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A profile of Etta Connor –

Resolving conflict through dialogue.

By: Toby P. Newstead

“If you have lots of money or contacts, the justice system is kind to

you. If you have no money, or no contacts, you end up in jail,” says

Etta Connor. Connor and I sit in her immaculate living room overlooking

the sun-dappled waters of Haro Strait and the southern Gulf Islands.

She sits, legs crossed, with her hands folded in her lap. Her grey hair is

short and rests in soft curls above her ears. Her light purple top and

navy trousers are free of any unwanted spot or crease. Connor’s voice

is soft, but her message is firm; “justice,” she says, “begins in the

community, not in the courts.”

“When someone does something wrong,” Connor says, “they are

sent to a small cement jail cell and expected to come out of this

dangerous environment humanized and caring.” Connor knows the raw

insides of our justice system. From 1987 to 1993 she worked as an

adult educator at the Vancouver Island Regional Correctional Centre, a

maximum security remand centre on Wilkinson Road, in Victoria.

Recounting her years at the jail, Connor says she was struck by how

often she heard detainees lament that they would rather plead guilty
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than endure the courts. The courts, Connor says, are slow, expensive,

and adversarial. She advocates a different kind of justice.

“I have always worked with marginalized people,” Connor says.

She worked at the jail for six years teaching inmates. Before that, she

taught adult education at Camosun College, and before that she was a

counselor. Connor is retired now, but her work with marginalized

people continues. She is a member of the Peninsula Cross Roads

Community Justice Program, a volunteer initiative that practices

restorative justice in Victoria. Restorative justice, Connor tells me, is a

conflict resolution process that avoids the courts, and focuses on

restoring damage done to victims, instead of focusing on punishing

offenders. Restorative justice attempts to resolve conflict through

“community conference,” a facilitated dialogue between victim,

offender, and concerned community members.

Connor has been a volunteer restorative justice facilitator for 14

years. She also trains new facilitators. Connor and those she trains

donate their time to foster dialogue between victims and offenders.

Through dialogue, Connor says, conflicts are resolved, and the damage

done to victims is repaired.

Connor takes time to pick her words carefully. Her speech is clear

and unhurried. Her composure is often tested by difficult situations and

conversations. Connor’s role as a restorative justice facilitator puts her

in rooms filled with people on both sides of conflicts. She sat between a
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victim of theft and the thief. She sat between a business owner and the

employee who absconded with many thousands of dollars. She sat

between an abused woman and the abuser. “It is often uncomfortable,”

Connor says, glancing out at the bright blue waters of Haro Strait.

“But,” she adds turning back to me, “we get uncomfortable out of the

way, and get on with figuring out how to repair.”

Connor says she uses three questions to resolve conflict: what

happened? What was the impact? And, how can we fix the damage

done? In December of 2008, Connor was asked by an RCMP officer to

take an assault and vandalism case. There were two related families

living side-by-side. While drunk, a member of one family broke into the

house of the other family. The intruder vandalized the house, and

physically assaulted a young woman. Preferring to avoid the time and

costs associated with the courts, the two families requested that their

case be processed through restorative justice. The RCMP officer

responsible for their case agreed and the case was passed to Connor.

Connor first met with each of the families independently. Through

these preliminary dialogues Connor determined what happened and

discussed some possible methods of compensation. Connor says the

most important thing to the young woman who had been assaulted

was to hear a sincere apology from the offender. The rest of her family

also wanted an apology, and they wanted the damage to their house

fixed. The two families then came together in a safe place and formed
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a circle. Within this circle Connor facilitated an open dialogue.

Everyone was given the opportunity to voice his or her feelings and

fears, concerns and hopes. “I encouraged total frankness,” Connor

says re-adjusting in her seat, “but I did not tolerate disrespect.”

After each member of the circle spoke, Connor started the group

working towards an agreement; a written document outlining how and

when the damage would be repaired. The offending man agreed to pay

for the damage to his neighbour’s house, and he offered an apology to

the woman he assaulted and her family. Connor processed this case in

under a month and considers it a success. She says the victim’s voice

was heard, the offender’s apology was heartfelt, the material goods

restored, and the relationship between the two families repaired.

Most of the restorative justice cases Connor takes are passed on

to her by the RCMP. She suggests this is because the RCMP know that

not all cases are best resolved through the courts. In the 14 years

Connor has practiced restorative justice she has facilitated over 25

cases. Each of these cases has been resolved through dialogue and a

written agreement. The agreements are legally binding and directly

address the victim’s hurt and the offender’s accountability. RCMP

records show that 95% of restorative justice agreements are carried

out. Connor says that the agreements she drafts include specified

restitution to be made by the offender, but they never include arbitrary

punishment, and “we never push forgiveness.”

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Etta Connor is a retiree, a grandmother, a senior citizen. Connor

is an aged lady who willingly and voluntarily steps into the middle of

conflict. Connor fosters conflict resolution by simply facilitating

dialogue. As the last of the day fades, and the waters of Haro Strait

darken, Connor bids me farewell. “Thank you for talking to me,” she

says, “I am always eager to tell people how we’re using restorative

justice to create offender accountability, victim compensation, and a

safer community.”