G.I.GURDJIEFF Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson An Objectively Impartial Criticism of the Life of Man ALL AND EVERYTHING / FIRST SERIESTen Books in Three Serias FIRST SERIES Thiee books under the title of Beeiehub's Tales to His Grandson, An Objectively Impartial Critics ofthe Lite of Mew SHCOND SERIES wo books under the common tlle ef Mectings wills Remarkable Men. ‘THIRD SERIES Five books wader the ttle of Life Is Rea! Only Then, When "I Aun.” All writen accerting 10 entizly new principles of Togical reasoning, and directed towanl the accomplishment of the following Ihre fincamental tasks: HIRST SpRIS Tor de 1y, meweilessly and without any ss of the compromise whatever, in the mentation snelf reader, the heli haul everything existing in the wold cfs and views, hy centuries rooted in him, SCOND SERIES To acquaint the reader with the material Foquired For a new creation and to prove the soundness and ‘goad quality of i " SHS To assist the arising, in the mentation andl in the feelings of the reader. of & veritable, non‘ representation not af that illusory world which he now win roa, perceives, hut of the world existFRIENDLY ADVICE (Written impromptu by the author on delivering ihis book, already prepared for publication, to the printer) According, ta the nomornns douctions and conchsions resutring from my fescarch canceming the profit contemporary people can abiain from now impressions coming fiom what they read or heat, and alse according. to the z thought of one of the sayings of popular wisdom I have just semen! Ihanded down to our days from very amcient times, "Any preyer may be heard and granted by tho Higher Powers only if itis uttered thrice: First for the wefan or the peace of the souls of one's parents, Scvond for the welfitre of one’s avighbor, And only third—for oneself personally," I find it noces publicalivn, 1 give the following advice ary on the frst page ef this hook, now ready for al each of my rillen expositions thrice Firsl—al kust as you have ulrewdy become mechsnized 1 read all your contemporary books and newspapers, Second —as if you were reading aloud to another person, Ane only third—atry to fathom the aist of my writings Only then will you be able to eaunt upon Forming your own impartial judgment, propsr to yourself alone, on my writings And only then ean my hope be actualized that accom to your understanding you will obtain the specifiy benelit for yourself whieh 1 anticipate, and which I wish for you with all my being,FIRST BOOKCHAPTER | The arousing of thought AMONG ALL the convietions fanned in my Teommon pr ny responsible, peculiarly composed Ife, there is one unshakable conviction that People—whatever the degree of development of their understanding and whatever the form tak by the factors present in their individuality for ‘engendering all kinds of ideals always and everywhere on the Earth fee! the imperative need, om beginning anything new, lw pronounce aloud, or if not iy that part most ignorant person, which has beoa formulsted indifferent ways in difierers loud at east mer ular invocation understandable 19 even the 1, and in our clay is expressed in the following words “In the name of the pac Father and of the Son snd of the Holy Ghost Amen.” Tat is why [now also, in sctiing forth on this venture quits new for me, namely authorship, begin by pronouncing this invocation, and proncane i nol only aloud bul even very distinelly and, ws the uncient Toulousites used 19 say, with a "fully manifestsé infomation” of course only to the ester permite’ hy da init for such a manifistation, d already formed in my whole presence and thorough) by the ay, which ane generally formed in man’s neture during his preparatory years, and which later, during his responsible life, determine the chatacter and vivilyingness of such an infonation, Having begun thus, 1 can new be quite at ease and should even, according 10 contemporary notions of “religious morslity,” be completely assured thar from now on everything in this now vontare of mine will pracsed, as is Sai, ike a pianola.”In any case, this i the way 1 have begun, and how the rest will go 1 ean ‘ely say, 28 the line man put it, "we shall see." First and foremost, I shall place my hand, moreover the right one, whieh, although st the moment itis slightly injured due to an accident that recently befell me—is nevertheless really my own, and has never ones ialed me in all, ny if, on amy eur, oF course also my owH—bul on the consianey or incenstaney of this pat oF my whole Tse no need to expatiate here and frankly confess that T mys hhave not the slightest wish to write, but am 