhen we came in frorn milking lvith covr-dung on our feet lve left

o u r boots outside ttre ba c h d o o r. V J e d id n rt v ra n t t o s p o il our new

B.Y'e e nfloors.