The IT Crowd "Dead Love" Written by Kassem Abudu

k.a.abudu@gmail.com

INT. ROYS HOUSE - BATHROOM - MORNING ROY in front of the mirror getting cleaned up. Douses himself with a deodorant labeled "Irresistible" Psychs himself up. ROY You look awesome. He flexes and kiss his biceps. EXT. PAVEMENT ROY leaves his house and makes his way down the street. An attractive women walks by checking him out. Ego boosted, he walks on. Two large burly men walk by checking him out. One of them licks their lips. Shocked Roy put his head down and walks on. Roy reaches the bus stop. A sweet little schoolgirl glares at him. Roy is confused. ROY Alright there? She staggers closer. Roy is adamant. ROY Young lady? The girl launches at him attempting to bite him. Roy screams girlishly. OPENING CREDITS INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT Moss at his desk staring intensely at his screen. He playing MINESWEEPER. He clicks a box. Bombs go off. "You lose". Moss still staring intensely at the screen, swats all action figures off his desk. Jen walks in reading a magazine.

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JEN Hi Moss Hi Roy, how was your weekend? MOSS I hate this game. JEN Yea, that nice. Listen we - Wheres Roy? Roys desk is emtpy. MOSS I dont know JEN I need him to show the new intern aroundShe glances over at Moss. Moss smile and waves. JEN I could sure use a strong, brave, handsome man to help me out. MOSS Sorry Jen, your not my type. JEN No not like that you imbecile. For the intern. MOSS No thanks Jen Im busy. Minesweeper. The elevator reaches the basement. Ping. Its her. JEN Its her. JEN Heya! Careful! The intern trips off-screen. In comes intern JAN. Jan looks remarkably like Jen but younger.

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JAN That was embrassesing. JEN Dont worry. Happened to me on my first day. By the way this is Moss. Moss say hello. MOSS Heya! Jan is tantalized by Moss. She gushes over him. JAN (flirty) Hi. I like your glasses. MOSS There not forJEN Anyway, Jan let me show you around. Jen drags Jan away. JEN This is my fabulous office where I compute the internet. MOSS Ha You dont compute the internet, you surf. JAN (softly) Your laugh is hot. JEN Over here is are chill area where we chill and be social. MOSS Social ha! JEN MOSS! Back to work. MOSS Yes Jen. Hes playing Minesweeper. Jen and Jan move on.

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JEN And this is Roys desk but he not here. Moss can you message Roy. MOSS Message? Video chat or email? JEN I dont know. Video. MOSS Skype or Face time? JEN I dont care! Call him! Jen and Jan move into RICHMONDs room. Off-screen. RICHMOND Hello The girls are caught by surprised and scream. Moss picks up his mobile phone and calls Roy. INT. ROYS HOUSE Roy, in a panic. Rushes in and locks the door. He stubble into the living room. Peaks out of his slightly open curtains. Zombies. Well, people moving like zombies. He shaken. Roy jumps from the sudden ringing of his phone. ROY (whimpering) Hello? MOSS Hi Roy. Everything alright? Roy whimpering.

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MOSS Thats nice it sound like you got a dog. By the way Roy, whats a six letter for the undead? A zombie slams on the window. ROY (shouts) ZOMBIE! MOSS Hm your right. How didnt I not get that. Got to go. Triple word score! Moss hangs up to Roy dismay. The zombie slams the window again and growls. Roy bolts upstairs. INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT - LATER Jan gazes lovingly at Moss. Moss battling through a serious game of Bookworm. The phone on Roys desk rings. Jan answers it. JAN Hello this is Jan, how can I help? Moss shake his head. MOSS (To self) Noob. Jen walks by to listen in. Split screen. DOUGLAS Who the hell are you and wheres Jen? I need her sweet tush to fix my com-put-er. Jen shakes her head profusely. Gestures shes really busy.

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CONTINUED: JAN (confused) umh- Shes playing the paino? Jen shakes her head. Gestures again. JAN (confused) I mean- shes spanking her cat? Shakes her head. DOUGLAS What! Now this I have to see! Jen gestures she typing. MOSS (loud) Shes typing!! He got it. Jen silently applause him. JEN Shes busy typing. DOUGLAS Oh well. Send her up when shes free. Call ended. JEN I am not going up there. Moss? MOSS Sorry Jen but I got some serious work to do. Hes playing Pinball. JEN Jan I know it your first day but Im sending you up. JAN Ok...? Jan gets ready to depart. JEN Dont be scared. Remember what you learnt in school. Be a good girl.

6.

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JAN Ha ok... Jan leaves for Denims office. JEN They grow up so fast. INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - DOUGLAS REYNHOLMS OFFICE INT. ROYS HOUSE INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT - JENS OFFICE INT. ROYS HOUSE INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT - JENS OFFICE INT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES - IT DEPARTMENT EXT. REYNHOLM INDUSTRIES INT. ROYS HOUSE