8 quite independent of me, though created infentiorally constrained to de. so by citcumstan: whether these circumstances arose accidentally oF wei by extrencous forces Ido not yet know Lonly know that these eizcumstances bid me wrile not just some trifle for realing onesel! to slevp, Pu thick and ‘woighty tomes, However that may be, [begin ‘But begin with what? Ob, the devil! Wil U un | was composing in my thoughts the schome and sequence of the ideas indeed be repeated that strange and extremely 0. while saat sensation i befell me to experience about three weeks a intended to publish snd did not know then ether, how to bee This sensation I could only describe in these words " in the overllow of my ovn thoughis To stop this disagreeable sensation 1 might still have hed recourse to that rmaleficent propery inherent in mo, as in all contemporary people, which ‘enables us, without experione o fear of drowning ny remorse of cansetence whatever, to put offanything we wish 10 do “il tomorrow * 1 could have done this very easily because before beginning the actual vwiling there seemed Lo be plenty of ime, but today this is ue loager so ane, ‘eos wha it may, "even the burst" nus beggin.[But begin with what? Murrah! ... Rureka! Almest all the hooks Thave happened to ead in my life have begun with 3 ‘ofiee, So T100 mus b J say Yof he kind.” because in my enti life, ftom the moment I bevan to distinguish a boy fiom a gir, L have alvays done everything. abselutely esetything, ol as iC is done by othr, liky mysell, biped Uestrayens of Nature's good, Therefore T ought now, and am porhens even bound en principle, to hegin not as any ether writer would In any e880, instead of the conventions| preface I shal hegin quite simply {in with something ofthe kind With a yamning will be most judicious on my part, if only Fecuuse i vill not contradict any of my prineiples, whether organie, psychic ‘or even *willul” AL the Same time i will Be quite hones!—honest, of course in the objective sense, since I expect without the least doubt, as do all those ‘who knew me well, that owing to my sritings there ill entirely disappear in the majority of readors— immediately and not gradually, as seoner or later rust occur to everyene—all the "Wcasures” they have acquired, esther by Inheritance er by their own labor, in the form of “quicting nenions" that evoke ‘only ronmsnlie images oF their present lives or naive dims uboul the Future Professional writers usually begin such introductions with an adéress te the ader full of all Kinds of bombastic, ms miloquent, and so 10 say "honeyed" and inflated phrases. In this alone I shall follow their example and also begin with an "address to the reader," but I shall ry not to make i as 8 ry es they usually do Uv evil wisesering, by whieh dey ltllae the semibilites uf dhe more or Tess normal renderThus My dear, highly honored, strong-willed, and of course very potion Sirs and my vory dese, charming, snd impartial Ladies—forgive me, T have ‘omitted the most important— my in no wise hysteries! Ladies! Thave the honor to inform vou that although, due to citeumstaces that have arisen in one of the later stages of my Life, Lam now going 10 write ‘books, during my whole life [have mover written a single book or "ustructive anicte," or even a leer in which it was novessery’ to observe what is called "grammaticalty." so thst although Tam about to became a "professional swriter” Hhave no practice at all in the estslalished mi nd procedures o¢ in what is called "bon ton literary language,” and am therefore constrained to ‘write not as ondinary “patented” writers do, te whose form of writing you are ‘mall probability as much sceustomed vs to your own smell Jn my opinion, what ll be troublesome for you in allthis is chielly that in childhood there was implanted in you and has now become pertsetiy harmonized with your general psyche—an excellently working, automatism Jor perceiving 1 Kinds of new improssions, thanks to which "blessing™ you have now, during your responsible life, no nesd to make any individual cifort suhatsoover ‘To speak frankly, I personally sce the eznral point of my con ession notin ray lack of experience in the rules and procedures of writers, but in my ignamanee af what T have called "hon ton fterary lengongo,” rexquiod 9 ‘contemporary life not only of authors hut even of all ondinary momals that isto say, my lack of experience in the rules and procedures of writes, Lam not greatly disturbed. And 1 am not disturbed, AAs rgands tho former Devause in the life of comtemporary people ths lick of experience is im the condor of things, this new "blessi aroseand is Nourishing everywhere‘on Faith thanks to an extraordinary disease which, forthe last twenty or thirty yours, for some reason or other, has afflicted all those persons from among the Uwe sexes why sleep will hal-apen eves, wud whive faces are Lerte veil Lor Ue growth of every kind of pimple: fostod thus iF he invalid is semewhar tome ‘This simnge disease 8 mani and his rent is paid for these moms in advanes, he, sho, oe it inevitably stants writing some Vinstnvetive article." inet » whole book: Knowing all sbout this new human disease and its epidemic spread en Barth, Fnaturally have the right o assume thal you have acquis “immuty” va it, es the "med too indignant at my lack of experience in the ules and procedures of ‘That is why ja experts" would say, and that you will therefore not be tors make the or of gravity of my warnin "bon ton literary languaa In sell-justification, and slse perhaps to lessen the disapproval im your 1° indispensable fon waking consciousness of my ignorance of this langu: contemporary life, V consider it mecessury to say, with Idle Teal ad ‘chocks flushod with shame, that although I too was taught this language in my childhood, and although some of my elders who prepared me for responsible life constantly forced me, without sparing any means of intimidation, te learn bry tote the host of nuancos that in their totality compose this contemporary ct unfortunately, of course for you, of all that F learned by rot duothing stick, aud aothing whatever has survived for my present activities as awtiter And iP nothing stuck, it was not hugh any fault of mine or of my former ta" and "nonrespected™ teachors This human labor was spent in vain ed at the ‘owing to an unexpected and quite exceptional event that 9 moment of my appearance on God's Earth, at which moment as a eettain well-known uropean occultist explained to me aftrvery minute what are called “pyycho-physico-astlogical” investigations — through the hole in the window pane made by our erazy lante goat, there pourcd vibrations of sound from an Edison phonograph an the ncighbor's house, while the midwife who delivered me had in her mouth a lozenge saturated with cocaine of German mske, moreover not ersatz, which she was sucking to the sound of the musie without the proper enjoyment, “Aside fiom this event, rare in the everyday life of people, my present about because later on in my preparatory and adult lle as, [must confess, I myself surmised alt reflection based on the situation also can loi rnethed of the Geaman professor Heer Stumplsinuschmausen—I always, both jastinetively and automatically, and sometimes & consciously, that, on vwith others, nd to this fle, perhaps not such a priuciple, avokled using this language for intercours And T manifested myself thus in regs ‘wile, thanks to thtce data formied in my entivety duting my preparatory about which data [intend to inform you in this frst chapter of my writings However that may be, he fact remains, illuminated from every side ike an American advertisement which fact cannot now be changed by any farces. ‘even with the know-how of the "experts in monkey business" that 1, who have in recent years been considered by many people a tether good teacher of temple dances, have teday bceeme a professional writer, and will oF course sutite a pivat deal—as it has been proper to me since childhood whenever | do anything to do a gre=t deal of it—revertholess, not having, as vou seo, the utematicaly acquired and automatically manifested practice necéed for this, 1 shall be ebliged to write all have thought out in the plain, simple everyday Tanguage established by life, without any "literary manipulations” or " granamatical wiseacrings.”But the pot is not yet full... I have still not decided the most important {question of alin which language to write Although Thave begun to writs in Russtan, nevertheless in that language. asthe wisest of the wise, Mullah Nast kédin, would say, "you cannot go fa ‘Tho Russian language is very good it cannot be denied T even like it, but ‘only for swapping ancedotes ond for refering to someone's parent “Tho Russian Innguinge is Hike the Fnglish, which i also vory good, bur only Jor discussing in “smoking rooms," while scitled in an casy chair with legs stioteled eut on another ‘one. the topic of “Australian frozen meat” ef, per naps, the “indian question,” Both th ‘which goes anything and everything excepr you and me in fact, everything Tamguages are Tike he dish known in Moseow as "solfika," inte you wish, even the afterdinner "cheshma"* of Seheherazsle 1 must aso be said that owing (o all kinds of conditions aecidentally, or pethaps not accicentally, formed in my youth, I hve had 10 leatn, very seriously and of course always with sef-compulsion, to speak, rad, and write ges, und Wo such a deyree of Mucncy that i i fellow 44 gral many lang this profession unexpectedly forced on me by fate [ decided not to tke advantage of the “automatisn ‘acquired by practice, T enul perhaps write in ‘any one of them. [But in onder to make judicious use of this sitomatism acquired by long practice, I would have to its either in © Mullah Nase Eddin of as he is also called Nast Fddin Hodja is Hie knoven in Europe and Amesiea but is very well known in all the countries of the continent ef Asia Ie isa legendary personage corresponding somcubat te the Gorman Till Fulenspiogsl Many popu'ar rales and savings are arbted 49 this Nasr Eddin some of long standing and others more recent all expressing ie wisdom." # scrhoshma” means velRussian or in Armenian, dceausc during the last two or thrce decades the circumstances of my life have bean such that I have had to use just these two languages for communication with ethers, aud consequently have had move pre Oh tho devil! Fven ina ense like this, one af the aspects af my peculiar psyeho, unusual fara normal man, has alrendy hegun to torment the whole af ice in them, ‘And th ved lrom a property implanted in childhood in my peculiar psyche, with a that automatically compels 1 only according to popular torment” [eel a this moment, af my almost too mellow awe, is a let of rubbish unnecessary for comtemporary I the whole of me always and in everthing to wisdom, Jn the present case, 28 always when Tam in doubt, there has just slipped Uninvited into my brain, which is constructed unsuccessfully to the point of rmoekery, thot saying of pepular wisdom which existed in very ancient tines sand which Is conte Jove: Lo our day in the Following words "Every stick has wo ond Th trying to understand the underlying Wand real meaning hidden in this pinion, soon come to the conclusion that ell the ideas contained in this range formulation, any mere or less sanc-thinking man will, in my se based on the truth, recognized by people for centuries, that every saving phenomenon inthe life of mau is due to bwo causes oF epposite character, aud vides imo two exactly eppesite results, whieh in their rum become the ‘emise of now ghonomona For example, if "something ohtained from 10 ‘opposing causes produces light, thon this "somathing” rust alse inevitably ‘produce the opposite phenomenon, that is, darkness, oF again, if @ factor ders an impulse of palpable satisfaction in the organism of a living creature, it kewise inevitably engenders dissatistaction, of course alse. palpable ind st on gu so Forth, always and in everything2 formed in the course of Adopting here this example of popular wisd cconturies and expressed by the image of a stick, which as was said has i too ends, ome aud cuusidered good and Ue ether bad, thew if [take advantaye ‘ofthe mentioned automatism aequited by me through long practice, it will oF ‘course ho vory good for mo personally. hur according to this saying, For The reader it will he just the opposite: and what the anasite of goad is. even ‘cxery nonpassessor of hemorrhoids ean easily understand, In short, if exercise my prerogative and take the good end of the tick, the ‘baad end will inevitably fal “on the reader's head ‘This may indeed happen, for in Ru: say niceties of philosophical questions, which V intend to toueh upos in my Jan itis impossible to express the <0 writings rather fully; whereas, although itis possible to do se in Armenian, this language, to the misfortune of ell contemporary Anmeniaus, has now ‘become quite impractical for expressing contemporary notions In order to assuage the bitterness of my inner hut exving to this, L must say ‘Ot in my varly youth, when [ became interested in philological questions ane vas deeply absorbed in them. I p ‘rors Then spok ferred the Anmenisn language to all the native tongue, ‘This language was my favorite st that time chiefly because it had its oxen character and had nothing in common with the neighhoring or kindred languages All its "tonalitics,” asthe learned philologists say. were peculiar to si alone and, as J understood even then, it couresponded petteetly 10 rhe psyeli of the people of that nation, Bt curing the last thiny or forty years T hove witnosscd ueh a change in This language thar although it has ret completely lost the originality: ond independenes it had possessed sinee the remote past, it has now become a sort o/"clownish potpourri of laneuag whose consonance, falling on the